I mean, on robots becoming able to eat your corpse.
Sunny
Well, there were plans for a robot named EATR which would fuel itself by burning biological matter (wood and plants really) and be able to operate without a fuel tank or battery. But since it was being developed for the military the inevitable question was whether it would eat human corpses as well.
I hear the project was scrapped.
King Daniel
I remember reading about a prototype (named “Chew Chew the Gastrobot”, since I guess the punning potential what with it being a train-shaped robot that was powered by eating stuff was too good to pass up) which was actually built, though it only ran on sugar cubes so far as I remember.
Yeah, that’s what was confusing me. I figured they were at school, but then I haven’t ever seen a similar set up in a school. Not that there couldn’t be, it just doesn’t look “school-like” to me.
Needfuldoer
Maybe it’s a school with a “multipurpose room” instead of a separate gym and cafeteria, and those are gym mats on the wall?
Regalli
Those wavy marks on the walls are what’s throwing me. It makes it look a bit like they’re sitting in a booth, which no public school ever would have. But Irvin it does double time as a gym, those could be mats and I could see that. Not unheard of when space is a premium for the school, and if their school system lumps in sixth or even seventh grade with elementary instead of middle school then it makes perfect sense to me since elementary is particularly prone to the dreaded combo room.
This is one of those strips that’ll work really well with the sliding timescale, won’t it – after all, back when Dumbing of Age started, Ethan would’ve already been sixteen years old when the toy was released.
I liked that, though I admit it also amused me greatly to think that as of now he’s calling it vintage when it’s all of…what? 3 years old? 2? (which seems like pretty accurate thinking for your average pre-teen!)
That’s an entire book. I was amused by the assumption that all readers have frequent experience of berry-picking. Skinny-dipping in mineral oil sounds amusing . . . But it’s less dense than water, so you’d sink. Potentially very dangerous, especially if PCB oil (toxic).
I’m glad safety standards have improved.
Annonymouse
I was confused about your comment until I followed the link down that particular rabbit hole – time well wasted. XD
You know there’s something really… sad about these flashbacks and I can’t put my finger on it. Yeah, the teacher hit him (which is, ofc, wrong) but like.. there’s a buildup to something worse than that and it explains away why mike plays such a fine line of double edged asshole.
I’m almost starting to believe that current day mike does what he does out of a super round about way of kindness?? I don’t know. I’m reevaluating mike as a 1D spite man
I don’t think the teacher hit him? It looked to me that she pushed him out of the office (possibly after forcibly dragging him to the door, putting him even more off balance) and he fell as a result. I assumed the mark on his face was from that.
I mean, a teacher actually hitting a child is a massive step beyond the dickery we saw from her.
Bodily throwing a child is past the event horizon of terrible teaching.
Leorale
–ah, I misread your comment. I interpreted that she threw him, you interpreted that she dragged him and shoved him. That’s a more sensible reaction, but, it’s still pretty crazy-bad to do to a kid in one’s care.
Jason
Oh, I totally agree, it’s beyond not okay. But the alternatives are that she hit and then shoved a child, or hit a child hard enough for them to fall (the latter unlikely from how Mike falls). So yeah, for sure I could have phrased it better- but accidentally pushing a child over (but really not caring that you did so) is definitely overshadowed by purposely hitting them and THEN not caring that you pushed them over. That one just… feels… much worse to me?
After looking at the comic again, I have to agree with you. In the first panel he doesn’t have a mark/scratches on his face, after getting up he does. So it’s probably from the fall (weird position though).
Though shoving or even dragging a child out with enough momentum that it stumbles and falls does still go beyond the up-to-now-dickery of the teacher, imo.
BBCC
He didn’t land on the part of his face with the mark though. If the mark were from the fall, it’d be on his chin.
CoMa
Yeah, I know…maybe it’s from partly falling onto his arm? Or to just give him a roughened up look…?
Or he did get slapped and the mark took some time to appear.
Either way, shame on the teacher for either possible action.
after the previous one, where Mike gets slapped and shoved out of a room only to find Amber didn’t even wait for him, I’m expecting Amber and Ethan to be part of the cause of Mike becoming an asshole.
But also Mike seems so sad in these flashbacks. I feel compelled to give him a hug. I want to know what terrible things he experienced or witnessed that are behind is strained smile. Maybe his too-happy-to-be-true family hides some complex secrets after all. Come to think of it, Mike’s dad was not included in Willis’s latest “happy fathers day for all the three decent fathers in the dumbingverse” post.
And then cut to years later when ethan doesn’t care what people think about him being a turbonerd BUT does care about what they may think if he’s gay. Recalling the strip where he doesn’t want to be Gay Ethan he wants to be Transformers Nerd Ethan.
It’s 2018, they’re 18 now, so they’d be 9 in 2009. If they’re 12, it’d be 2012.
Coma
Well, three years does feel pretty long for a 10- or 12-year old.
If I remember that time, even becoming 14 felt like a whole decade passed until then.
I know it’s probably because as an adult, you have much more going on in your head and organisational-wise you are more invested in everything and you have to do much more tasks that are mostly time consumers, but even now I’m like:
It’s nearly JULY? Shit, how did THAT happen??!
CJ
There’s a distinct gap between last month feels like it was ages ago and the stuff I get done, though.
Ah best friendship. Can’t wait to see what turns Mike into such an acerbic arse. And how I presume Ethan and Amber won’t turn their backs on him because of whatever event causes the transformation.
The panel three line is weird. Mike is saying it as a statement, the same way he was telling the teacher, “It’s because she’s a girl.”. It’s like he figured something out and is just expressing it with no holding back.
Mike may not be holding back – but he’s not being mean, either.
That’s a pretty innocent looking face in panel 3.
Can’t wait to see what Willis has planned for him.
You’re probably on the money there. He’s young and probably hasn’t figured out how to say what just occured to him without it being exactly how he thought it. Like when kids write their thoughts down the way they think them. This is the verbal version. Probably.\_(°~°)_/ i’unno.
129 thoughts on “Vintage”
Ana Chronistic
inaction figures
Ana Chronistic
(they don’t eat your corpse)
Stephen Bierce
FOOTNOTE: Degree antiperspirant did a commercial campaign featuring InAction Figures. Now You Know.
Ana Chronistic
also the Jay and Silent Bob figures, I realise
Rodrigo
What if one of them is a decepticon?
nothri
The “They won’t eat your corpse” marketing campaign never seemed very popular, for some reason. Personally, I found that extremely reassuring.
erejnion
We’re working on that.
I mean, on robots becoming able to eat your corpse.
Sunny
Well, there were plans for a robot named EATR which would fuel itself by burning biological matter (wood and plants really) and be able to operate without a fuel tank or battery. But since it was being developed for the military the inevitable question was whether it would eat human corpses as well.
I hear the project was scrapped.
King Daniel
I remember reading about a prototype (named “Chew Chew the Gastrobot”, since I guess the punning potential what with it being a train-shaped robot that was powered by eating stuff was too good to pass up) which was actually built, though it only ran on sugar cubes so far as I remember.
Mitsukara
Actually, I’m pretty sure they made an Anakin Skywalker action figure which can eat your corpse: http://www.rebelscum.com/sagadxanakin.asp
butts
still makes morbid quips
good to know
Clif
Already makes morbid quips.
AnvilPro
Anyone who calls themselves a “Turbonerd” is actually a Super huge nerd
butts
hehehe, tur-boner’d
Yumi
Where are they in this strip?
Regalli
Cafetorium? At like the back? At school, apparently, so it’s either that or like, Art.
Yumi
Yeah, that’s what was confusing me. I figured they were at school, but then I haven’t ever seen a similar set up in a school. Not that there couldn’t be, it just doesn’t look “school-like” to me.
Needfuldoer
Maybe it’s a school with a “multipurpose room” instead of a separate gym and cafeteria, and those are gym mats on the wall?
Regalli
Those wavy marks on the walls are what’s throwing me. It makes it look a bit like they’re sitting in a booth, which no public school ever would have. But Irvin it does double time as a gym, those could be mats and I could see that. Not unheard of when space is a premium for the school, and if their school system lumps in sixth or even seventh grade with elementary instead of middle school then it makes perfect sense to me since elementary is particularly prone to the dreaded combo room.
King Daniel
This is one of those strips that’ll work really well with the sliding timescale, won’t it – after all, back when Dumbing of Age started, Ethan would’ve already been sixteen years old when the toy was released.
Haven
I like that this means that the toy will get increasingly more vintage as the comic goes on.
Lauren H
I liked that, though I admit it also amused me greatly to think that as of now he’s calling it vintage when it’s all of…what? 3 years old? 2? (which seems like pretty accurate thinking for your average pre-teen!)
Pat
And that’ll stop being a joke.
butts
2009 seems pretty recent for “vintage,” anyway. I mean, if you want to see some real vintage transformers…
wwwhhattt
<3
Bathymetheus
That’s an entire book. I was amused by the assumption that all readers have frequent experience of berry-picking. Skinny-dipping in mineral oil sounds amusing . . . But it’s less dense than water, so you’d sink. Potentially very dangerous, especially if PCB oil (toxic).
I’m glad safety standards have improved.
Annonymouse
I was confused about your comment until I followed the link down that particular rabbit hole – time well wasted. XD
Roborat
Hard to believe they used to swim in that stuff.
ARTSCHOOLRAGE
You know there’s something really… sad about these flashbacks and I can’t put my finger on it. Yeah, the teacher hit him (which is, ofc, wrong) but like.. there’s a buildup to something worse than that and it explains away why mike plays such a fine line of double edged asshole.
I’m almost starting to believe that current day mike does what he does out of a super round about way of kindness?? I don’t know. I’m reevaluating mike as a 1D spite man
Keulen
It’s kinda weird seeing some Mike backstory. I’m used to Walkyverse Mike where there really wasn’t any attempt to explain why he’s an asshole at all.
Jason
I don’t think the teacher hit him? It looked to me that she pushed him out of the office (possibly after forcibly dragging him to the door, putting him even more off balance) and he fell as a result. I assumed the mark on his face was from that.
I mean, a teacher actually hitting a child is a massive step beyond the dickery we saw from her.
BBCC
From the way he landed, any marks or such would be on his chin or lower face.
Leorale
Bodily throwing a child is past the event horizon of terrible teaching.
Leorale
–ah, I misread your comment. I interpreted that she threw him, you interpreted that she dragged him and shoved him. That’s a more sensible reaction, but, it’s still pretty crazy-bad to do to a kid in one’s care.
Jason
Oh, I totally agree, it’s beyond not okay. But the alternatives are that she hit and then shoved a child, or hit a child hard enough for them to fall (the latter unlikely from how Mike falls). So yeah, for sure I could have phrased it better- but accidentally pushing a child over (but really not caring that you did so) is definitely overshadowed by purposely hitting them and THEN not caring that you pushed them over. That one just… feels… much worse to me?
Coma
After looking at the comic again, I have to agree with you. In the first panel he doesn’t have a mark/scratches on his face, after getting up he does. So it’s probably from the fall (weird position though).
Though shoving or even dragging a child out with enough momentum that it stumbles and falls does still go beyond the up-to-now-dickery of the teacher, imo.
BBCC
He didn’t land on the part of his face with the mark though. If the mark were from the fall, it’d be on his chin.
CoMa
Yeah, I know…maybe it’s from partly falling onto his arm? Or to just give him a roughened up look…?
Or he did get slapped and the mark took some time to appear.
Either way, shame on the teacher for either possible action.
Oz
after the previous one, where Mike gets slapped and shoved out of a room only to find Amber didn’t even wait for him, I’m expecting Amber and Ethan to be part of the cause of Mike becoming an asshole.
But also Mike seems so sad in these flashbacks. I feel compelled to give him a hug. I want to know what terrible things he experienced or witnessed that are behind is strained smile. Maybe his too-happy-to-be-true family hides some complex secrets after all. Come to think of it, Mike’s dad was not included in Willis’s latest “happy fathers day for all the three decent fathers in the dumbingverse” post.
ARTSCHOOLRAGE
….. oh no.
Proto
I think it’s seeing Mike’s face start to contort more and more into what we know as his “default” state of always angry.
Passchendaele
Yep, just the usual set of worms, bacteria, and assorted insects will slowly devour his rotting corpse, not cats. Hooray!
Bathymetheus
“If you are what you eat, I’m dead meat”
Raptors like their meat live.
TheHorseCouncil
And then cut to years later when ethan doesn’t care what people think about him being a turbonerd BUT does care about what they may think if he’s gay. Recalling the strip where he doesn’t want to be Gay Ethan he wants to be Transformers Nerd Ethan.
miados
they would if toystory was real. so they could always have a piece of you with them
Reltzik
But them inevitably eating your corpse is how you know that they love you!
Remmington Steele
You always eat the ones you love. Saves buying groceries.
Rich
2009 isn’t vintage! I’m not that old!!!!
BBCC
It’s nearly ten years.
Keulen
My thoughts exactly. Stop making me feel old Willis! I’m not even 30 yet.
CJ
It must have been 2010 or so much in comic, or if they are around 12, 2013 at best.
BBCC
It’s 2018, they’re 18 now, so they’d be 9 in 2009. If they’re 12, it’d be 2012.
Coma
Well, three years does feel pretty long for a 10- or 12-year old.
If I remember that time, even becoming 14 felt like a whole decade passed until then.
I know it’s probably because as an adult, you have much more going on in your head and organisational-wise you are more invested in everything and you have to do much more tasks that are mostly time consumers, but even now I’m like:
It’s nearly JULY? Shit, how did THAT happen??!
CJ
There’s a distinct gap between last month feels like it was ages ago and the stuff I get done, though.
StClair
I had almost exactly that thought last night, remembering that it was when the “new” Star Trek movie came out. (Well, the first of this trilogy.)
William Leonard Reese Jr.
Ah best friendship. Can’t wait to see what turns Mike into such an acerbic arse. And how I presume Ethan and Amber won’t turn their backs on him because of whatever event causes the transformation.
Jason
I suspect it’s not going to be a big dramatic moment but rather a slow shift- but we will see. I’m intrigued, I’ll say that.
Bunk
Damn you sliding time scale. 2009 was initially only a year ago, but now it’s 9
Kernanator
Vintage? It hasn’t even been a decade yet!
Needfuldoer
Ten years is forever ago when it’s more than half of your life.
Ten years is a moment ago when you can distinctly remember it.
Time is forever accelerating, its only merciful act between childhood innocence and cold, unfeeling oblivion. Eat Arby’s.
Nono
The panel three line is weird. Mike is saying it as a statement, the same way he was telling the teacher, “It’s because she’s a girl.”. It’s like he figured something out and is just expressing it with no holding back.
Vinny
Mike may not be holding back – but he’s not being mean, either.
That’s a pretty innocent looking face in panel 3.
Can’t wait to see what Willis has planned for him.
TheHorseCouncil
You’re probably on the money there. He’s young and probably hasn’t figured out how to say what just occured to him without it being exactly how he thought it. Like when kids write their thoughts down the way they think them. This is the verbal version. Probably.\_(°~°)_/ i’unno.
Toxic
There’s also the time he said “Amber! Something’s wrong.” It seems like something you’d normally phrase as a question.
Oz
His perceptiveness is more a curse than a blessing isn’t it
BBCC
I laughed at the vintage comment. Oh, Ethan.
Plasma Mongoose
But cats eating your corpse is part of the circle of life.
Wizard
No sense wasting a perfectly good corpse.
Chronos
Damnit, Past Mike, stop showing flaws in my headcanon by showing you have a personality.
Clif
Ah, Mike. There you are in the last panel.
Rukdug