Oh, so THAT’S it! That’s why I like to wear men’s jackets, coats and jeans. I have a pair of jeans that have loads of pockets. I also have backpacks to hold any excess that can’t easily fit in the pockets. I also find backpacks so I can carry excess that doesn’t fit into the pockets. Nobody’s tricking me into paying for overpriced bags!
Don’t know if you’re joking or not but this is actually true. Lack of pockets goes back to the suffergette movement, pockets being taken away as the men folk in charge didn’t want the women getting organised. It was entirely a power play, one that still hasn’t quite been fixed yet.
zee
Tbf purses are infinitely more goated than pockets. I’d rather have both than just the purse but life is so much easier with a bag to put your shit in. I advocate the man purse
Morleuca
pockets are the one thing I miss from transitioning
I’ve read it’s because women stabbed so many men in the 19th century. Men redesigned the entire women’s fashion industry to make it harder for them to access concealed weapons.
Then women started stabbing dudes with hat pins, because the men still needed stabbing.
Raen
I’ve heard the same story, only I’d heard it happened in 458 BCE.
I got women’s jeans today that advertised that they had extended pockets. This meant that the pockets extended all the way to the zipper horizontally but still were only 4 inches deep (about 10cm) so stuff still falls out of them. Note in regular guy’s jeans I can stick a 3in by 6in phone in my front pocket without any issues. So that is how designs “give” women the pockets they want.
Regret
Wear skater jeans. They’ve got pockets deep enough to hold six soda cans. Per pocket.
Taffy
With the added advantage of encouraging skatechick fashion.
zee
Or find Levi’s on sale. My high waisted woman jeans are big enough for my phone
Also shouldn’t be a necessity but i cut out the bottom of my holister jean pockets and stitched on a pair of actual pockets i cut out of something else. Took ages to do by hand but worth it
Taffy
Fuck it, let’s just take away men’s pockets too. What do they need ’em for, some keys and a pocket knife they’re never gonna use (but they’ll still get defensive if you even insinuate them not needing it for anything), maybe a pack of mint gum that’s smashed and soaked in their ball sweat because they insist on wearing dark pants in fucking July? We all know that’s what the sweat is, none of us are benefitting from this farce. And while we’re at it, why do men bother with the mint gum? They’re chasing it with Monster Energy and Slim Jims, there’s not a mint on Earth that can overpower that combination.
The point is, make men wear short shorts with no pockets, so the rest of us can at least have something to ogle.
Dave the Inverted
I might be okay with short shorts, but they would have to be cargo short shorts. My everyday carry:
Front left slash pocket –
Personal key ring – House key, car key, PO box key, pill container containing earplugs, tiny Leatherman
Work key ring – various work-related keys, compact flathead and #2 Phillips screwdrivers, pocket flashlight (1 AA)
Front right slash pocket – Wallet, ballpoint pen, accumulated receipts
Left cargo pocket – microfiber glasses cleaning cloth, travel pack of Kleenex, spare chapstick, travel salt and pepper grinders
Right cargo pocket – Music player, IEMs (in a hard case), 3000 mAh power pack, 6″ USB A-to-C cable
Left “tech” pocket – phone
When I’m at work I add a belt pouch and a second (and sometimes a third) phone to what I’m carrying. +shrug+
Me, pre-transition: Why do women carry purses everywhere?
Me, a baby trans trying on women’s jeans for the first time: oh
Me, post-transition: *wears their old boyjeans everywhere because screw fashion and gender roles, but also carries a bag everywhere but it’s actually kinda convenient*
Schpoonman
A while back I bought an off-brand Camelbak that was missing its hydration pack for super cheap to use for my wallet, headphones, and pretty much everything except my phone and keys, which stay on my person at all times when I’m out and about. So much better than filling all of my pockets and still carrying stuff by hand.
Women’s clothes tend to be designed to be more form-fitting and tight and thin. Pockets that you can put stuff in tend to ruin that. This is also why when women’s clothes have actual pockets, they’re ridiculously small.
Because not enough people have discovered eShakti. Once you wear custom made clothing WITH POCKETS you will never go back. Clothing without pockets is oppression designed to keep us dependant on purses or men.
It’s a conspiracy by the purse industry. Seriously irritating when they do that with pants. Makers go out of their way to make a fake opening seam without the pocket, such wasted effort.
On the very small upside, at least the ones with fake openings make it very easy to sew in a pocket yourself if you slit it and have it be unnoticeable, unlike ones that don’t even have that much.
Hazel
I did that once accidentally. Tore out the stitches keeping the fake pocket shut.
some of them have real pockets sewn shut, I assume in case the wearer WANTS to keep them “fake” but otherwise they can take out the stitches and have actual pockets
Tbh, being that I wear glasses and have prescription sunglasses, I do tend to have a purse too if I go anywhere (since keeping that, my wallet, my keys, my phone, and menstrual stuff all in my pockets would be a huge pain). I would like a pocket big enough to carry my phone in if I am doing work outside or going on a walk and don’t need all that stuff.
On a side note, I also tend to bring a granola bar with me in my purse too since I am one of those people that gets really hangry when I am hungry. Since I sometimes use public transit, it isn’t like I can keep it in the car, and I don’t like getting hangry.
Fun fact in the original recording of Ironic by Alanis Morissette the line was “Like not having pockets on your wedding dress” but was changed to “rain on your wedding day” because the producers told her that wasn’t a relatable experience.
* Get used men’s shorts like 3 sizes too big for you
* adjust the waistband to fit you
* It becomes a flare-skirt like thing
* The pockets ARE LARGE ENOUGH TO FIY MY LUNCH
I wear a size 2 normally in women’s pants. I tried on several size 6’s in one brand and they didn’t fit because they were too small. I am sorely tempted to only get men’s pants, even the ones with the weird hole with a button in the front be damned, as they fit better, are more true to size and have pockets.
I learned recently that the pockets on suit jackets are actually real. They’re sewn closed when made for whatever reason, to preserve the shape of the suit or something, and the buyer has to either cut them open themself or request it be done if they take the suit in for tailoring.
It makes sure the pocket can’t snag on something and get damaged in shipping. It also keeps randos from putting their nasty hands in the pockets while the jacket is on display.
eh, clothes were made to be modded (though these days I’m so lazy I’m putting up with work clothes I’ve worn for LITERALLY EVER rather than struggle to find anything new)
My favorite (only) skirt has two *real* pockets! That’s can fit my phone! (Pleated skirts are more likely to have pockets since they can be hidden in the pleats).
My highschool was the rare progressive school that let girls wear pants (uniform) so i made the switch. The girls pants were awful and my guy friends were flexing that they could fit their tablets in their pockets so i said fuck it and bought the boys pants. The fit was awkward as hell, went up to like an XL and they still didn’t reach my ankles, you could fit half a person in there with me and my ass was deleted. But i could hold my lunch in my pockets on the walk back to the cafeteria ?
Can’t do that anymore bc i refuse to wear jeans and pants that aren’t a flattering high waist cut, sadge
I am fully in support of all women who want to fight back against defective clothing pockets by the logical tactic of a COLD AND IMMEDIATE STOPPING OF PAYING THESE COMPANIES MONEY FOR DEFECTIVE CLOTHING!
Whine about it all you want, on Twitter, Facebongo, Reddit, this very comment thread, anywhere you like. It doesn’t matter and won’t accomplish anything.
The point where you told those companies their idiotic ideas about female pockets were valid and acceptable to you is the moment when you pulled your plastic card out and gave them money for a defective product.
You’ll know what to do soon, Joyce. It’ll be scandalous and you’ll feel like you’ve crossed a line past which you can never retreat, but his hands are warm and you’ll like holding them.
No no no it’s cool it’s cool, she can hug his arm and then if he interprets this as not platonic she can explain she was just gonna use his mighty body to do chin-ups
Yeah, what is that thing? It looks like two sleeves held together by a toddler hoodie. Even if she can get it to zip, it’s barely crop-top length. That button-down can’t keep winter out on its own.
Joe’s got his jacket unzipped, so maybe it’s in the 40s?
You play tricks on my mind
You’re everywhere but you’re so hard to find
You’re not shy or sentimental
You’re so extreme and you get so tempermental
But I’m not looking for a love that lasts
I know what I want and I want it fast
That’s one thing in common that we both share
It’s our need for each other–any time and anywhere and it gets
URGENT… (/Foreigner)
It’s the future. There are gloves specifically designed to transmit the electrical conductivity of your fingertips through your gloves so that you can still doomscroll even when it’s cold.
Savail
I don’t care about doomscrolling, I care about evil gloves covering my fingertips!
210 thoughts on “Urgent”
Ana Chronistic
fake pockets are a plague on humanity
…which of course means folks will totes ignore them to their own detriment ?
The Wellerman
FUCK why do womens’ clothing almost NEVER have pockets? so thankful gender-neutral clothing with pockets exist
Doctor_Who
So they can sell them bags.
saltchocolate
Correct
Ragingagnostic
Oh, so THAT’S it! That’s why I like to wear men’s jackets, coats and jeans. I have a pair of jeans that have loads of pockets. I also have backpacks to hold any excess that can’t easily fit in the pockets. I also find backpacks so I can carry excess that doesn’t fit into the pockets. Nobody’s tricking me into paying for overpriced bags!
Segnosaur
Of course women’s clothing doesn’t have proper pockets.
We men designed it that way so that we would always have an advantage in the gender wars. (We can easily carry our wallet, keys, phone, etc.)
Once women figure out that pockets are useful, then we men are toast.
The Wellerman
What does a gender-war look like once you account for the existence of enbies like me? XD
Nathan
We’re Switzerland, I guess?
Taellosse
The Battle of Five Armies, probably.
Dana
Pretty sure one or both sides of the gender war is/are pretty wedded to enbies not existing.
CJ
Has the clothing industry caught on to enbie clothing that do not look like sports clothing?
Chokfi
I think we’re the mercanaries, lol
Taffy
Militaires Sans Binaires
Psi Baka Onna
Don’t know if you’re joking or not but this is actually true. Lack of pockets goes back to the suffergette movement, pockets being taken away as the men folk in charge didn’t want the women getting organised. It was entirely a power play, one that still hasn’t quite been fixed yet.
zee
Tbf purses are infinitely more goated than pockets. I’d rather have both than just the purse but life is so much easier with a bag to put your shit in. I advocate the man purse
Morleuca
pockets are the one thing I miss from transitioning
Savail
I can always tell which of my daughter’s bottoms are the “gender neutral” ones. They’re the ones with real pockets.
BadRoad
I’ve read it’s because women stabbed so many men in the 19th century. Men redesigned the entire women’s fashion industry to make it harder for them to access concealed weapons.
Then women started stabbing dudes with hat pins, because the men still needed stabbing.
Raen
I’ve heard the same story, only I’d heard it happened in 458 BCE.
Kimi
I got women’s jeans today that advertised that they had extended pockets. This meant that the pockets extended all the way to the zipper horizontally but still were only 4 inches deep (about 10cm) so stuff still falls out of them. Note in regular guy’s jeans I can stick a 3in by 6in phone in my front pocket without any issues. So that is how designs “give” women the pockets they want.
Regret
Wear skater jeans. They’ve got pockets deep enough to hold six soda cans. Per pocket.
Taffy
With the added advantage of encouraging skatechick fashion.
zee
Or find Levi’s on sale. My high waisted woman jeans are big enough for my phone
Also shouldn’t be a necessity but i cut out the bottom of my holister jean pockets and stitched on a pair of actual pockets i cut out of something else. Took ages to do by hand but worth it
Taffy
Fuck it, let’s just take away men’s pockets too. What do they need ’em for, some keys and a pocket knife they’re never gonna use (but they’ll still get defensive if you even insinuate them not needing it for anything), maybe a pack of mint gum that’s smashed and soaked in their ball sweat because they insist on wearing dark pants in fucking July? We all know that’s what the sweat is, none of us are benefitting from this farce. And while we’re at it, why do men bother with the mint gum? They’re chasing it with Monster Energy and Slim Jims, there’s not a mint on Earth that can overpower that combination.
The point is, make men wear short shorts with no pockets, so the rest of us can at least have something to ogle.
Dave the Inverted
I might be okay with short shorts, but they would have to be cargo short shorts. My everyday carry:
Front left slash pocket –
Personal key ring – House key, car key, PO box key, pill container containing earplugs, tiny Leatherman
Work key ring – various work-related keys, compact flathead and #2 Phillips screwdrivers, pocket flashlight (1 AA)
Front right slash pocket – Wallet, ballpoint pen, accumulated receipts
Left cargo pocket – microfiber glasses cleaning cloth, travel pack of Kleenex, spare chapstick, travel salt and pepper grinders
Right cargo pocket – Music player, IEMs (in a hard case), 3000 mAh power pack, 6″ USB A-to-C cable
Left “tech” pocket – phone
When I’m at work I add a belt pouch and a second (and sometimes a third) phone to what I’m carrying. +shrug+
Erika
Me, pre-transition: Why do women carry purses everywhere?
Me, a baby trans trying on women’s jeans for the first time: oh
Me, post-transition: *wears their old boyjeans everywhere because screw fashion and gender roles, but also carries a bag everywhere but it’s actually kinda convenient*
Schpoonman
A while back I bought an off-brand Camelbak that was missing its hydration pack for super cheap to use for my wallet, headphones, and pretty much everything except my phone and keys, which stay on my person at all times when I’m out and about. So much better than filling all of my pockets and still carrying stuff by hand.
Paradox
Because someone decided that pockets don’t look fashionable
No idea why some have fake pockets, that’s a mystery to me
Barswanian
Because women were carrying weapons in them.
Lysbeth
Women’s clothes tend to be designed to be more form-fitting and tight and thin. Pockets that you can put stuff in tend to ruin that. This is also why when women’s clothes have actual pockets, they’re ridiculously small.
LadyIslay
Because not enough people have discovered eShakti. Once you wear custom made clothing WITH POCKETS you will never go back. Clothing without pockets is oppression designed to keep us dependant on purses or men.
Archieve
It’s a conspiracy by the purse industry. Seriously irritating when they do that with pants. Makers go out of their way to make a fake opening seam without the pocket, such wasted effort.
Cass
On the very small upside, at least the ones with fake openings make it very easy to sew in a pocket yourself if you slit it and have it be unnoticeable, unlike ones that don’t even have that much.
Hazel
I did that once accidentally. Tore out the stitches keeping the fake pocket shut.
Ana Chronistic
some of them have real pockets sewn shut, I assume in case the wearer WANTS to keep them “fake” but otherwise they can take out the stitches and have actual pockets
(or to discourage shoplifting, idk)
Kimi
Tbh, being that I wear glasses and have prescription sunglasses, I do tend to have a purse too if I go anywhere (since keeping that, my wallet, my keys, my phone, and menstrual stuff all in my pockets would be a huge pain). I would like a pocket big enough to carry my phone in if I am doing work outside or going on a walk and don’t need all that stuff.
On a side note, I also tend to bring a granola bar with me in my purse too since I am one of those people that gets really hangry when I am hungry. Since I sometimes use public transit, it isn’t like I can keep it in the car, and I don’t like getting hangry.
ANeM
Fun fact in the original recording of Ironic by Alanis Morissette the line was “Like not having pockets on your wedding dress” but was changed to “rain on your wedding day” because the producers told her that wasn’t a relatable experience.
Source: I made it up.
Clif
Too late for the disclaimer. I’ve already quoted you.
Masumi
Hear me out:
* Get used men’s shorts like 3 sizes too big for you
* adjust the waistband to fit you
* It becomes a flare-skirt like thing
* The pockets ARE LARGE ENOUGH TO FIY MY LUNCH
Take that, bag companies :p
Kimi
I wear a size 2 normally in women’s pants. I tried on several size 6’s in one brand and they didn’t fit because they were too small. I am sorely tempted to only get men’s pants, even the ones with the weird hole with a button in the front be damned, as they fit better, are more true to size and have pockets.
JA
I learned recently that the pockets on suit jackets are actually real. They’re sewn closed when made for whatever reason, to preserve the shape of the suit or something, and the buyer has to either cut them open themself or request it be done if they take the suit in for tailoring.
Wizard
It makes sure the pocket can’t snag on something and get damaged in shipping. It also keeps randos from putting their nasty hands in the pockets while the jacket is on display.
Ana Chronistic
oh I didn’t scroll down enough
eh, clothes were made to be modded (though these days I’m so lazy I’m putting up with work clothes I’ve worn for LITERALLY EVER rather than struggle to find anything new)
zee
My favorite (only) skirt has two *real* pockets! That’s can fit my phone! (Pleated skirts are more likely to have pockets since they can be hidden in the pleats).
My highschool was the rare progressive school that let girls wear pants (uniform) so i made the switch. The girls pants were awful and my guy friends were flexing that they could fit their tablets in their pockets so i said fuck it and bought the boys pants. The fit was awkward as hell, went up to like an XL and they still didn’t reach my ankles, you could fit half a person in there with me and my ass was deleted. But i could hold my lunch in my pockets on the walk back to the cafeteria ?
Can’t do that anymore bc i refuse to wear jeans and pants that aren’t a flattering high waist cut, sadge
Hinoron
I am fully in support of all women who want to fight back against defective clothing pockets by the logical tactic of a COLD AND IMMEDIATE STOPPING OF PAYING THESE COMPANIES MONEY FOR DEFECTIVE CLOTHING!
Whine about it all you want, on Twitter, Facebongo, Reddit, this very comment thread, anywhere you like. It doesn’t matter and won’t accomplish anything.
The point where you told those companies their idiotic ideas about female pockets were valid and acceptable to you is the moment when you pulled your plastic card out and gave them money for a defective product.
Schpoonman
You’ll know what to do soon, Joyce. It’ll be scandalous and you’ll feel like you’ve crossed a line past which you can never retreat, but his hands are warm and you’ll like holding them.
Sajuuk-Khar
No no no it’s cool it’s cool, she can hug his arm and then if he interprets this as not platonic she can explain she was just gonna use his mighty body to do chin-ups
zee
Honestly arm hugging > hand holding. It’s more romantic, no sweaty palms, and you can actually keep pace with your taller partner
Rose Red
but then what does she do with the other hand
Schpoonman
I did say “hands” and “them.”
Doctor_Who
Joyce, I know you want to look cute, but why are you wearing one third of a jacket in the dead of winter in the first place?
Take inspiration from Dorothy’s sensible hoodie in the first two panels. It’s possible to look nice without freezing to death.
Needfuldoer
Yeah, what is that thing? It looks like two sleeves held together by a toddler hoodie. Even if she can get it to zip, it’s barely crop-top length. That button-down can’t keep winter out on its own.
Joe’s got his jacket unzipped, so maybe it’s in the 40s?
Plain Marie
Crop top baby hoodie? Is that even a thing? It keeps your arms warm? Maybe?
Needfuldoer
Shrug-hoodie?
shadowcell
Dumbing of Age Book 13: I’m Negative Chalant
Stephen Bierce
You play tricks on my mind
You’re everywhere but you’re so hard to find
You’re not shy or sentimental
You’re so extreme and you get so tempermental
But I’m not looking for a love that lasts
I know what I want and I want it fast
That’s one thing in common that we both share
It’s our need for each other–any time and anywhere and it gets
URGENT… (/Foreigner)
StClair
so URGENT
(a classic, thank you)
Eyebrow
Content – addressable memory activated by line 4,was singing along by line 5. And I’m not even a Foreigner fan.
But thanks for the earworm!
Plain Marie
URGENT, URGent, Urgent, urgent
Needfuldoer
Just don’t leave the Foreigner belt set to “Head Games”.
Sirksome
Lol. Women def pulled the short straw on fashion utility. Or y’know wear gloves I guess.
Savail
But…but gloves cover your FINGERTIPS.
Jamie
It’s the future. There are gloves specifically designed to transmit the electrical conductivity of your fingertips through your gloves so that you can still doomscroll even when it’s cold.
Savail
I don’t care about doomscrolling, I care about evil gloves covering my fingertips!
TerribleTransit
Joyce, what you do with your hands is grab Joe’s. You filthy, filthy pervert you.
Yotomoe
https://imgur.com/a/PbYxj2b
Alternate Ending to yesterday’s strip.
The Wellerman
The cutting room floor is rather wet, in addition to something else. XD
Great work!!!
RacingTurtle
Yotomoe, your work is a delightful gift to this comment section
Doctor_Who
Very well done, but I’m pretty sure Jennifer would have to wait in line to do that behind Asher.
Lucy, of course, gets none. Turns out she’s the Daisy of straight chicks.
Hoboturtle
God damn, that’s worse then being the Lucy of gay chicks.
Shorduie
Excellent as always
newlland(Henryvolt)