223

Sixth sense
Posted on October 23, 2018 by David M Willis

223 thoughts on “Sixth sense”

  1. Doctor_Who

    Man, I hope this turns into a “HE’S A CHICKEN! A GIANT CHICKEN!” scenario, with nobody else seeing the lizard (or at least pretending not to to mess with Mary).

    1. JetstreamGW

      You wear a disguise to look like human… hats… but you’re not head…gear… you’re a lizard… Fuck…face…?

      This doesn’t roll off the tongue very well.

      1. Leorale

        Iguana Fuckface, whaddyawann’ in this place? You don’t care what you’re gonna showcase. You worn like a hat so they won’t notice that — but you’re not a hat, you’re iguana Fuckface.

        1. Queen Anthai

          This is genius.

        2. Buli-Buli

          Why can’t I like, heart, or upvote comments?!?

        3. Annonymouse

          That option is not implemented due to the critical level of [censored] that would abuse such a system.

          Also it would give the DYW just another headache.

        4. LeslieBean4Shizzle

          **applauds**

          Bravo.

        5. JetstreamGW

          Yeah, alright.

    2. Antonio Tyler

      A Chicken Boo reference? Bravo!

    3. ShinyNeen

      An entire sequence of characters dunking on Mary like this? Yes, please yes.

      1. Doctor_Who

        You just know Carla would somehow get everyone on the floor to wear head lizards (don’t ask where she got them – girl is resourceful). Or maybe convince Mary that she’s the one with a head lizard.

        1. hof1991

          Get your weird thing to wear on your head here – http://www.cheesehead.com/

    4. Ana Chronistic

      somehow just thought of “I’M TELLING!“

  2. toby

    mary needs to eat at least two more puppies to be capable of whimsy

    1. Jack Sprat

      Puppies are just SO high in calories, though.

      1. thejeff

        That’s why you go for toy breed puppies. Just as evil, but they’re so small there are less calories.

        1. Geneseepaws

          Or Tea-cup varieties, for those like Mary, but just want a mid-morning snack.

        2. heckoffsmolpuppers

          i’m pretty sure toy breed puppies are themselves more evil, so it may be LESS evil to eat them

  3. Ana Chronistic

    or Mary can detect the presence of other cold-blooded creatures

    1. Antonio Tyler

      zing, as the kids say

    2. Deanatay

      She’s an anime artist – I imagine her vision is based on yaoi.

      1. Roborat

        Oh come on now, be nice, not all manga is yaoi, just most of it.

        1. threePwny

          The rest is yuri

  4. Kamino Neko

    … I’m actually amused by Mary.

    What sorcery is this?

    1. RicardtheDragoon

      I’m surprised she delivered the punchline so seriously.

      1. DSL

        The people who take themselves most seriously can always be counted upon to deliver the punchline at their own expense.

  5. Antonio Tyler

    Mary got me to laugh.

    Send help.

    1. King Daniel

      So

      It has come to this

      1. MatthewTheLucky

        You.

        Me.

        Here.

    2. Kamino Neko

      Jinx. Sort of. We didn’t actually phrase it the same way, but… Yeah. What the hell?

    3. Wraithy2773

      I mean, she’s not wrong…

  6. Alan

    Wooooow.

  7. Leorale

    In which, nobody really cares about Mary

    1. abysswatcher1993

      That is not a surprise. People only care about awful people when they cause destruction.

      1. JessWitt

        Shh, don’t encourage her!

  8. Barduwulf

    …..He climbed up there on his own.

  9. jeffepp

    You’re not coming off as a real person, you see.

  10. Passchendaele

    good news is, if someone tells malaya, we can solve the mary problem

    1. Clif

      Malaya will know if Mary raises a fuss. So return him to his room and let Malaya handle it.

      1. thejeff

        Yeah, Mary trying to blackmail Malaya with a threat to report Fuckface would be interesting.
        “Mary? Yeah, haven’t seen her in awhile. Strange.”

        1. BBCC

          There’s a weird muffled scream from the trash chute lately.

          Must be backed up again.

  11. Stephen Bierce

    *sets a stack of Elton John records to random on the hacked Muzak*

  12. Roger

    Of course Mary’s gonna Narc

    1. DailyBrad

      Probably, but she also is the person Ruth is least likely to listen to. That, and since she’s getting laid now, Mary might just not care very much.

      1. adam

        Ruth wants to be fired anyway, why should she care?

        1. Foxhack

          Well there’s the matter of Ruth’s brother being okay while she’s in college…

        2. Regalli

          Also if Clint could pay off ResLife once I’m pretty sure he’ll do it again. He’s got an investment to protect, after all, and ‘the RA is engaged in an inappropriate relationship, is an underage alcoholic on a dry campus, and by the way is SUICIDAL and COMPLETELY INCAPABLE OF PERFORMING DUTIES’ apparently wasn’t enough to override him throwing money at things and them letting him. Can’t imagine a simple contraband pet will be compared to that.

        3. Regalli

          (Chloe apparently never gave a shit about whether or not her RAs threatened violence against people, and honestly the list of reasons why Ruth is unqualified as RA is so long I forget that part. Chloe is not good at her job!)

        4. thejeff

          It’s unclear what Chloe actually knew about the threats of violence. You’d expect someone to have reported them while Ruth was hospitalized (maybe Rachel, if not Mary?), but we didn’t see that happen.

        5. BBCC

          Ruth herself told Cloe she slapped one of her charges hard enough to leave a mark.

        6. thejeff

          Technically “slapped a Sharpie dick onto someone’s face”, which frankly I’d have a hard time taking seriously. You’d actually be more likely to get the Sharpie dick to transfer with a firm touch, not a slap.

          Slap might leave a red mark or a bruise, but that’s not what she said.

        7. BBCC

          I’d argue that the key part in that sentence is ‘slapped’. Even if you have a hard time taking it seriously, that should probably have clued her in Ruth was hitting her residents.

    2. Marsh Maryrose

      Mary is a blackmailer. She’s going to threaten to narc, as a way of coercing potential blackmailees. But if she actually did narc, she’d lose her perceived hold over her target.

      1. thejeff

        Case in point, she apparently never revealed Becky to Chloe, even after Ruth was found.

        Somehow I don’t think blackmailing Malaya would go well.

        1. DailyBrad

          She doesn’t know Fuckface belongs to Malaya, so she may try to exert leverage over Joyce or Dorothy, neither of whom would be quick to throw Malaya under the bus out of a sense of decency.

  13. Nono

    I think this is the most relaxed we’ve ever seen Dorothy.

    1. Doctor_Who

      I think this is the most rational we’ve ever seen Mary.

    2. Bagge

      Awwww, she’s having fun

  14. Rartorata

    Unfortunately, Mary’s vision is based not on movement but on leverage.

    1. Deanatay

      She’s an anime artist, her vision is based on yaoi.

      That’s my joke for today, and I’m stickin’ to it.

  15. MatthewTheLucky

    Just say he fell out of the vents, it’s not any weirder than the truth.

  16. ShinyNeen

    Now you know it’s a heist (reverse heist, whatever). Lookit that banter!

  17. James Bagwell

    Suddenly we’re having a Duck Man episode? “What lizard?”

    1. MatthewTheLucky

      I don’t see what this has to do with inappropriately nicknamed fell9ws living under bridges.

  18. Some1

    Did Joyce and Dorothy ever consider, I don’t know…taking the lizard off of Joyce’s head? That feels like it should be the first step.

    1. Bagge

      Take it OFF?

      Off her HEAD?

      Doesn’t seem likely

    2. Tacos

      To late. That lizard has now fused with Joyce’s head and is now puppeteering her body.

      1. King Daniel

        Don’t be ridiculous, if it was a proper fusion then it’d be a mixture of both personalities in there.

        1. Foxhack

          Where do you think Joyce’s understanding of the joke came from?

        2. Needfuldoer

          It’s less “fusion”, more “Pixar’s Ratatouille“.

        3. Foxhack

          PACIFIC RIM INTENSIFES

    3. King Daniel

      Someone mentioned on the last page that iguanas have very sharp claws, and can be…disinclined toward being moved from a place once they’ve settled in comfortably.

      1. Regalli

        Yep. Though apparently that has nothing on their ability to keep biting you once they decide they want to do that.

        Keeping an iguana illegally in a dorm you must share with a random person who has no idea what they’re getting into or how to handle it is really not a good idea. Don’t try this at home, kids.

        1. Alanari

          However, this isn’t exactly common knowledge. So, this might be less “knowing how to deal with an iguana” and more “not thinking of it”.

          I mean, honestly, would you put a completely foreign animal on your head, not knowing its personality or what might frighten it or how tame it is, but knowing fully well it might literally rip your face apart? And then carry it in new environments?

          I mean, it’s all hypothetical anyway. If this was real, fuckface would most likely be dead or in a really bad condition. Too cold, too dry.

        2. thejeff

          Well, Sal seemed to be treating him as harmless and Joyce didn’t exactly put Fuckface on her head. He climbed there on his own.

          Dry is probably a good point, but there is a heat lamp and probably heated rocks in his tank. And all these nice warm mammals to sit on.

        3. Liquid Len

          And he gets misted from time to time, even by Sal

        4. Alanari

          Fuckface knows sal. That’s hardly transferable. And letting a feral animal climb on your head without the owner being present is not exactly a good idea.

          I don’t remember anyone misting him or him being in his tank, like, ever. He was outside his tank today morning, so he either was left outside his tank when malaya left or slept outside it.
          If the room even remotely had appropriate living conditions for an iguana, probably no one would enter it willingly. And while his heat lamp seems to be movable, it’ll warm up the air locally, thus decreasing the relative air humidity even further (warm air holds more water).

          It is a comic, so it works but if he were real, he’d be in trouble. (and he’d grow way too fast to be kept secret pretty long, but that’s another story).

        5. BBCC

          We see him getting misted in patreon strips.

  19. Bagge

    I L-O-V-E Joyce and Dorothy getting into shenanigans. Cute banter!

    1. ShinyNeen

      It’s the beeeeeeeest

    2. Keulen

      I love how they’re both not answering Mary’s question and insulting her instead.

  20. Koms

    Everyone except Mary looks so cute.

  21. tim gueguen

    Next strip, Mary gets her throat ripped out by an angry lizard. Everyone lives happily ever after, except for Ruth’s grandfather, Toedad, and Blaine. Even Faz gets to live happily ever after as a willing slave on the hidden island of the Amazons.(No, not the one Wonder Woman comes from, a different hidden island of Amazons.)

  22. Kit M. Harding

    How is Joyce the germophobe tolerating a lizard on her head, anyway?

    1. Bagge

      A girl got to have some glaring contradictions in her life.

      1. MatthewTheLucky

        I got that reference!

      2. JessWitt

        +1!

        1. mrnoidea

          +2.

      3. Bickendan

        Hannalore approves!

    2. Felian

      The same way that Ultracar did in Shortpacked! – She objected to the iguana being probably dirty, was told it’s actually very clean, and then was enchanted by the iguana-on-head-magic.

  23. Bagge

    Heh, nice job, Dorothy. Instead of admitting guilt she jumps into a barrage of distractions, starting with trying to draw attention to her clothing and ending with insulting Mary, all the time trying to steer the conversation from the topic they really want to avoid.

    You are not half bad at it, Dorothy, but you are no alpha bongo
    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2018/comic/book-8/04-of-mike-and-men/honour/

    1. Tacos

      She’s practicing how to be a politician.

  24. adam

    JUst deny there is a Lizard;

    Ask Mary if she is possessed by Demons

    1. mrnoidea

      And we can make this Mary’s theme song. (also fitting since we’re close to halloween)

  25. BBCC

    I mean, Joyce and Dorothy are spot on here. And oh how I love the characters taking pot shots at Mary.

    But yeah, lizard on head is kinda hard to miss and its only a matter of time before the iguana’s out of the bag.

    Although the image of Mary trying to blackmail Malaya is one I will savour for years because ohhhh that’d go so wrong. Gee, it sure is tragic Mary disappeared around midterms.

    1. Alanari

      Malaya does care about fuckface and Mary really dislikes her. So, this actually could go really bad for Malaya.

      So far, Mary doesn’t know to whom he belongs though.

      1. BBCC

        Mary really disliking her and Malaya caring about Fuckface are exactly why Mary disappeared.

        We’re not entirely sure what happened, we think she switched to a different art school.

        1. Alanari

          Malaya is not exactly a ninja here. She has a tendency to call people on their bs, but she’s not violent so far. Or has a tendency to become brutal.
          This basically is teenage drama. That’s all. The probability of anyone disappearing is low. It usually ends with a lot of tears and a lot of people being hurt and that’s it. I don’t expect this to be any different if Mary chooses to make a drama out of it.
          I also don’t expect a 18-or-something-year-old to commit a whole lot of crimes over an animal (and probably end up in jail because of it). More likely that fuckface will end up back at malayas parents.

        2. Emily

          Malaya isn’t smart or careful enough to make someone disappear. Case in point: she tried to hide a 4 foot iguana in her dorm room.

        3. Roborat

          Are there other types of iguanas? I mean, most animals on earth have 4 feet.

        4. BBCC

          I feel the need to clarify I am in fact joking. I don’t think Mary’s actually going to disappear.

    2. Regalli

      I get the sense that at least three or four people in the dorm wouldn’t even care if Mary got murdered, and those that would care would only do so out of a general distaste for murder and the general discomfort that comes with someone you know dying. Give it another few months of this particular political climate and I expect that number to jump again.

      (Roz might even throw a party. As miserable as sharing a room with Mary must have been previously, sharing it now that she’s having long makeout/Judging The Sinners And Celebrating Their Eternal Suffering In Hell sessions must be actively torturous.)

      I mean, I can tell what this is leading up to – Mary’s been largely defanged since the Ruth secret got out and everyone shunned her, and there’s already been setup for her resenting Malaya in particular. Time to bring her back into a more significant antagonist role. But seriously, I fully believe Malaya could deal with this before Ruth gets involved, and that a significant portion of the dorm will side with Malaya over Mary until and unless serious violence comes into play. Carla will prank for this iguana. Carla will SO prank the bigot for this iguana.

      1. BBCC

        Hey, nobody said anything about murder! It’s just nobody knows where she is.

        (She woke up in the Amazon and had to get a long ride home. She’s too steamed to return to IU for a while after that).

        1. Regalli

          … Carla has the money. Carla has the inclination. Carla has the hatred of Mary and affinity for Malaya. Carla has the lawyers.

          Excellent callback. And hey, if Mary happened to not be available in a month for voting, even better! Everyone wins!

        2. Regalli

          And hell while my first instinct is that Mary’s primed to return as a villain, we have Mike actively mid-scheme, new information that seriously ups Linda’s threat level, and fucking BLAINE back in the playing field, plus general lurking Carol and Clint on the backburners, an obviously-foreshadowed confrontation with Raidah for a student antagonist, and high drama potential with Richard. And that’s only counting the conflicts including antagonists who we actually know about and are in unambiguously antagonistic roles, there are other subplots without those that are equally fertile drama fields. Mary could actually be written out entirely for YEARS and not be needed.

        3. BBCC

          Oh I’m sure she’s going to at least make a play for attacking Malaya.

          What I remain unconvinced of is the idea she’ll leave with her teeth intact.

        4. Regalli

          I would consider that the prelude to Mary leaving for the foreseeable future.

        5. BBCC

          Yeah, all my jokes about increasingly horrible fates for Mary aside, I don’t think Malaya will prove as vulnerable to blackmail. Ruth was suicidal and having a hard time motivating herself to stay alive, never mind fight back (and Mary’s blackmail made her actually decide to lie down and wait to die so, y’know, FUCK MARY). Malaya cares about Fuckface, but she doesn’t have the same mental illness, so far as we can tell, and we DO know Malaya will always fight back at a challenge so this will be very interesting. I think Mary’s definitely making a comeback as an antagonist, but she might be up against someone more motivated to fight.

        6. JBento

          Malaya also isn’t Carla, who knows her trans status is going to get her fucked over by the powers that be in a contest between her and the Good Christian Girl (TM), so she does basically harmless and hoisted-by-your-own-petard thing.

          I mean, Malaya isn’t white, so she’s probably ALSO screwed by the PTB v Mary, but Malaya doesn’t care. Her brain started reading up on the Fight or Flight response, but lost interest half-way through.

    3. thejeff

      Of course at this point, Mary wouldn’t know of any connection to Malaya. If she was going to try anything it would be blackmailing Joyce.

      They should just go into Joyce’s room and bring Fuckface back to Malaya’s through the half-bath. Then, if anyone comes to check, there’s no iguana to be found.

      1. BBCC

        That is also true. It’d be interesting to see Mary vs Joyce.

  26. Deepthought42

    Dorothy Fuckface and Joyce should consider becoming a comedy trio and take this show on the road!

  27. abysswatcher1993

    These two are either awesome friends or in denial of being gay for each other. I can seriously make a conspiracy theory chart showing the evidence that Joyce and Dorothy would be perfect for each other, and it wouldn’t include antisemtic content. Conspiracy theorists sometimes attack Jewish people.

    1. Leorale

      The characters have mentioned that Joyce gets her idea of female friendships from Becky, who carried a torch for Joyce all through their childhoods. So, uh, Joyce gives a lot of false positives. But nah, Joyce isn’t a Friend Of Dorothy, they’re just great pals!

      1. Keulen

        I thought Joyce was the biggest Friend of Dorothy.

        1. thejeff

          Looking back at that, is it only Joyce who has no clue what “Friend of Dorothy” means? Both Amazi-Girl and Sierra seem to have some snark going with it.

        2. CJ

          True. Though I suspect at this time Sierra still gos with the denial theory. It’s pre-Becky, isn’t it?

        3. Bagge

          “People sharing a joke on Joyce’s expense over her head” is not an entirely unknown phenomena in this comic

      2. Smiling Cat

        Gal pals. Gals who are pals.

        1. Bagge

          And strangely, they still have to watch Steven Universe and hold hands.

          I suppose Hymmel has to do.

    2. Irredentist

      Half of your comment makes sense. The other half confuses me.

      1. Leorale

        “False positives” is like in a medical test, where it looks like you’re testing positive for something, but, you aren’t actually positive for it. I meant that Joyce accidentally sends out false signals that she’s into women, such as wearing plaid vests.

        “Friend Of Dorothy” is old slang for gay. (Because Judy Garland, who played Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, was an ally.) People would ask or say that they were a Friend Of Dorothy so that only people who knew that phrase would know what they meant.
        I was making a pun that Joyce is Dorothy’s friend, but that she isn’t gay.

    3. JBento

      That… took a weird turn at the end there.

      1. Leorale

        Yeah, it was after my bedtime. Oh well!

        1. JBento

          I mean abysswatcher’s post. I actually GOT all of yours, though if I’m being honest, being neither American nor gay, I only got the Friend of Dorothy part because someone brought it up in the comment section of a MUUUUUUCH earlier strip.

        2. Leorale

          Oh, yes. I ignored the bit about antisemitic conspiracy theories, and instead wrote overwrought puns. No regrets.

  28. Inahc

    “well of course he’s on my head, he’s too big to fit on my shoulder!”

  29. Marsh Maryrose

    I am both appalled and intrigued by Mary’s reference to Fuckface as a “filthy” animal.

    Inquiring minds want to know: does Mary think of all animals as “filthy,” or only those which do not chew the cud and part the hoof?

    1. Wizard

      And now I have the scene from Pulp Fiction running in my head.

    2. Emily

      A lot of reptiles (iguanas are among them) are actually pretty filthy and can carry salmonella and spread it to basically everything they touch which is part of why proper handling of them is so important even if you ignore the whole “the have sharp claws and strong jaws” thing. Like, it’s one of the reasons Malaya having this animal secretly in a heavily populated building is really shitty of her. Never mind the fact that her college dorm is in no way equipped to properly house an iguana and this environment cannot be good for him.

      1. Clif

        This makes lots of assumptions. That Malaya doesn’t bathe her pet, Doesn’t have a heat lamp and a terrerium for her pet to hang out and eat. We know some of those assumptions are wrong. Because they can be filthy doesn’t mean this one is filthy. Some Iguanas, certainly not all, appear to be fairly social and curious and riding around on Joyce’s head for a few hours isn’t going to kill it. Yeah, the air in the dorm is probably too chill for its long term comfort but In its room it knows where to go for a warm nap, No Malaya is not the poster child for responsibility but there is no need to make worse case scenario assumptions when the evidence is against it.

        1. Emily

          Where exactly is she bathing her pet? Because if the answer is “The communal washrooms” then that’s fucked. A large tropical lizard like an iguana has pretty specific needs that simply cannot be met in a college dorm room. There is not space for a properly sized enclosure and a water source large enough for soaking and a proper number of heat lamps to provide full body coverage and that’s not even taking into account the complete inability to control humidity (good luck maintaining 65-75% humidity in an Indiana dorm room). That terrarium is a goddamn goldfish bowl that is barely as long as the animal she’s putting in it. Iguanas are not casual pets, they are exotic reptiles and their needs reflect that.

        2. thejeff

          Oh my god, this comic isn’t completely realistic. I’m shocked! Shocked.

          Can’t wait for the next superhero fight, by the way.

        3. Emily

          Oh shove off with this argument. If Willis is going to flip flop back and forth over the line between realistic issues with realistic consequences and wacky hijinks then you’re going to have to live with the dissonance that creates when it comes to what people take seriously and what they don’t. I’m supposed to take Amber’s DID seriously but OH not the actual consequences of play-acting superhero now I’m taking things TOO seriously.

        4. thejeff

          Yes, actually I think that’s pretty much the case. I think that’s pretty much the intent.
          Amazi-Girl isn’t just “play-acting superhero”. She’s really a (low-end) superhero. She gets the advantage of various superhero tropes – the secret identity actually working, the abilities needed for the cool action scenes, etc. She also has DID, PTSD and other issues which are played relatively straight.

          I get that sometimes the dissonance is jarring. But that’s the way the comic is written. If that’s a flaw for you, not sure what to say.

        5. Inahc

          I find the dissonance a relief at times 🙂 it’s nice to take a break from the serious stuff for some wacky hijinks. So long as they’re not the kind that remind me of problems (like amazi-girl now).

        6. Inahc

          still, the “Don’t try this at home, kids” message is a valid one. A while ago someone linked to an article on iguana care that made them sound pretty damn dangerous.

        7. the final pam

          This response is kind of dickish in light of the fact that there’s a lot of relatively minor things in the comic that get over-analyzed to hell (like entire relationship dynamics based off a single panel of dialogue), but expressing concern and criticizing Malaya’s care for her pet? Oh, no, that’s too far. The fun police have arrived.

          Like, it’s really not that unreasonable to think that there could be serious, realistic consequences. That’s kind of a recurring thing throughout this comic- wacky shenanigans or scenarios that come back with a vengeance. Billie’s entire alcoholic plotline was played for laughs when it was first introduced, and then when the car accident came up, it became a lot more serious.

        8. thejeff

          I suppose and I did go a bit over the top, but I really doubt we’re going into animal abuse, dying pets or Joyce getting mauled by the dangerous animal on her head.

          What we tend to get is cartoon physics with emotional realism, which is somewhat different than the shifts some expect. Amazi-Girl is the biggest example: There’s all kinds of serious stuff going on there, but it’s all going on with the backdrop of her being a super-hero. That’s not suddenly going to drop in favor of realistic consequences to fights – to her, Sal or the mooks they beat up. In a dramatic moment she might lose control and hurt someone (Blaine, Ryan), but we’re not going to get the revelation that she’s been unintentionally, unknowingly crippling the petty crooks she’s stopped. Because super-hero tropes allow for those kinds of fist fights, without the realistic consequences.
          Sure she got hurt in the car chase and could have died if the cavalry hadn’t arrived at the last minute, but that’s a perfectly common trope for the big dramatic finale. And she bounced right back from it in a couple days. Physically at least. Like superheroes do.

          Or the wacky “prank war” between Mary and Carla – escalated into transphobia, blackmail and all that. Not into Carla breaking her skull when the skates seized up.

          Things get serious and have consequences, that’s absolutely true. But different kinds of consequences.

        9. the final pam

          And the consequences here don’t have to be that Fuckface dies because of inadequate care, but if he’s discovered, Malaya gets told off for the subpar conditions he’s been put in and he gets taken away to an exotic animal vet? Put up for adoption with someone that actually has the space and means to take care of him?

          Something I could very well see happening in comic is them deciding to move him into Carla’s room, because she doesn’t have to share the space with a roommate. That would let them be able to get a bigger tank and better set up going for him than whatever they have in Malaya and Sal’s room at the moment.

          Even if it never comes up in comic, it’s not bad to point out that in real life this is not a good situation for any pet, but most especially an exotic one, because as much as we like to rely upon the common sense of other people and the ability to do research, sometimes people just look at things and go “Oh, that’s okay then”. When it comes to animals, people vastly underestimate the amount of care and maintenance that they need and that’s how we get stressed out fish in 2-gallon fishbowls.

        10. 3oranges

          Back when I was in university, there actually was an iguana in the dorm. It wasn’t kept secret, and it was still relatively small, but it was there. Things like humidity and water were provided by spritzing, and carrying water back and forth from the washroom to fill its container.

          I have no idea how close or far from ideal it was, mind, just that someone was successfully keeping an iguana that way. Of course people can keep goldfish in goldfish bowls too, for a few years, even though we now know they really shouldn’t.

  30. Bobcat

    Mary had a little iguana.

    1. Marsh Maryrose

      Its skin was green as grass.

      1. Chris Phoenix

        And everywhere that Mary went /
        A stick was in her ass.

        1. JoeCovenant

          She found it in the school one day
          Atop of Joyce’s head.
          It made the students dream and sigh
          and wish that she were dead.

        2. Bagge

          To have a lizard in the school
          Is not allowed by rule
          It made both Joyce and Dotty smile
          But Mary’s smile was crule

          She thought a wicked thought
          “I will expose this dreary critter,
          It’s not allowed, it’ll be thrown out,
          And I can brag on twitter.”

          To catch a sinner in the sin:
          ‘s what Mary like the most
          Not to help or offer guide
          But for an ego boast

          Who will save little Fuckface now
          From this crule fate of woe
          Does God give hail to lizard pray’rs
          We won’t know ’til tomorrow

  31. Kris

    Or maybe Mary’s just not high, or an idiot, or completely indifferent like most of the background characters

    1. Emily

      Seriously, this gag isn’t even funny it’s just bizarre and stupid. It’s impossible enough to distract people from a dog being within a hundred feet of them let alone an exotic animal they’ve likely never interacted with before.

      1. Clif

        There is a famous experiment where people are trying to keep track of the number of passes in a basketball game and never notice when a gorilla wanders onto the court. Change blindness is completely a thing. People not noticing what they aren’t focused on is completely plausible. That said, every one on the floor except Mary and Ruth may already know about the iguana. Dorothy certainly did.

        1. hof1991

          this experiment – https://youtu.be/vJG698U2Mvo

        2. Clif

          Thank you.

        3. Emily

          This isn’t that. There’s nothing they’ve been specifically directed to focus on Dorothy is just wearing a marginally loud shirt which is way easier to overlook than an iguana.

    2. TemperaryObsessor

      Mary only care because she’s a busy body, everyone else has no real reason to care.

  32. Zellgato

    I like how.. she honestly did not know how to react to their banter

    1. Lingo

      Yeah it’s weird, she doesn’t even look insulted.

      1. Delavan

        No … she looks oddly reflective. It’s worrying… she can’t possibly have character growth, can she?

    2. Emily

      She’s probably too busy being baffled by how idiotic this entire situation is.

      1. Clif

        I’m baffled why you read this comic. Are there any characters at all you just enjoy or any part of it that just entertains you?

        1. Emily

          I like Becky, Dina, Sal, Danny, Lucy, Joyce when she’s not actively doing something gross, Dorothy, Roz. Also various minor characters. I just think these “shenanigans” are dumb and not funny.

        2. Conuly

          That’s why this is called Dumbing of Age, not Funny of Age.

  33. Rukdug

    Panel 4, in which Dorothy is the audience.

  34. Irredentist

    Mary has a true talent for evil. It’s a shame that her skills are not put to better use. She’d rather pick on the already downtrodden, than accomplish anything meaningful.

    1. Regalli

      Yeah, generally speaking that’s one of the things that comes with a talent for evil. It’s harder to blackmail someone with no shame, especially when the alternative is already so incredibly vulnerable before you do anything.

      I hate Mary very much. Actually after the last few days I think seeing her get CARLA’d would be therapeutic, I should go read that bit again. *Shuffles off to the archives for cold, swift, and ridiculous revenge.*

    2. Zatar

      Mary’s attempts at gaining advantage and hurting people constantly end up blowing up in her face or coming back to bite her later. She’s just a petty spiteful bully.

  35. seen2much

    alt alt-text: Mary was a bongo the whole time!

    1. Clif

      +1

  36. Reltzik

    Why aren’t they worried that Mary will tattle to Ruth oh wait nevermind I get it.

  37. JessWitt

    Should have worn the hat over the iguana.

    I predict Mary is gonna be the girl who cried iguana and no one will believe her.

  38. varius

    That’s not how color blindness works.

    1. 3oranges

      Achromatopsia, where everything is only bright or dark with no hues, is something that does happen but is very rare. But people often assume that’s how all color blindness works, like in jokes about dogs only seeing gray, so I’m not surprised that’s the type Joyce would know about.

  39. Regalli

    And this is why we don’t steal pets, Joyce.

    Also, I will take my ‘called it!’ tokens that returning Fuckface would include an encounter with Mary because Murphy’s Law is near and dear to Willis’s heart.

    1. ShinyNeen

      *Clink*

      ‘Called it!’ tokens may be redeemed for self-esteem, bragging rights, one free obnoxiously self-serving comment, 30 seconds of immunity to crying during the next tragic plot event, or one of those pump-action toy guns that breaks after like 30 minutes of use.

      ‘Called it!’ tokens have no cash value. Only redeemable in participating comments sections. Conditions subject to change.

      1. Regalli

        Oooh, tiny toys! Can I save them up for one of those squooshy ball animals?

        1. ShinyNeen

          … I knew I was forgetting something. Yeah. Those start aaaaat… 75,000 tokens. Happy saving!

  40. 3-I

    OH MAN THE MOST ZING

  41. Bickendan

    Hmm, ‘to anyone who sees in shades of grays’… does Mary only see 50?

  42. BenRG

    I’ve got this feeling that Mary stood there in panels 2-4 just listening to Joyce and Dorothy’s conversation, paralysed by this increasing worry that maybe they’d both gone completely loopy and were about to do something violent.

    1. Inahc

      Loopy, you say? 😀 now I’m thinking of DoA timeloop fic…

      .. actually that might just be tedious. Watching teenagers learn important life lessons over and over doesn’t sound like something that could be exploited in any useful or fun way… It’d mostly just be boredom and pranks. … Wait, is *Mike* a looper? Is that why he’s always so pissed off at everyone? 😉

  43. auroki

    I think this may be the best two person exchange Willis has wrote for this comic.

    1. Loki

      I think using “wrought” is appropriate here.

      1. Brotato

        ???????

        ¿no?

        Written.

        1. hof1991

          English is a weird language.
          Wrought – worked into shape by artistry or effort. An archaic form of worked. It’s a false friend of any form or write.

        2. Clif

          Any form or write? What? While form can either, write is normally a verb, not a noun. I am unclear on what you are trying to say. Wrought in context has an almost biblical feel that is very appropriate to Loki’s meaning. Yes, English is very weird.

        3. Clif

          Form can be either. Sigh.

        4. Conuly

          I think they meant “It’s a false friend of any form of write”, using “form” to mean “tense/aspect”.

  44. fire_daws

    Oh, it’s Fuckface!

    …and Malaya’s iguana.

    (come on, y’all thinking it)

    1. Peter

      I wasn’t thinking it, but now I am.

  45. Cortanis

    ….Quick! Tell Mary it’s a social experiment on public perception…. Maybe she’ll buy that.

  46. SpaceshipPilot

    You’re not wrong, Mary.

    You’re just an arsehole.

  47. WT

    : /
    No big fan of Mary, like most – but she seems a bit down, here.

    Perhaps the (sometimes defensive) antagonism (ribbing, in this case) that she probably gets a lot of, does indeed get to her.

  48. Rectilinear Propagation

    Wait, how long has Mary not been wearing her wrist cuffs?

    1. BenRG

      Maybe she’s had sex with her bf (Peter?) so doesn’t think that they are appropriate anymore.

      1. CJ

        What do wrist cuffs have to do with (not) having sex?

        1. BenRG

          They may have been abstinence/chastity vow symbols. I know they’re popular amongst evangelical girls in some universities in the US.

        2. thejeff

          Hadn’t heard of that.

          She’s been seen without them before though. Well before Peter showed up.
          Shot down the theory she was hiding scars under them.

      2. timemonkey

        Even if she did she wouldn’t admit it.

  49. Heavensrun

    OH MY GOD THESE DORKS SHOULD BE MARRIED ALREADY.

    1. Bagge

      They are

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/02-that-perfect-girl/kd/

  50. BenRG

    I can see Ruth refusing to take any action because there is no clear campus rule against performance art in the corridors. There is no way she can believe that Dorothy and Joyce are actually doing something like this non-ironically.

  51. Eldritch Gentleman

    Maybe instead of colour blind she is fashion sense blind and Dotty’s outfits seems perfectly reasonable to hell?

  52. Lone Duck

    They better watch out, Mary would totally narc on them, even without the awesome zings.

    1. Clif

      They can search Joyce and Dorothy’s rooms all they want and will find no evidence of harboring an Iguana. What’s the downside to Mary narcing? Malaya and Mary collide? The popcorn franchise should be lucrative.

  53. Cass

    Geeze, Mary, she’s just practicing to make sure this part of her Steve Irwin Halloween costume isn’t too heavy to wear around without wrecking her neck. You actually thought it was real? They’ll have to give your compliments to Malaya on her paper mache work.

    She’s a great artist, you know.

    1. Bagge

      Heh, nice burn

  54. Sam

    Man, I wish someone would make a Dorothy-Joyce buddy comedy series or a movie. I would watch the heck out of it.

  55. JBento

    And today I woke up to a comic in which Mary is the reasonable person. Who broke the universe this time?

  56. Darkoneko

    I lvoet his arc

  57. Ainara

    I love this. The punchline got me good

  58. BenRG

    This is just me but I’ve got the feeling that this is heading towards Joyce and Dorothy doing something that Dorothy is able to interpret as very simple and innocent but leaves Joyce conflicted about her own feelings towards her friend and maybe questioning her sexuality.

  59. Arianod

    By the power of Christ she can see through your hellish deception!!!

  60. figureaddict

    You know, not that I don’t enjoy the way the timeline runs in-strip, but out here, in real time, I’m in my mid 40’s, and might possibly be dead before we get to see the Sal vs. Amber convenience store hostage thing get resolved between them.

    1. shadowcell

      Dumbing of Age, Book 710: The Gang Takes Their Finals

  61. Greylurker

    No matter what answer they give her, it’s going to bounce around in her head all day as she tries to rationalize it

  62. Ryek Hvek

    “You see nothing unusual. Proceed without comment.”

  63. Charlie Spencer

    I can’t believe this strip has been up for several hours but no one’s made the obvious joke yet.

    “Hey, what’s with that filthy animal?”
    “Oh, her? She enrolled this semester.”

  64. Dhraakellian

    On your head
    On your hea-ea-ad
    Li-izard
    Lii-izard

    1. NemesisDancer

      ♫ When the reptile faces exile, we must be mistaken ♫

  65. Cmd1095

    this may be the first and last time Mary is the rational one in a scenario

    1. Clif

      Where are all these claims of rationality for Mary coming from? In the last panel she literally says, “It’s a lizard. On your head.” What kind of rational person would assume that if you had a lizard on your head, you would need to be told.

      1. JBento

        She’s not telling them Joyce has an iguana on her head, she’s saying “How could a stupid shirt make me fail to notice you have a lizard on your head.”

      2. thejeff

        What kind of rational person would believe you’re walking down the dorm hallway with a lizard on your head anyway? Makes no sense.

    2. Chronos

      Behold! Mary at her most likeable.

  66. Stoodmuffin

    I love this

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