211

Gawkin’
Posted on April 10, 2014 by David M Willis
Holy moly, folks, we funded in 16 hours!  Thank you!  Now, we're still working on extending the Saturday and Sunday website updates for another year, so we ain't done yet!

211 thoughts on “Gawkin’”

  1. David Herbert

    Heads I win, tales you lose.

    1. Jen Aside

      DANNY’S heads sure don’t win.

      1. Ivan

        She knows how to barter. She even has knee pads like Monica did.

      2. hack

        you win this thread.

        everyone please go home.

      3. Guest Person Dude

        Danny can’t win any tails either.

        1. LittleMountain

          He actually has a double-tails coin. But he doesn’t know and keeps calling heads.

    2. Tunaro

      She may not get calculus, but damn if that girl don’t understand economics.

    3. Aizat

      Playing Russian roulette…. with a loaded gun.

      1. Mr. Random

        The way I like it.

        1. Kit

          Great avatar either by chance or by choice.

      2. Cody B

        Wait. You can play Russian roulette without a loaded gun?

        1. Jen Aside

          Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun

          —but a buddy of mine does Livestreamed VHS Russian Roulette =o No matter what the tape’s labelled, 90% of them end up being Beast Wars, though.

        2. LittleMountain

          That’s usually not so terri- wait a minute, is this episode about Waspinator? NOOOOOOOOO!

        3. Andrusi

          Yeah. Most people call it “reading the comments” though.

      3. John

        Sounds like fun!

        I’ll give you the first turn.

      4. Dilos Ekans

        Russian Roulette with a clip loaded gun.. you first

    4. David

      Heads, you get tail, tails, I get head.

      1. No

        Your mom enjoys this game.

        1. Ocbrad1

          Appropriate gravatar is appropriate.

    5. Shadow12000

      Oh god, so if I lose, you’re going to tell me shitty stories? DAMMIT!

    6. Roborat

      Sorry to hijack, but Dave, are you aware your site has been hacked? It redirects to a pron site.

      1. Opus the Poet

        Would that pron site be ShipShine by any chance? (Why does my spell checker know the correct capitalization for SlipShine?)

        1. Mr. Random

          It doesn’t just hang around in your pocket doing NOTHING. It has a life you know.

  2. Yotomoe

    Sal, working her feminine wiles.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      A real smoooth operator that Sal is.

      1. KingMabel

        Danny never saw it coming. Or is fully aware what is happening at the moment.

        1. Keroshino

          And yet Danny is incapable of doing anything about it either way!

    2. newllend

      Her skills in feminine wiles seems a bit rusty

      1. WaveRocker

        Well… they were quite successful last time she was in need of “math help”

    3. Cheryl

      dem negotiation skills doe..

  3. NCP19

    So…how many “squeeze theorem” comments do we expect in regards to Sal?

    1. Accidental

      2. One for each side.

    2. -Sentinel-

      At least one, apparently.

    3. Yotomoe

      She’ll squeeze the shit out of Danny if he doesn’t help her.

      1. Tunaro

        That seems like way too enjoyable a death for someone like Danny

        1. Yotomoe

          Danny Danned up dying painfully.

      2. Jay Eff

        SAL: “If I do not get access to your charger cord lickety-split, I will squeeze you. And I will keep squeezing you till all your man juices run dry.”

        DANNY: “Uh, why did you sound like the grandpa from Spy Kids when you said that just now?”

        JAY EFF: “Man, I hope somebody around here gets this reference….”

        1. Mr. Random

          Someone did. However they haven’t commented on this comment yet.

    4. NoTheOtherGuy

      I don’t think we’ll be able to work it out directly, but we should be able to get an upper bound, and a lower bound, and see if they converge…

    5. Warren

      Oh, Jason taught her all about the squeeze theorem…

  4. Accidental

    I’d say it’s a fair trade. Danny TOTALLY doesn’t need his 3DS back.

    1. Yotomoe

      Not with that shitty time on Rainbow Road. Get on Sal’s level, Danny.

      1. Doctor_Who

        Maybe he should just trade math lessons for Mario Kart lessons.

        1. KingMabel

          Hey cut Danny a break. I bet it’s hard being good at Mario Kart when you’re so busy worrying about your secret girlfriend and your ex-girlfriend.

        2. Khrene Cleaver

          And your secret girlfriend revealing to you that shes the girl you left herself, secretly of course.

      2. Darth Cariss

        It’s possible he’s like me and just doesn’t care about time trial mode very much.

        1. Gadgeteer Smashwidget

          EVERYBODY cares about time trial.

          unless you’re a noob.

  5. Sock

    I’ve seen how her other “calculus lessons” go…sounds like she offered Danny boy a fair trade, to me!

    1. Yotomoe

      Oh man…Maybe I should draw it…MAYBEEEEEEEEEEE.
      naw.

      1. newllend

        Tease

    2. David

      Let’s trace out a real tight integration path around that singularity…

  6. Shade

    Sal, master negotiator.

    1. Aizat

      Well, Sales would make a good Renegade Spectre.

      1. Aizat

        Sal. I meant Sales. Damn Autocorrect.

      2. Cholma

        I bet Sal could teach Garrus how to make some “calibrations”.

        1. Aizat

          Well, I hope Sales has the flexibility to match Garrus’s reach.

        2. ninja_jesus

          Ehehehehehehehehe. Autocorrect.

        3. Aizat

          Flipping Autocorrect.

        4. Opus the Poet

          http://www.damnyouautocorrect.com/

    2. David

      She’s trying to make up for her negotiation skills with Jason.

  7. Doctor_Who

    Danny doesn’t know that math lessons with Sal come with a side order of sex.

    She really ought to advertise that, she’d get a better reaction.

    1. Jen Aside

      To the dude who turned down Billie?!?!

      Nah, I think Sal has some standards.

      1. Yotomoe

        Danny will turn down everyone for amazi-girl. Including her alter-ego.

        1. David

          The mask stays on!

        2. McKathlin

          Turning down Amber for Amazi-girl is pretty clueless. But turning down Billie and potentially Sal? Refreshingly decent, for a hormone-addled college guy.

  8. Wonder Wig

    The squeeze theorem predicts how tight your pants will be after a Chinese buffet.

  9. Count Dracula

    76 isn’t really all that bad a grade Sal.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Unless she needs an 80 or more to pass??

      1. KingMabel

        American grading systems: somehow even worse than 5th grade history class and freshman gym class combined.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          It depends on the subject but from what I have been told, in many uni tests, 60+ = Pass, 80+ = Credit and 95+ = Distinction.

        2. KingMabel

          Hell I wish. In some classes 70+ means the professor was nice enough to let you get credit. Anything below that is a fail and no credit.

        3. Kladeos

          I think it varies by school AND department. In my Canadian university, you weren’t supposed to get 80s in English unless you were genius. On the flip side, 80s was pretty decent for biology (my major). You only needed to maintain an average of 65 to stay in biology, but that varied by program. The average for biology majors (and probably most Arts & Science majors) is much higher than the the average for Engineering students, because they have way more work. I think high 70s is decent for them.

        4. KingMabel

          All american systems vary on what counts as a failing grade, but it assumes that all students get a C (about 80 on most scales) to get credit, and assumes that all students SHOULD get 100% on everything.

          The idea is that the student should be trying to get the highest grade possible, not just trying to get credit for the class. Sadly most classes teach in the same way across all fields, and any student who can’t keep up gets shoved out and called stupid, and most students who can keep up fall behind because teachers spend extra time helping students who don’t get the info right away.
          Or after 3 months.
          Or after failing the class twice.

        5. Kladeos

          WOAH 80 = C? Are you kidding me? I’m accustomed to:
          90+ = A+
          85-89 = A
          80-84 = A-

          C would be in the 60s. That’s ridiculous. But yes, we aim for highest score too (very few courses and tests are pass/fail) but department policy determines how people grade, so English is graded on a harder difficulty than something with more concrete answers like math or the natural sciences.

        6. p

          I came here to share this exact grading scale. Sal’s 76 is a solid B, and nothing to be ashamed of.

          Also we have a setup where you get credit for passing. Anything over 50 is a credit. Your GPA will be in the toilet, and you might get kicked out of your major (though I’ve actually never heard of that beyond the school requiring a minimum GPA to graduate), but you’ll have that credit. It kind of streamlines things.

      2. Count Dracula

        Maybe I’m jaded, but needing an 80 to pass a class seems like it would only be done by a institution that doesn’t like having alumni.

        1. Regalli

          And enjoys driving its students to the brink of despair.

        2. GhostWriterL

          A lot of science degrees, or medical related degrees, require 80% in classes, or else while it’s considered a pass on the class, it’s not a pass in the standards of the major. Even then, a straight 80% or even anything less than 85% would have you getting counseled by the dean of that major/department to discuss what is going on in your life to distract you from studies and how to correct it, if you’re genuinely focused on pursuing your major, or if you would do better doing something else.

          It’s important because you HAVE to know your shit in sciences in order to write research papers and essays and to be accredited for both doing your research and getting published… For medical related things you HAVE to know your shit because you are, literally, dealing with the health and wellbeing of other human beings, or in the case of veterinarians, animals that are either the loves of other peoples’ lives or even their very livlihood.

          Would you really trust a researcher who only got 70%’s in their curriculum to tell you science related facts? Would you trust a doctor with a diagnosis on a condition you might have if they only got that much? How about a vet you’re taking your beloved pet to because they’re sick?

        3. Kladeos

          I’ve only heard of that for nursing at my university. You needed to maintain an average of 80 (or was it get 80 to pass?) to graduate as a nurse.

        4. The Beards

          While i agree with you for the Doctor/Vet point, if this hypothetical scientist who only got 70s wrote a proper research paper outlining methods and such, yes i would believe them because i can critically analyse their data for myself and see if i believe their conclusions. That has nothing to do with their prior grades.

        5. The Beards

          Also i know where i live there is a sever shortage of doctors. So if i had the choice of not getting in to see a doctor for several months or going to a student who was dedicated enough to the craft to attend 4+ years of med school and still knows 70% of (presumably) the more basic medical knowledge, i would choose to see SOMEONE who knows what they’re talking about. Besides, if they are unsure they have resources such as texts and colleagues to consult that you don’t have access to. While i wouldnt trust one to operate on me, training student, who want to be doctors but can only achieve 70s, to be physicians is a good idea in some areas.

        6. David

          80 at what level? I remember an undergrad higher math course where the engineers needed 20/100 to pass. I think there was a material science course with a worse passing level (lowered to 30/200, split among questionnaire and derivations, which still meant that 80% failed and the best of 200 students managed something like 50), and theoretical electrotechnics was not all that different.

          Several of those exams were butthead crazy hard (the higher math was actually sort of reasonable: while it did weed out quite a few, you had a reasonable chance if you had what it took to master the kind of math needed for a theoretical engineer, and you actually got the teaching materials to get there).

          Of course that was Aachen, Germany. You don’t pay tuition here. Your studies are largely your own responsibility. Failure is absolutely a part of the system. You lose a few years, but it’s “only” cost of living you accrue in debt, and student loans for that purpose are without interest. Those days you did have to repay only part of them when you were eligible in the first place (depended on income and study progress), but that might have changed.

          So the underlying idea was everybody should be able to afford studying, but a degree will only be given to those who have the brains rather than the money for passing. And in a university/faculty with a self-image of being elitist, several of the professors were going nuts on the grading curve, considering their own course much more important than the other 12 or so you were supposed to be taking at the same time.

          So crazy as it sounds, 80/100 can be friendly grading. I’ve seen the kind of rampage professors (or teaching assistants) can go on with “nominally” 30/200. Oh, and the graduate course level stuff were usually “suitcase exams”. You were allowed to bring anything into them except for communication devices or calculators beyond a certain complexity. Did not matter all that much. If you were not able to slough through the stuff basically in your sleep, you would not be going anywhere. Too little time.

      3. timemonkey

        At mine you needed an 85 to pass the course. It varied slightly depending on the class but 85 was the average.

        1. Count Dracula

          What classes are these? Maybe it’s just my major? Because after a big exam, the professor will usually say something along the lines of “the average was a 63/71/68”.

          Having an 85 be a D- seems completely ludicrous. What the hell does that curve look like, a plateau? How do you possibly discriminate the best from the worst when you only have 15 points you can manipulate?

        2. timemonkey

          There was a psychology class, a sociology class, a science, teaching class.

      4. Yuuki

        In Japanese I at my university you need a 75 to pass and an 85 to qualify for Japanese II. Most of my classes had a pass average and a qualifying average for the next level course. Usually they were closer together though.

    2. Yotomoe

      I mean yeah, but ideally you’d want to be doing better than 76.

    3. Aizat

      Yeah…at least it’s not 69.

      1. Jay Eff

        I get the feeling if Joe was a professor, that’s the grade he’d give to all his female students…

    4. gangler

      76 is adequate. You can’t shove “adequate” in your parents faces.

    5. Pie

      Assuming this class curves the grade to a normal distribution, then the adequacy of the grade depends heavily on the grades of others in the class. I’ve taken many classes where 60 was the BEST grade in the class, and students would pass with a 40.

    6. Annie

      I would have given my i-teeth for a 76 in math my freshman year. My major (actually, both come to think of it) only required one math class and it took me 4 tries to pass the damn thing.

      Math and my brain do NOT get along.

      I guess it’s kind of a good thing and a bad thing that I was paying for classes out of my own pocket. I didn’t have to worry about losing scholarships or anything, but I also had to pay to take the same damn class 4 times.

  10. Seerow

    I’m curious what major Sal is going for that she’s in a Calculus class in Freshman year anyway. She doesn’t strike me as someone going into a math heavy field, or even really that interested in math. Why torture herself with a class she doesn’t like, in an area she has trouble with, when there are a large number of majors that never require you to go into it?

    1. someguywithakatana

      Calculus, by college, is a pretty basic course, depending on where you’re going. When I got to school, I had it my first semester, and I’m dang film major

      1. Maveric1984

        And everyone in the US uses Stewart’s Calc text book, usually some “localized” print so you couldn’t buy it online.

        1. No Name

          I use Thomas’ Calculus

        2. Opus the Poet

          I don’t remember my calculus text from when I was in college, there have been a few presidents since then (Ford was Pres when I took Calc, so you do the math…)

      2. TheStranger

        The highest level of math I’ve had to take in college was statistics, and I’m graduating this spring.

        I mean, it’s not a STEM major, but neither was the original going to be (journalism).

        1. David

          Statistics is a bit hobbled without analysis. I mean, how are you going to work with higher moments of probability distributions without analysis? Principal component analysis is underlying a whole lot of statistics and so on.

          And even fundamentals like the mean variance of a sample of a base distribution being smaller by the variance of the sampling mean when compared to the actual variance of the underlying base distribution: how do you prove stuff like that without analysis?

        2. Carl-E

          You just assume everything’s normal.

          I’ve taught intro statistics at the college level – it’s a bit of a joke.

        3. drs

          Your sense of humor is skewed.

      3. Seerow

        Seems like it varies a lot by school then. I was a CS student, so I had to take calc (plus a couple other math classes after that). When I switched to IT later on, I found out that IT majors only had to go up through Precalc, so nobody in any of my upper level classes had taken much math.

        I also have several friends working on business related degrees (Accounting, Finance, etc), and while they do need to take calculus, they get a separate Applied Calculus class as opposed to “Calculus for Engineers” that you need to take when going into any of the Sciences.

        Getting beyond that into the liberal arts degrees, I know there’s some majors that require nothing beyond college algebra, which is a joke. Like a Freshman going into Film taking calculus would be a major anomaly here. (Like someone who just happened to want to do film but really liked Math so added a math minor or took it as an elective or something).

    2. Doctor_Who

      I took calc before I’d settled on a major. Turnsed out to be a good idea, because I eventually picked Comp Sci, and it turns out you need that shit.

    3. Plasma Mongoose

      I’m a little surprised myself, maybe she’s only doing college to impress her parents? If anything, I would see Sal as the type to go the technical college route.

    4. -Sentinel-

      For that matter, it would be nice to have a list of every character and their majors.

      1. David M Willis

        Most of everybody’s were given in the books.

        1. Bill

          Nice way to get us to buy the books 😉

    5. GhostWriterL

      Calculus isn’t some lofty high-level math… It’s actually pretty basic for what it teaches, which is the basic building blocks for things like physics.. and given that so many things, including creative degrees, rely on computers nowadays, having a basic knowledge of formulas and how they work is very useful. So if you happened to be into making videogames and make an engine which causes weird stuff with objects to happen, you can go in and look at your formulas to figure out why said engine isn’t calculating gravity properly in relation to the environment being made.

      1. Seerow

        Think about what you just used as an example of where you might use calculus. If you don’t think “Programming video game physics” is a pretty niche application I don’t know what to tell you.

        Which isn’t to say that calculus doesn’t have a lot of practical applications (it does), but there’s also a large number of careers that don’t require any math beyond basic algebra.

        1. David

          If you are doing Computer Science rather than just Programming 101, it is expected that you can derive something like the algorithmic complexity of hashing or sorting algorithms. That’s actually rather beastly analysis in there (typically solving differential equations characterizing generating functions).

    6. maxyai

      I got lucky. When I started college math was not a requirement for my major.(graphic design) By the time I finished it was a requirement but I was able to use the curriculum from when I started. Math sucks.

  11. Rhy

    Hey Willis, you state how you just need $20k for everything; what do you do with the extra mula?

    1. clodia

      Make more books and ship them out? It’s not like any extra ordered books become suddenly free.

    2. Doctor_Who

      There are over 80 cubic feet of empty space in his domicile that don’t contain something stamped with a Hasbro logo yet. What’s he supposed to keep there, air?

    3. David M Willis

      There is no extra moolah. If you clicked the link I gave and read the page, you’d see that further funds would go towards producing other books.

      1. Cholma

        So that fat stack of greenbacks in your basement from last year’s KS is just an illusion?

        (who am I kidding? any extra money went to Transformers stuff and buying Joel’s love) ;p

      2. Bill

        There is no extra moolah because this is just a sideline.  After seeing that Smut Peddler 2 went golden on Kickstarter in less than six hours he now has undeniable proof that the internet is for porn.

  12. newllend

    Is sal failing a class on negotiation two? or does her math just suck that badly.

    1. Aizat

      Or Sal failed her negotiation roll?

      1. newllend

        You know what should she stop there? ” I also want to keep your DS, and all the money in your pocket, and your ID and your shoes. And in return I’ll give you my shirt( its not mine anyway).

        1. John

          “Sounds like a good deal! … but I can’t give you my shoes. I already gave them to my ex’s new boytoy, and he never gave them back. Funny, he looks a lot like you…”

      2. Kelly

        Failed? I think she succeeded!

    2. timemonkey

      She’s have to pass Negotiation One before she could fail Negotiation Two. XD

      1. newllend

        Negotiation 1: knowing what you want. Negotiation 2: Offering what you have.

  13. dave

    I don’t know, it sounds like a good trade concidering how her other math lessons went

    1. newllend

      Not really, according to her last tutor it seems as if she sucks at math just as much as she does in the sack.

    2. begbert2

      Dal is less likely to be able to cheat her grade up than Jason, so I don’t see what motivation Sal has to sex him up. Heck, it seems like she can barely stand to be in his annoying presence.

      1. begbert2

        Dal? I mean Sanny. (I actually typed that – damn! I meant Danny. Anybody know where I can get a trade in on a slightly used, slightly defective brain?)

        1. The Candyman

          Sounds like you have shipping on the brain.

  14. Kernanator

    Sal is a master haggler.

    “This TV is 500 dollars? Ah’ll give ya 700 for it.”

    1. Aizat

      Meja. Goofy is a better haggler.

    2. Jericho

      She could always steal it instead…

      1. ninja_jesus

        We all know her track record with that. Not happening.

  15. Mkvenner

    Poor Danny.
    Maybe.

  16. Aizat

    See, Danny is not a complete idiot. He knows calculus.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      I never could wrap my head around things like calculus and imaginary numbers which is why I never did beyond Year 10.

      1. Aizat

        Heck, I have a hard time understanding Additional Mathematics.

      2. Opus the Poet

        Imaginary Numbers is a required GOPTP course. (Americans will get this, not so sure about the rest)

        1. Khrene Cleaver

          Who are you kidding! We Americans don’t know our own politics!

        2. Aizat

          Dude, no one knows their own politics.

      3. Kelly

        Imaginary numbers don’t bother me. Calculus is hard for me, I think mostly because of the advanced algebra in it. The concepts are all pretty simple… making the equations come out to the right answer is the tough part…

  17. hinoteoni

    I like where this is going.

    1. Niblik

      As do I.
      Now I’m off to watch all the Danny Haters rage!

  18. John Madden

    I think I see where this is going….and I see hilarity at the end of that tunnel.

    1. Aizat

      I see tears at the end of the tunnel.

      1. newllend

        A see Dramatic chaos at the end of this tunnel, and I like it.

        1. Opus the Poet

          I see bloody femurs exposed at the end of that tunnel.

        2. Jaxx Sentinel

          I see a little silhouette of a man

        3. Aizat

          Scaramouch, Scaramouch, will you do the fandango?

        4. RandomRedMage

          Thunderbolts and lightning very very frighting me!

        5. Heavensrun

          Gallileo.

        6. Bill

          Figaro.

        7. Aizat

          Magnifico.

  19. LiamAldam

    I hope things go as well as with her previous tutor.

  20. Keroshino

    That’s right Sal…screw over Danny.

    1. Kladeos

      That’s the way to do it.

  21. Beachfox

    My first thought on these last two comics: “Jeeze, this is such a crack pairing, but it’d be so cute!”

    Then I remembered that Dan/Sal was the -original- Willis couple and blew my own mind a little bit.

    1. The Rumblefish

      Thank you so much for confirming that and preventing a shameful search through the archives. It’s been so long since Roomies that I wondered if my mind was playing tricks on me with the original Danny/Sal couple.

      Actually, this storyline really emphasizes for me how long DW has been doing comics. Wait, I should reformulate. This storyline really emphasizes how long DW has been doing comics for me. I barely remember Internet without those characters somewhere. How many strips has DW done so far? Crazy.

      … Sorry, there was nothing witty in that comment. Something something “Danny” “Life” “Blue Shell”.

  22. Rani

    Danny, when I told you “Well, screw that crazy biker”, this is not remotely what I meant.

  23. indignostudios

    “Ok, well then ah’ll just screw your brains out fer both an’ you’ll get to rub it in the TA’s face.”

  24. tbf

    *checks Wikipedia*

    It looks like I’ve forgotten calculus 🙁

  25. Black Bumblebee

    24,211… looks like Saturday updates will be unlocked soon 🙂

    1. Hoboturtle

      Done.

  26. Baker

    I wonder if this means she’ll stop borrowing the TA’s power cord to charge her batteries

    1. Jaxx Sentinel

      Nah, that’s an import, it requires a European adapter to charge

  27. Tealjoy

    Oh Danny…

  28. Bit

    Sal: apparently better at math than bargaining terms.

    Eh, go for it Danny. Helping people with school is a reward by itself. Be cool.

    1. Kelly

      >Helping people with school is a reward by itself

      I agree!

      1. Kelly

        Wow, not meant as sarcastic as it seems with the Mike avatar

        1. begbert2

          Come on you know that deep down inside you think the best kind of help is horrible sabotage. I mean, don’t we all?

    2. Mystrana

      The best part about tutoring people is the part where you solidify your own understanding of the material by going over it again and again!

  29. JoeMerl

    As her last tutor, Danny; he seemed to think working with her turned out to be a pretty good deal.

  30. Idon'tcarenomore

    “English was graded on harder score than classes like math or science with concrete answers”…are you freakin’ kidding?

    Sigh.

    Go for it Sal, at least you’ll get along in the world, degree or no degree.

  31. Jericho

    And so, Sal grew up to become the World’s greatest politician (except Robin, when she can be bothered).

  32. thinkingofthechildren

    I’m starting to think those two might actually work as a couple in a dysfunctional way….”Am I shipping?” What? God no! Or…dear lord, AM I??!?

  33. The Steve

    It’s nice to see how this Danny and this Sal interact. And as much as I’d like to see Amber and Danny get past her massive problems and explore whatever they are, I’d also like to see Danny meet someone who just likes him for him. Even with the massive downgrade Danny got with the reboot, he’s hardly the least appealing male in the strip…

    1. Jaxx Sentinel

      Who would you say would be the least appealing male? Faz aside of course

      1. waterbuffalo

        Faz and Blaine seem like the only unappealing males with more than two lines in the entire strip. Oh, wait, there was Ryan…that’s about it. everyone else except mike has been “redeemed” and even so mike is still appealing.

  34. Kani

    And Sal is still getting the bad end of the deal.

    1. Keroshino

      Danny is the “bad end” of any deal!

      1. Aizat

        Not really. Now Faz…that’s the bad end.

  35. thumb

    Is Sal likely to be screwing her way to a higher education? Without cheating?

  36. Triniking

    This “squeeze theorem” better be some sorta sex position.

    1. Bill

      Danny tutors Sal in the “squeeze theorem”, Sal tutors Danny in another type of “squeezing”, and Willis has his next Slipshine submission in the bag.

    2. Roborat

      Danny would like to squeeze her theorem, if you know what I mean.

      1. John

        If you mean he wants to calculate the area under her curves, I know what you mean.

        I think there’s a bound/bondage joke around here somewhere, too, but damn if I can find it.

        1. John

          (Damn, that should’ve been “a bound/bondage gag“…)

        2. Zababcd

          Don’t worry; it doesn’t matter if you used the right word or knot.

  37. Jimmy

    I’ll help you with the squeeze theorem. Phrasing.

  38. Zababcd

    It might just be me, but I thought that the squeeze theorem was probably one of the easiest concepts to understand: If a function f(n) is less than or equal to another function a(n), and greater than or equal to another function b(n), and functions a(n) and b(n) both approach k as n approaches x, then function f(n) must also approach k as n approaches x, as it is ‘squeezed’ between them. By extension, if function a(n) approaches k and function b(n) approaches h as n approaches x, then f(n) must be between k and h. This can help to find a value for a derivative (n approaches 0), or the value of an integral, as the theorem extends to the sums of series of terms in f, a and b over an interval in which the inequality b <= f <= a holds, and the integral is such a sum taken with infinitesimal intervals between each term in the series.

    Well, now it sounds complicated, and I'm not even sure I got it right (and I'm almost certain I violated some conventions for mathematical expression of the theory). But it's just a matter of how you explain it. For the squeeze theorem, diagrams are the correct way. It might still be complicated for some students, but probably not more complicated than the other maths Sal would be learning.

    1. John

      Apparently the Squeeze Theorem is sometimes called the Two Policemen and a Drunk Theorem. This brings to mind the explanation:

      “So imagine that you and Walky are trying to get Billie home on Friday night. If each of you has one of her arms, and you keep hold of her, then if you both get home, no matter how much Billie staggers around, or how many times she stops to puke, she’ll get home too.”

      1. John

        (“Ah tried that once, but after the second time she honked my boob an’ tried to gimme a booze-puke-smellin’ kiss, Ah left her in a ditch.”)

  39. Tenn

    A Sal/Danny/Jason threesome suddenly seems a tiny bit plausible. O_O

  40. MrSmiley

    “math lessons” we all know how those go.

    1. StClair

      1 + 1 = the beast with two backs?

  41. S. Noir

    Just to add to the grading scale notes — at my university there was a professor whose nickname was “Goddamnit!”

    Why?

    I got back my first quiz from him — first grade I got in college. Front page had the numerical score: 27/100.

    My heart sank.

    I turned through the sea of red ink to the last page, with the letter grade.

    A.

    “Goddamnit!” And I heard several other people in the lecture hall say *exactly* the same thing.

    1. ninja_jesus

      If his name was Ross, I’m gonna laugh reeeeeaaaaally hard. Not because I know any professor by that name. Just because it’d make sense.

      God damn it, Ross.

    2. Hythrain

      Wait, what? XD Several people got an A despite a low numerical score? Did he expect people to just do that poorly and only expected people to get 30/100?

  42. das-g

    Sal: … Fine. Gimme those two things an’ ah’ll accept your apoligy for being annoying.
    Danny: That isn’t a trade, either. You’d get three things: Charger cord, math lessons and an apology.
    Sal: Gimme those three things, an’ ya won’t get ah punch into the face.
    Danny: Although, you’d still get three things and keep one, that does sound like a fair deal, I guess …

  43. Felgraf

    Danny accepts: JEEZ DANNY, WAY TO HELP THE GIRLTHAT CAUSED YOUR GIRLFRIEND TRAUMA and held her then-boyfriend at knifepoint! You’re terrible, always danning it up. She’ll think you’re dating a girl she hates! (Yes, dan does not know this, but this hasn’t exactly stopped folks before.)

    Danny refuses: WHY AREN’T YOU HELPING SOMEONE IN NEED! Jesus you’re so selfish!

    1. Hoboturtle

      Yah, pretty much. He just can’t win.

      1. maycroft

        unless he gets on with sal.

    2. Jen Aside

      I dunno, he really has no obligation to help other people. No one does–we all have limited time, and if he needs that time to go around Danning up other stuff, then Sal’s loss.

      1. Heavensrun

        I think his point is that no matter what Danny decides to do, the hate train will steam on.

  44. JPG

    Danny is a maths geek? Awww, I love him even more now.

    1. Random832

      You know what would be hilarious? If it turned out Danny got into Yale and ended up not going so he could follow Dorothy to IU.

      1. Jen Aside

        That just sounds pathetic, actually, and why Dorothy’s justified in turning him loose. Idiot.

    2. kelticat

      He should be a Math geek. He is in the CompSci courses with Amber.

  45. bunivasal

    Danny, Sal had sex with her last math tutor, and he was Jason. You may recognize Jason as “The Danny of It’s Walky”.

    I’m not saying Sal will trade you sex for math. I am saying that she bangs people she doesn’t like, and you’re Danny.

    1. OkamiKing

      Jason was no Danny my friend, Jason was kind of an asshole, but a fair and somewhat just space time asshole.

    2. John

      Danny was the Danny of It’s Walky!.

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