When I first began dating my boyfriend, we were long distance. His home life hadn’t exactly been a pretty picture and he had been through a very manipulative relationship prior to meeting me (the guy he was with belittled him at every turn- privately and in front of others, accused him of coming out for attention, refused to acknowledge it as a relationship, had sex with him anyway, used sex as a power play, and didn’t stop when asked.) He was depressed and suicidal, he struggled to get out of bed daily with a physically and emotionally abusive family, and he had been abandoned by countless friends.
I was his first long-term solace in life – and every single day he believed he was going to lose me. It was like something in the back of his head was keeping a tally of every little action of mine, every discussion, the feel of every conversation. When he would feel vulnerable, his mind would turn these scrupulous observations on him like rabid dogs, tearing him down and telling him to get it over with and end it all before he hurt me. He would be inconsolable. Maybe it was that I didn’t text or call the same way I usually did. Maybe sometimes his parents would just get under his skin, and he was tired of fighting.
He was never, ever abusive. He never was controlling. He tried so hard to make it bearable for me. He has always been a darling, and a fighter. He treats me like royalty and we have made a fantastic team. We’ve seen eachother at our lowest, and we’re at our best today because of it.
But those nights were always the worst. Everything was going to be okay, up until we would hang up. Without anything to distract him, he was completely at the mercy of his imagination.
It was in no way easy or quick. Me coming along didn’t change the fact that every other thing in his life was still the way it was, and I could only divert his attention away from that for so long. The best thing he could hope from me was to stay on the line with him, listen, convince, and just generally be as doting as I could possibly be over the phone until the whole episode burnt itself out, usually by him losing the brain power to even be able to feel crushing apathy. Those were some of the good instances.
Sometimes it took great effort not to scream. It was like he didn’t want all these things I was telling him to be true, and he could come off as though he’d be willing to use a misstep, any mistake, just a poor choice of word to say, “see, you said something that agrees with me, now I’m further down the rabbit hole. Whoop de doo, I dare you to try and dig me out.” He hated himself so much, I often forget this. At the time it was hard not to think that he may have hated me for loving him.
I think he believes now that he was exacerbating whatever feeling he could get his hands on; whether he felt loathsome or ecstatic, it was always so fuzzy for him, and feelings never seemed important or like they ever left behind any impression. Even when he was infatuated with me and all his problems felt solved, he’d be unable to connect with that feeling by the next hour. Hating himself as hard as possible was usually the easiest thing to get lost in, and so he clung to it desperately in almost a drunken fashion, just as a form of stimulation to remind himself that he could exist. I can only imagine he felt terribly helpless and alone hearing me so clearly distressed by the things he’d say just to stay afloat.
The moment things really felt like they shifted was when he quit his antidepressants and anti anxiety medication, cold turkey. (before I go any further: DO NOT DO THAT UNLESS YOUR DOCTOR TELLS YOU TO.)
I don’t (and can’t) really know what this precisely did to him, but I found one evening that he was suddenly poised, collected, and seemed to have every one of his wits about him– all out of the blue. I marveled over this treasured moment of stability, and it felt like I was finally seeing him down to his soul. There was no fatigue in his voice. He was prompt in responding to what I said and wasn’t forgetful in the slightest. There was a vitality to him that floored me; I was seeing a glimpse at what was under that ever-present, colossal sea of pain, perhaps the clearest view I had ever witnessed up until that point. To me, I think it was the first time in a long while that he felt like his own mind even existed.
It didn’t last that way, and in fact his pain would periodically hit him even harder than before. But we soon found that he’d have another few hours of relief each time. The rift between ‘apathetic haze’ and ‘jovial and alive’ was growing. A few measly hours of reprieve would stretch into a couple of days where he really felt like he could cope. The change in the overall atmosphere surrounding him was incredibly welcome, and was gratifying in itself. We cherished every single day of progress.
He did stop being suicidally depressed, but he did then move on to debilitating anxiety. I think this was because suddenly his pain was real all the time. We eventually cleared that hurdle too, but his journey out of mental illness has been like bouncing around a pinball machine. Regardless, the improvement most definitely shows! I really almost don’t recognize him from when we started, and I’m just so proud. He’s even been able to start working on his eating disorder, and he’s also working up the courage to start job hunting!
It’s been over two years since we started our journey, and I’m afraid the complete list of all the ways he and I have changed over time is too great to recall all at once. Least of all can I expect myself to recite every goal that kept him going a little longer, or every day spent that made him feel just a little bit better about the big picture. But I think I can say what gave him the most power through all that was that he had a reason to see each of those days through – someone to tell him good job, we had fun today; let’s make the next one even better, or it’s ok, we’ll power through this until tomorrow. I’ll be with you, just keep your chin up – I’m not going anywhere.
In much fewer words, I think it helped immensely that he had someone 100% in his corner for the first time in his life; he had someone with whom he could trust his deepest thoughts, and that alone was golden. And aside from having someone to build him up, his woes actually had a place to go. The two changes together slowly helped give purpose to fixing all the little things, one at a time.
R2D2
It’s really, really brave of both of you to share this story. Thank you.
Shariku
I’m glad the two of you have been able to work through. I’m reading all this and i relate to all of it. My girlfriend has been in a very similar situation for the past few years, coming from a lifetime of pressure. She’s still having her bad days, but she’s making her own progress, and has just recently started a new job that seems to be perking her up day by day.
For a long time it feels like i’ve been her only source of solace, with many nights having her be drunk, full of self loathing and an insistence that i’m the only one who’s there for her but she wouldn’t blame me for a second if i left, so it’s making me happy to hear her say she’s meeting up with people after work for coffee.
Congrats to the two of you. It sounds like you deserve it.
Felian
Thank you for sharing this. And thanks for being such a strong ally and partner. Even if it’s hard for him to feel that way – he deserves to have someone like you, finally (most survivors don’t get to meet that kind of person although they all deserve and need it so much). This gives hope 🙂
Have you shared it anywhere else? http://themighty.com/ comes to mind. It’s always great to hear that there’s progress. To hear “it gets better“ from other people who are struggling.
Inahc
“when he quit his antidepressants and anti anxiety medication, cold turkey. (before I go any further: DO NOT DO THAT UNLESS YOUR DOCTOR TELLS YOU TO.)”
I’d say don’t do that period. if your doctor tells you to quit an antidepressant cold turkey, you need a better doctor. 😛
“He did stop being suicidally depressed, but he did then move on to debilitating anxiety.”
hah, yeah, been there… actually, I guess I’m there again atm, thanks to medication withdrawal. I’m bouncing between being too far away from myself to talk to people, and too flooded with bizarre rage to respond when they try to talk to me. 🙁
“In much fewer words, I think it helped immensely that he had someone 100% in his corner for the first time in his life”
hell yeah. well, my husband wasn’t strictly the first, but he’s been there for me through so much, and tbh it still feels a little weird to have someone who’ll still love me even if I do something stupid… someone whose idea of love is supportive, not controlling…
I’m so glad to hear you guys made it work. It sounds like you are both a lot stronger now. I feel like our society does not do a great job preparing us for providing mental health support in relationships. Whatever you did, I’m glad it helped him!
Poor guy having to deal with all that, and the damage it wrought. Strong, brave, courageous, considerate guy for moving past all that to a better place, for not letting the insecurity he felt manifest in unfair and unpleasant behaviour towards you…
He sounds like an amazing bloke and I bet you two are an awesome couple 😀
much like the Leafs, things seem to be going well for Ruth, and yet much like the Leafs, we all know it’s going to plunge into darkness and despair soon enough
The title of the next storyline has already been revealed on Willis’s twitter. The lyrics of the song it’s from…are not particularly hopeful in the context of Ruth and Billie’s relationship.
Although, as with “That Perfect Girl” (inter alia), I’m sure there are several relationships that the lyrics will apply to in one way or another.
I mean frankly I’m happy about that. They were never perfect. This will either fix them or break them up. Hoping a break up doesn’t trigger a downward spiral, but they both need some space.
Do you think Billie is pushing her away?? I feel like it’s way way way way too short of a timespan for Billie to ever start doing that. She knows Ruth’s in a delicate spot, and with the current emotional climate I don’t think she’d even be capable of going all cold on her like that.
Accidentally juggle her appearance at Foster Quad more than give Ruth attention? That could happen, and it would suck – and also cause a lot of pointless pain. But they are newly together, we must remember. It’s likely, and would be shitty, but it’s not anything insurmountable.
But pushing Ruth away entirely, bit by bit, without any motive? I really don’t think so. It would just feel very sorely out of character for Billie right now.
Okay, I’m already on the verge of the feels about today’s strip. Who else didn’t need to be reminded that they told each other “I love you” four days ago, in-universe?
Why maybe, alt-text? I am now worried for, in order from most seriously to least seriously: David Willis, the Earth itself, and the personification of alt-textness.
No, Billie, I don’t think that Ruth will be ‘all right’. However, that said, I think that this is something that she wants and needs to face if she has any serious intention of being independently functional.
This is not the end of the relationship, this is the end of the unhealthy codependency, at least on Billie’s end. I don’t think she’ll abandon Ruth, but… yeah, she’s not going to be her entire world anymore.
THIS IS A GOOD THING though and can in no way be described as fucking up :\
Billie has found Her Crowd, this has to be an immense relief. I don’t think she’ll abandon her relationship, but the codependency is going to crumble away. That’s a good thing.
No idea. I could see Ruth jumping to that conclusion, that ‘oh, this is the start of being pushed away, okay’ because low self-esteem is irrational and tells you things like that.
But this doesn’t mean anything from Billie’s side… yet. If she becomes too immersed in her group, she may start to neglect their relationship, which would be an actual problem, but for now this is just Ruth expecting the worst because her imagination is haunting her.
I’d venture it’s because she’s not staying over so the dormers won’t think she hates them, but because their basically worshipping her. Seeing as Ruth is JUST out of suicide watch, it comes across as bit self-absorbed.
Yeah, what JBento said. I think that’s why some people are worried. At least, that’s kinda why I’m a little worried…? :C
I mean, I do think it’s far too early to tell exactly what’s going on in Billie’s mind yet – she just moved there TODAY in comic time OMG. She’s probably a jumble of mixed emotions right now, and that’ll take some time for us readers to untangle! So I think people jumping straight to blaming her for stuff are maaaybe jumping the gun a bit?
But yeah, as someone who’s been severely depressed (to the point of frequent suicidal ideation), I’m super worried for Ruth, not gonna lie. I don’t think Billie is doing anything WRONG, per se, and I would definitely like to see them work through their extreme co-dependency issues. But… Ruth is only just starting to work through her issues and is in a weird mental space right now (what with the whole “REDEMPTION IS IMPOSSIBLE” speech and a certain abusive relative showing up). So I swear I don’t mean this as an insult to Billie, but I can’t help but worry that Billie’s actions at the moment aren’t exactly… helping that? ;~;
But again, it’s not that I think there was a binary choice and Billie chose the WRONG option, it’s just. Complicated.
thejeff
It does suggest that it’s not going to be as simple as “officially move over there, but basically keep living in Ruth’s room”, which was kind of the original plan.
86 thoughts on “Nearby”
CandidCanid
🙁
When I first began dating my boyfriend, we were long distance. His home life hadn’t exactly been a pretty picture and he had been through a very manipulative relationship prior to meeting me (the guy he was with belittled him at every turn- privately and in front of others, accused him of coming out for attention, refused to acknowledge it as a relationship, had sex with him anyway, used sex as a power play, and didn’t stop when asked.) He was depressed and suicidal, he struggled to get out of bed daily with a physically and emotionally abusive family, and he had been abandoned by countless friends.
I was his first long-term solace in life – and every single day he believed he was going to lose me. It was like something in the back of his head was keeping a tally of every little action of mine, every discussion, the feel of every conversation. When he would feel vulnerable, his mind would turn these scrupulous observations on him like rabid dogs, tearing him down and telling him to get it over with and end it all before he hurt me. He would be inconsolable. Maybe it was that I didn’t text or call the same way I usually did. Maybe sometimes his parents would just get under his skin, and he was tired of fighting.
He was never, ever abusive. He never was controlling. He tried so hard to make it bearable for me. He has always been a darling, and a fighter. He treats me like royalty and we have made a fantastic team. We’ve seen eachother at our lowest, and we’re at our best today because of it.
But those nights were always the worst. Everything was going to be okay, up until we would hang up. Without anything to distract him, he was completely at the mercy of his imagination.
Hoodiecrow
I’m glad you made it past that. It’s a horrible place to be.
Leorale
Hwoof, that was well expressed, and sounds mentally brutal. How did he gain power over those inner demons?
CandidCanid
It was in no way easy or quick. Me coming along didn’t change the fact that every other thing in his life was still the way it was, and I could only divert his attention away from that for so long. The best thing he could hope from me was to stay on the line with him, listen, convince, and just generally be as doting as I could possibly be over the phone until the whole episode burnt itself out, usually by him losing the brain power to even be able to feel crushing apathy. Those were some of the good instances.
Sometimes it took great effort not to scream. It was like he didn’t want all these things I was telling him to be true, and he could come off as though he’d be willing to use a misstep, any mistake, just a poor choice of word to say, “see, you said something that agrees with me, now I’m further down the rabbit hole. Whoop de doo, I dare you to try and dig me out.” He hated himself so much, I often forget this. At the time it was hard not to think that he may have hated me for loving him.
I think he believes now that he was exacerbating whatever feeling he could get his hands on; whether he felt loathsome or ecstatic, it was always so fuzzy for him, and feelings never seemed important or like they ever left behind any impression. Even when he was infatuated with me and all his problems felt solved, he’d be unable to connect with that feeling by the next hour. Hating himself as hard as possible was usually the easiest thing to get lost in, and so he clung to it desperately in almost a drunken fashion, just as a form of stimulation to remind himself that he could exist. I can only imagine he felt terribly helpless and alone hearing me so clearly distressed by the things he’d say just to stay afloat.
The moment things really felt like they shifted was when he quit his antidepressants and anti anxiety medication, cold turkey. (before I go any further: DO NOT DO THAT UNLESS YOUR DOCTOR TELLS YOU TO.)
I don’t (and can’t) really know what this precisely did to him, but I found one evening that he was suddenly poised, collected, and seemed to have every one of his wits about him– all out of the blue. I marveled over this treasured moment of stability, and it felt like I was finally seeing him down to his soul. There was no fatigue in his voice. He was prompt in responding to what I said and wasn’t forgetful in the slightest. There was a vitality to him that floored me; I was seeing a glimpse at what was under that ever-present, colossal sea of pain, perhaps the clearest view I had ever witnessed up until that point. To me, I think it was the first time in a long while that he felt like his own mind even existed.
It didn’t last that way, and in fact his pain would periodically hit him even harder than before. But we soon found that he’d have another few hours of relief each time. The rift between ‘apathetic haze’ and ‘jovial and alive’ was growing. A few measly hours of reprieve would stretch into a couple of days where he really felt like he could cope. The change in the overall atmosphere surrounding him was incredibly welcome, and was gratifying in itself. We cherished every single day of progress.
He did stop being suicidally depressed, but he did then move on to debilitating anxiety. I think this was because suddenly his pain was real all the time. We eventually cleared that hurdle too, but his journey out of mental illness has been like bouncing around a pinball machine. Regardless, the improvement most definitely shows! I really almost don’t recognize him from when we started, and I’m just so proud. He’s even been able to start working on his eating disorder, and he’s also working up the courage to start job hunting!
It’s been over two years since we started our journey, and I’m afraid the complete list of all the ways he and I have changed over time is too great to recall all at once. Least of all can I expect myself to recite every goal that kept him going a little longer, or every day spent that made him feel just a little bit better about the big picture. But I think I can say what gave him the most power through all that was that he had a reason to see each of those days through – someone to tell him good job, we had fun today; let’s make the next one even better, or it’s ok, we’ll power through this until tomorrow. I’ll be with you, just keep your chin up – I’m not going anywhere.
In much fewer words, I think it helped immensely that he had someone 100% in his corner for the first time in his life; he had someone with whom he could trust his deepest thoughts, and that alone was golden. And aside from having someone to build him up, his woes actually had a place to go. The two changes together slowly helped give purpose to fixing all the little things, one at a time.
R2D2
It’s really, really brave of both of you to share this story. Thank you.
Shariku
I’m glad the two of you have been able to work through. I’m reading all this and i relate to all of it. My girlfriend has been in a very similar situation for the past few years, coming from a lifetime of pressure. She’s still having her bad days, but she’s making her own progress, and has just recently started a new job that seems to be perking her up day by day.
For a long time it feels like i’ve been her only source of solace, with many nights having her be drunk, full of self loathing and an insistence that i’m the only one who’s there for her but she wouldn’t blame me for a second if i left, so it’s making me happy to hear her say she’s meeting up with people after work for coffee.
Congrats to the two of you. It sounds like you deserve it.
Felian
Thank you for sharing this. And thanks for being such a strong ally and partner. Even if it’s hard for him to feel that way – he deserves to have someone like you, finally (most survivors don’t get to meet that kind of person although they all deserve and need it so much). This gives hope 🙂
Have you shared it anywhere else?
http://themighty.com/ comes to mind. It’s always great to hear that there’s progress. To hear “it gets better“ from other people who are struggling.
Inahc
“when he quit his antidepressants and anti anxiety medication, cold turkey. (before I go any further: DO NOT DO THAT UNLESS YOUR DOCTOR TELLS YOU TO.)”
I’d say don’t do that period. if your doctor tells you to quit an antidepressant cold turkey, you need a better doctor. 😛
“He did stop being suicidally depressed, but he did then move on to debilitating anxiety.”
hah, yeah, been there… actually, I guess I’m there again atm, thanks to medication withdrawal. I’m bouncing between being too far away from myself to talk to people, and too flooded with bizarre rage to respond when they try to talk to me. 🙁
“In much fewer words, I think it helped immensely that he had someone 100% in his corner for the first time in his life”
hell yeah. well, my husband wasn’t strictly the first, but he’s been there for me through so much, and tbh it still feels a little weird to have someone who’ll still love me even if I do something stupid… someone whose idea of love is supportive, not controlling…
Kinoko
I’m so glad to hear you guys made it work. It sounds like you are both a lot stronger now. I feel like our society does not do a great job preparing us for providing mental health support in relationships. Whatever you did, I’m glad it helped him!
Miri
Poor guy having to deal with all that, and the damage it wrought. Strong, brave, courageous, considerate guy for moving past all that to a better place, for not letting the insecurity he felt manifest in unfair and unpleasant behaviour towards you…
He sounds like an amazing bloke and I bet you two are an awesome couple 😀
Sam
Thank you for sharing. It sounds like he has been through a lot but it is good he is doing better.
Ana Chronistic
“well shit, I was GONNA be =C ”
(actually that face could easily be “k w/e”)
CandidCanid
For real, it sometimes feels like someone ruined your night by asking. Damn it, I wasn’t thinking about that!
Reltzik
You can tell Ruth’s feeling bad in the last panel because her gaze drifts towards the Leafs poster.
Dean
Life as a Leafs fan has taught Ruth to associate disappointment with hockey.
shadowcell
much like the Leafs, things seem to be going well for Ruth, and yet much like the Leafs, we all know it’s going to plunge into darkness and despair soon enough
Blackbird
Third best team in the NHL right now. It probably won’t last, but it’s a good time to be a Torontonian.
Roborat
Yea, and your football team somehow managed to win as well.
Stephen Bierce
*plays Journey’s “I’ll Be All Right Without You” on the hacked Muzak*
JessWitt
I’m hearing “So Far Away” in my head.
Liquid Len
Thanks for the earworm! 😛
Stephen Bierce
Carole King or Dire Straits?
JessWitt
Carole King
Lapin
And everything Ruth feared would happen with this move begins.
Marsh Maryrose
The title of the next storyline has already been revealed on Willis’s twitter. The lyrics of the song it’s from…are not particularly hopeful in the context of Ruth and Billie’s relationship.
Although, as with “That Perfect Girl” (inter alia), I’m sure there are several relationships that the lyrics will apply to in one way or another.
geno
I mean frankly I’m happy about that. They were never perfect. This will either fix them or break them up. Hoping a break up doesn’t trigger a downward spiral, but they both need some space.
Passchendaele
well, um, those pages aren’t going to highlight themselves.
(the imagination is a cruel bastard sometimes)
Passchendaele
(god I’ve had so many panic attacks that started out with something like this)
Keulen
Billie hasn’t told the Forest girls that she’s still with Ruth, has she?
MatthewTheLucky
Well, she bragged about banging her, so I doubt she’d have a problem with them knowing they’re still together.
Woobie
Maybe?!
MatthewTheLucky
The spectre of trucks is ever-looming.
Lieutenant Dan
Many miles away
Someone climbs into the driver’s seat
Of a dark Indianan truck…
Mad_Academic
Billie, if you do what I think you’re doing I will never forgive you.
CandidCanid
Do you think Billie is pushing her away?? I feel like it’s way way way way too short of a timespan for Billie to ever start doing that. She knows Ruth’s in a delicate spot, and with the current emotional climate I don’t think she’d even be capable of going all cold on her like that.
Accidentally juggle her appearance at Foster Quad more than give Ruth attention? That could happen, and it would suck – and also cause a lot of pointless pain. But they are newly together, we must remember. It’s likely, and would be shitty, but it’s not anything insurmountable.
But pushing Ruth away entirely, bit by bit, without any motive? I really don’t think so. It would just feel very sorely out of character for Billie right now.
Skater Girl
And with that I’m sad now. Thanks, Willis.
mister gray
ruth gonna spend the night at her place………..isn’t she?
DarkoNeko
Billie sent a photo of her cheerleading, which Ruthless is using as avatar eh.
David M Willis
??
DarkoNeko
oh my bad, apparently the avatar is stored on the sender’s phone (billie), not locally ^^;
Jupiterror
no, ruth is clearly the leafs avatar??
Kinoko
Billie’s own avatar for herself is her cheerleading. We’ve seen the same one when she’s texted Joyce in the past, I believe?
Kinoko
Right here: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-7/03-the-thing-i-was-before/fuckoff/
ValdVin
Okay, I’m already on the verge of the feels about today’s strip. Who else didn’t need to be reminded that they told each other “I love you” four days ago, in-universe?
@zombieundergrnd
Now she really knows what its like to be a Leafs fan.
Chronos
But she’s known disappointment all her life; I’m sure she knows what it’s like for longer than just now.
Reltzik
And yet, somehow, her disappointment manages to grow even larger with every passing year.
ValdVin
Spousal Ms ValdVin doesn’t follow sport much, but when I mentioned this thread to her she said,
“Isn’t that covered under Being a Leafs fan?“
Bagge
Someone is sad i bed. That’s how you know a day comes to its end.
Sunny
Dina was happy, though.
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/04-walking-with-dina/noddin/
Bagge
OMG THAT’S THE SWEETEST THING IT’S SO CUTE I’M JUST GONNA AARGNGLLF
Antonio
Vh-1 Behind the Dorms narrator: IT WAS, IN FACT, A BIG DEAL.
Tenchan
No Ruth! Stay away from alcohol!
caesaria82
Stay strong, Ruth. You got this <3
HeatherJean
How bad are Ruth’s abandonment issues? Enough to drag her back to the bottle?
RacingTurtle
“storyline over, see you tomorrow, maybe”
Why maybe, alt-text? I am now worried for, in order from most seriously to least seriously: David Willis, the Earth itself, and the personification of alt-textness.
BenRG
Maybe the next chapter has a time-skip and it won’t be ‘tomorrow’, in-universe?
HMRC4EVR
Primus help us if the alt-text teams up with Vangelus’s subtitles to-date I say it-try and take over the world!
Danni
are they going to break up? i really hope not!
BenRG
No, Billie, I don’t think that Ruth will be ‘all right’. However, that said, I think that this is something that she wants and needs to face if she has any serious intention of being independently functional.
Deanatay
It’s fine. I’m sure she’s just thinking about alcohol.
Tyramisu
and thus begins the end of Ruth/Billie. Her grandfather wins again. And Billie fucks up yet again.
Liliet
This is not the end of the relationship, this is the end of the unhealthy codependency, at least on Billie’s end. I don’t think she’ll abandon Ruth, but… yeah, she’s not going to be her entire world anymore.
THIS IS A GOOD THING though and can in no way be described as fucking up :\
Liliet
Ruth can I hug you
Billie has found Her Crowd, this has to be an immense relief. I don’t think she’ll abandon her relationship, but the codependency is going to crumble away. That’s a good thing.
Lena
Why are people jumping to Billie abandoning Ruth just cause she’s sleeping in her new dorm the first night???
Sam
No idea. I could see Ruth jumping to that conclusion, that ‘oh, this is the start of being pushed away, okay’ because low self-esteem is irrational and tells you things like that.
But this doesn’t mean anything from Billie’s side… yet. If she becomes too immersed in her group, she may start to neglect their relationship, which would be an actual problem, but for now this is just Ruth expecting the worst because her imagination is haunting her.
JBento
I’d venture it’s because she’s not staying over so the dormers won’t think she hates them, but because their basically worshipping her. Seeing as Ruth is JUST out of suicide watch, it comes across as bit self-absorbed.
Doki
Yeah, what JBento said. I think that’s why some people are worried. At least, that’s kinda why I’m a little worried…? :C
I mean, I do think it’s far too early to tell exactly what’s going on in Billie’s mind yet – she just moved there TODAY in comic time OMG. She’s probably a jumble of mixed emotions right now, and that’ll take some time for us readers to untangle! So I think people jumping straight to blaming her for stuff are maaaybe jumping the gun a bit?
But yeah, as someone who’s been severely depressed (to the point of frequent suicidal ideation), I’m super worried for Ruth, not gonna lie. I don’t think Billie is doing anything WRONG, per se, and I would definitely like to see them work through their extreme co-dependency issues. But… Ruth is only just starting to work through her issues and is in a weird mental space right now (what with the whole “REDEMPTION IS IMPOSSIBLE” speech and a certain abusive relative showing up). So I swear I don’t mean this as an insult to Billie, but I can’t help but worry that Billie’s actions at the moment aren’t exactly… helping that? ;~;
But again, it’s not that I think there was a binary choice and Billie chose the WRONG option, it’s just. Complicated.
thejeff
It does suggest that it’s not going to be as simple as “officially move over there, but basically keep living in Ruth’s room”, which was kind of the original plan.
Eldritch Gentleman