She fights it by supporting the victims, and by judiciously choosing her battles with the perpetrator (notably, getting involved only when they ask her to, and winning). Not sure what else one can expect an 18-year-old to do about her not-quite-friends’ shitty mom.
Tan
This is a… Generous reading of Jennifer. Could you point to an instance of her supporting Sal?
I can’t recall if she’s ever had an explicit conversation with Sal about it, but Jennifer has always been supporting Sal in the background. She’s never shied away from backing Sal up to those who don’t want to hear or believe her, which I think is why those two still get along after years of the Walkertons favoring Jennifer over their biological daughter.
JR
Yup, pope’s got it. She also went to bat for the twins vis-a-vis Linda being vindictive against Amber after the kidnapping. They asked for her help with their mom and she stepped up immediately. I get that commenters would love to see Linda put in her place but she’s pretty dang powerful in the DoA world. What’s Jennifer gonna do? Start a fistfight? Escalate every argument until she forfeits her position as an effective advocate? She’s far from a perfect person, but dang, the premise that she doesn’t “bother” to fight Linda because she’s unimpacted is…Jesus, I don’t know. Uncharitably fundamentalist, let’s say.
keep in mind she went up against Ruth’s gramps and couldn’t bring herself to hit him more than a slight brushing against his arm
JR
Right, she drew the line at assaulting a senior citizen who might be a veteran. Didn’t know how best to support Ruth in that moment, but she certainly wanted to.
Also, is this Ms. Billingsworth showing a bit of actual empathy for a forest quad nerd? (I don’t anticipate a tonne of growth here. Just analyzing the armour for cracks.)
GholaHalleck
She’s gonna crack and want normalcy right when Asher’s had enough and threeways Ethan and Booster.
She’s right, though. Lucy needs to focus on building a future with Walky without wasting her energy trying to impress Linda N’ Toadie….Billingsworth could do no wrong in her surrogate mother’s eyes and she still sees Linda for what she is.
Frankly, I’m seeing Lucy’s response to this as evidence she very much is the keeper she believes herself to be. I always pictured Jungian Innocents who find Life’s way of putting people into unwinnable situations designed to make them feel like they’re perfectly winnable and you *have* to grin and bare it to be very infuriating as a sign that they see the World as clearly as any cynic. Seriously, she technically got her high for her future with Walky smashed to pieces, and she’s doing a fine job of not taking it out on anyone. Doesn’t like how Sarah does that, so she makes an effort not to do so.
As knee-jerky as it makes Lucy and some folk here, Jennifer is right.
Why does the goalpost move? To folks like Linda, it’s NEVER bigotry. It’s always a billion loaded, inconsistent, bullshit reasons for policies, customs, *traditions*, standards and decisions that JUST HAPPEN to hurt minorities more than they hurt the straight, white, affluent, “normal”, “””respectable””” people who’ve held power in this country for centuries.
Either Linda doesn’t know she’s bigoted and refuses to admit she’s been misguided because of pride or some shit, or she knows she’s a bigot and won’t tell anyone, on the premise that it doesn’t matter to her or even that she thinks that it’s a good thing.
Regardless, it is evident that attempts to change her mind are futile. Walky, Lucy, break the cycle. Change the things that you CAN. Your parents and parents-in-law are not automatically good or joyful to be around because “family”, but of course you don’t realize that if you are in the habit of perceiving what things in your life are *supposed* to be as opposed to what they actually ARE.
Give up kicking the football, Charlie Brown.
Why not do something actually joyful? Like for instance watching Dexter and Monkey Master? Or playing Joyce’s Nightmare? Or Snood?
Or better yet, you still have a few seconds to pull Walky by the collar into your room and bone him immediately.
I mean aren’t you the racist for not seeing it’s really Lucy who has some quality that just screams “budding criminal”? I mean, look into those eyes. She is pure evil.
I dunno about her eyes, but it’s definitely something else in the face region… Maybe something to do with the complexion – something about it just leads people like Walky’s mom to impressions like a “*dark* future” for her son if he dates this girl. Maybe she thinks Lucy’s a superficial girl, and her personality only goes *skin-deep*. Besides, Walky doesn’t need to be dating anyone right now – after all, it’s not a *race*. Besides, with Walky’s track-record, Linda would be doing Lucy a favor by scaring her off this early into the relationship – she wouldn’t want their breakup to be a *black* mark on their school life, right?
… Fifth euphemism about Linda’s (benefit of the doubt) unintentional racial bias that can’t help coming out when she talks.
I don’t suppose Walky can stay away from his family as long as they’re putting him through school, but he can let their bullshit roll off his back. My second wife’s parents didn’t want her marrying a goy. We gave their wants no regard at all.
Pun-ter the Harharharbarian
Walky can, sure, but it’s unfair to ask your significant other to do so as well.
Not every problem can be solved by ‘pulling someone into your room and boning them immediately’.
On the other hand, it does tend to give you something else to think about for a while…
Jennifer is making her brand “she’s right but she shouldn’t have crossed that line”. Mike at least had the decency to mask the barbed truth with juvenile insults so you could offload some of the anger on hating him.
“Moving Goal Posts” is a currently popular idiom for NPD parents and a method they use to control their prey that makes trying to prove anything to them or make them happy/proud/comfortable/any act beyond common formality a glorified trap. Makes sense that it would apply to Linda.
It’s not even NPD. These are literally so-called “pick-up artist” techniques of Negging and Love-Bombing, in which some dude-bro denigrates you and undermines your confidence so you fixate your attention on them and seek their recognition, only for them to suddenly turn around and treat you “well”.
In which they still HORRIBLY insult the way you talk, look, your interests, tastes, beliefs, etc, but the criticisms are now directed at “””them””” — your friends, your communities, your homies. But not you. The dude-bro tells you you’re better than “”””them”””, like he sees potential in you. After trying to get their respect for what seems like forever, suddenly having it, or what seems like it, seems cool.
But it isn’t REALLY respect. What’s actually going on here is a thinly veiled form of grooming.
I would dare say that this would be the first time where he is not so indifferent towards her, I mean, in the last panel his expression shows some concern.
Maybe I read too much into significance of kisses and what they show in this strip. Her apologizing in the same situation where he 1. made a crude joke and 2. did an “I told you so”, and punctuating it with possibly their first kiss.
Best I can get for what it represents about their relationship is something Mym said yesterday.
“Lucy is doing literally all of the lifting-heavy and light- in this relationship.”
Mym
Shit, you’re bringing out my inner Carla. I love attention.
But fr, Lucy is doing everything
Li
+1 alas.
I do think Walky is TRYING, but. How many different ways can I say his heart doesn’t seem to be in it.
I think Lucy knows Jennifer’s right, too, and also that she genuinely means it when she says she is sorry here. Like, Jennifer isn’t really any more fond of Linda’s shit on this than the twins are, but she’s also in a position where she can’t really rock the boat with the pedestal they’ve got her on.
And if she does start making waves, Jennifer doesn’t get dumked – Sal and Walky get waterboarded for it.
Sometimes you protect others until they figure out how to protect themselves, because any other option only leads to more pain on them (personal experience? This sucks). I do wonder just how much interference Jennifer has run, rightly or wrongly, for Walky’s sake over the years.
Being in an emotional state might make ppl double down but given such an unpleasant experience with Linda i’d def not be in a rush to spend time with them again (tho i’d get emotionally drained even if i had a good time, so i prolly wouldn’t wanna spend time with ppl twice in a row even if they were related to a partner lol)
I think Jennifer isn’t supposed to care about these nerds. That was Billie’s thing. And so it underscores how much she hasn’t really left Billie despite her convincing herself she has.
C.T. Phipps
I’m not sure Jennifer is supposed to not care. After all, she thinks of the Walkertons as her real family.
283 thoughts on “Respectable”
Ana Chronistic
“look, I don’t make the rules”
=/
Angel
“but it never inconvenienced me personally that much, so i don’t bother fighting against them”
JR
She fights it by supporting the victims, and by judiciously choosing her battles with the perpetrator (notably, getting involved only when they ask her to, and winning). Not sure what else one can expect an 18-year-old to do about her not-quite-friends’ shitty mom.
Tan
This is a… Generous reading of Jennifer. Could you point to an instance of her supporting Sal?
pope suburban
She did get Walky up to speed on Sal’s problems with their parents, which resulted in him finally being an ally to his sister: https://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/04-just-hangin-out-with-my-family/whitelady/
Then she followed up on that later: https://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-4/01-the-only-dope-for-me-is-you/villainy/
I can’t recall if she’s ever had an explicit conversation with Sal about it, but Jennifer has always been supporting Sal in the background. She’s never shied away from backing Sal up to those who don’t want to hear or believe her, which I think is why those two still get along after years of the Walkertons favoring Jennifer over their biological daughter.
JR
Yup, pope’s got it. She also went to bat for the twins vis-a-vis Linda being vindictive against Amber after the kidnapping. They asked for her help with their mom and she stepped up immediately. I get that commenters would love to see Linda put in her place but she’s pretty dang powerful in the DoA world. What’s Jennifer gonna do? Start a fistfight? Escalate every argument until she forfeits her position as an effective advocate? She’s far from a perfect person, but dang, the premise that she doesn’t “bother” to fight Linda because she’s unimpacted is…Jesus, I don’t know. Uncharitably fundamentalist, let’s say.
Ana Chronistic
keep in mind she went up against Ruth’s gramps and couldn’t bring herself to hit him more than a slight brushing against his arm
JR
Right, she drew the line at assaulting a senior citizen who might be a veteran. Didn’t know how best to support Ruth in that moment, but she certainly wanted to.
Decidedly Orthogonal
Speaking of which, it’s not church-going that makes you a moral citizen Lucy. The proof of that is in the paedopriests.
Which isn’t to claim you aren’t Lucy. You deserve better than to be shit on by Linda.
Decidedly Orthogonal
Also, is this Ms. Billingsworth showing a bit of actual empathy for a forest quad nerd? (I don’t anticipate a tonne of growth here. Just analyzing the armour for cracks.)
GholaHalleck
She’s gonna crack and want normalcy right when Asher’s had enough and threeways Ethan and Booster.
DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
She’s right, though. Lucy needs to focus on building a future with Walky without wasting her energy trying to impress Linda N’ Toadie….Billingsworth could do no wrong in her surrogate mother’s eyes and she still sees Linda for what she is.
Frankly, I’m seeing Lucy’s response to this as evidence she very much is the keeper she believes herself to be. I always pictured Jungian Innocents who find Life’s way of putting people into unwinnable situations designed to make them feel like they’re perfectly winnable and you *have* to grin and bare it to be very infuriating as a sign that they see the World as clearly as any cynic. Seriously, she technically got her high for her future with Walky smashed to pieces, and she’s doing a fine job of not taking it out on anyone. Doesn’t like how Sarah does that, so she makes an effort not to do so.
NGPZ
As knee-jerky as it makes Lucy and some folk here, Jennifer is right.
Why does the goalpost move? To folks like Linda, it’s NEVER bigotry. It’s always a billion loaded, inconsistent, bullshit reasons for policies, customs, *traditions*, standards and decisions that JUST HAPPEN to hurt minorities more than they hurt the straight, white, affluent, “normal”, “””respectable””” people who’ve held power in this country for centuries.
Either Linda doesn’t know she’s bigoted and refuses to admit she’s been misguided because of pride or some shit, or she knows she’s a bigot and won’t tell anyone, on the premise that it doesn’t matter to her or even that she thinks that it’s a good thing.
Regardless, it is evident that attempts to change her mind are futile. Walky, Lucy, break the cycle. Change the things that you CAN. Your parents and parents-in-law are not automatically good or joyful to be around because “family”, but of course you don’t realize that if you are in the habit of perceiving what things in your life are *supposed* to be as opposed to what they actually ARE.
Give up kicking the football, Charlie Brown.
Why not do something actually joyful? Like for instance watching Dexter and Monkey Master? Or playing Joyce’s Nightmare? Or Snood?
Or better yet, you still have a few seconds to pull Walky by the collar into your room and bone him immediately.
C.T. Phipps
I mean aren’t you the racist for not seeing it’s really Lucy who has some quality that just screams “budding criminal”? I mean, look into those eyes. She is pure evil.
Yeah. Poor Lucy.
Stay away from this family.
Pun-ter the Harharharbarian
I dunno about her eyes, but it’s definitely something else in the face region… Maybe something to do with the complexion – something about it just leads people like Walky’s mom to impressions like a “*dark* future” for her son if he dates this girl. Maybe she thinks Lucy’s a superficial girl, and her personality only goes *skin-deep*. Besides, Walky doesn’t need to be dating anyone right now – after all, it’s not a *race*. Besides, with Walky’s track-record, Linda would be doing Lucy a favor by scaring her off this early into the relationship – she wouldn’t want their breakup to be a *black* mark on their school life, right?
… Fifth euphemism about Linda’s (benefit of the doubt) unintentional racial bias that can’t help coming out when she talks.
BarerMender
I don’t suppose Walky can stay away from his family as long as they’re putting him through school, but he can let their bullshit roll off his back. My second wife’s parents didn’t want her marrying a goy. We gave their wants no regard at all.
Pun-ter the Harharharbarian
Walky can, sure, but it’s unfair to ask your significant other to do so as well.
Angel
People are sick of her, but it would be interesting if there was some bonus mini arc of flashbacks showing how they first met
Bicycle Bill
Not every problem can be solved by ‘pulling someone into your room and boning them immediately’.
On the other hand, it does tend to give you something else to think about for a while…
NGPZ
“give me caffeine to help me change the things that I can, and sex to help me accept the things that I can’t”
HueSatLight
“and a couple of assholes to tell me the difference.”
khn0
I’m not sure I want to know what you put in your coffee.
TC
Turning that around, I know at least one real human who uses coffee enemas to increase intestinal motility.
Daibhid C
It solves some problems. For instance, it might convince Jennifer to leave rather than dropping uncomfortable truths.
Mark
I’m guessing Jennifer would put some popcorn in the microwave and settle in to watch.
Pylgrim
Jennifer is making her brand “she’s right but she shouldn’t have crossed that line”. Mike at least had the decency to mask the barbed truth with juvenile insults so you could offload some of the anger on hating him.
Schpoonman
Always weird when someone defends Mike.
Needfuldoer
Great, now I’ve got the Snood game noises stuck in my head again. Thanks. 😛
(Can’t believe it’s been 25 years since I picked it up as shareware…)
Tsakta
You can play it free online these days
DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
“Moving Goal Posts” is a currently popular idiom for NPD parents and a method they use to control their prey that makes trying to prove anything to them or make them happy/proud/comfortable/any act beyond common formality a glorified trap. Makes sense that it would apply to Linda.
NGPZ
It’s not even NPD. These are literally so-called “pick-up artist” techniques of Negging and Love-Bombing, in which some dude-bro denigrates you and undermines your confidence so you fixate your attention on them and seek their recognition, only for them to suddenly turn around and treat you “well”.
In which they still HORRIBLY insult the way you talk, look, your interests, tastes, beliefs, etc, but the criticisms are now directed at “””them””” — your friends, your communities, your homies. But not you. The dude-bro tells you you’re better than “”””them”””, like he sees potential in you. After trying to get their respect for what seems like forever, suddenly having it, or what seems like it, seems cool.
But it isn’t REALLY respect. What’s actually going on here is a thinly veiled form of grooming.
Mym
In which Jennifer is the comment section
Angel
at least she doesn’t seem to be gloating about it compared to sarah
Needfuldoer
Yeah, to me her subtle expression change in the second-to-last panel says “whoops I hit too hard”.
MoreWLessG
I like the 4th wall breaking. Feels validating.
Doctor_Who
This may be the most thoughtful and sympathetic Jennifer has ever been toward Lucy.
Coatl
I would dare say that this would be the first time where he is not so indifferent towards her, I mean, in the last panel his expression shows some concern.
Vanessa
Her
UrsulaDavina
It’s a key slip mishap no need to point it out.
Taffy
Congratulations on Jennifer for the transition.
Thag Simmons
definitely up there
Imogen
Yeah, I think this is Jennifer actively trying to be helpful. Maybe she was trying all along, and just kind of bad at it.
Imogen
Hm, can we try that again?
Imogen
eeeeehh I’m gonna be picky
Imogen
I do like Malaya. Sure, we’ll go with them for now. Girl-adjacent is close enough.
Pergola
If there’s been a grav shuffle, why do I still have Lucy?
Imogen
Lucy is persistent.
Mym
Isn’t she though? Like a bedbug infestation
Needfuldoer
She can be very trying.
HueSatLight
first kiss on panel.
HueSatLight
context is she’s apologizing to him for … ?
Not sure what to make of it yet.
DailyBrad
I think she is apologizing since she’s A. in a mood due to what happened, and B. not banging yet, even if she knows he understands.
Coatl
or both
MM
Also possibly a touch of plain old “sorry your mom sucks.”
Psi baka onna
Sympathy via light physical contact?
HueSatLight
Maybe I read too much into significance of kisses and what they show in this strip. Her apologizing in the same situation where he 1. made a crude joke and 2. did an “I told you so”, and punctuating it with possibly their first kiss.
Best I can get for what it represents about their relationship is something Mym said yesterday.
“Lucy is doing literally all of the lifting-heavy and light- in this relationship.”
Mym
Shit, you’re bringing out my inner Carla. I love attention.
But fr, Lucy is doing everything
Li
+1 alas.
I do think Walky is TRYING, but. How many different ways can I say his heart doesn’t seem to be in it.
Mark
Take that, doomsayers!
Mym
Still doomsaying
Jamie
Lucy gonna Lucy, I guess.
newlland(Henryvolt)
Nah Jennifer is giving the right advice here.
Is it something you want to hear hear? No.
Is it the truth? As ugly as it is, yes.
Does she need to hear it? Also yes the sooner she realizes the sooner she can stop seeking approval that’s not worth it.
DailyBrad
I think Lucy knows Jennifer’s right, too, and also that she genuinely means it when she says she is sorry here. Like, Jennifer isn’t really any more fond of Linda’s shit on this than the twins are, but she’s also in a position where she can’t really rock the boat with the pedestal they’ve got her on.
Weatherheight
And if she does start making waves, Jennifer doesn’t get dumked – Sal and Walky get waterboarded for it.
Sometimes you protect others until they figure out how to protect themselves, because any other option only leads to more pain on them (personal experience? This sucks). I do wonder just how much interference Jennifer has run, rightly or wrongly, for Walky’s sake over the years.
Angel
Being in an emotional state might make ppl double down but given such an unpleasant experience with Linda i’d def not be in a rush to spend time with them again (tho i’d get emotionally drained even if i had a good time, so i prolly wouldn’t wanna spend time with ppl twice in a row even if they were related to a partner lol)
C.T. Phipps
Jennifer did not expect Lucy to just brush her off.
MM
I don’t think she’s surprised by Lucy’s reaction. If anything, she doesn’t seem sure what to do about having actual feelings about it.
Matthew Davis
I think Jennifer isn’t supposed to care about these nerds. That was Billie’s thing. And so it underscores how much she hasn’t really left Billie despite her convincing herself she has.
C.T. Phipps
I’m not sure Jennifer is supposed to not care. After all, she thinks of the Walkertons as her real family.
Bittersweet