186

Trespasser
Posted on April 20, 2012 by David M Willis

186 thoughts on “Trespasser”

  1. Jen Aside

    SUBTEXT

    1. Joebo

      Not much about this is sub anything.

      1. Raiser

        SUBTEXT
        rearranged is
        BUTTSEX.

        *the more you know~*

        1. Andrusi

          …that is awesome.

        2. dusk

          butt taco sex

        3. Deanatay

          CONTEXT TACO

        4. Onion

          Subtext* Taco. Weren’t you paying attention?

  2. David Herbert

    He made your mom comfortable for a nickel.

    1. Leorale

      He trespassed uncomfortably in your mom

      1. Yotomoe

        I was gonna say something about fists but I think that’d be a stretch.

        1. Joe H

          Gross.

        2. chumpersonable

          Oh, that pun had BETTER be intentional.

      2. Zoey

        for a nickel

    2. Descolada

      His fist trespassed in your mom for a nickel!

      Doing it so Yotomoe doesn’t have to.

      1. Leorale

        So considerate!

  3. ASP3CT

    With his fists.

    Gentlemen, we have a contender.

    1. ASP3CT

      Wow, I did not realize the double meaning there.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Let the Mike/Joe slash-fics commence.

        1. Big Ninja Jim

          Commence? I would have thought they began with the first punching incident. If not earlier.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          But today’s comment from Joe will star off a new bunch of slash and that’s what counts.

        3. fellixe

          DO NOT WANT

        4. Chronos

          Soon, we’ll all get to see a picture of Joe’s ass being made uncomfortable by Mike’s fist. All it would need is a strategically placed blanket.

        5. Pat

          Oooooh! I get it now!

  4. Doctor_Who

    Mike: great philosopher, or our greatest philosopher?

    1. mechaqua

      What His philosophical school Empiricism or Structuralism, Rationalism , Realism?

      I am going to go with Trollism

      1. mechaqua

        or Grudgeism could work.

        1. Lord Harlock

          Obviously, Mike is a Equalists. For all are equally viable targets
          to the Mike!

        2. MR C

          mike is a fuck-you-all-ist

          duh

  5. Sensedog

    Damn Mike, that’s it? I was expecting more, really.

    1. Yotomoe

      Is it bad that I REALLY hope he’s JUST warming up?

      1. Sensedog

        He probably is, now that I think of it. Though he did effectively troll Dorothy to the point at which she becomes angry enough to request that he be removed. Given the other people in the room, he might not need to do anything else aside from watch a chain reaction.

        I just feel bad for Walky. Mike may have actually ruined whatever he could have had with Dorothy, given that Dorothy cares about maintaining her image in the eyes of others. I hope I am wrong.

        1. Kurai Seraphim

          That wouldn’t be Mike ruining it for Walky; that’d be Dorothy ruining it for Walky.

        2. Sensedog

          I can’t disagree with that, though I get the impression that Mike is someone who can read people like an open book. He saw an opportunity, and he took it for kicks.

        3. begbert2

          Well, she’s hardly been subtle. She was necking right in front of him. Add that to her comment here in class and was practically painting a bulls’eye on her back.

          And this is Mike. Of course he did it for kicks.

      2. Leorale

        He’s totally just warming up.

        1. BrokenEye, True False Prophet

          Yeah, warming up your mom

    2. Brasca1

      It’s his freshman year and while he certainly has a talent for violence he lacks super powers so he probably has to be careful how many people he pisses off so he doesn’t get his ass kicked.

      1. Klondike

        Its funny that you think his ass can be kicked.

  6. Plasma Mongoose

    Asshole powers, ACTIVATE!

    1. mechaqua

      Form of a Troll!

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Form of an ICY RECEPTION!

      2. Yotomoe

        Shape of a dick!

        1. Khrene Cleaver

          Form in YOUR MOTHER!

        2. Chronos

          Form of a nickel!

    2. Bekah

      Today, you’re that teacher who couldn’t keep her tail hidden from … RosarioxVampire? But what’s her name?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Correct and her name is Shizuka Nekonome and she has been 17 years old for the past few decades.

  7. Yotomoe

    y’know, showing Mike back to back with Dorothy and Leslie makes me realize just how friggin’ blonde he is. He’s practically a super saiyan.

    1. Gundi

      His Hair is the color of… CHEESE.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Cheddar or Parmesan?

        1. fellixe

          Velveeta

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          In that case, Dotty’s hair is akin to Asiago cheese.

    2. Andy

      He’s a Super Asshole 2.

    3. Doctor_Who

      His asshole level…it’s OVER 9000!

      1. mechaqua

        What 9000!?

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Mike’s asshole went from (_._) to (_O_) .

        2. Kernanator

          …Well played, Mongoose. Well played.

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          Mike iz firin hiz butt-lazers.

    4. artemi

      Seriously, he’s, like Dennis the Menace blonde.

      …actually, now that I think about this, this all makes sense…

      1. Kernanator

        Mike is a grown up Dennis the Menace. This is my new headcanon.

        1. fellixe

          The grav makes this comment so much more!

        2. Historyman68

          Her dildo was her old head-cannon.

        3. Historyman68

          Sorry, couldn’t resist Explaining The Joke.

        4. fellixe

          Tend towards unnecessary expository, eh? You aren’t a supervillain, are you?

        5. Historyman68

          …no!

        6. Plasma Mongoose

          @Kerny: If Mike is grown-up Dennis, does that mean that Ruth is the grown-up Margaret and Sal is the grown-up Gina?

        7. Kernanator

          Sure, why not.

  8. Wonder Wig

    Better to French a guy who puts his pajamas back on then to put the pajamas back on a French guy.

    1. Yotomoe

      French guys need help putting their pajamas on too. :c

    2. Leorale

      Do you get to take the pajamas off the French guy, later?

    3. Wack'd

      This morning I shot a French guy in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I don’t know.

      1. fellixe

        That sounds like a crude slur and a euphamism all at the same time.

        “You looked hot when you came out of the shower, hon. About made me shoot a French guy in my pajamas!”

        1. Khrene Cleaver

          Sacre Blue! Qu’est-ce que c’est!?!

  9. Bekah

    Maybe it’s different at Indiana, but when I was in college, I just wandered into random classes if I thought they were interesting, and the prof didn’t give a single shit whether I was in his/her class or not. Even if I spoke up and said something totally disruptive. Only time I was ever asked to leave a class was when my phone went off more than once. And that was a class I was actually enrolled in.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      sO ANYONE OFF THE STREET CAN TURN UP TO CLASS?

      1. Bekah

        Pretty much. Especially freshmen undergraduate classes.

        1. Yotomoe

          then…why would anyone pay for college?

        2. Heavensrun

          For the certificate that proves that you passed all your courses, that convinces employers that you learned something there.

        3. Yotomoe

          well yeah…there’s that.

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          From what I heard about the value of a BA these days, it’s only function is to prevent the people at a company’s HP department from tossing out your resume before they even start the selection process.

        5. Bekah

          Showing up to class doesn’t mean you get credit for it, nor does it mean you’re allowed to take the tests or get graded on the assignments.

        6. Random832

          Incidentally, there is also something called “auditing”, which as as I understand it allow you to take the tests and get graded on the assignments, but not get credit for the class.

        7. John

          They don’t give you a degree for just showing up.

        8. Plasma Mongoose

          If you’re not after a degree, just interested in learning for learning’s sake, then it sounds like a great deal.

        9. mechaqua

          Its called auditing most universities usually allow you to do it for small classes for the first two weeks, during the add drop period, with larger lecture classes it is much easier to do.

        10. Andy

          Yeah, it’s easy with big lecture classes (usually math and science). If there’s a hundred people in the hall, nobody is going to notice you.

        11. Bekah

          Only the first two weeks? That’s weird. I did it all through colleege and never got any guff about it.

        12. Sensedog

          A lot of professors in many colleges just don’t care if anyone wants to sit in on any classes that they happen to be teaching. Some do, but in my experience they tend to be fewer in number than those who don’t care at all.

        13. Tualha

          Good way to find out in advance which profs are good teachers, desu ne?

        14. lordphulish

          Wasn’t there a Joe Pesci movie where he played a homeless man who sits in on college classes at an Ivy League school?

          (does research) Ah, the movie was With Honors

        15. Historyman68

          Oh man that’s such a Joe Pesci movie.

  10. Kaixa

    I put mine back on when I get home too…

    Am I not supposed to do that…?

  11. Ryan

    He embarrassed Dorothy, and got Dorothy to somehow make Walky feel like shit. Well. Played.

  12. Ter

    Good play there, Mike. You did good, man. You did good.

    And you weren’t even given a nickel.

  13. mechaqua

    Its good to know our future President can maintain her composure under pressure!

    1. Yotomoe

      This is the future of debating, people. it’ll take america by storm

    2. Everyl

      Whereas Mike is keeping perfectly calm in a room with an increasingly-hostile audience.

      Does that mean Mike would be a better president than Dorothy? Imagining him in high-level diplomatic talks with foreign leaders makes me think yes.

      1. Yotomoe

        If Mike were president he would single-handedly turn the world into a Mike-ocracy where all men and women must pay tribute to him by having him lie with their mothers. He will also require a nickel tribute to his mandatory solid gold mike statue’s on every block. Finally, via lottery, Mike makes one person’s life living hell every day

      2. Chronos

        The only way I see Mike in high-level peace talks is if he’s the person presiding over the peace summits/delegations/whatever, making observations toward the various other countries’ dignitaries that ultimately make said dignitaries go for each other’s throats, the end result being all other countries going to war with each other. Everyone loses except for Mike.

    3. Phlebas

      Vice President, surely?
      (though obviously Joe or Roz would do better in charge of vice)

  14. Joebo

    FAAAAAAAAAACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  15. Shade

    Quick! We need to get Mike to be very, very bored!

  16. Raen

    “Joyce hired him to punch me in the face when I looked down her blouse and then when I checked out the waitress.”

    “…I’m making a slight change to the lesson plan.”

    1. Historyman68

      Yeah seriously, Leslie would have a lot to talk about in terms of gender roles after hearing that story.

      Btw, I think it’s great that a comic that has so much thematic content about gender relations – Joyce is uber-Christian, Joe is chauvinist, Roz is Roz, attempted date rape storyline, inversion of the superhero love triangle – has a gender studies class so they can explicitly discuss these issues. It’s very clever, without being too obvious.

  17. Aria

    Walky looks so sad here; I just wanna walk into the comic and give him a big hug. Preferably after he changes out of the ketchup shirt.

    1. Yotomoe

      well Aria if blue skadoos you can too.

    2. BigMadDraco

      Your gravatar makes your comment seem really sarcastic.

  18. artemi

    If this gets rough, who will Joyce side with? Dorothy is definitely her friend, but I’m willing to bet that she considers Mike one, too.

  19. Blob Marley

    Mike, your shenanigans have ceased to amuse. Get out before you ruin the best thing ever,

    1. TacosForever

      Agreed! Aaagh, Mike.

  20. TPman

    Joe, he could make your face feel a lot more uncomfortable with his faaaace.

    1. AliaPie

      Now I’m imagining Mike kissing Joe.

      1. Jackson

        Wasn’t there a Slash Contest entry of that?

        1. David

          Sadly, no.

  21. AliaPie

    This is why I love this webcomic.

  22. Imska

    Poor Walky. He didn’t ask for this. He’s like Adam Jensen, except with relationship issues instead of bionic implants.

    1. Crotonhurst

      Can you imagine Walky with built in sunglasses!? Wiigii!

      1. Imska

        Slacker-chic. I can dig it.

  23. Kernanator

    Mike, I wear my pajama bottoms all the time in my dorm. They’re comfy.

    Maybe this is why I don’t get dates.

    1. fellixe

      Tough to turn up too many good dates in your dorm unless you have a popular roomie.

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      It’s a shame that more chicks don’t dig the sweatpants look.

      1. Kernanator

        I know, right? They’re good when you think it might rain!

  24. TemplarKnight

    You know, in the last panel, the stain above the buttaco looks like an ! making it look like the buttaco is surprised.

    1. Historyman68

      I noticed that too!

  25. andrew

    Whats this, will there be conciquences for mike DUN DUN DUN!

    1. fellixe

      Is that some kind of Latin American dessert?

      1. Khrene Cleaver

        No… It as just desert. S=J

        1. L

          I’m pretty sure I’ve had a “Conciquence” with piloncillo and cajeta

  26. NF

    Dorothy just got Miked!

  27. Aegon01

    Poor Walky. Again, this shows exactly how highly everybody thinks of him. The message is that he doesn’t deserve a girlfriend or happiness ’cause he’s kind of a slob.

    1. Aegon01

      I mean seriously, look at his face. That’s freakin’ heartbreaking.

      1. TacosForever

        Personally, out of the selection of guys in this comic, Walky’s probably the only one I would consider dating. Just saying. Because he is a slob, but he’s also actually a nice guy. I think he’s really getting a bad rap from the other characters (including Dorothy) and it is making me really sad.

        1. Thomas

          Joe is no less of a nice guy. His philandering may not be to your taste, but he’s honest about his intentions, he cares about his friends and also about the pleasure of his sex partners. He just doesn’t understand that for other people, sex is not a primary focus. Joe may be dense, but he’s a good guy.

        2. TacosForever

          Fair enough! You make good points.
          Plus, if nothing else, Joe is hilarious.

        3. Aria

          I’m not sure that I’d say he was honest about his intentions with Joyce. She certainly didn’t think that he was looking for a one and done.

        4. Thomas

          Joe was honest about wanting to date Joyce. Joyce agreed to have a date. Both have different ideas about dating and are only marginally aware that other viewpoints exist. The date ended before Joe got to discuss further plans, although he *did* try to bring up the subject.

          What makes Joe a dick is his stupid rating system for women. In his view, all women are potential sex partners. It doesn’t occur to him that they might not be interested in having sex with him. However, he *may* have understood that women might not like to be judged on account of their looks, because he only mentions these ratings to other guys.

  28. Oh… what I missed out on...

    As a Purdue graduate (with 3 uncounted IU semesters) I would just like to state that Perdue Chicken Nuggets are NOT as good as the skin/beaks/lips that are actual “McNuggets.” That said… I’m going back for about 12 more after 3 minutes in the microwave, because that’s what a night out in Athens (UGA) makes you do at this hour.

  29. Khrene Cleaver

    I really don’t want WalDot to fail! PUHHHLLLEEEEAAAAASSSE MR DAVID-SAMA-SAN DEEEESSSSUUUUUUU!!!

    No… oI can’t be… the fangirl virus, I should’ve known it I’ve contracted it from my expressions of joy when Dorothy and Walkerton having on panel romance…

    Some one please… put me out of my misery… I don’t wanan die in cat ears worshiping Naruto’s Sasuke…

    No seriously, this actually pulling my heart strings, I actually really want them to have a nice relationship. This isn’t solely a reflection of my own desires though, you actually write us into growing attached to these well developed characters that don’t fall into archtypes without going against the character thats been setup for them, but adding to the dimension of these extensions of you and your experiences and knowledge.

  30. ADHadh

    Well, I guess it’s only fair if Joe makes Mike’s face uncomfortable now.

    1. TacosForever

      Haha yes! This!

  31. Harry

    Dorothy blushing may just be the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.

  32. Historyman68

    I think this was a necessary corrective to all the “I love Mike so much!!!” in Sp!

    The recent storyline there has been amazing, but it’s built on Mike channeling his assholishness into caring about another person. This is a reminder that, as entertaining or justified his jerkiness may be, he’s still being a massive asshole. Who doesn’t give a shit about other people’s feelings.

    Setting someone on fire in a toy store is hilarious. Humiliating your roommate for no reason is mean.

    1. shoeboxjeddy

      See, too sensitive. I still find this hilarious. Mike would only not be hilarious if he was real and directing his “energies” (in whatever form that might take) at you.

      1. Shippy McShipper

        That’d be kinda hard, considering that he’s ficticional and we, presumably, are not.

        And now that I said that, who wants to bet that he’ll try?

        1. Historyman68

          Makin all like Moriarty on the Holodeck

      2. Historyman68

        See, recently Mike’s targets have all been deserved, or at least brought upon themselves, to make some kind of point, even if it’s massively disproportionate retribution. But that ignores all the times he’s attacked people for no reason at all- Ethan, for example, a lot.

        I saw a lit

      3. Historyman68

        See, recently Mike’s targets have all been deserved, or at least brought upon themselves, to make some kind of point, even if it’s massively disproportionate retribution. But that ignores all the times he’s attacked people for no reason at all- Ethan, for example, a lot.

        I saw a lot of comments in the last Sp! storyline along the lines of “Mike’s an asshole, but he’s our asshole.” I think this plot here is Mike himself making the meta-point that he’s nobody’s asshole.

  33. AJBulldis

    This is making it really hard to ship MikeXDorothy.

  34. Yotomoe

    Food for thought, the girl behind mike looks like a Dorothy doppleganger. just without glasses

    1. begbert2

      Face is too long; hair is too long and in a different style; nose is drawn in a light line color rather than black. She is blonde though.

      On the other hand, she does bear a vague resemblance to a person drawn with lines. As does Dorothy. And come to think of it, Mike. Hey wait a minute…

  35. creatorx2

    Okay yeah, Mike is into Dorothy big time.

  36. Kelsey

    Mike is only enrolled in classes in which he can maximize the discomfort of others.

  37. chumpersonable

    Walky’s transformation into a sad puppy: 78% complete.

  38. lordphulish

    Is anything Mike says here untrue? No.

    1. begbert2

      Mike doesn’t lie. He doesn’t have to, and the truth hurts more.

      1. Yotomoe

        and his fist hurts more. He just likes working himself up.

      2. Shippy McShipper

        “I don’t have to lie to you if I can get what I want by playing it straight”.

  39. shoeboxjeddy

    Dorothy’s embarrassed face is the best. The best I say! Mike must stay, just for that.

  40. Tenn

    Joe, I think you mean he made your FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE feel uncomfortable. With his penis fists.

  41. Danielle

    The question is has he ever been that bored?

  42. Krimson

    I don’t know about anybody else but I think this Leslie might just be able to take Mike.

  43. Jehosaphat

    Poor Walky, such a sad face.

  44. Silva

    I realize this is off topic and my chances of getting a direct response are low. Anyway, Mr. Willis, how much practice has it taken to get relatively smooth lineart? I started up drawing digitally again a couple days ago and had to scrap both drawings because of really messy lines.

    Visual example, foe anyone interested: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v324/elvish_samaurai/wip2.png

    1. Jason

      Looks a lot like Willis’s blue lines, before he adds the straight black ones. Don’t ask me how the scribbly blue lines become straight black ones.

      1. Silva

        I tried tracing it over but it didn’t go terribly well. Maybe I just wasn’t persistent enough.

        1. Yotomoe

          as a digital artist I’ll say it’s a combination of practice and using fast strokes or paying more attention to your strokes. It’s near impossible at first and even if you try doing fast strokes you’ll find yourself hitting ctrl+z a lot. It’s just something you gotta work on. trust me.

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      Well Willis has been draw webcomics regularly for 14 years, so he is bound to be pretty damn good at it by now.

      Also Willis has one of those expensive screen-tablet thingies that makes it a lot easier to draw well on a computer.

    3. David

      My lines are “smooth,” I think, if I get what you’re getting at, because each line is just one line. It seems like you’re using a very thin pen to build up a bunch of tiny lines into a much thicker line. When I draw, I start out with a thicker pen (well, thicker digital pen) and each line is one stroke. I don’t build up many tiny strokes into a thicker line.

      The best way to simulate my linework style is to draw with a sharpie marker.

      1. Silva

        That’s exactly what I meant. Thank you very much.

  45. Jason

    Ooooh, the roommate who put his pajamas back on after classes … I’ve had that one. Actually no, he just stripped down to his underwear and played on the computer all day while in bed. And this was before laptops. He actually positioned his mattress underneath the wall-mounted desk in the dorm.

    1. Jason

      Meanwhile, Walky is rethinking his assessment of Mike as “best roommate ever!”

    2. Yotomoe

      So your roomate is a combination of Joe, Amber and Walky?

    3. Kernanator

      …Are you one of my roommates? Cause that description sounds a lot like me.

  46. Sigma Octantis

    Wait a second… wasn’t the whole french part just a dream that Walky had? I could be mistaken, but, considering the conclusion, I choose to stay with it : Mike is able to infiltrate other peoples minds.
    Though you all knew that already, I guess.

    1. TacosForever

      No, that actually happened! It was just that right after that the comic jumped to the next day where Walky was all daydreamy and drawing him and Dorothy riding on a dinosaur and stuff.

      1. Sigma Octantis

        Well, though I did like my explanation more (psychic Mike is always great), thanks for the clarification. Makes more sense this way.

  47. Mo

    Suddenly, Dorothy reverts to third grade. Or else we all realize she doesn’t care what Leslie’s name actually is.

  48. Maycroft

    Mike you’re awesome, you’re a rockstar, you’re Elvis, you’re god.

  49. HelenKellersDog

    Can I punch him…please?

  50. Usayasha

    Brave New World is a book I read recently about a dystopian society where people grow babies in bulk with test tubes and SCIENCE!

    So tell me… how would Mike fare in a world without any mothers? What would he resort to!?! COULD HE EVEN GO ON!?!?!?!

    1. L

      Was it? I was too busy thinking about what Lenina Crowne would look like given she was described as “Pneumatic”. My guess? Thick hottie.

  51. Perhapsormaybe

    I think this is my favorite version of Mike. He’s still a complete asshole that would scare the hell out of me if I knew him in real life, but this version of him seems to use his dickery for slightly less evil purposes. I read through the archives and up to current within the past day or so, but he seems to primarily make good points while simultaneously making people feel like shit. He’s kind of the slap in the face some people need for motivation. I’m really enjoying this series, it’s really neat to see these characters in a new world and see how they’d change if their lives were a bit different. Plus more Sal! I heart her.

  52. Jinxed44

    Maybe I’m over-analyzing the character or maybe I just don’t see where this is going, but I’ve always seen Mike as more elegant in his trolling than this.
    He’s my favorite character, so maybe this is pure bias, but I’ve always seen him going for the harder targets, and doing more damage of a more substantial nature to them (at least when bothering to attack his targets mentally).
    Here it feels like he’s going overboard to attack Dorothy’s conflict between her goals and attraction? And he’s taken a strong stance in one direction, embarrassing her (using negative spin and peer-pressure?) into (prematurely?) making a move on this conflict?
    Maybe there’s some grand scheme behind all of this or maybe it’s just this universe’s Mike’s idea of a good time, but his actions feel less pointed/genuine here, and, as is, this leaves me feeling a bit disappointed. 🙁

    1. Jinxed44

      …
      Of course it would be his idea of a good time, please ignore that part of the comment if you read this. X(

  53. Pingback: Intro To Web Comics | Shouja's Soapbox

  54. Trigger

    Sometimes Mike reminds me of Heero Yuy. This is one of those times.

    1. Trigger

      Whups. This should be of the next comic. :F

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