216

Banana
Posted on May 1, 2025 by David M Willis

216 thoughts on “Banana”

  1. NGPZ

    the fact that students who get abstinence-only sex ed grow into young adults who have just as much sex as those who are allowed to learn about condoms really says something XD

    also, aaaawwwwweeee ^^ <3

    1. Opus the Poet

      Yes, they have just as much sex, but without any contraception.

      1. Clif

        But also with more fun and guilt. More fun because humans are wired so that being forbidden makes it better, but then more guilt to overcompensate.

        1. Adept

          I’m not at all convinced that they have more fun. I think they most likely are more anxious and have worse sexual experiences by far.

        2. Taellosse

          More kinks, really. Which aren’t “more fun” than fewer, just adding extra steps/accessories to achieve the same amount.

        3. eh, whatever

          That’s not humans in general.

    2. Steamweed

      The pro-natalists (i.e., the anti-choicers) reinforce this. They get more babies that way.

      1. Aquila

        I hate to admit it, but as a strategy to win elections, it kinda works. 😛

        1. Risky

          It depends, it tends to create a lot of Joyces and Beckys. Hence the emphasis on proselytization to compensate. Even a lot of prominent Republicans and conservative personalities were converts.

        2. Giguioto

          Joyces and Beckys are kinda what we call the cost of doing business. They know that such cases happen, so they are ready to kick ’em out asap

        3. Steamweed

          Yeah, lots of Beckys and Joyces, but also lots of Marys, Ryans, and Pauls. 🙁

    3. Psychie

      IIRC, studies have found they actually tend to have MORE sex on average. Kids can generally tell when adults are fearmongering, so they know the information they are getting is bogus and thus don’t trust it, and that leads to knowing enough to be able to make decisions, but not knowing enough to make *informed* decisions. Kids that receive comprehensive sex education have a better understanding of the risks and the actual facts and thus are more likely to come to the conclusion not to have sex in the heat of the moment. They are less likely to buy into misinformation (like blue balls being dangerous, the girl having to “take responsibility” for getting the guy excited, or various BS folk contraceptives like potatoes and strawberry jam).

      It’s the same reason DARE actually *caused* more kids to do drugs, they’d tell kids what the drugs are called and some of the reasons people do them, and then tell them a bunch of horror stories to scare them away from drugs, the kids know the horror stories are manipulative and possibly made up so they don’t trust that information, but now the names of drugs and why they might be fun are in their heads when they otherwise might not have heard of or been tempted to try crack or whatever.

      Scare tactics not only don’t work, they actively increase whatever they were trying to decrease. Telling the kids literally nothing would be better than trying to scare them away.

      1. Aus

        Under-educated people start having sex younger and have riskier sex than properly-educated people, that’s true. I don’t know if the data show that they have more sex as adults, though.

      2. Adept

        Now I have to ask. What is the potato contraceptive?

        1. JC

          Is from Latvia. Soldier come, offer potato, good deal, take daughter, make baby. But no potato. Is rock. No potato. You is starve death. No make baby. Many potato heaven. But heaven potato still is worm.

      3. Wizard

        According to the numbers, kids who get comprehensive sex ed tend to start having sex later, have fewer unintended pregnancies and fewer STDs. So basically trying to stop kids from sex by not telling them about it makes about as much sense as trying to prevent fires by not telling them how matches work.

        1. NGPZ

          but apparently that doesn’t even matter to Super Christians in the slightest

          saying that teens have sex is like saying it’s okay, abstinence says it’s not

          and if their way isn’t working, it can only ever mean that YOU aren’t trying it hard enough 9-9

          that which they call “tradition” is the actual insanity of doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result

          “The form is perfect. It looks EXACTLY the way it looked before. But it doesn’t work.”

        2. thejeff

          The important thing isn’t keeping teens from having sex or getting pregnant, it’s punishing the girls for doing so or at least making them feel guilty.

        3. NGPZ

          of course, how could I forget?

          in the framework of the religious right, policy/education isn’t there for shaping society for more ideal outcomes, but for marking off one particular way of life as The Right Way™ and judging and punishing those who deviate (9-9)

  2. shadowcell

    now THIS is podracing!

    1. Akane

      Let’s try Spinning!

      1. Clif

        Seventy something years and I never thought to try it.

        Now it would kill me.

      2. Opus the Poet

        There’s a reason small light women are called “spinners”.

        1. Sillygoose

          Light women because if you’re too heavy, with a fast spin+pressure you become a drill, obviously

  3. Dara

    “And I can’t do this alone

    Stay with me”

    wow

    the lyrics are really trying to deliver here xD

    1. Jamie

      RIGHT!? Came down here to remark on that.

      1. Clif

        The lyrics have been on topic/subtext. I expect that to continue.

        1. Thag Simmons

          I want to see if we can get a third extremely apropos Paramore song before this scene ends.

    2. Thag Simmons

      I wonder if Dorothy has anything in the playlist that isn’t like this.

  4. Animedingo

    *glances at arm*

    “Pee is stored in the balls”

    1. jonathan young

      REPORTED! (jk)

  5. Sirksome

    We’re close to Joyce suggesting Dorothy hide somewhere during.

    1. ZombieKyrik

      Now the big question: How could she get Dorothy to agree to that?

      1. V98

        Oh, it’d be dead easy. Just give her those big blue puppy-dog eyes and say she’s scared and she’d feel oh so much safer if she knew her best friend Dorothy was there for her special moment. Dorothy *loves* Joyce and already feels responsible for her safety. She would hate herself for accepting – for being a pervert, like Joe – but she could never bring herself to disappoint Joyce.

        So Joyce wears a big 10 gallon hat with a 2 way radio in it so Dorothy can tell her what to do.

        1. Sirksome

          Dorothy-“Okay, now that he’s entered, thrust your hips upward at a 45 degree angle with approximately 2-3 foot pounds of force.”
          Joyce-“What’s a foot pound?”
          Joe-“Is your hat talking?!”
          Joyce-“Shut up, Joe! I’m trying to get you off!”
          Dorothy-“Yeah, shut up, Joe! You’re ruining her first time!”

        2. Steamweed

          As amusing as this scenario might be, I can see Joyce also asking Dotty to simply _be_ there, right there, with them both. Giving advice, guidance, and instruction, step by step. I can see nothing wrong with this request. Assuredly both Dorothy and Joe will find nothing wrong with this request.

    2. Steamweed

      Roxanne with Daryl Hannah and Steve Martin.

      1. Deanatay

        I was just thinking that you shouldn’t try to Cyrano de Bergerac sex.

        1. Steamweed

          Dunno if Joyce knows the story. She seems perilously close to suggesting it. Pretty sure Dotty knows the story, and should immediately nope outta that idea.

    3. Veronica

      Joyce slowly moving towards Joe’s penis and looking over at Dorothy in the corner for a thumbs up or thumbs down.

      1. Nymph

        For some reason when I imagined Joyce slowly approaching Joe’s penis, she’s holding her hands up like Chris Pratt at the raptors in JW.

        1. Steamweed

          Joyce, the apprentice of Dina.

    4. Needfuldoer

      Joyce tries wearing an earpiece so Dorothy can feed her lines with a two-way radio. They both forget there’s nowhere to hide a radio on you when you’re naked.

      1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        Yeah, Dorothy as Joyce’s “Gal In Chair.”

      2. Wizard

        Ear bud, try to keep her hair pulled forward. It should work just long enough to create maximum awkwardness when it falls out.

  6. Doctor_Who

    At this point if neither Joyce nor Joe ends this encounter in the campus hospital I’ll consider it a roaring success.

    1. Steamweed

      Joyce PLEASE don’t spin on Joe.

    2. Reltzik

      I’d like to point out that graves don’t count as the campus hospital.

  7. Joe Moose

    ♫ You spin me right round baby right round like a record baby ♪

    1. Akane

      Like a record now!

    2. jonathan young

      vastly underrated comment right here

  8. ZombieKyrik

    Impending sense of doom rising…
    Hope it is becomes a disaster increasing…
    Need to pay for Slipshine skyrocketing…

    1. NGPZ

      It may be the NSFW Patreon 😛

      But yee either way, ready ya wallets! >;D

  9. DailyBrad

    The more the buildup, the more part of me thinks Joe is just going to tell her “not yet” and she’s going to get frustrated.

    1. Sirksome

      I counter this with the fact Joe is also very horny. Which will win out?

      1. Getsu

        I’m hoping for Joe’s continued character growth and realizing as much as she thinks she’s ready they aren’t

        1. John Campbell

          I’m hoping for Joe’s continued character growth and realizing that Joyce can say yes, too.

        2. Needfuldoer

          When an immovable character growth meets and unstoppable character growth.

        3. Sirksome

          When is someone ready if not when they desire it? There’s never gonna be a perfect time or moment for them. The baggage Joyce has will always be there. Not saying it will happen or that it has to happen with Joe or with anyone, I’m just saying if Joyce is thinking about it, wanting it, then she’s as ready as she’ll ever be. Joe and Joyce figuring out their relationship to sex and each other in the process is part of the whole being a couple thing…maybe. Everyone makes their own rules on that actually. I don’t know anything.

        4. Nymph

          I agree with this wholeheartedly. Joyce is an autonomous person who is allowed to say “yes” for herself without other people deciding for her what she’s ready for or not.

          Joe, however, might not be ready. And that’s totally fine.

        5. queenofsodor

          Unless the current conversation ends so poorly that Joyce arrives on their date a sobbing wreck, she’ll probably pass Joe’s Three Tests just fine. https://www.dumbingofage.com/casualbang/

          (although given all of joe’s hangups rn i could see him declining anyway, even though that would be backwards progression vis a vis Respecting Womens Agency compared to the linked strip lmao)

        6. thejeff

          “Joe’s Three Tests” are incredibly reductive and him declining is up to him, even if it’s about concern for his partner. That’s not backwards progression. Joe is not required to have sex if his tests are met.

    2. segnosaur

      That is a definite possibility.

      On the other hand, they have done… things… together. Remember Joyce excitedly telling Sarah “I touched a penis” after Joe made dinner for her. Or how he had no problems with her being topless in his bed.

      1. Gigafreak

        White-board dingdong-bandit is now white-load wingwong-handed

    3. Adept

      Joyce is an adult who wants to have sex. Why would it be good to deny her?

      1. thejeff

        I don’t know if it would be good or bad. Joe definitely seems to have concerns, probably tied to his own past as well as to his experience with Liz.

        I wish that he had someone to talk this through with, if only so we could get a better idea what’s going on with him.
        Or, better yet, that Joyce would actually talk to him about it, rather than just assume that since it’s Joe, he’ll be eager as soon as she is.

        1. Sirksome

          I think that Joe has people to talk to. Danny is arguably too eager to talk to Joe about his feelings. Dina has also proven to be a very reliable confidant for Joe and she even knows of his recent Liz experience. Joe has just built up a complex about actually talking to his friends about his anxieties. One he’s slowly improving on as he dates Joyce.

          I also don’t think they both need to completely unburden all their trauma to be ready to enjoy sex with each other. Most people don’t do anything completely free of baggage. Based on what we’ve read so far I think they’ll both be okay. Even if Joyce breaks down in a crygasm as Joe gets a flashback of nearly tainting Liz for life.

      2. Wizard

        Arbitrarily denying her obviously wouldn’t be good. But even if she does want it that doesn’t automatically mean she’s ready. I can very easily imagine her getting cold feet at the very last minute. Joe accepting that and settling for a little cuddling could actually strengthen their relationship, confirming that she can trust him. That extra comfort could make it easier for her to go through with it the next time.

        1. thejeff

          Cold feet at the last minute isn’t what Joe’s worried about. It’s the cold feet not kicking in until afterwards. Regrets. Feeling “ruined”.

      3. yak

        IMO the actual mental checklist we go through for whether it’s ok to have sex with someone is a lot more complicated than “are they an adult and are they giving lucid, informed, enthusiastic consent?”

        But in this case? They’re horny teenagers in love. There’s no better time.

        1. thejeff

          Plenty of horny teens in love do things they regret immediately afterwards.

          I think they’ll be fine, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable for Joe to worry about whether they will be.

        2. Yak

          I still maintain that there is no better time

  10. John Campbell

    Man, those lyrics. Those are Joyce’s lines from tomorrow’s strip, right?

    Dorothy: “Okay, okay, I’ll write what to do on your arm.” :writes:

    Joyce: :reads: “This just says ‘Dorothy’.”

    Dorothy: :eyebrows:

  11. Rectilinear Propagation

    …What does Joyce think someone means if they tell someone to “sit and spin”?

    1. Giffem

      i am nearing 40 and i have never questioned that “sit and spin” was not a literal thing until this strip

      1. Taffy

        You can say that again.

        1. Steamweed

          You gave the order, and it was followed. Chain of command for the win.

        2. Jeff K!

          That again.

    2. Giffem

      i am nearing 40 and i have never questioned that “sit and spin” was not a literal thing until this strip

      1. morleuca

        I’m just over 50 and I always assumed a sit and spin was the brightly colored plastic lady Susan kid’s toy that you sat on and spun around it’s central axis in an attempt to either break your grammy’s furniture or throw up, whichever came first.

    3. HueSatLight

      Dorothy just doesn’t know that move, she should keep asking people until she finds someone who does.

    4. Steamweed

      Dangit went to reply and hit report. Can’t undo. Sorry! 🙁

      1. Clif

        If you had replied, what would you have said?

        1. Steamweed

          Joyce likely doesn’t know what the 1974 toy “Sit and Spin” was. And likely also doesn’t know the early 1980s expression with middle finger and “sit and spin”.

  12. GreedOfGram

    Y’know, I’d like to see Joyce draw what she thinks sex is like. It’s been a journey discovering the damage her parents/community have done.

    1. Steamweed

      She did watch the Roz / Joe video. But I’m guessing she doesn’t remember it well enough. She’s just a ball of anxiety right now.

    2. Bleuryder

      I’d love it if Joyce started drawing what she thinks sex is, Dorothy corrects her, and she discovers that she doesn’t want to do a comic strip, but rather be a full time pornographic comic creator.

      1. Steamweed

        She starts a Patreon, calls it “darnyoujoyce69”. Calls the comic strip “Hankying-Pankying of Age”.

  13. BBCC

    I mean, I think Joe would be impressed by that.

    1. Dr. T

      Watch her first time involve penile fracture.

  14. Ray

    The homoerotic tension is SO thick here, for all that the conversations are like getting slapped by all three Animaniacs and then slapped by a surprise fourth Animaniac.

    1. Opus the Poet

      Their parents both died after Dot was born. There will never be another Warner sibling, at least related to the ones that got locked up in the Tower on the WB lot.

      1. Ray

        That’s why it’s a surprise!

        1. Clif

          The surprise is that it’s Tony.

      2. John Campbell

        It’s Mike.

      3. AbacusWizard

        What about Warner clones?

    2. Ray

      Other fundie girls who needed sex explained to them were usually the ones to put on Paramore and want to make out about it…they heteroconformity tradwife’d so hard. None of the lesbians I met having a dyke glow up blow up like a real man listened to things I tended to hear on the radio. It wasn’t until I got older that I realized it’s just a kind of popular band.

      There’s an extra-surreal layer here of toxic white closeted girl who wants to gay cheat reality for me. It would be distasteful otherwise. Yet I am compelled.

      1. Ray

        (Distasteful because I wasn’t about the cheating ever, or about relationships until everyone involved was ready to discuss vibrators and back support frankly like real adults.

        But the fictional drama is fun.)

      2. Taffy

        I’m not sure what you’re talking about, but I love the way you said it.

  15. darkoneko

    She’s stressiiiiing. Looks like tonight will not be the night.

    1. Taffy

      Oh, what little faith you have.

    2. Nymph

      Your first time doing anything can be stressful, especially if you want to do it well. Doesn’t mean she won’t do it.

      1. Taffy

        A little stress being a disqualifier is a really silly notion. If we let that stop us, nobody would ever play music, much less perform for an audience.

  16. Cmasta1992

    Dorothy’s leaning in a little and she BETTER NOT

    1. HueSatLight

      I think the situation would have to be a lot more chaotically charged for Dorothy to do something that impulsive.

      1. cmasta1992

        This entire scene has been Dorothy alternating between coming to terms with her crush on Joyce, flirting without flirting and supporting Joyce trying to get laid.

        There is a TON of chaotic energy already

        1. HueSatLight

          Then what I meant by “chaotic energy” is not what you imagine I meant.

  17. Acebender

    woof, the lyrics again

  18. SvenTS

    Yeah, tops are so outdated…

    Spin like a *Beyblade* on his dingdong!

    1. NGPZ

      Spinning it out!

      At the speed of sound!

      The new strip’s now up!

      Now they getting down!

      Homiez gonna bang!

      Our ship is the one who’s gonna win!

      Let’s BEYBLADE!

      BEYBLADE!

      LET ‘ER STRIP!

  19. Steamweed

    Joyce, please don’t do the spinner thing. That was in a few Ron Jeremy movies, and they went real slow, and everyone was very experienced. Don’t try to do porn or performance.

    (save that for much later)

    1. Sillygoose

      Of course she can do the spinning thing. She’s the ding dong bandit, goshdanggit!

  20. AGV/Ruby

    Do a barrel roll!

    1. Steamweed

      I am certain the alligator death roll should be nowhere near any act of fellatio or handjobbing. I am less certain about it being nowhere near intercourse. I’d have to see it in action(1) to properly adjudicate that.

      (1) for science

  21. darkoneko

    It’s really starting to feel that things will not happen tonight.

  22. Tan

    Just write in giant letters on her arm the word “COMMUNICATE”

    Like what Joe’s doing? Communicate. Don’t like what Joe’s doing? Communicate. Want something? Communicate. Uncertain what Joe wants? Communicate.

    Done, you’ve solved sex forever.

    1. Clif

      What are you trying to do? End civilization as we know it?

      1. Taffy

        Seriously. I mean, fucking spoilers, for fuck’s sake.

        1. John Campbell

          I mean, yes, that is what Joyce is looking for.

        2. Tan

          Correct, those are the exact kind of spoilers, for precisely that sake.

    2. Steamweed

      Communicate?!? Oh gods the horror why would you advocate for that???

      Communicating is how you get communicative diseases! :O

  23. classyviking

    This is probably the best strip of the comic so far. This is the first it really feels like Joyce and Dorothy are real people having a conversation and not trying to make a punchline for the audience. I really find this sweet and well written.

  24. Armadillo

    Somehow I don’t think Joe will know what to do here. Part of me definitely thinks Joe will panic and forget everything he’s ever known about sex.

  25. Derek

    Uh, my mother was fairly progressive and open and she never did a condom demonstration for me nor my sibling; probably because she knew we already had one at school.
    I wonder if this is a generational gap thing, it never even occurred to me someone’s mom could do that. Mine had several talks about sex ed and gave me some books, but there was never a hands-on presentation

    1. Doopyboop

      Agreed, my mom was very sex-positive with me (which wound up being ironic because I’m ace but anyways) and yet she never demonstrated how to put a condom on. Mainly because I think the natural assumption is the guy would be the one putting it on.

    2. Veronica

      I’ve never understood why you would even need a demonstration. They only go on one way!

      1. Cunobaros

        They have an outside and an inside, and can be put on the wrong way, which is particularly bad if they’re lubricated as that makes it likely it will come off on the first pull-back.
        Also, if it has an extra little bubble on the top to contain ejaculate, you are supposed to pinch that when you start putting the condom on, so you don’t have an air bubble there.

      2. StarfighterVicki

        Not everyone knows that you should have a little extra space at the tip, and I’ve heard of people who think it’s okay to only roll it partway down the shaft. I don’t know what else someone might not know, but I don’t think it’s a good idea to count on the reasoning skills of horny teenagers when the stakes are so high.

      3. Nymph

        Things you might not intuit:

        It needs to be the right size
        It needs to be rolled all the way down to the bottom
        You should leave a little room at the tip to prevent breakage
        If it comes off in the middle, stop and find it.
        How to check the condom for tears/breaks/pinholes after sex.
        What to do if you believe you’re allergic.

        All of that information can be included in “this is how you put on a condom” because that demonstration is a good time to explain the whole condom process/situation.

        1. Yumi

          Holding it securely to yourself afterwards because once your penis softens, it’s not going to stay in place.

          And people tend to be having a lot of other thoughts and feelings during sex– they might not be as intuitive as at other times.

        2. Uly

          Also, don’t double up – this makes it more likely to break.

        3. Steamweed

          100%

    3. Yumi

      Well, I think Joyce’s mom was mentioned as the one who would do it because Joyce was homeschooled. So Dorothy wouldn’t say, “Your school never showed you how to put one on a banana, huh?”
      That, plus it seems meant as a joke.

    4. thejeff

      I don’t remember ever having a condom demonstration? Maybe it just sort of blurred into the background haze of “things I learned somewhere during the school years.”

      It also never seemed like a particularly difficult thing to do?

      1. Astariel

        I don’t remember one either, though I think we might have watched a video about it. I do remember our health teacher stretching one over her entire forearm to demonstrate that the “I’m too big for condoms” excuse doesn’t fly.

        1. Taffy

          “I just can’t fit in this thing” Okay, guess we’re not fucking then. If you wanna get in here, you better find one that fits, DJ 5-Inch feat. Average Girth.

        2. thejeff

          “If you can’t fit in that, you’re certainly not fitting in me.”

    5. David M Willis

      joyce was homeschooled

      Dorothy knows this

      she understands Joyce’s mom was her teacher

      therefore it is a joke about how Joyce’s mom was in charge of sex ed

      1. Taffy

        That’s one interpretation of the author’s intent, but we can’t know for sure.

        1. Steamweed

          I screenshotted the David M. Willis comment plus Taffy comment. That is gold. I want to post it to Willis’s blueskeets.

  26. keet

    i really love that ‘my heart’ is playing in the background ♡

  27. Shade

    Don’t forget to use your spindash during sex.

    1. Taffy

      Joyce looks at her arm. All Dorothy wrote is “Hold Down and rapidly press A, B, or C.”

  28. darkoneko

    if halfway throught he does something you don’t get, then ASK HIM ABOUT IT goshdangit

    1. Ellegos

      And admit ignorance? The ignorance the both already are aware of?

      NEVER.

  29. The 25th

    As a Paramore fan I find Dottys music choices interesting. What do you mean “My heart it beats for only you.” ?

  30. Wisdom

    Does Joyce not realize that you’re allowed to talk in the middle of sex times?

    1. Taffy

      She doesn’t realize a lot of things about sex. That’s why she’s after the experience. Only way we learn.

    2. Sillygoose

      Not if you’re in the library though

      1. Nymph

        Then you can only communicate through intense shushing.

        1. Wisdom

          Hawt!

    3. Steamweed

      What?!? No, you can’t talk during sex!! You have to follow the lead of the sex leader. Only sing when everyone else is. Only respond when appropriate. Sit, stand, kneel, bend over, and spread when everyone does. And be sure to put a little something in the collection plate when it’s passed around.

  31. DashWallkick

    Write the answers to “what do I do to a dingdong” on the bottom of your shoe so the teacher won’t notice it.

  32. Veronica

    I’ve never understood American schools and their obsession with showing you how to put a condom on a banana. No one ever showed me how to do it but I figured it out first go because it’s the easiest possible thing to figure out.

    Then again I’ve never understood the whole “bras are impossible to take off”. First time I tried to take a break off a woman I did it one handed, first go. None of these things are complicated.

    1. Taffy

      Wait, you figured out that the rolly bit rolls the way it’s rolled? That puts you well above most of my countrymen, apparently.

      1. Big Z

        In fairness to your countrymen and mine, some brands of pre-lubricated condoms can sometimes be gunked up enough that it’s hard to tell without rolling it between your fingers a bit before you put one on.

        1. Taffy

          This is the truth. One time, I went through three of the damn things because they were rolled weird and the lube was in the way. I got so mad about it, I completely lost The Mood™ and we wound up just watching a movie.

    2. Doopyboop

      My favorite bra trick is being able to take my bra off without even removing my shirt.

    3. Josh

      Most people don’t know a couple little details, like making sure there is no air in the condom, or pinching the tip in order to make sure that is the case. There are also the poor folks who were being told “don’t” have sex that when faced with a dingdong and having to puzzle out a condom, that the panic sets in and remembering the banana helps.

      I’m just saying, let’s not just be immediately dismissive when there is some nuance around the conversation.

      On a funnier note, I failed my first encounter with a bra in the idea I went looking for the clasp in the back, and had no idea they made bras with clasps in the front. Mind blown.

      1. HueSatLight

        We weren’t shown putting a condom on a banana, and I guess I’ve been eating bananas wrong ever since.

  33. IntangibleMatter

    Joyce we’re proud of you for trying your best, but we also all know that Joe is going to be kind and patient and, in all likelihood, give you head until you don’t remember what year it is.

  34. Earl Leonard

    Is “spinner” still a slang term for a very petite lady or am I extremely old?

    1. Taffy

      Please, enlighten we spry and spregged 30-somethings in the speech of your days.

      1. AbacusWizard

        …so the important thing was that I had an onion on my belt…

        1. Nymph

          I’ll take notes.

        2. Roborat

          Well, that was the style at the time.

      2. Earl Leonard

        I have no other information but what I said, a spinner was slang for a grown up woman who was very small. I cant remember the last time I actually heard someone use said term though

  35. Suet

    She’s everything
    But he knows how to do everything

    If sex is only about knowledge, then I’d just do brain sex. Maybe with Nancy Kwan, no less.

  36. Tan

    Dear everyone complaining about why anyone would need a demonstration, I would like to remind you that when condoms are used correctly, they’re 98% effective at preventing pregnancy. But the actual real world effectiveness rate is more like 87%. Because people aren’t using them correctly.

    https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/condom/how-to-put-a-condom-on

    1. Yumi

      Yeah, I was going to say, condom failure is largely user error. Like, even if you roll it the right way (and some people might start to put it on the other way before realizing– which is part of the condom error factor if they don’t then get a new one)– people might think the condom should be tight against the head of the penis (among other possible errors). And yeah, you can just be told this, but fewer people are going to remember it that way.

    2. Les

      The steps:

      1. Check the expiry date. If it’s too old, find one that isn’t.
      2. Make sure it’s the right away around. If you put it on the wrong way, you need to find another one and start over.
      3. Pinch the tip and roll it down. You need to leave space a the tip or it might burst.
      4. Check for air bubbles and get rid of them. Air bubbles can lead to breakage.
      5. Lube.

      This isn’t rocket science or whatever, but it’s also not intuitively obvious. There was serious research trying to figure out how to make this easier to increase effectiveness in practice.

    3. Nymph

      Yeah the amount of “why would you ever need that shown to you” is wild given how many accidental pregnancies, or at least pregnancy scares are directly due to failed condoms. It’s not a bad thing to make sure everyone knows how to do something, even if it only helps one or two kids in the class not become parents when they don’t want to be.

    4. Uly

      That real world failure rate includes “usually use a condom, didn’t bother this time”.

  37. Kyulen

    Joyce was homeschooled if I remember right. Unfortunately the sex-ed you get taught in many American public schools still isn’t very good.

  38. CianM1301

    Everyone knows there’s only one correct way to do the do:
    Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A ,Start.

  39. foducool

    hanky panky session ends up at the ER

  40. Shakes

    Regarding the last panel; Willis has the Other Patreon and has been posting animations lately, soooo….

  41. Furie

    That lyric on the panel about spinning like a top is glorious.

  42. Alan in DC

    Pick what direction to spin, Joyce.
    Some men have a left hand thread

  43. Coco

    I know some parents have to do that because they are homeschooling, but Dorothy’s mother had to do that even if she wasn’t homeschooled??

    1. Nymph

      Probably not “had to” but maybe “chose to, just in case the school system’s sex-ed was lacking”.

      1. Leaf

        As someone in an abstinence-only state (Indiana), I assure you many parents “had to”.

        1. Nymph

          As someone from Florida, I promise I understand that, but was assuming the best in Dorothy’s case.

    2. Yumi

      I also don’t know that the comic is suggesting that Dorothy’s mom showed her. Dorothy is bringing it up in reference to Joyce’s education, which was homeschooling.

  44. Amós Batista

    Dorothy: “Fine. I’ll do it myself”
    *puts the Infinity Gauntlet*

  45. tesset

    God, you mean I’m not gonna be able to spin on it post bottom surgery?? Every day I get a little more disappointed with my future vag’s lack of features 🙁

    1. Nymph

      If you pay for the premium upgraded version it will spin on its own and even light up.

      1. tesset

        My doc told me she could only do pink lights due to patent restrictions, and my skin’s too much of a winter for that to look good

        Couldn’t even get the bluetooth vibration module, insurance said it was “medically unnecessary” smh

        1. Nymph

          Oh that’s such a shame. If you pay out of pocket you can get a lovely turquoise lighting and three-function vibration. My sympathies to you.

    2. Steamweed

      Problem’s less with the updated vagina models and more with the legacy penis models. They’re not structurally supported well enough; end up twisting or bending. Very bad; do not recommend; no stars.

      1. elebenty

        Yeah, reverse cowgirl is responsible for a lot of broken members. Second the no stars.

  46. Steamweed

    Panel 1: Is Joyce putting on her pants? While lying down in bed? Does that mean she finally chose a pair of panties, put them on but only them, climbed into bed wearing just the shirt and panties (ohyeahhawt!), and pants-ifying herself only after getting up in bed with Dorothy?

  47. fawndolyn

    I hate that she’s going through with this when she can’t even SAY sex, penis, or vagina (and seems to be AVOIDING saying them). At least she can say Condom, and I’m glad she even knows about protection.

    1. Taffy

      That’s a silly thing to hate.

      1. Yumi

        Also, Joyce has at least said “penis.” After giving Joe a handjob, she told Sarah, “I touched a penis!” (Since sex is said as part of the phrase “sex ed” in this strip, I could see not counting it. The penis line was very direct.)

    2. HueSatLight

      She can and does say “sex”. She also uses euphemisms, like everyone else. One could argue that using latin / clinical words instead of the common parlance is also a euphemism.

      1. Taffy

        To add to this thought, going too hard on the clinical language is just as much of a turn-off as dipping into cutesy language. Makes someone sound detached and pretentious.

  48. Juanoku

    Joyce it’s ok to not know everything, that’s why is called having experience

    1. Vulcanodon

      Many autistic people struggle with new experiences, so that might be one reason for her unease. The other is the differential between her inexperience and Joe’s experience.

  49. Schpoonman

    I’m starting to get reminders of when Mike told Amber to draw equations on her body to try to help Walky concentrate.

    1. Taffy

      I still think it would have worked.

      1. Schpoonman

        I don’t want to meet the person with whom it wouldn’t.

  50. thumb

    Joyce and Joe burst through the roof and take off like a helicopter.

    1. Schpoonman

      Joe: “This isn’t what the expression meeeeeaaaaaannnnnttt…”

  51. Amós Batista

    Jokes aside, for who is not used of sex, I totally understand Joyce here. What’s is natural for most of people, is a big issue when you were a sheltered Christian

  52. Pseudowolf

    I feel like Dorothy could just tell Joyce, “Look, people have been having sex for literally all of human existence and there’s no book of directions on it. What you need to do is communicate with Joe. Let him know what you like, what feels good and ask him to do the same. And if you or he don’t like something, communicate that, too. Figuring it out together is really the most important part.”

  53. ValdVin

    If Joyce didn’t have a history with dingdongs (both picture and word) I’d be disappointed that she didn’t have another word as neat as whoopsiepoodle.

  54. Amara

    Is it just me, or is Dorothy’s index finger disproportionately long in the first panel? Maybe the perspective is just messing with me but it seems like a full 1/3 length longer than it ought to be.

  55. HueSatLight

    It’s a day late, but I ran across -poodle in an older strip.

    1. thejeff

      I still don’t understand what Becky was talking about in that strip.

      1. Steamweed

        I can only conclude that Becky refers to either the anal or oral. Probably anal, since ‘caboodle’ is close to ‘caboose’, which is an older slang term for the butt.

        1. Yumi

          I think here “caboodle” isn’t meant to refer to a specific hole, more just “you” (or all the holes)– since caboodle can be used to refer to a bunch of something in a category/everything about something– but then you’d usually say “whole caboodle” (hehe, hole), off of the phrase “the whole kit and caboodle.”

          So I think it’s “I was trying to nudge him into noodling you,” just with some extra words for fun.

  56. PASchaefer

    Do a barrel roll!

  57. Daibhid C

    Contrary to the claims of Puppet General Hammond, spinning is not always cooler than not spinning.

  58. Freezer

    Well, we already know she’s good with the hands, so she’s got that as a failsafe.

  59. Looney

    obligatory mulan joke

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