154

Altercation
Posted on May 20, 2013 by David M Willis
Hey, guys!  Now that I'm with Hiveworks, they're gonna be testing new ads with me --  y'know, going through different ad networks, seeing what is good and what isn't.  Since there's a lot of trial and error involved, there might be some bad ads!  You know, stuff with sounds or pop-ups.  If you see anything like that, here's something you could do that would help us make sure they don't pop up again: E-mail antares@thehiveworks.com with as many of the following as you can manage:
  • the ad image
  • image URL
  • source code of the tag (right click>inspect element)
  • screenshot if possible
  • your location

154 thoughts on “Altercation”

  1. Skull025

    HATE FUCK!

    1. RaijinK

      The most epic. Every night.

    2. Resne

      Dat sass.

      1. Zoey

        Your picture is perfect.

  2. Geminia999

    See, Bowties ARE sexy!

    1. Felix Kütt

      DUH

    2. stjimmy435

      Sir, watch Matt Smith’s performances as the current Eleventh Doctor on Doctor Who. Since Matt Smith started his run, we’ve all known bow ties are symbols of sexiness, good fashion, and pure awesomeness.

    3. Nee Hou

      If Sal wears it, would it be a belle-tie?

  3. addude

    I called it.

  4. Nono

    Sal/Sarah hatesex.

    You know it’s coming.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      You mean he’s coming right? 😛

      1. ShadowWing Tronix

        If they do it right they both shou……man, I need sleep.

  5. ASmellyOgre

    At least there’s one universe where Sal can’t keep her hands off Jason.

  6. Plasma Mongoose

    …then a student walks in…

    1. Sir Robin

      Joyce, who gets a look at Sal’s glorious side book and sends her further on her downward spiral of lesbianism

      1. Portmaneau

        And then we see the world burn in a fire.

        A sexy, sexy fire.

      2. Tenn

        I demand fanart of Sal with side books! 😛

  7. Wonder Wig

    And no one will be the wiser because she went in with her hair all crazed.

    1. Yotomoe

      They’ll be confused because it’ll come out all neat.

      1. Mr. Morningstar

        That’s totally going to happen isn’t it?

        1. Zoey

          Bet she cant make an O face crazier than…….
          <<<——–THIS!!!!

  8. SUGauthor

    This seems healthy.

    1. TacosForever

      Extremely!

  9. Yotomoe

    It should also discontinue happening. But whatever!

    1. saltchocolate

      Just as Sal gets a leg up on her math grades? : )

      1. John

        I think you mean “leg over”.

        1. saltchocolate

          Yeah — or maybe even “around.”

  10. timemonkey

    You IDIOTS!

    I hope Joyce walks in on them while they’re mid-pre-marital hanky panky.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Then she becomes so traumatised that she dives face-firt into Billie’s cleavage.

      1. Yotomoe

        And Billie will allow it because she knows Joyce can’t resist anymore.

      2. timemonkey

        And Joyce will get stuck and desperately try to pull free, and Billie will just stand there all -_- while Joyce unwittingly motorboats her. And Walky will be traumatised for life.

        1. Skull025

          Suddenly, campus wide orgy.
          We’re going BYU up in this bongo.

        2. Crimson Doom

          -_- I GO to BYU, and let me assure you, the odds of it being even remotely connected to a campus-wide orgy are about the same as remote-controlled flying fish going to Mars and crushing Marvin the Martian’s skull with cyborg cupcakes.

          …you were joking, weren’t you?

        3. Saru

          The most uptight ones are always the most likely to snap. It only needs to be a group of 10 people doing it and soon the whole campus will be engulfed in a Mormon orgy of sexiness.

        4. Skull025

          You’re really defensive about this. Could it be that BYU is a secret orgy campus, designed to lure the innocent into the raunchiest of lust pits?
          Animation and Design class must be awesome.

    2. Greenygal

      At this point? Joyce might just be relieved to see that it’s a girl making out with a guy.

  11. Uniqueantique

    I knew it, no one could be that angryface at Jason in last strip, without pouncing on him. Yay.

  12. Z3tto

    Wait, the alt-text has a good point. Where the heck are all the lesbians, Willis? That’s like half the appeal of the comic.

    (the other half being laughing at Joyce of course)

    1. Yotomoe

      Laughing at joyce becoming a lesbian was where he peaked. It’s all downhill from there!

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Hve we even seen Leslie and Jason in the same place together?

        1. saltchocolate

          I see what you’re doing there. ^

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          But is it working? 😀

    2. timemonkey

      Don’t they have Gender Studies after math? So the lesbians are coming soon. We just need to be patient.

  13. iggzy

    I know I’m late, but I finally got through all of It’s Walky and Joyce and Walky, so seeing this pairing this quickly does me a lot of good.

  14. Sensedog

    This was predictable. It fits the pattern of the comic.

  15. Ragnal

    But you guys just said it never…

    Um…

    I’ll come back in, maybe, ten minutes? Hours? Whatever works best to remind you guys what you said sex siconds agI MEAN SIX SEXONDS AGO SHIT ASS MOTHER DAMN.

  16. piemanpie24

    Willis, did you think today was Saturday? This seems more like a sexy cliff-hanger comic. But hey, it’s still sexy. Just not cliff-hangery

    1. Yotomoe

      Don’t forget, because of the schedule, everythings off a few days now.

      1. J42

        And now that the “weekend” is just Sunday, we only have half a cliff to hanger anyway!

    2. AgentKeen

      Actually, if I remember right, I think Sal’s hair going ‘FOOMP’ would’ve been a Friday cliffhanger.

    3. David

      Originally, today’s strip was a Wednesday.

      Anyway, this post I’m responding to proves that nobody sure reads anything but the damn comic. Oof. Newsposts are sure a waste of my time.

      1. Skull025

        Just write Macaroni porn instead. The ones who notice won’t care and the ones who’d care won’t notice.
        Mmmmm. Cheese.

        1. David

          I should draw actual porn underneath the comic, and just have the participants shout the news I want to announce as they pound each other.

        2. Bronze Knight

          You know that just might work. You should try it.

        3. timemonkey

          Yeah, because people pay attention to dialogue in porn. XD

        4. ArkhamTexan

          Hey, am I too late? This is the pounding porn line, right?

        5. Mr. Morningstar

          Hop to it Willis!

        6. AgentKeen

          Ok, but then you have to have one of them shout “Happy Birthday Grandma” at least once.
          http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=810

        7. Mal

          But then I won’t be able to read it at work in the morning! 🙁

        8. MarcinMN

          What’s a newspost? 😉

  17. TacosForever

    They should probably close the door.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      …without locking it.

      1. TacosForever

        …Is that so Joe can slip in and join them?

        1. TacosForever

          (I will leave what he is hypothetically slipping into up to your imagination.)

        2. Yotomoe

          Who’s to say he’s not already there with some other unrelated female.

        3. TurtlyLooker

          Whenever Joe is not in the panel, always assume that he is no more than five feet outside of the panel, doing it with a random female.

        4. Andiemus

          Or two.

        5. TurtlyLooker

          … or two.

          You know what, it’s probably two.

    2. DarkoNeko

      Yes, they should.

  18. J42

    The holy grail of relationship awesomeness.

  19. Kernanator

    “It was a mistake”.

    And yet, they do it anyway.

    Oh well, It’s named “DUMBING of Age”, not “SMARTING of Age”.

    1. Yotomoe

      They certainly will smart in the morning.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        The crabs sure do hurt, that’s for certain.

        1. Neospector

          Yes, they do. With those nasty pinchers.
          They’re also not as tasty as lobsters.

  20. JBO

    I’ll let you know that me and the T.A. pound each other after each lesson in the most epic of hate fucks.

  21. DiDi

    I never understood how this type of thing happens. But I chalk that up to still being a virgin.

    There’s just so many questions, though.

    1. Foundling

      Well, first the involved parties take their clothes off…

      1. Yotomoe

        That’s when the hard part begins as you both try your hardest not to giggle.

      2. AgentKeen

        Not necessarily true, though I’m guessing Sal at least tips off his bowtie.

        1. AgentKeen

          Rips, not tips….

        2. Baroncognito

          No, she tips it off. In a moment she’s going to start shoving dollar bills into his boxers.

        3. timemonkey

          Yes, kill ALL the bowties!

        4. cookie1995

          But Bow-ties are cool!!!!!!!

        5. Kiggy

          If they’re Camaros or Corvettes, then yeah.
          Otherwise, they are boring.

        6. AgentKeen

          They are! But sassy women with poofy hair seem to not like them so much.

    2. DiDi

      Oh… you guys are sarcastic jerks.

      But whatevs.

      1. AgentKeen

        We’re jerks because we care! It’s complementary to hatefucks!

      2. begbert2

        I readily concede that I do not find the current comic’s events terribly plausible. Or any other time when both parties are acting with evident dislike or disinterest and then simultaneously toggle 180 to lust wolves and shame pits. And it’s always simultaneously, because any other timing would result in shocked angry exclamations and possibly crotch kicks. But despite the narrative necessity, it still seems really really unlikely.

        1. Makkabee

          Always simultaneous? I refer you back to the last Ruth-Billie encounter.

  22. Psycho

    I hope somebody picks up that phone…..

    BECAUSE I FUCKING CALLED IT!!!

    1. MrSmiley

      but I called it fucking…

  23. Juliecat

    THIS ISN’T LESBIANS, WILLIS!

    1. Deylan

      Everytime someone sais that I think, Watch yuh talking about willis

  24. Vi

    Thank you, Willis. <3

  25. ridtom

    So bad yet so good!

  26. Nena

    Uhoh!

  27. Skydron

    Right… this is SO going to end well…

  28. Bekah

    The other day, when I said it would be soon… well… yup… this is pretty much about how soon I thought it’d be.

  29. Zababcd

    I forgot to make a new grav for yesterday until not too long ago, and now that I’ve made it there’s a new update for today, so I’m one comic behind.

    Okay, complaining’s done. Now, something relevant… hmm.
    1. Everyone called this. Even me. Well, I was close anyway. I expected that Sal would be trying to get Jason to change her grade again when she slept with him the second time.
    2. ‘Nark’ in this context is usually spelled with a ‘k’. Actually, several dictionaries I checked with online say that ‘narc’ is a primarily North American term for a narcotics agent, official or undercover, while ‘nark’ is a British term for an informer, which is what Sal means (presumably).
    Which just shows that the dictionaries are behind the times, because ‘narc’ spelled in that way is quite often used by people from North America to mean an informer.
    3. Given how well-lit Jason and Sal are even that far from the door and the presence of the excess lighting from outside, implying that light levels have already been adjusted upward for the dim lighting, is the wall actually black?

    1. JustcallmeSoul

      in a dark room with only an external light source walls between said light source and your frame of reference would appear black, sorta in the way that people are sillouhetted, however Sal and Jason are drawn in full color and well lit from both sides so that we can see what they’re doing, because this would be boring if it were two sillouhettes… i see where the confusion came from.

      2, you are correct and the dictionaries (or at least urban ones) need updating.

      1, of course we called it, it was obvious.

    2. begbert2

      …Did you just say that nark is the usual spelling, but that nowadays narc is the usual spelling?

      1. Zababcd

        No. I said ‘nark’ is the usual spelling, and ‘narc’ is used quite often.

        1. John

          As an American, I have never, ever seen it spelled “nark”.

  30. Robert

    I guess forbidden fruit is in season this year.

  31. Em

    “I could get fired, so OBVIOUSLY we should make out in front of this open door. Also, I’m going to feel you up.”

    UM UM UM. I guess they’re perfect for each other? Both have no idea how to make healthy choices.

  32. CRtwenty

    This is a very not good thing for either Sal or Jason. But it’s still awesome.

  33. Em

    It’s terrible! But terrible is fun to watch. Also, if he DOES get booted from the program…the hate fucks will be that much more intense, but also allowed! …Yay?

  34. Vibbles

    I never sail the straight ships, but for some reason this was my absolute OTP in IW, and it is reestablishing itself in this canon wonderfully. *reclines and enjoys while it’s cute and sexy and before someone walks past that wide open door and catches Jason breaking all of the rules*

  35. Notebooked

    A straightforward hatelove-lovehate-sexual-tension-epic-of-hatefucks relationship? Huh! This feels like it’s not going to end well for either party.

  36. JoeMerl

    “Is THIS happenin’?”

    “Shagging first, thinking about consequences later!”

  37. Dragon

    That looks like a different kind of cation.

  38. Josh

    I’m pretty sure Jason just headbutted Sal.

  39. AndromedaRage

    But at what point will he find out that she’s actually amazi-girl?

    1. SUGauthor

      Do you mean when she finds out that he’s amazi girl?

      1. Josh

        Don’t you mean they both find out that Jason’s bowtie is Amazi-Girl?

  40. Ghotiheads

    And now there are three screwed up, unhealthy relationships in DoA. So ladies and gents, who do you think will be in the fourth?

  41. ilacktact

    I love it when that happens.

  42. phroggonalog

    dat eyebrow

    1. phroggonalog

      dem gloves

      1. Red Robot

        Those gloves have been bugging me for ages…Motorbike gloves tend to be bulky and stiff in order to prevent road rash. In consequence, they make fingers clumsy as heck. They would really get in the way of taking notes, using computers and mobile phones, and , indeed, they would probably prevent Sal from properly knobbing and boffing good ole Jason.
        thatsthejoke.jpg ? I just keep waiting for a lampshade to be hung on them. OTOH, those things will often have reinforced carbon fibre knuckles, so perhaps she keeps them on for face-smashing, TA dragging and RA intimidation?

  43. Potatamoto

    On a planet where we possess an information network whose primary purpose is to provide us with visual, auditory and literary information regarding sex of every conceivable variety, I claim that this is the best kind of sex there is, from a circumstantial perspective. Not in terms of character, mind you. Could be two dudes, two ladies, whatevs. Could be a nun and Axl Rose.

    The point is…two people who drive each other bugfuck going at it like frenzied monkeys in a situation where they could get caught at any moment. That, to me, is best sex.

    1. Gordon Blvd

      Amen!

  44. LeaLeonis

    I’m not usually grammar naziing, but since Jason is meant to be ultra correct about his language, this slightly bothers me… shouldn’t it be “you will no longer interact with me, nor I -with- you”? Without the “with” it just sounds wrong.

    1. Arkadi

      Thinking the same. Sounds a bit out of character for him -then again, maybe the hotness is interfering with his grammar.

      1. Robbie C

        It’s called “gapping,” and it’s grammatically correct. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gapping

        1. davidbreslin101

          Just read this and one of the articles linked to it. Because he misses out the “with,” Jason is using an extreme form of gapping call- wait for it-
          “stripping.”
          The more you learn!

        2. Robbie C

          Wow. I defy someone to come up with a more hilarious coincidence than this.

    2. Li

      Brits are more prone to the gapping, too, so it fits with that as well.

  45. Mr. Morningstar

    Hate sex is best sex apparently. Not that I would know *sob*

    1. madd

      Uhhh … sorry no one hates you?

      1. begbert2

        I’ve been getting members of the other sex to hate me for years. Oddly this hasn’t induced any of them to throw themselves at me. I just don’t understand it.

    2. vlademir1

      No. No it isn’t. It’s at least more emotion than some can manage to bring to sex otherwise, but it’s not better than any other emotionally charged sex.

  46. Animal

    Called it.

  47. Arkadi

    (Replying to the alt text) All that talk of lesbians must be turning them straight folks on.

  48. AHR

    Is this the first female character you’ve shown with curly hair? I think it might be, or at least a named one.

    1. AHR

      Oh right, Roz and Sarah and co. OK this is the first girl you’ve shown with this type of curly hair!

      1. begbert2

        Actually every time I see Curly!Sal, my brain says “What’s bandanaless Sarah doing there – oh, right.”

  49. bunivasal

    Man, I had the exact inverse of this situation happen. I was a white male student, I had a female minority TA, but she gave me good grades I didn’t earn, and also we didn’t have sex.

    Yup, inverse.

    1. davidbreslin101

      Gender-reversed mirror-universe twins get all the fun, dammit.

  50. Angel

    hmm…their relationship might not go against the rules as long as he doesn’t do her any favors in class, like giving her passing grades for failing work. Though if they spend more time together he could hypothetically have more time to tutor her

    1. vlademir1

      Most businesses and colleges that I have experience with base those decisions on perception/potential rather than reality. Even if he never provides favors any significant success/failure she has in the class will be called into question and have to looked into, and if it’s not anything that is still resources that could have gone elsewhere wasted, so to remove such waste a zero tolerance policy gets adopted.

  51. niblik

    Aw Sal, you could do so much better than this chump. 🙁

    1. Khrene Cleaver

      How is he a chump?

      He’s the only man to NOT cave in to her feminine wiles right away.
      He was the only one who DIDN’T give her the grade she wanted at the drop of a hat/trousers!
      And even in the last panel, she confronted him about and he apologize, no, he stood his ground fought her blow for blow!

      He is no chump to Sal, he is a CHALLENGE!

      1. Khrene Cleaver

        *did he apologize? No, he stood his ground fought her blow for blow!

      2. bunivasal

        BLOW FOR BLOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

  52. Crumplepunch

    Corking.

    1. Portmaneau

      Quite

  53. Krugz

    http://oi43.tinypic.com/2z53f3q.jpg By your hatesex combined, I am an amorphous face! (Am I the only one who can’t see anything but this in the last panel?)

  54. begbert2

    “Altercation” is a really odd word to choose to describe sex.

  55. Jesscheaux

    I LOVE Jason/Sal!!!! WIN/WIN <3 and I also love Hiveworks, YAY!

  56. Acidarms

    Called it

  57. Daenel

    Good.

    (Thats it,… nothing witty from me – my daily ration of this was very satisfying.)

  58. Akari

    I am incredibly pleased with this turn of events.

  59. Kay

    YES! My ship dreams of Sal and Jason have been realized! 😛

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