163

Byline
Posted on April 10, 2012 by David M Willis

163 thoughts on “Byline”

  1. Sensedog

    YES. In. Your. FACE.

    1. Bunk

      Don’t you mean FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE?

      1. Sensedog

        …What have I done? >_<

        <..>

        Ah, to hell with it.

        YES. In. Your. FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!

        1. Khrene Cleaver

          Yes, what have you done… with your penis…

        2. Wertthelord

          …For a nickle…

        3. Tualha

          …with someone’s mom…

        4. Shippy McShipper

          Mike’s? That would be sort of like a twist, no?

      2. PedanticJerkass

        No.

  2. Jen Aside

    HURTS DONUT

    1. Tom

      Those are delicious.

      1. Sensedog

        If anyone actually needed this, it was Billie.

        1. AngryBamboo

          she had a BYline in the paper, and those cheerleaders made a BEEline away from her!

          HA-AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-AHA!!!

          …im so sorry.

        2. DudeMyDadOwnsADealership

          As she has yet to figure out, for someone who is concerned with social climbing in a University environment above all else, that treating your high school glory days like they matter anymore is one of the most consistent social taboos out there, especially since she tops herself by basing her whole identity on her high school cheerleader days as if they’re still here, when in reality she is simply a socially inept freshman suffering from alcoholism, fits in great at kegger scenes, and joined the college newspaper staff recently.

          That epiphany’s not going to come on it’s own, so yeah, I agree.

  3. Yotomoe

    And in college they say…billy’s heart broke three times this day

    1. BlueMario

      You, sir win +1 internet and +5 nostalgia

  4. Daeva

    And Billie’s face was stuck like that for the rest of the day.

    1. MM

      Day? She’ll be lucky if she gets that unstuck in less than a week.

      Though at least Walky’s over his broken phase so there won’t be two of them.

  5. fellixe

    What’s the Y for? Billie’s middle name, but what is it?

    1. David

      Yunru.

      1. Blob Marley

        I guess that’s the Japanese half…

        1. David

          Chinese.

        2. fellixe

          Very cool. I thought there’d be a bunch of guesses to wade through. Good to know!

        3. Blob Marley

          That’s my luck. The time Willis responds to my comment is correcting me on getting the lore wrong. >.>

        4. David

          I think instead of “is” you meant “he’s.” May also need to be a comma beforehand.

        5. Random New Commenter

          I’d say lol, but I’m afraid of being called pedestrian.

          Many laughs were had.

        6. WordPolice

          …Pedestrian? maybe you mean plebeian?

        7. Zababcd

          I don’t think the comma is technically required, but it is usually used when a dependent clause precedes an independent clause.

        8. Jim

          Just when I thought you couldn’t top Yunru… 😀

      2. Ridureyu

        No, yunru mom!

  6. Blob Marley

    Ouch. I felt that one.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Billie really REALLY felt it.

  7. Gundi

    Billie is such a NEEEEEERRRRRRRRRD. I bet she even goes to digibutter.nerr!

    1. Splash*Boogie

      Got the reference and love it. Have my internet.

      1. Tioras

        I *think* I got the reference…. can I guess?

  8. Wonder Wig

    I know this may be irrelevant … but I JUST NOW understood the title for this comic. O_O

  9. Ridureyu

    Is Billie having a stroke?

    1. Mkvenner

      Hope springs eternal.

    2. Rognik

      More like a Blue Screen of Death. Reboot her, and she’ll be fine.

      1. Kintrex

        Just like a TV! All you have to do is swing your arm down at a 45° angle!

  10. Ryan

    HA. Hahahahahaha!

  11. Bekah

    I’m more interested in what the headline reads.

    1. Bekah

      Caped Avenger, maybe?

  12. The Sound Defense

    Scouter, burn level, etc.

  13. NCP19

    Welp, now her brain’s broke. Too bad. She had a good run of college learning (all one week) and now it’s all over.

    1. Yotomoe

      for the rest of the comic billie will be a vegetable and characters will walk around her like a background object.

      1. Historyman68

        There’s a pretty good gag in the webcomic Butternut Squash where that happens to one character. Um, I don’t really have much more to say about it. But it’s pretty funny.

        … And then I found five dollars?

  14. Chase

    Oh man, once they’ve been in college longer, those girls are in for one hell of a wake-up call.

    1. Barf Ninjason

      Yeah. My first thought was, “people don’t do that in college” but then I remembered that the kids right outta high school were still like that a little bit. Some of them.

      Although I guess it could be like an Animal House thing, the kind of wacky cartoon college where jocks are sent into a frothy rage by the presence of “NERRRRDS!!”

      1. Pat

        People did that in high school?

        I kinda figured that girl knows who Billie is and was messing with her.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          I assume it must have but then again, I never went to an American Highschool.

      2. LiamKav

        We are only, what, two weeks into the start of term, so there’s probably loads of people still hanging out in their old cliques.

  15. Kasamari

    NERD (^_^)

  16. Tunasammich

    Embrace the nerd side, Billie. We have bacon

    1. mechaqua

      and Joss Whedon and skittles.

    2. Pat

      They told me there would be bacon.
      There is no bacon.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Bacon is over-rated anyhow.

        1. Bill M.

          You quit that blaspheming right now! Bacon is an orgy for the mouth.

        2. RandomWebcomicsJunky

          You are incorrect, Bill M. – ORGIES are an orgy for the mouth.

          Bacon’s just fatty pig carcass.

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          I think I will stick with THE original white meat, not the ‘other white meat’ thank you very much. 😀

        4. mechaqua

          Racoon meat?

        5. Plasma Mongoose

          Raccoon meat is dark meat, I was talking about chicken/turkey.

        6. Jackson

          I love bacon as much as the next guy, but I agree with you: it is overrated.

        7. Plasma Mongoose

          A webcomic link, must. resist. urge. to. archive-binge!

        8. fatemaster1

          Dammit, now I have to archive binge that one too! I’ve achive binging for three days already now and I’m still not done and now it’s going to take even longer thanks to yet another webcomic to archive binge!

        9. fatemaster1

          *I’ve been archive binging*

  17. Joebo

    http://youtu.be/M6cb1wO17tA

  18. Uniqueantique

    Welcome to the ‘nerd side’ Billie, you pretentious cheerleading arsehole. Relax and enjoy it, as Tuna says-we have bacon.

  19. AliaPie

    It’s funny, I’ve never really herd the word “nerd” used as an insult outside TV/movies. Maybe I only hang out with nerdy people…

    1. Buckybone

      I used it when I was a self-hating nerd. I’m better now.

    2. Mikehatesyou

      It isn’t used as an insult by anyone but stupid people. Everyone today has grown up with video games, toonami, and superhero movies. As a college student studying to be a high school teacher, I’ve hear more “popular” girls in today’s high schools talk about anime or video games like Mass Effect then the “nerds” I hung out with when I went to high school.

      Times are a changing, and TV/movies haven’t kept up. Or webcomics I suppose.

      1. DudeMyDadOwnsADealership

        Neither has Billie. Either the “Dragons” square-danced at their senior prom or this is SO the case.

        1. David

          I think you’re missing the obvious reason “Dragons” is on Billie’s cheerleader outfit and various other high school paraphernalia.

  20. Valkeer

    That akward moment when you realize you’re not one of the “cool” kids anymore…

    1. Bluebird

      Anymore? You mean I was, and I missed it? Damn!

    2. Zababcd

      Nonsense. I will always be one of the cool kids. Until I’m one of the cool adults. Then one of the cool senior citizens. Then one day I will die in epic fashion saving the world from several simultaneous threats including, but not limited to, alien invasion, robot apocalypse, and nuclear apocalypse. Then some kids will find my charred corpse and poke it with a stick, saying “Whoa. Cool.”

      No, I was never one of the cool kids either.

  21. Aegon01

    XD Awesome

  22. mechaqua

    *breath* NEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR *breath* RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD!
    *takes hit from inhaler*

    1. Tristan J

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRsPheErBj8

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        You call those nerds? Now these are NERD!

        1. Steven

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8c_4UZdPJs

  23. TemplarKnight

    Somebody put Billie on Suicide Watch.

  24. Vabolo

    They used the N-word!

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      OH NOES!

  25. mechaqua

    I have two words for those cheerleaders:

    BOILER UP!

  26. Jimmy

    I didn’t realize until I was in high school how terrible it was to be called a nerd. Although “loser” was used often enough to make me hurt many times.

  27. Ancestral Hamster

    Oooh! BURN!

  28. Ancestral Hamster

    Y’ know, the only way this could get better is Billie trying to convince the cheerleaders she is one of them (even showing them her high school uniform and pics) and they insist she could never have been a cheerleader because she’s too fat and ugly.

    “But, but … I have pictures!”
    “Photoshopped.”

  29. Darth Cariss

    Another good face. Nice work, Willis. That was pretty darn funny. Just as soon as I think I’ve seen the last funny face out of you, you come up with something else!

  30. Romanticide

    And the wheel of fortune has just made a spin.

  31. TPman

    Is this irony? I think this is irony.

    1. Azumango

      For once, yes. I’m fairly certain this can be correctly described as “ironic”

    2. Pat

      Nobody is ever *really* sure that something is irony.

      It’s terribly ironic. I think.

    3. Shade

      Hmmm closest meaning I can find is “an outcome of events contrary to what was, or might have been, expected.”

      So you could argue that to Billie personally, yes, yes it was. To us? Probably not.

      Funnily enough people calling something ironic when it’s not IS technically ironic.

      1. Shippy McShipper

        No, it is not, because we all EXPECT them to get it wrong.

        On the other hand, failing to call something genuinelly ironic ironic could arguably be ironic, but then no one notices.

      2. MM

        That would make it dramatic irony.

        1. JoeShep

          “The use of words expressing something other than their literal intention – now that IS irony!”

        2. Druid

          “Thats not Ironic, its just coincidental!”

        3. Andy

          Ok. We all agree that the current situation is not totally ironic, it is odd in unexpected ways that defies normal circumstances. Everybody happy with that?

        4. Shade

          Well yes there is that defintion too, but we’re talking about an event here and that was the only defintion to be found regarding irony and events. Words it’s so much easier.

  32. ALostProphet

    This is the part where Billie’s soul snaps like a Twix bar.

    1. Historyman68

      A delicious soul.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        …filled with a biscuit plus a caramel filling.

  33. mischugenah

    I honestly never noticed this sort of behavior in people once I got into college. It seemed like either the behavior or the people who practiced it didn’t make it that far.

    1. vlademir1

      Assuming you’re in the US, I’m going to guess you either went to some variation of private and/or small university. Speaking as someone who lives close enough to several universities to have had to deal with lots of students I’ve seen a lot of this from the freshmen among those in the greek system and sports, often with major chiding from their upperclassmen peers immediately afterward.

      Well not technically exactly like this, as I’ve rarely seen any serious nerd bashing and more often seen divides over the gender and sexuality issues and class and wealth issues that are major prevalent trends over the last twenty years in the US with the occasional religious and race issues mixed in.

      1. CommentSpawn

        I’m in the U.S., in a huge (~40,000 students) public university, where you can get a full ride for athletics and I’ve never seen this type of behavior since entering college. To be fair, I spend most of my time with other nerds. It’s also worth noting that I’ve been called a nerd; it just wasn’t with the insulting intent that’s in this strip.

      2. mischugenah

        No, I attended a major state university. I dunno, most people just didn’t seem to bother getting personally insulting anymore (tho I’m sure it happened in a few individual cases). I’m glad to hear the students you’ve witnessed being jerks got called out on it by the upperclassmen.

    2. quietdevious1

      Maybe it depends on how much emphasis the school puts on sports, and whether or not you can get a free ride based on your athletic ability.

    3. Mikehatesyou

      I think this behavior doesn’t really exist. People like that obviously wouldn’t have friends. I don’t even think girls like the cheerleader exist in High School anymore since cheerleading usually isn’t done for the elitism as much as it is for “gee, this will look great on my college application/my mom made me do sign up cause she was a cheerleader.”

      Besides, calling someone a “nerd” hasn’t been an insult since 2003.

  34. The Aussie Bloke

    Welcome to the club, Billie. Get yourself comfortable. You’ll be here a looooooooooooong time.

    Watch out for the gamer geeks, though. Some of them seem to think females are a myth.

  35. NF

    Do not want!

  36. Kernanator

    Sometimes I think the Billie Trauma Train has reached the end of its humor. But when something ironic like this happens, I stop caring and start laughing.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      But you gotta hand it to her, she sure has a great caboose.

      1. Mr. Morningstar

        she does doesnt she?

      2. Kernanator

        Choo-choo!

  37. Aizat

    To quote Peter Stromare “Oh snap!”

  38. quietdevious1

    I remember the day in university when I realized I was no longer one of the smartest people around. A girl who looked and acted like all the stupid people I knew in high school helped me with chemistry. My superiority complex has never recovered.

    I wonder if this feels the same?

    1. KresyAntics

      Yea it sucks, there are now special group of 12 ‘models’ that are above 3.0 GPA most above 3.5 and are DDG, all of them.

      Cute girls can be smart when they “feel” like it benefits them. The case with Billie and these cheerleaders definately do not feel any benefit.

      1. Steven

        Nope. Sleeping with the professor/TA/grader.

      2. agentksilver

        As someone who is cute and booksmart, I am so incredibly insulted by comments like that. We work. Damn. Hard. We put up with the same shit everyone else puts up with. Cuteness accounts for nothing once you’re past nine. High cheekbones and arranging my hair correctly is a morning routine. An A on my history paper is an accomplishment. Beauty has given me exactly dick (okay three dicks over the course of five years), and other every cute girl I’ve met has done the same thing I have — wised up and worked their asses off for that A so they can land that government/nonprofit job.

        (I live near DC so everyone wants government/nonprofit work)

  39. Historyman68

    See, she calls other people nerds, but then someone else calls *her* a nerd!

    This has been “explaining the joke.” Thank you.

  40. Plasma Mongoose

    Face it Billie, they’re not your people anymore.

  41. DiDi

    You know what I wanna know?

    If Billie is go gung ho about still wanting to be a cheerleader, why doesn’t she just try out?

    Or did she already do so and get rejected?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      She will need to give up all the booze and get fit if she wants any hope of becoming a cheerleader again but I believe that her days as a cheerleader are over.

  42. LiC

    Ah, delicious irony.

    Although, for some reason I thought that Billie was still doing cheerleading.

  43. C.

    Despite the author’s noble intent to cut the email address, we can safely guess what the full address is.

    1. Bill M.

      Really? We’ve seen other e-mail addresses for characters there? Colleges can do lots of fiddling around with their domain names. My e-mail in college had the server they kept the e-mail on in addition to the college’s normal ending.

  44. Flimsyfishy

    This moment will forever be etched in Billie’s memory. Also she really doesn’t have much to worry about seeing as if she was a cheerleader, she wouldn’t have a lot of things to cheer for.

  45. Kalan

    Burnsauce, Billie!

  46. Maycroft

    How the powerful have fallen.

  47. Yuki

    Raise your hand if you absolutely despise people like that cheerleader.

    And fall over laughing if you recognize that Billie’s getting exactly what she used to give.

  48. Tom T.

    No tags for the hot, mean cheerleaders? 🙁

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Unless she shows up again and again, she won’t be given a title let alone a stereotypical cheerleader name like Bambi, Candi, Jessi, Monique, Muffy and so on.

  49. lordphulish

    My guess is she has some pre-marital hanky panky immediately to feel better.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      She tried getting some earlier, remember?

  50. Heavensrun

    This is the part where Billie goes berserk.

    1. Shippy McShipper

      Cue the sniper rifles and clock towers.

      This place DOES have a clock tower, right?

    2. StClair

      Next strip: long shot(s) of the campus, with Billie’s scream.

      1. Heavensrun

        (Thumbs up)

  51. chumpersonable

    Billie.exe has experienced an error.
    Reboot and try again?

  52. OmegaDez

    And the harsh truth hits her like a ton of bricks.
    A cheerleader cannot be an asian girl with glasses who hangs out with nerds.

    1. ElGatoBlanco

      She would have nerdy fanboys all over her at every game.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        and your grav gives your comment an extra depressing edge to it.

  53. TJ Baltimore

    I feel kinda bad for Billie. Has anything worked out in her favor since starting college? She’s been quite rude to several characters, but to wake up and realize that your life peaked in high school–harsh (even though it’s the revenge of former high school nerds on their former aggressors everywhere).

    Also . . . she’s really not fat. Ruth is unnecessarily mean in calling Billie “Tubs”, “Lardo”, and “Thunder Thigh[s]”. Billie’s kinda curvy perhaps, but it looks nice on her, I think. I haven’t really seen any obese students here yet.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Then again, Billie is a bit pudgy, at least by Hollywood standards.

    2. Andy

      It is odd that there’s not been any obese students, what with this comic being set in the Midwest and all.

  54. ziggy78eog

    Is that the cold, hard, slap, of reality I see across Billies face? Why yes, I think it is.

  55. BriGuy

    *Turns towards the camera*

    Here’s where Billie goes berserk.

  56. Wilkie

    Is it bad that I’m way more concerned with figuring out which building this is on the IU campus than what happened in the strip?

    1. Wilkie

      Oh it’s Ernie Pyle! I feel dumb…I work there. Carry on.

  57. Plan D

    I thought she was a cheerleader? Somebody remind me. Is this Ruth’s fault?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Unless Ruth told that cheerleader to insult Billie, I seriously doubt it.

    2. Zababcd

      Was a cheerleader once upon a time. Isn’t anymore, but wishes to retain associated social status. Thought she would be equally highly-regarded as a journalist.

  58. Robert in San Diego

    Rejection can be cruel.

  59. Eve

    Wait why didn’t she try out for cheerleading again?

  60. Kernanator

    THIS IS DELICIOUS IRONY, YOU MUST EAT IT.

  61. JasontheFuzz

    I love finding amazing new comics, but it always sucks to come to the end of the archives and know I’ll only get a daily fix from then on. Such is the way of the webcomic.

    Anyway, I can only assume somebody made this same association (in the past thousands and thousands of comments under the strips), but Dumbing of Age reminds me of Questionable Content and Candi Comics. I’m dead serious about the second one. “Candi- A College Story” and “Dumbing of Age- a college webcomic”… what are the odds? They have fairly similar storylines too- although Candi has more sex. Just a little more, though.

  62. Charles RB

    *points* AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH HA HA.

    AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH HA HA.

    AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH HA HA.

  63. Asuka L.S.

    Anyone else hear the sound of shattering glass when they saw Billie’s expression in the last panel?

  64. newllend

    Wow,today has just ben off the wall funny as HELL!

  65. SgtNumnum

    There goes her ego

  66. discountmusketeer

    Yes, this is EXACTLY how college works. Like an 80’s high school movie.

    (it does not)

    1. Rheios

      You do have a point. College was nice for me because it seemed like most people were either more open minded or just didn’t care enough to go out of their self-appointed schedules to be dicks. I mean plenty of exceptions but they wouldn’t be what I called the norm.

  67. Aisling

    I’ll take the nerdy asian girl over the stuckup toothpicks in skirts any day.

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