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Playmates
Posted on October 14, 2014 by David M Willis
vintagephoenix2014small I'm gonna be in Bloomington, Indiana, on Friday!  Come see me at Vintage Phoenix Comic Books from 5-7pm.  I'll have all three Dumbing of Age books, a print or two, and maybe some Shortpacked! books if I feel like it. On Wednesday, Dumbing of Age Book 3 will be available on Comixology.

198 thoughts on “Playmates”

  1. Jen Aside

    Tomorrow: ENDING OF AGE

    =C

    1. Jen Aside

      dangit now I want Jimmy John’s

      1. Maveric1984

        Oh come on, Jimmy Johns isn’t even that good. The only reason to buy it is because they deliver. Subway is way better.

        1. Kelly

          I went to Jimmy Johns once, not really impressed. Rather go to a local shop, they have the good stuff.

        2. Jen Aside

          KFC isn’t great, either, but I still want it on occasion =p

        3. Disloyal Subject

          At least their gravy & biscuits are pretty good.

        4. Aeyt

          KFC laces their food with drugs so you crave it nightly.

        5. No Name

          I take it you have never heard of Bojangles?
          The seven secret spices got nothing on ’em.

        6. Jen Aside

          I grew up in Tennessee. Of COURSE I heard of Bojangles!

          They’re on the “failed at least one health inspection” list in our area now. And the last time we ate there, our friends said the gravy was almost as thick as the tea.

        7. Mr. Random

          Wish to know if people understand reference:
          #teamJimmyJohns #teamtuba

        8. Lily

          Danquan?

        9. Mr. Random

          Wooooooooo!

        10. McWibble

          #teamtoaster

        11. Mr. Random

          Hooooooooooo!

        12. morniealantie

          “#8 No dijon, no mayo. BBQ Jimmy Chips & Dr. Pepper.”

          I hope you enjoy that. Copied and pasted from the original comment. It took 6 BLOODY MINUTES for the comments to load.

        13. Dean

          What is Jimmy John’s, and why do people keep referring to it?

        14. Madeline

          It’s a “fast-food” sub/sandwich chain. While I wouldn’t say they’re amazing, they are decent at least, but what’s really great is that they deliver.

        15. JetstreamGW

          http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jimmy_John%27s

        16. Romanticide

          the only thing I know is that they have non-compete agreements and if you ever lose your job there you cannot work in any place that makes sandwiches within 3 miles of any jimmy jonhs for 2 years. I just read that o.o

        17. Yarrr

          That’s not legal surely.

        18. Chris

          Actually, the 3 mile radius and the fact it’s specifically “making sandwiches” is nicely restrictive, and while most non-competes are 1 year, 2 years isn’t excessively onerous, so I would think it would probably hold up if tested.

        19. drs

          No, it’s insane. Can’t work at places that make 10% of revenue from sandwich sales. And in Bloomington, “within three miles of a Jimmy John’s” is *all of Bloomington*.

          Even if it’s legal, it’s evil and toxic.
          http://kitchenette.jezebel.com/jimmy-johns-non-compete-agreements-are-utterly-psychoti-1645839165

        20. Leorale

          If you think that’s crazy, you should see the ‘Do Not Compete, Fools’ agreement for Galasso’s Pizza (and subs).

        21. khn0

          This radius specificity is great: if it burst into flames, then you can still work anywhere, cause there isn’t a store location anymore.

          Time to light a strike…

        22. Tobias

          (@ drs) Weirdly, I just saw a friend link to that exact article on Facebook, and I’m pretty sure she’s not a DoA reader. And I had never heard of this company before today.

        23. Random832

          @Tobias the story just broke two days ago, that’s why.

        24. Cephalo the Pod

          Canadian Property Stars has something similar; can’t offer aeratioj services for another company (or independently) for 30 months upon leaving.

          That’s what mine said. An online scan of an old form said 60 months.

        25. Touchfuzzy

          Firehouse. There is no reason to go to any other sub place.

        26. Touchfuzzy

          Chain sub place anyway. Some local sub places might do better.

        27. Kelly

          Never heard of it. Only sub chain here is Subway.

          It seems weird to me that people keep referring to Jimmy Johns and Subway in the same breath… To me at least they seem very different. They both do sandwiches, but that is about it… Though maybe just because of what I always order at subway?

        28. Disloyal Subject

          US West Coast reporting in for Togo’s.
          Darn it, now I’m hungry.

        29. Seodra

          Dammit, I’m living in New York now, and now I want Togo’s and now I am also hungry. Crappit!

        30. Cephalo the Pod

          What, does America not have Quiznos?

        31. Henshu

          America has Quiznos. I used to go there all the time when they had those tiny sandwiches, but they don’t anymore so everything tastes like disappointment.

        32. Jen Aside

          Quizno’s: So good, you’ll eat it out of the trash!

          [/actual advert]

        33. gwalla

          Sure we do.

          WE LOVe ThE SUUUUUUBS!!!
          COZ THEY ARE GOOD TOO US

        34. MrSirk

          I’ve only recently discovered firehouse after being mostly subway before hand and I did not know what I was missing.

        35. khn0

          You bet. For less than a KFC, you can have such wonderlicious things that I cannot even translate what’s in it into proper english.

        36. Volkai

          Firehouse is hot subs. Jimmy John’s is cold subs.

        37. Aeyt

          Subway is okay. Submarina is great. Which Wich is the best.

        38. Pantheon the Mantheon

          Which Wich FOR LIFE! I actually work at a Which Wich. Gotta love dem discounts.

        39. Zandar

          Which Wich is awesome.

      2. All-purpose guru

        What is making you want Jimmy John’s?

        1. Stewart

          The hover text. Read it. 🙂

    2. Jen Aside

      oh THERE’S what I was looking for

      http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/jen_aside/20508/19542/19542_original.gif

  2. Tunaro

    Damn it Willis, now you’re just baiting us!

    1. Cinnybunsarefun

      Willis IS a master baiter, I hear.

      1. Sambo

        What you did there… I see it.

        1. Roborat

          Well, yea, I hope so. If someone throws out a straight line like that, it is pretty much guaranteed that it will be hit on.

      2. Charlie B. B.

        Perfect gravitar.

    2. Ivan

      I guess Billie will need a Chamber Pot – and Ruth will be carrying buckets of it down the hall. Soon the plague will resurge as the rats roost in the dorm, and those who love RenFests can live the real thing!
      .
      All because Billie won’t leave the room!

  3. CommunistCanada

    Billie was being Literal when she said that?

    1. Jon P

      I was really REALLY hoping that was figurative, and GUESS NOT.

  4. AgentKeen

    Ok, but what place delivers booze? That’s the real issue here.

    1. Tunaro

      Amazon?

    2. Maveric1984

      We had a neighbor who had booze delivered from a liquor store. It came by taxi.

      So yeah, it’s possible.

      1. Jen Aside

        There ARE drive-thru liquor stores, maybe…??

        1. Kelly

          So I have heard. I think it’s a Texas thing or something? Anyway no state I have spent any amount of time in has had anything like that. Heck in WA we only just dissolved the state-run liquor store system – they were the only ones that could sell anything beyond beer and wine.

        2. Kryss LaBryn

          Naw, they’ll do it in BC, Canada as well.

        3. Roborat

          Wait, so B.C. is not part of Canada now?

        4. Jacknoir

          any liquor store is drive thru if your drunk enough.

        5. LWS

          Showing my age, but when I was in high school/college in South Carolina, 18 was the legal drinking age for beer & wine, & there was no prohibition against driving with an open beer in your hand. Visited relatives in Mississippi & there was a drive through beer place about a mile away. They sold draft beer in a plastic container. Heard it didn’t last too long.

        6. gwalla

          Saw ’em in Ohio.

          It still seems like all kinds of a bad idea, but apparently they’re all over, just not in California.

        7. Romanticide

          In my hometown there are, but is not on the United States.

        8. AgentKeen

          There used to be one in my hometown in Missouri, and I think there used to be one (might still be there?) in my parents’ hometown in Iowa. The first time I noticed it I had a hard time believing this was a good idea.

    3. Scot

      If you live in an area where you can order from yummy.com or if you check out vons or safeway online ordering site where you can have your groceries delivered and you can get booze, food and even cigarettes delivered right to your door.

    4. Henshu

      Delivery booze is becoming a thing in college towns.

      1. khn0

        In my town, all-night booze delivery came three years BEFORE all-night pizza delivery.
        Of course, here, you can drink with 18.

      2. gwalla

        There’s a company in Berkeley that does late night delivery of junk food (burgers, sloppy joes, tater tots) and pho, and on the side they also deliver some non-food items…notably including lighters and rolling papers.

        It’s a pretty slick business model if you think about it.

  5. Darth Cariss

    So dramatic.

    1. shammers

      it really is like high school all over again! especially the sexy lesbian suicide pacts

  6. EvergreenFir

    End of everything?

    1. syd

      A gigantic face floating in a pool of orange stuff.

      1. Maveric1984

        Billie: I’m so fucked up…

    2. Cephalo the Pod

      A monument to non-existence.

    3. Deanatay

      “When Somebody Loved Me”.

  7. Doctor_Who

    Dammit, now it’s after midnight and I want Jimmy Johns.

    I’ll be useless until I get myself a frigging Turkey Tom.

    1. Cephalo the Pod

      Jimmy John’s sells Turkey Toms?

      That’s adorable.

  8. buckybone

    Until they drive their car off a cliff.

    1. saltchocolate

      Ouch. That movie goes straight to the core of my heart. May Billie and Ruth *never* feel like they’ve run so completely out of choices . . .

  9. liahansen

    You people cannot be not dramatic for more than a strip at a time

    1. Yotomoe

      For real guys. I’m 20 and I’ve never been this dramatic, and I’m still depressed over a girl I broke up with when I was 16.

      1. Maveric1984

        I have a friend from college who in the 8 or 9 years I’ve known him, has only had one girlfriend, with whom he was only with for about 5 months. They broke up in July.

        All that time before, he was still hung up on a girl from college. He’s going to be the best man at my wedding. I don’t know that I’ll get the chance to repay the favor at this rate.

        1. Maveric1984

          …girl from high school, not college. I really hate that we can’t edit posts…

        2. Yotomoe

          Haha I can’t speak for him, but for me I just have low self-esteem. I don’t think a girl will ever like me so it becomes this self-fullfilling prophecy.

        3. Maveric1984

          Damn iPad not being able to do hover text…

          Make me get my laptop out like some sort of animal…

        4. Kelly

          It just says “plus”
          musta got cut off…

        5. Yotomoe

          It was nothing important

        6. Yotomoe

          UGH, Why won’t it work?

        7. Yotomoe

          3rd Time’s the charm, Oh yeah!

        8. Kelly

          I dated a girl for a while in 2011/2012, at age 29-30. That’s it. Never had so much as a single date aside from that. I am still friends with her (my best friend in fact). Aside from her, I didn’t, and don’t, care about being in a relationship much.

          I mean, in theory it could be nice, but while I have a pretty good number of friends, including female friends, I just don’t know anyone where the effort needed for a romantic relationship sounds worth the effort. Probably I qualify as demiromantic or anyway some type of grey-romantic. Before I asked her out, I had thought I would never have any romantic relationship in my life, and I didn’t really care.

          Some people just don’t care that much about that, and it’s fine.

        9. liahansen

          This comment gives me so much hope for the future

        10. CptNerd

          We all remember the ones that ran away…
          .
          .
          got away, I meant got away. And not in that stalker movie way.
          .
          .
          Not anymore.

  10. Maveric1984

    Plenty of places near college campuses deliver. About the only place that doesn’t is the grocery store. You *can* order in every day of the week and have something different every day, but you’d gain about 2000 pounds.

    1. David Alexander McDonald

      The supermarkets in Tucson will deliver, particularly Safeway, and I suspect a couple of the neighbourhood markets could be inveigled into it. Market On The Move has started doing deliveries, too.

    2. Disloyal Subject

      I’m sure they can find a few ways to burn calories.

  11. Plasma Mongoose

    Is now imagining Billie as Shinji and Ruth as Asuka via End of Evangelion.

    1. Flimsyfishy

      Welp, you heard it internet, get on it.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Billie: “I’m so fucked up…”

    2. Greenmoon80

      Wow, that… actually works on many levels as a comparison, once I thought about it.

    3. Touchfuzzy

      If I could draw I would draw Billie as Shinji in the scene in EoE where he is in 01 and screaming that crazy ass scream.

    4. Jen Aside

      does mean Dumbing of EVAs

  12. Yotomoe

    The end of everything? At the pace of this comic that’ll be another 5 trillion years!!!

    1. Maveric1984

      That’s ok. That’s about when the universe is going to end too. So obviously there will be a few time jumps to catch up

    2. newllend

      10 trillion

    3. Roborat

      All I want to know, is if there is a restaurant there.

  13. dailybrad

    Okay, I get where she’s coming from now. Things have been so mercurial between them, that any given time they’ve seen each other, it’s been fire or ice between them, and that’s scary. Billie’s clinginess makes sense from a place of not knowing what she’ll be coming back to next time, or knowing if she’s going to fuck up the second she’s out of Ruth’s sight or vice versa.

  14. GoogerGeiger

    Billie was being literal?

    Good lord, that girl needs counseling.

    1. newllend

      So does everyone in this comic, this is nothing new.

    2. TheGreatLordBagel

      The rampant alcoholism and on/off love affair with her former tormentor didn’t clue you in?

  15. newllend

    I promise bla blah blah romantic things forever and ever.

  16. LeslieBean4Shizzle

    So… sweet. A discussion of the “End of Everything” should not be that sweet.

    1. Arkadi

      What’s so sweet about Billie literally threatening not to leave Ruth’s room ever, I wonder. I used to think Ruth was the crazier one in this relationship, but this is just sick.

      1. notlegato

        i was wondering about that… everyone going “ooh ship, my feels this is cute” and i’m here, horrified of their impending doom- dark times m8 haha.

        reminds me of SEVERAL melodramatic, self-destructive girls i’ve met in my life. spooky.

      2. LeslieBean4Shizzle

        Um, not the first three panels. The last two where Ruth snaps Billie out of it.

  17. Marty K

    Nice.

  18. Ali

    Damn you, Willis. Now I want Jimmy Johns…

  19. alicemacher

    I couldn’t take it any longer
    Lord! I was crazed
    And when the feeling came upon me
    Like a tidal wave
    I started swearing to my God
    And on my mother’s grave
    That I would love you till the end of time
    I swore I would love you till the end of time

    So now I’m praying for the end of time
    To hurry up and arrive
    ‘Cause if I gotta spend another minute with you
    I don’t think that I can really survive

    I’ll never break my promise or forget my vow
    But God only knows what I can do right now
    I’m praying for the end of time
    That’s all that I can do, ooh, ooh
    Praying for the end of time
    So I can end my time with you

    ©1977 Jim Steinman

    1. Maveric1984

      Somehow I think Billie didn’t put the brakes on as Ruth tried to steal home…

      Or would it have been Ruth shouting “Stop right there!” perhaps?

      1. Disloyal Subject

        Stop right there, criminal scum! Pay the court a fine or serve your sentence. Your stolen goods are now forfeit!

        ©2006 Bethesda Studios

    2. Bill

      I’d lie for you and that’s the truth
      Do anything you asked me to
      I’d even sell my soul for you
      I’d do it all for you
      If you’d just believe in me

      I’d lie for you and that’s the truth
      Move mountains if you want me to
      I’d walk across the fire for you
      I’d walk on the wild for you
      If you’d just believe in me…

      I’d lie for you and thats the truth

      © 1995 (?) by Diane Warren

    3. Amazi-Stool

      That is not dead which can eternal lie,
      And with strange aeons even death may die.
      ©(?) 1921 H.P. Lovecraft

  20. Flimsyfishy

    Billie really needs an honest to goodness therapy session. However in typical Willis fashion, it’s got to be the worst person ever suited to listen to people.

    1. Opus the Poet

      So, Dina… or Faz?

      1. TheGreatLordBagel

        In this case? I’d say Daisy.

      2. Itama

        i’m kinda hoping for mary, faz, or blane….
        i like watching my favourite characters suffer…
        i am a truly wonderful person….

        1. brionl

          Mary Faz? Is that like the opposite of a Mary Sue?

        2. Marianne

          Mary Faz: “Set phasers to Faz, baby! These charts show how many Klingon warriors I can seduce, and bend to the will of the Faz!”
          Kirk: “Ensign Faz! Please, just… think about… …this!”
          Spock: “Let her go, Captain. She is a force more terrifying than any effect our hand or ship weapons, or your hypnotic pauses, could produce.”

      3. Ian

        Galasso.

        1. Leorale

          Then she’ll never want Jimmy John’s again.

      4. Cybersnark

        Ninja Rick still hasn’t appeared. . .

        1. Mass Confusion

          Willis said he wont appear already

  21. Kernanator

    I am for real biting my nails from anxiety over the fates of fictional characters. This is what you have wrought, Willis.

    1. Yotomoe

      I just bite my nails cuz it’s the most convenient way to keep them trimmed.

      1. Kernanator

        Wouldn’t a nail clipper be better?

        1. Yotomoe

          But I carry my teeth around wherever I go.

        2. anonymous

          Wow, how organized! I’m always leaving my teeth at home. That’s why my gums bleed.

  22. thinkingofthechildren

    I live about 2 blocks outside of the delivery radius of the nearest Jimmy Johns, and it kills me…Though I probably weigh a good deal less thanks to that fact.

  23. Marc in MN

    Ahh, to be young and dramatic….and have no real notion of just how much life is in front of you beyond college.

    (Assuming, of course, that one lets life go on to its natural conclusion.)

  24. Emoroffle

    dawww. I shall now emit a squee only canines can hear.

  25. Rutee

    Alright, Billie. You actually raise a non-trivial point. It actually is kind of valid to be concerned that Ruth won’t flip a switch and change her mind again. You still expressed that valid kernel of an idea in a totally what-the-fuck way. I promise you, trying to spend literally 100% of your time with the love of your life will drive at least one of you bananas. Also, jorbs.

    1. Rosicrucian

      Eventually someone has to poop.

      1. 4th Dimension

        There are always some people that are into that.

      2. David

        So? Most bathrooms accommodate two easily.

  26. nothri

    Okay, yeah, Billie is not half as together as she seemed.

    1. Eukie

      She has issues when it comes to being lonely.

  27. Cattleprod

    I saw someone complain about not being able to see this on Twitter, and the websites have been super slow for me tonight, it took over half an hour for this or It’s Walky to finish loading. It’s usually under 30 seconds, and my connection is otherwise fine.

  28. saltchocolate

    I’m in love with this ship.

  29. beege

    These two swing from terrifyingly co-dependent to adorable and back again so fast that it’s giving me whiplash.

  30. Aolbain

    “Until the end of everything.” That sounds omnious.

  31. TheZachariah

    Wow

  32. Drakkin the Alien

    well, some guy said something about eternal love and infatuation… and which one lasted longer. 🙂

  33. Darwin

    Oh, -that- is not ominous at all. He’s upgraded to six-shadowing!

  34. Volkai

    Oh hey my current employer was mentioned in the alt-text. Cool.

    And another great comic (as per usual.)

  35. Joebo

    Don’t they know not to make sweeping declarations?

  36. Emperor Kiva

    Wow, it’s nice to see Ruth not act like a total bongo

  37. Lulu

    This will end so sad, too much happiness and undying love declaration never bode well in fiction.

    In real life, life is mostly always a bongo too.

    But hey since this is a webcomic, artist can maintain their happy time till the end of everything meaning end of DoA comic, right?

  38. Idon'tcarenomore

    Ruth does continue to foreshadow ominously.
    Billie could of course use counceling.
    Both could use AA.
    But somehow, idiot that I am, I have hope for them.

    And somewhere, Willis laughs……

  39. a4lbi

    I WAS WAITING FOR THAT TINY SPEECH BUBBLE WILLIS

  40. TheLurkerAbove

    The “never leaving” bit was literal? Man I can see why Alice called her a “Drama Hurricane”.

  41. Tofusmith

    Surely this couldn’t end badly.

  42. ninja_jesus

    Do I see a Book 5 title? “I Promise, No Matter What, Until The End of Everything.”

    1. Yatsude Hatte

      No, but I see a book 6 title, if Willis is Willis- THE END OF EVERYTHING.

  43. James Rye

    Those two need help. Like therapeutic help. Badly.

  44. Faenhir

    #teamjimmyjohns

  45. Tufto

    Nawwww.

    OK yeah that was kinda creepy.

  46. Malasdair

    I just realised what this comic reminds me of.

    http://www.ferretpress.com/weblog/uploaded_images/harry2-722166.jpg

    (Peter’s really PO’d because Norman Osborn just killed Gwen Stacy, for context.)

  47. neeks

    Yeah geez Ruth having a life is SO “yesterday”

    “I don’t care about any of that old stuff”??? Give me a break, Billie. what are you, 14?

  48. anonymous

    Might as well face it; you’re addicted to love.

  49. notlegato

    hahaha, i was expecting like, ONE more page before it got really dark with the unhealthy codependency and disregarding real problems.

    OH WELL.

  50. MrSirk

    I’m feeling for you Ruth. I can’t imagine how annoying it must be to have Dorothy, Joyce, AND Walky shoving their noses right up in there like dogs at the park.

  51. Dani Kelley

    Goddammit Ruth.

  52. Regalli

    Ah, Jimmy John’s. Savior of shut-in college students and overworked, overmeetinged college bureaucrats everywhere.

    … Billie. BILLIE. SEEK. HELP. NOW.

    … Dorothy please drag your friends (well, friend and her friend) to the counseling center YESTERDAY.

  53. Morgauxo

    Whoa! Too Fast!

  54. John

    Billie, hon, I love ya, and I ship you two as hard as anyone, but you seriously need to get a grip. “We can live in your bedroom forever!” isn’t even high school immaturity; that’s serious grade-school level dissociation from the real world.

    At least Ruth’s stepping up to take a swing at being the adult here and not still pushing you down on the playground to get your attention.

  55. Synnerman

    Okay… this is seemingly a bit suicide pacty.

    Of course it also reminds me of “Dramatic College Relationships” and none of those people died when I was in school.

  56. Cattus

    Many are criticizing Billie for behaving rather childishly. She is afraid that this, the only really good thing that has ever happened to her, will disappear like all the other good things. It’s a fair enough fear and I feel for her. Fortunately Ruth is a little more grounded (who thought that would be the case?).

  57. Bagge

    I read the subtext a bit less dramatically perhaps:

    Billie: I want you to commit to this relationship rather than swing back to hate me next time we see each other.

    Ruth: …Fine. I promise. This is for realz for now, no promises on longterm, though.

    …which isn’t that far off from conversations between Danny and Dorothy and Walkie and Dorothy, even if it is filtered through the #BILLIEandRUTHDYSFUNCTIONALDRAMA

    1. Aris Katsaris

      “until the end of everything” sounds to you like “no promises on longterm, though”?

      1. Bagge

        Oh, Ruth is still threatening suicide, I don’t deny it. I’m just saying that the conversation works on multiple levels and I believe that the subtext level about their relationship is the most important one right now. Ruth has already made her point about being suicidal, Billie has already made her point of refusing to be repelled about it. What they need to figure out right now is what to do right now.

        Look at it this way – Ruth believes that she won’t live that much longer. She has tried to push away Billie before. Here she promises not to try it again, i.e. she commits to the short-term relationship, but she warns that there might not BE a longterm to have a relationship in. It’s way more dramatic than going to Yale, but the effect on their relationship is the same.

  58. David

    Now those are two scary ladies.

  59. Pat Myers

    SEE A THERAPIST, GALS.

    1. ailorn

      I’m with you.

  60. Aaron Bourque

    Yeahhhhhhhhh, this extreme isn’t all that helpful, either.

  61. Ashley

    OMG The roof is gonna fall on them, isn’t it?
    Or, like, Ruth ACTUALLY offed herself and tomorrow’s comic is gonna be Billie waking up to go to her funeral.
    OMG WILLIS YOU’RE ENJOYING MAKING ME SUFFER AREN’T YOU

    1. Bill

      Willis has promised us — OK, maybe not *promised* but assured us — that no one dies in DoA.

      1. Itama

        kinda wish he hadn’t, actually. i’d have liked the possibility to be present in our minds.

        1. anonymous

          Or that Amber’s dad could get in a car crash…

      2. Cephalo the Pod

        He could be lying.

        I don’t wanna kick a dead horse, and I (will) respect his decision to leave DoA deathless.

        I just know that if I were writing a story and people were asking me questions regarding major future plot points (such as death), I’d:

        A) Not give an answer, insisting that it ought to be kept a secret.
        B) Lie my ass off (the funnier option, watching everyone freak out when the twist comes).

        I mean, really, do you expect an author to spoil a story for you?

      3. Lotu

        If you get left in a vegetative state that technically doesn’t count as dying now does it?

        1. Ashley

          You evil Twilight Sparkle you.

  62. Ian

    The most important question: if she wasn’t leaving, why bother putting pants on when only the girlfriend is around?

    …or is that just a reflection on my life of squalor?

  63. Tenn

    *sips on 3rd piña colada*

    *sees a single dark cloud on the horizon*

    *leans back in deck chair, stretches, yawns*

    *basks in sunlight a little bit longer*

    *finishes piña colada*

    Welp, I think that’s enough of that.

    *folds up deck chair and goes ashore to shop for life jackets*

  64. Barf Ninjason

    Wait, NO ONE is gonna make a joke about smelling Ruth’s anus? It’s like I don’t even know you anymore, Dumbing of Age Comments Section.

  65. Jiggly Jellow

    This feels like I can place this here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayLiAVJ6vTM&list=PLW30Qp73bL8xMqy-Ar_IxU90BxwUmk-JC&index=45

  66. aaron

    Paradise by the dashboard light. Anyone? Anyone? I’ll see myself out.

  67. OmegaDez

    This is satisfying.

  68. wynne

    That’s a little melodramatic, Billie.

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