206

Something
Posted on December 12, 2011 by David M Willis

206 thoughts on “Something”

  1. Jen Aside

    Billie and SAL DAMNIT

    RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE

    1. Lalala.

      FOR OUR SHIP

      1. ilvos01

        All in favor say “aye”

        “aye”

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          AYE AYE CAPTAIN!

        2. Osaru Sensei

          I feel obliged to post this.

        3. Lulu

          Aye!

        4. Wandering Meme

          Nay! Naaaaaaaaaaaay!
          Why do girls get ALL the girls?!?

        5. Plasma Mongoose

          Cos it’s a Willis comic, DUH!

        6. das-g

          Easy to answer: <sings tune=”awfully off”>Us girls, we are so magical: Soft skin, red lips — so kissable. Hard to resist, so touchable … too good to deny iii-iiit!</sings>

        7. MLBlue

          Is that a Joyce as Anonymous avatar? o_0

        8. The E-man

          Because then the boys get all the boys!

      2. Lordphulish

        HOLD FAST!!

        1. Leorale

          I’m holding as fast as I can!

    2. Brendan

      Or take Walky to a certain town in Canada.

      1. Michelle J Caboose

        ^ This. Walky was kind of cute as a girl (personality, as well as appearance).

        Female Walky and Billie is now my OTP. ^_^

    3. thomas0comer

      Billie, Sal, Walky, Joyce, Dorothy, Sarah, and every other character in the story. Singularishipping! YAAAAAAAAY!

      1. Jackson

        SHIP ALL THE CHARACTERS

    4. Jenny Creed

      I’m imagining her anger itself makes the sound “rage” and yes, that makes no sense, but she’s going to make your ass sense.

  2. Toenz

    ……….meep.

    1. Fred

      Nerdcubed? Amirite?

  3. Mkvenner

    Wrong quest.
    If you want to go to Yale run.

  4. Uniqueantique

    Uh Oh!

    1. Luke

      RUUUN FUCKING RUN!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE DOROTHY! Poor Joyce she sacrificed herself to cover Dorothy’s escape… I am sad bear now.

  5. Plasma Mongoose

    Sal’s a Walky substitute.

    1. NakedDumblydore

      Why sub when you could have both? Rawr!

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        OOOOH Twincest action.

  6. Nexev

    I feel like Billie is going to turn into a weredrunk

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      That will only occur when she is exposed to the effects of the full moonshine.

      1. Kernanator

        I will punch you. In the face. You will die from facepunching.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          *CATFIGHT*

      2. Valdrax

        +1

      3. nothri

        That hurt me in the soul, I just want you to know.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          That warms my cold black heart.

    2. alex

      three words: “Jekyll and Hyde”

      1. ilvos01

        Billie and Sal go drinking and that’s when things go south.

        1. ilvos01

          On account of Sal being unconscious in a few seconds.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          Billie uses ROOFIES
          Sal fainted!

        3. Tucker

          Willis used GENDER EQUALITY

          PLASMA MONGOOSE has fainted.

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          Plasma Mongoose uses FULL REVIVE

        5. turkishproverb

          Sal is awakened (Hey, you should’ve specified who you were using full revive on)

        6. Tucker

          Tucker uses LOGIC
          …silly PLASMA MONGOOSE, fainted things can’t revive themselves.

          PLASMA MONGOOSE was returned to party.

        7. Plasma Mongoose

          LOGIC? Where we are, we don’t need no stinking logic. 😛

        8. Tucker

          Oh…. okay…

          Tucker uses FISSURE

      2. alex

        uh.. i was just making a joke about when Jekyll changed without the formula…

  7. Andrew Colunga

    *tosses booze into the bushes* Quick now’s your chance to escape Dorothy!

  8. Vabolo

    You wouldn’t like her when she’s angry.

    1. darcos0

      When is she nice?

    2. Tucker

      http://img259.imageshack.us/img259/8513/billiehulk.png

      1. Leorale

        Delightful

  9. Ridureyu

    I have seen many old married couples where one member swings seatbelts around and bites people like a shark.

    Usually that one is in a nursing home.

    1. Digidestined of Trust (Tim)

      This reminds me of the one episode in The Andy Griffith Show where the older couple fight all the time and end up getting arrested for disturbing the peace. Poor Andy had to try and fix the situation, he successfully reversed the process, getting both of them to get along and actually like each other, but b/c of that each of them started snapping at other people in Mayberry. Talk about reverse reverse psychology.

  10. Plasma Mongoose

    Dotty needs all the cover she can get, there is no way anyone can escape while running in slo-mo.

  11. Joraiem

    Wow, never thought I’d see Dorothy be more naive than Joyce.

    1. MM

      I think that’s canceled out by Joyce’s impending martyrdom in the last panel.

    2. Anon

      She’s not! She’s asking to check if there’s anything going on between them so she can go for Walky herself!

      ..Or at least, that’s what I’m hoping..

      1. Historyman68

        I was kinda thinking the same thing. Or just her journalistic instincts, sniffing out a story. Or both.

  12. Gundi

    Four women and one boy, all freshmen at a local university, have been found dead and horribly mutilated nearby our own lake. According to their classmate, a Miss Jennifer Billingsworth, it was a shark. The lake has been closed until further notice

    1. Seerow

      +1

    2. Leorale

      we need a +1 button

  13. Tristan J

    So is this comic basically an excuse to draw a thousand different hilarious faces for all situations? Because if so, I approve.

  14. BadgerBadger

    She’s totally checking to see if the coast is clear for her to make a move! Walky + Dorothy = cutest couple ever!

    1. Blob Marley

      Glad somebody else mentioned it. Look at her fucking face. Panel 1 and 3. That is clearly an “I want that MgNugget-scarfing bundle of bad hygiene for myself” look.

  15. Sam

    Oh God, run Dorothy, run!

  16. agentksilver

    We’re waiting, Miss Billingsworth. *chin on hands* Well?

    1. Mkvenner

      Are You Mad! Don’t tuant her when she’s that pissed!

  17. Freeholder

    Billie X Walky is the inevitable future, a new pairing for Sal must be found. Any predictions?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Everyone knows that Walky/McNuggets are the official OTP in this comic.

      1. Tristan J

        OH GOD THE MENTAL IMAGES

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          I understand completely, Walky is a messy eater after all. 😀

        2. madd

          I think Oglaf did that one already.

        3. a99steaksauce

          quite disterbing if i do say so myself.

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          Moral of the story: Avoid foods with white sauce.

    2. Thor

      Sal × Galasso is the most obvious so far.

      1. NakedDumblydore

        No, no. Sal x Connie. Sal will sire an heir to the Galasso empire.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          With whose semen?

        2. Xi

          Sal’s. Duh.

        3. Lordphulish

          Futa?

        4. Michelle J Caboose

          When you’re that cool, you don’t need a penis to sire an heir.

        5. Tucker

          Remember, Galasso gets sex confused. He’s never sure who’s got what equipment.

        6. Michelle J Caboose

          Actually, I can’t remember if we’ve seen signs of that in the DOA-verse.

        7. Tucker

          Touche. I just assumed Galasso was mostly the same between the two continuities, as his Shortpacked character never encountered aliens or aquired abductee powers (so far as we know).

      2. Milosh

        I think Mike x your mom is the only official one right now.

        1. Tucker

          http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/18/2006_Nickel_Proof_Rev.png/220px-2006_Nickel_Proof_Rev.png

      3. NCP19

        Salasso?

  18. Bunk

    Well it’s not a no per se…

    1. dchorror

      She’s mad cause she’s been found out.

    2. Jacob

      Methinks the lady doth protest too much.

      1. Usayasha

        If it’s Shakespeare you’re on about, how about Titus Andronicus?

        Demetrius: “Villain, what hast thou done?”
        Mike: “That which thou canst not undo.”
        Chiron: “Thou hast undone our mother.”
        Mike: “Villain, I have done thy mother.”

  19. Jazzy the Man

    This made me laugh harder than it should have… oh well! =D

  20. Tristan J

    Any guesses as to why exactly Billie is so angry over the idea that there could be something between her and Walky? I ask because this exact situation has occurred to/around me precisely never, and the curiosity is driving me nuts.

    1. Ritser Brughel

      It’s walky. Wouldn’t YOU be mad?

      1. Tristan J

        Nope.

    2. dchorror

      She didn’t want anyone to realize that she was secretly attracted to him?

      She probably considers him more like a brother than a love interest?

      There used to be something there?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        That’s a scary thought.

        1. dchorror

          Which one, the last one?

      2. JeffEpp

        If she was really trying to hide anything, then why does she start yelling about how Walky is not her boyfriend when ever they come within a hundred or so yards of each other? Her real purpose, most likely, is:
        A. To make certain that he thinks about her, and plant the seed of reverse psychology in his little brain.
        B. To warn all other interested parties that he is marked territory, if not claimed.
        C. To tell parties interested in her, that she is not technicaly attached, YET, so they better start plying her with gifts (booze) soon, or lose out. Line forms at the rear.

        Of course, she has been complicated by a version of Walky that is in equal parts more masculine and feminine. Her new room mate. Now she has to figure out how to seduce both of them, but not at the same time, of course.

        1. Kernanator

          I like the way you think.

    3. lightsabermario

      It’s because, just like in other continuities of the Walkyverse, Billie and Walky grew up neighbors and went to the same high school together. However, in high school she was a cheerleader and considered herself the top of the hierarchy. Walky was Walky, and so he was at the bottom of the hierarchy. Billie never moves past her high-school-hierarchy view of the world, and considers Walky way beneath her. Granted, most of the time he justifies this view with his stupid and/or disgusting actions, but this is why she views him with disgust.

  21. Kaylee

    Wait, wait, wait. Is Dorothy asking because she’s changed her mind about Walky?!

    1. dchorror

      She could be throwing Billie a warning in case there is something between them.

      1. iSaidCandleja-

        Exactly. She’s making sure Walky is available.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Walky’s stained shirts is enough to make sure he stays available.

    2. Michelle J Caboose

      Not necessarily. There have been plenty of times I’ve seen two people acting similarly to Walky and Billie, and I’ve asked out of a burning curiosity — not because I was interested in either of them.

      Of course, curiosity about the way they act around one other doesn’t necessarily preclude the possibility that Dorothy also wants to know if Walky is taken, or if she can safely make a move on him.

      1. Leorale

        He definitely hasn’t shown her that he’s smart enough for her..

  22. TaZZerath

    “The power of Christ compels you!”
    … well Dorothy, Joyce gave it a shot….

    1. NakedDumblydore

      That’s not a bad idea. If they gave Billie a shot, it might distract her long enough to make an escape!

  23. TyrantisTerror

    Dorothy looks remarkably adorable in that last panel.

  24. ilvos01

    Nope.

  25. Locke

    Red eyes of love?! Wow, I wouldn’t have guessed that Billie and Walky were an item, sweet catch, Dorothy!

    1. Tristan J

      Maybe those red eyes indicate she’s a Republican.

      Or Santa.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        You meant Satan right?

        1. Aizat

          What, you never watched Santa’s Slay? Santa is Satan.

      2. Buckybone

        Or possessed…

      3. Eposi

        Or has a death note

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          “I will take this McNugget and EAT IT!”

        2. Tristan J

          *Monkey Master comes on TV*

          “Just as planned.”

        3. Cybersnark

          +1 Internet.

        4. Tucker

          “Children were given toys with toxic paint, just as I planned.”

        5. Tucker

          http://img192.imageshack.us/img192/4928/santayeah1.png

  26. milk experiment

    Do I feel a flashback coming on?

    1. milk experiment

      Oh, wow. That avatar with that facial expression is so much more appropriate than I could have ever expected.

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      Oooooh, exposition time.

  27. Iceholder

    And that’s how Billie was revealed to be a T-800.

    1. lightsabermario

      DUN-DUN DUN DUN-DUN! DUN-DUN DUN DUN-DUN!

    2. Aizat

      Or she could be from Krypton.

  28. Eposi

    New avatar pic? come on that Billie face is… well I can’t think of a term that would not get my spleen removed

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Is adorable the word you were searching for? 😀

      1. Eposi

        Maybe.. AH MY SPLEEN!

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          You need to see a gastroenterologist, STAT! 😛

    2. Jacob

      It reminds me of Sin from Sam & Fuzzy

      (Consistent branding is important!)

      1. Bekah

        Yes. This. Exactly. Now I will be unable to separate the two in my mind. From now on, Sin is a half-asian college girl. Half-asian, half-space gopher.

    3. Michelle J Caboose

      Rage

  29. TemplarKnight

    You have a great rage in your heart. Welcome to the Red Lantern Corps.

  30. TemplarKnight

    Jennifer Billingsworth of Earth, You have a great rage in your heart. Welcome to the Red Lantern Corps.

    1. TemplarKnight

      Pretend I said this instead.

      1. NakedDumblydore

        Said this instead of what? 😉

        1. TemplarKnight

          (gives you a lemon drop)

        2. fellixe

          (gives you internets)

  31. NF

    I know it is very unlikely, but it would be funny to see Billie and Walky go on a date, in the same way a clown car accident is funny.

  32. Sporkaganza

    “Watch out for snakes!”

    Who said that?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Samuel L. Jackson.

      1. Aizat

        I thought it was Indy.

        1. ryan

          it was revolver ocelot.

    2. Wackd

      Arch Hall, Sr.,Eegah!.

  33. Aizat

    Her eyes says no but I think it’s just a cover-up.

    1. Michelle J Caboose

      Actually, her eyes say Dorothy must die for figuring out her secret. ^_~

  34. Aizat

    I may not be a shipper but BillieXWalky seemed to good to pass up.

  35. TheBenenator

    And by cover, Joyce means that she will take notes and get interviews for the school paper — seeing how Dorothy will be far too busy running for her life.

  36. Spammy McSpamster

    YES YES YES.

    They need to accidentally make out or something.

    1. Tucker

      PSL?

      1. Spammy McSpamster

        Walky waits in a dark room for Dorothy. He thinks he’s getting some, but she was actually only going to return some Monkey Master dvd. You know…”give it to him”. Oh Walky, you silly mixed up goose.

        Meanwhile, drunken Billie follows some hunk into a room to makeout. But oops! Gets distracted along the way, goes into the wrong room. Then she jumps Walky.
        Hot hot disgusting love ensues, followed by much drama when Dorothy comes in and flicks on the light.

        1. Aizat

          Did you just read my mind?

      2. Animal

        You called?

  37. NCP19

    Man, I want to ship Billie x Walky now just to make her mad.

    1. Crumplepunch

      I’ve already been doing this for months.

      Paydirt, bongoes.

  38. Kernanator

    “Search your feelings, you know it to be true!”

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      NOOOOOOOOO!

  39. Azukar

    The lady doth protest too etc etc…

    1. McGruff the Crime Dog

      I never understood that shit. People protest the most when they are accused of something they didn’t do and never will.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2mnLGWXGPI

      1. Z

        No. Shakespear knew people better than you apparently. People often protest the most when accused of something they wish to keep secret or not admit even to themselves.

        1. begbert2

          This theory would work a lot better if “protest” hadn’t meant “talk loudly in *favor* of” back in the day.

        2. madd

          Not really. See she loudly protests her disdain of all things Walky while secretly loving him. Not that I believe she does, though I do believe she likes him and is unwilling to admit it to herself. If she really disliked him as much as she seems to, she could avoid him or ignore him, but she never does.

        3. Tucker

          The important part is that Willis understands this about people.

          At the end of the day, it’s Chekhov’s Gun.

        4. Blob Marley

          But not in the context in which Hamlet’s mother uses it. The woman in the play is hemming and hawing about her dead husband, and Hamlet’s mom is like “NOW KISS!” In that case, protest really does mean “speak out against.” As in “I think the lady is speaking out too much against banging a new dude now that she’s a widow.” So… yeah.

        5. madd

          The link was a comic doing a bit about Clinton/Lewinski. There may have been some sarcasm involved.

        6. McGruff the Crime Dog

          Yes, and Shakespeare’s characters are nothing if not realistic. Not at all aged either.

        7. Blob Marley

          If you ignore the early modern English… they kind of are realistic. Like, alarmingly so. They’re not always super deep, because a lot of his characters are meant to realistically portray a character trait rather than a “full” character, but the man knew people.

  40. fellixe

    So in panel 4 is Billie’s head turned to the right, or 3/4 of the way around to the left?

    1. AndrewFoose

      The latter. The anger has given her the powers of the girl from the Exorcist.

  41. Tucker

    That would depend on if she got shafted to the zoolander controller for Halo.

  42. Drake

    Well, rage IS something. So in a way, Dorothy was right.

  43. Scoot

    D:

    1. Tristan J

      ಠ_ಠ

      1. Scoot

        (╬ ಠ益ಠ)

  44. Xi

    Not sure who I’d rather side with at this point. Billie is half Asian, and, well, rawr… but Dorothy is adorable, and… well, I’ll quit while I’m ahead.

  45. McGruff the Crime Dog

    There was this one time Walky introduced her to old Colonel Angus.

    1. Blob Marley

      *snerk* with your gravatar…

  46. coobee

    I approve of the new DOA banner advert.

    Because Sal features prominently.

    And she looks super gay.

  47. DagonXIII

    Hmm… Roomies is coming to mind. Didn’t Danny and Billie bicker like “an old married couple?”

  48. Emily

    “I will cover your escape” sent me over the edge into full on uglylaughing.

  49. Lord Synick XXIII

    Hm…nope, still Joyce x Walky.

  50. Hanon

    Oh yes, indeed. This girl is retarded.

    Any more questions on why not to hate Dorothy?

  51. sarpiedon

    THERE IS NO BILLIE ON ZUUL

    1. Aizat

      No Billie on Zuul? Who cares, it’s ZUUL, MOTHERFUCKER! ZUUL!

      1. Tucker

        ZUUL, MOTHERFUCKER, ZUUL!

        http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2010/177/4/9/Zuul_by_LJPhil.jpg

    2. sarpiedon

      Damn Typos…

  52. Aizat

    Is it just me or is Billie looks cuter when she’s angry?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Not just you!

  53. Eve

    Huh, I honestly got more of a brother-sister argument vibe from them

    1. Blob Marley

      It’s wincest without the cest! It’s 100% WIN!

  54. Reepicheep-chan

    dem shoulder-freckles B^F

  55. JBO

    Sorry to bring up the other timeline again, but did Walky and Billie learn to “kiss and fight” from each other in this one too?

  56. zero

    “Billie of Earth. You have a great RAGE in your heart. You belong to the Red Lantern Corps.”

    1. Spiffster13

      You inspired me to draw this… Not exactly the best but still hope you like it.

      http://i.imgur.com/eT9aH.png

      1. MM

        Okay, so what’s everyone else? Roz is clearly Star Sapphire, Joyce is probably a Blue Lantern…

        1. Kernanator

          Ruth is part of the Sinestro Corp.

  57. Ash

    Swimming in a lake eh? Hope they don’t get Naegleria.

  58. WebComicGeek11

    Sounds like me and my friend…You know, the one who is currently dateing my sister 😛

  59. ADHadh

    Run Dorothy, run! Save your precious freckles!

  60. Pingback: Dumbing of Age - “Red Lantern Billie” by Spiffster13

  61. JA

    I bet Billie and Walky have awesome angry sex at some point.

  62. Hari

    Hahaha! Them’s fightin’ words!

  63. Maycroft

    Now I’ve seen the face of evil.

  64. Crazyon

    I shall walk through the valley and death and know no evil-Holy shit run!

  65. Lis

    Man I hate the “old married couple” line. Enough people say it and guys start thinking you WERE dating for a summer and a breakup with someone you weren’t ever going out with is messy… uh I mean its cliched

  66. Rogue of Space

    Suddenly remembering all the times I’ve been told that last bit regarding my past girlfriends……..

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

*

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.