Judas Iscariot gets a pile of coins. Peter, inverted cross. Thomas a monocle. Mary a condom. Jude (judas Greater) could have a question mark, as in, who is this guy?
Laura
Matthew gets a ledger.
John gets a heart.
Laura
James, son of Zebedee gets a fish.
Laura
(No, sorry, a scallop shell. D’oh!)
Maveric1984
By your powers combined, I am CAPTAIN JESUS!
RoyanRannedos
(Music) Captain Jesus, he’s our savior!
Gonna punish all that bad behavior!
His apostles are so white,
All of them, except that Judas guy~
CAPTAIN JESUS: The power is…Yeah, it’s kinda still mine.
I utterly refuse to believe that Young Joyce would know what a condom looks like.
I’d bet folding money Current Joyce doesn’t either. Roz handed them out once, but if Joyce (in the stage she was in at the time) saw that she either blocked it out or thought she was passing out weird moist towelettes.
Laura
Mary could have a veil. 🙂
Samniel
Didn’t Roz have Joyce help her distribute condoms with a comical dildo hat on her head? If she didn’t before, I’m sure she knew after that.
BadRoad
Peter could have a cornerstone.
Pylgrim
Mary gets a dove since she was made pregnant by the Holy Spirit and that’s a common depiction of it.
Decidedly Orthogonal
P.S. Despite not being at the last supper, Paul should have a big dildo because he’s such a dick.
I will be very disappointed if there isn’t a drawing of Joyce and Becky holding hands on the back of a giant pony, with the caption “Besties Forever” written at the top.
at this point it’s like the “what is the most evolved” trick question from a few years ago. Her fundamentalist upbringing gave her a structure for her life that she could adopt. She then autistically obsessed over it for her entire childhood. Asking which is doing this is like trying to separate soda water from concentrate after it’s become Sprite.
It tends to be in the fundamentalist sects more then other sects but fundamentalism regardless of religion trends towards racism, bigotry and fear of outsiders.
I mean, a lot of them don’t even know they’re doing it, is the scary part.
Like I said in an earlier post, a big trend in christian conservative coalitions and alt-right movements in the US is that a big part of it depends on members keeping themselves carefully ignorant of their own beliefs. For not only would it scare the SHIT out of them if they actually realized what they believe in, but knowing and being obliged to defend a coherent worldview would otherwise impair their ability to argue effectively.
Is socialism anti-God, or should we not take the Bible literally when it tells us that it’s impossible to serve both wealth and God? Is the Bible a defense for policy you don’t agree with, or isn’t it?
Should we defend gun-ownership rights because “what if we need to overthrow the government some day”, or should we take cops at their word when they shoot a POC for “looking like they might have a gun”? Should we distrust authority, or love cops and the troops?
Does the diversification of children’s TV show characters, clothing and school history texts entail “subliminal leftist brainwashing”, or is subconscious racism bullshit? Can ideologies be subconsciously embraced or can they not?
For the conservative, the answer is whatever wins the argument with a leftist at the given moment. And by “winning”, what that usually entails is what they interpret as a “forfeit”, which in actuality is the moment when we leave the conversation because we feel it’s unproductive or possibly even unsafe to continue.
The more “wins” they get like this picking up and throwing rhetoric the conservative christian media machines crank out and throwing it at leftists, the more they are convinced there must be something to it, the more superior they feel, and so on in this cycle.
The only true abiding principle for them is self-interest — all other principles and viewpoints are but tools to pick up and drop depending on their utility. From the high-schooler willing to defend the Japanese Interment camps of WWII and the “lost cause” of the confederacy just to feel superior to their peers, to the middle schooler rewarded for being able to believe one thing in science class and another in church service, much conservative culture encourages practical ignorance of their own beliefs at all stages.
Not to bring politics in this, but a minister recently called a bunch of Jesus’ beliefs weak and compared him unfavorably to Trump. The Prosperity Gospel and Southern Fundamentalist Christianity are basically antithetical to Christianity as it is taught with a massive number of beliefs designed to basically invert the faith regarding poverty, pacifism, and universal salvation.
A theology teacher of mine (I had a very interesting education) basically said that the extremist Christian ideologies of America are inherently tied two things:
1. Being descended from violent Protestant exiles from England.
2. Slavery
The 2# basically said that Christians in the 14th century knew slavery was evil but when the corrupt Borgias re-legalized it (it had already died out) for financial reasons, they paid extensive amounts of money to find various biblical justifications for it. The Southern baptists split with mainstream Baptism over it and more or less rewrote Christianity as a whole to justify slavery as an institution in Southern america.
Hence the racism isn’t a bug, it is the entire point.
HueSatLight
I read an interview with Leonard Cohen or maybe someone else, wish I could remember exactly. He said something like the devil tempted Jesus at the high place with dominion over all peoples, and Jesus said no, but the church said yes.
C.T. Phipps
The Bible is fascinating if you read it from an anarchist perspective (as I do being an anarchist comedy writer).
Everything Jesus hated about fundamentalists, the rich, and war is as relevant today as it was 2000 years ago.
In any case, props to Willis for so many fantastic jokes about a sensitive topic.
Another subject that often seems relevant to people arguing in bad faith (even, perhaps, when they’re not aware they’re doing it) is implicature: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Implicature
I’m probably too tired to summarise properly right now, but it’s generally about what’s implied (hence the name) versus what’s actually said. So, when certain people say “the Jews killed Jesus”, they can defend their words biblically by pointing to the verses in which a crowd of Jews called for the execution of Jesus, while glossing over how they’re using it as an excuse to hate Jews in general, never mind that Joe (for example) wouldn’t have been involved in the event in question, or that Jesus would’ve been a Jew himself… but, when raising their children to be as bigoted as they are, they take full example of the “hate all Jews except the ones we implicitly consider not to be Jews” implication.
Actually, come to think of it, that might be a better example of the motte-and-bailey fallacy. Too tired, as I mentioned; sorry.
Sounds like WOPR was right: the only way to win is not to play.
Firseal
The problem with not playing with such individuals is they regard the other side not playing as a win. If one gives up arguing with them, then that’s a win. If their troll logic somehow wins, that’s a win. Basically, unless the people doing the bad faith arguments are soundly confronted and out-argued, they feel like they win. Then they come back the next day with the exact same topics, arguments, and mindset, because they like the superior feeling when they ‘win’ against whomever they are arguing with.
I have personally watched conservatives adopt, discard, and re-adopt “deeply-held core beliefs” over the course of a single conversation. Any number of times.
The only thing that they appear to truly, consistently believe is “Us Good, Them Bad.”
I was thinking he was drawn either Middle Eastern or Black but weirdly it didn’t even occur to me he was drawn as a Jewish stereotype (but I suppose that’s cuz Joe said “non white” and I don’t consider myself and other Jews to not be white)
Racism’s one of those things where you don’t win regardless, you just lose a little less than everyone else. Jewish is white until it’s time to vilify them for all our problems because they secretly run the world or whatever the stereotype is. I’m sure Joe’s dealt with his share of bs too.
“white” is arbitrary and always interpretated in the way it benefits whatever agenda the elite is trying to promote. At some point the Irish weren’t considered white.
176 thoughts on “Purple-striped”
Ana Chronistic
I would say, shame if at least one of those isn’t the pony versions but I guess that’s a bridge too far for then-Joyce
Paradoxius
Quick, what would the apostles cutie marks be?
Decidedly Orthogonal
Judas Iscariot gets a pile of coins. Peter, inverted cross. Thomas a monocle. Mary a condom. Jude (judas Greater) could have a question mark, as in, who is this guy?
Laura
Matthew gets a ledger.
John gets a heart.
Laura
James, son of Zebedee gets a fish.
Laura
(No, sorry, a scallop shell. D’oh!)
Maveric1984
By your powers combined, I am CAPTAIN JESUS!
RoyanRannedos
(Music) Captain Jesus, he’s our savior!
Gonna punish all that bad behavior!
His apostles are so white,
All of them, except that Judas guy~
CAPTAIN JESUS: The power is…Yeah, it’s kinda still mine.
Maveric1984
I love you
RoyanRannedos
Sauce: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1QYQpHdzpw
Doctor_Who
I utterly refuse to believe that Young Joyce would know what a condom looks like.
I’d bet folding money Current Joyce doesn’t either. Roz handed them out once, but if Joyce (in the stage she was in at the time) saw that she either blocked it out or thought she was passing out weird moist towelettes.
Laura
Mary could have a veil. 🙂
Samniel
Didn’t Roz have Joyce help her distribute condoms with a comical dildo hat on her head? If she didn’t before, I’m sure she knew after that.
BadRoad
Peter could have a cornerstone.
Pylgrim
Mary gets a dove since she was made pregnant by the Holy Spirit and that’s a common depiction of it.
Decidedly Orthogonal
P.S. Despite not being at the last supper, Paul should have a big dildo because he’s such a dick.
Paprikahoernchen
Didn’t expect to read answers to this question today.
Reltzik
Thomas’s mark would be a hole getting fingered.
Decidedly Orthogonal
I’m changing my vote from my suggestion to this. 100% Perfect christian symbolism.
Taellosse
You are hereby awarded +500 internetz. Pure brilliance!
NGPZ
One hell of a cathartic bonfire awaits!!! Speaking of which…
*stims out to “Charlie’s Inferno” by The Handsome Devil on hacked muzak*
Laura
Thanks, NG.
…In case anyone else is, like Joyce, and, like me, stressing out right now, here’s some more audiosoothe…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=techmgGVOhk
NGPZ
? Oh thank you Laura, I’ll be honest here, I am on the verge of autistic meltdown and really need to take it easy ?
Laura
We’re here, hon’.
We can do this. Si, se puede.
(( <3 ))
Mym
How many ponies did Joyce share a ride on in these drawings
Tawdry Quirks
I will be very disappointed if there isn’t a drawing of Joyce and Becky holding hands on the back of a giant pony, with the caption “Besties Forever” written at the top.
PirateTawnee
That’s the next bonus strip for Willis to draw sorted I guess.
Lokitsu
What I’d they were riding on the back of a giant Jesus instead?
Dana
When there were three sets of footprints…
DailyBrad
Unpacking a lot while unboxing these memories, ain’t we.
Sirksome
Is it autism or her upbringing? What are the odds at?
Leorale
It’s both, and we can’t unscramble that egg.
AY
Nature AND nurture
milu
Narture.
DashWallkick
at this point it’s like the “what is the most evolved” trick question from a few years ago. Her fundamentalist upbringing gave her a structure for her life that she could adopt. She then autistically obsessed over it for her entire childhood. Asking which is doing this is like trying to separate soda water from concentrate after it’s become Sprite.
Mark
To separate soda water from concentrate, just drink the Sprite. In a few hours it’s all sorted.
SeanR
I’m pretty sure reverse osmosis would work for that. There’s not going to be much in a beverage that has a molar weight lower than 18.
DashWallkick
….How am *I* the one with the Dina avatar and *you’re* the one with Joe??
Spriteless
I wonder if her parents are a little autistic, making the structure of fundamentalism more appealing.
Mr. Random
I hobestly wonder how much weird shit I internalized that I still haven’t figured out.
Kravis
Is a fudgeload more or less than a brazilian?
Decidedly Orthogonal
I’ve seen a fudgeload cover a brazilian, so I’d wager it’s more. And if you mean the non-sexually euphemistic fudgeload, way more!
morleuca
Personally I’ve been procrastinating my brazilian because it’s going to cost a fudgeload. 800 up front for 8 months of getting shot with lasers.
Kyrik Michalowski
I worry that I understood that too quickly; I might need a break from the internet for a day or two.
Also if you meant a literal fudgeload on a Brazilian, that could be sexy. Hard to clean up, and only good for that night, but still worth it.
Nono
…Were the ponies also white?
Devin
All but one
Pylgrim
More like they were all bright, primary and secondary colours but one.
Bin
Only best pony.
Also Celestia.
AlexaSpuds
The lengths American Christians will go to indoctrinate their children into being racists never ceases to amaze me, it’s wild.
UrsulaDavina
It tends to be in the fundamentalist sects more then other sects but fundamentalism regardless of religion trends towards racism, bigotry and fear of outsiders.
Decidedly Orthogonal
Yeah… that’s not limited to Americans or Christians.
NGPZ
I mean, a lot of them don’t even know they’re doing it, is the scary part.
Like I said in an earlier post, a big trend in christian conservative coalitions and alt-right movements in the US is that a big part of it depends on members keeping themselves carefully ignorant of their own beliefs. For not only would it scare the SHIT out of them if they actually realized what they believe in, but knowing and being obliged to defend a coherent worldview would otherwise impair their ability to argue effectively.
Is socialism anti-God, or should we not take the Bible literally when it tells us that it’s impossible to serve both wealth and God? Is the Bible a defense for policy you don’t agree with, or isn’t it?
Should we defend gun-ownership rights because “what if we need to overthrow the government some day”, or should we take cops at their word when they shoot a POC for “looking like they might have a gun”? Should we distrust authority, or love cops and the troops?
Does the diversification of children’s TV show characters, clothing and school history texts entail “subliminal leftist brainwashing”, or is subconscious racism bullshit? Can ideologies be subconsciously embraced or can they not?
For the conservative, the answer is whatever wins the argument with a leftist at the given moment. And by “winning”, what that usually entails is what they interpret as a “forfeit”, which in actuality is the moment when we leave the conversation because we feel it’s unproductive or possibly even unsafe to continue.
The more “wins” they get like this picking up and throwing rhetoric the conservative christian media machines crank out and throwing it at leftists, the more they are convinced there must be something to it, the more superior they feel, and so on in this cycle.
The only true abiding principle for them is self-interest — all other principles and viewpoints are but tools to pick up and drop depending on their utility. From the high-schooler willing to defend the Japanese Interment camps of WWII and the “lost cause” of the confederacy just to feel superior to their peers, to the middle schooler rewarded for being able to believe one thing in science class and another in church service, much conservative culture encourages practical ignorance of their own beliefs at all stages.
Honestly, that fucking terrifies me.
NGPZ
Aaaaand wow i haven’t made a mega post like that in a long time. Guess I needed a bit of catharsis as well, hehehe
C.T. Phipps
Not to bring politics in this, but a minister recently called a bunch of Jesus’ beliefs weak and compared him unfavorably to Trump. The Prosperity Gospel and Southern Fundamentalist Christianity are basically antithetical to Christianity as it is taught with a massive number of beliefs designed to basically invert the faith regarding poverty, pacifism, and universal salvation.
A theology teacher of mine (I had a very interesting education) basically said that the extremist Christian ideologies of America are inherently tied two things:
1. Being descended from violent Protestant exiles from England.
2. Slavery
The 2# basically said that Christians in the 14th century knew slavery was evil but when the corrupt Borgias re-legalized it (it had already died out) for financial reasons, they paid extensive amounts of money to find various biblical justifications for it. The Southern baptists split with mainstream Baptism over it and more or less rewrote Christianity as a whole to justify slavery as an institution in Southern america.
Hence the racism isn’t a bug, it is the entire point.
HueSatLight
I read an interview with Leonard Cohen or maybe someone else, wish I could remember exactly. He said something like the devil tempted Jesus at the high place with dominion over all peoples, and Jesus said no, but the church said yes.
C.T. Phipps
The Bible is fascinating if you read it from an anarchist perspective (as I do being an anarchist comedy writer).
Everything Jesus hated about fundamentalists, the rich, and war is as relevant today as it was 2000 years ago.
In any case, props to Willis for so many fantastic jokes about a sensitive topic.
deliverything
Another subject that often seems relevant to people arguing in bad faith (even, perhaps, when they’re not aware they’re doing it) is implicature: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Implicature
I’m probably too tired to summarise properly right now, but it’s generally about what’s implied (hence the name) versus what’s actually said. So, when certain people say “the Jews killed Jesus”, they can defend their words biblically by pointing to the verses in which a crowd of Jews called for the execution of Jesus, while glossing over how they’re using it as an excuse to hate Jews in general, never mind that Joe (for example) wouldn’t have been involved in the event in question, or that Jesus would’ve been a Jew himself… but, when raising their children to be as bigoted as they are, they take full example of the “hate all Jews except the ones we implicitly consider not to be Jews” implication.
Actually, come to think of it, that might be a better example of the motte-and-bailey fallacy. Too tired, as I mentioned; sorry.
Mark
Sounds like WOPR was right: the only way to win is not to play.
Firseal
The problem with not playing with such individuals is they regard the other side not playing as a win. If one gives up arguing with them, then that’s a win. If their troll logic somehow wins, that’s a win. Basically, unless the people doing the bad faith arguments are soundly confronted and out-argued, they feel like they win. Then they come back the next day with the exact same topics, arguments, and mindset, because they like the superior feeling when they ‘win’ against whomever they are arguing with.
Allandrel
I have personally watched conservatives adopt, discard, and re-adopt “deeply-held core beliefs” over the course of a single conversation. Any number of times.
The only thing that they appear to truly, consistently believe is “Us Good, Them Bad.”
UrsulaDavina
She probably also drew the disciples on ponies.
Needfuldoer
*as ponies.
Bin
Meanwhile Jesus rode in on a donkey.
Erica
Ahhh, so Judas was drawn as a Jew. Which makes it more personally uncomfortable for Joe I’m sure
Erica
I was thinking he was drawn either Middle Eastern or Black but weirdly it didn’t even occur to me he was drawn as a Jewish stereotype (but I suppose that’s cuz Joe said “non white” and I don’t consider myself and other Jews to not be white)
Sirksome
Racism’s one of those things where you don’t win regardless, you just lose a little less than everyone else. Jewish is white until it’s time to vilify them for all our problems because they secretly run the world or whatever the stereotype is. I’m sure Joe’s dealt with his share of bs too.
Erica
100%
jflb96
Exactly the same here – I had to dig up a Google Books pdf of the actual book to see what he’d actually been drawn as
OnyxIdol
“white” is arbitrary and always interpretated in the way it benefits whatever agenda the elite is trying to promote. At some point the Irish weren’t considered white.
Da Boy
Similar thing with Slavs, especially if Nazis were involved.
someone