214

Nerve
Posted on December 13, 2011 by David M Willis

214 thoughts on “Nerve”

  1. Jen Aside

    Walky seems to have other ideas, looks like…

    XD

    1. Joraiem

      No, Walky just has “joke sense.” He knows the best moment to do a joke. And goddamnit this was it.

      1. Far

        Yeah, but everybody better run for the fallout shelter – NOW!

        1. Rogue of Space

          Sorry, can’t do it. The birds flew off with it

        2. Treb Meister

          WHOO! AMERICAN PIE !!

        3. RandomPerson12

          Will a cardboard box work?

  2. Mkvenner

    Lardo is going to kill him.

    1. Valdrax

      He has him a healthy handful of hate handles.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Billie is Flabogasted!

        1. Wandering Meme

          Good thing walky didn’t go lower. That’d make her flip the murder switch!

      2. Wandering Meme

        I wonder if this is a bad time to point out that “he made her all wet”…

    2. Mr. Morningstar

      ALITERATION!

  3. Darth Shadow

    And then Billie killed everyone.

    1. Tom

      Twice.

      1. Izzy

        With her penis for a Nickle and kept their femurs and faces to show off to your mother who he paid said Nickle to have relations with

        1. Izzy

          She*

        2. Doom Shepherd

          *Nickel

        3. Stephen Bierce

          FAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!

        4. Henry

          FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE.

        5. Aizat

          SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE.

        6. Blob Marley

          FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAITH

        7. Henry

          I suspect Billie is now going to CHAAAAAAAAAAAAASE Walky.

        8. Valdrax

          SPAARRRTAAAAAAAAAA!!!

        9. Plasma Mongoose

          LAAAAAARD!

        10. Tucker

          WAAAIIIIIIST!

        11. Fred

          RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE

        12. Mr. Morningstar

          Billie is most likely going to use a MAAAAAAAAAAAACE to kill walky.

        13. Tucker

          She’s a bit lacking in GRAAAAAAAAAAAAACE

        14. Raye

          I have a God awful memory. Where did the whole “FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACEEE!” thing originate from?

        15. Tucker

          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2010/comic/book-1/01-move-in-day/face/

        16. alex

          +10 internets

  4. Freeholder

    Wow…. Walkys a dick.

    1. Thor

      In all of the Walkyverse, this is my favorite Walky cartoon ever.

      1. Plan D

        He’s actually even better because the truly off the wall stuff happens less in DoA. Universes change, Walky stays the same.

        1. Henry

          It’s the same Walky. Walky is an interdimensional constant. No matter who you are, what you do, or where you go, it’s the same Walky.

          Every. Damn. Time.

        2. f.p.

          The true, deeper meaning of the phrase “It’s Walky!”

        3. HMRC4EVR

          So….Walky’s Unicron?

          This is bad. This is very bad….

        4. Henry

          Well, he’s already the Cheese. I suppose it’s not outside the realm of possibility.

        5. SgtNumnum

          If Walky’s Unicron, how come Earth/the autobots/he hasn’t been destroyed

        6. Tucker

          Clearly The Cheese has something to do with this.

        7. Henry

          Reminds me. Willis, when are we gonna see the Cheese in some form here? I mean, we haven’t even seen his Cheesiness adorning one of Galasso’s pizzas!

        8. Just for kix

          This reminds of Clamps three series – Cardcaptor Sakura, TRC and xxxHolic and how there were two constants in these three universes. Is Willis planning something similar here, are we going to see inter-dimensional characters now and then? (That would be awesome btw)

  5. Ash

    And then Walky died.
    It was tragic.

    1. Wandering Meme

      I don’t know what’s funnier: the fact that he’s gonna die, or that that is her beer stash.

      Maybe it’s that he’s gonna die FOR being right?

      1. dchorror

        He’s going to die for proving her wrong.

        Sadly, that’s what gets most fictional guys.

  6. Doctor_Who

    It’s late at night, so I read the third panel as “I found your boob-stash”.

    The fourth panel…didn’t help.

    1. iSaidCandleja-

      Maybe in a few decades, but for now she is as perky as a college coed.

      1. alex

        well breasts are just lumps of fat with valves, so one could just see that as her spare breast supply.

        1. OhHayMike

          Thanks for that lovely representation of breasts.

        2. alex

          my pleasure.

        3. Mally

          Sudden mental picture of a modified version of the Valve vanity plate, only instead of having it attached to the head or eyes, it’s… yeah.

          You know where I’m going with this.

    2. Undrave

      BOOOOOOOOBS!

  7. Kirby

    And thus we see the final moments of David “Walky” Walkerton.

    He died as he lived. As an idiot.

    1. Freeholder

      I take it Joyce already called dibs on final rights.

  8. Aizat

    Not close, huh?

    1. Joraiem

      Billie really has a point though. I know there may be some people who fight all the time and then end up getting together, but it’s not nearly as common as certain areas of fiction would have us believe. Like in anime – just because a girl is beating the crap out of a dude does not mean she wuvs him.

      For the most part, real couples start by, ya know, getting along and enjoying each other’s company.

      That being said, this was hilarious.

      1. a99steaksauce

        Its why its called fiction. People can tend to have a bias towards an idea of the situation because they cannot coorelate the difference in likely hood of it happening in fiction and in real life. Pretty much all of the modern societies around the world have such biases from one source or another.

        1. Joraiem

          Well yeah, but certain kinds of fiction – it isn’t what’s gonna happen in this comic, probably.

          And the real issue is that people actually BELIEVE these things in real life, because of stuff like romantic comedies or whatever. “Oh, those two fight all the time! They must secretly love each other!” People will actually say this. It just… confuses me to no end.

        2. Kintrex

          Maybe it has to do with how kids always tease the ones they like.

      2. Kisai

        I disagree, people who fight all the time do not make good couples, it just suggests that one of them -likes- being abused or likes being in control and the other person thinks it’s normal (or puts up with it for some other motive.)

        Such people also inflict that abuse on their children and the children do that to others thinking it’s normal, they are shocked when the others have a problem with their behavior.

        But in the case of Walky this doesn’t seem abusive, he just can’t reading the moment.

        It’s also fiction, the kind of abuse you see in Anime would get you jail time if it weren’t the fictional world of rubberband people.

        1. Joraiem

          Sometimes, there is such a thing as sexual tension, when people will have fights more often than normal friends because they like each other. SOMETIMES. But yeah, if that’s all they do, then they wouldn’t work out as a couple.

          But that was… kind of my point?

      3. Bill M.

        Billie may have a point (actually two points, sitting way up high, but Bob Seger & I digress) she almost comes off as “protesting too much.”

    2. Ragnal

      You can be pretty darn good friends and still show off means of affection. Or in Walky and Billie’s case…not-quite-friends.

  9. iSaidCandleja-

    Walky appears to be enjoying this a little too much.

  10. Deemah

    Oh Walky, this is how you die

  11. Andrew Colunga

    – Faye from QC jumps into the fight.

    1. Jacob

      And Fuzzy shows up with popcorn to watch

      1. Jacob

        sorry, remade it after it posted

      2. Azumango

        Somehow, they all wind up with butts disease.

    2. Jacob

      And Fuzzy from Sam & Fuzzy shows up with popcorn to watch

  12. Martian

    I almost choked on a mouthful of Bugles reading this!
    Best near-death experience EVER!

    1. fellixe

      Same here, and there aren’t even any Bugles in the house. Yet I nearly choked on them nonetheless. Well played, Willis.

      1. Tucker

        Is that….code?

        1. darkond2100

          We’ll give you +4*10^23 Internets to keep your mouth shut.
          Rules 1 and 2, bongoes, you’ll keep your femurs.

        2. Tucker

          Since when was it a crime against the internet to quote TV’s Craig Ferguson?

  13. Aizat

    I had watched too many animes to know that Billie might be lying about her true feelings.

    1. Just for kix

      LOL! Amen! 😀

  14. tomtom

    man, i don’t think i could ever stay mad at walky

  15. Pivitor

    I think my favorite part is Dorothy’s polite laugh as Walky grabs her

    1. taekwondogirl

      I think she’s trying to stifle a not-so-polite laugh instead.

  16. Tristan J

    I like that people think doing this gets you killed.

    I’ve done this, like, a thousand times. The trick is to be so lovable that it overpowers how annoying you can get.

    1. iSaidCandleja-

      Did you do this to anyone who was insisting that they only had a passing knowledge of you rather than an intimate relationship?

      1. Tristan J

        Yes.

        1. iSaidCandleja-

          Obviously you are a zombie. Here, have some chilled brains with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

        2. Alechsa

          I like that you have a Robin avatar while insisting this.

    2. RedScharron

      A friend of mine almost suffered severe injuries from doing this. Not because I was mad (although I was) but because he hadn’t noticed the scaldingly hot cup of coffee in my hand which shot over my shoulder when I screamed and jumped in the air. Luckily he’d just stuck his head over my other shoulder to say hello, so it shot past him instead.

      Scared him badly enough that he never did it again though, so I count it as a win.

  17. Seerow

    Oh my god I can’t stop laughing

  18. Ridureyu

    I think that water makes Walky evil.

    1. eerilychildish

      Also, if you feed him after midnight, he splits into multiple Walkys.

      1. eerilychildish

        It’s like Gremlins, only backwards.

        1. fellixe

          Snilmerg?

        2. Tucker

          +internets

  19. iSaidCandleja-

    Dotty’s freckles are a nice attention to detail. I wonder if she’ll need help applying sunblock.

  20. MM

    I’m sure someone smarter than me has already pointed this out, but there’s an obvious flaw in Dorothy’s theory that she of all people should realize. If Walky liked Billie, he’d be catatonic in her presence except for the occasional flung projectile.

    But hey, he seems to be charming the real object of his affections in the fourth panel, so maybe he can die a happy man.

    1. iSaidCandleja-

      Love and lust produce completely different reactions. I am sure Dorothy understood when she was being lusted after, but Walky obviously wouldn’t have acted so ‘odd’ with serious (current or former) partner.

      1. Blob Marley

        Buddy, coming from a terminally shy guy, Walky had classic “I like this girl way more than I should” paralysis. Lust needn’t enter the equation.

        1. f.p.

          Seconded. I unintentionally did that to a girl during my freshman year of college. Almost exactly the same scenario, as she was a huge Transformers geek. I’m pretty sure I creeped her the hell out, but she tried her best to be nice anyway.

    2. ShadeTail

      Actually, learning Dorothy isn’t a virgin (link) seems to have snapped Walky out of that….

      1. iSaidCandleja-

        Nah, I’m pretty sure he’d been snapped out long before he learned that. Specifically when he confessed he didn’t want commitment/maturity/losing-his-toy-house.

  21. The Aussie Bloke

    RIP Walky. We knew ye well

  22. addude

    So I’m guessing the rest of the weeks worth of strips our of the others mourning Walky’s death after Billie kills him in the next strip.

    1. Undrave

      She doesn’t seem to have any lethal weapons on hands so I’m guessing the rest of the week is going to be in the coma ward at the hospital.

      1. Undrave

        Maybe we’ll meet some wacky doctors there.

        Then it turns into “Scrubs: the Webcomic”. DAMN YOU WILLIS!

        1. Freeholder

          Recent events indicate that David is moving away from Scrubs into Community. Lo and behold, DoA’s setting gets pretty close.

          Source:http://www.shortpacked.com/2011/comic/book-13/05-the-death-of-snkrs/community-2/

        2. Lord Synick XXIII

          Maybe we’ll find this guy:
          http://www.itswalky.com/d/19990509.html

    2. Zababcd

      Or discussing whether to go to the police about it, but eventually deciding that they just want to put it behind them.

  23. Ryan

    Haha. Walky is the best.

  24. NF

    Walky, know that you did not die in vain. You died on a beach in Indiana.

  25. Aizat

    Billie, if you and Walky are not close, why does Walky know where your booze stash is, hmmmmm?

  26. LimeTH

    Wow, nice karmic retribution there, Walky.

  27. NinjaNick

    You’re such a prankster, Walky. 😛

  28. Kernanator

    The prosecution rests.

    1. Tucker

      Don’t you mean execution?

      1. Sgt_Sarge

        Combination of your name and my tiredness made me misread that as “erection”.

  29. Phil

    That was a little inappropriate. Also, probably not on purpose, but “Wh-Eeeee” is the sound of pigs squealing I couldn’t help but be flinch at that sound effect.

  30. taekwondogirl

    O_o

    I don’t think Walky will die from this. I do think he’ll have to start going by Limpy though…

    1. ryan

      nah, willis likes transformers. walky’s going to be called “wheelie”.

      1. taekwondogirl

        But Walky is going to get a name based off what the characters would call him, not what Willis would. They’re not super creative, especially Billie just yet.

  31. Henry

    Say whatever else you will about Walky: his timing is perfect.

  32. L

    All beer and no liquor gives Billie Walkyhandles

  33. Wix

    Walky! No! Do you realize the wrath you have called upon yourself!?

    1. Kernanator

      No, he’s trying to help Billie cover up their relationship in the best way he knows how.

      Please note: “Best way he knows how” is not the same thing as “best way”.

      1. fellixe

        I see your point. Nothing could support Billie’s claims about indifference to Walky more than if she got to beat him into a red smudge.

    2. Eposi

      perhaps he does, and he wants to save Dorothy.

  34. Oneizun

    Because we should totally learn all about this romance stuff from animes! 😀

    1. Oneizun

      Wow I am really good at this huh. -_-

    2. lawzlo

      Okay, who’s got the tentacles? Someone here must have ’em…

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        I bet Joe was nicknamed the octopus by some of the girls he has known, so yeah.

        1. Kernanator

          You mean he squirts ink whenever he gets startled.

  35. Doom Shepherd

    Bad touch BAD TOUCH!!!

    1. Bekah

      I promise that I’m not spamming.

      http://youtu.be/lXiP76cOego

  36. TemplarKnight

    Walky’s never been horribly murdered before, has he?

    1. TemplarKnight

      I mean in this universe where he think’s it is wise to point out a woman’s love handles by grabbing them publicly.

  37. andrew

    Only the dearist of friends can get away with that, with only a minor bludganing as punishment

    1. fellixe

      I know one minor about to be bludgeoned.

      1. Blob Marley

        Miners, not minors! (Name the movie for +10 internets!)

        1. DK1105

          Galaxy Quest

          I only know this because of an old roommate though.

        2. Michelle J Caboose

          …

          You lost me.

        3. Tucker

          Never give up, never surrender!

        4. Michelle J Caboose

          By Grapthar’s hammer, I will avenge you!

        5. Tucker

          There you go!

          Hey, guys, th–there’s a red thingy moving toward the green thingy.

        6. Sgt_Sarge

          You guys have such great chemistry. You should get married!

        7. Blue

          …I think we’re the green thingy.

        8. Michelle J Caboose

          I have ONE job on this ship — it’s stupid, but I’m gonna DO it!

  38. Scoot

    RIP Walky

  39. Locke

    Walky, what would make you think that’s even REMOTELY a good idea?

    … Wait, I know! He’s suicidal! We couldn’t tell before, but this is actually a dark, edgy reboot of Walky who intentionally puts himself in harm’s way, hoping for the sweet release of death.

    1. Tucker

      Only in death can Walk truly understand his inner CHEESE.

    2. Kernanator

      Of course! After Dorothy rejected him, he pretended he was just fine, but secretly he wanted to end it all! I CAN SEE EVERYTHING.

    3. Aizat

      So, Walky’s this universe’s version of The Punisher?

  40. Brendan

    Huh? I thought they didn’t know each other in this universe…

    1. David

      Third strip: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2010/comic/book-1/01-move-in-day/reputation/
      Fifth strip: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2010/comic/book-1/01-move-in-day/sister/

      1. Tucker

        Thank you for pointing out how much Billie’s breasts have swollen in under a week of DOA time.

        Feel like weighing in, Animal?

        1. David

          I think it’s more a property of everybody’s heads shrinking.

        2. begbert2

          Not between those two comics (though there has been some shrinkage, and further growage, between ‘sister’ and this one). But it’s not like you need to make excuses for this – I don’t see any anybody complaining here.

        3. Tucker

          I was just pointing out that it made me giggle.

          Homan, it took a lot of self-control not to make up some kind of yo-dawg. The artist of another comic I read just got introduced to you-dawg in his comment stream from this morning (and no, it wasn’t me that did it).

          I will, however, offer this pictorial explanation for the drastic change:
          http://img861.imageshack.us/img861/8043/villainy.png

  41. Blob Marley

    Hey, Walky, try not to be unconscious for too long once Billie beats you senseless. I hear it’s SUPER bad for you.

    1. f.p.

      Especially if he lands in the water.

  42. Pocket

    Walky, I love you bb… but I’ve killed men for less.

    1. Gundi

      I didn’t know you got internet access in prison. Sweet! Also, ‘er, killing people is wrong. And stuff.

  43. a99steaksauce

    This calls for a public execution I say!

    1. Mr. Morningstar

      Here, here!

  44. The HellJack

    1) Billie throws an overhand right cross right into Walkys nose.
    2) Joyce, Dorothy, AND Dina rush to the groggy Walkys rescue as he slowly starts to slip into the water.
    3) Billie becomes jealous of these three “tramps” clawing all over Walky, but she can’t figure out why.
    4) The start of the Drama-riffic Love Pentagon.

    Or…poop jokes. Either one.

    1. Tucker

      Likely Butts-Disease.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        More like Gutts Disease.

        1. Tucker

          It’s cute how you try to hide your PSL for Billie =3

          Furthermore: <3

    2. ryan

      when you say dina rushes to walky, you mean that she moves a few inches closer and then quietly asks him about it 3 months* later, right?

      *DoA time, not our time

      1. Tucker

        I was going to say, “five minutes from now?” XD

  45. TheSpoonyOne

    Good. Use your aggressive feelings, Billie. Let the hate flow through you.

  46. KresyAntics

    Walky, at least you saved Dorothy from the wrath of the BillieBoozeinator but what will save you? A DinaDinosaur perhaps?

  47. Plasma Mongoose

    and this comic proves to me that Tubs is the perfect nickname for Billie.

    1. Kernanator

      Quick, grab the booze out of her tummy handles!

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        So that’s where she hid her kegs…

  48. Aizat

    If Billie didn’t punch Walky after this, then I know something is up.

  49. Sporkaganza

    Well, that sank Billie/Walky for me. It does, however, establish that Billie doesn’t understand there can be more than one meaning for the word “close”. Although Billie doesn’t really want to admit it they were totally besties when they were kids. I mean, that was true in the Walkyverse and I see no reason why it’s not true here, especially considering Walky in the last panel.

  50. ryan

    when i saw the words “booze stash”, i read them as “booze ‘stache”.

  51. agentksilver

    Actually…yes. I’m still pretty certain he digs her.

  52. Name

    Can Walky get more awesome? Let’s find out.

  53. sarpiedon

    Tomorrow’s storyline begins, “The Death of Walky!”
    Dun dun DUHHHHHHH!!!!

  54. McGruff the Crime Dog

    Dayumn, gurl! You phat!

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Check out that Freshman Fifty.

  55. ADHadh

    That’s what I do, on a general basis 😀

  56. NobodySpecial

    I love the expression on Dorothy’s face in that last panel.

  57. Spammy McSpamster

    SO HOT

  58. Shifty

    Walky doesn’t have much of a self-preservation mechanism, does he?

    1. Kernanator

      He doesn’t need one. Walky is a hive mind.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        I, for one welcome our Walky overlords. 😛

  59. Kernanator

    Shippers gonna ship.

  60. Sir Robin

    … and there were no survivors

  61. Michelle J Caboose

    Oh, come on; you had to know I was going to do it.

    1. Michelle J Caboose

      Hmmm… Hyperlinks don’t stand out as such in DOA comments; not very well, at any rate…

      1. Tucker

        Looks like she’s… got alcohol poisoning. YEEEEEAAAHHHHH!

      2. Tucker

        You know, I think Willis changed the hyperlink colour based solely on your comment. Everything is red now!

        1. Michelle J Caboose

          I noticed that. Thank you, Mr. Willis!

          Erm.. i mean “Damn you Willis!”

  62. NCP19

    To quote Jacksfilms…I do not love these handles.

    1. Sgt_Sarge

      GERARD APPROVES

  63. Tucker

    In your Tumblr post you definitely said this comic was going to happen on a Wednesday…

    Where is it?

    Where is it!?

    Can I has retcon comic?

    1. David

      Guess I miscalculated when the strip would run.

      1. Tucker

        Here I was all excited for some sort of deleted scene.

  64. Raiu

    FACE!

    *Smacked*

    :'(

  65. Kalan

    Wally will not die today.

    He will, however, be buried. And probably have his breathing straw taken away.

  66. Kelvin

    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! OH MY GOD THIS IS AWESOME!!!!!! XD XD XD XD XD

  67. Roborat

    According to police records, it took months for most of Walkie’s body parts to be collected.

  68. dchorror

    Out of this comic, this is what I pulled out of it:

    Billie is denying any feelings, but is shouting Whee at being grabbed. I’m tempted to refer back to the image edit I made the other day.

    1. David

      She is not shouting “whee.”

      The “eeeee” is interrupting a word that started with “wh.”

      1. dchorror

        Intellectually, I know that. I was not entirely away when I first read this comic, which is not helped by a bad habit of reading comic strips backwards.

        After rereading it, I kinda knew she was going what and then was surprised. That’s just not how my brain registered it.

  69. Kernanator

    …I’ll be in my bunk.

    1. Tucker

      …with my grenades.

      1. MichaelHaneline

        I think you missed the firefly reference.

        1. Tucker

          I think I aced it up upping it with a Serenity reference. Mal wouldn’t let him have his grenades, so he’s making up for lost time.

      2. Kernanator

        Talk about extreme masturbation.

  70. Maveric1984

    Personally, I like a girl with some curves

    1. Maycroft

      It seems Walky does as well.

  71. Crazyon

    Welp, Looks like there going to be attending Walkies funeral soon.

  72. newllend

    Oh that’s fucking adorible

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