197

Insecurities
Posted on April 19, 2018 by David M Willis

197 thoughts on “Insecurities”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    with friends like these, who needs saboteurs?

    1. Ana Chronistic

      When’s the defenestration phase?

      1. Solenoid

        If the characters all take a semester abroad in Prague, you’ll have it then.

      2. Koms

        Deportation more like it

      3. Chris Phoenix

        Does self-defenstration count? Cause we already had that with Sal in the first week.

      4. Amazi-Stool

        Also Joyce’s mittens where defenestrated by Ruth!

  2. AnvilPro

    Faz is so sneaky. I bet you didn’t even know he was here until I pointed it out.

    1. Phil

      …and now he’s loose and alone in forest quad. Hell is coming.

      1. Doctor_Who

        We’ve seen how impressionable and naive the residents of the quad can be. They crave a leader to rally behind, and Billie has shown weakness.

        The era of King Faz is nigh.

        1. Pablo360

          As you can see by this ancient mesopotamian chart, Faz is the true Second Eaton, destined ruler of Forest Quad.

        2. Tacos

          First Faz needs to assert his superiority by killing a lion.

    2. Pablo360

      I’ve been keeping an eye on him this entire time, since the law of conservation of detail means he must have a narrative purpose for being in Forest Quad.

      1. Reltzik

        It’s a comedy. “Made people laugh” is a narrative purpose.

        1. Pablo360

          He hasn’t done anything in Forest Quad yet though, and he’s still there. I wouldn’t let my guard down just yet.

      2. Amazi-Stool

        Hm, “law of conservation of detail”?

        Isn’t the more appropriate term “Chekhov’s farce”?

        1. Pablo360

          Maybe? Definitely a related concept. I don’t know, I wrote out that comment at almost 1:30 in the morning.

  3. Barduwulf

    To be fair, the door eject phase is a fun phase.

    1. Jimi

      It’s one of my favorite Calvin & Hobbes punchlines

      1. Averien

        Almost all Calvin & Hobbes punchlines are my favorite Calvin & Hobbes punchlines.

      2. SMZ

        I was thinking Fresh Prince.

  4. King Daniel

    Panel 5, Joyce contracts fazface.

    1. Needfuldoer

      It’s contagious, everyone left in charge of Faz so far is infected. Joyce is just more susceptible than the others due to her preexisting triangle smile condition.

    2. Kazumi

      It was only a matter of time, she’s had fazmouth forever.

    3. Plasma Mongoose

      (￣▽￣)ノ

      That sounds jolly serious.

      1. Needfuldoer

        Oh good god it’s spreading through the comments! We have to contain this outbreak before it’s too late!

  5. Van Jealous

    I guess they’re keeping Faz.

    1. C.T Phipps

      I see him as the Anti-Becky. At least until he’s adopted by Jason who is the Anti-Leslie.

      1. Doctor_Who

        It never occurred to me, but that’s exactly who Jason is.

        1. C.T Phipps

          He even looks a lot like her ex-husband, Leo.

    2. ZerglingOne

      Gotta give him the chance to stand directly next to Zaph (Faz backwards) to illustrate exactly how alike they look.

      1. C.T Phipps

        I predict Faz will arrange for Zaph to be shipped to Abu Dabi and take their place.

      2. Daisy

        Holy cow I can’t believe I never realised that’s why Zaph is called that ;-;
        *burns Willis Fan Club ID Card*

    3. Marsh Maryrose

      Joyce understood her charge as keeping Faz out of Read. Nothing about keeping him out of Forest.

  6. Danni

    aka the uncle phil phase

    1. Cattleprod

      Reuse this panel for future instances of Joyce getting thrown out, even if she’s clearly wearing different clothes beforehand.

      1. Danni

        yes

      2. Kaidah

        Heck yes! That would be a great running gag.

    2. Alexx

      I was gona make an Uncle Phil joke, but I decided to see if it had already been covered. You’ve handled things well here, I’ll be on my way.

  7. shadowcell

    this only proves the greatness of faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaz

  8. Passchendaele

    yay, Joyce is flying! 😛

    1. Doctor_Who

      Joyce unlocks her secret power!

      She can fly, but only in that pose, and this music plays in the background.

      1. Pablo360

        Imagine if that was how her jetpack worked in It’s Walky!.

  9. DeepThought42

    How did this happen to Joyce first and not Faz? Oh gods Faz is still in there…

    1. C.T Phipps

      Cheerleaders are only allowed to show haughtiness and lust as emotion. Joyce broke the code.

    2. Djaevlenselv

      My headcanon is that Billie didn’t kick her out for exposing her as a complex, flawed human being, but instead because she confused her with Faz, due to the face.

    3. Reltzik

      Joyce coached Faz in the fine art of keeping his mouth shut, or at least silent.

      …. the student rapidly surpassed the master.

  10. Romanticide

    Joyce got herself kicked before Faz… this one rare event…

    1. newllend(henryvolt)

      Watch them kick him out next and they’ll do it in ” Fresh Prince of Bel-Ai”r Style: https://youtu.be/qvJeATp31dw

  11. Tacos

    So what phase follows the Ejecting Characters Through Doors phase?

    1. Amazi-Stool

      The “Ejecting through door Faz”!

  12. Marsh Maryrose

    Billie’s “Take Two” defenestrated!

  13. C.T Phipps

    I wonder if Ruth is going to come over to the dorm and find out she’s just one of Billie’s flings.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Well, Billie just flung Joyce, if she tried that on Ruth I don’t think she’d be keeping her femurs for long.

      1. C.T Phipps

        Listen, Billie only slept with Ruth on her path to the top.

        The Hall students said so!

      2. thejeff

        I don’t know, how many time did Ruth throw Billie out the door while they were still keeping up pretenses?
        But the attempt would turn both of them on so much, she’d be right back inside.

  14. Achallenger

    That body part is amazing

    1. King Daniel

      Which one?

      1. Doctor_Who

        Nash’s fist? Rose’s cute tooth-gap?

        I was gonna suggest Billie’s boobs, but from the look of it one of them rates a 9, but the other is only a 7.

      2. Marsh Maryrose

        I’m assuming Joyce’s neck, in the last panel. It’s got a horizontal displacement of like five inches.

  15. Roger Sterling

    Somebody come up with a suitably funny reference to Jazzy Jeff’s running joke from Fresh Prince, because I lack motivation.

    1. Schpoonman

      DailyBrad killed it.

  16. ValdVin

    (And oh gosh does she fail.) is a bonus punchline.

  17. DailyBrad

    DJ Jazzy Joyce

    1. Roger Sterling

      Much obliged.

  18. C.T Phipps

    Billie made the right choice. Fawning sycopants over her only friend in college.

    1. Nono

      Walky exists, you know.

      1. C.T Phipps

        I think of him as Billie’s brother emotionally.

      2. Tacos

        Does he? Does he really? Or is he merely an illusion caused by excessive amounts of McNuggets and nachitos?

  19. DarkoNeko

    YA RUININ MY STREET CRED JOYCE

  20. NF

    The Deostiumtion of Joyce.

    1. Roger Sterling

      Prelude to The Thirty Book War between Read and Forest over Billie’s right to be an utter shit heel.

  21. adjudicus

    Not toe be blunt, but Joyce seems to get a kick out of introducing her friends to new people

    1. King Daniel

      She should’ve gotten a foot in the door first.

      1. Nono

        She’s just trying to get a leg up on the rest of her peers.

        1. cbwroses

          If she can make friends in both dorms, then the thighs the limit.

        2. Kazumi

          Butt at what cost?

        3. Chronos

          Whatever she can stomach, I guess…

        4. Chronos

          Does she have the heart to keep going?

        5. ninja_jesus

          The way she’s heading, I’m pretty sure so.

        6. joe archer

          Remember that she is still toeing a fine line.

        7. King Daniel

          I’m not sure about this, but I can’t put a finger on why…

        8. Chronos

          Well, Joyce isn’t the type to knuckle under…

        9. King Daniel

          She just thought Billie knee-ded a friend.

        10. adjudicus

          She underestimated how much it r-ankle-d with Billie.

        11. PB

          She’s rearing to go!

      2. jeffepp

        Uggs.

  22. Kernanator

    This event spanned what would eventually be known as the Joycian Heresy.

    1. Roger Sterling

      The cheerleader protects

  23. Puckish Rogue

    Ok these kids really need to…I don’t know, get laid…go outside…understand they’re not in high school…lower whatever dosage they’re on…

    Maybe they’re all home schooled…

    Also Billie looks a lot better without those granny glasses she had

    1. Inahc

      eh, I like how she looks with glasses.

      1. Puckish Rogue

        Sure, each to their own

        1. Marsh Maryrose

          Are you just baiting Willis?

        2. Roborat

          Well, they are a master at it.

      2. Emily

        Everyone looks better with glasses that trope where someone takes off their glasses and is suddenly hot is a dirty lie.

        1. Deanatay

          It’s an ’80s meme. It was a different time.

        2. thejeff

          Goes back well before the 80s.

        3. Puckish Rogue

          Some do sure but to me if someone is physically attractive then wearing glasses can partially hide or change some of their features but hey it’d be a boring world if we all found the same things attractive

    2. Keulen

      I disagree, I think she looks better with her glasses.

      1. chris73

        The glasses looked like the type of glasses older women wear and Billie certainly isn’t an older women so yeah she looks better without them

        1. joe archer

          Those glasses, some wrinkles and her fake ID get her booze.

    3. BBCC

      Going off yesterday, I’d say they’re projecting their ideas of a cool person on the RA-screwing cheerleader badass. Cheerleaders were probably the cool kids in high school and so now that Billie’s there, they’re projecting their ideas of what that means.

      1. thejeff

        Yeah, Joyce is being a bit of jerk here, but this was necessary. This false image Billie was building up is really not good for her and needed to be punctured. Probably better this way than when Ruth comes over for a visit.

        The alternative would be cutting ties to everyone in Reed, including Ruth, ditching any growth she’s made since coming here and just reveling in her past glories.

    4. Kazumi

      Fun fact, people learn things through experience and teaching, which means stuff has to happen for them to actually gain that knowledge, it doesn’t just pop in their heads cause they’re suddenly in college. This is one of those experiences.

  24. newllend(henryvolt)

    Journalist are alooking badass, Lois Lane was able to hold her own on Planet Apocalypse.

  25. Reltzik

    …. is me being disappointed in Billie precluded by my not having expected better of her?

    1. Marsh Maryrose

      On Move-In Day, Billie told like-a-sibling Walky to get lost because he wasn’t cool enough for her. What were you expecting from her?

      Cue The Doubleclicks’ “Bad Memories”:

      So my friends would be my friends
      As long as we were not at school
      Where they’d treat me like garbage
      Just to make them seem cool

      1. Reltzik

        Oh, this is entirely in keeping with expectations. Which is why I’m pretty sure I can’t say I’m disappointed.

  26. Bagge

    Don’t be a gossip, Joyce.

    1. Reltzik

      Or at least be better at it, Joyce. Gossip happens BEHIND SOMEONE’S BACK, not right in front of them.

  27. Derek

    I thought Joyce had more social perception than this, isn’t this incredibly rude?

    1. Inahc

      I’m not sure where you got that impression. Joyce was homeschooled and verrryyyy naive.

      1. Derek

        homeschooled is not equal to socially isolated, she didn’t grow up in a secluded cabin in the mountain. She had a community where she was very active and social.

        1. Eldritch Gentleman

          A fundie community, very different rules apply. Not to mention that her parents changed their fundie communities quite a few times as she was growing up.

        2. timemonkey

          Her best friend is Becky. remember how Becky acts?

        3. Eldritch Gentleman

          “Hey, guess what! I’m a Lesbian! And this is my hot dino girlfriend whose top of the head I want to smooch repeatedly and passionately!”

        4. thejeff

          Pastor said out of her whole home school group, she was best socialized.
          Which is a little terrifying.

          She’s very extroverted and very social, but she’s socialized for a specific subculture and now she’s out in the big world.

      2. Reaver

        I was Homeschooled, it’s not an excuse.

    2. Coma

      Maybe? I mean, she has similarities to a doting mother in this strip, who is e.g. telling stories of her teenage kid as they were smaller to their friends and the kid thinks it’s embarrassing and then gets angry at the mom.

      But in this case it’s about two friends, and Joyce is just telling them things she really likes about Billie, because she thinks they perceived her wrong. So it may be a tad rude to Billie, but mostly so because she talks about her as if she isn’t standing right next to her, not because of what she says…
      I mean, she isn’t talking anything of her personality down, and she’s just slow in getting the atmosphere – and from her perspective there’s nothing wrong with what she says. (And honestly, it basically isn’t. Billie could have avoided this by talking to her old dorm-mates).
      Well, at least that’s my take on it 🙂

      1. Derek

        who in heck says “she has insecurities and failures” when talking about someone? especially in front of that person??

        1. Falcon

          That is a misquote. The actual quote is “she has the same troubles and insecurities as anyone else” which is meant to humanize Billie.

        2. Derek

          trying to humanize someone (IN FRONT OF THEM) is such a bizarre thing to do, even if the people around her seem to be putting her on a pedestal for no reason. Joyce doesn’t even seem to think they’re giving her undue praise, she’s just smiling as she says “oh she’s FALLIBLE” as if that’s a normal thing to say to describe someone

        3. timemonkey

          Someone who thinks idolisation is a sin?

        4. Derek

          this explanation I can believe

    3. Sam

      Joyce has never had the best social perception, especially when it comes to Billie. She has no understanding of arbitrary cheerleader nonsense so she is just being honest as usual and even if she did, being honest isn’t rude just because someone would prefer you lie and pretend they are perfect, flawless and influential.

  28. bryy

    Wow, Forest Hall is the absolute worst. Turns out they are not just passive enables, but totally shitty people that view sex as a weapon as a good thing.

    1. Kazumi

      Make Love Not War

    2. C.T Phipps

      They know that Billie would be week for having relationships versus just picking up the R.A. for funsies.

    3. Zee

      Could you… maybe chill? They’re naive 17-19 year olds, probably grew up in a culture where the black widow stereotype was portrayed as “Empowerment!”
      They’re 2 months into college at the most, and unlike the kids at Reed it doesn’t sound like they’ve had shitstorm after shitstorm to whip them into shape
      Yeah they’re shitty views but you just gotta let them learn. Being ignorant =/= being a bad person

      1. thejeff

        There’s definitely something weird and creepy about this crowd. It’s like some kind of twisted wish-fulfillment fantasy for Billie.

    4. Fart Captor

      This is certainly showing some unhealthy attitudes and it’s a bit weird, but I’d hardly say they’re the WORST

      We’ve seen much, much worse behavior from other characters, even adults who should know better.

      1. Inahc

        I’m starting to think “the worst” is headed for the same fate as “literally”… >.<

        …and I just remembered it might be Rarity's fault. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbXh7ZipUuQ 🙂

  29. Keulen

    Joyce is right, Billie’s grin when she’s around Ruth is adorable.

    1. ValdVin

      And Billie can do the adorbs when she’s only thinking of Ruth, too.

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-5/01-when-somebody-loved-me/better-3/

    2. DailyBrad

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/03-the-butterflies-fly-away/sure/
      I think I may have ultimate Billie cuteness around Ruth.

      1. ValdVin

        Go Leafs.

  30. BBCC

    I don’t know why I expected anything else.

    And yeah, no, Joyce, trying to pop the bubble of them projecting all their ideas of a cool person on Billie was never gonna get a good reaction from her.

  31. caesaria82

    Joyce Brown, number one Ruth/Billie shipper, captain of the USS Rillie 😀

    (Rullie? Buth? … I mean… the ship name is not WorthLess… is it? Or IS IT? Is that accidentally genius and I’m just late to realize? xD)

    1. Lingo

      Gotta admit, that IS pretty genius.

      1. PB

        This is sad and hilarious and I approve.

    2. Fire_daws

      Since Ruth’s Canadian it should be HMCS Rillie :p

    3. Amazi-Stool

      Who am I to deny that BillingsWorthLess?

  32. brasca1

    Joyce sure got the Jazz ejection.

    1. JetstreamGW

      Pff, hardly. She wasn’t thrown face first and there’s no screaming.

      Angle’s all wrong too.

      This is only 0.5 DJ Jazzy Jeffs, tops.

  33. Well_Played

    This kind of reminds me of Calvin when he gets thrown out of the house.

    1. GoblinScribe

      Thank you! I was thinking the same thing.
      ON TOP OF SPAGHETTI
      AND COVERED WITH CHEESE

  34. StClair

    Joyce is forcibly removed from the premises.

    1. Arianod

      Best comment.

      1. StClair

        eyes: blue
        grin: triangle
        Billie: outed

  35. C.T Phipps

    Banging your way to the top is a good thing now!

  36. SailorCakes

    Joyce ruining peoples reps in 5.3 seconds xD

  37. lilyliv

    All right, but when do we move on to the “punching evil dads through doors (or 12th story windows)” phase? Because I would be so incredibly down for that.

  38. Joe Moose

    Good grief, no one paid Joyce to shut up? Come on, people!

    1. JessWitt

      Billie didn’t have her wallet on her. She had to improvise.

  39. Rabid Rabbit

    Well, assuming that is indeed Billie’s foot in the last panel, she is indeed demonstrating what her major’s in.

  40. Kamino Neko

    Who is giving Joyce the Bum’s Rush? Billie, trying to protect her reputation? Nash, driving out the lying blasphemer? Faz, ditching his escort?

  41. cbwroses

    People are excited about Joyce being tossed out the door Uncle Phil style, as am I, but I’m also wondering if Billie grabbed her and ran her down the stairs with Joyce’s feet not even touching the floor before ejecting her?
    Or
    Did Billie calmly walk her to the elevator, ride down with her like a civilized person, and then give her the boot?

    1. Chronos

      I like to imagine a sort of Gilligan Cut:

      “No way Billie would throw me out her dorm. We’re good frien…”

      *BOOT*

    2. joe archer

      That’s Amazigirl’s trademark, performed on Billie.

  42. Pablo360

    The emperor has no glasses.

  43. Kensou

    SHE HAS TO GO.

  44. DailyBrad

    I think Billie would have been less embarrassed if Joyce pantsed her, that’s how awkward Joyce made things for her with the oversharing. I think that’s why I am not judging Billie too much for getting Joyce to scram, it’s not her business to share.

    1. Sam

      …This was not oversharing though. This was regular sharing and it just so happened Billie wanted to pretend to be a flawless Goddess rather than a person. How exactly was Joyce, who values honesty and humanity, supposed to know that? It isn’t her job to maintain the false image Billie enjoys having especially when it involves hiding even minute details like that she… GASP, DOESN’T HAVE PERFECT SIGHT.

  45. BenRG

    Someone outlived her welcome, methinks! The lesson, Joyce? People prefer to live with their comforting lies; the truth hurts them.

  46. BenRG

    Oh, and I’ve suddenly realised that they left Faz in there. Nothing good will come of that.

  47. Aprion

    About damn time someone did this.

  48. John

    Billie just needs to explain what she means when she says “journalism“.

    1. C.T Phipps

      I think Billie would actually be a great journalist if she doesn’t try to do “serious” journalism but instead gets a job on E! or something.

  49. JessWitt

    So much for Joyce meeting Lucy.

  50. PB

    Dangit, Billie.

  51. C.T Phipps

    Joyce: BUT WE’RE FRIENDS, BILLIE!

    Billie: I don’t know you.

    Joyce: We’re besties!

    Billie: Never met you!

    Joyce: Come on!

    Billie: Away, stranger!

    *the rooster crows*

    1. C.T Phipps

      And that is how the Book of Joyce will speak of Billie’s betrayal.

      1. PB

        … You, my friend … just won yourself an Internet.

  52. CJ

    I begin to dislike these people.

  53. Eldritch Gentleman

    And so by the hand of God of Love the Tower of Billiylon collapses.

  54. FacelessDeviant

    Dynamic exit!

  55. Emily

    I love you Joyce, and Billie you’re an idiot. Grow the fuck up before Ruth learns you’ve been portraying her as a conquest and is destroyed emotionally.

    1. Sunny

      As I recall, Billie just went along with their assumptions and didn’t actively claim anything. I don’t think she’s had to do that since either. They’ve just been assuming she’s cool and awesome and she’s had enough sense to keep her mouth shut. Rose said Billie’s “kind of closed-off” a few strips ago.

      Seriously, she was able to give sage advice without saying anything while brushing her teeth.
      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-8/02-this-is-the-way-that-we-love/zaph/

      1. thejeff

        There was the switch from “I don’t know if seduce is the right word–” to Oh yeah, I came down on her hot and heavy, when she realized they were impressed.

  56. steelbright

    OMG. joyce made faz-face.

  57. AGV

    Joyce has become your stereotypical embarrasing mum

  58. Josh Spicer

    But…why Billie?

  59. ObiKemnebi

    Dang it, I was hoping the last strip was them all being overly sarcastic like, well, duh, of course cheerleaders are real people too! Cool things don’t negate humanhood! We didn’t know what your specifics are yet, but we like you anyway!

    Now I’m just facepalming and generally annoyed at all of them.

  60. Drew

    Shouldn’t Faz have his hand on the readhead’s butt or something?

  61. CianM1301

    *Insert Fresh Prince sound effect of Jazz being thrown out*

  62. abysswatcher1993

    I wasn’t expecting this, but it’s in character with Billie.

  63. Disastroid

    How soon until Joyce pulls the “Thanks, I’ll show myself out” gag from Jazz in Fresh Prince of Bel Air?

  64. Daibhid C

    If Faz was standing closer to Zaph it’d look like Zaph had two heads. I don’t know why I thought that would be particularly appropriate, because Zaph’s just zis guy, you know?

    1. Liquid Len

      So Zaph will grow up to be president, not Dotty! 🙂

  65. Bluesnake462

    Little do they know that being a cheerleader means literally nothing in how popular you are in real life. No one gave two shits about the cheerleaders at my high school.

    1. BBCC

      Depends where you are, I think. I’m told in some smaller towns in America things like football and cheerleading can be near cult like.

      1. stoodmuffin

        I think it can even vary from school to school?

  66. stoodmuffin

    Joyce, you’re right.

    Buuuuuuut I think that ain’t your place.

    And obviously Billie is still struggling with this. Poor sweet heart.

  67. Pablo360

    Great news, guys. Based on the archive dropdown, once we finish up this storyline about Faz, we’ll start a storyline about Mike, everyone’s favorite character.

  68. smarties

    I think my favorite part of this is Joyce probably thinks she’s helping Billie and her reputation by telling people how she really is. She doesn’t want them to think her friend is cold or anything because she knows how nice Billie can really be and everyone should see that side of her friend~

    And instead she just ruined everything that appealing to Billie about the move.

    1. thejeff

      And yet she is helping Billie. Because this reputation was based on a fraud and wasn’t going to be good for Billie in the long run. Or the short for that matter.

      1. Josh Spicer

        Oh good somebody who also sees it.

        1. Cmd1095

          I said it from the start where they started worshiping her that this was going to be a bad influence on Billie, causing her to relapse into her old ways a bit.

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