Apparently real
Posted on December 24, 2024 by David M Willis

117 thoughts on “Apparently real”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    “—and pants?”
    “…not always”

    1. Ana Chronistic

      requisite link: https://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-7/03-the-thing-i-was-before/bone/

      1. Decidedly Orthogonal

        Depending on the speaker, Walkerton is still wearing pants.

    2. Shakes

      Sometimes the pants are pajamas but they *look* like jeans!

    3. DJTsurugi

      frequently not actually… ~<3

  2. Doctor_Who

    Jocelyn, this morning: “I sure hope Joyce isn’t too shocked when she sees how I dress now.”

    (notices half the campus dressed as superheroes/villains)

    Jocelyn: “You know what, I don’t think it’s going to be a problem.”

    1. Thag Simmons

      It’s only three people so far. So far.

      1. Doctor_Who

        That’s like a solid third of the people she’s met. And she can’t rule out that the dinosaur hat counts too.

      2. Proxiehunter

        If she had a nickle for every person on campus she saw dressed as a superhero she would have three nickles. Which isn’t a lot but it’s enough for Mike to do your mother three times. Wait, I think I messed something up there.

        1. Drew Hargrave

          No, no, that’s correct.

        2. Uly

          Wait, I think I messed something up there.

          Yeah, it’s nickel.

        3. Opus the Poet

          That would be enough for Mike to do 3 mothers, he never does the same mother more than once.

    2. Charles Phipps

      Who do we ship Jocelyn with now? She’s attracted to men and women now so it could be much of the cast.

      I say Jason, Joe, and Incelerator.

      1. Thag Simmons

        She’s got her own friend group and social circle that we mostly aren’t privy too.

        1. Thing2

          You have a new Avatar!

        2. Thag Simmons

          I’ve used Big Jorg before, so I think technically he’s an old avatar.

        3. NGPZ

          I miss when it was Guns.

      2. Switchchris

        If your not ruling out people already in a relationship like Joe, I put my vote on Ruth and her Boy welcoming her into a poly relationship lol.

        1. Doctor_Who

          Well, it would more be Ruth informing Jason that the three of them are now in a poly relationship, I don’t think he gets a vote.

      3. ian livs

        I ship the Incelerator exclusively with a woodchipper. If he’s so shitty about cis women, there’s no way he wouldn’t be 10x worse about trans people.

        1. Charles Phipps

          Yes, Jocelyn will redeem him with the power of her love!

          Probably available on Kindle Unlimited.

        2. thejeff

          I say again, ick.

        3. Opus the Poet

          More likely with the power of Sarah’s bat. Then she’ll have to apologize for getting it messy.

        4. Reltzik

          Can I ship him with Mary? I think he might be just the man that Mary deserves.

        5. Michael Steamweed

          Look, people, don’t just shove garbage into woodchippers. The soft squishy stuff clogs up the ‘chippers’ inner parts. Ya gotta freeze the garbage first, then stick it into the ‘chipper device.

          And don’t forget frequent cleaning and maintenance!

      4. Rabid Rabbit

        Wait, is she attracted to women? All I recall is her immediate clicking with Ethan.

        1. Queen Anthai

          She said she wasn’t gay, so either she meant “as Ethan would perceive Jocelyn while she was presenting as male” or “not a lesbian”. Up to Willis to decide her sexuality, I guess!

        2. Doctor_Who

          She told Becky she’s beginning to develop such an attraction, and believes the hormones to be responsible.

        3. morleuca

          Yeah, sometimes hrt does some pretty interesting things to your libido and sexuality. Think of it more as unlocking what is already in your brain, but trapped behind all that indoctrination crap. Its like a tiny blue Yoda helping you to unlearn what you have learned

        4. Charles Phipps

          Becky: No, that’s not true. That’s IMPOSSIBLE.

          Jocelyn: Search your feelings, you know this to be true.

        5. Taffy

          Becky unlocks an attraction to Michael Fassbender, making her inconsolable for an entire day, then she spends the whole next day banging Dina over and over again to reassert her gayness. It gets weird when Dina puts on a Magneto helmet and cape for a session or three.

  3. NGPZ

    damn what Dina holding onto?

    please tell me she still got somethin to eat after that whole ordeal 🙁

    1. Dara

      Also my question.

      1. Dara

        I mean maybe it’s her cereal bowl upside down? But.

        1. Yumi

          Definitely looks like her cereal bowl. Maybe she can get a quick refill and eat it on their way?

        2. Shade

          Yeah pretty sure that’s exactly what it is.

    2. cbwroses

      It’s technically true if she’s holding onto Becky.

    3. Michael Steamweed

      I’m thinking Becky got her something.

  4. Charles Phipps

    I am truly excited about the Bulmerian protests!

    I bet we’ll get to them in six or seven months!

    1. NGPZ

      Well Jocelyn DID say they were happening “this weekend” ^^

      1. Proxiehunter

        So what I’m hearing is eight months.

      2. Bryy

        What day is this in comic? Do we know?

        1. David M Willis

          It’s Thursday

    2. Michael Steamweed

      (*puts note on my google calendar for july 2025)

  5. Cattleprod

    However Jocelyne expected this visit to go, I’m assuming learning about the fashion habits of superheroes wasn’t on the list of possibilities.

    1. Da Boy

      At least she’d have the urge to come to the protest dressed up as Captain America protesting against the war she could get some tips on how to make the outfit.

  6. darkoneko

    I hope someone cleaned the thrown cereals bowl 🙁

  7. Charles Phipps

    Prediction: Alex will be revealed to be a Bulmerian double agent and Becky will have to take on the secret information they’re carruing!

    1. Needfuldoer

      Not just one Alex, but both Alexes.

  8. darkoneko

    If you’re that surprised about Amazi-Girl, wait until you realize the Ding-dong bandit stole your dong, Joe.

  9. jeffepp

    “And, you and Joyce are also…”

    “I kinda took her V-Card. Yeah.”

  10. reed

    absolutely incredible that some characters like joe have made it this far without encountering amazigirl this whole time. what have you been doing at this school this whole time, school??

    1. Pivitor

      Especially when you consider that Joe’s best friend/roommate was dating her for a not-inconsiderable amount of time

      1. a/snow mouse/e

        He thought the “superhero girlfriend” was the new “girlfriend from Canada”.

      2. Opus the Poet

        Not only that but she shares a head with his step-sister. How could she stay hidden all winter break?

  11. Zero

    That really didn’t seem like it took that long.
    …wait, are they stealing the dishes?

    1. Taffy

      Nobody’s gonna care.

    2. John Campbell

      I’ve still got a spoon I stole from my college cafeteria by accident.

      1. Yumi

        My parents broke a dish I stole from my college cafeteria just the other day. It was not supposed to be microwaved.

        1. Schpoonman

          That’s it, into a nursing home they go.

    3. Lamppost

      I accidentally reported your comment. Sorry! ?

      1. Taffy

        I reported yours on purpose, as a form of twisted courtship for my demonic fiancee Maligore.

        1. Jeremiah

          Ugh, Maligore is a douche, you could do so much better.

        2. Taffy

          Sometimes we make compromises, especially when he’s 50ft tall with crab claw hands.

        3. Jeremiah

          To be honest I didn’t know Maligore was a real thing, I thought it was a generic demon name you made up.

  12. BBCC

    It’s called a job uniform, you two!

    1. HueSatLight

      His job is getting gut punched.

      1. thejeff

        Someone has to provide the justification for Amazi-Girl handing out a beating.

  13. IntangibleMatter

    Oh boy, Jocelyne and Dorothy time! Two no-nonsense characters!

    …oh who am I kidding they’re going to have some next-level nonsense shortly

    1. Deanatay

      Yeah, Carla will be inexorably drawn in, the pranks will be legendary.

  14. John Campbell

    Wait, Dorothy doesn’t have the ibuprofen on her? I am disappoint.

    1. Miri

      She has not yet reached the stage of life where she has a handbag which has everything on her at most times.

      However given that she is evidently a fast, competent seamstress who can work with difficult fabrics, having multiple pockets including an insulated, temperature-regulated pouch for painkillers, wouldn’t be beyond her. But could potentially add a 5-10 minutes of transferring stuff over every outfit change that she couldn’t have afforded herself…

    2. ValdVin

      She doesn’t have a superhero’s utility belt. Yet.

  15. PedanticJerkass

    You got held up by Amazi-Girl, Joe? Not that other guy?

    1. Taffy

      What other guy? Amazi-Girl just popped in for a bit to show off her new look and then she left.

    2. Miri

      It does make it sound like Amazigirl mugged them, doesn’t it?!

  16. Thing2

    Jocelyn hasn’t even had time to eat whatever is in her mouth…

    1. Needfuldoer

      She pops another fry into her mouth between every panel.

  17. Groove

    Wherever there is danger she’ll be there.

    1. Daibhid C

      When there’s trouble, see,
      You call up A-G.

  18. nobodybasically

    Huh, I hadn’t realized Joe hasn’t seen Amazi-Girl before.

  19. Kaffeeteria

    I’m a bit disappointed that Dina didn’t get to destroy that idiot AND lost her breakfast.

    1. Charles Phipps

      Night-Guy saved a life that day.

      Incelerator never realized it was his.

  20. Da Boy

    Jocelyne trying to figure out the civilian to superhero ratio in the group XD

  21. Kyulen

    Like Jocelyne, I’m pretty sure I never saw any of my fellow students going around dressed up as superheroes or supervillains when I was in college, outside of maybe a few at Halloween. And certainly never any of them seriously fighting each other as costumed heroes or villains.

    1. Daibhid C

      The “campus superhero” seems to be a thing in college webcomics (by which I mean I have read two college-set webcomics, and the other one had one as well. If EGS ever manages to get its cast into college, I’ll be three for three.) I don’t know of any real life examples, although I’m not prepared to say that anything is so ridiculous a college student hasn’t done it at some point.

      1. Matthew Davis

        Ah, Smithson. I really liked that comic.

        1. Jeremiah

          What is that?

    2. Charles Phipps

      Due to the sliding timeline, this obviously takes place when it becomes normalized in our society.

    3. yak

      There was a guy at my college that dressed up like it was 1850 and walked around the woods. I saw him several times up there (I was a woods cryptid too). I was never able to convince any of the normals that the Fancy Man existed.

      1. Needfuldoer

        He defeated the Awkward Zone. :O

  22. Shyandya

    How does Jocelyne know Walky is Dorothy’s boyfriend? And are they even a confirmed couple at the moment?

    1. anonymsly

      They were dating when Jocelyne met them the first time, and just now Dorothy was fine with him going through her stuff while she’s not there. ‘They’re still together’ isn’t the worst conclusion she could have drawn.

      1. Da Boy

        And Dotty was pretty hands-on when checking if Walky was okay

        1. CidGregor

          I for one think it’s hilarious that as far as Joss is concerned it has been a seamless, unbroken line with no deviations to dating multiple other people whatsoever.

          Alternatively Joyce could have occasionally updated her in casual conversation offscreen, but that’s the boring, unfunny answer.

        2. Akane

          And yet, I’m certain Jocelyn notices something going on between Dorothy and Joyce.

  23. Mr D

    Say, what triggers the “This comment is awaiting mdoeration” thing?

    1. CidGregor

      Was just looking at the FAQ for that myself, apparently changing your listed email or posting from a different IP address than usual can trigger it.

    2. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      Fast neutrons.

    3. HueSatLight

      If it’s a new email address. If you’ve got too many links, even links to DoA strips (the cap is 2 or 3). Maybe if you do too many comments within a certain amount of time. If you type out the word, that if uttered would cause the universe to tear itself into countless pieces (word in next post):

      1. Nymph

        Don’t you dare type that word again after I worked so hard to tape the universe back together.

    4. Taffy

      You’re probably typing too many slurs.

      1. Bryy

        I was drinking water when reading this comment.

        How dare.

      2. Bruno

        Or not enough.

        1. Taffy

          Just typing “weird cisgender terf Karen” over and over again to own the libs

        2. Da Boy

          I think Karen is too ideologically neutral

  24. Woop de doop

    How often does Dorothy take ibuprofen that she has it on her desk?

    1. Jeremiah

      Not often, but it never hurts to be prepared!

      1. Roborat

        And if it does hurt, hey, you already have ibuprofen.

    2. ZerglingOne

      *looks left at bottle of ibuprofen on desk*

      I only take it once in a while…but when you’re in pain, it’s good to know it’s right there.

    3. Needfuldoer

      It’s bandages for your insides!

  25. Bryy

    Happy holidays and merry christmas eve, everyone!

    1. NGPZ

      and a happy Saturnalia and Sol Rebirth to you too

  26. Callid13

    Hmm, I’m not sure Joe really should be surprised Amazi-Girl is real. After all, he seemed to think she was real before, and even ranked her a “nine”, and noting “anyone who dresses like THAT clearly has issues”.

    https://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/04-the-whiteboard-dong-bandit/skim-2/

    1. Regret

      Ah yes, because ranking doableness of fictional characters has never happened.

    2. Needfuldoer

      But does he realize she’s his stepsister?

  27. Kyrik Michalowski

    Well that could have gone much worse.

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