Definitely birth control
Posted on September 16, 2025 by David M Willis

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Tags: dorothy, hank, joyce

267 thoughts on “Definitely birth control”

  1. shadowcell

    godlessness is correlated with sometimes leaving your stuff in random places, don’tcha know

    1. C.T Phipps

      Hank: I mean, you could have just said you it fell out of your purse or you were going to take them.

      Joyce: Are you telling her how to lie?

      Hank: I mean, she’s really bad at it.

      1. Rose by Any other Name

        Not that it’s any of Hank’s business, but I think the truth would have shut him up way faster.
        Joyce: “Well, dad, I get these really painful periods and that kind of pill helps make them hurt less.”
        Ten to one, Hank would have interrupted her as soon as the word period happened and asked her to never speak of it again. In my (admittedly limited) experience, even more liberal leaning dads get freaked when their daughters talk about their periods.

        1. thejeff

          “Anything you want to tell me, Joyce?”
          “Yeah. If you’d taken me to a proper doctor years ago, I wouldn’t have suffered crippling pain every other month for years.”

        2. Wizard

          Yeah, the “feminine problems” might, if anything, be even more awkward than sex
          But really, I think they should come clean. Hank may or may not be accepting, but deceiving him now isn’t likely to make him more accepting later.

  2. NGPZ

    fuck you Hank

    Dorothy, just why

    also YAY DINA WITH MCDONALDS IN BACKGROUND AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! <3

    1. NGPZ

      ? my one and only dream in life, ?
      ? is to eat McDonalds with Dina plushie! ?

      \(^-^)/ <3

    2. SillyGoose

      Fuck you? I think he’s doing fine
      ‘none of my business ‘ is a sentiment I can get behind. Of course it depends on whether he thinks that applies across the board or only to Dorothy though.

    3. GreyICE

      Dorothy going into random “I can handle this” mode with no brakes. Really needs to stop doing that.

      1. Needfuldoer

        But it’s served her so well until now!

        /s

    4. Sharizard

      You know, for half a second i just assumed that Dina was hanging out in the background of the strip snacking on some fries and that i had missed it.

      We all know she’s more than capable of doing so.

    5. Nymph

      I’m actually not sure what Hank is doing wrong here. “It’s none of my business” is a reasonable conclusion after a little puzzled conversation.

    6. zee

      Dawg chill, the man spoke without thinking and realized it was actually none of his business. Basically if Joyce handled her joyceness calmly instead of freaking out on realization

      1. NGPZ

        spoke, and picked up the pills

        fundie or not, he really shouldn’t have crossed that really personal boundary to begin with (-_-)

  3. Skyeribbon

    Joyce being the voice of “calm the f down girl” is frying me

  4. Animedingo

    Hank pick a lane

    1. AlexanderHammil

      The old reflexes are there and it takes him a second or two to remember he doesn’t have to care anymore

    2. AK

      He did. The lane was I don’t actually want to know about my daughter’s sex life, it’s fine. It just took him a sec. This was a good job Hank moment.

      I suspect Joss will be a topic with more dang it Hank energy though.

      1. S.R.

        Yeah, “I retract my probably-impulsive question” is a solid enough response.

        (also, although another person’s sex life is generally not someone’s business, a parent wanting to know when their child has become sexually active, generally out of concern for the child’s physical and emotional safety, is pretty dang common and really not that unreasonable. Theoretically prying a bit too much out of genuine concern is very far down the list of concerns re. a parent’s behavior, IMO.)

        1. Liara

          Maybe it’s cause my parents weren’t fuckin weird about sex, but I can’t help but think a parent prying into their child’s sex life is weird at best, genuinely concerning at the worst

        2. Big Z

          My parents weren’t fuckin’ weird about sex either, and I try not to be with my own teenager, but there’s a point where it’s pretty reasonable for parents to want to know broad-strokes ideas of what a kid is up to sexually, given the need to counter the sheer amount of insane misinformation about sex (and the risks thereof, and the management of same) that’s out there.

          As with many many other things in this latter-day information age, part of a good parents’ job is to help kids get through the sea of misinformation.

        3. thejeff

          It also depends on the child’s age. Joyce is an adult, not living at home. Any concern at this point should really be focused on “Well, I hope we taught them enough sex ed to protect themselves, both physically and emotionally”.

          Which of course in the Brown’s case, they definitely didn’t.

          And the “Anything you want to tell me, Joyce?” thing is definitely accusatory.

        4. Big Z

          See, I dunno if I’d call “in college” as unequivocally “adult” for the purposes of parental supervision. I certainly wasn’t “a full adult” during my own college years.

          If I trusted Hank to be a bit better, I might even go so far as to hope he’d be thinking something like “I KNOW we didn’t teach you enough, maybe I can start making up for that” but I don’t think he’s drifted as far from Carol as I would have wanted him to.

        5. Tan

          Please bear in mind that Joyce was in fact still living at home until a week ago when Carol sold said home out from under her. She still had her room there and was distinctly not moved out, even though obviously she spends most of the school year in the dorms. As of this particular moment, she does not actually know where she will be living over the summer. Hopefully Hank has room for her?? But it’s unknown (and to the best of our knowledge unpondered)

        6. thejeff

          Pretty sure Joyce didn’t live in her childhood home with Carol over the winter break – though I don’t think we know where she was. (I assume with Hank, unless she stayed with Becky?) And she wasn’t going back, even if she hadn’t gotten all her stuff out yet.

          But it doesn’t matter. Officially fully adult or legally living at “home” or not, she’s in a place (both physically and in her life) where her parents can’t control her sex life anymore. For better or worse.

      2. Minivet

        I don’t think it’s clear yet that he’s reevaluating everything like Joyce did (or even like Becky did, i.e. keeping his faith). He’s not stupid, he hasn’t yet been convinced that the birth control is Dorothy’s; but his last-panel expression makes me think in the moment he’s like “Look, I’m really tired, I can only fight so many battles at a time.” His underlying stance on (a) what this means about Joyce and (b) his right to dictate is still up in the air.

      3. jubs

        All in all I think this went better than had Joyce replied “I have absolutely debilitating menstrual pains.”

    3. Tan

      MULTI-TRACK DRIFTING.

  5. Dot

    I really love how they’re just lying about stuff that doesn’t need to be lied about at all because they’re fully in panic mode.

    1. Dot

      Like if they just told Hank the reason Joyce takes birth control he’d probably understand completely. It’s not black magic and he’s a medical professional.

      1. Queen Anthai

        This EXACTLY. I need mine for my cramps.

        1. Decidedly Orthogonal

          I read this as *Joe* taking birth control for his cramps. ?

        2. jubs

          He’s a very caring and supportive companion, her cramps are his cramps. <3

      2. C.T Phipps

        Hank probably does think they’re only for sex but by his reaction, he doesn’t care.

        Mind you, there’s, “is better than the rest of his church and accepting on the spot his trans daughter and newly awakened bisexual one.”

        1. Wizard

          IIRC he left his old church for someplace at least a little less toxic.

      3. Lee

        Was ? thinking that lol. I took them in my v early teens for hormone complications ?

      4. thejeff

        Hank’s a medical professional, but he’s also a fundy. Or has been throughout Joyce’s life. He has to have known how bad Joyce’s period pain was, but he never got her medical attention for it.

      5. MAC089

        Exactly. Dorothy didn’t urge Joyce to follow her doctor’s advice to go on birth control to have sex with guys, but for her health.

    2. HueSatLight

      It’s Dorothy taking on Joyce qualities, when there’s an uncomfortable question, lie and lie terribly.

      Jennifer would ace this interaction, “Cramps” and maybe an offhand comment on how Joyce should have been on them years ago. Ok, Jennifer would get a solid C+ in this interaction.

      1. Folus

        “when there’s an uncomfortable question, lie and lie terribly.”

        I thought she gave up the presidential aspirations? /s

    3. Lumino

      “The truth is usually just an excuse for a lack of imagination.” Garak

      1. Kyrros

        “Even birth control?”

        “… especially birth control.”

        1. eh, whatever

          Day saved.

        2. Lumino

          I love you.

    4. Kyulen

      It looks like Hank suspects Dorothy is lying here, but he’s decided not to press the issue.

    5. Kyrros

      “They’re mine Daddy. It’s the low-dose** kind they prescribe for severe cramping. Mom wouldn’t ever let me have them because she thought it’d be a ‘gateway’ to premarital hanky-panky… and made me just ‘suck it up’ because it was all in my head. Turns out it wasn’t all in my head and that it’s pretty common, just that noone talks about it, because it’s so taboo. They’ve really helped me in school now that I don’t have to crawl into a cave and die for [X number of days] every month. Sorry I didn’t say anything earlier, but people tend to ‘assume things’ when people start talking about birth control.”

      **Yes, I know that low-dose is not necessarily a common thing… but Hank may not know that. I have found that calling it ‘low dose’, initially, helps separates the medicine from the stimga when first talking about it with people who don’t know about these kinds of things…. yes it’s a lie, but social stigmas/taboos are also dumb, so anything to grease those wheels, in ‘first-timer’ conversations, I usually find acceptable.

    6. CrimsonStorm

      Also if they were going to lie “they’re Sarah’s” would have been a much simpler one lol

      1. marcus erronius

        Why choose a simple and plausible lie when you can choose one that’s complicated and sounds super suspect?

        And don’t even think about the truth! “They’re mine, the doctor prescribed them because my menstrual cramps were so bad I had to skip class, and these make them bearable”? Absolutely not.

    7. Andy

      The guilty flee when no one pursues.

      Hank may not know his daughter is on the spectrum but he knows how she behaves. I’m surprised he doesn’t check in with her more often. With better communication, she might have told him she’s on meds for a “female condition “. That she has /had a boyfriend. Instead, after all the trauma, people are scolding Hank for even being involved in her life.

      He drove for hours because he was worried about one of his children. Now Joyce and Dorothy are playing games rather than just telling him that that child is safe and uninjured.
      They are safe.
      They texted me.
      I don’t know where they are exactly.
      They are still in town.
      I’m not sure why they aren’t answering your texts and calls
      I’ll text them to let them know you’re here and want to see them.

      If they start with lies, are they planning to just continue to lie to Hank forever? Hank who pays for everything in Joyce’s life?

      A cascade of consequences await.

      YMMV, but my children were deployed to war zones. If I got the run around about their status I would be incandescent.

      1. Proxiehunter

        You know who else flees when no one pursues? People with PTSD because of how many times they’ve been pursued.

      2. thejeff

        He’s showing how worried he is about Jocelyne by focusing on Joyce’s contraception.

      3. thejeff

        Also, yeah they’re going to lie to him. And hopefully warn Jocelyne he’s here.

        Because however much he’s worried about her, outing her to him might not be safe.

    8. Vulcanodon

      I mean, they have a few other things on their minds at the moment.

    9. Bisenija

      They could have also said they were Sarah’s, which is far more plausible. Very funny job there Dotty

  6. Embe13

    kissing leads by 50

  7. mindbleach

    Hank, buddy, this was the bunny slope of what you’re about to learn today.

  8. Stormtide Leviathan

    Wouldn’t have been your business if they were joyce’s either, hank

    1. Armadillo

      I mean, I’m pretty sure he agrees. Because I don’t think for a second Hank found Dorothy convincing.

      1. Stormtide Leviathan

        Yeah fair lol

        1. Casi

          the fact that you have the same grav makes this so much funnier because i could totally see him talking to himself like that

      2. Astariel

        Well, he brought up the topic. It’s not like Dorothy launched into this umprompted.

  9. Patrick

    Hank sure is familiar with The Pill, huh. More evidence that the Browns have radicalized along with the rest of evangelical America…

    1. Jon

      I mean, I feel like birth control is pretty recognizably shaped and talked about in pop culture.

      1. Tan

        I have definitely seen that specific packaging for birth control pills in tv commercials

      2. Veronica

        Why exactly does American birth control come in a whole specially shaped *thing*?

        1. drs

          Package of 28 pills, 7 of which are different from the rest, that need to be taken on a schedule?

        2. zee

          I mean yeah but mine come in a more or less normal envelope shape with a sticker to label the days. I’ve also worked at the drug counter of a pharmacy and seen a bunch of different brands, none of them looked like that. It doesn’t need to be a big round plastic thing, that’s an American thing. I honestly didn’t even think those were real.

        3. Wizard

          It helps keep track of the schedule, especially since some of the pills are placebos. Although I have heard of women taking full dose pills all the time. This can lead to less frequent periods or none at all. If the woman later decides she’s ready for kid(s), she can usually reverse this easily just by stopping the pills.

        4. Veronica

          You can just print the days directly on to the foil of the blister pack and have the sugar pills be differently coloured on that part of the foil.

    2. RassilonTDavros

      As others have pointed out, he’s a medical professional and likely has to be familiar with other medications his patients take to prevent any adverse interactions.

    3. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      “Oral contraceptives pills (OCPs) are common and a convenient form of contraception. The use of hormonal contraceptives by women has been considered to influence gingival and periodontal disease progression.”

      So he needs to know about them for professional reasons.

      https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6531981/

    4. HueSatLight

      I don’t understand what A would have to do with B.

      1. Taffy

        Fundies think the pills contain radioactive Satan particles that turn you into a slut and ruin your vagina forever, so they gather around a fire and share a single photograph of the case the pills come in, with the names of all the most common ones written on the back. That way they can know just what they’re up against while they safeguard their daughters’ vaginas. Y’know, like normal people.

        1. HueSatLight

          There’s like a 10ish year gap between John and Jocelyne. Hank is probably familiar with the pill because Carol was on it. Or you know, he existed in American society. I don’t know why it’s remarkable he “sure is familiar” with the pill.

        2. Taffy

          If you say so.

  10. Nono

    Okay, plot prediction time:

    Carol knows Joyce is dating Joe. As such, it’s possible Hank knows as well (the how doesn’t matter so much.)

    The trio might run into Joe and Hank does the “dad grilling his daughter’s boyfriend” routine.

    Dorothy thinks Joyce and Joe are playing along but then find out they’re still uh, dating.

    Dramaaaaaaa!

    1. Dot

      There is no reason to assume Carol and Hank talk at all frankly.

      1. Fuzzy

        I mean, no, but they might. Or Carol might text-rant at Hank sometimes. It’s possible Hank knows from Carol.

        1. Taffy

          It’s also possible he knows from Owen Wilson.

      2. Nymph

        Sure, but it’s possible, which is what Nono said.

        I think this would be a very interesting way for that particular plot-thread to go.

    2. Jon

      I actually really like this sequence of events.

      Plus it would be a form of roundabout retribution for that time Joyce strong armed Jacob into a “fake-date” sitcom premise with his brother.

    3. Kai

      OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
      THAT WOULD BE AWFUL YET HILARIOUS HOLY SHIT

  11. QueenofSodor

    “yeah i keep my birth control in this room so joyce doesn’t accidentally get me pregnant”

    1. Amós Batista

      Depending the tone you use to say it, Carol could believe it a little.

  12. Rosicrucian

    I get the feeling that Hank is the real one everyone’s expecting to flip out, but he’s the one who might actually be trying to do right by his kids.

    Also, he knows birth control on sight. Quite probably because Carol used to take it. Possibly even for the same reason Joyce does.

    1. Thag Simmons

      My expectation for Hank is that he’ll do better than you fear, but worse than you’d hope.

    2. C.T Phipps

      Hank seems a bit surprised but let us note he’s the one who backed off the conversation topic despite Dorothy’s lie being obvious.

      1. a/snow/mous/e

        Yeah, idk why people are acting like Hank was being shitty in today’s strip. It started off a bit accusatory, but it seems to me like he’s decided it’s not worth poking into all the new developments in Joyce’s life. …On the other hand, while he hasn’t been all that shitty to Joyce, I don’t necessarily trust him to be accepting of Jocelyne. The misgendering could be just old habits dying hard, but I honestly have no idea how Hank would handle having LGBTQ family members. The fact that he’s come out here looking for Joss is pretty concerning. (Is the protest still going on?)

        1. Donovan

          he doesn’t even look mad in that first panel. Confused/inquisitive, maybe. Possibly a little judgy, but nothing’s pinging my ‘extreme’ radar.

          And I grew up in small town Evangelical land, so.

        2. thejeff

          “Is there anything you want to tell me, Joyce?” is definitely accusatory.

        3. Donovan

          I mean, yeah? I just said it wasn’t enough *on its own* to flag as ‘dire’ to me.

        4. Tarod

          The sad thing is being crazy about your kids and not accepting that they are transgender aren’t mutually exclusive. Hence the drama.

        5. KM

          Tbh he knows she was there and that it was broken up by riot police – he ought to be concerned even if the transgender issue didn’t exist.

    3. Shade

      Eh, most evangelicals will give married women with children a pass for using birth control.

      Joyce is a young unmarried woman with no children, so it’s now scandalous.

      1. C.T Phipps

        Speaking as an ex-fundamentalist as well, almost every single one of the women I knew at college with similar backgrounds were using birth control as well. Because the rules are for other people.

    4. S.R.

      Isn’t he a dentist? What meds his patients are on is relevant to that, so he’d know about birth control from there. Plus, that particular design of birth control case is pretty well known in pop culture.

    5. Minivet

      I feel like there’s still a wide range of positions on hormonal birth control even among hard evangelicals. The super-politicized ones are currently lying about it causing abortion and trying to get it banned, but that’s just a faction, and probably not a majority; very many would be fine with it for planning in the confines of marriage. For purposes of premarital sex, less so.

      1. Donovan

        I think some people are under estimating how many different shades the ‘fundie beliefs’ spectrum can manifest (for lack of better words).

        1. Taffy

          No no, they don’t get to be a spectrum. I’m gatekeeping spectrums from the fundies. They don’t get to have cool stuff.

  13. Boh No

    Smooth operators…

  14. Opus the Poet

    As has been repeatedly posted here in the past, BCP are not just for preventing pregnancy.

    1. thejeff

      In the fundy world they are.

      1. Li

        No no in the fundie world they’re ALSO for killing babies.

        Yes, some fundies think hormonal birth control is “an aborticant”. Especially the ones who think life begins at fertilization, they think hormonal birth control lets eggs be fertilized before it expels them.

  15. ZombieKyrik

    This isn’t going well already, but it can’t get much worse… right?

    1. Clif

      Hilarity ensues.

    2. S.R.

      Oh, it could be so much worse. Hank going “never mind” is a solid response here.

  16. Ado

    The more I read this strip, the better the title is

  17. JA

    Guys I think he didn’t buy it.

  18. anonymsly

    ….they’re medical. For debilitating monthly pain.

    Why the everliving F would Joyce not SAY THAT? It’s innocent enough and actually TRUE.

    1. Fuzzy

      Somehow she keeps forgetting that’s why she takes them.

    2. Rosicrucian

      Because her mother, who mind you is not present, has drilled it into her that they’re hussy pills.

      And she has no reason to believe her dad is the cool one.

      1. Fuzzy

        She totally does have reason to believe that. Hank has been the cool one in front of her.

        1. Shade

          He has been cooler than Carol, that is a not a high bar.

        2. Clif

          Joyce, may in fact be ready to say that, anonymsly.

        3. Alongcameaspider

          He has, after significant hardship, decided he’s okay with Becky being gay

          Being accepting of one thing does not automatically make someone accepting of all things and theyre right to be careful

        4. Summer

          Bingo. Lots of people here seem to have no real understanding of the fundie mindset, regarding birth control or as a general mindset.

        5. marcus erronius

          True. Many fundies understand birth control pills primarily as something someone takes to let them have consequence-free premarital hanky-panky. He would probably be easy to convince otherwise, but also I think Joyce had been coming around to the idea of them being useful to her in that way, so she might feel like she’s lying to him.

          And coming out as bi to her dad? No matter how accepting he is of Becky, it’s going to hit him different when it’s his own daughter. And with (I think) Jocelyn coming out to him as trans very soon (already?), this’ll be a lot for him to accept at one time.

          Talking to fundie parents is fkn difficult. It’s like a box of chocolates with an unknown number of turds mixed in: you never know what you’re gonna get.

      2. thejeff

        There’s little reason to think that was only her mother, rather than both of her parents, along with the whole church community.

        And Joyce isn’t in enough of a rage right now to decide this is something she’s going to fight on, like she did for Becky after the kidnapping.

    3. segnosaur

      That would be the smart thing to do.

      But, given her fundamentalist christian background, they probably drilled into their kids “you shouldn’t need birth control because premarital sex is bad”, ignoring alternative explanations.

      1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        Now I am wondering if Joyce got the cervical cancer vaccine.

        1. Adeptus

          Absolutely not, I would think

  19. StClair

    absolutely living the title of the comic.

    Dotting it up.

  20. C.T Phipps

    I like how this is obviously Hank trying to make a joke and not really being **too** concerned about his daughter possibly practicing safe sex.

    But Joyce and Dorothy are still terrified.

    Because, well, *gestures to everything*

    1. eh, whatever

      What, if anything, makes you think this is a joke???

  21. Gizen

    I get why she’s not, lingering religious shame, fear of how her dad would take it, ‘dumb’ing of age, etc. But still, considering Joyce genuinely hasn’t had sex with anyone, and that Hank is not Carol, it genuinely pains me that they don’t just give the honest answer here. “A doctor prescribed it to make the agonizing pain of my cramps go away.” If nothing else, it certainly couldn’t go any worse than what Dorothy’s doing here could.

    1. C.T Phipps

      Joyce believes she’s had sex with two people.

      One on multiple occasions.

      1. S.R.

        Well, she hasn’t had the kind of sex one normally associates with birth control.

    2. S.R.

      Yeah, they really should have just answered truthfully, buuut in their defense they’re not just dumbing, they’re panicking.

    3. thejeff

      Hank is not Carol, but Hank helped raise Joyce and supported all the sexual repression Joyce grew up with. There’s no reason for her to think he’d be okay with it. Even for controlling period pain.

  22. Wraithy2773

    Seriously, Dorothy, Joyce, is “Its medicine to treat serious menstrual pain” really all that complicated to say? He’ll either understand because he’s a good father, or he’ll flee back into a “NOPE THAT’S WOMENS PROBLEMS NOT A CHRISTIAN MAN’S FIELD” area that would have the same effect!

    *realizes that Dorothy’s shown terrible quick-reaction instincts, and Joyce is probably not in a space where she’d ever admit to needing anything to her one halfway decent parent*

    …right, comic title, comment withdrawn…

    1. C.T Phipps

      I mean Joyce intends to use it to have sex with her boyfriend.

      She also keeps FORGETTING its for menstrual cramps because she wants to have sex.

      1. Wraithy2773

        I mean, its not also for that, but she literally got it to treat her menstrual pain, that’s a 100% valid reason to give to an inquisitive parent!

        1. Wraithy2773

          Gah, should be “its also for that” >_>.

        2. thejeff

          Sure, but she thinks of them as her “hussy pills” and she knows her dad will to, so that defense doesn’t come to mind.
          Joyce was famously freaking out about the pharmacist knowing she was getting birth control and people are expecting her to be calm and collected to her dad about it?

        3. Wraithy2773

          I mean, I literally went “oh yeah joyce isn’t in the right headspace to do this obvious thing” in my OP, so, uh, no, I’m kinda not?

      2. Mr.Morningstar

        Tbf she got it primarily for her menstrual pain. The no babies thing was just a solid bonus

    2. Serendipity

      Could be worried that her Dad is one of the “virtuous suffering” type Christians.

  23. Freezer

    Why tell the truth when a lie will needlessly complicate everything?

    1. Ray Radlein

      The guiding ethos of Dumbing of Age

      1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        Number Two, right after “Never lock the door.”

  24. Suet

    Just don’t tell that you drink a whole Sierra Mist Sprite with every pill.

    eh, why not travel with plushie Dina to every state. heck, around the world. with pictures, of course.

    1. Random832

      Sierra Mist doesn’t exist anymore, and I’m pretty sure by now it’s never existed in the timeline of the comic. Do we think Joyce drinks Starry now?

      1. Delivery McGee

        I’ve only had Sierra Mist/Starry twice (the former at a place that only sold Pepsi products, the latter when I thought it was something new and I’ll try any soda once). It is the worst lemon-lime soda. The citrus sodas align with the cola brands they’re made by in quality. Dr Pepper/7Up best, Coke/Sprite second, then most store-brand knockoffs of DP and Coke’s versions, Pepsi/Starry worst.

        1. DinaJoyce

          I am professionally obligated to mention that Dr Pepper is NOT a cola. It does not contain Kola nut, which is what gives colas their name. This is a very important distinction legally, because it allows restaurants to sell Dr Pepper as well as Coke/Pepsi without violating any non-compete agreements.

          The Cola owned by Keurig-Dr Pepper is RC Cola.

        2. Taffy

          Fuck all lemon-lime sodas. Ski buries all of them in a pit that Godzilla would have trouble getting out of.

      2. Astariel

        Joyce hated Sierra Mist. She only drinks Sprite.

    2. John Campbell

      Because she’ll never compete with Speedy the Gerbil.

    3. BarerMender

      You should do that. I’ll look at the pictures here at home.

    4. Fuzzy

      As a dentist, Hank would probably find that a little distressing.

  25. Rikunda

    She only got them to help with her period pains. There is no shame in periods! Well shouldn’t be anyways.

  26. EmTaya

    Aurora Borealis?

    1. Nura Calise

      Located entirely in your Kitchen?

      1. AbacusWizard

        In *this* economy??

        1. Lee

          Can I see it?

  27. Kyulen

    They could try actually telling the truth about why Joyce is on birth control, but I guess that would make too much sense.

    1. Serendipity

      For many Christians, suffering is virtuous and not to be avoided. If Hank’s like that, even the real reason could be extremely damaging to Joyce.

      1. Shade

        Also that “God never gives us more than we can bear.” thing that gets used to push people to suffer silently.

        1. C.T Phipps

          No proverb cannot be twisted to its opposite meaning.

      2. Doopyboop

        Plus, there’s a chance that even if they insist it is for medical reasons, which is the case for Joyce, fundies still view birth control as “the medicine that lets women be all slutty and what not”. I’d hope Hank isn’t that type of person, but it isn’t a guarantee.

        For example, my freshman roomy was on birth control and her parents were fundies. No matter how many times she informed her parents “I’m taking birth control to help my periods” it always became an argument of them trying to get her off them because “do you REALLY need them though…?”

      3. S.R.

        He really doesn’t seem THAT shitty. You have to be a pretty terrible parent to be fine with your kid being in serious pain on a regular basis.

        1. Proxiehunter

          You have to be a pretty terrible parent to hit your kids with a wooden spoon too.

        2. thejeff

          He lived with her for years while she suffered that serious pain every other month.

    2. Shiro

      While Hank has been cool about some things in the past, fundie parents are not SUPER known for being chill and understanding about their daughters being unexpectedly on birth control

      1. C.T Phipps

        Depends really as there’s a lot of fundamentalists who also look entirely the other way when its their children regarding things they condemn in others too.

        1. Shakes

          … like being bisexual or trans!

        2. Shiro

          For sure, but there’s no way to know which they might fall til they find out, at which point it’s too late to back out if they’re not cool with it

    3. Big Z

      Meh, JOYCE can barely tell the truth to HERSELF about her “hussy pills” (including that recent strip where she seemingly forgot that they were for anything other than “having less risky sex with Joe”), I don’t know why you’d imagine she’d be willing to say anything about them to her dad.

  28. AbacusWizard

    “Well, I guess it’s really none of my business.”

    That’s the most sensible thing you’ve said all day, Hank; keep up the good work!

    1. Zero

      He’s barely said anything.

      1. Taffy

        And that’s to his credit.

  29. Bobby

    considering Joyce herself has meltdowns about needing the stuff, much less having to explain it to her father…

    Like, yes, logically she could easily just say it’s medically necessary. The only denomination that’s vehemently against birth control is catholics, anyway.

    Even well meaning parents are liable to assume BC = having The Secks, and will see the medically necessary statement as an “excuse”.

    I’m with you on this, but I’m much more willing to argue with my parents than Joyce is

    1. Bobby

      …this was suppose to be a reply to Kyulen but ok comment section

  30. darkoneko

    …hahahahahahahaahahahahhaahahah WOW

    so back to worrying about Jocelyne maybe, papaJoyce ?

    1. KM

      Geez cut the guy some slack be dropped the matter in less than 4 text bubbles and has plenty of time to pivot back to the topic he drove all the way from la porte for

  31. Friday

    Hank: okay, one thing at a time…

  32. Slartibeast Button, BIA

    They are in Joyce’s name because … insurance fraud! She can get them cheaper than me, because she is on the University’s health insurance and, uh, I …

    1. BarerMender

      Yeah, Hank already looked at the name on the bottom.

  33. Slartibeast Button, BIA

    “Don’t get knocked up in college and marry someone you don’t really love like I, … uh …”

    1. KM

      Now this is a funny comment

    2. KM

      You know, considering John is quite a bit older than the rest of his siblings, this may even be true lol

  34. Adam Black

    Now tell him hemorrhage every other month due to an ovary problem. Really talk about the cramps and excess bleeding until hes shamed for asking.

  35. RassilonTDavros

    That’s the face of a parent who knows fully well that he’s being bullshitted, but has other fish to fry.

  36. Haz

    Shouldn’t there be a case of Sprite around too?

  37. Li

    The cackle I let out.

  38. Brendan of 6

    Plot Twist: Hank is looking for his son. AKA the one that didn’t transmogrify into his daughter. It just turns out that all three kids just look remarkably similar

    1. deliverything

      We never did find out much of anything about Jordan. Maybe he became a protest organiser and Hank’s checking if he was involved in the recent one?

  39. Agemegos

    Why assume that the pills are not Sarah’s?

    1. Invisible Bard

      I’m pretty sure they were on Joyce’s desk.

  40. C.T Phipps

    Hank: I saw Jordan at the protests!

    Joyce: What.

    Dorothy: ASMA IS JORDAN!?

    Joyce and Hank: *stare blankly*

    1. C.T Phipps

      Okay, that was two separate jokes that got joined together due to a cut and paste error and come off as phobic.

      My bad.

  41. BadRoad

    just tell him they’re for cramps

    which they are

    it’s not even a lie

    1. Josh

      The right answer was just sitting there!

    2. shanunu

      Right? Like I know the comic is called dumbing of age and we’re all young adults coming into our own and figuring out how to be normal people but like. Is her dad unaware of how bad her periods are? She’d be the only kid either of her parents are tracking this for. Maybe the conservative Christian in him doesn’t know what birth control can be used for but surely if she told him “actually dad it makes my cramps better” he would believe her, right?

      1. Doopyboop

        Some fundies truly do not care if it makes periods easier to manage because birth control pills are just that taboo. Since Joyce is his only daughter, he could have just assumed periods are always meant to be that bad with the cramping, and honestly I’d be shocked if he knew anything more than “bleeding happens once a month”. I’d put my money on Carol, as the other woman in the house, being the one expected to touch base with Joyce and teach her about that. And since Joyce’s initial reaction when asked about her painful periods was “periods are a punishment onto women because of Eve’s sin” …. well…

        1. Doopyboop

          Let me correct this too, what I mean is that Joyce is the only daughter he is aware of as well as the only daughter that goes through menstruations.

      2. S.R.

        It’s more common than you’d think for people to think serious menstrual pain is normal. Which it’s not- anything beyond an annoyance means something is wrong. But pop culture teaches us that periods are terrible, and there’s the whole “women menstruate because of Original Sin” thing.

        1. deliverything

          The “Original Sin” explanation seems especially weird to me given that whole “Jesus died for our sins” thing. Even if that doesn’t mean complete absolution, sins that predated Jesus should at least no longer affect people who had nothing to do with those sins.

  42. IntangibleMatter

    Listen

    Sometimes she’s hungry at night after a long makeout session with Joyce and needs some birth control as a little snack

  43. Derek

    hormonal birth control pills rarely come in those circular clam cases anymore, these days it’s more common for them to come in blister packs.
    but I guess that would not be as dramatic or whatever. it certainly makes sense that Hank would recognize a clam case if his wife or previous girlfriend ever used birth control; maybe Joyce got that type because she’s old fashioned

  44. Warmth

    The pedestal is falling so quick that one wonders if it was ever there.

  45. Derek

    do you guys remember when rush limbaugh (rest in piss) accused sandra fluke of being a whore because she gave testimony in congress that hormonal birth control is good for alleviating menstrual symptoms?

    Hank is at the right age here to have been a fan of rush back in the day, and what that whole debacle taught me is that conservative straight men don’t know and don’t care to learn anything about women’s health issues.

    was Hank that type of man? even if he is better now, if he never learned then he would still not know or struggle to understand

    all of this to say: it’s okay to lie to Hank about this, but also why make up this convoluted one? just say they’re Sarah’s and you don’t know what they are for. boom, problem solved
    nearly guaranteed Sarah won’t give a shit or she’d be willing to “take the blame” if it means less drama going forward

    1. thejeff

      Yup.

      He also showed he had no understanding of how birth control pills work: “She’s having sex so frequently that she can’t afford all the birth-control pills that she needs.”

      Seemed to think they work like the viagra he used for sex.

  46. Acher4

    From that first panel, I actually doubt Hank would have a problem with them being Joyce’s.
    His face seems more interested to know of new important developments than to “scold” or anything Ms Brown would do.

  47. Mr.Morningstar

    In their panic neither of them thought to say it was Sarah’s.

    As a side note I don’t agree but I can see the logic behind like Christians being against abortions but I cannot for the life of me get the weirdness of birth control.

    1. Adeptus

      It’s because the real issue is controlling women’s sexuality. God forbid your daughter even think about having sex for fun.

      1. Buck Ripsnort

        Because the whole point is to punish those jezebels for having any kind of sex without their fathers’ approval.

    2. BadRoad

      Basically it’s about *when* sex is sinful. Some think that if you’re married to your partner anything you do is cool; some think it’s about where you’re allowed to put specific pieces of anatomy; some think it’s all about whether it’s possible to make children in the process; some think it’s about whether you *intend* to make children. My family comes down in the general position of “if you’re married it’s fine but if it physically can’t make children it’s gross”. Incidentally, my cousin has gotten his wife pregnant *through* hormonal birth control *twice* so however unlikely it may be it’s at least still possible.

    3. MadScientist520

      The weirdness stems from the belief that sex without the intention of procreation is lustful sin.

  48. CianM1301

    Don’t see why Joyce couldn’t have just told Hank the truth, that the birth control is for medicinal reasons. Whether or not he believes her is up to him. Granted, it wouldn’t be as funny.

    1. Buck Ripsnort

      I’m betting this leads Joyce to actually come out to her father in all sorts of ways.

      1. CianM1301

        Oh, I sense many Freudian slips of the tongue coming soon.

    2. thejeff

      Joyce couldn’t even go the pharmacist without an elaborate scheme. She’s not going to be able to talk to her father about them.

  49. Tan

    The part I like best is Dorothy’s hubris in the last panel, completely unsupported by any prior panel.

  50. ADLegend21

    “I think we’re gonna have to kill this guy Steven”
    “Aw man”

  51. Summer

    With the lights on and him looking around, it’s only a matter of time before he sees one of the many copies of the paper with Joyce and Dorothy making out on the front.

  52. Veronica

    I will never stop being weired out by American birth control coming in a whole disc contraption instead of just a box and a blister pack

    1. Taffy

      Okay, but in England (mainly around London), The Pill©®™ comes in the same kind of paper packet as M&M’s. In France, it’s exclusively sold in Gachapon machines and you might get a rare foil sticker instead of your pills, depending on how recently the machine has been restocked.

    2. Yumi

      To be fair, it mostly doesn’t come that way now, but visual media seems more likely to use it still to help quickly convey what it is.

    3. Mr D

      My grandmother has Lupus, she has to take so many pills a day. She puts every single one of her pills in one of those. She has several, one of them is for all pills that need to be taken once a day so she takes them all at once, and the other ones are each for a pill that needs to be taken a few times a day.

  53. David

    Dorothy is throwing a hussy fit as an incompetent distraction. Poor Hank was actually wanting to have a talk with Joycelen about developments unknown to him. “Anybody else’s estrogen prescription I should know about?”

    1. eh, whatever

      There is no Joyce in Jocelyne. The letters are all there, yes, but not in the same order.

  54. YourCousinJay

    Man… Dot and Joyce just, love digging holes over nothing lol

    Like look at Hank’s face during this entire exchange i think he was literally just giving random commentary on a thing he didn’t expect to see. I doubt he even really gave a shit.

    1. eskimolos

      Pretty weird take, considering Joyce and Dorothy were kidnapped at the behest of a religious cult which Hank was a part of until recently, and persisting ties to which are still unclear. Considering most of the trappings of just bog standard common Christianity in America would have just about any parent flipping out over their 18~19 year old daughter being on The Pill, it is extremely likely Hank would do the same, at least from their perspective where they have now had to deal with multiple bouts of religion and sex-fuelled violence.

      Also this is sex stuff, which I have never known a single Midwestern dad to be comfortable talking idly about with their teenage daughter – if Hank is bringing it up, and especially when he is already worried about Joss, then it’s because seeing it made him Concerned.

      But, on a meta level, it is Willis trying to balance the overall tone so that we rise from Super Dread (Becky reaction) and different dread (Joyce Dad Appears), to keep the comic from being a consistent demoralising slog for readers as they still would like people to generally feel like this comic can be funny sometimes.

      1. InTheory

        Despite the current high-larious hijinks regarding BC pills, my heart still aches for Becky. Hope she’s OK.

    2. Astariel

      His asking Joyce if there’s anything she wants to tell him in panel one suggests he gives some amount of a shit.

  55. krispy

    I mean I feel dad would accept at this point ” it’s medicinal BC? Cause my woman issues are so bad they could cripple me during exams?

  56. FacelessDeviant

    I feel like the truth might be less controversial than the lie?

    “I get bad period cramps, and I mean really bad. These help.”

    1. eskimolos

      See, in Dorothy’s shoes I would absolutely put on my nerdsona and explain the symptoms and dangers of endometriosis and how proper investigation and diagnosis of this possible condition has likely been neglected since Joyce hit puberty, but fortunately we do have easily accessible treatment for it, those being birth control pills. But that wouldn’t be funny, and it’s not clear whether Hank would take any of that on board, also the girls are generally in constant panic mode for the last 20 or more hours now, so lizard brain no think too good.

      1. Adam Black

        Contaire, I think it would reverse the awkwardness and be very funny

  57. Raptor

    “Yes, there is something I want to tell you. Two things, actually. Those are for alleviating period pain, and I’m not interested in your faux outrage or shame. I mean, grow up,seriously. You sound like a 12 year old.”

  58. Zaxares

    Why not just tell Hank the truth? That you’re taking it to control very bad period pains. From everything we’ve seen of him, he seems smart and questioning enough to be able to adjust his worldview when new evidence comes to light instead of just blindly sticking to his ways.

  59. aSnowyEvening

    Joyce did you forget that you got birth control to help with your debilitating period pain? Dorothy calm down.

  60. Vulcanodon

    Most of us aren’t quick enough on our feet to think of the sarcastic answer such an intrusive question deserves. Like, today about four o’clock it’ll come to me for example.

    This is definitely not Hank’s best moment, demeanor-wise. I was hoping to propose that maybe he knows about Jocelyn but doesn’t know that Joyce knows and came to warn Jocelyn that Carol is incoming. But he’s being such a jerk that doesn’t seem likely.

  61. Yun Yi Zhang

    Maybe you should , Mr B.

  62. Big Z

    Making this a top-level comment:

    JOYCE can barely tell the truth to HERSELF about her “hussy pills” (including that recent strip where she seemingly forgot that they were for anything other than “having less risky sex with Joe”), I don’t know why anyone would imagine she’d be willing to say anything about them to her dad.

    As others have said, too, there’s a VAST amount of willful misunderstanding of hormonal birth control from the fundie/right camps, everything from “they kill babies just like abortion” to “you need more of them the more sex you’re having” (thanks, Rush) to “all menstrual symptoms they supposedly manage are made up, they are ONLY for enabling unrestrained premarital fucking”

    Fundie programming is hard to shake at the best of times. This is not the best of times for anyone here.

    1. deliverything

      Relevant strip:
      https://www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/book-16/01-not-so-smooth-criminals/handsoff/

    2. thejeff

      But also, birth control as birth control is critically important women’s health care. I understand that managing menstrual problems is a real reason many women use it, but sometimes I think the focus on that kind of cedes the “hussy” ground to the fundies. In terms of “they have a point about birth control, but people who aren’t hussies also need to use them for other actually moral reasons”.

      1. Big Z

        Oh, I’m not arguing that we in general should cede ground to the fundies, I’m just enumerating some of their stupid arguments and pointing out Joyce is still very lost in the sauce, atheist though she’s become.

  63. Andy

    People are skipping over why Hank is here. He is a little frantic about the safety of one of his children. And these goofs are delaying him.

    1. John Campbell

      Jocelyne is fine. They know that. They do not know if she’ll continue to be fine if Hank finds out she’s a she. Delaying him, ideally while someone sends her a warning, is the correct course of action.

    2. Proxiehunter

      They don’t know what Hank is frantic about, and quite frankly neither do we.

      He showed up frantically (possibly angrily, we can not hear tone of voice) demanding to know the location of Jocelyne who had recently come out to Joyce as transgender while using her old pronouns. While being worried regarding the protest is a guess that makes sense so is the possibility that he’s here to haul Jocelyne away to some form of conversion therapy. Even gay people can’t be trusted to be normal about trans people and an older straight (as far as we know) cis (as far a we know) white guy fresh out of a cult that condemned homosexuality and trans people (and likely considered being trans a form of homosexuality that’s a big thing with those who are anti-trans for religious reasons) doesn’t really have a lot of benefit of the doubt until after explaining what’s going on and why he’s looking for Jocelyne.

      I mean, can you blame them for assuming that’s what this is after they lived through The Toe That Walks Like a Man trying to kidnap Becky because she’s a lesbian just a few months ago?

  64. Drainiest Drain

    Friends, even if this isn’t the case with Hank, I’d like to bring up that even secular people – parents, men women and others, doctors, even – often believe that claims about period pain are exaggerations. Or don’t know how birth control actually works. Or even know there are three holes. There is a lot of predisposition to assuming you can only be on the pill for one reason and that is sex. I would do the same thing Dorothy did IRL here if I had a friend who wasn’t explicitly known to be on birth control.

    1. Drainiest Drain

      here IRL*

      1. Drainiest Drain

        I mean a gyno is gonna know there are three holes but maybe not that the cervix can be hurt

  65. Joco

    Joyce, dog, I get you’re scared but this is one of the times telling the truth is less painful than the lie you fabricated.

    “Debilitating period cramps”

  66. ScienceOfFantasy

    I choose to think of this as Hank already knowing, and thinking *Be nice, this is my future daughter-in-law just being a protective idiot.*

  67. Greylurker

    honestly they could really just tell the truth on this one

    1. DashWallkick

      Unfortunately, the gaze of your parents is a warping effect so for the next however long Joyce again believes they are “hussy pills”

      1. thejeff

        It’s not like she ever didn’t think they were “hussy pills”. Not deep down.

  68. Yeet

    dorothy, looking more sus than joyce is NOT falling on the grenade in this scenario
    funny though and that’s what matters

  69. BorkBorkBork

    Kids really do think their parents are morons, don’t they?

    I mean, this guy commented out loud with his daughter’s friends’ family about the awesome rack that a statue used to have; he wasn’t born yesterday. And he’s also right; it isn’t his business. Probably fell into a bad pattern with the first comment, but realizes it isn’t his place.

    … I think I’m coming to see that I really, REALLY need Hank to be a good dad, and the one who’s there for his kids. He kind of reminds me of my folks.

    1. Mr D

      IMO the comic needs some parental figures that are a) around and b) NOT SHIT

    2. Rowen Morland

      “Hey are these birth control pills, anything you want to tell me” is blundering around and reading the room like a moron.

    3. thejeff

      Joyce has more experience with her dad than we do. Admittedly that makes it harder for her to see him changing and to see him as distinct from the unit of “her parents”, but at the same time, I suspect she’s got good reason not to immediately trust him on the subject of birth control. Especially when he opens with the classic parental “Anything you want to tell me?” demand for a confession.

      1. BorkBorkBork

        He does open with that, which basically a default thing that a parent would say to their minor child when finding contraband in their room.

        Try to forget for a moment that “having birth control” is contraband. I think evidence shows that Hank didn’t set the home rules, Carol set them and expected them to be followed “as a team”.

        He doesn’t get accusatory. Isn’t visibly upset. He’s got a raised eyebrow, like “OK, kiddo, what’re you getting into now?” If my parents were Hank and Carol, Hank is the parent I would want to talk to if I screwed up.

        Hank was the one who accepted Joyce’s defense of Dorothy and got Carol to back off; Carol was the one who kept staring daggers at the Keeners.

        The fact that, when he realizes that Dorothy is absolutely lying to him, he just accepts that it’s none of his business, is acknowledging that he was overstepping bounds to begin with.

        Even if he didn’t open by acting like a parent, I’m 100% positive that Joyce wouldn’t find it just super easy to be like, “Oh yeah, dad, I had incredibly heavy and painful periods that would put me out for days, and this is giving me my life back, and don’t worry I haven’t had sex unless you consider with Dorothy in the laundry room that one time.”

        1. thejeff

          But that’s the point. You can’t forget that “having birth control” is contraband, because he’s treating it like contraband.

          Sure, he’s absolutely better than Carol now, but he was also the one who talked about Hitler being maybe partly Jewish. I’d rather talk to him than Carol, but I still wouldn’t trust

  70. Zamperla

    Against all the odds, Hank remains a Pretty Good Adult. Taking the lie is a graceful way out of this in several directions.

  71. Cmd1095

    Man never thought we’d see the day when Joyce is the one better at lying than someone. But hey, here we are. Dorothy really giving Joyce all her firsts huh?

  72. Synnerman

    Okay, now Dorothy and Joyce are just being weird.

  73. Jdorr

    Dorothy I feel like it would be alot less akward and uncomfortable for you to tell the truth in this instance.

    “Yeah Joyce had concerningly bad period cramps so a doctor prescribed this birth control because as a side effect it helps with the cramps”

    That seems way less uncomfortable than “I have all the sex and left my birth control in your daughter’s room”

    1. James

      Volunteering the private medical information of another person in a situation where they’re clearly uncomfortable talking about it at ALL might technically be less weird but way more of a dick move than trying to shift the focus and blame to yourself.

      1. Jdorr

        That is a very fair point I somehow overlooked. Thank you for pointing it out

  74. John Campbell

    Really, Dorothy, if you want a credible lie, try, “Why would Joyce need birth control? She only has sex with me.”

    Hank: “Well, sometimes they’re prescribed for painful or irregular periods.”

    1. anon

      IDK if her pains were that bad before she went to college but i’d assume her mom/family told her to suck it up or maybe even given her a tylenol, tho even if they weren’t ‘hussy pills’ she did mention her brothers ‘having to hold her down’ so idk what other medication she had (we know she was allowed vaccinations tho idk how limited their medical presccriptions would’ve been)

  75. Yumi

    A friend of mine used to receive birth control through a religion-affiliated hospital near her because she didn’t have health insurance and this was the cheapest way to get it. The reason she took birth control was so because it helped something with her legs, so they didn’t suddenly cause issues for her when she was driving or something. One the hospital was able to start denying birth control coverage without risk to their funding, they did so immediately.

    Birth control can help with many medical issues, and Hank is in the medical field, but he still could disapprove– or previously disapproved, if he’s changing there– of their use altogether.

    1. anon

      I don’t know how much dentists are told about birth control

      I wasn’t asked if i’m on medication but usually before an appointment even if it’s just a cleaning versus cavity removal, the asian dentist i go to takes our weight and blood pressure

  76. Time Sage

    The honest answer (Joyce’s doctor prescribed it to deal with crippling monthly pain) was a valid awnser. Someone pull these two out of the hole they’re digging.

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