206

Stumped
Posted on October 4, 2012 by David M Willis

206 thoughts on “Stumped”

  1. Jen Aside

    Checkmate, atheists!

    1. Khrene Cleaver

      Nice that guy was pretty darn funny!

      1. Gordon Blvd

        to be quite honest, that was pretty effing AWESOME

        1. Winterfeline

          To be honest, I can’t really see how that stumps an atheist, particularily. She may have meddled in things and things got better due to her meddling, but I don’t think that religion really factors in on things there. Also, she’s giving herself way more credit about that than she should. I like Joyce usually but this is a bit mean from her.

        2. Toad

          Well, she did stump an atheist. Dorothy was left temporarily speechless. And of course, her atheism had nothing to do with it, but her actual statement was technically true.

        3. begbert2

          Stumping atheists is easy. Just ask them to solve Fermat’s last theorem in the space of a margin. That’ll do it.

        4. Pie

          That’s not fair! All atheists know that there is a fiendishly simple proof for Fermat’s last theorem, but there’s not enough space in a margin to show it.

        5. Alex

          The religiously inclined can solve it by paying proper tribute to the invisible sky wizard. Too bad he never shows his work, let alone in a margin.

        6. Joseph

          Stumping an atheist is only as difficult as severing and cauterizing a limb. Admittedly, this is harder than the movies would lead one to believe.

  2. Confuzor

    Joyce, you are amazing!

    1. Amaziboy

      Amazigirl?

      1. Digidestined of Trust (Tim)

        Just amazing. She’s got her OWN powers 😀

      2. Boom

        It would explain the lack of a window.

        1. Ben

          We are, of course, talking about a chest window correct? No super hero is truely super without one. including batman.

        2. Azumango

          Your Gravatar fits too well for that comment!

  3. David Herbert

    Wow, she’s on her way to becoming a nicer version of Mike.

    1. Otera

      ooooh… there’s an idea…. what if Joyce and Mike got together….?

      1. Volkai

        Dumbiverse would explode.

        1. LuckyStar7

          Because the epicness would be OVER 9000!!!
          …had to get that out.

        2. The Other Mike

          You’re using the wrong memes. I’ll sell you the right ones… for a nickel.

      2. begbert2

        They had a bonding moment on that date with Joe.

        1. AngryBamboo

          Reread the punching scene but imagine it slow motion and play the song “at last” in your mind.

      3. Jackson

        I don’t ship it yet, but check back after New Year’s.

  4. Amaziboy

    Only on non-faith based topics.

    1. Alex Stritar

      What makes you think this isnt based on faith? XD

      1. Resne

        Because you don’t have to believe Joyce is secretly queen of snark, you can see it. xD

  5. SplashBoogie

    Sierra’s gonna be with ’em. Can you say “I like-a where this is goin”?

    If not then just say “OT3 Fanfic” and we’ll be cool.

    1. Scoops!

      Oooh yeah.

      1. Scoops!

        Completely inappropriate avatar! Woo!

        1. the canvashat

          sometimes I feel that the randome gravitars are rigged for this sole purpose.

        2. AckAckAck

          A program solely intended to troll us internet commenter? I approve!

        3. Volkai

          Sarcasm HO!

        4. Trousle Undrhil

          Heh. It’s funny cause Ross is a ho and is sarcastic. 😛

    2. Tristan J

      Biddly-diddly-dee, two ladies!

      1. Effie

        I like your reference, sir, I like your reference.

      2. Becky

        Thank you, I now have that song firmly stuck in my head.

        1. Becky

          In unrelated news, holy crap, my Gravatar is Dina?! My five-year-old wannabe paleontologist self is thoroughly pleased.

        2. Volkai

          If there is anything that would make me get a Gravatar account it would be to have a reliable Dina icon.

        3. AckAckAck

          But not Amazi-Girl? is she not reliable enough?

    3. Boom

      Yeah, my immediate thought was, “Yeah, Joyce, that may sound reasonable, but believe me when I say it really isn’t.”

      Then Joyce would look at me confused, then I’d make an obscure but unmistakable hand gesture.

      Then there would be much… muchness.

    4. Rex Hondo

      I can say “Bow, chicka, bwow-wow.” Is that close enough?

      1. SonicBlueRanger

        Hey Chicka Bark-Bark.

        1. RandomGuy

          Cluck chicka peck peck peck

        2. AckAckAck

          Honk honk honk honk honk!

        3. Rex Hondo

          I am totally making all those noises the next time I have sex.
          And then I won’t have sex again for a long, long time.

    5. Melizza

      this!

  6. Plasma Mongoose

    FAAAAAAACEBOOOOOK!

    1. AngryBamboo

      Faaaaaaaaaaaaaåaaaaaaaáaaaäàaaaåaaaâaaáce booooøoooöoooòoooôooøoooók

      1. Historyman68

        UMMMMMMMLAUUUUUUTTTTTTT

  7. Kschenke

    … I thought she was holding a carrot. I was confused.

    1. Yotomoe

      Ah…what’s up Dorth.

    2. Aizat

      I thought it was a Twisties.

      1. Rognik

        A what?

        1. Aizat

          It’s a snack that is quite popular in my country.

        2. Shade

          A popular Australian snackfood.

          http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twisties

    3. Wack'd

      Thank god it wasn’t just me.

    4. Kernanator

      Now I can’t unsee it.

    5. Boom

      Cheesy wotsits.

    6. Joey

      Oh god, you’re telling me she wasn’t tapping Dorothy on the nose with a carrot stick?

    7. meanderling

      I wasn’t the only one!

      The iCarrot 4S. With real carotene display and patented orange colour.

    8. Rex Hondo

      I was particularly confused as to how the carrot could still be in one piece when there is a clear “snap” sound effect.

      Or maybe that’s what has Dorothy stumped, the complete non-sequitur magic carrot.

    9. Geegles

      ME TOO. Or possibly a snap bracelet.

    10. thelastnerd

      I did, too. Willis, perhaps you should make the flash effect slightly more noticeable?

      1. begbert2

        Or make it more perfectly straight. My mind saw that slight curve and said, ‘Well, it’s definitely organic. And she just snapped it off (somehow). Conclusion: carrot!’

    11. AckAckAck

      Yep, me too. I thought she’s going to use the horse motivated by carrot argument. Even though that’s completely irrelevant and confusing at best.

    12. Pineapple Goat

      Yeah…I was starting to think it was a new meme involving breaking carrots. I can’t keep up with those things.

  8. Yotomoe

    I wonder if Joyce has been on the stumped end of these a lot.

    1. Raen

      I’m convinced you can find multiple videos of Joyce on Youtube explaining how there has never been an observed instance of useful information being added to the genome, to help out her Uncle Ian in Canada.

    2. begbert2

      Based on her reaction to learning of Dorothy’s atheism, I can safely say she’s never knowingly met one in person. That would leave the internet, where you would only know they were atheist in a religious discussion with them. I suspect that Joyce tends to get destroyed in those sorts of discussions.

  9. Wonder Wig

    Sierra will be there? Sounds like a delicious caramel, coconut, and chocolate treat.

    1. Yotomoe

      They almost sound like an Almond Joy.

      1. GenericScreenName101

        Or caramel Mounds

        1. Yotomoe

          Sal has some impressive Caramel Mounds.

        2. Wonder Wig

          True that, they’re not something to Snicker about.

        3. Joey

          I’m not even going to mention what lies be-twix-ed…

        4. Rex Hondo

          This conversation has got me all worked up. I think I’m gonna Take Five.

        5. Khrene Cleaver

          I can wait to hear the orgasmic Symphony of their Milky 3 Way

        6. TheCerpent

          So, wait, are you saying that he’s gonna be putting his Thingamajig in her Whatchamacallit?

        7. Rex Hondo

          Something something Hershey Highway something…

        8. LuckyStar7

          Let’s hope they don’t get Butterfingers…

        9. Rex Hondo

          Has to be Almond Joy, since Walky will be there. As everybody knows, “Almond Joy’s got nuts. Mounds don’t.”

        10. Roborat

          Mega LOL! you win, that was brilliant

    2. ThatRobedGuy

      ….must…not…write…fan fiction…

      1. Rognik

        Give in to those urges… you’ll feel so much better.

        1. Wonder Wig

          And after you give in change your avatar to a relaxed face.

      2. Yotomoe

        Must…not…draw…slash…

        1. CWR

          Also…must…not…draw…Axl…

        2. Volkai

          Draw it anyways, both of you.

      3. Raoullefere

        There’s nothing wrong with writing fan fiction. It’s the letting other people read it part that will destroy the world.

        1. hmrc4evr

          I feel the need to slightly disagree Raoullefere.

          Being a fanfic writer myself I’ve wrote my share of ‘impossible romances’ (Jeri and Leomon, Henry and Renamon, Jade and Paco) and have received a fair amount of praise for them so the reading of fanfic doesnt necessarily mean the end of the world–just the potential to alter the readers worldview on the subject/characters…etc

        2. Raoullefere

          I suppose I’ve been squicked two or three too many times. Perhaps I’m too easily squickable, As in all things, YMMV.

        3. AckAckAck

          Writing it is only half the fun! the best part is the reaction of the readers when they read your fanfics!

      4. AckAckAck

        Do it! post it in fanfic.net and let us review it!

    3. AckAckAck

      Sex and food. I love the way you thinking 😉

  10. MR C

    wait, what is that in joyce’s hand, and when did it get there, and why does it make a cracking noise without looking cracked?

    1. Kernanator

      It’s one of them newfangled cell phones. The ones that are super thin and have a built-in camera.

      1. Yotomoe

        You lost me there with your space-age talk there, youngster.

        1. Kernanator

          Hell, I barely understand it myself.

    2. Wonder Wig

      It’s a psychic carrot, just think and press.

      1. Wack'd

        You can also make juice with it!

        1. Colin Baker

          CARROT JUICE?!?!

        2. LuckyStar7

          VEGETABLE JUICE!!!!
          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0-2lzA7_Cg

    3. Doctor_Who

      It is a phone. She took a picture.

      1. Rex Hondo

        Stuff and nonsense! It cannot be a phone, for there is no cord. It cannot be a camera, for there is no tripod or flash pan.

        1. Jackson

          Seriously! If it’s a phone, then where’s the rotary dial?

        2. Doctor_Who

          There’s an app for that.

          No, seriously, there are rotary dialer apps. Because dialing a phone the modern way is too damn convenient. And it costs money.

  11. Aizat

    Joyce, you magnificent bongo.

    1. Effie

      You read her book?

      1. Crumplepunch

        …”I follow your twitter feed!”

  12. Raen

    Sierra’s going to be with them the whole time?

    …the comment I think I want to make here I don’t think I want to make here.

    1. Aizat

      I smell threesome!

      1. Raen

        Just three, you think?

        1. Aizat

          Well, if we include Monkey Master, that makes 4.

        2. Rognik

          Well, MM AND Dexter, so technically 5.

        3. Boom

          No! That can’t be true! It’s logistically impossible!

        4. Volkai

          I think once you get past three the proper term is “orgy”.

        5. RandomGuy

          No, that’s 5

        6. begbert2

          Right; after a threesome is a fourgy.

    2. Yotomoe

      I think like 3 people beat ya to that.

      1. Raen

        …if you say so. ^_~

      2. Rex Hondo

        I think like 3 people are beating off to that.

        At the very least.

  13. TheCommander

    That seems like a bit of a non sequitur from Joyce. Even if she did something Dorothy ultimately approves of, it hardly gives her the right to be judgmental and pushy.

    1. Sensedog

      Indeed. That pretty much sums up my thoughts on this comic.

    2. Thor

      You think that Joyce is going to wait for someone to give her the right to be judgemental and pushy? I think she’s going to go for it and look for any necessary forgiveness later.

      1. begbert2

        I have the impression that Joyce thinks she has the God-given right to be judgmental and pushy on certain topics, and would never think apologies necessary. (Unless she apologized to Joe, and I’ve forgotten?)

    3. Andiemus

      Oh good. I was worried I was the only one to think the comeback to this was blatantly obvious.

    4. Dr.Z

      I saw it more as Joyce deflating a growing argument with humor.

  14. SeanNOLA

    I thought Joyce hit Dorothy in the nose with a carrot.

    1. Raen

      Ringringringringringringring… karotophone!

      1. Boom

        Gods damn it. Now it’s stuck in my head again.

        1. CWR

          You have a carrot stuck in your head…again?

          Too many stupid jokes I could make – frozen with indecision – suffering Kirk diction…

  15. Kernanator

    Point for Joyce.

    Also, Sierra is going to be there? That can be taken so many ways…

    1. Yotomoe

      and it has been said…and so shall it be said again.

    2. Rex Hondo

      Sierra can also be taken so many ways.

      Am I just really dirty tonight, or is it just me?

      1. Kernanator

        You’re not the only one…

        1. Raoullefere

          Which means yes, yes you are really dirty tonight. But rejoice, for there are other pigs in the wallow.

  16. Sporky

    Is that an argument for Joyce being God?

    … I’m okay with this

    1. Yotomoe

      Joyce would be a terrible god…smiting everyone who tries to do pre-marital hanky-panky. That’s like…3/4 of the worlds population right there!

      1. Jim

        You think it’s that low?

      2. Hayley

        Try 90%

      3. Volkai

        J&W! Joyce might not be so bad, hmm?

      4. begbert2

        Apparently around 25% of the world’s population is under the age of 15, so that 3/4ths may actually be pretty close.

  17. GenericScreenName101

    Awesome… Joyce just learned that atheists do not have all the anwsers. Good for her!

    1. Yotomoe

      I have all the answers…but it’s cuz I stole the teacher’s answer guide.

      1. Rognik

        Do dyslexic atheists stay up at night, wondering if there really is a dog?

        1. Boom

          I laughed so much I almost fell out of my hair, but then I felt bad.

        2. Yotomoe

          I would feel bad too if I almost went bald from a joke.

        3. Boom

          I know! I’m so lucky I was only flying a spaceship.

          Oh – for no reason what-so-ever – and if the people in Indiana could, like, ignore strange flashing lights they may or may not have seen I’d be super special awesome thankful.

        4. Pinnelipe

          But the lights help me sleep at night…o.o I wanted to share their majesty with the world!

        5. Volkai

          Wonder if there is a dog.
          Test for proof that pet at foot of bed is a dog.
          Pet is excited about getting attention, wags tail, slobbers a lot.
          Conclusion: There is a dog.

          ALTERNATE REALITY VERSION:
          Wonder if there is a dog.
          Test for proof that pet at foot of bed is a dog.
          Pet is aloof, ignores person, will not chase after frisbee.
          Conclusion: This is a cat. Available evidence says there is no dog.

        6. thomas0comer

          Error: pet at foot of bed could be wolf, silver fox, or cat with identity crisis.

        7. Blue

          Only the ones who are also insomniacs 😉

  18. Clark

    Touche, Joyce. XD

  19. Boom

    Yes, stumped.

    OR BUILDING HER FURY!

    Run, Joyce, while she is still fury building!

    1. Effie

      It will only take her about what, three episodes to reach maximum power level? Joyce has plenty of time to run.

    2. Yotomoe

      Dorothy used Fury Attack!

      1. L

        It’s super effective!

        1. Yotomoe

          *nerd glasses* It’s impossible for a normal type attack to be super effective.

        2. L

          I thought it was a fire type…

        3. Crumplepunch

          In any case it clearly wasn’t super effective.

  20. Jetstream

    Destroy her!

  21. Deemah

    That is not fair of Joyce!!!

  22. Anonymous

    *laughs*

    To my own concern, when I want to comment I find it’s usually because I want to rage about how much I want to strangle a character. This is universal across all webcomics I read, by the way. It feels wonderful to want to comment and for it to be a desire to applaud instead.

    1. Pinnelipe

      I know. This is the only comic author I’ve spent money to get a print from. I treasure my picture of Joyce and Walky trying to do sexy times while a doggy Danny watches. Such great stories and art!

    2. icepyrox

      Fear not. The desire to strangle a character here has merely been diverted to a character in comic rather than one looking in from the outside.

  23. JoeMerl

    You only get God-points for that if it’s about religion, Joyce. Quick, hit her with Pascal’s Wager before her brain has time to recover!

    1. Blind Blobfish

      No that would just hand Dorothy the upper hand again easily

      1. begbert2

        Yeah, pascal’s wager is a gimme. Go for the ontological argument; it requires an understanding of symbolic modal logic to unambiguously annihilate and Dorothy seems to be lacking the requisite whiteboard.

  24. Kensou

    Annnnd it’s little bits like this that help with me not hating Joyce. XD

  25. Alex Stritar

    Teacher said everytime a picture of a stumped athiest is posted on Facebook, an angel gets it’s wings.

  26. Aegon01

    TWEETING IT!

  27. L

    …So it’s sometimes okay to meddle into other people’s lives?

    1. Volkai

      Maybe. Maybe not.

      Sometimes meddling in other people’s lives has a positive result.
      Sometimes, not so much.

      The risk:reward ratio is variable, so you can only decide if it’s worth doing on a case-by-case basis.

  28. Leon

    Better hope Walky’s out of earshot

  29. Ryan

    I hate Joyce at this stage in her life, in every incarnation.

  30. sun tzu

    Nnnnnnot Joyce’s most sympathetic moment.

  31. TemplarKnight

    Alright, Willis, now we need the picture from that phone to use as gravatars and such.

  32. bunivasal

    No, Joyce, I didn’t want you to get us back together. In fact, if you’re going to be such an annoying busybody, I’ll break up with Walky again, just so I can re-get-us back together myself.

  33. tudza

    So, you gave us some startup cash and now you want to run the company?

  34. Henry

    Joyce’s face in the last panel. Wat.

    1. begbert2

      That’s what you look like when you say ‘Oooh’.

      Keep that mind the next time you’re tempted to say that word in public.

  35. LionHeart

    …****. Well, I know when I’m beat.

    *converts*

  36. CWR

    Honestly, I think Dot is merely puzzled by the non-sequitor Joyce just uttered. Similar to my own confusion as I tried to connect how cowing Walky by shouting at him has anything to do with Dot’s lack of belief in a supreme being.

    1. begbert2

      Joyce just proved* that shouting and getting in your face and being a generally intrusive asshole is a weapon for good in her hands.

      *sort of

      Go back and look at how she went about reconciling Dorothy and Walky. Hint: it did not involve a fruit basket.

      1. Historyman68

        A fruit basket probably would have worked equally well for Walky. Or a McNugget basket.

  37. Black Drazon

    “Stumped an atheist, this is her nose. Got a better picture later.”

    1. Sorcyress

      I giggled lots at this comment.

  38. Jimmy

    Oh “Snap” indeed!

  39. Ronnie Lane

    Joyce is now the best character ever.

  40. ixupihunter

    Joyce bops Dorothy on the nose with a carrot. “Bad Dorothy, Bad Girl.”

  41. gkathellar

    “I got you back together, now quick, don’t do the things which people who are together do!”

    It seems like maybe someone has missed what relationships consist of? Or maybe someone thinks that being right on at least one occasion is equivalent to being right on all occasions?

    1. begbert2

      I think we know for a fact that Joyce has no awareness of what people in a relationship do. In her opinion it probably goes as follows: 1) Date. 2) Hold hands. 3) Arm around shoulder. 4) Convert them to my flavor of Christiainity. 5) Marriage. 6) Kissing. 7) Have lots of babies.

  42. begbert2

    So presuming that Dorothy is *not* planning a three-way or simply lying, she’s going to have Walky over for a slumber party where they just…sleep? And watch cartoons with Sierra and refrain from studying all night? Are we talking pillow fights and painting Walky’s nails here?

  43. Bill Murphy

    Ahh… So her evill plan was to help them get back together all along.

  44. Martigro

    I don’t get how Joyce’s argument is an argument. The only reason she did it (get them back together) is because she thinks so little of Walky that she wants him to be dumped one.

    And what now? She got them back together so now they are to MARRY?

  45. Kryss LaBryn

    How has no one mentioned the way Joyce is grabbing for Dorothy’s boobs in that first panel? Or should I have refreshed before I hit “Post”? XD

  46. vlademir1

    How did so many people miss that that was a cellphone? The context says it all… what would a carrot have to do with Facebook?

    1. AckAckAck

      Carrotbook! the new hot stuff from the internet!

    2. CWR

      It’s a celebratory carrot. Joyce doesn’t believe in delaying gratification. Except for the whole heaven thing…

  47. Azukar

    Maybe the *snap* was actually Dorothy’s mouth snapping shut when she realised what Joyce was saying… In fact, that really *is* a carrot; Joyce is just using it to ramp up the surreality of the moment.

  48. Wixvhen

    She doesn’t seem to get that her choice of forcing them together was her personal choice, not her religious choice.

    1. Dr.Z

      I think she is just being irrelevantly humorous to derail the argument she didn’t mean to start.

  49. CHumpersonable

    Wow, Joyce is still on the fast path to being the absolute worst character, it would seem.

  50. Hanii Puppy

    If God isn’t real then why is it a horse?

  51. John

    I just realized that at that range and angle, Joyce’s photo is basically just going to be Dorothy’s nostrils. I mean, assuming she had nostrils.

  52. Onion

    Hey, when it comes to us atheists, I guess any sort of stumping us is a victory, even if the topic has almost nothing to do with religion in the first place. Joyce has a right to be proud, especially considering she’s Joyce.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

*

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.