235

Budding
Posted on July 22, 2023 by David M Willis

235 thoughts on “Budding”

  1. Doctor_Who

    Meanwhile, Galasso is just off-panel carefully taking notes. Finally, someone explaining how reproduction works!

    1. StClair

      Either that, or making a face like Optimus when Sari explained it to him.

      1. cbwroses

        Do you mean making a face that looks like Optimus?
        Or a face that Optimus makes?
        Also, if you’re feeling extra detailed with it, which Optimus and which version of said Optimus?

        1. David M Willis

          https://tfwiki.net/wiki/File:Sariprime.jpg

        2. Sirksome

          Ah, I remember when Optimus was young and inexperienced and had a chin, and Megatron was just a head in a building, and Starscream had a bunch of clones representing his personality, including a girl one which maybe implies he’s trans in more ways than one.

        3. zee

          When Optimus had a mouth that didn’t look weird
          All I’ve learned from being exposed to transformers media is that they should stop giving Optimus a mouth. Masked up only, it’s such an improvement

        4. cbwroses

          Oh shit, I forgot about this!

    2. Decidedly Orthogonal

      “A” Galasso’s ALT-text?

      1. Wizard

        This store is merely the first step in his plan of global domination. In time, all will be Galasso’s.

        1. Mark

          Eventually it will become impossible to build anything but more Galasso’s.

    3. bcb

      Oh my cheese I hadn’t thought of how Galasso’s Shortpacked lack of knowledge about reproduction would play off against the Dumbiverse version of Amber.

  2. Ana Chronistic

    “Ma’am, this is Galasso’s.”

    1. Ana Chronistic

      HEY alt-text

      also, NO Pepsi is NOT acceptable!

      1. cbwroses

        Don’t let my mother read that.

      2. David M Willis

        no pepsi is not acceptable? double negative that means pepsi is acceptable

        1. Mano308gts

          Honestly I would read that to indicate that every Pepsi is ok, rather than simply a double negative… If no Pepsi is not acceptable, the opposite is every Pepsi is acceptable. XD

        2. Dara

          Ce n’est pas un Pepsi

        3. BarerMender

          Why commas matter? Or simple pedantry?

        4. Taffy

          Commas have no rights. Commas are NOT protected under the constitution.

        5. AbacusWizard

          You’re forgetting the 9th Amendment though.

        6. Taffy

          How can I forget what I never knew?

        7. Morleuca

          its the one that says the constitution doesn’t cover everything and that there could be inalienable right the founding fathers didn’t think of, or that would exist as society changes and time goes on.

        8. Taffy

          I wonder why they glossed over that one whenever I took that dopey “Constitution Test” back in fifth grade.

        9. thejeff

          Because it’s really hard to do anything with it. You really can’t use it legally to establish a right, since you could make the same argument for literally anything.

        10. Taffy

          Still, it would be really handy to keep in mind. I don’t trust the people in charge not to downplay it for controlling reasons.

        11. Francoinblanco

          “We don’t need no education”

        12. Taffy

          …said the US education system.

        13. a/snow/mous/e

          “We don’t need no gun control” said the GOP

        14. Needfuldoer

          Real sugar Pepsi is better than HFCS Coke. I wish they still sold it (and Mountain Dew Throwback) in 2 liter bottles.

        15. Shade

          You know they make real sugar coke too right? You just need to look outside of the land of corn.

        16. Taffy

          $25 per bottle plus shipping isn’t worth it for a Coke

        17. Azhrei Vep

          Damn, you poor people. I can grab one for about about a buck fifty at most grocery stores. Except for the one solid week a month when they’re all out at once.

        18. Otl1973

          Here (south Florida) the stores (including Costco) always carry Hecho en Mexico Coke (sugar and in glass) – but pricier than “regular”. We also get (US) sugar Coke in 2 liter bottles, but usually only around Passover.

        19. Taffy

          Well yeah, I am poor, like “$14 in my account to last me indefinitely” type poor. Soda is like $2 now and it’s starting to price me out of drinking it (overall win for my health, but it’s still a bad omen). And most of the grocery stores here don’t carry it, outside of the ones way on the complete opposite end of town.

        20. Wizard

          Here in deepest FOA, my local Wal-Mart sells Mexican Coke, plus we have a couple of Mexican grocery stores. I wasn’t terribly impressed, but maybe it’s just a case of what you’re used to.

        21. Morleuca

          what ever happened to the hurricane bottles

        22. Needfuldoer

          Look for Coke bottles with yellow caps around Passover. They make that version with sucrose and sell it for the same price as the HFCS formula.

        23. Laura

          I miss mecca cola…

        24. Laura

          I also miss just plucking sassafras twigs from the tree and chewing on them all day. (Instant root beer flavor!) But apparently sassafras oil has some health concerns to it now.

        25. Otl1973

          I’m guessing health concerns to it then too, just not known ones.

        26. Laura

          Well, yeah, but hopefully not enough to matter for a kid who just likes to chew twigs all day.

        27. Mark

          It is not acceptable that there is no Pepsi.

      3. Ryan

        No tuna. Cheeseburger!
        No Transformers. Pepsi!

    2. Ophidiophile

      Galasso’s routinely has weirder people than you. It’s a pizza joint.

  3. Animedingo

    Im gonna be honest

    I didnt read all that

    1. NGPZ

      I did. Loved every bit of it! ☺️

    2. Yearofthecat

      It’s worth reading

    3. not someone else

      Happy for the Transformers though. Or sorry that happened

    4. Steamweed

      Gotta have our exposition _somewhere_. Very important to the plot!

    5. Angel

      i’m sure it’d be great to listen to on a podcast

      Plot twist: Amber infodumping about it is going to make walky crush on her again and suggest a polycule for real lol

      1. Azhrei Vep

        Hell, it’s making me crush on her, and I’m nowhere near as closer to her as Walky is.

        1. John Campbell

          Amber gravatar weird but possibly appropriate for this comment.

        2. Angel

          i know she has a small livestream following so who knows maybe despite her privacy and stuff she’s internet famous as a robotic themed vtuber or so XD

  4. NGPZ

    Fuck yeah Amber! Show us your raw Autistic Resonance!!! ?? ✌️?

    *plays “Torture Dance Song” from JoJo Golden Wind on hacked muzak*

  5. Sirksome

    I prefer Coca Cola actually. Pepsi is for people who are young and hip and like a little protest in their soft drink.

    1. Yumi

      I stopped really drinking soda when I was twelve, but I always preferred Coca Cola to Pepsi. I think it might have been, in part, low stakes tribalism, though. These days, I’ll have an occasional sip of soda, but I don’t enjoy much more than that, so I haven’t tested it out recently.

      1. BarerMender

        Or it might have been because Coke is good and Pepsi is rubbish.

        1. John Campbell

          Eh, colas all taste like soap to me. Sunkist or gtfo. (AFAICT, it’s the only caffeinated orange soda.)

    2. cbwroses

      My mother is 65 and won’t even admit to liking coke (despite choosing it twice in two different taste tests).
      She is not young, she doesn’t protest, though she apparently thinks she’s too cool for a minivan.

    3. anonymsly

      Weirdly, I personally like Coke better as far as regular soda, but Diet Pepsi is leagues ahead of Diet Coke for me. Not sure why.

      1. Rose by Any Other Name

        If I recall correctly, regular Coke is ‘Coke Classic’ whereas Diet Coke is actually diet New Coke, so that might be the reason. Whereas Coke Zero is diet Coke Classic.

        Generally, Coke Classic has less sweetener than Pepsi/New Coke, allowing more of the caffeine flavor (ie bitter like coffee) to seep through. That’s the ‘sharpness’ of Coke Classic. See also the ‘bite’ of Barc’s rootbeer.

        1. Miri

          I tried Diet Coke once and it tasted like it had diluted washing up liquid in there to me, but that was in the 90s. It put me off.

          Also up until I was about 7 I didn’t understand why anybody liked fizzy drinks. I’d kinda had a permanent cold for the first chunk of my life, with accompanying sore throat, and drinking things that feel like sandpaper going down hurt. Getting a bit of a break from that was nice…. (Currently on the same cold I had since May… My body’s bad at shaking them. But the antibiotics cleared up the side-helping of pneumonia I got to enjoy late May/early June so it’s kinda fine?)

          Now when I want one, I tend to order a pint of orange and soda water. Or if I really want something sweet, pineapple and soda water.

        2. Laura

          I’m so sorry you have been sick for so long, Miri!

          *Sends you a pot of hot black tea with honey (preferably raw local wildflower honey) and fresh lemon, boiled up with a clove of fresh garlic and a chunk of fresh ginger root.*
          (Other remedy recipes call for something more peppery, but I don’t want to exacerbate your sore throat. Lots of honey!)

          Or a hot toddy with black tea and rum.

    4. HueSatLight

      Danny finally realizing Amazi-girl and Amber aren’t quite the same person.

      1. HueSatLight

        oops, not meant to reply here. I can’t drink cola anymore, so root beer when I’m having a soft drink.

      2. Laura

        Yeah. I’m guessing Amber and Amazi-Girl will both have their friendships with Sal and Danny trashed by the end of the evening. Folks are often unforgiving of damage done by alters.

        I’m reminded of this comic:

        https://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=1063

        Which is sad, because Amazi-Girl actually does like them both and enjoys having friends.

    5. someone

      Coca-Cola has neither coca nor cola, and therefore sucks by default for being a lie. Yes, the coke is a lie.

      Pepsi-Cola, likewise. What the heck is pepsi supposed to even be?

      1. eh, whatever

        Doesn’t it still contain cola nuts? They contain loads of caffeine.

        1. Jon

          Coca-Cola hasn’t used kola extract since 2016, probably because climate shift made it harder to grow the trees the nut comes from. The caffeine content of the raw nut is usually between 2-4%, so the loss of the extract from the Coca-Cola recipe can easily be compensated for with caffeine from virtually any other source.

          Other hand, I’m not sure they should be allowed to keep using the name, given that neither of the substances it’s named for can be found in the soda today.

      2. khn0

        I used to not like any cola, the drank a few times since it was all that was available beside plain water, then got a big time without it and remarked something: it’s not only an acquired taste, but a taste you have to acquire anew each time you spend enough time without drinking it. Result: I prefer to have plain water at room temperature, even that room is a car parked for eight hours in the sun that have some coke (but water has to be in something else that a plastic bottle).

      3. Laura

        Peptic acid?

        1. Opus the Poet

          That’s just dilute Hydrochloric acid.

    6. zee

      Wild how much if a war it is when the only difference is that coke is a fraction less sweet. Both are undrinkable without rum or lime juice anyway

      1. zee

        (team GinsengUP Cola flavor)

      2. cbwroses

        Pretty sure coke is sweeter.

      3. Opus the Poet

        There used to be just a fraction of cinnamon in Coke that wasn’t in Pepsi. I could taste the difference.

  6. cbwroses

    Amber is practically glowing right now.

    1. Vanessa

      This is the happiest we’ve seen Amber in a long time! Someone asked about one of her special interests, insisted even, and is actually letting her talk about them. Beautiful to see, weird that it’s Sal’s disconnected goofball dad.

      1. Jamie

        I have a feeling I know why he asked, and I don’t like it.

  7. Cattleprod

    Shortpacked-Amber reaching across the multiverse to get revenge against Sydney. Assuming they were even personally enemies in Shortpacked, I can’t remember.

    1. Regalli

      Sydney was everyone’s personal enemy in Shortpacked who worked at Shortpacked.

      And Amber was a superhero, thus necessitating a nemesis. So at least in a meta way I think it works. (I know Sarah Palin was Robin’s direct Axis of Something counterpart.)

      1. Cattleprod

        My memory of Shortpacked is hazy enough that I can’t recall if Sydney’s big push was before for after Amber moved away.

      2. Leorale

        Iirc, Sydney thought they were the nemesis of everyone in Shortpacked (on account of getting laid off after Christmas sales season), but nobody particularly remembered who Sydney was.

  8. raja

    I’m learning so much, keep going Amber

  9. Yotomoe

    If someone responded to me asking “Is Pepsi ok” by explaining transformers reproduction lore in detail I’d assume Pepsi is not ok.

    1. Sirksome

      Actually I think it means she’d prefer Pepsi Nitro. The only soda infused with nitrogen for a smooth and creamy finish that appeals the discriminating transformer.

    2. Yumi

      Hm, I think I’d assume Pepsi was okay. I don’t know why. Maybe I’d think the bottom dialogue in panel three was meant to be the takeaway. Maybe I’d think, “This person has other things to think about right now. They will accept the soda.”

      1. eh, whatever

        I’m baffled anyone would assume anything. I’d just keep repeating the question.

  10. RassilonTDavros

    I think this might be the most Amber has smiled since Mike died. I’m not used to it.

  11. Wraithy2773

    Well, one can’t argue that Amber isn’t going all the way with the plan, that’s for sure…

  12. Regalli

    You know, given what Amber has been summoned to do, this is the most effective way of going about it I can think of.

    I’m still laughing. Beautiful. Poor Sydney.

    1. NGPZ

      Yee, her autism powers make her perfect for this! ??

    2. Freemage

      I’m’a make a prediction, here. Not based on anything other than what we’ve seen so far, and probably super, super wrong, but it’ll still amuse me if it is in any way correct.

      Off-panel, Chuck is reacting with the exact level of Lovecraftian horror that one would expect, wondering what he hath wrought, and hoping that enough laudanum will suppress the dreams. Meanwhile, Linda is going full denial, tuning Amber’s actual speech out so she can focus on ‘what’s important’ (which certainly is NOT skin-color, however would you get that idea?).
      Thus, when the party breaks up, Chuck and Linda have utterly disparate viewpoints. This leads to an argument, that escalates quickly, in part because Linda is so used to Chuck just going along with her wishes. Eventually, she crosses a key line, and says something ~blatantly~ racist, lacking any plausible deniability.
      At that point, things spiral, until they announce they are getting a divorce. Linda, somehow blaming Lucy for everything and seeking solace, runs across Carol, who suggests she come to a community faith meeting to ‘get some perspective’. This leads to a mirror of the Reagan-era alliance between Southern racists and far-right religious zealots, and thus the Evil Mom Alliance is born.
      Unlike the EDA, the EMA focuses on legal shennanigans, harassment and action by proxy, inciting protests against perversion on campus and “Woke Ideology”; they also tap into the local right-wing student groups (most of whom are former fratbros of Ryan’s) to invite demagogue speakers to campus. A smear campaign is launched, suggesting that Lucy (among others) is an “affirmative action admission” that should have her admission re-reviewed. Linda taps into her old relationship with the Dean to help push things along and at least prevent an official retaliation.
      Meanwhile, Chuck and Hank meet up in a bar, they bond over drinks and some incidental similarities, and wake up sharing a motel bed; they look at one another uncertainly, before gently holding hands. Somehow, Robin ends up officiating their mutual second marriage.

      Thus Endeth The Prediction.

      1. Jamie

        Prediction, schmediction. I think you just recited the plot of Left Behind.

  13. Nathan

    Willis spending ten years writing a complex, nuanced story about growing up and changing as a person and grappling with religion and sexuality and family, all so he can lure in an audience and spend the next six months subjecting them to Transformers sex lore.

    1. Jo_cubstar

      Brilliant and I am here for it!

    2. sultryglebe

      Next Slipshine.

      1. Bogeywoman

        Transformer slipshine where Carla is the transformer (for multiple reasons)

        1. Opus the Poet

          Butt of course. Carla is all about Transformers, after Ultra Car. Of course.

    3. Bo

      the long game…

  14. C.T. Phipps

    Charles: Who else is aroused?

    1. Yotomoe

      Sal: Believe it or not.

    2. Steamweed

      David, too. It’s a family thing.

  15. Yotomoe

    Walky looks happy and engaged so I’m gonna keep my crusade that I think they should get back together.

    1. David M Willis

      i read that as “engorged”

      1. NGPZ

        Spoilers? ?

      2. Yotomoe

        I’ll save that description until AFTER lunch.

    2. pope suburban

      Yeah his face here is so animated and attentive. Not something we’ve really seen with Lucy. Of course some of that could be the chaos in which he’s currently engaged, but I don’t think that’s all of it. Oof.

  16. Nono

    I hope ‘transgressive’ was a Transformers pun.

    1. cbwroses

      If it wasn’t, it’s transformed into one now.

      1. True Survivor

        It was sort of hidden in there. A pun in disguise if you would.

  17. Alongcameaspider

    Willis is the closest thing to a transformers expert I know so I am just going to accept all that information as factual and not look into it any further

    1. Rose by Any Other Name

      Wise you are.

    2. NGPZ

      Yeah, I mean he’s THE Transformers Stan.

    3. Allandrel

      I mean, one could look it up on the Transformers wiki, but Willis almost certainly wrote whatever one would find.

  18. Sneakystorms

    Are we in danger of Walky falling back in love with amber after this? His smile has me worried!

  19. Mr. Random

    You’re just having fun, aren’t you.

    1. Bo

      there’s NOTHING funny about Transformers lore, this is all Serious business >:I

  20. Keldas

    Oh gosh walky’s gonna fall in love with her. I expected walky and Lucy to end but not like this

    1. Steve C.

      Even if Walky did fall for her, I can’t imagine Amber being willing to reciprocate due to her own eff’d upness.

  21. Rei

    I do not know any transformer lore or background. This is unironically fascinating to me.

  22. UrsulaDavina

    Can I have a Baja Blast zero please?

  23. Doom Shepherd

    Black Cherry Real Sugar Pepsi was Best Pepsi.
    My wife has spoken.

    1. cbwroses

      Your wife has good taste.

      1. clif

        Then why isn’t she drinking Dr. Pepper?

        1. Taffy

          Because she has good taste.

        2. NGPZ

          I like Dr Pepper? Pika pika? 😮

        3. Sirksome

          You fools. Don’t you see you’re playing into these soda distributors hands?! Dr. Pepper, Pepsi, Coke, RC, Shasta, Diet Rite. It’s all the same crap. They want you to fight, to identify with their brand so you go out and buy more their bullshit carbonated, corn syrup, sugar water! They sit in their ivory tower raking in profit from our petty spats cause they know trying to innovate in the soft drink industry is a fruitless endeavor. No one would normally drink mango, or fucking ginseng infused horse piss unless they felt they were getting one over on the other guy’s nearly identical crap. Say no to soda war profiteering!

        4. NGPZ

          I like Dr Pepper when i in the mood for a cola but not too much caffeine ?

        5. cbwroses

          Technically Dr Pepper isn’t a cola as it has no kola nuts.
          That’s how they won a lawsuit against Pepsi back in the day who felt the names were too similar.

        6. Taffy

          It’s also a complete fucking fraud. What, I’m supposed to believe that billions of cans and bottles and Chapsticks have a doctorate?

        7. Laura

          *Plays “Coke is the Drink of the Death Squads” on the hacked jukebox…*
          https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=O7GXdfJ2nxE

    2. Laura

      Cherry coke comes close, though! Cherry vanilla coke is awesome too.

      1. Laura

        (Hypocritical, I know. “I am vast. I contain multitudes.” As Whitman said. Or something like that.)

      2. Opus the Poet

        Cherry Vanilla Coke Zero is the best, fight me.

  24. Yotomoe

    “You see, Charles, I put on the transformers costume and mix and mingle with other people in similar suits. It’s a whole convention full of likeminded people! It’s not sexual. Although I do have lots of sex while I’m wearing it.”

  25. Robyn

    Wow ok I was expecting a simple explanation of mpreg or something like that, I underestimated Amber’s power level. (I realize what it says about me that I immediately assumed the pregnant Transformer in the image was male.)

    1. Jay

      Yesterday’s pregnant transformer? Yep, Scorponok’s a guy.

      Also, they were very nearly a Single Gender Race, so your odds would be pretty good anyway!

      1. Robyn

        lol I missed that Amber said it was canon! Love that for him

    2. Miri

      And Walky instantly requested mpreg pics

  26. newlland(Henryvolt)

    And I thought the Spider-Man and TMNT mythos was fucked up and weird…and I found out about the time Spider-Queen Assaulted Peter Parker the other day.

    1. Bo

      is this referring to ‘Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark’, the hit Broadway musical????

  27. Caro

    SYDNEY!

  28. BBCC

    Amber is very knowledgeable!

    Just maybe needs to answer about Pepsi. XD

  29. True Survivor

    Wait, so then what’s a protoform like they had in that one epsiode TFP where Starscream clones himself? Also, are the transformers coming out of the ground a spontaneous autogensis thing, them being created by the All-Spark or Primus (who is kinda Cybertron in away), or are they sprouting from seeds or spores of somekind? There are different (apparent) sexes of transformers. Are they getting the seeds via sexual reproduction? I have so many questions I don’t want to have but my love of scify and biology is too strong.

    1. J. Spider

      Protoforms have always been a weird deal since they were introduced in Beast Wars. They’re often treated as unactivated blank slates that can be anything but we also have clear evidence of past lives.

      Prime/Animated both show protoforms as the beginning of the transformer lifecycle. But Beast Wars shows Rampage having been previously activated before he was made a protoform and RID gives us Autobot protoforms who were remade into Decepticons but can still recall their autobot memories.

      Basically protoforms aren’t necessarily baby transformers but rather transformers in some sort of a heavily malleable state.

  30. morhek

    Thank god he stopped her before she started explaining Kiss Players.

    1. cbwroses

      What is a Kiss Player?

      1. Proxiehunter

        You could google it, but I recommend you don’t. And yeah, I could explain it but I don’t want to be responsible for doing that to someone.

        1. Svankensen

          You should have warned me more strongly. Basically looks like pedophilic transformers.

      2. Taffy

        Transformers but they have to make out with little girls.

    2. Bo

      oh gods

  31. DailyBrad

    Not sure what it says about me that I would willingly hang out with Amber.

  32. Cmasta1992

    Oh Lucy…you left Walky to the wolves and you don’t even know it. It’s joever

    I hope Willis gives her something nice in the plot down the road

    1. clif

      Go Team Garbage!!!

      1. Cmasta1992

        Yet another one of my DoA ship sinks…

        I cannot cheer for your happiness

  33. Alex Boston

    Wow I did not know any of this! I naively assumed that transformers were all built (or rebuilt).

  34. Steamweed

    100%, I was gonna comment here: “Ma’am, this is a Galasso’s.”

    Then I thought to check the hovertext……

    1. Taffy

      And then you posted it anyway. Checkmate, atheist.

      1. Steamweed

        Let the record show Willis thought it first. And me (reviews notes) at best fourth.

  35. Straximus

    Omg, she’s talking about The Swarm. I want to hang out with Amber and talk Transformers. Esp if we’re discussing the Marvel G1/G2 era. That’s my jam.

    1. Thomas

      Can’t tell if Amber is trolling or this is real TF lore. AFAIK Willis has sure never mentioned any of this on Twitter and it’s exactly the kind of thing he’d discuss. (Which is to say anything I know about Transformers I got second-hand via Willis.)

      1. Thomas

        Also a little disappointed in a robot society that frowns on building new robots.

        1. Taffy

          Why should a robot society be free of all the dipshit bigotry us organics are addicted to?

        2. Thomas

          Because a robot society is a fictional thing that doesn’t exist. I dunno, I just think building new robots seems a fun thing to explore. Turns out they don’t do that. Yes, I do understand a fictional world is more interesting if it allows us to explore real-world problems from a different angle. But also, robots building new robots!

        3. Laura

          Like in STTNG with Data’s daughter.

        4. Laura

          “I was unaware, Captain, that crew members needed to ask your permission before procreating. Have I missed something?” (Paraphrase)

        5. David M Willis

          They don’t frown on building new robots — they manufacture them as quickly as they can, because they need to win wars. It’s just that since they’re not born the “regular” magical way, there was a time they weren’t considered equals.

        6. Thomas

          A-ha! Thanks for clearing that up! Makes good sense as a story.

  36. kater

    She’s my favorite

  37. MisterJinKC

    Ma’am, this is Gallasos.

  38. Angel

    lol i thought sydney was fired? tho surprised she wasn’t like “Well you’re getting X anyways”

    1. Laura

      “They”, IIRC.

  39. SDRainbow

    absolutely not, pepsi is a travesty

  40. Suet

    I don’t think asexual reproduction is a sexual crime; it’s a physics crime surely.

    That’s the longest amount we’ve heard from Amber. I hope this place serves Crystal Pepsi.

  41. fireprincesslily

    I’ve changed my mind, this plan actually rules

  42. DarkoNeko

    of course it’s ok. Pepsi is better.

  43. Francoinblanco

    to be honest if the old traditional way of breeding is jumping off the rocks of cybertron like dwarves then other methods can look like playing god or frankenstein.
    And I dont see difference between pepsi and cola so pepsi is ok

  44. Doopyboop

    I feel so bad for Sal. Do they approve of Danny at LEAST partially because he’s a sweet little white boy nerd? Yes. Was it still getting Sal approval and interaction she had never gotten from her parents, as well as the fact that Sal sincerely likes Danny and got to introduce them to her parents. Granted, her parents also used the opportunity to pat themselves on the back for their shitty parenting BUT I think Sal was still enjoying some of the benefits. Finally, she was the center of attention for their parents. And in a GOOD way.

    …And then Walky comes in with Amber to torch the whole dinner as part of a lesson about racism. Which is clearly not going to plan. Linda didn’t magically forgive Amber just because she was white. When Walky does try to go ‘See?! Lucy’s so much better than Amber!!”, I think his parents are just going to be confused about who his girlfriend really is. Linda may even ask to talk to the manager. Amber and Walky have now hogged all of the attention for shenanigans when Lucy and Walky could have arrived together and proven themselves, if not flip off Linda and Charles themselves if they did microaggressions which Sal would have helped them with.

    This was so poorly thought out and I hope Sal will be alright by the end.

    1. Wraithy2773

      While you’re probably right about the direction, I do think its worth keeping an open mind about the possibilities here. I can see two less likely, but still possible alternatives:

      1: Linda and Charles pull Walky aside to ask him what happened to Lucy, and the main reason they haven’t yet is that they’re having trouble dealing with Amber’s… Amberness.

      2: Linda/Charles call out Walky on this obviously not being serious. They probably don’t understand *what* the actual motive is, but they know that this isn’t sincere, and aren’t shouting Amber down because… well, one part her Amberness, and one part them wanting to be sure.

      Again, you’re most likely right about this going horribly wrong or horribly right, but we’re still mid-scene, sometimes Willis surprises us.

    2. Needfuldoer

      Walky literally obstructing Sal in yesterday’s strip was pretty symbolic, wasn’t it.

    3. Leorale

      Yeah, I’m getting lots of sibling feels for Sal in this whole arc. And Sal is trying so hard to be sincere and vulnerable — but then comes Walky shenanigans, Sal gets covered up, no more attention left for Sal.

    4. cbwroses

      It’s been like a literal minute.
      That is way too short to say whether or not this plan will work.
      Yes, it’s a terrible plan, but not necessarily because it won’t highlight the parent’s racism and treatment of Sal.
      We need more time to say whether or not that part of the plan will fail or not, especially since Linda is the main force behind that behavior and the last things she did was snap “Charles!” two strips ago.

      1. Taffy

        I choose to remove the quotation marks and take your newly-modified comment about Linda snapping Charles in the most violent way possible. She has broken the man in half and there’s nothing you can do to convince me you weren’t the one who said it first.

  45. Sean Smith

    Man Sal came here to see what it would be like if he got along with her parents and Walky came here to see what it would be like if he didn’t.

  46. Bryy

    This strip is topical because of SDCC.

    1. NGPZ

      Pika pika?

      1. Bryy

        GEEK SHIT.

        1. NGPZ

          ? Sounds like a delicious time!

        2. Taffy

          Phrasing

  47. John Campbell

    See, Sydney, this is why you’ll never be a successful supervillain. You should tell her, “You are not worthy of Coca-Cola! You will drink Pepsi, and you will hate it! But you will drink it anyway! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

    1. Needfuldoer

      That’s the big reveal when the customer takes their first sip, right? Lull them into thinking they’re getting Coke right up until that moment.

      1. Taffy

        Now I’m wondering if there’s any tangible difference between the two composition-wise. Some kind of dietary restriction against one but not the other (sugar doesn’t count, literally just drink less of it).

        1. Needfuldoer

          Pepsi is sweeter initially, Coke has a more complex aftertaste. They fought a whole war about it back in the 70s and 80s, as memorialized in Billy Joel’s 1989 hit We Didn’t Start the Fire.

        2. Taffy

          I meant something more like “Turns out Pepsi contains certain [science word] that causes people with [fairly rare allergy] to can’t drink it syndrome, but Coke doesn’t have that”.

        3. Laura

          Originally, that special ingredient was coca leaves (cocaine plant).

          https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coca-Cola

        4. HueSatLight

          cocaine is also what provided the pep in pepsi. I believe the difference is the acids used. Coke is supposedly all phosphoric acid, and pepsi is mostly phosphoric acid, but some citric acid, which is included as “natural flavors” in the ingredients list.

        5. Laura

          Fascinating!

  48. Needfuldoer

    Amber’s info-dumping habit hits a little close to home, here. When to rein that tendency in was one of the most important lessons I’ve learned over the years.

    Hi, Sydney.

  49. Michael Lanting

    Galasso’s has Pepsi instead of Coke? I knew that guy was evil, but I didn’t realise he was quite THAT bad.

  50. Acher4

    I knew nothing of all of these….

    “I regret all my life’s choices”

  51. JBento

    Cursed strip.

  52. StClair

    Panel 4: so “Spike” means “dick”, got it.

    (someone say the line)

    1. Taffy

      What line?

      1. StClair

        the one that was put in just to get a PG rating instead of the dreaded G.

        1. Taffy

          “Shit happens.” “Shit?” “Happens.” “Shit happens…”

  53. Amós Batista

    I really thought Transformers came from some space junkyard. Growing up like fungus, mushrooms…

    1. Zaxares

      Those are the Junkions, I believe. And I’m guessing they were already pre-built or something and were just hiding underground? I dunno, my Transformer knowledge is decades out of date. XD I was actually under the impression that all new Transformers were constructed, so what Amber said in today’s strip is all-new to me!

  54. fy

    if i was their server, i would either love or hate amber, it would entirely depend how busy we were. slow day? this is my favorite table, tell me more. slammed dinner rush? shut the fuck up and order.

    1. Taffy

      If it helps, they don’t seem to have come in during a particularly busy time.

  55. Heather

    I guess this kind of thing just happens to franchises which are around for decades on end. Keep trying to one up previous iterations. And if they can’t do that they’ll try to at least make it weirder.

  56. TheScreenJockey

    It’s nice to see Amber genuinely enjoying herself for a moment.

  57. AlaninDC

    Twenty years ago, this is how my own kid and her friends followed Pokémon. Couldn’t shut them up.

    1. Taffy

      And to think, there were only like 386 Pokémon at the time. Now we’re up to 1008, and I pity the unpreparents whose kid is about to Start™.

      1. Opus the Poet

        Now you’re talking about my grandson…

  58. thumb

    Willis finally allowing himself to get this off his chest. It’s been a long while since Shortpacked.

  59. Owlmirror

    LOL remembering a few strips back when Amber was all “I’m just gonna sit quietly and look at my phone.”

    Now do DC/Marvel crossover slashfic.

    And, hey! I predicted Sydney would be there! Will we get the rant+Linda asking for the manager?

    1. Taffy

      Is there something specific to Marvel/DC slashfic I should know about? I’m basically looking for an excuse at this point.

      1. Opus the Poet

        You mean you never heard about the Hulk/Supergirl slash?

        1. Taffy

          I’ve never heard of the any slash at all.

  60. Mark

    Really, nobody noticed the bit in panel 3 about it being bad to treat people worse just because they’re different? Just slid it right through and kept talking. Amber is too good at this for Walky’s wacky hijinks.

    1. Exarch

      I noticed for sure- honestly the most interesting part of today’s comment to me for sure. This is actually good conversation and I wish the characters would talk about it

  61. Hof1991

    Fools. This is Sydney’s comic. Even if she hasn’t appeared for four years. Victory is inevitable and will be sweet.

  62. raker

    To be honest, and servers should know this, NO! When I order a coke, Pepsi is never ok.

    1. PedanticJerkass

      If you order a Coke, and they ask if Pepsi is okay, it’s probably because they don’t serve Coke products at all in that restaurant. I.e. your choice will be Pepsi (or some other Pepsi product like Sierra Mist or whatever) or tea or water or nothing at all.

      1. Taffy

        That’s why I always say “I’d like a cola, please”. Doesn’t stop some of the denser ones from asking if Pepsi is okay, and I don’t have it in me to say “Yes, that’s why I said ‘cola’ and not ‘Coke'”, but it helps about as often as not.

        If I want a cola but Pepsi isn’t okay, I’ll just ask for something the fuck else, becaues I’m not about to escalate the situation over a fucking beverage.

  63. RoyanRannedos

    Ma’am, this is Galasso’s.

  64. ADLegend21

    ngl Amber looks hot in panel 4. She’s so confident and in her element.

    1. Taffy

      Confidence is sexy, and anyone who disagrees is fragile.

  65. Mark

    Amber slowly rises from her chair, turns to Sydney with a frosty expression, and says, quietly, “no, Pepsi is not OK. Bring me a Coke. NOW.” She turns away, sits back down, and resumes her discourse as if nothing has happened.

    Sydney backs away slowly, thinkinig furiously where is the nearest Coke, because at last he has seen true power.

  66. wakeangel2001

    so where do the protoforms factor in? Are they the things that grow like daisies? Also, when is the spark infused? Do you put the spark in the protoform or does the protoform grow with one inside and it waits for some trigger to animate it?

  67. Bo

    i love the lore of sci-fi based on licensed toys so so very much

  68. JA

    “Ma’am, this is a Galasso’s.”

  69. Friendly Frankenstein

    Alright fine I’ll read the transformers wiki entry on reproduction you got me willis.

  70. KilljoyBob

    Seems like that would make it awkward when the Autobots met Sparkplug and Spike.

    “You named your son WHAT?!”

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