Because humans are inherently irrational and illogical beings. And evil exists in the world, so some people find that hard to reconcile with the idea of an all-knowing, all-powerful, and all-good god. Seriously, try explaining to a little kid the answer to the question “If God loves everyone why do bad things happen?” You can’t answer that question without going deep into philosophy and theology and quite a bit of Thomas Aquinas. Signed, a hippie pinko Jesuit Catholic.
Ghostforge
the way to answer said question in a manner that is (somewhat) satisfactory to a little kid, is to frame the situation like the human race is collectively a child and God is the parent. And sometimes being a good parent means letting your child slip and fall, and then learn to pick themselves up, and not always being there to fix everything. Just being there to listen and offer encouragement is sometimes what is best, and all that is needed.
Ghostforge
*edit* signed, a tolerant liberal non-denominational Deist.
Chiechien
As someone who was that kid, I always found that infantilization of the human race absolutely unsatisfactory and insulting. It was preposterous to sub-10 year old me. The God described in the Bible is clearly crueler and more narcissistic than any decent parent.
If a parent acted like Bible-God, we’d all be telling the kid to get the hell emancipated ASAP.
Ghostforge
yeah, I kind of vehemently disagree with the classical depiction/example of the Christian God, it’s one of the reasons I refuse to identify with any organized religion. That being said, a lot of the more basic lessons in the bible and other similar holy books do still ring true even today, they just have to be taken with a grain of salt and the understanding that the culture and world when they were written is vastly different than today and that most of the more specific lessons/teachings need to be adapted for the modern world if they are salvageable at all. Granted, most of the stuff that survives from the teachings of historical J.C. is still good advice in an applicable situation, but one of the things that the religious folk like to gloss over, (though every decent world history class that covers the subject, makes a point to say that This Did Happen And We Have Recorded Proof) is that many of the clergy between the death of J.C. and even as late as the industrial revolution, would regularly deliberately mis-interpret scripture to fit the agenda of the current local status quo.
StClair
In my experience, a lot of people are looking for a parental figure who they will never outgrow, who will never leave them, and who will always love and protect them while giving them simple rules to follow to be “good”. For many, such a deity fills that role/need.
Freemage
Yeah, that only works if you accept the idea that God is a worse parent than Toedad. “Slip and fall” is one thing. “Let your kids rape, torture and kill the weakest ones, while shouting ‘Dad said I could’,” and not so much as telling the abusive siblings that they’re wrong about that, is another thing entirely.
Znayx
What are you talking about, Rukduk? Just avoid the false, meaningless question so you don’t have to justify an answer. What are “bad things” anyway? What is evil? Different people are offended and hurt and pleased and amused and permanently scarred and made happy by different things. Good and evil are far from absolutes, and therefore there’s no reason to assume there’s a reason. There is always cause, and effect though.
BBCC
There are some things people will generally consider wrong – murder (as in, ‘I am killing this person unlawfully because I want to”, not talking about things like self defence), rape, etc.
And, considering he’s talking with the assumption there’s a God (and specifically the Christian version of God) there’s definitely a version of good and evil we’re dealing with here, so I think it was a valid question.
Vamps & Zombies are just the result of diseases, and superheroes are just genetic manipulation or technological creations. But a Sky Daddy who rewards or punishes you for all eternity based on a small handful of years on Earth, without any proof that he actually exists? Might as well believe that Trump is the Second Coming.
Kryss LaBryn
Someday, Obama will return from vacation and run again, and He will be the Second Coming. 😀
(I am tempted to draw a picture of this, Obama standing on the steps of the White House in Jesus robes, with a halo, saying to cheering crowds, “I have returned, my children.” Heh.)
Delicious Taffy
As rad as that would be, you and I both know that’s not how the system works.
Wait, who do you know that believes in literal vampires, superheroes, and zombies? o_o
Znayx
Yeah, I was going to ask that… Like, what? Since when? We just do temporary suspension of disbelief for the sake of entertaining fiction. Seriously, please tell us who actually believes in these?
Znayx
“These” being all the non-god things that Bicycle Bill mentioned
I’m pretty sure more people in the world today believe in the existence of a god over vampires, superheroes, and zombies. Which is odd, because I think it’d be a lot easier to provide evidence for those three things than for a god. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence, and the claim that a god exists is a lot more extraordinary than the claim that vampires, superheroes, or zombies exist. I haven’t seen any evidence that anything supernatural exists so far.
Masumi
Maybe that’s exactly the point, people feel more comfortable believing in something that cannot be rather easily DISproven.
I once went to a meditation class that turned out to be a recruitment thing for some relatively crazy buddhist sect (and yep, apparently those exist), and they did SUCH a good job building up a theory that “feels logical”, but has no way whatsoever to be proven or disproven.
(I was out of there fast.)
Why do people believe in God… when they don’t believe in Santa Claus?
The tropes are similar. White man, white beard, in the sky, knowing who sins and who’s good, delivering goodies or burnables as appropriate.
In fact, kids do believe in Santa – because they’re told He exists. They believe in God – because they’re told He exists. They have more evidence for the existence of Santa than of God – the presents show up every year!
Then, they’re told Santa doesn’t exist, and after some emotional distress, they stop believing in Him. You’d think they’d extrapolate… but they’re still surrounded by people who keep telling them that God exists.
Surround them with people who tell them that zombies exist, or angels exist, or a flying saucer will come pick them up on March 26, 1997… and they will believe that too.
Cass
That’s actually exactly how I stopped believing in god. Well, via the Easter Bunny rather than Santa. When I was about four I went downstairs to use the bathroom the night before Easter and caught my parents filling our baskets, and with that stopped believing in every magical figure they told us was real without our actually ever seeing them. I had no idea adults thought god was a thing that actually existed instead of just being on the same level as Santa or The Tooth Fairy.
Michael Stay
Because the gifts do show up: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” When someone goes to church and does feel uplifted and strengthened, it confirms what they’ve been told.
Chris Phoenix
Sounds like you’re saying Christians have a special advantage in those areas. I have not noticed that, on average.
Christianity often seems to encourage people to amplify the way they already are. If they’re kind, they may be kinder. If they are self-righteous, they will likely be more so. Even cruelty (“spare the rod and spoil the child”) and murder have often been justified by Christianity – especially by the people who act that way.
I do not have such a high opinion of people that I think amplifying one’s natural tendencies is, on balance, a major point in Christianity’s favor.
I find it impossible to believe in any of those others either, so no conflict. I don’t seem capable of faith, at least in the sense of belief in the unprovable.
Honestly, each of those creatures does seem a lot more plausible than God. Ignoring their myriad of random (and often inconsistent) magical qualities and focus only on their basic attributes, none of them are that much of a stretch compared to what already exists.
-There plenty of blood drinking animals, why couldn’t some humans do the same?.
-Undeath in general is merely an unusual form of life. We still don’t know exactly what constitutes life, so it’s not that hard to believe there could be some variations of semi-life.
-There’s plenty of people with odd mutations/talents/abilities, superheroes are just that taken a step further.
Not saying any of them is real or even believable, but they are a lot easier to fit into a worldview than God is.
“Why do people find it so hard to believe in God ….. but they will believe in vampires, superheroes, and a zombie apocalypse?”
If by that you mean that some people genuinely believe they exist without objective proof or indeed despite proof such things do no exist or are hoaxes, you will find it is largely the same group of people because the mindset needed to believe in things without proof allows a pretty wide range of beliefs.
I doubt very many rational people “believe” superheroes actually exist so you are using a bit of a straw man argument here as well or using “belief” in different ways for different things.
Do you believe that devils and demons are genuinely real and truly exist and are hanging round looking for opportunities to harass you and destroy your relationship with this god I suspect you believe in?
“Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?” – Epicurus
Um… I know of very few people who believe in those things. They regard them as fictional scenarios which are fun to discuss–kind of like how Dorothy is treating the idea of “God” in this strip, actually.
AND LO, THE ISRAELITES DID WANDER FOR FORTY YEARS, TRYING TO FIND A SIGNAL.
Emperor Daniel
AND IT SHALL COME TO PASS, WHEN COMMENTERS TYPE IN ALL-CAPS, THAT THE FLOODGATES SHALL OPEN AND UNLIMITED WI-FI WILL BE AVAILABLE TO ALL, SHOULD THEY CHOOSE TO SAVE 20% OR MORE ON VERIZON.
The “Verizon guy” wasn’t an actual employee that they chose at random some day and said “C’mere; we’re gonna use you in a TV commercial”. He was an actor who *PLAYED* a Verizon tech — and his only connection to Verizon was the check he collected for doing so.
Or do you think that “Flo” is a real Progressive agent too?
Okay, that last panel is adorable. It suggests that Joyce is starting to feel more comfortable engaging in joking banter about God and her beliefs and this doesn’t mean that she is being made fun of. Friends are laughing with her, not at her and for her to relax about this is a very healthy sign.
188 thoughts on “Distressed”
Ana Chronistic
in that case, no WAY I could believe in God, because Verizon
Mr. Bulbmin
“Maybe if you switched to a better network, you could get my prayers, but until then I will stick with the AT&T setup the Olympians have going.”
Deanatay
Pagans use Consumer Cellular. It’s the same network, just without all the ludicrous fees and contracts.
Bicycle Bill
Why do people find it so hard to believe in God ….. but they will believe in vampires, superheroes, and a zombie apocalypse?
Rukduk
Because humans are inherently irrational and illogical beings. And evil exists in the world, so some people find that hard to reconcile with the idea of an all-knowing, all-powerful, and all-good god. Seriously, try explaining to a little kid the answer to the question “If God loves everyone why do bad things happen?” You can’t answer that question without going deep into philosophy and theology and quite a bit of Thomas Aquinas. Signed, a hippie pinko Jesuit Catholic.
Ghostforge
the way to answer said question in a manner that is (somewhat) satisfactory to a little kid, is to frame the situation like the human race is collectively a child and God is the parent. And sometimes being a good parent means letting your child slip and fall, and then learn to pick themselves up, and not always being there to fix everything. Just being there to listen and offer encouragement is sometimes what is best, and all that is needed.
Ghostforge
*edit* signed, a tolerant liberal non-denominational Deist.
Chiechien
As someone who was that kid, I always found that infantilization of the human race absolutely unsatisfactory and insulting. It was preposterous to sub-10 year old me. The God described in the Bible is clearly crueler and more narcissistic than any decent parent.
If a parent acted like Bible-God, we’d all be telling the kid to get the hell emancipated ASAP.
Ghostforge
yeah, I kind of vehemently disagree with the classical depiction/example of the Christian God, it’s one of the reasons I refuse to identify with any organized religion. That being said, a lot of the more basic lessons in the bible and other similar holy books do still ring true even today, they just have to be taken with a grain of salt and the understanding that the culture and world when they were written is vastly different than today and that most of the more specific lessons/teachings need to be adapted for the modern world if they are salvageable at all. Granted, most of the stuff that survives from the teachings of historical J.C. is still good advice in an applicable situation, but one of the things that the religious folk like to gloss over, (though every decent world history class that covers the subject, makes a point to say that This Did Happen And We Have Recorded Proof) is that many of the clergy between the death of J.C. and even as late as the industrial revolution, would regularly deliberately mis-interpret scripture to fit the agenda of the current local status quo.
StClair
In my experience, a lot of people are looking for a parental figure who they will never outgrow, who will never leave them, and who will always love and protect them while giving them simple rules to follow to be “good”. For many, such a deity fills that role/need.
Freemage
Yeah, that only works if you accept the idea that God is a worse parent than Toedad. “Slip and fall” is one thing. “Let your kids rape, torture and kill the weakest ones, while shouting ‘Dad said I could’,” and not so much as telling the abusive siblings that they’re wrong about that, is another thing entirely.
Znayx
What are you talking about, Rukduk? Just avoid the false, meaningless question so you don’t have to justify an answer. What are “bad things” anyway? What is evil? Different people are offended and hurt and pleased and amused and permanently scarred and made happy by different things. Good and evil are far from absolutes, and therefore there’s no reason to assume there’s a reason. There is always cause, and effect though.
BBCC
There are some things people will generally consider wrong – murder (as in, ‘I am killing this person unlawfully because I want to”, not talking about things like self defence), rape, etc.
And, considering he’s talking with the assumption there’s a God (and specifically the Christian version of God) there’s definitely a version of good and evil we’re dealing with here, so I think it was a valid question.
Cholma
Vamps & Zombies are just the result of diseases, and superheroes are just genetic manipulation or technological creations. But a Sky Daddy who rewards or punishes you for all eternity based on a small handful of years on Earth, without any proof that he actually exists? Might as well believe that Trump is the Second Coming.
Kryss LaBryn
Someday, Obama will return from vacation and run again, and He will be the Second Coming. 😀
(I am tempted to draw a picture of this, Obama standing on the steps of the White House in Jesus robes, with a halo, saying to cheering crowds, “I have returned, my children.” Heh.)
Delicious Taffy
As rad as that would be, you and I both know that’s not how the system works.
EvilMidnightLurker
Just wait until the constitutional crisis.
Valerie
Wait, who do you know that believes in literal vampires, superheroes, and zombies? o_o
Znayx
Yeah, I was going to ask that… Like, what? Since when? We just do temporary suspension of disbelief for the sake of entertaining fiction. Seriously, please tell us who actually believes in these?
Znayx
“These” being all the non-god things that Bicycle Bill mentioned
Keulan
I’m pretty sure more people in the world today believe in the existence of a god over vampires, superheroes, and zombies. Which is odd, because I think it’d be a lot easier to provide evidence for those three things than for a god. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence, and the claim that a god exists is a lot more extraordinary than the claim that vampires, superheroes, or zombies exist. I haven’t seen any evidence that anything supernatural exists so far.
Masumi
Maybe that’s exactly the point, people feel more comfortable believing in something that cannot be rather easily DISproven.
I once went to a meditation class that turned out to be a recruitment thing for some relatively crazy buddhist sect (and yep, apparently those exist), and they did SUCH a good job building up a theory that “feels logical”, but has no way whatsoever to be proven or disproven.
(I was out of there fast.)
Chris Phoenix
Why do people believe in God… when they don’t believe in Santa Claus?
The tropes are similar. White man, white beard, in the sky, knowing who sins and who’s good, delivering goodies or burnables as appropriate.
In fact, kids do believe in Santa – because they’re told He exists. They believe in God – because they’re told He exists. They have more evidence for the existence of Santa than of God – the presents show up every year!
Then, they’re told Santa doesn’t exist, and after some emotional distress, they stop believing in Him. You’d think they’d extrapolate… but they’re still surrounded by people who keep telling them that God exists.
Surround them with people who tell them that zombies exist, or angels exist, or a flying saucer will come pick them up on March 26, 1997… and they will believe that too.
Cass
That’s actually exactly how I stopped believing in god. Well, via the Easter Bunny rather than Santa. When I was about four I went downstairs to use the bathroom the night before Easter and caught my parents filling our baskets, and with that stopped believing in every magical figure they told us was real without our actually ever seeing them. I had no idea adults thought god was a thing that actually existed instead of just being on the same level as Santa or The Tooth Fairy.
Michael Stay
Because the gifts do show up: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” When someone goes to church and does feel uplifted and strengthened, it confirms what they’ve been told.
Chris Phoenix
Sounds like you’re saying Christians have a special advantage in those areas. I have not noticed that, on average.
Christianity often seems to encourage people to amplify the way they already are. If they’re kind, they may be kinder. If they are self-righteous, they will likely be more so. Even cruelty (“spare the rod and spoil the child”) and murder have often been justified by Christianity – especially by the people who act that way.
I do not have such a high opinion of people that I think amplifying one’s natural tendencies is, on balance, a major point in Christianity’s favor.
motorfirebox
Uh? Who actually believes in those things?
qman
Zombies do exist, just not human ones (yet).
Ademadis
I don’t believe, but it helps to be prepared amirite 😉
I’ve got my 40pack stash of beans somewhere ~.~
Charlie Spencer
I find it impossible to believe in any of those others either, so no conflict. I don’t seem capable of faith, at least in the sense of belief in the unprovable.
phyrexian rogue
Honestly, each of those creatures does seem a lot more plausible than God. Ignoring their myriad of random (and often inconsistent) magical qualities and focus only on their basic attributes, none of them are that much of a stretch compared to what already exists.
-There plenty of blood drinking animals, why couldn’t some humans do the same?.
-Undeath in general is merely an unusual form of life. We still don’t know exactly what constitutes life, so it’s not that hard to believe there could be some variations of semi-life.
-There’s plenty of people with odd mutations/talents/abilities, superheroes are just that taken a step further.
Not saying any of them is real or even believable, but they are a lot easier to fit into a worldview than God is.
Pablo360
Correction: They’re easier to fit into YOUR worldview than God is.
3oranges
What reality is it where more people believe in vampires and zombies than God?
Jim P>
“Why do people find it so hard to believe in God ….. but they will believe in vampires, superheroes, and a zombie apocalypse?”
If by that you mean that some people genuinely believe they exist without objective proof or indeed despite proof such things do no exist or are hoaxes, you will find it is largely the same group of people because the mindset needed to believe in things without proof allows a pretty wide range of beliefs.
I doubt very many rational people “believe” superheroes actually exist so you are using a bit of a straw man argument here as well or using “belief” in different ways for different things.
Do you believe that devils and demons are genuinely real and truly exist and are hanging round looking for opportunities to harass you and destroy your relationship with this god I suspect you believe in?
Ragingagnostic
“Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?” – Epicurus
If he’s any of these things, why worship him?
Freemage
Um… I know of very few people who believe in those things. They regard them as fictional scenarios which are fun to discuss–kind of like how Dorothy is treating the idea of “God” in this strip, actually.
John
I used to complain about Verizon. And then they sold my region to FairPoint.
I really, desperately, want Verizon back.
Mortartarsaus
That’s the deal with being God: INFINITE COSMIC POWER!! itty-bitty coverage map.
Matroku
I believe God uses Virgin Mobile
shadowcell
AND VERILY, I SAY UNTO THEE, FOR I AM THY LORD: CAN THOU HEAR ME NOW?
Doctor_Who
AND THE LORD WAS SILENT, FOR HE HAD ZERO BARS.
The Other Mike
AND LO, THE ISRAELITES DID WANDER FOR FORTY YEARS, TRYING TO FIND A SIGNAL.
Emperor Daniel
AND IT SHALL COME TO PASS, WHEN COMMENTERS TYPE IN ALL-CAPS, THAT THE FLOODGATES SHALL OPEN AND UNLIMITED WI-FI WILL BE AVAILABLE TO ALL, SHOULD THEY CHOOSE TO SAVE 20% OR MORE ON VERIZON.
brionl
Thou art holding it wrong.
Book of Job 6/10
Clif
Why do you think churches have steaples?
shadowcell
BUT THE LORD DID PROVIDE FOR THEM, WITH UNLIMITED MOBILE DATA FROM HEAVEN
Chris Phoenix
Maybe Paul was trying to fix the no-bars problem when he recommended “a little wine, for the sake of your stomach.”
Historyman68
That makes the Verizon guy even more of a Judas now.
Bicycle Bill
The “Verizon guy” wasn’t an actual employee that they chose at random some day and said “C’mere; we’re gonna use you in a TV commercial”. He was an actor who *PLAYED* a Verizon tech — and his only connection to Verizon was the check he collected for doing so.
Or do you think that “Flo” is a real Progressive agent too?
Historyman68
Yes, and I’m convinced that Geico taught a lizard to walk upright and speak with an Australian accent too.
shadowcell
at least the Geico gecko understands LOYALTY >:C
Durandal_1707
When those ads are still running, I always wanted to make a parody video that would go “Can you hear me now? Shit.” in a bunch of different locations.
miados
can you hear me now? no i’ll read a few more verses then try again.
Pablo360
Joyce, get off your high horse. There’s nothing wrong with paying respects for the Champ, Hercule.
miados
he did defeat majin buu and cell.
Pablo360
Not to mention the God of Destruction!
butts
Prayer works better the higher up you are, therefore Jesus lives in space
miados
or it fights gravity maybe. i dunno.
Stephen Bierce
*plays The Pretenders’ “Talk of the Town” on the hacked Muzak, because it’s what I think of when anybody mentions “More Bars In More Places”*
Stephen Bierce
Maybe Tomorrow…Maybe Someday…
Stephen Bierce
*And for the Encore, R.E.M. and “The Great Beyond”*
Mr. Mendo
So, if you hold your prayer up to your chin like a key fob, do you get a wider range of coverage?
klept0
Aww that’s wonderful that she’s making jokes XD
Jackson
And committing to the bit! Lookit her standin’ on that common room sofa.
Hellespont
Yeah, the concerned look on Joyce’s face in panel 5 really set up the punchlines in the final panel well.
athan1214
Are you there God, It’s me A—
What? No, hold up. Can you hear me now? No? What? Dropped prayer?
Damn Verizon.
CriticalQuit
Joyce and Dorothy’s friendship is so nice. I love when these moments happen.
Valerie
I know, aren’t they cute? <3 Christians and Atheists can be awesome friends when neither is mean to the other.
Bicycle Bill
ANYBODY can be awesome friends when they’re not mean to each other.
David Tucker
Okay, that last panel is adorable. It suggests that Joyce is starting to feel more comfortable engaging in joking banter about God and her beliefs and this doesn’t mean that she is being made fun of. Friends are laughing with her, not at her and for her to relax about this is a very healthy sign.
trlkly
That makes a good point. It’s not that she’s never made jokes like this before. It’s that she’s once again comfortable making them.
Foxhack