183

Cold turkey
Posted on June 17, 2013 by David M Willis
The ad networks of several webcomics were compromised by some jerk this morning.  Though there was never any actual malware, a script was uploaded that flagged the site itself as malware to Google and Firefox and what have you.  And so when you get the warning, you can click "Advanced" and go on through the site as normal, if you want.  If you don't want (and if so, how are you here?????????) I'll be posting my comics to my Tumblr until the warning expires. This is dumb and I'm sorry.

183 thoughts on “Cold turkey”

  1. xain

    wow a few days ago i wasn’t far off

    1. xain

      except i was expecting billie to follow her into the shower for other reasons but this is good

      1. Scott

        I think I like your version better. >_>

        1. Undrave

          Me too. This conversation would have been much better with both naked in the shower :p

        2. Yotomoe

          I argue it would be better if they were both clothed in the shower just…talking casually as they ruin their clothes.

        3. Leonou

          The fabric adhering to them, underligning the evocative curves of their young bodies. As the water floods, their clothes start getting transparent. Ruth slowly passes her hand accross Billie’s hair and removes her hair band. When touched, Billie first shivers but she then closes her eyes and starts leaning toward Ruth …

        4. Scott

          Go on. >_>

        5. Yotomoe

          You’ve ruined my comedy with your porn…
          Now I understand how every cartoon ever feels.

        6. Scott

          Rule 34. Dealwithit.jpeg

        7. Leonou

          As Billie starts leaning toward Ruth’s breast, she suddenly loses her balance and slips on floor. Trying to hold on to something she grabs the faucet and floods them both under cold water. They rush out of the booth with their drenched clothes and run into Joyce. Joyce is heart-broken by Billie’s treason, she whispers “But … I thought I was your shower buddy !?”
          Hilarity ensues ?

        8. Lord Geovanni

          Youfool what have you done. never let anyone censor rule 34. that is a greater power than the power of life and death

      2. arjay2813

        it’s not like this isnt one of those pages that launches a thousand ships…at all…

        good trope for just about any of willis’ pages

        1. Ryorin

          …is there ANY page of a Willis comic that doesn’t launch a thousand ships?

        2. Undrave

          When there’s only one character?

        3. desolation0

          Then they just get stuck playing with their dinghy.

        4. Lilly

          Ironically, only his comic about Helen of Troy, so he cut it from the series.

      3. nothri

        “except i was expecting billie to follow her into the shower for other reasons but this is good”

        Considering I had already written this storyline off as being more or less over and suddenly Monday gives us Ruth in a towel, I frankly think sky’s the limit here! The week is young, let’s just see what happens.

  2. Jen Aside

    I’d quit cold turkey–that stuff’s bleh even when hot =p

    1. ASmellyOgre

      You have clearly never had a proper turkey.

      1. David Herbert

        You mean they’ve been selling fake turkeys?

        1. davidbreslin101

          The notorious “Tofurky”.

    2. Big Drahma

      You get one of these: http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view1/1900989/statler-waldorf-o.gif

    3. Wonder Wig

      Reminds me of a John Pinette joke. 🙂

  3. Big Drahma

    FRECKLES… YESSSSSSSS….

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Dotty has some competition now.

      1. Doctor_Who

        They are both cute and wear glasses. Dorothy is nerdier, but Ruth is tougher and has red hair.

        I don’t know which to choose!

        1. Yotomoe

          Always go with the redhead.

        2. xain

          choose both and start your virtual harem today!

        3. John

          Billie is the hottest.

      2. Totz the Plaid

        Dudes, Dorothy has shoulder freckles, but Ruth has ALL-OVER freckles.

        Ruth wins. Hands down.

        1. Leonou

          But Dorothy can quote whole episodes of “Dexter and Monkey Master” !

    2. Emoroffle

      My thoughts exactly.

  4. Plasma Mongoose

    Billie, I am pretty sure that AA buddies are not supposed to stop you drinking by taking their booze and drink it yourself.

    1. Mason Kramer

      But… it works for one of them!

      1. Leonou

        But the objective of AA buddies is for all of them to stop drinking , not just one of them. Thus Billie’s technique of swipping and drinking her buddie’s booze doesn’t work.
        Unless they both do it in turns, then I guess it would work.

        For a certain definition of “work”.

  5. Geminia999

    Great advice from willis, I bet he knows from experience!

  6. Blue

    I just really, really like how you captured Ruth’s wet hair.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      The same hair that will clog up the drainhole and freak out Joyce again.

      1. Scott

        Yes, but everything freaks Joyce out. >_>

      2. Yotomoe

        All according to Ruth’s plan.

  7. Uniqueantique

    Ever thought about AA?

    1. Raen

      I hear their chips make good coasters.

    2. Aizat

      What about Quitters Inc.?

      1. Undrave

        They all gave up before the thing really got started.

    3. Doctor_Who

      Amazi-Girl Anonymous?

      But then Ruth would have to reveal her secret identity!

    4. Luzahn

      Hm, They don’t really seem the types for the god bits of that.

    5. David

      Billie might be fine with it, but Ruth might have a problem with about half of the Twelve Steps being about Jesus.

      1. ArkhamTexan

        I fail to see how a guy whose first miracle was to keep the party going would be any sort of choice to be a part of an alcohol-quitting program.

        1. Valerie

          I hope you don’t mind, but I so had to share that on FB. I never even thought about it!

        2. Ruck Bogers

          I often use this argument against my friends who try to use Christianity as an excuse to not drink.

          Hey! Your God made, distributed, and, in all likelihood, drank alcohol.

        3. partinobodycular

          He turned his own blood into wine.

      2. Plasma Mongoose

        Is there an Atheist Alcoholics Anonymous?

        1. Yotomoe

          There is but for some reason they keep getting calls from people looking for the American Automotive Association.

        2. Scott

          I wonder why that could possibly be.

        3. Raen

          I hear Dr. House is a member.

        4. hmrc4evr

          There was but Triple A sued them.

        5. Vert

          There are alternative organizations, but the Christianity-based AA is the one judges force people to attend or face jail time. Separation of church and state? Not in MY ‘MURKA!

      3. abjuron

        B-but David, the steps only refer to a “Higher Power”! It’s not just Jesus! Honest! Ask any AA proselytizer! It’s not like they say the Lord’s Prayer at every meeting and blatantly shame you into converting at your weakest momen–oh…wait…

      4. Hotsauce

        If memory serves, Rational Recovery (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rational_Recovery) has a success rate comparable to AA. Which is to say, piss-poor.

  8. Scott

    Ruth’s on to her!

    1. Aizat

      And some folks wants Ruth to be on top of her.

      1. Scott

        I am one of those people. 😀

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          So two Ruth/Billie and one Billie/Ruth so far.

        2. Scott

          Actually, I don’t particularly care who’s on top as long as it happens.

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          Fair enough! ^_^

  9. Aizat

    Freckles everywhere.

  10. Robdeweese

    So… they’re sort of married now, huh?

    1. John

      Nah, they’d have to go to sort of Iowa for that.

  11. NerdHerder

    Dem freckles.

    1. Scott

      Dem freckle comments.

      1. Aizat

        Dem comments about freckle comments.

        1. Scott

          Dem commenters commenting on commenters comments. >_>

        2. Scott

          Comenters’ *

        3. Aizat

          Dem commenters commenting on dem commenters commenting on commenters comment

        4. Scott

          Dem redundant statements

        5. Undrave

          Dem crazy interwebs people.

        6. Scott

          Dem “sane” interwebs people

        7. Totz the Plaid

          “Dem crazy interwebs people.”

          Is there any other kind?

        8. Scott

          Exactly.

        9. Plasma Mongoose

          Connect dem dots.

        10. Yotomoe

          They say “Fuck YOU”.
          Also I beg Willis to make this Canon.

        11. RobHagen

          …Connect dem dots. Ah la la. Connect dem dots. Ah la la…

        12. ninja_jesus

          OH MY GOD YES.

          Wow, that’s a hell of a nostalgia wave right there. Thanks, Pee-Wee’s Playhouse.

        13. xKiv

          But there’s only one Dot?

  12. Doctor_Who

    Fun fact: I’ve lost 40 pounds since November (210 to 170).

    Funner fact: Step 1 was eating everything remotely unhealthy in my apartment, including 4 pints of Ben & Jerry’s, 2 full size bags of Doritos, and half a birthday cake.

    I couldn’t look at junk food for nearly a week, which got me off to a great start.

    1. Scott

      That’s one way to do it, I guess. I still can’t drink Skittles vodka after I drank too much the night of my birthday and spent the whole night puking. -__-

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      You lost 40 pounds? How much is that in Australian dollars? 😛

      1. Doctor_Who

        At 41-50 per pound, I’d say it’s about 1640-2000 shrimp on the barbie.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          That’s a lot of seafood.

    3. Core279

      In other words, you burnt yourself out on junk food, which is quite effective for quitting something. =P

    4. Yotomoe

      Or maybe all of that junk food killed you and now you’re decaying?

      1. Scott

        A distinct possibility.

      2. Doctor_Who

        Going with the “take username literally” thing, I’ll just say I gave myself a heart attack and regenerated into someone thinner.

        1. xain

          are you now obsessed with bow ties and fezzes

        2. Kai Gon

          uh-oh! I’d strongly liked to know how that works! 😉

  13. Kernanator

    Wow, Ruth looks really good with wet hair.

    1. Undrave

      Every girl looks hotter with wet hair. It’s basically a scientific fact.

      1. Scott

        No, I think that’s something else you’re thinking of. >_>

      2. Kai Gon

        In my opinion it’s hotter when there’s no hair where it’s wet … }:->

        1. Josh

          So… bald girls showering? 😉

        2. Leorale

          Whatever lifts your luggage!

        3. xKiv

          Dah’ling, it’s hotter down where it’s wetter, no hair under sheets?

  14. Kernanator

    Also, this is a fantastic plan and I fail to see how it can possibly go wrong.

  15. Pinja

    Please let there be sexy shower times
    Please let there be sexy shower times
    Please let there be sexy shower times
    Please let there be sexy shower times
    Please let there be sexy shower times
    Please let there be sexy shower times
    Please let there be sexy shower times
    Please let there be sexy shower times
    Please let there be sexy shower times
    Please let there be sexy shower times
    Please let there be sexy shower times
    Please let there be sexy shower times
    Please let there be sexy shower times

    1. Scott

      Yes! 😀

    2. Neospector

      Doing chants to ask the God of Falling for fanservice, are we?
      I’m sorry, I’ve been waiting forever to reference this. Literally, forever. I have dreams of making a demotivational poster with the caption “All the ‘ladies men’ in the house, bow before your god.”

      1. Scott

        I don’t think you quite literally mean “forever,” seeing as human life expectancy is somewhere between 47 and 86 years of age (depending on your location).

        1. Josh

          The need to post that comment has preserved his life-force since the beginning of time.

          He can now finally pass away in peace.

        2. Neospector

          No no, I still have to find Funimation dubbed Fairy Tail.
          Then I can leave.

  16. Yotomoe

    JEEZ, Why’s there so many comments on this alre-
    Oh…that’s why.

    1. Aizat

      On what?

      1. Yotomoe

        …the comic.

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      “Create some fanservice and they will come”.

      1. timemonkey

        Pfft, if you want me to come we need to get some dudes up in here.

        Good looking dudes, not like Jason or Jacob.

        1. Yotomoe

          I guess my opinion on what qualifies as a good lookin’ dude is flawed. I’m a failure at dude rating…

        2. Nono

          Wait, what are the other options? Joe in his underwear? Ethan pin-up? Walky in a vat of caramel with only his head and legs sticking out?

        3. timemonkey

          Joe and Walky aren’t bad. Ethan does nothing for me though. But yeah, the options are fairly limited. Lots of pretty ladies, not so much with the dudes.

      2. Aizat

        Come, huh? I’m sorry, my mind has been way too long in the gutter.

  17. hmrc4evr

    Is it me or are they focusing on the booze because-while important-it’s easier to talk about that vs the elephant in the roo? i.e. What exactally does Ruth feel for Billie and what Billie has been thinking since the kiss?

    1. Scott

      I’ve been dying to know just that. I hope they talk about it soon!

    2. Yotomoe

      There’s an Elephant in a Roo? Someone Alert Plas! This is clearly an Australian emergency!!!

      1. Doctor_Who

        Wasn’t that a Very Special Episode of Winnie the Pooh about child molestation?

        No wait, that was “Help, There’s a Heffalump in the Roo!”

        …I’m going to hell for sure.

        1. Scott

          “I’d rather laugh with the sinner than cry with the saints…”

        2. Scott

          “The sinners are much more fun…”

        3. Drazisil

          Which explains why I’ll be living forever with the rest of you 😉

        4. John

          o/’ ‘Cause only the good die young… o/’

          Hmm. Maybe being a bongo is this-universe Ruth’s life insurance policy. She would, now that I think about it, have survived in the other universe if she’d been a little less nice and self-sacrificing.

      2. Doctor Lantern

        I thought you were going to take this in a Winnie the Pooh direction of reference… then I thought about how gross that would actually be…

        An elephant in a Roo? Was it a hephalump, or a woozle?

        1. Scott

          Woozles are rodents. >_>

  18. ArkhamTexan

    When I was seventeen/I had a fake ID…

    1. Yotomoe

      You kids and your fake IDs…Can’t you just wait to vote like the rest of us!?
      (Internet points for anyone who can guess what movie I just saw)

      1. alicemacher

        Is it the The Breakfast Club?

        “Why do you have a fake ID?”

        “So I can vote.”

        1. Yotomoe

          Yep. 50 Points for GUNDERSTANK.

        2. Aizat

          What, no love for Weaselthorp?

        3. Yotomoe

          I HATE WEASELTHORP!!!

    2. Scott

      “This one time, at band camp…”

      1. Aizat

        Have you ever been to a Turkish prison?

    3. Totz the Plaid

      “When I was 17
      I had a very good beer
      I had a very good beer I purchased
      With a fake ID
      My name was Bryan McGee
      I stayed up listening to Queen
      When I was 17.”

    4. Scott

      “She was just 17,
      You know what I mean…”

      1. Kelly

        Steely Dan and Billy Joel? I like your taste in music!

        1. Kamino Neko

          … That’s the Beatles….

  19. vloophole

    Is Billie always bent over like that when she stands? She might need to see a chiropractor.

    Also YES. VERY YES. Quit booze together, and soon you’ll do other things together.

    1. John

      She’s, probably subconsciously, putting her face lower and closer to Ruth, to make herself appear smaller and more vulnerable and increase intimacy, so she can look up at Ruth with that earnest, appealing look in panel 1. It’s good body language; it just looks kind of funny from the side, from a distance.

      (I’m valiantly resisting segueing into other ways Billie could get more intimate while she’s down there.)

      1. Josh

        Personally I think she’s just going for the motorboat.

  20. Arkadi

    Ye gods, the shipping readings are off the scale!

    1. hmrc4evr

      Spock tried to anaylize the shipping readings with his tricorder months ago.

      He’s still waiting for the replacement from Starfleet HQ.

    2. RobHagen

      Going to need to make a new shipping scale for this one. Or get a bigger twinkie…

  21. RaijinK

    So it hasn’t even been one day yet, right? Otherwise it would be a new storyline?

    1. Scott

      What do you mean?

    2. RaijinK

      I mean I expect the next line from Ruth to be “What the hell. It hasn’t even been 15 minutes. I literally just went to take a shower after the fire alarm thing was over.”

      1. Scott

        It’s probably the same day.

  22. Becky

    If the first step to quitting alcohol is to drink all your booze, then I should tell all my friends who drink that, if any of them develop a problem, I will happily take their alcohol off their hands so they can quit cold turkey.

    Unless it’s Bud Light. They can go ahead and toss that shit.

  23. Bunivasal

    It’s weird thinking that I drinkers ham two alcoholic comic characters. But don’t think of myself as a alcoholic.

    1. Scott

      Have you been drinking today? >_>

    2. Bunivasal

      Haha, oh iPhone.

      1. Scott

        Gotcha. I got an auto-corrected text from my little sis the other day saying that her boyfriend “monograms” (supposed to be “Jonathan”) was going to visit Perú.

        1. Bunivasal

          Good you bought that.

  24. Rocketboy1313

    While I know she is not a nice person my own predisposition toward redheads makes her very attractive.

    Her freckles… I would like to play connect the dots with my tongue.

    1. Bill M.

      Damn it. Due to my predilection for sleep, you beat me to what I was going to say…

      I too want to connect her freckles with my tongue.

  25. Kurai Seraphim

    So… shower glasses?

    1. Baroncognito

      You might not need the glasses to shower, but there are plenty of people who couldn’t find their way back to their rooms without their glasses on.

      1. Scott

        A bunch of my hall mates are like that.

      2. Kurai Seraphim

        Oh, I’m horribly blind without mine; I just never used them in the shower when I was in school. I admittedly had it a bit easier given my dorms were in the suite layout rather than the hall layout, so I guess it never occurred to me that some people with more than a few doors to choose from would have trouble without them.

        I just assumed Ruth didn’t need them that badly given her conversation with Billie last week wasn’t all squinty. I forgot that Billie directly put her glasses in her hands and told her to put them on before showering, so the glasses here are actually continuity. Yay continuity!

      3. Kamino Neko

        Or to the shower in the first place.

  26. John Harmon

    I know that mentality. “If I eat all of this now, I won’t be tempted by it anymore!”.

    1. ninja_jesus

      It’s how I got through the first season of Naruto, and all of Inuyasha.

      God damn anime.

  27. Emoroffle

    Now Billie you must help Ruth out of that towel as well.

  28. Squeeeble

    This is the part where I hope they both just abuse alcohol rather than are physically dependant on it. Because much as its nice to have the occasional darkness, alcohol is a very dangerous drug to go cold turkey on.

  29. dreamshade

    “Hey, Ruth! Hey! Hey, Ruth! Maybe we should quit drinking alcohol!”

    “You drank it all, didn’t you?”

    “Nyoro~n…”

  30. showler

    Either Billie has terrible posture or there is some serious body language going on there.

  31. Intie

    I don’t really understand why Billie might want to “quit booze”. I don’t recall alcohol causing too much trouble for her before. Kind of applies to Ruth too, we haven’t seen alcohol affecting her work or everyday life negatively apart from one occasion when she got upset by a phonecall.

    1. vsophi

      She got a DUI and was subsequently kicked out of cheerleading.

      1. Intie

        Oh yeah, well except that.
        But that only happened once.

    2. salmo

      Wait, really? You think the booze hasn’t affected her life? The reason we haven’t seen it affect her life is because we haven’t seen her at all, because she’s been sloppy drunk in her room for days, neglecting all her duties.

      1. Intie

        Well everyone has some harder periods in their life, though if this is her reaction to every single conflict in her life then it is a problem. Also I had no idea she was gone for days. I have problems with understanding the passing of time in webcomics, that’s my fault, sorry for that.

  32. John

    Also, I’m sad that this strip doesn’t end like this recent (in some sense) Roomies! strip (no pun intended) did.

  33. taekwondogirl

    Hey Willis, I think there’s a malicious ad in The Hive Works. Firefox keeps telling me that there’s “badware” when I go to your sites, as well as other webcomics that have THW banner ads. I’ve sent them an email, but you should probably try to contact them as well.

    1. vsophi

      Same here. Bit worried. <:B

    2. Doctor Lantern

      I am having the same issue. Had to get through a warning page saying this was an “attack” site. Had the same issue over at QC. Hopefully this is resolved quickly.

    3. Lurlock

      Yeah, I had that both here and at Shortpacked. Also on Girls With Slingshots, so it’s not just Willis’s sites. Sorry for posting about it on the Roomies strip, but I wasn’t sure if these were safe and it was the only other way I knew to get the message to you. Glad to see it’s all back and working again.

  34. Pinja

    Please oh please let them kiss in tomorrow’s comic.

  35. nothri

    Ha! Its funny because alcohol addiction!

  36. LiveWire

    Or, as “Fausto” Leguizamo would say, “I’m not a quitter!”

  37. Koms

    This is why I like reading Mr. Willis’s comics. The coloring is so pretty. Especially second panel Ruth.

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