303

Thessalonians
Posted on September 28, 2011 by David M Willis

303 thoughts on “Thessalonians”

  1. Another Commenter

    Hoooo boy. I think I know where this one’s going.

    1. GinzaMary

      Date rape…?

      1. Name

        Really? He’s going to try and date rape a sober Christian by starting with some Biblical verse as a pickup? You’re dumb.

        1. Snorlax

          For weeks he’s been stalking her. Learning what she likes, learning what she’d trust. Waiting, begging, for a moment like this.

          It’s genius.

        2. Aizat

          If by genius you mean creepy as all hell, then yes it’s pure genius.

        3. Bekah

          Starting with date-rape wasn’t creepy enough…

        4. ryan

          not to mention it’s cliche as hell.

        5. SUGauthor

          I suppose the irony is that these guys were right.

        6. agentksilver

          …for a single week, you mean?

        7. f.p.

          Actually, it’s been done before. Sad but true.

        8. turkishproverb

          I’ve seen it happen. Or, rather, I’ve seen people try.

      2. phildog

        This, sadly.

      3. Rayrayrave

        Seriously? That early? Damn

      4. Julez

        Spot-on answer is spot-on.

    2. T Campbell

      Thessalonians means he’s not faking. Some actual Christians don’t even know that book exists.

      I’m not gonna call this one, except to say that I doubt Joyce just met an exact soulmate.

      1. vlademir1

        As my friend just mentioned he may turn out being too hard core Christian even for Joyce…

        1. CP

          That would be disappointing. The original timeline already did the whole “true believer” judging the rest of the world unworthy bit, and even specifically as a friend of Joyce’s that was, narratively, designed to distance her from the more hypocritical side of the spectrum of the Christian faith. It’d probably be too much to ask to have a well-adjusted Christian in the comic, but I really hope we don’t go treading through old ruts with this guy.

        2. Jo

          There aren’t, to my knowledge, any well-adjusted characters in this at all.

        3. mischugenah

          *ponders* I think you’re right, actually.

        4. Palmetto

          Humor those of us who started fresh with DoA and have no exposure (or interest) in the original timeline.

      2. phildog

        You’re forgetting that the average atheist understands the bible much better than the average christian:

        http://pewforum.org/other-beliefs-and-practices/u-s-religious-knowledge-survey.aspx

        1. George

          Yeah, but chapter:verse citations of an obscure book aren’t something an atheist would bust out, especially as his first words to a girl he identified as a serious Christian, especially since the quote used is so judgmental of the people around him (except Joyce). I’m betting he’s going to be too judgmental and fire-and-brimstone for Joyce, causing her to question what it means to be a Christian- especially if she starts dating him and he tries to “correct” her own unwillingness to judge others.

        2. George

          ugh, messed up the html- only the first italicized word was supposed to be like that. Is this right?

        3. George

          Yep. Cool.

        4. samiscool

          If he’s going to be super judgmental, why is he even at this party in the first place? just so he can judge everyone around him?

        5. MeHael

          Plausible scenario. Or he might be the DD for someone else there, such as his roommate.

        6. Far

          Roz, hearing that Joyce would be at the party (thru the grapevine) setup this guy to get her away from Dorothy: divide and conquer.
          Meh, maybe.

        7. phildog

          Children home schooled tend to be both very religious, naive, and lacking in social skills. She’s likely to also be passive, and not have a large circle of friends due. Rapist would target a person like this, and it seems likely would come prepared, and not just with bullshit lines to gain their trust.

        8. Magnus369

          Seriously, no one has figured it out? He even has the same shirt!
          http://penny-arcade.com/comic/2005/08/19

          well… close to the same shirt 😛

        9. Magnus369

          wtf… this comment was sposed to be way the hell down there where the name argument is… Sorry, continue bongoing about who’s religion/non-religion is better at knowing jack shit 🙂

        10. Far

          “the average atheist understands the bible much better than the average christian”
          Huh? Check that report again:
          “On questions about Christianity – including a battery of questions about the Bible – Mormons and white evangelical Protestants show the highest levels of knowledge.”
          Let’s be fair, be accurate.

        11. phildog

          Protestants in general scored 6.5 out of 12, and Christians in general scored 6.2. Atheists however scored 6.7. Check the numbers again if you don’t believe me.

          http://pewforum.org/uploadedImages/Topics/Belief_and_Practices/religious-knowledge-02.png

        12. Far

          You’re manipulating the numbers to your advantage. If you’re going to use “Protestants in general” then you have to factor in all the “unafiliated” with Atheists, which gives 5.8 vs. 6.5 and 6.2.

          Or just admit Mormons and white evangelical Protestants do better than other Christians and Atheists.

      3. spsook

        #realtalk right there, T. And even if they do – they don’t read it!

      4. Kirt Dankmyer

        Plus, if he was an important character he’d have his own tag. 🙂

    3. David Herbert

      It’s her brother? They look pretty similar.

  2. Jon

    Guess his name! Go!

    1. Jen Aside

      Machete!

      wait

      1. Aizat

        I called him Roger. Don’t ask me why though.

      2. darkond2100

        His name is Ron. Check the tags of the previous two comics.

        1. Aizat

          Ron? Is his last name is Jeremy?

        2. NerdAtComputer

          This dude doesn’t appear in the comics with the “Ron” tag.

          On the other hand, the guy with the red shirt and the white sleaves does.

          Ron is that person, not this guy.

        3. Kazasdrakon

          Ron was the guy wearing the jersey

        4. Boringamus

          I was gonna say, it’s weird he doesn’t even have a name yet. several strips are tagged for the background characters they contain, and this guy seems important. He’s not Ron, however, Ron was the guy that offered Joyce a drink.

        5. artemi

          I assumed characters like that are people that are already known from other Willis comics but aren’t known yet here. Cameo’s Willis want’s us to know are cameos, but don’t have relevance (yet) in this comic.

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      He looks like a Carlton or a Theodore to me.

      1. GinzaMary

        Okay, I have to ask. Carlton?

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Carlton is the sort of name you would expect from a pish-posh looking guy like him.

        2. Spazman

          Dancing around to Rick Jones…..

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zS1cLOIxsQ8

          Sorry, couldn’t resist when you said that.

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          I cannot believe I forgot about THAT Carlton.

          Great Video! 😀

    3. Jon

      I think he looks like a Matt/Matthew

    4. Bickendan

      Christian. Christian Young.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        A punny name… Willis has done that before… so possibly.

        1. Kaylee

          No, I really think “Leslie Bean” was a happy coincidence.

        2. iSaidCandleja-

          Nah. I’m pretty sure her first appearance said to keep her in mind becuase she’d be appearing later. And even if it was coincidence, it wouldn’t explain Alan.

    5. isitsevenyet

      He reminds me of James Van Der Beek. Light hair, darker sideburns, and the shape of the face.

    6. Thor

      Damien! Lucifer! Brigham! Adolf! Benito! Rikk!

      The choices are endless!

    7. Aizat

      The name’s Delgado. Haas Delgado.

      1. Wackd

        He’s got a megalomaniac uncle named Roger with insane facial hair and an obsession with practitioners of medicine.

        1. Aizat

          Who happens to be The Master.

        2. Aizat

          Especially practitioners of medicine that has a blue phone booth.

        3. vlademir1

          Police Box, sir.

        4. Aizat

          Thank you for correcting me and sorry for the mistake.

        5. 47

          And who also have a doctorate in cheese making.

        6. Robert

          What about “Christian Gaylord”?

        7. GinzaMary

          I’m thinking Mortimer Feygelestien, you know, just to stick with tradition…

    8. lawzlo

      Brigham!

    9. vlademir1

      Seriously I’m expecting “Saul” or “Paul” for… reasons.

    10. Spazman

      Nick L. Mann

      He fucked your mom.

    11. Undrave

      Thumper?

      I got nothin’

    12. moonracer191

      Michael

    13. Shade

      Gabriel?

    14. Malph

      Carl.

      1. Bekah

        No. Lenny. Carl’s his black heterosexual life-partner.

    15. iggy_rock

      Jesus H. Christ. He’s the second coming 🙂

    16. creatorx2

      He is nameless. He is a hallucination brought on by a roofies-fragmented mind. She is currently unconscious.

      Wait no that would be horrible. Forget I said that. NOBODY REMEMBER ANYTHING.
      Wait a tic

      1. Kernanator

        He is Tyler Durden.

    17. Daeva

      I’m gonna guess his name is Hugh. Hugh Mann.

  3. ScytheAkse

    and she meets the cute christian boy!! 10 bucks says hes mormon and they fight about theology!

    1. Mkvenner

      I’d pay CAD$20 to read that comic. 🙂

      1. mischugenah

        So would I, as long as they got the theology right.

      2. tbf

        At first I wondered why you’d pay Tim Buckley $20 to read that.

        1. Joraiem

          Ha! Oh, Tim Buckley, eternal buttmonkey of the webcomic world.

          At least he deserves it.

        2. Dream State's Author

          Just remember, bashing him gives him more business!

          Funny the way the internet works, ain’t it?

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      I’m guessing Bapist or LDS.

      1. Vabolo

        Possibly LSD.

    3. Bickendan

      This LDS lol’ed.
      Here, have an Internetz.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        So you think that I am on the right track? 😀

      2. mischugenah

        Glad I’m not the only one on here.

  4. iSaidCandleja-

    She found a friend! This party is going well after all.

  5. Plasma Mongoose

    This character has no name, does this mean that he is a one off?

    1. iSaidCandleja-

      It means the tags for this comic will be changed by next week.

    2. Mkvenner

      I hope so.

  6. TMP

    he has a Jewish last name

    1. ryan

      goldbergstein

  7. b

    Wow an actual working relationship?

  8. Mkvenner

    Kill the new person. There can be Only One!

    1. Aizat

      The new guy’s an immortal? Chop his head off!

    2. ALostProphet

      Kill the new Highlander movie! There can be Only One!

      1. Aizat

        There’s another Highlander movie? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

      2. Mkvenner

        Having see the other Highlander movies I have to Agree.

      3. Conuzor

        The Highlander was a documentary. And the events were filmed in real-time!

        1. fellixe

          And even after killing the final ‘one’ again and again the series continued… Because nobody noticed the camera guy was also an immortal.

  9. Scot

    I wish the drunks at my town had THEIR scheduling down…

  10. dchorror

    Not cool. You don’t go to a party to look down upon the people there.

    1. Mkvenner

      Unless your a Puritian.

    2. Rikushadow5

      It could be his dorm. Ruth rarely liked the parties in her dorm back in Roomies, yet they always happened.

      1. Mkvenner

        It a house not a dorm.

        1. Rikushadow5

          Fair enough. Actual location aside, my point still stands.

        2. corporatebastard

          At my last year of uni I flatted with seven other people (it was a big house) and one of them was a straight-edge Christian. Didn’t stop her from going to the parties and interacting.

        3. dchorror

          If I remember correctly, Ruth never made snide comments about the people at the party either. My complaint isn’t that he’s complaining about the party, he’s talking down about the people at the party.

          Look at Joyce. She doesn’t necessarily agree with what they’re doing, she’s not going to do it herself, but she’s not condemning them either.

    3. Michelle Alford

      I don’t agree with that at all.

      1. dchorror

        You’re going to go to a party to complain about it?

  11. ilvos01

    Hey, look! It’s male joyce from the anomaly, but with different eyes

    1. Rikushadow5

      Nah, he’s not wearing a sweatervest.

      1. Undrave

        It’s a party! He had to dress casual.

  12. cmglothlin

    I don’t like this guy. He doesn’t seem zany or able to carry his own narrative. And there’s only like seven Bible verses that’s quotable.

    Maybe he’ll grow on me.

  13. ALostProphet

    No tag? I’m sure that’s important. somehow.

  14. meanderling

    Nice Christian Boy used Bible Verse!

    It’s super effective!

    1. Mkvenner

      Needs new material. 😐

    2. GinzaMary

      Nice Christian Boys don’t know how to be that smooth. Only sneaky Atheists can quote anything that isn’t from Leviticus or the Pauline Epistles off the top of their heads! 😛

      1. vlademir1

        That is from one of the Pauline Epistles

        1. GinzaMary

          Yeah, but it’s the boring one no one reads. 😛

    3. Plasma Mongoose

      Seems less than super effective to me.

      1. iSaidCandleja-

        Your gravatar is perfect for that comment.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          At least I done one comment today that fits the mood. ^_^

        2. Locarno

          Who IS your gravatar anyways, Plasma Mongoose? She looks like a demented female clone of Archie Andrews.

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          Today’s Grav is Blair from the Webcomic Eerie Cuties, he is a spirit who has taken possession of a female doll, he is somewhat of a pervert.

        4. ScytheAkse

          bring back hanners!! or pintsize. you could get some funny shit with pintsize

        5. meanderling

          She looks an awful lot like Momo’s original form in QC with blue hair!

  15. lokitsu

    He has no name. That can only mean that Joyce is beginning to hallucinate!

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Someone put acid in her Sierra Mist.

      1. Mkvenner

        That could be it.

        1. Wix

          It would explain why he looks so much like her, being a part of her own mind. I would almost go as far as saying she looks like the male her from It’s Walky.

      2. Rikushadow5

        Didn’t you know? Sierra Mist comes with Acid.

      3. TheBenenator

        Yes — the bottling plant.

        What? Adding carbon dioxide to water makes a very small amount of carbonic acid! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carbonic_acid#Chemical_equilibrium

        1. Rikushadow5

          Plus, there’s Citric Acid.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          Don’t forget the Deoxyribo-Nucleic Acid.

        3. moonracer191

          how did DNA get in the soda? ya know what, never mind. I’m afraid of the answer.

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          I *WAS* thinking on the lines of the organic matter like fruit juice which would have DNA but the possibility of ‘certain other sources’ of DNA squicks and amuses me.

        5. MeHael

          Somebody clearly forgot the ‘don’t backwash’ rule.

    2. Aizat

      Or he could just be a figment of Joyce’s imagination.

  16. Grimlockimus

    The fact he is not Walky makes me instantly dislike him.

    1. Thor

      Well, crap. Now that I realize that he isn’t Walky, I have to like him. Thanks a lot, dude!

  17. ALostProphet

    His name is Thess. Make it canon.

  18. Ridureyu

    Premarital Hanky-Panky in T-Minus 10…9…8…

    1. vlademir1

      Counting down the years? This is Joyce after all.

      1. Wix

        Yes, but this one seems willing to go to an actual party, whileas the other Joyce probably would have gone ‘wtf no!’

  19. gaspacho

    Who just walks up and randomly quotes verses at somebody? Pushy much?

    I’m sure he’ll get a sympathetic POV eventually, like Joyce’s, but right now he seems like a jackass.

    1. iSaidCandleja-

      It would only be random if he wasn’t aware that Joyce was an outspoken Christian that looked bored at a party where people like Billie have fun. He doesn’t seem pushy, just surprisingly well informed on how to get Joyce’s attention.

      1. Joraiem

        The “surprisingly well informed” part is what bothers me. I don’t think I’ve seen this guy in the background before at school. I’m crossing my fingers that he’s not a crazy stalker.

        Granted, we’ve already got a nice, albeit kind of sheltered Christian character. Is it really likely we’d find two positive Christians in a webcomic?

    2. Rikushadow5

      Ever played with/as a Paladin in D&D? It’s so easy to spot the self-righteous or overly-righteous (especially in fiction) that Paladins oftentimes get penalties to hiding in crowds, due to how PAINFULLY OBVIOUS it is that they’re a Paladin.

      I was going somewhere with this, but I had forgotten.

      1. Vabolo

        To be fair, wearing shiny plate armour with the logo of your character’s religious institution on a big cape isn’t very discrete.

        1. Rikushadow5

          Shiny Armor is always a giveaway.

  20. 47

    My first thought was OMG, MALE JOYCE. Because they have the same bangs. And practically the same hair color.

    Nice that Joyce seems to have found a kindred spirit – wonder how he wound up at this party. Still, it’s odd that he doesn’t have a name, since even minor background characters have gotten tags (I’m not familiar with the main Walkyverse outside of Shortpacked!, though, so it could be just for the characters he’s used before).
    Or maybe it’ll be for a twist, like “Drunk Mike” wasn’t a part of the tags in the last Shortpacked! arc until partway through.

    1. Thor

      Kindred spirit, my tush.

      My bet is he’s the guy who pretends to be a good Christian boy who is also “accidentally” at the party with all the heathens. He then homes in on the “good girl” who was dragged here by all her new sinful friends. He flashes a little Bible razzle-dazzle around to prove that he’s on their side, and then moves in for the kill.

      I don’t trust this guy at all.

      1. iSaidCandleja-

        That was my initial thought, but it is just as likely that he is a recent convert who is checking in with “old friends” that he hasn’t seen much since becoming religious. Perhaps he used to date Roz.

  21. NakedDumblydore

    This guy should be named either Jules or Samuel. And the next Bible verse he quotes will be Ezekiel 25:17.

    1. GinzaMary

      LOL – You know I actually own the wallet that goes with that reference. I think Mike does too, it’s where he keeps his nickles.

    2. Joraiem

      No no no, Ezekiel 23:20.

      “There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.”

      Try putting THAT on a card at a baseball game.

  22. Batgirl

    The only people I know that can quote the bible that well are atheists.

  23. OmegaDez

    What? There’s more lunatics like Joy around?

  24. Dierna

    He’s probably Catholic…

    1. Mkvenner

      You got something against Catholics?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Joyce seems to belong to a denomination that uses Chick Tracts, if this guy was Catholic, this would generate friction between the two.

        1. Mkvenner

          Ah I see.

        2. Jetstream

          If it’d make you feel better, though, as someone who was raised catholic, I have something against that particular denomination 😀

          Y’know, since that seems to be what you were looking for.

    2. MM

      I thought randomly quoting Bible verses at people to see whether they were part of the tribe (flock? I dunno) was more of an evangelical thing.

    3. JesseJanitect

      He´s probably not Catholic. As a general rule, Catholics don’t know the bible that well. The only Catholics who actually do know the bible well enough to quote it like that are seminarians/priests/novitiates/nuns, or took a religion class taught by a convert.

  25. Conuzor

    Maybe he’s Westboro Baptist Church. Just so we can see Joyce be all like “Yo! that shit’s WRONG!”

    1. Mkvenner

      There to far east.

      1. Joraiem

        But they are at college! Maybe somehow one of them managed to cheat well enough on their SATs to get into a good college.

        Although I doubt any Westboro Baptist people know the Bible that well.

  26. ALostProphet

    Christian!/ Christian!/ At last/ You’re ^ on your/ o-/ o-/ oooooown

    ^not^
    If you get that reference, you win. You win everything.

    1. Aizat

      Christian’s theme before he went to TNA, right?

      1. Aizat

        And after E&C broke up, right?

        1. ALostProphet

          Holy Shit! You got that? You rock, dude. seriously.

        2. Aizat

          Well, I used to be a huge wrestling fan.

        3. ALostProphet

          Were you the one who quoted RKO’s theme song a while back?

        4. Aizat

          Yes I am.

        5. ALostProphet

          “See the Old School wrestling fans are having a chuckle right now. The rest of you? *Makes hand over head motion* Whoosh!”

        6. Spazman

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCy8MpT45gk

          and yeah, it’s over my head, but….

  27. thatgirlwiththeglasses

    Am I the only one who thinks he looks awfully familiar? Was he Ruth’s boyfriend when she was in high school who just used her for sex?

    1. Rikushadow5

      Reason I thought he looked familiar at first was that he sortof looks like Danny. I immidiately disproved this, however.

    2. Mkvenner

      Oh Ryan. *Death Stare*

      1. Mkvenner

        Through a scope.

    3. GinzaMary

      Not really. That guy had longer hair and an Emo/Quasi-Goth look.

      1. Mkvenner

        Roomies Redux.

    4. Joana

      I think he looks like a slimmer Joe with a bit of Danny and Joyce’s hair.

    5. narmenduke

      Definitely Ryan: http://www.joyceandwalky.com/d/20070221.html

      1. Taigan

        I was just rereading the archives and came across this strip. Didn’t remember it from before, but as soon as I saw it I was like “Oh crap.”

    6. Erinaceus

      Uh Oh… to cite It’s walky: “But i was just reciting a script, that Ryan deciphered and took advantage of. He knew exactly what to say[…]”
      I think he just deciphered Joyce and is now trying to get into her pants…

    7. Danny

      I don’t think he’s Ryan. He actually looks like Jake Manley, who was a Robin-based character in Shortpacked! …

    8. spsook

      Wait – that guy was Ruth’s skeezy boyfriend in the IW! continuity! The one who she slept with when Walky got abducted and the whole Ruth going horribly cynical bit! OH MY GOD.

  28. Steve Horton

    In the next scene, Matt Damon shows him up with a better Bible quote and then gets Joyce’s number.

    1. Joraiem

      And then jumps through the window. Because he’s Matt Damon.

  29. Mkvenner

    Wait could this be a dead brother of Joyce’s and then everything goes Due South*.

    * If you get the Canadian reference here you win comedy.

    1. Undrave

      then Joyce tastes dog poop.

  30. Digidestined of Trust (Tim)

    Looked it up in my KJV and I’m thinking you got this verse from either the ASV or ESV, however it’s still the correct meaning from what I see in the KJV.

    I’ll add in verses 4 and 5 as prefaces to the passage above: But ye, brethren, are not in darkness, that that day should overtake you as a thief. Ye are all the children of light, and the children of the day” we are not of the night, nor of darkness.

    I do remember that Joyce prayed a couple strips back before they got there for guidance and safety. Looks like she got a guardian angel to keep her strong and same goes for him.

    1. Mkvenner

      KJV is just Stuart propaganda.

    2. John

      With the benefit of hindsight, this comment becomes ironically delicious.

  31. Wackd

    It’s one of Joyce’s five brothers. She hasn’t remarked upon it because really, no need to from an in-universe preservative.

    1. Rikushadow5

      That’d actually make sense. Of course, rarely does much make sense until hindsight, if Willis’ pattern is to be believed.

    2. Mkvenner

      Due South.

  32. Anthrax451

    He’s got the Leslie nose. And eyes

    1. Mkvenner

      No that’s just Willis’s artistic style or he just to lazy.

      1. iSaidCandleja-

        Or he is related to Leslie. Compare the hair style, nose, and outfit.

        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/06-yesterday-was-thursday/twerp/

        1. Vabolo

          Nah, their noses seem pretty different (Leslie’s is concave, this guy’s seems flat). They may share the same hair stylist, however.

  33. Plasma Mongoose

    “When you start off with a Bible verse, things can only get worse.”

    1. Aizat

      Yeah, just ask Bret or what remains of him anyways.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Bret??

        1. ALostProphet

          *Checks Walkypedia* *finds nothing*
          Nope, no idea.

        2. Aizat

          As in that guy that got shot multiple times in Pulp Fiction.

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          Ah I see.

        4. ryan

          he didn’t get to enjoy any sprite before he died either!

  34. Scot

    Hang on, isn’t that the guy who made the sex tape with Robin in Shortpacked?

    1. GinzaMary

      OMG it is Jake! http://www.shortpacked.com/2010/comic/book-12/06-bi-partisan/cadbury-2/

      1. Scot

        Yep, I guess he’s here to meet Roz and make sex tape #2.

    2. Ryune

      Jake Manley! That’s what I thought.

    3. ALostProphet

      Maybe

      http://www.shortpacked.com/2009/comic/book-8/07-when-robin-didnt-meet-that-other-guy/skittles/

      1. Sir Robin

        I thought it was him too, just like he deflowered Robin I think he may do the same to Joyce

  35. NF

    A non-tagged character speaks! We live in exciting times.

    1. Jackson

      Let us speculate about him for two hundred comments.

  36. tdm88

    Is he flirting? He just looks kind of uncomfortable to me.

    1. iSaidCandleja-

      Flirting would be uncomfortable if he was the best socialized from his homeschool group.

  37. Digidestined of Trust (Tim)

    Daggone! I just realized that guy looks kind of like me when I don’t have glasses on! Facial Expressions, dress the same kind of way, listening styles and everything. The only difference is I haven’t gone up to someone and quoted a verse off the bat, at least not in recent memory. I don’t tend to remember doing things like that until about a year or so later. I have a random memory span.

    It’s possible that she found a church to go to Wednesday night service at and met the guy which is why he was so comfortable to come up and just whip out a verse so quickly. I think also he was more asking as to why she would be there.

  38. TemplarKnight

    Sigh. . .this guy’s gonna turn out to be a bastard isn’t he?

    1. Aizat

      You mean those guys that scalped Nazis? Or the other bastard?

  39. ZelderTheElder

    In a very special cameo appearance, Tycho from Penny Arcade will be appearing today!

    1. David

      hahaha

    2. Virus

      *Ctrl-F, search for ‘tycho’*
      Ah, somebody thought the same thing I did! Now I’m sure Mr Brahe could quote appropriate verses, he’s just educated like that. But Joyce is going to be disappointed, since he’s another outspoken atheist. Despite interacting with Jesus on a semi regular basis.

    3. Matt Boyd

      Brought here by a ctrl-F to see if anyone had made this joke yet.

    4. Jason L.

      Yay for CTRL-F for saving me from duping the Tycho comment!

    5. LBD "Nytetrayn"

      I, too, am here thanks to the modern convenience known as “CTRL+F.”

    6. Ernst

      Came for this. Thanks, CTRL-F!

    7. Plasma Mongoose

      Todays Episode was brought to you by the key Ctrl and the key F… BYEBYE now! *waves*

  40. ALostProphet

    Maybe it’s her brother, who she’s not on good terms with? The near-identical hair is probably meant to give the impression of compatability, or blood relation. Just a guess.

  41. Vabolo

    Wait…This guy seems too perfect. Which means we all expect him to have a dark, terrible secret. But that’s what Willis WANTS us to believe, so he’ll make him turn out to be a pretty good guy, just to make us wait for the day he cracks, to no avail. And then, when we give up on the idea that he has a sick, twisted secret, WHAM! He’s the Antichrist!

    The perfect crime.

    1. Doom Shepherd

      Naah, that’s what everybody thought about Jacob in the other continuity.

      Nobody’s normal.

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      Poor Willis, he has to rewrite his newer comics now so you cannot see through his plot twists.

  42. Plasma Mongoose

    An amusing twist for me would be if it turned out that this guy was either Salvation Army or SDA.

  43. Asuka L.S.

    There’s something about this guy that I don’t like. I can’t explain it, but I don’t like him.

    1. GinzaMary

      Well, apparently he is drawn with the standard character design Willis uses for characters that sleep with main characters when they make VERY Bad Sexual Decisions. That could have something to do with it.

      1. numaron

        That could explain it. I’m with Asuka I don’t trust this guy. He’s too convenient.

      2. iSaidCandleja-

        Mike made very bad sexual decisions with your mom. He overpaid.

        1. Aizat

          A quarter?

        2. A random reader

          She wishes she was worth a quarter. He paid a nickel, and that was still overpaying.

    2. vlademir1

      Well, he did just walk up to some random girl at a college party and quote a bible verse… that is a pretty good start to a reason not to like him right there.

    3. vlademir1

      Forgot to mention just how appropriate your gravatar there is to my POV.

  44. ALostProphet

    The jocks from before, but no BEEF? Travesty!

    1. iSaidCandleja-

      Grunt?

    2. Aizat

      Where’s the Beef?

  45. xaan

    Oh god. It’s my ex-boyfriend. Down to the hair and the sweater and the Bible verses at parties. Hide me.

    1. Kirt Dankmyer

      So, how bad was the sex?

  46. Plasma Mongoose

    If panel one is anything to go by, Joyce’s sweater pups are of the Saint Bernard variety.

  47. Socks

    why does that character look familiar? (he kinda looks like danny but i feel like i’ve seen him somewhere else before)

    1. Socks

      AH! mike avatar! must …. think … of … insulting … COMMENT!

      …. i’m horrible at this, i can’t think of anything mean/funny D:

    2. Bekah

      I think that’s Drew…

      1. Bekah

        I could also be very, very, very wrong.

        By “could be” I mean “am”

  48. Lee

    I predict that Joyce will have zero interest in this man by the end of the night.

    1. Soundbucket

      that gravatar matches your post PERFECTLY

    2. MM

      End of the night? He’s not Jewish. She’s got no reason to be interested in him now. :p

  49. lightsabermario

    It’s obvious why he originally came to that party. He heard that Roz, the resident “sexual deviant”, was holding a party, and he came to Bible-thump her. Essentially, he was trying to do the same thing Danny tried to do, but for Jesus. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have any reason to come to a party where he would be completely uninterested, and there should be next to no chance of anyone puritanical like Joyce coming. While there, he happened to see someone as uninterested as him, and tried to make the best of it.

    Of course, he could just be the roommate of the party thrower, but that would make him equally annoyed and seeking someone like him.

    That being said, I’m betting he’ll turn out to be too much of a Bible-thumper even for Joyce, which would be in keeping with Willis’s beating-a-religious-dead-horse writing style. And he won’t turn out to be a different type of Christian (or that won’t be why it wouldn’t work) because all of Christianity is the same to Willis.

    1. MM

      I like this theory. I’m going to run with it until Willis proves otherwise.

    2. G.S.Mercs

      I don’t think so. I’d like to think Willis is a lot more diverse than that. Yes, he makes fun of religion, but he makes fun of everything. In this comic, we’ve seen Joyce acting like a “good” Christian at times, and not all of Willis’s characters who are Christian are horrible people. Some are, but mostly, he has them with some faults, which is what a character needs. And in the comments threads he’s commented numerous times on the difference between different sects in Christianity. So I’m not sure where you’re drawing your conclusion from

      1. Kaylee

        I thought that Robin’s Catholicism in Shortpacked! was pretty well developed.

  50. Ess

    That’s no soulmate.
    That’s a distaff counterpart.

  51. Malph

    Do I hear wedding bells? Cause it’s really pissing me off.

    Who the hell’s getting married at 12:50 am?

  52. Shifty

    This will end in a tears, won’t it?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      That or a sex video.

      1. Shifty

        Wouldn’t a sex video result in tears when Joyce realizes she made a sex video?

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          The only way Joyce would cry after finding out she made a sex video is if her mind was still intact, otherwise you are not likely to get much responce from a vegetable.

  53. Matrix374

    This updates every day?
    holy moley

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Mon to Fri

  54. MuleyBob

    I don’t think the young man was being judgemental of the other party goers. I think he recognized the young ladies discomfort with her present enviorment and spoke her a word from Scripture that explained both why she was uncomfortable and that it was okay for her to be so.

  55. Kisai

    People who quote scripture (book:verse) are usually more on the hardcore side… but then again such people wouldn’t go to a party.

    I’m thinking this guy is more of a player and just has prepared statements for picking up girls.

  56. Tenn

    Crap, it’s not Jake Manley (nose is too big). He still looks familiar, though.

  57. narmenduke

    I was going to comment about how I didn’t understand why everyone took such a dislike to him…and then I realized he was Ryan, the guy who just used Ruth for sex. So…shit.

  58. ryan

    i thought the proper way for a hardcore christian to respond to a bible quote was with another bible quote

    1. Tara

      I thought the proper way to respond to a bible quote was to roll your eyes and slowly back away.

  59. Jimmy

    This boy is so lucky that Joyce is the one he decided to try this pick up line on.

    1. MeHael

      Presuming that he hasn’t already tried it a few times off-panel.

  60. Indigo

    Is that Manley?

    1. Kaylee

      He is Manley!

      (Pun fully intended.)

  61. Robert in San Diego

    1. Is he judging the other party-goers, or just having a bit of a reaction to a large party with alcohol and a few ostentatious binge drinkers? (Note: I know Christians who moderately drink at parties, Christians who drink too much at parties, and agnostics and atheists who don’t drink at parties).

    2. Are all the wallflowers at this party being planted by the closet? Sometimes that happens.

    3. One of the Epistolary books of the New Testament being obscure? I’ve heard preachers who seem to use 1 and 2 Thessalonians as, for lack of a better term, “New Testament Proverbs Lite” You want obscure, try Malachi in the OT, or Sirach (WARNING: Sirach is considered by most if not all Protestant denominations to be “Apocryphal,” and some people have a problem with that).

    4. Joyce is doing an excellent job of observing.

    5. I don’t think this guy is “on the make,” more like, as with Joyce, his new college friends said “let’s go to a party” and he tagged along.

    1. begbert2

      Actually, his chosen verse says that good Christians should be at home right then, meaning that he’s actually criticizing Joyce for being out at night, and also criticizing himself if he happens to be a Christian too.

      Or maybe he just picked a vaguely appropriate sounding verse in the hopes of impressing her in the hopes of getting a necking session started. Tune in tomorrow for the thrilling continuation!

  62. Arkadi

    A new challenger appears? :3

  63. Shay Crest

    You know, @Indigo, you’re right. That guy looks like he might be Jake Manley’s younger brother.

    1. fellixe

      His brother Les?

  64. Rachel

    Hooray, a new character!! 😀

  65. Sili

    Personally, I think that Songs of Songs has better pickup lines.

  66. Plasma Mongoose

    6.So den, we noes be liek otherz, who be sleepins, but we be, liek, alert an’ has controwls of ourselvez.
    7.’Coz de peeps who be sleepin’, dey sleepin’ at nites, an’ de peeps who be gettin’ drunk, an fallin’ oveh, an’ noes in control of demselvez, deys doin’ dis at nites too.

    1 Thessalonians 5:6-7 LOLCat Bible

    1. fellixe

      I can haz forgivins? K’ thx bye!

  67. Ronin

    So THAT’s what Joyce & Walky’s kid woulda looked like!

  68. Creaks

    Batman also belongs to the night and the darkness.

    …
    …….

    And now I cant stop thinking about drunk batman.

  69. a

    EVERYONE
    It’s Evan!

  70. Negative Progress

    He looks like a male version of Joyce. Or a dumbiverse version of Tycho Brahe.

  71. jjareds

    I might be a bit behind the curve here, but this is the douche bag that took advantage of Ruth in the last series, why am I just nownoticing this?

  72. Raticate5

    And
    this     is what she should be thinking

  73. newllend

    There going too be sooo mutch rape up in this bongo

  74. ubun7u43v3r

    …Tycho from Penny Arcade is guest starring in this strip?

  75. Corvidium

    Oh shit, I remember that nose

  76. Rheios

    I find this amusing, because I’m fairly certain I’ve been all of those things at all of those times. Simultaneously once or twice.

  77. BrokenEye, True False Prophet

    “I will put your flesh on the mountains, and fill the valleys with your maggot-infested carcass.”

    Ezekiel 32:5

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