296

Arf
Posted on April 16, 2016 by David M Willis

296 thoughts on “Arf”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    “Sit! Stay! Speak! Ignore my metric assload of skeletons in my closet! YEAH, WHO’S A GOOD GIRL”

    1. Ana Chronistic

      Can I vote for ME in the Patreon bonus strips???

      (…well YEAH, but not like I’m gonna WIN pretty much EVAR…)

      1. SmilingNid

        But you have the best advertising of all of us.

        1. Cholma

          I’d be torn between voting for Ana or voting for Jen. It’s just not fair.

        2. Tacos

          Don’t forget Sue ~_~

        3. Clif

          Anna, Jen, Sue, and Mike. That would work.

      2. Some1

        Can I vote for myself in a slipshine?

        I vote me X Joyce, Sal, Becky, Dorothy, Bille, Ruth and Sal (at the same time)

        1. Max

          Would you be Galasso?Because that’d be one hilarious comic.

        2. Bagge

          *Door kicked open*: WHO HAS DARED TO SUMMON THE MIGHTY GALASSO, AND ALSO A PIZZA WITH EXTRA SAUSAGE?
          “Ooooh, we seem to be all out of tip. Maybe we can do SOMETHING ELSE for you?”
          “THE MIGHTY GALASSO WOULD ALSO ACCEPT THE HEADS OF YOUR ENEMIES AS PAYMENT”
          “Sure, come with me and Billie, we will find Mary for you”
          …
          “Anyone else up for a hot, lesbian orgy?”
          “Eat your pizza, Becky.”

        3. Screwball

          *Meanwhile, Joyce has re-entered Blue Screen Of Death mode at the sugestion…* XD

        4. Deanatay

          I think you mean D8

        5. weirderthanweird

          You said Sal twice but I’m not sure that’s a mistake

      3. Bagge

        Dunno, you’d have a good chance to come first!

    2. Nezumi

      Well, in this universe, it’s significantly less likely that any of them are literal skeletons, at least.

      1. Bagge

        Except for Dina, and that doesn’t count because it’s fossilized.
        And Ruth, but that’s not an entire skeleton, only a selection of femurs.

    3. KingMonster

      Why do people keep measuring their assload of problems in METRIC?!? America does have it’s own system, peeps!

      1. Dott

        Well, there is a reason. A tonne, ‘metric ton’, is larger than an American ton.
        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ton
        1000 kg = 2,204.6 lbs > 2,000 pounds = 907 kg.
        So a metric ton of stuff is more than a regular ton. It’s hyperbolic in a way. The usage of ‘metric [other things]’ just comes naturally from that.

      2. Ana Chronistic

        b/c America is STUPID–even the peeps who INVENTED the Imperial system have mostly stopped using it

        like, what is the reasoning for MM/DD/YYYY format, it’s terrible

        1. Ana Chronistic

          /lives in Delmarva

        2. John

          YYYY-MM-DD only way to go. It sorts correctly in a directory listing.

      3. legobil

        The correct question would be: Why do americans keep clinging to that useless imperial system? http://www.zmescience.com/other/map-of-countries-officially-not-using-the-metric-system/

  2. Falcon

    Dorothy: I helped!

    1. Bagge

      I is contributing!!!!

  3. DarkoNeko

    …too smart for your own good.

  4. butts

    oh my god puppy!dotty is SO ADORABLE

    1. SmilingNid

      I don’t know something about is just off.

      1. Inkblot

        It’s blatantly obvious Willis is pandering to the furries

        1. Inkblot

          Sarcasm, in case nobody got that (Poe’s law and all)

        2. Some1

          Slipshineeeeeee…..feel free to puke in your mouth a little now.

          Wow, this actually might be going too far.

        3. Inkblot

          I ‘unno about that, man. I’ve worked on a lot of hentai– very little of anything makes me uncomfortable anymore when it comes to mashing jibbly bits together.

        4. Some1

          its a guy fucking a dog…with his girlfriends face on it!
          what have you seen!?

        5. SmilingNid

          The internet.

        6. Lordess of madness

          Unfortunately in some cases

        7. Opus the Poet

          Would you believe the same thing except a pig?

        8. Inkblot

          Victim Girls 4.

          It’s so nasty that the site it’s on flags it as “Offensive for Everybody”, and when a hentai site is putting a content warning on something, you’d best believe it’s some nasty stuff.

          It’s a girl… getting fucked by a creature of unknown species… that has her boyfriend’s head sewn into the creature’s head in such a way that the face is visible when the creature’s mouth is opened.

          I’ve seen some shit.

        9. Disloyal Subject

          Oh, is that all? The way you were building it up I was a little apprehensive.

        10. Clif

          Yeah, really. You had us going there for a minute.

        11. Dott

          Not even the worst from the author, really. But then again he does some silly stuff.

        12. Inkblot

          Yeah, you have a good point. Mentioning the toddlercon guro might have been in poor taste.

        13. Mr. Bulbmin

          Put bluntly, the stuff of nightmares.

        14. Ana Chronistic

          vagina dentata comes to mind

          and human centipede (which was only cute when I thought it was some kind of Cirque du Soleil-esque act)

        15. Needfuldoer

          There’s probably an entire subculture for that sort of thing on DeviantArt, buried somewhere under all the ponies and inflated Sonic the Hedgehog original characters.

        16. SmilingNid

          And all of the unnecessary details above are why I just said the internet. Because then you get to fill in what ever has horrified you the most.

    2. Roborat

      I am sorry, but that visual reminded me of a VERY disturbing Japanese vore website I had the misfortune to stumble across a while ago.

  5. Mr. Mendo

    This is gonna blow up in Walky’s face. I’ll get the popcorn…

    1. Screwball

      Sits down with own popcorn & folding chair, ready for the show…

      1. Inkblot

        I’ve got some chips if you wanna share.

    2. Willoughby Chase

      I’ve been trying to work out how the title “when god closes a door” relates to W&D. I can’t think of any good scenarios.

      1. cesium133

        Clearly, Walky is closing the door so that Dorothy can’t see his problems. After all, Walky is a living god: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/02-i-was-a-teenage-churchmouse/missed-2/

        1. Willoughby Chase

          That’s not going to end well, though.

    3. Jhon

      Walky, stop being such a banjo.

  6. Schpoonman

    Walky, you asshole.

    1. Disloyal Subject

      Yes, he’s an asshole because he wants Dorothy to get off his case and let him (fail/neglect to) deal with his own problems. Not like he’s just insecure about having problems in the first place or about relying on the girlfriend he knows is eventually going to leave him for Yale.

  7. Ross

    That is a… really weird way to visualize the situation.

    1. JessWitt

      Weird yet faintly original.

      1. Inkblot

        Someone’s gonna take offense to portraying a female character as a dog, and I await with bated breath and popcorn at the ready

        1. Durandal_1707

          And percussion instruments!

        2. caesaria82

          Hi. I mean, ‘offfense’ is maybe not the word. But it bugs me. It rubs me the wrong way. It’s dehumanizing. Idk. I don’t like it.

        3. Idontcarenomore

          I agree.

        4. StClair

          Same.

        5. Twitcher

          We, the audience, need to see that Walky is being dismissive of Dorothy, (and yesterday, that Dorothy was being domineering over Walky) to know that the way they treat each other is not good; that their relationship is strained.

    2. Haven

      I can relate to “giant-ass slab of problems” for sure, though

    3. Wheelpath

      It also isn’t a way I’d ever like to imagine someone I’ve had PMHP with

    4. caesaria82

      ‘weird’ is a nice way of putting it. It’s pretty belittling and demeaning, in my opinion.

      1. Arian

        Would it be just as belittling and demeaning if it were a man? Because it’s a person being portrayed as an animal? Or is it the association with the word for a female dog that concerns you?

        1. caesaria82

          Yeah, it definitely has to do with the word. But also with the persisting stereotype of the ‘nagging’ wife/girlfriend or just in general prescribing animal characterists to women. And not strong, fierce animals, but small, yappy animals. The, y’know, percussion instrument word is just the extreme of it, where literally a word for a female dog is being used to negatively describe women, often to silence them or their opinions.

          It just bothers me in context. And I also kind of think it’s supposed to bother us? This is definitely not being done to show Walky in a sympathetic light, that’s for sure.

        2. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          Also the use of “dog” as a term for an ugly woman.

        3. merbrat

          Jeeze! It is more like he is “throwing her a bone” (Sal) to distract her from the bigger problems. Comparison can be used for anyone, not just a woman!
          That term is used in any situation (ie: give the insistent press(media) a little info, so they don’t get the real story, etc) “Throw ’em a bone so they don’t ask too many questions” Misdirection!

        4. merbrat

          (that reply was for everyone balking{barking?} at the puppy thing, not one person)

        5. caesaria82

          It can have more than one meaning. It can evoke something in me because I’m a woman who’s been called the percussion instrument word by men before and because many women have and continue to be called that – and it can also still mean what you said. The two are not mutually exclusive.

        6. trlkly

          True, but I do think there is a better argument for the “throwing her a bone” argument based on what we’ve seen so far in the comic. I don’t really think he thinks of her as a female dog.

          He just resents the controlling way she’s trying to get him to talk about his feelings.

        7. caesaria82

          @trlkly

          I don’t really think he thinks of her as a female dog.

          Only that is literally what he is doing in this very strip.

        8. Clif

          Yep.

        9. thejeff

          Well arguably he’s thinking of her as a dog because he’s thinking of the “tossing her a bone” metaphor and female because she is female rather than thinking of her as a female dog because he’s thinking “bongo”.

          I certainly don’t think it’s intended to show Walky in a sympathetic light, but I also don’t think it’s intended to show him thinking of her as a bongo.

        10. trlkly

          No, it’s not. He’s thinking of her as a yapping dog who he has to throw a bone. It’s a way to show a common metaphor, not a way to say she’s a witch with a B.

        11. Needfuldoer

          … And you will never hear “Who Let the Dogs Out” in an innocent light again.

          (Seriously why did they push that one hit wonder to kids?)

        12. wellactually

          In “Who Let the Dogs Out” the dogs represent men, like, men are dogs, and they’re hounding the ladies.

        13. Foxhack

          … Ooooooooooooooooooooooooh.

        14. Proto Persona

          The female dog word I know, I have no clue what percussion instrument is supposed to mean.

        15. John

          That is some kinda euphemism treadmill there.

        16. caesaria82

          The female dog word activates a filter when you use it in these comments that turns it into the word ‘bongo’ 😉

        17. Clif

          Oh. Okay. I thought there was some kind of hole in my education.

        18. Kepod

          The female dog word is automatically replaced with a different, percussion-related word on this site. It starts with the same letter.

        19. Dean

          Psst, you guys, we actually can use the word ‘bongo’ in the comments.

        20. Clif

          Gasp!

        21. das-g

          Now, did you actually write ‘bongo’, thus proving your point, or the other word, thus disproving it?

        22. Badgermole

          All of this. She’s showing concern, and he sees it as yapping that he has to somehow deflect. It’s uncomfortable because I Know Walky doesn’t actually disrespect or demean Dorothy, and yet the comic male protagonist avoiding the oblivious/nosy female partner is such a common trope.

        23. trlkly

          But it’s not the guy who is 100% the bad guy in this, either.

          He can’t tell her, because he is not willing to do what she would make him do. He can’t trust her to just commiserate rather than try to fix the problem.

          It’s the same reason a lot of women I know say they don’t tell their husband’s their problems. They aren’t looking for a fix.

          And, while Walky needs to fix this problem, that’s not what he’s looking for.

          I actually wouldn’t be surprised if this were to break them up.

        24. Rutee

          Her place here isn’t just to commiserate. Walky needs, for his own damn sake, to learn this shit to continue with the basic arc he has planned for his life. He can’t avoid learning how to study and graduate college. And he plans to graduate college. She probably can’t teach him how – I miiight be getting my wires crossed with another thing, but I seem to recall she’s rubbish at teaching people. But until Walky expresses that he no longer cares about college, which has not been a thing he’s said or felt or thought that we know? She should try to help him. Not at any given moment, and not necessarily by doing the teaching. But convincing him to talk to Jason, Danny, or similar is an important thing she can do.

          Keep in mind, what I’m saying *is based on Walky’s basic plans for himself*. It’s not taht he’s failing to live up to her expectations on how life should be lived. It’s that his stated goals haven’t been contradicted, he just has problems making them happen. And helping him solve those problems is a legitimate valid thing to be doing, especially because it’s clearly been bothering him a lot. About the only person he talks with regularly who hasn’t commented is Sal, and Sal’s had bigger shit to deal with in the context of her family (And doesn’t really know her brother all that well, and is aware of it).

        25. Idontcarenomore

          I wouldn’t like it with either gender. It is demeaning to portray any human relationship on this basis. Imo.

        26. StClair

          yes, it would.
          imagining one’s significant other as a yappy pest, at best a pet rather than an equal?
          that’s crappy no matter who’s involved.

    5. Deanatay

      I… think it’s meant to be a little insulting? I mean, it’s his internal thought. We all think things that other people would find disgusting or insulting. The measure of a decent person is whether we filter those things out, or express them.

  8. inqntrol

    Walky has the weirdest imagination.

    1. Disloyal Subject

      I believe there is some competition for that dubious honour.

  9. Stephen R. Bierce

    *refuses to play “Who Let The Dogs Out?”*

    1. inqntrol

      Do it! Play the song!

      1. Vagabond J

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qkuu0Lwb5EM

        1. inqntrol

          “Video is not avaible”
          Damn it!

    2. Bicycle Bill

      Pushes Stephen aside, plays “Puppy Love”
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zI2hgm65WhE

      1. Willoughby chase

        Folliows it with “How Much is that doggy in the window?” then The Stooges I wanna be your dog

    3. Needfuldoer

      How about an edumacational video about it?

      https://youtu.be/kQ2NpuT4Dt0

    4. Sunny

      How about “Word Up” then? The video definitely fits.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1q-k-uN73Gk

  10. JessWitt

    Watch it Walky. You’ll end up in the doghouse someday.

    1. Bagge

      Ooooooh!

    2. John

      It’s called the White House.

  11. David Herbert

    Ooh, thinking of your girlfriend as a bongo is not nice, Walky.

    1. Inkblot

      slice

      But srsly what’s wrong with Afro-Cubam drums m8

    2. Proto Persona

      Bongo? Is this a non-American cultural thing? I have never heard the word used to describe a woman. I’m not even sure how you can make a negative connotation to that.

      1. Inkblot

        There’s a word filter! 😀

      2. Just Saying

        The word for a female dog gets automatically word filtered to a percussion instrument.

        1. Deanatay

          It’s not a bug, it’s a feature! Willis added it a couple of years ago, when the word ‘*itch’ became a LITTLE bit overused in the comments section…

        2. Just Saying

          Yes I know? I was just explaining it.

  12. Just Me

    “Sal doesn’t feel appreciated”? That’s the understatement of the Entire Webcomic. Well, so much for a chance to perhaps help Sal out in some way. Just means more cookies fro Walky.

    1. Random832

      I’m guessing that that isn’t really 100% of how Walky sees it, but he isn’t willing to give Dorothy any more than that.

    2. Cholma

      Maybe she’s a beatnik and really loves the sound that bongoes make! ;p

      1. Cholma

        That was weird. Supposed to be a reply to David Herbet’s remark, where the bongo filter kicked in on his reference to a female dog.

    3. Pinja

      He know what the problem is and he’s not dismissing it or thinking it is less than what it is, he just doesn’t want to talk about it.

      1. Just Me

        Maybe he should talk about it. Dorothy is his girlfriend, he should be able to trust her enough to share this with her.

        1. thejeff

          Well, yeah he probably should. It’s a character flaw. Good characters have them.

        2. trlkly

          Maybe he should. But, right now, she’s trying to force it, which makes him resentful.

  13. Slartibeast Button, BIA

    I hope the bongo filter has a big heat sink.

  14. Chandra

    *cues dogsong.mp3*

    1. Sporky

      hOI IM DOTTIE

      1. Björn

        Thank you!!

    2. Hijean

      It doesn’t work unless you play it on the hacked Muzak.

  15. Sporky

    Every time there’s an imagination bubble in this comic, it’s gold.

  16. Kernanator

    I have never considered this visual metaphor before, and yet I identify with it immediately.

  17. UnoriginalPasta

    “Giant ass slab of problems”

    could’ve started to chisel it

    BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  18. Slartibeast Button, BIA

    Now anticipating the all-puppy spinoff of DoA.

    (Or would there be a bunch of different animal types?)

    1. Leorale

      Danny’s a dog, too! Joyce is a squirrel. http://www.itswalky.com/comic/help-me-bury-this/

      1. inqntrol

        And Joe’s a wolf and probably has a all-female pack.

    2. Tacos

      Dina’d be a dinosaur obviously. As for what species? Iunno.

      1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        Saurornithoides Mongoliensis

        1. Ana Chronistic

          Zhenyuanlong suni these days

        2. Tacos

          Well some manner of Maniraptor at least.

  19. Leorale

    Walky shows us again how to be intelligently stupid.

    1. brumagem

      And Dorothy shows us how to politely be rude.

      1. inqntrol

        We could learn something from them:do not act like them

        1. Leorale

          All of this is correct.

  20. caesaria82

    First: OMG puppy!Dorothy. I laughed out loud. Then I shook my head at Walky for how his brain works.

    Second: I’ve done this. Deflected with the ‘less severe’ (to me) problem to avoid talking about the bigger one. Walky is clearly using Sal as a shield to not have to talk to Dorothy about his worsening grades. He may not have planned to do this, but an opportunity presented itself and so he took it. I feel this. It’s not nice and/or healthy behavoir, but I recognize it in myself. Walky, you and I need to work on this!

    But seriously dude, stop thinking of your girlfriend as a dog. JEEZ.

    1. trlkly

      Thing is, I kinda wonder is she sees him kinda that way at times, too. She does seem to see him as a project–someone she can fix up. Kinda like training a dog.

      I used to think this was the healthy relationship in the comic, but I’m far from sure about that anymore.

      1. caesaria82

        Well that’s a hypothetical, because we’ve only seen Walky’s inner thoughts now and not Dorothy’s. I mean, I agree with you that she’s trying to ‘fix’ him a bit, but I feel like that happens in a lot of relationships in the beginning – you try to see how malleable your new partner is, you test out certain things to improve what you think is lacking in that person. And Walky doesn’t put up much resistance. Dorothy buys him shirts, etc. She’s testing it out and it’s working. I don’t think I’d go with the dog analogy for what she is doing.

        1. Rutee

          Also, let’s not kid ourselves, Walky’s school problems need outside intervention. That’s the whole point of his arc. This is less about Dorothy fixing him (For youkhrist’s sake, *MIKE* has offered aid) and more about Walky avoiding the simple, obvious truth. He’s going to keep denying help, even though it’s been offered so many times, by so many people. Dorothy trying to help him with something that’s eating him *IS WHAT A FRIEND SHOULD DO*. She should maybe have backed off sooner, but being proactive and trying to help people in pain is still, ultimately, something you should be doing for people you’re in a relationship with – romantic or not.

        2. trlkly

          No, it’s really not. Helping them with a problem when they tell you about it is a friendly thing to do. Asking them what’s wrong when they seem down is a friendly thing to do.

          Trying to make them talk when they’ve said no? Not friendly. Forcing them to write a thank you note, and then giving them a reprieve only if they tell you what’s wrong? Not a friendly thing to do.

          Dorothy is being controlling right now. She’s not acting like a friend or a girlfriend. At best, she’s acting like a mom.

          Or, yes, an owner telling a pet what to do.

        3. Rutee

          Oh my Lord and Taylor. Forcing them to write a thank-you note is kind of dumb, but the actual goal is to get him to fucking talk about his problems. And frankly, Walky avoiding them is seriously fucking him up. Getting him to actually face up to them, or at least trying to is not ‘controlling’ just because it’s uncomfortable. And yes, it is. It’s not easy to learn to leave your shell at all, much less in dire need which shouldn’t exist (Because your shell is awesome and should be protecting you).

        4. Rutee

          And this is part of why relationships are hard, incidentally. This is not an easy line to really walk, between where someone is clamming up about something they know they need to share and where you’re nagging. And I’m saying this as the quiet, taciturn one in my relationship. Wifey is fairly open, all told. But while she usually doesn’t press, she will ultimately figure out where she should.

          Being hard doesn’t mean Dorothy’s necessarily succeeding. But she’s not failing merely because she’s pressing him on a thing he doesn’t want to talk about, because we already know he NEEDS to talk about it. He HAS to learn how to study.

  21. Some1

    is Walky Political cartooning himself?

    1. Rutee

      I dunno, he doesn’t say DEBT, OBAMA, or similar, is it really a political cartoon.

  22. Regina Phalange

    Wait what are all these problems? Isn’t it just school, Billy, and Sal?

    1. Regina Phalange

      i mean school’s a huge problem, but it’s not a slob o’ problem*s*

      1. Some1

        The slab represents how the commenters see him. Danny’s has gotten slightly smaller.

      2. Tacos

        When you’ve spent your whole life coasting through classes, to suddenly have trouble in school can sure seem like a slab o’ problems.

        1. Dorje Sylas

          Yep. Seen (and been one of) plenty of very smart kids coast through school on pure brain power, until they can’t anymore and the lack of study skills catches up with them. Slab-o-problems is small compared to what it can be feel like. Immovable wall more like. And it just gets worse the longer one goes without hitting it. Freshman or sophomore year of college away from home is probably the worst time for it, because there is no really authority that can quickly step in and force the student to start putting in the work.

    2. caesaria82

      That isn’t enough for you? For an 18 or so year-old kid who’s not had the world’s hardest life so far and hasn’t really been used to struggling with grades or wasn’t really concerned/confronted with people with SERIOUS problems, that can be quite the culture shock. Adulting is hard!

      1. Some1

        Besides you have to remember, Walky doesn’t have huge problems, but he thinks he does, cause he’s stressed and young. He does need to talk to someone though. It’s kinda like how you think you have a lot of homework, but once you plan it out, its not so bad.

        1. caesaria82

          Yeah, that’s kind of what I mean. He’s had a comparatively (to many others in this comic) easy life so far, at least from what we’ve seen, so of course now that he runs into some problems, they start to feel like the end of the world. It’s an early adulthood rite of passage, almost^^

          I mean, ‘small’ problems, or what others perceive as small, can still be really severe in someone else’s head, if they for example struggle with mental health but to everyone on the ‘outside’ it loosk like they’re making a big deal out of nothing. But I dont think that’s what’s going on with Walky here.

    3. Pinja

      1) Poor grades

      2) Failing when his entire life he has been successful

      3) Inability to study

      4) Falling for amazing GF who plans to leave him

      5) GF asking him to talk about his feelings when he is not touchy feely

      6) Poor relationship with sister which he feels is his fault

      7) Worrying over parents being potentially racist, how this has effected him as perhaps being less deserving of what he got and knowing that your sibling and parents who you both love may have messed up relationship

      Also while he is not that close with Joyce or Becky I doubt them being assaulted and held at gun point just this week calmed his nerves any.

      1. AgentKeen

        8) Is Billie suicidal/going to drink herself to death? She’s at least once actively sought out his company despite usually acting like he’s a nuisance.

        And he eats lunch with Joyce several days out of the week, so he’s at least been in close proximity to the current not-happy-all-the-time Joyce, and it’s put everyone on edge (Billie and Walky have both voiced concern).

  23. Krail

    That sure is a depressingly accurate representation of how I often deal with people close to me asking about my problems.
    Yup…

  24. Tacos

    RE: alt-text: And why not? >:O

  25. detective boomwolf

    Sometimes the best way to lie is to sprinkle a little bit of truth in there. I don’t remember who said that, but I feel if there were ever a place where it applies it’s here.

  26. Prinnyramza

    Good thing I’m not a patron. I would’ve voted for puppy Dorothy regardless.

  27. RJ

    Hoo boy. Walky is a-cruising for a-losing-the-best-girlfriend.

    1. Saaaam

      Walky isn’t dating Becky OR Sarah.

      1. Disloyal Subject

        Somehow I don’t see him “failing upwards” to them.

  28. Screwball

    Wow, I’ve never seen so few comments on here! So this is what it looks like to open the page right after it goes up…

    1. Briny

      It’s pure interpersonal relationships. There’s no political or religious element to it, there’s nobody to ship (since they’re already in a relationship, it’d be like dipping chocolate in more chocolate), there’s nobody to metaphorically shout about (whether it’s shout outs or shout ats).

      So, no wonder it’s slow!

      1. Bicycle Bill

        “… dipping chocolate in more chocolate …”
        You say that like it’s a bad idea or sumthin’.

        1. Screwball

          *starts drooling heavily at the idea…*

      2. trlkly

        Oh, there’s plenty of bad relationship stuff to shout at, on both sides. But most people seem to be taking one side or not talking at all.

        Or being sexist, apparently, like last time. And, normally, that stuff gets deleted instead of Willis deciding to cuss them out.

    2. inqntrol

      And then more and more comments appear, multiplying like bacteria.

      1. Some1

        Considering that nature of some of the comments, thats not a bad analogy.

  29. Yotomoe

    The slab isn’t actually a giant ass pad about all the problems he has. It’s a list of all the problems he has pertaining to Giant Asses. Dottie clearly needs to gain some more ass mass. He may have come out Whiter but Walky’s still BLACK Damnit!

    1. inqntrol

      Walky should a pirate, pirates always get the booty.

  30. Lan

    I can’t help but giggle simply because this is actually how I deal with problems myself. A little bit at a time. Sure it’s slow work but it gets the job done.

  31. Bicycle Bill

    Hovertext: “no you can’t vote for puppy Dorothy in the Patreon bonus strips”
    —————————
    But can we do a write-in vote for her to be doodled in book #6?

    1. Inkblot

      I might request a drawing of it at the upcoming Topatocon, if Willis attends.

  32. Plasma Mongoose

    “A problem shared is a problem squared” is what I always say.

    1. Screwball

      Wait, doesn’t that make it bigger? Screw that… *Runs off into distance…*

      1. Cephalo the Pod

        Not if the problem is less than one.
        Or, rather, if the problem is negative, then it becomes positive.

  33. StClair

    Not cool, Walky, not cool at all.

  34. Skizz

    Ask Dorothy to form a study group with you, Walky. She will love doing that.

    1. Disloyal Subject

      That would be hellish for him. Dorothy’s a source of solace when she isn’t needling him about opening up; asking her to help him study would be signing all his free time’s death warrant.

      1. Skizz

        Are you kidding? Study groups are organised to the nth degree, you meet at certain times, study for a certain amount of time and stop at a given time. They are perfect.

        Walky just needs to say he wants to spend more time with her and he thinks they can help each other. She already thinks he is a brain.

    2. Tacos

      That’d be the logical thing to do. So OF COURSE Walky won’t do it.

      1. Skizz

        Unfortunately, that is my opinion too.

  35. BatNeko

    Walky makes great choices.

    1. Clif

      Because that’s the name of the comic.

      1. Clif

        This is the Walky Makes Great Choices comic?

  36. Jackson

    Walky, you idiot! If you feed a puppy from the table, you’re just training it to beg for more!

  37. Senior Beans

    Loving the giant ass slab o’ problems board. I can totally relate lol.

  38. Reltzik

    Honesty might be the best policy, but Walky’s too lazy and too ad-hoc to have policies.

    1. Bagge

      Policies sounds way too much like work

  39. Idontcarenomore

    I dislike this representation, and yes I’m female, but …. I wouldn’t like to see a male depicted that way either. It is a nasty way to feel about another person who is supposed to be your bf/gf.
    If Walky doesn’t want to talk about something that’s his right, so he shouldn’t be pressured. And Dorothy should respect that.
    It is too bad though, because he hasn’t a clue what to do with his feelings that he is just facing about the way his sister really has been treated like shit by the parents over the years.
    As to his grades, he should open up to Dorothy, because she can help him with that problem, if he lets her.

    1. Clif

      It’s an analogy his mind is making in passing, not the way he normally thinks of her. Yes he should open up to Dorothy but he’s not going to easily. It’s easier to be a cool untroubled-by-anything laid-back person if people think of you that way. And that’s an identity he strives for.

  40. Badgermole

    That mental image really made me wince, not a cool way to think of your girlfriend Walky.

    1. Disloyal Subject

      He’s picturing her as something endearingly adorable and well-meaning but incessantly obnoxious that keeps doing the same thing over and over again.
      Seems pretty accurate.

      1. Russ

        She’s obnoxious for wanting communication and emotional availability in their relationship?

        1. Disloyal Subject

          From his perspective? Yes. He’s already expressed that he’s uncomfortable talking about this, and she keeps bringing it up, trying to persuade or guilt him into opening up.
          There’s nothing wrong with wanting communication and emotional availability, but her methods for going about getting them are questionable. Though I don’t know that other methods would prove any more effective on Walky…

        2. Russ

          I mean, kinda? But he’s never even been straightforward about that either. He’s never made it clear that while there are problems, he doesn’t want to talk about them and he wishes she would stop pushing. He always just deflects, which isn’t the best thing to do when someone can tell you’re visibly in trouble and is concerned. Maybe her methods aren’t the best, but without knowing Walky’s problem or his thoughts on it, and how severe it may be, she doesn’t have too many options other than ignoring it, which wouldn’t be smart either.

        3. Pinja

          This is a result of him still being a kid. Give him more than twenty second to deal with this. Ain’t none of change overnight.

        4. Russ

          Any of the characters can have their mistakes explained away in that sense, doesn’t mean they’re not mistakes. Pretending like what this view of Dorothy implies isn’t wrong is silly, because the comic is entirely about characters becoming more aware of their flaws and working past them.

          So, yeah, I’m still not a fan of when Walky does stuff like this, especially since there’s a chance he’s actually older than I am, depending on when he graduated high school. Plus, the comic’s been running for 5 and a half years now, it’s time for Walky to grow as a character in the opposite direction.

        5. Hijean

          Remember it’s only been a month or so in comic time.

        6. Russ

          That’s true! But we, as readers, haven’t seen Walky change in personality in 5 years. i think that warrants a desire for change.

        7. trlkly

          Yes. in fact, she’s being worse than obnoxious. She’s being controlling. She forced him to write a thank you note. And then she’s offering him a reprieve if he tells her about his problems.

          I don’t think that thinking he needs to throw her a bone is such a horrible thing. That’s all this is. He didn’t think of her as an actual female dog. He thought of her as a yapping puppy. She’s annoying him, not bad.

          And I don’t think it’s right to judge him for a single thought, when we’ve seen he’s a pretty good dude who just has a problem saying things without thinking.

          He’s kinda like Becky in that way.

      2. Dana

        Or a bongo. 🙁

      3. figureaddict

        Hear hear

    2. Pinja

      I feel like there is a joke to be had here about Walky rubbing peanut butter on his Johnson but I’m not clever enough to make it work.

      1. de Combys

        Why.

      2. DarkVeghetta

        Remember the dancing banana singing ‘peanut butter jelly time’? Yeah, that’s really Walky’s peener. There, feeling better now? Though I don’t see how this related in the slightest to today’s comic, but penis jokes are always appropriate… right? 😛

    3. figureaddict

      Anyone who has been in a long term relationship has had ‘thoughts’ similar to this, maybe not this exactly, but something derogatory towards your other. It’s normal and healthy.

    4. DarkVeghetta

      Nope, not cool indeed. Thankfully no one will ever know. We don’t count. 😛

  41. podian

    Puppy Dorothy is the most adorable thing I’ve seen lately.

    1. Bagge

      Not QUITE as adorable as Puppy Joyce, but near enough http://sayahomu.tumblr.com/post/141942623309/quit-lookin-at-me-with-them-big-ol-eyes

      1. DarkVeghetta

        I’m sorry but I’m with podian on this one – Puppy Dorothy it is more adorable.

      2. Amazi-Stool

        OMG! OMFG!
        My diabetus screams with this Joyce.
        It’s just the sweetest of Joyce ever seen!

  42. Jacques Cornelius Parrot III

    Giant-ass-slab-o’-problems TM, coming soon to stores near you

    1. Bagge

      Still all out of solutions, though

      1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        But the help line has lovely on-hold music.

  43. Teddae

    starting to hate Walky more now and his inability to communicate with people when it comes to his giant-ass slab o’ problems

    1. Yotomoe

      You’d hate me then.

      1. Teddae

        well shit, you seem real nice i really don’t want to :<

  44. Bagge

    Puppy Dorothy is ADORABLE!!! Let’s vote for her for the next patre… *reads alt text* …oh, OK.

    But seriously, despite their problems this is a beautiful relationship moment. Dorothy pushes and pokes maybe a liiiiiitle too much, but then she apologizes and backs off. Walky keeps his shit to himself, but he throws her a scrap.

    1. DarkVeghetta

      Except the for the lies and dishonesty.

      1. Charles Phipps

        Well the problem is you don’t get unvarnished access to a person’s interior mind with a “just for fun” relationship. Dorothy is treating Walky like this is a serious relationship and that’s going to run into problems as there’s stuff he doesn’t intend or want to share.

        1. DarkVeghetta

          Very true. Though I’m thinking this is more harmful for Walky then Dorothy (precisely because it’s not her place to poke and prod too much). Keeping this to himself is eating at him and covering it up won’t help.

  45. Bagge

    “Was that really it?” I get the feeling Dorothy was worried about something specific, but I can’t figure out what that would be.

    1. de Combys

      I think that Dorothy is sensitive and feels the vibes he gives off. And now, he’s misleading her… which might in turn cause her to doubt her own perceptions.

      I really don’t think that’s beautiful. If this escalates it could lead to psychological abuse.

      1. DarkVeghetta

        … how?
        All this can lead to is regret and a tangled web of lies.

        1. Charles Phipps

          Well it won’t lead to anything because Walky and Dorothy are going to break up soon.

        2. DarkVeghetta

          I’m not so sure about that, tbh. Their relationship has evolved from when it was conceived. Not to mention there’s no real guarantee Dorothy will get a spot at whatever university she wants, or if Walky won’t join her eventually.

          More to the point, university’s still years in the future (right?) and meaningful relationships don’t have to last a lifetime to be such. There’s plenty of time left for a tangled web of lies to ruin a potentially unexpectedly fruitful relationship.

        3. thejeff

          It has changed, but it hasn’t changed at the same time. The basic deal still stands. The problem is it’s a stupid deal and that’s mostly on Dorothy. She laid down the law early on and she’s been gradually trying to make it more serious without changing the basic premise of “I’m going to another school and this is going to end.”
          Of course it’s a silly deal from the start. She’s planning on being there for the first two years anyway and the vast majority of early college relationships don’t last that long even if you’re trying. And there’s no real reason for it.
          She was obsessed over that because she wanted to make sure she didn’t end up with another Danny. She was still reacting to those relationship dynamics and how that ended. She didn’t want to make the same mistakes again, so she made different ones. Walky isn’t Danny. Their relationship will go differently.
          (this, by the way, is a mistake I’ve made, in different circumstances. It’s incredibly easy to do. Ruin one relationship trying to avoid the problems of the last.)

          And from a meta point of view, Dorothy’s never going to Yale. The strip isn’t going to last long enough. So if there’s a time limit on the relationship, it’s the length of the comic.

        4. DarkVeghetta

          Depends. Epilogues are a thing that exists for stories such as this.
          From our viewpoint it won’t matter much, but from hers it will be her life going forward. Details of such might be vague for us but likely will involve some sort of resolution on their relationship status, given how popular a couple they are.

      2. thejeff

        “Psychological abuse”? I guess. I mean, if it escalates for miles and miles.
        But that’s true of lots of non-perfect behavior.

        Dorothy’s prying and controlling could escalate to psychological abuse. Walky’s keeping all his problems to himself could do the same, as they escalate and he gets more and more remote while manipulating Dorothy into being content with the scraps he gives her.

        But both of those are so far from where either of these characters are that it doesn’t even start to make sense to worry about. It could escalate to something nasty, but there’s no reason to think it will.

    2. Norah

      I think Dorothy’s just concerned about Walky, since she cares about him. He’s been acting like something is wrong since before the package from home came, so she knows that that’s probably not all that’s bothering him right now.

      I actually think Walky has the right not to tell her right now if he doesn’t want to, though I don’t think his reasons for not wanting to tell her are good, and I don’t like the way he’s reacting, imagining her as a yappy dog. He’s being very immature.I don’t think Dorothy is being especially pushy here, just caring and wanting to help. But he has the right not to tell her everything, especially since it doesn’t directly concern her.

      But I hope he does tell her very soon, because she really does care and want to help if she can, and Dorothy is someone who could really help him learn to study. He needs to realize that real men ask for help when they need it, and Dorothy isn’t going to think any less of him for needing help and asking for it.

  46. Crumplepunch

    Well, this is unedifying.

  47. Spencer

    I’m actually kinda surprised there’s not more people reacting poorly to Walky’s thought bubble after Becky’s terrible joke.

    Like, I think Becky calling Jocelyne a Nazi was worse than what Walky is doing here, but he’s still equating his girlfriend to a yappy dog. That’s some pretty sexist shit coming from Walky right now.

    1. Russ

      It is! I guess since most people see that it’s wrong there isnt a huge discussion about it?

      1. SDGlyph

        Give it time, someone willing to argue repeatedly and at length about how Walky’s Totally In The Right Here will come along eventually.

      2. de Combys

        There isn’t? I only hang out on the bottom of the comments section, and honestly part of that is that the top comments sometimes feel a bit like mass social media… which I left for reasons. (Interesting fact : a study came out recently that publishing opinions on such media didn’t create diversity and discussion, but intsead fostered self-censorship and a tendency for everyone’s opinions to become more normative.)

        1. DarkVeghetta

          Discussion will eventually lead to some convincing others that they are in the right, which results in the entire thing becoming more normative over time. This is not a bad thing, since consensus is usually a good thing, as is self-censorship to some degree (like not calling people names in the heat of the moment… well, except in bed). Problem is when strongly/deeply-held beliefs get self-censored due to social pressures.

    2. Pinja

      Because it is a thought, not a word or action.

      Everyone here will think worse things today.

      1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        True. And an important part of begin a decent adult is knowing when to keep such things to yourself and being able to do it. And not letting it adversely effect how you treat people.

        Keeping it from telepathic authors and fans is trickier.

      2. de Combys

        Allow me to disagree, since he used his mental image to dictate what action to take.

        1. DarkVeghetta

          His mental image is a symbol of his feelings here, not what led to his actions. His thoughts on the matter, his opinions and feelings are what led to his actions – which for the most part are somewhere in the ballpark of ‘get off my case, you cute/annoying little thing you’. Feeling annoyed when someone bugs you about something you don’t want to face is a rather normal human reaction – a stupid one as well considering he really should get it off his chest and DO something about it, but rather banal as far as reactions go.

    3. skdk

      the difference is that becky was joking and didnt actually see anyone as a nazi or a bad person of any sort, while walky is right now thinking of his girlfriend as an annoying dog and we dont know if he thinks of her like this often or not

    4. StClair

      Oh, I’m definitely reacting poorly to it. Guess I wasn’t specific enough about what and why in my first comment.

      1. Yotomoe

        A little late, but it’s because it’s only sexist because Dotties a girl. I saw it as Walky thinking of her as annoying, persistant and obnoxious, like a yapping dog who’s right at his pants leg, giving him hardly any piece. It has nothing to do with the fact that she’s FEMALE. Just that she’s being annoying. At least that’s how I interpret it.

    5. Yotomoe

      A little late, but it’s because it’s only sexist because Dotties a girl. I saw it as Walky thinking of her as annoying, persistant and obnoxious, like a yapping dog who’s right at his pants leg, giving him hardly any piece. It has nothing to do with the fact that she’s FEMALE. Just that she’s being annoying. At least that’s how I interpret it.

      1. skdk

        ..?? obviously its only sexist because shes a girl. thats like saying catcalling is only sexist because theyre girls. like.. thats exactly what it is?
        the point is, no matter if its sexist or not, its not a nice way of thinking of your girl/boyfriend

  48. DSL

    “I am offended by what I read into what you may or may not have said!”

    1. de Combys

      Great summary of any and every conflictual relationship!

    2. DarkVeghetta

      Precisely why I advocate chilling the fuck down every time someone gets offended by implications. Now actions on the other hand, those carry more weight.

  49. Emily

    I am just so uninterested in Walky at this point. There’s only so much “insufferable manchild” I can tolerate before I stop caring about a character.

    1. Spencer

      I mean, he doesn’t really act like this all the time. Just a while ago we had him outright supporting Sal and give Amber some much needed advice.

      Walky’s flawed because everyone is flawed.

      1. Rutee

        I agree that Walky’s set up in a way that can be interesting, but his arc doesn’t have to appeal to everyone. I like the twerp, but I like pretty much every kid except Ryan. No one’s obligated to, though.

    2. skdk

      wtf

    3. DarkVeghetta

      This would imply you where invested in him at some point. Only ones I have some sort of investment in DoA are Sal, Becky, Dina, Ruth & Billie. Completely different story for Walky’s alternate from joyceandwalky, I am quite fond of him there (Joyce even more so… damn she’s adorable there >.< ), but they are separate characters.

  50. Charles Phipps

    Well, we knew Walky is a chauvinist. Albeit, a mild relatively harmless one.

    1. de Combys

      How is it harmless to be deceitful and condescending?

      1. Charles Phipps

        Because it’s not a serious relationship and Dorothy made it clear this is a “just for funzies” thing. Walkey not wanting to open up is entirely valid in an openly non-committed relationship.

      2. DarkVeghetta

        You can’t be condescending to someone in your own mind – you become such once you express it. There is no such thing as a thought-crime.

  51. DSL

    I dream that one day all people who continually pester you when you don’t want to be pestered may be safely thought of as small yappy dogs, regardless of their gender. Trigger warning: Roy Rogers’ horse.

  52. Willoughby Chase

    Willis seems to have described my parent’s relationship down to a t:(

  53. Charles Phipps

    Is Willis SURE he can’t include Puppy Dorothy in future strips? Maybe with a Puppy Walky?

  54. Clayton

    I’m voting for Puppy Dorothy in the patreon strips and advise you all to do the same

    1. Spencer

      You can’t stop us, Willis. Puppy Dorothy will succeed.

      1. Charles Phipps

        Vote!

        1. Spencer

          Sorry, my desire for more Sayid trumps Puppy Dorothy.

    2. DarkVeghetta

      I’m with ya.

      1. DarkVeghetta

        Wait wait… … can we get Kitty-Joyce instead? Pweeeeeese?! 😀 😀

  55. Palamdrone

    99 problems but the bongo aint one.

  56. nlips

    Giant Slab o’ Problems?

    Really Walky? Are there problems I don’t know about? Seems to me your problem is that you’re failing college and trying to hide it. What are your other problems?

    1. Spencer

      He’s learned that his parents have been neglecting his sister, he’s directly benefited from that neglect by virtue of having more white traits then Sal, he’s fallen in love with someone who is inevitably going to leave him, and he’s been raised by a culture that tells him expressing frustration or sadness over any of these things makes him a little diaper baby who needs a little rattle.

      1. de Combys

        Bam!

      2. DarkVeghetta

        Since when is Walky bothered by being viewed as a ‘diper baby’?

        1. Russ

          If he wasn’t afraid of expressing his feelings like a baby (i.e. he being perceived as weak) then he’d be able to talk to his girlfriend about his problems.

        2. Emperor Norton II

          This is the same Walky that refused to own more than one pair of shoes because more than one would indicate that he was less of a man.

          Sure, he tries to -act- like he doesn’t care about what other people think about him, and that he’s perfect. But like most other characters in this strip; it is just that: An act.

        3. DarkVeghetta

          Yes, but what HE thinks makes him look manly and what actually makes him look like a ‘diaper baby’ are mostly one and the same.
          This is because his notions of manliness are mostly from his preteen years.

    2. Ashley

      To be fair, we all tend to see our problems as a giant slab o’ problems.

  57. Charles Phipps

    Random insane thought: If this was Super Mario Brothers, Yoshi would eat Puppy Dorothy.

    1. DarkVeghetta

      That’s because that’s Yoshi’s standard answer to EVERY problem. Or in rare cases, laying an egg.

  58. de Combys

    This strip should be titled : Walky and Dorothy’s first major step towards codependency.

    Whyyyy

    1. DarkVeghetta

      But codependency is FUN! Well, only if both are into that, then it can be quite fulfilling.

  59. Dongopolis

    BANGS FISTS ON TABLE
    PUPPY-DOROTHY PUPPY-DOROTHY PUPPY-DOROTHY

  60. Sam

    Kind of wish this was Honesty of Age now so we could avoid this entire issue of unnecessary lying.

  61. Michael Haneline

    Wait, who is that in the third panel?

  62. Nena

    Dorothy is going to learn that you can’t go around fixing people. Yes, the intentions are probably good, but immature boys like Walky will resent that and it will all end in tears.

    Nowadays I know that if someone is going to be a self destructive twat, I go ahead and let them. If they want help or ask for it, that’s one thing. If they ever lash out at you, just let them be!

    1. Rob Carlson

      Speaking as a recovered (I think) immature boy, I don’t agree with your advice. If I only heard what I need to hear when I wanted to hear it, I’d never have heard it.

    2. Guairdean Beatha

      When my wife and I married I became the step-dad of a 13 year old daughter. Her opinion was “He’s wrong, but we can fix him.” Let’s just say things were rocky for a while. She learned that people don’t “fix”, and I learned to listen and then privately ask my wife “What the hell’s going on?”

  63. Rob Carlson

    First reaction when reading this: “Lol, I remember having a puppy. Gotta throw ’em that bone!”

    Second reaction when reading this: “Oh. Oh wait. People are gonna jump all over Willis for this. >_>”

  64. skdk

    the people here sure are interesting

  65. BrokenEye, The True False Prophet

    Whew, now I don’t have to tell her that I secretly moonlight as an alien-hunter for the government

  66. WubLub

    God damnit, Walky

  67. The Candyman

    Damn, Walky sure has some weird fetishes.

  68. Tomas

    Walky has that “I hope this doesn’t awaken something in me.” look on his face.

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