I asked Google “thing to do that’s not getting drunk or getting laid”, and got an entire page full of “get drunk and get laid”, “get laid without getting drunk”, and “smoke weed”. So filtering out the things that obviously violate the search parameters, it seems they need to find Meredith.
I am nostalgic of the not-too-predictive Google of the early 2000’s where you could search something and actually get an answer that respected the search.
SO, the bright side of the direction Google is going is that it will probably at some point in the near future have ingested enough of the new stuff to realize you actually want something NOT getting drunk or laid.
The dark side of that is that 20% (or worse) of the time it seems likely to respond to that by…making something up that doesn’t actually exist?
SO inspired by this, I signed into Google Bard and asked it. After getting past really generic answers, I managed to find a page with even more generic answers, including suggesting they play Exquisite Corpse.
Honestly, I think kareoke is a better idea.
Some Ed
I’m not convinced of this. There is enough toxic crap on the Internet, I think Google’s AI is forever learning more thoroughly that when you ask for “thing to do that’s not getting drunk or getting laid”, you really want to do both.
On the bright side this means that Google is forever making itself less relevant. On the dark side, so are all of their competitors. Yay blindly following market leaders into dark holes.
Needfuldoer
Yeah, remember when putting -“thing” made it exclude results for ‘thing’?
Pivoting search engines from “find information” to “provide answers” was a mistake that only lead to enshittification.
Google isn’t really smart enough to understand that you want results that do NOT have certain text. You might want “fun things to do while sober” or something like that.
FlamestAndLight
it USED to be. But now it’s all AI’d out. I hate the modern internet T_T
Okay, but that’s not how to google. What you want to type in is “fun things to do -sex -drunk” (which searches for fun things to do, excluding sex and excluding drunk).
Some of the highlights: learn knitting, visit a local animal shelter, look for free local concerts, board games/puzzles, get a massage, yoga/meditation, bowling, indoor rock climbing, painting/pottery/art generally, and also lots of outdoor activities that would not be appropriate for January but I give passing mention to nonetheless.
Mark
+1, you need to know how Google expresses Booleans.
khn0
I assure you I know and use booleans while making requests… but sometimes (most of time) google doesn’t give a fuck and just want to sell me gazoline barbecue grills when I’m trying to verify a whole “+” -“” quote (what somehow is comforting knowing I’m a vegetarian).
You need to have some constricting elements in your search. In advanced search, you put ‘drunk’ and ‘laid’ in the negative search prompt, while you put in the normal search “things to do locally”. This will get you to weed, yeah, but there will be other stuff.
When done properly even in the absence of alcohol karaoke involves lowering your inhibitions and baring you emotions and soul. While singing off key and out of tune.
I’ve found that off-rhythm is appallingly easy, though.
Even if you think you know a song, knowing the song at the exact tempo and rhythm used in a particular recording can be challenging, particularly since kareoke drops out the original vocals so to use the rest as a cue you need to know the background track well enough to know when to come in.
Needfuldoer
I don’t have a problem with timing, unless it’s a particularly wonky cover. My problem is my normal register sounds like Darius Rucker with a head cold, but my music tastes lean toward prog rock where all the vocalists sound like Peter Cetera and Tommy Shaw. I’ve tried doing whatever it is Geddy Lee does, but then all concept of staying on-key goes out the window.
My hair-trigger self-consciousness doesn’t help either. Can’t stand to hear my own voice, I always feel like I sound like I’m doing a ‘mentally challenged’ stereotype.
Mark
You’re not singing it wrong; the band is playing it wrong.
Bicycle Bill
Ditto …
— Bill, a former barbershop bass
Some Ed
Maybe I could fill in for you? Prior to puberty, I always got straight As in music class. After puberty started, enough people heard me sing that I’ve never been invited to Karaoke. In fact, my mere approaching a group that’s been known to enjoy Karaoke has resulted in them immediately claiming that they weren’t talking about doing Karaoke, and then later on when talking about the weekend admitted, “We were going to do Karaoke, but then Ed walked by and we panicked.”
To be clear on this point, none of the people in several of those groups ever heard me sing. They merely went to school with some people who had. I’m not sure how many connections between them and those people there were. It’s also possible they just heard my speaking voice and assumed I’d be really bad at Karaoke.
Sometimes when you rule out your top choices, your brain just scrambles for something.
Recently had an eval where at one point I was asked to list types of animals, and “wallaby” was, like, fifth on my list, which is so much higher than I would have thought it would be.
are there any karaoke bars near campus? tho i suppose an impromptu karaoke night in their dorm would make all those ‘fangirls’ flock to jen again
i mean asians liking karaoke is a thing (is asian so i can say that lol), but i think sal and danny have sung outside together so their faces pop into my head more so
I live in Taiwan so I can confirm that a lot of Asians like karaoke too much. The dumbest one they have here at some places is the karaoke booth. It’s like a telephone booth but you sing karaoke. By yourself. And it has glass like a telephone booth so everybody walking by can watch you making a fool of yourself. I have never had the urge to try it.
Do you ever get mad when you read something, move on to your next task, then get interrupted by understanding what you just read?
Reltzik
My cycle is more “get mad when I read something, move on, get interrupted by the realization that there’s a potential pun in it, and have to go back to inflict it on everyone else so it doesn’t live in my brain for the next week”.
SHARING IS CARING OKAY?
Schpoonman
You monster.
justin8448
Thank you for prompting me to re-read. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but the result was satisfactory.
Because she’s in a position of authority. There are times in her job when she’s basically required to open a dorm room door (sometimes even her own) in front of dorm authorities. Picking a lock would look rather bad in that situation, especially when they gave her a key that works on all the doors on her floor.
220 thoughts on “Tailing”
Ana Chronistic
*out of curiosity, searches “fun things to do” to see if that would help*
1. [City] Outdoor Pool
…maybe not
John Campbell
I asked Google “thing to do that’s not getting drunk or getting laid”, and got an entire page full of “get drunk and get laid”, “get laid without getting drunk”, and “smoke weed”. So filtering out the things that obviously violate the search parameters, it seems they need to find Meredith.
Reltzik
Given that “weed” was actually Jennifer’s first plan before “karaoke”, it’s probably an even worse plan.
khn0
I am nostalgic of the not-too-predictive Google of the early 2000’s where you could search something and actually get an answer that respected the search.
StClair
Me too. 🙁
mneme
SO, the bright side of the direction Google is going is that it will probably at some point in the near future have ingested enough of the new stuff to realize you actually want something NOT getting drunk or laid.
The dark side of that is that 20% (or worse) of the time it seems likely to respond to that by…making something up that doesn’t actually exist?
Not convinced that better.
mneme
SO inspired by this, I signed into Google Bard and asked it. After getting past really generic answers, I managed to find a page with even more generic answers, including suggesting they play Exquisite Corpse.
Honestly, I think kareoke is a better idea.
Some Ed
I’m not convinced of this. There is enough toxic crap on the Internet, I think Google’s AI is forever learning more thoroughly that when you ask for “thing to do that’s not getting drunk or getting laid”, you really want to do both.
On the bright side this means that Google is forever making itself less relevant. On the dark side, so are all of their competitors. Yay blindly following market leaders into dark holes.
Needfuldoer
Yeah, remember when putting -“thing” made it exclude results for ‘thing’?
Pivoting search engines from “find information” to “provide answers” was a mistake that only lead to enshittification.
Bash
Google isn’t really smart enough to understand that you want results that do NOT have certain text. You might want “fun things to do while sober” or something like that.
FlamestAndLight
it USED to be. But now it’s all AI’d out. I hate the modern internet T_T
khn0
The worse is people beginning to speak like AIs.
Tan
Okay, but that’s not how to google. What you want to type in is “fun things to do -sex -drunk” (which searches for fun things to do, excluding sex and excluding drunk).
Some of the highlights: learn knitting, visit a local animal shelter, look for free local concerts, board games/puzzles, get a massage, yoga/meditation, bowling, indoor rock climbing, painting/pottery/art generally, and also lots of outdoor activities that would not be appropriate for January but I give passing mention to nonetheless.
Mark
+1, you need to know how Google expresses Booleans.
khn0
I assure you I know and use booleans while making requests… but sometimes (most of time) google doesn’t give a fuck and just want to sell me gazoline barbecue grills when I’m trying to verify a whole “+” -“” quote (what somehow is comforting knowing I’m a vegetarian).
Ana Chronistic
I just said search
Fun fact: I use searches like “fun things to do -sex -drunk” and it will absolutely say “have sex” and “get drunk” bc what is even a minus sign
Firseal
You need to have some constricting elements in your search. In advanced search, you put ‘drunk’ and ‘laid’ in the negative search prompt, while you put in the normal search “things to do locally”. This will get you to weed, yeah, but there will be other stuff.
John Campbell
Jesus Christ, people, that was a joke, not a request for remedial Google lessons.
StClair
Yeah, but you asked a bunch of nerds, who are far more literal than Google is these days.
Clif
Welcome to the Internet.
Thag Simmons
Where’s the closest zoo?
Hazel
Petting zoo.
Thag Simmons
Still counts. I would also accept indoor reptile zoo that has like two restaurants worth of space in a plaza next to a fast food franchise.
clif
I choose to believe that Hazel referred to a heavy petting zoo.
Needfuldoer
Is that legal in Indiana?
Mark
According to the legislature, everything not compulsory is forbidden.
ValdVin
How about a
puttingpetting green?(h/t John Held, Jr.)
HueSatLight
without getting drunk?
quark
“dorothy jennifer and ruth have a sitcom b plot”
Schpoonman
Always Sunny theme or Curb Your Enthusiasm?
Needfuldoer
It’s Always Sunny in Bloomington.
RassilonTDavros
I honestly hope this isn’t just a gag. I wanna see the karaoke arc.
Vanessa
So do I! I think that sounds both fun and embarrassing for everyone involved — a good activity for Dorothy.
Imogen
Dorothy needs to do something she’s bad at just for fun. That’s what karaoke is all about!
David DeLaney
*the hacked muzak becomes an Ascended Meme*
RoyanRannedos
Desperado…
EpochFlame
these three have the powerpuff girls’ hair colors
RassilonTDavros
I would totally draw fanart of this and post it, if I had a half-decent scanner.
Maybe I could make do with quarter-decent?
cbwroses
Except Dorothy would be Blossom and Ruth would be Buttercup, but somehow Jennifer is Bubbles?
Oh no! The analogy is failing and I must bail!
C.T. Phipps
I am calling it now: Jennifer and Dorothy end up in bed together.
Dorothy thus realizes…she may be a 1 not a 0.
Rose by Any Other Name
*fingers crossed*
GoblinBagsSumo
If we’re really lucky, maybe it’ll be a 3-way.
NGPZ
She has a dream!
Schpoonman
Dorothy narrowed her eyes the most at karaoke and she is correct to do so.
How the hell did Jennifer get karaoke?
Proxiehunter
When done properly even in the absence of alcohol karaoke involves lowering your inhibitions and baring you emotions and soul. While singing off key and out of tune.
David DeLaney
i apologize deeply, but I would be totally unable to manage either “off-key” or “out of tune”
–Dave, barbershop baritone for about 4 decades now
mneme
I’ve found that off-rhythm is appallingly easy, though.
Even if you think you know a song, knowing the song at the exact tempo and rhythm used in a particular recording can be challenging, particularly since kareoke drops out the original vocals so to use the rest as a cue you need to know the background track well enough to know when to come in.
Needfuldoer
I don’t have a problem with timing, unless it’s a particularly wonky cover. My problem is my normal register sounds like Darius Rucker with a head cold, but my music tastes lean toward prog rock where all the vocalists sound like Peter Cetera and Tommy Shaw. I’ve tried doing whatever it is Geddy Lee does, but then all concept of staying on-key goes out the window.
My hair-trigger self-consciousness doesn’t help either. Can’t stand to hear my own voice, I always feel like I sound like I’m doing a ‘mentally challenged’ stereotype.
Mark
You’re not singing it wrong; the band is playing it wrong.
Bicycle Bill
Ditto …
— Bill, a former barbershop bass
Some Ed
Maybe I could fill in for you? Prior to puberty, I always got straight As in music class. After puberty started, enough people heard me sing that I’ve never been invited to Karaoke. In fact, my mere approaching a group that’s been known to enjoy Karaoke has resulted in them immediately claiming that they weren’t talking about doing Karaoke, and then later on when talking about the weekend admitted, “We were going to do Karaoke, but then Ed walked by and we panicked.”
To be clear on this point, none of the people in several of those groups ever heard me sing. They merely went to school with some people who had. I’m not sure how many connections between them and those people there were. It’s also possible they just heard my speaking voice and assumed I’d be really bad at Karaoke.
Yumi
Sometimes when you rule out your top choices, your brain just scrambles for something.
Recently had an eval where at one point I was asked to list types of animals, and “wallaby” was, like, fifth on my list, which is so much higher than I would have thought it would be.
Needfuldoer
Eval day is a very dangerous day.
Schpoonman
I haven’t thought of the word “wallaby” in years. Heh.
Wallaby.
anon
are there any karaoke bars near campus? tho i suppose an impromptu karaoke night in their dorm would make all those ‘fangirls’ flock to jen again
i mean asians liking karaoke is a thing (is asian so i can say that lol), but i think sal and danny have sung outside together so their faces pop into my head more so
Bicycle Bill
Anybody who willing plays a ukelele – especially a blue one – is sufficiently uninhibited enough to sing karaoke.
butting
For the record: the one I saw Johnny Marr play that time was black. He even pointed it out in case anyone hadn’t noticed.
Max
I live in Taiwan so I can confirm that a lot of Asians like karaoke too much. The dumbest one they have here at some places is the karaoke booth. It’s like a telephone booth but you sing karaoke. By yourself. And it has glass like a telephone booth so everybody walking by can watch you making a fool of yourself. I have never had the urge to try it.
Reltzik
I dunno. Ruth taught Jennifer how to pick locks a while back. I don’t know why she’d karaoke.
Yumi
Do you ever get mad when you read something, move on to your next task, then get interrupted by understanding what you just read?
Reltzik
My cycle is more “get mad when I read something, move on, get interrupted by the realization that there’s a potential pun in it, and have to go back to inflict it on everyone else so it doesn’t live in my brain for the next week”.
SHARING IS CARING OKAY?
Schpoonman
You monster.
justin8448
Thank you for prompting me to re-read. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but the result was satisfactory.
milu
marry me Reltzik
Some Ed
Because she’s in a position of authority. There are times in her job when she’s basically required to open a dorm room door (sometimes even her own) in front of dorm authorities. Picking a lock would look rather bad in that situation, especially when they gave her a key that works on all the doors on her floor.
milu
What
You
How
WHY
IM SO MAD AT YOU RN unless you made a real subtle pun in there in which case i am an insignficant wormy worm
Mturtle7
It took me like 5 minutes of sounding this out in my head before I got this one, so just to be clear: “karaoke” -> “carry a key”.
You’re welcome!
khn0
OK, I was vainly trying to make some sens out of it and failing miserably, so thanks for putting me out of misery.
Kyoulkoa
Someone can do karaoke sober
milu
Allegedly.
clif
Seems unlikely.
Thag Simmons