174

Ruin
Posted on August 16, 2014 by David M Willis

174 thoughts on “Ruin”

  1. An Average Loser

    Well, better than tears. I guess.

    1. LiaHansen

      Yeah no

    2. Camachri

      Don’t count it out yet. In times like these, tears, sweat and puke all tend to release around the same time.

      1. Robert

        Don’t forget farts, snot, mucous and the occasional burp and/or hiccups.

    3. Plasma Mongoose

      Tears are tastier. 😛

      1. Chris

        And they make good sweaters.

        1. Onion

          Eyelashes are better.

    4. Yotomoe

      As long as it’s not coming out of people’s eyes.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Where else do you think tears come from then??

        1. Yotomoe

          That’s not what I was referring to.

      2. Deanatay

        He means, “I’m not crying, I’m vomiting from my eyes.”

        1. Pink Freud

          Oh god, do NOT tempt me to fire up photoshop.

        2. Drunken Nordmann

          Isn’t vomit a bit too lumpy to exit the body via tear ducts?

        3. Vic

          not if you vomit your eyeballs out first

        4. Drunken Nordmann

          There’s no connection between tear ducts and eye sockets, as far as I know. And for there being suddenly a connection, it has to be some high-pressure vomiting.

  2. Yotomoe

    For a brief moment Billie was touching that vomit while it was touching those Mcnuggets.

    1. newllend

      On a technicality yes…so does that mean that if Billie and Ruth somehow did doing it what would happen to Ruth?

    2. newllend

      On a technicality yes…so does that mean that if Billie and Ruth somehow did doing it what would happen to Ruth?

    3. Gigafreak

      What I wanna know is where the vomit came from. Billie hasn’t eaten the solid portion of her lunch yet, and she only just woke up so she hasn’t had breakfast either. Yesterday’s dinner should be past the stomach by now.

      So I guess the inside of her beverage cup is a wormhole to a colossal reservoir of… green milkshake or something.

      1. Yotomoe

        It’s her pride.

        1. Thomas

          ^^ Aaaaand… the Internet Gold Star Award for Today’s Most Insightful Comment goes to Yotomoe! A bit early, but I think this can’t be topped anymore.

        2. airyu

          That’s a pretty fitting comment coming from Alice.

        3. Thomas

          Nah, I think Alice would argue that Billie didn’t have any pride left to swallow. Although the point is moot, now that all of it has been expelled.

        4. Drunken Nordmann

          She can still swallow it.

      2. Bob

        Everyone has a large amount of mucus and bile inside themselves, otherwise their stomachs would dissolve themselves. Even if one does not eat for 12 hours, a person can still produce a fair sized puke pile.

      3. Allcool-Dontcare

        Or she is prego with baby Ruth… Punsy McAle will be here all night folks

        1. Yotomoe

          Are you RED-y for my rhymes. Soon you’ll be GREEN as envious limes. I see you’re not YELLOW fellow, but I don’t wanna make you BLUE so get a CLUE and PURPULL THE PLUG BEFORE YOU PLAY, OR I’LL ARRANGE A RAINBOW ON YOUR PARADE.

        2. Farmer_10

          *applause* Masterfully done.

        3. Allcool-Dontcare

          And he’s ah rolling around the world with his grand tour unit stats of metrica,Stormalong and the Swedish of the Swedish sweets… Sweden and last but not least for those rock candied people in can he land (candy island) Punsy Mackale’s Swedish door (Sweetest Tour) tickets in a ticket master near you (at least I tried)

      4. Pink Freud

        You must not have known many alcoholics, which I’m assuming is the source of this sudden expulsion.

    4. Psyme

      Am I to be the first to point out that those were not “McNuggets,” but Chik-fil-A Nuggets?

      1. John

        Eh, it’s like kleenex or band-aids.

      2. maxyai

        If Walky truly is a connoisseur of nuggets, as we have been led to believe, then his reference is shameful.

        1. John

          Walky said “nuggets”. It’s just the commentators who’ve been calling them “McNuggets”.

      3. sps48

        Chick-Fil-A uses chunks of chicken breast, nor mechanically separated chicken bits glued together. Fie on you!

  3. Camachri

    As outlets for the build-up go, that could have been worse.

    1. Jen Aside

      You don’t see the poop

    2. Gigafreak

      Walky will (continue to) not smell good today

  4. Mr. Random

    SHE DID GET LESBIAN PREGNANT!

    1. LeslieBean4Shizzle

      **slow clap**

      You, sir, just made me actually laugh so hard I cried. Well done. Good call back.

    2. Lulu

      There’s 1% chance that a girl kissing another girl on the lips may result in spontanious impregnation!

      Beware kids!

  5. Echelon Four

    Pale and barfy? Hmmm… http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/04-just-hangin-out-with-my-family/appearances/

    1. LiaHansen

      MAN this has been a dynamic few weeks for them

    2. Opus the Poet

      Mr. Random beat you by seconds, but you had the link, so technically you WIN! Here is your Internet for the day.

      1. Mr. Random

        Seriously, how’d they find it so fast?

        1. Drunken Nordmann

          Maybe there’s a secret tag we missed.

  6. Plasma Mongoose

    Silly Billie, Walky ordered RANCH sauce not RETCH sauce!

    1. Yotomoe

      I think they’re basically the same flavor.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        I have never compared the two so I cannot say.

        1. Jen Aside

          CREAMY RETCH

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          I think I rather stick with Southwest sauce.

        3. Catullus

          why would you say such a thing

        4. AgentKeen

          …CHUNKY RETCH

          I’m sorry, I had to!

  7. Yotomoe

    Also, don’t ever give me the power to make people vomit with my touch. I would abuse my power SO much. That shortpacked robin strip? That’d be everyone. All the time.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      And your supervillain name will be Bulimia!

      1. Jen Aside

        I prefer BI-limia!

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Billimia even! 😀

        2. Yotomoe

          Bullimania.

    2. newllend

      ” YOU ATE MY DONUT!” *touch*

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Theme music!

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZKpByV5764

        1. Drunken Nordmann

          Sadly, it’s not watchable in my country. Bloody GEMA.

  8. Wack'd

    Y’know I was gonna make a “in before folks decide she must be pregnant” post but then I was like “c’mon, give the readers some credit.”

    That was clearly the wrong move.

    1. Yotomoe

      You should never give a DoA reader credit. We’re in Credit DEBT.

    2. LeslieBean4Shizzle

      To be fair, no one is saying she’s pregnant. They’re saying she’s LESBIAN pregnant. Which is far, far more awesome to say.

    3. John

      If there’s anything that Roomies! taught me, it’s that anyone who pukes must be pregnant!

      1. tinfoil theory

        But who’s the father?

        1. begbert2

          Ruth!

        2. Disloyal Subject

          Was there ever any doubt?
          …wait, this IS Billie…

  9. Emperor Kiva

    Um…..I……Joyce……um……shit….I have no idea what to say besides NASTY!

    1. Wack'd

      No, shit’s the other orifice.

      1. Emperor Kiva

        Oh shut up

      2. Roborat

        Someone apparently missed a Southpark episode.

  10. newllend

    Random dude: you gonna eat those nuggets?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      It’s bound to appeal to someone’s taste.

      1. newllend

        Ya like creepy Cody who eats out the garbage every Friday after pizza night.

        1. Drakey

          You forgot an “of” and accidentally made “Creepy Cody” about a sextillion times creepier.

        2. Tenn

          Marjory the Trash Heap? O_O

      2. TheoC

        Bad time to remind everyone of Rule 34?

    2. Yotomoe

      How did you know my favorite topping?

    3. Mr. Random

      Sure, they were covered by the box.
      Nd the vomit adds a nice spice on those that got hit.

    4. Vorkon

      Honestly, in most cases WALKY would be the “Random Dude” in this example. He strikes me as the sort of fellow who would say, “Well, they’re still in the box, so they’re still fair game!”

  11. Khaner

    Strange. Walky doesn’t normally make people puke at his vey presence. Just his breath.

  12. Wonder Wig

    “Hey Mike! Wanna come over and give Billie a congratulatory hand touch?”

    1. newllend

      “Hey Joe my female friend over they’re is really depressed you wanna give her a hug to make her feel better ? “

    2. Yotomoe

      Hahahaha FOP reference.

  13. Koms

    Joyce was so nice to her just now.

    1. Emperor Kiva

      Yes she was

      1. JessWitt

        Joyce is made of nice.

        1. AgentKeen

          Well, she’s a nice shell, with a layer of prejudice and ignorance, with a big nice center.

          So, like, 90% nice (which is by far better than almost everyone else ever).

        2. Mr. Random

          Sooo, she’s Stitch?

        3. tinfoil theory

          If Stitch was wrapped in a nice layer.

        4. AgentKeen

          Crossover with Joyce as Stitch, Walky as Lilo, and Sarah as Nani.

        5. Spamman

          Pretty much, I love the Joyce character a lot, as Sarah has noted, she really needs a good orgasm, and some time at at a nice liberal church. I’d suggest a good ELCA Lutheran church or maybe even the episcoplians.

        6. AgentKeen

          Because sex solves everything…

        7. Drunken Nordmann

          Except pregnancy. And death. I don’t think sex would stop death.

        8. gwalla

          It kinda does the opposite in horror movies.

        9. Emperor Kiva

          Yep Joyce is made of nice alright

  14. cmd1095

    maybe she’s detoxing, not drinking anymore? wishful thinking

    1. Maxy

      Yeah, I think that’s been strongly implied. She’s got the same telltale signs that Ruth did when she was sobering up, and it started just after Ruth chewed her out for drinking.

  15. Maveric1984

    Combination of detoxing and stress. Probably the realization that she wasn’t the big shit she thought she was in high school too.

    1. Godozo

      Or that THIS IS NO LONGER HIGH SCHOOL. Complete with the godawful Paramore song that actually now makes some sort of sense here.

      1. ninja_jesus

        Which Paramore song? <_<

  16. Kernanator

    While you’re at it, Walky, how about you rub your eyes with those vomit-covered hands?

    1. neeks

      Yeah, really hoping he washes his hands before eating lunch…

  17. JessWitt

    Nothing like vomit to break the tension.

    1. Thomas

      From pathos to bathos in 20 seconds! Whew, I was almost afraid we’d run out of wacky hi-jinks!

  18. MsSchiff

    “MY NUGGETS!”

    1. Wack'd

      Сладолед мой!

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      You can have them… YEEK!

    3. Yotomoe

      MY MANWICH!!!

      1. Maveric1984

        MY CABBAGES!

        1. Mass Confusion

          Beat me to it by a few seconds. Damn

        2. Maveric1984

          http://youtu.be/oPwrodxghrw

        3. Renadt

          Not my cabbages!

          Or… for the Korra fans- Not my CabbageCorp!

        4. vlademir1

          Meh. CabbageCorp has been shown to be a company that does some rather sub-par work anyway… almost makes me want to question what kind of quality those much lauded cabbages had.

      2. Mass Confusion

        MY CABBAGES!

        1. Jen Aside

          MEIN DIGITS!!

        2. Maveric1984

          You too can have it for only ninety-nine ninety-nine ninety-niiiiiiine

        3. timemonkey

          I simply adore children. But I could never eat a whole one.

        4. Drunken Nordmann

          Depends. The chubby ones you have to divide over a few days, maybe a week. The thin ones can go in one sitting, especially if you had nothing to eat for the whole day.

    4. Deanatay

      “Billie got my Nuggets all sticky.”

  19. Boomwolf

    O.k., I know right now everyone is focused on Billie, and that’s understandable… but has anyone else read the alt text? cause if so, I suggest reading it, as it is rather… thought provoking…

    1. Zababcd

      Midas actually requested the gift of turning everything he touched into gold. I doubt that Walky requested the gift of turning everything he touches into vomit, so I’m not sure how it’s going to go when he begs Dionysus to take back his ‘gift’.

      Although this gift does seem like one that’s fitting for Dionysus to hand out.

  20. Gigafreak

    Expressing sympathy through light physical contact!

    1. Thomas

      While being specific in denying what you think is untrue!

      (That is, Walky doesn’t refute Alice’s assessment of Billie being a drama hurricane.)

  21. GoogerGeiger

    I’m confused. Is that puke in the last panel? Or is Walky just ripping up his nuggets because he thinks that’s what make Billie sick?

    1. Yotomoe

      It’s puke.

    2. Pat

      Billie ruined the nuggets (by vomiting on them), but she didn’t touch them.
      Therefore, it is not true that she ruins what she touches–sometimes she ruins other things.

  22. Opus the Poet

    Detox, or soul-crushing news?

    1. Mass Confusion

      Both

  23. Catullus

    Look on the bright side: this is probably what it will take to get Walky to finally do some laundry.

    1. Jen Aside

      It’ll be sad if that still doesn’t =|

  24. Alexx

    Nothin’ like a punch in the gut after a your previous punch in the gut.

  25. Null Set

    I can’t tell if she fled or hit the floor. Either seems like a good option to me.

  26. Idon'tcarenomore

    I don’t think the point is that she is discovering she was not a ‘big shit in HS’. She kinda was, until she drank herself into treating her friends crappy, wrecked a car drunk, and got tossed off the cheer squad.

    She still didn’t get (or wouldn’t accept) that she was off the popular people list when took her HS cheer leader gear to college. Or when people like Alice dropped her like a hot potato.

    When she and Ruth hit bottom she still wouldn’t accept that her problems were based on her own behavior and her drinking. She started to wake up to the fact of how far down the ladder she was, when Alice showed up in her life.

    And then Alice told her all about it.

    Billies on saving note is that she backtracked on letting Walky and Joyce know that what she said to them was wrong.

    One last gasp and it’s all over. I think barfing is a rather graphic and appropriate way to express just how she feels at this point. She’s at the very bottom (I sincerely hope). Now she has nowhere to go but up. (I hope).

    1. ninja_jesus

      There’s always other drugs.

  27. etybolik

    Dammit Billie, you turned around and puked all over Walky’s lunch. What kinda shit is that?

    Anyway, hopefully now Billie will start extracting her head outta her butt and get her life right before things get any worse. She has a couple of friends that care for her that, I’m sure, will try to help as best they can, but she’ll need to do the real work herself.

    1. Thomas

      It may have escaped your notice, but Billie’s been making steady progress on extracting her head from her butt.

      1. xKiv

        Slow and steady!

    2. Tenn

      Puke is usually (luckily) not a kind of shit. 😛

      1. Kai

        No. it’s its precursor or an intermediate stage, depending on how far you’d like to go backwards in the food chain.

  28. etybolik

    Also, Alice is a psychic. She knew what would happen if she stuck around. Puke errywhere.

  29. Charles Phipps

    Oddly, I support Alice/Billy more than Ruth/Billy. I think they should reconcile.

    1. Thomas

      That’s not odd. Ruth’s behaviour towards Billie is way more f**ked-up than what we’ve seen of Alice. Also, cute.

    2. JimmyMcNuggets

      Alice has barely been in the series? Why would you push high school repeating itself so readily?

    3. John

      Why choose?

    4. That Damn Rat

      Personally I favour introducing Alice to Daisy.

      1. John

        I kind of suspect “Daisy never gets any” is an unspoken rule of the Dumbiverse.

    5. timemonkey

      I think Billie needs to be on her own for a bit. Then find a new relationship that isn’t toxic in some way.

  30. ninja_jesus

    It was at that moment when Old Billie was expelled out from her system, and New Billie emerged.

    1. That Damn Rat

      Now I have the visual of her vomiting up a black ooze that forms into an evil clone of Billie that runs off to cause mayhem

      1. ninja_jesus

        Getting drunk and crashing all the cars!

      2. Cybersnark

        Billie is/was a Nogitsune?

  31. Thomas

    I think HURK! is The Hulk’s pale, sickly-green coloured cousin.

    1. Lonas

      HURK SPLASH!

  32. WaytoomanyUIDs

    I was pretty sure Billie was going cold turkey, now I’m certain.

  33. Yarrr

    Is this going to be like Zuko from ATLA and his ‘metamorphosis’?

    1. Jen Aside

      Tempted to draw scarface Billie now…

      Princess Billuko, Vomitbender

      1. Jen Aside

        haha Princess PUKO

  34. Impy

    Well, this isn’t a pie in the face but, I was wrong yesterday. Billie’s life has NOW hit absolute rock bottom.

    1. Deanatay

      There’s never a ‘rock bottom’. There’s always a lower level to descend to. I trust in Willis to find it.

      1. xKiv

        Until you hit the fiery molten center. *Then* you have nowhere to go except up … but there’s nothing left of you to go anywhere, so it evens out.

        1. gwalla

          And then you find inner peace. Provided you make it past the lava people.

  35. KKoro

    Kinda ironic that when it came down to it, walkys the one being far more insensitive and shitty to billie.

  36. Willoughby Chase

    She should burn her Golden Dragon uniform in a ceremony on top of a hill overlooking a lake. She’ll laugh, she’ll cry as her adolescence is left behind. All praise the new Billie!

    (Getting naked and dancing around the pyre with Ruth and Alice would be cool too.)

  37. Deanatay

    Yeah, ‘ruin everythin you touch’ is totally not true.

    The rest of it – drama hurricane, poisonous – meh, best not to think about that right now.

    1. 3oranges

      It looks like Billie does ruin everything she vomits on. But who here can say otherwise?

      1. AgentKeen

        Steve
        http://img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120621204706/gravityfalls/images/thumb/4/4b/S1e1_gnome_throwing_up.png/185px-S1e1_gnome_throwing_up.png

        (I was hoping it was Shmebulock that threw up, cause that’s more fun to say. Shmebulock.)

        1. Drunken Nordmann

          Frankly, I wouldn’t want any rainbows on my shoes. It would ruin them.

  38. maxlines

    wow. Still awkward.

  39. Lone Wolf

    Well that diminished quickly.

  40. Head Alien

    *Falls to his knees* NOOOOOOO! Not the chicken nuggets!
    Of course, they ARE Walky’s…

    Mwuhahahahaha!

  41. XMinusOne

    Oh lookie, Joyce. It’s a ‘godpertunity’ to help clean up Billie’s barf; maybe even wipe her chin.

  42. halcyon1234

    They’re also not technically ruined.

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