Forks
Posted on May 1, 2020 by David M Willis

246 thoughts on “Forks”

  1. OtterBoy1

    This certainly isn’t boring. I am slightly concerned about the wellbeing of some of these people though. Also, whose house is this?

    1. AntJ

      Amazi-Girl’s, now

      1. motorfirebox

        *applause*

      2. Council

        That’s a gorgeous burn

        Like a toaster set to 3-4 minutes

    2. OtterBoy1

      Don’t get me wrong, some of them can eat shit, but also some of them may have been manipulated into this. Anyone trying to get out of this could get into some serious trouble with Blaine’s contacts.

      1. tim gueguen

        I think Blaine will be the one worrying about his contacts. Even if he gets away this will not end well for him.

      2. Segnosaur

        Keep in mind blaine recruited from guys Amazigirl caught breaking the law. Even if there was some “manipulation” they were likely pretty reprehensible people to begin with.

        And… They kidnapped teenagers…. Even a manipulated person should realize “this morning a wrong”.

        1. Needfuldoer

          Reprehensible people, manipulated into doing terrible things by an allegedly charismatic con man who told them what they want to hear…

          [Thinking emoji]

        2. Daniel M Ball

          Clinton voters? Obama Voters? Bush Voters? Take your pick, everyone is reprehensible to SOMEONE, and leaders have to be charismatic (on some level) or nobody follows them. (That’s that whole “Leader” thing, which is quite different from ‘administrator’ or ‘manager’.) The behaviours we see wrt Blaine, and the kids who follow him, are those of people raised without consequences, you know, coddled and having their Self Esteem encouraged without the uncomfortable process of having to learn self-discipline or develop actual self respect.

          You see it with those mass-shooters a lot-especially the school shooters and other truly, honestly, actually reprehensible people.

        3. Sarda

          Can we maybe not pretend that Trump is somehow on an equal footing with even Bush, let alone Clinton or Obama?

        4. Geneseepaws

          Daniel Ball did not even mention The Cheetos. But that’s the picture in the dictionary beside ‘Reprehensible’.

        5. MW

          I mean…Bush was responsible for hundreds of thousands of deaths and the destruction of multiple countries. Obama and Clinton both have their own war crimes to reckon with, in addition to the sexual assault allegations against Bill.

          I’m not saying Trump is a good person – he could fairly be described as a mix of all the worst parts of those presidents – but please don’t lose sight of reality. Obama still dropped bombs on children with gleeful abandon, for all his endless charm.

        6. MW

          …Really could not have asked for a better face on this comment than Asma.

        7. Achallenger

          Here here

        8. thejeff

          Yup, it’s all the same. Democrats did bad things, so there’s no difference worth talking about.

          Every president has been flawed. Trump is in a class of his own, at least in living memory, in terms both of incompetence, malice and blatant corruption.

        9. Sarda

          It’s pretty hypocritical to sit there and tell people not to lose sight of reality while simultaneously shouting “but muh both sides!!!!?!111!”.

          Obama may have presided over some debatably poor military decisions, but he never actively attempted to destroy trust in responsible news reporting, he never worked at dismantling the rule of law, he didn’t plunge the country into a disaster and then spend time encouraging infighting…

        10. Johnny Austin

          E pluribus unum

          It doesn’t matter which splinter group an individual American ascribes to,
          theyy are still, from the viewpoint of those being bombed, defending the
          “Inalienable right” of the American people to elect people to authorize the invasion
          and bombing of thier home.

          If you didn’t send Commodore Perry to Japan, or if he had understood that
          “No means NO” they would not have had the justification to bongoslap you at pearl harbor. (It did have a positive net effect in stopping you from joining the nazi’s)

          If you don’t want people pushing your buildings over and going kaboom at your fun runs
          you could always tell your boys and girls in green to come home.
          Mind your own business for a bit.
          But that’s unlikely.

          It occurred to me the other day that Mexico could designate a 20mile strip along its border and divide it into parcels assigned to various foreign diplomatic missions.

          Eliminate the Mexican/American border altogether.

          Shooting someone entering from Germany or China, England or Iran, might be a bit more sensitive of an issue than it is from Mexico.

          They could set up refugee camps there and give safe harbour to people from American wars.

          I’m pretty sure there’s fuckall you could do to stop something like that.

        11. Meagan

          Thank you for saying this.

        12. Needfuldoer

          What, you don’t remember those eight years of weekly Obama campaign rallies, or all the Obama signs and flags flown at the Occupy protests?

        13. Wizard

          So far Trump has started fewer illegal wars than Obama. Granted, he’s done a shit job of ending the wars he inherited, and he’s still droning people with even wilder abandon, so I’m not giving him much credit.

        14. Needfuldoer

          Yeah, it’s just that all the other dumb shit he says and does drowns it out.

          Yet he’s still held up in some circles as some kind of untarnished pillar of excellence. I think that’s an important distinction; liberals still found fault with Obama at least somewhat regularly, but it makes the news when a conservative breaks lockstep with Trump.

          As the old saw goes, “Democrats fall in love, Republicans fall in line”.

        15. thejeff

          He has however gotten a lot more Americans killed.

        16. thejeff

          I’m pretty that Blaine’s style of abuse has nothing to do with being coddled or having his Self Esteem encouraged. Abusers go back way before the self esteem parenting thing.
          As for that matter do teens gay-bashing and raping.

        17. Autogatos

          Yeah, as a parent that self-esteem comment perplexes me. Last I checked, encouraging a kid’s self-esteem is a *good* thing. I mean obviously teaching empathy and discipline alongside it is important too…but abusers are created by more than just coddling and compliments.

          I was a kid who got a lot of coddling. It didn’t make me abusive, it just made me super anxious about handling things on my own when I first reached adulthood.

          I’d say not consistently condemning bad behavior and not teaching empathy were bigger parenting issues in the bigoted/cruel/bullying/etc kids I knew growing up.

        18. thejeff

          It’s a common attack on modern kids and their parent from certain circles.

        19. Meagan

          To me it sounds like you’re saying the same thing as the other person in different words. You’re saying “not condemning bad behavior” is a contributor to bullying – that sounds like the same thing as a lack of discipline.

          I totally get what the person is saying about self-esteem is saying. I don’t know if it is accurate but it’s basically about overconfidence – having too much faith in your self and your own correctness. Which I’m not sure is what.causes bullying. It seems like bullying is caused more by people being victimized (or witnessing it) and then deciding (not consciously a lot of the time) that they aren’t going to be a victim, so they become a perpetrator instead. Because those seem to be the only two options. This is what many trauma researchers believe and is what I learned when I trained to be a Sexual Assault Counselor.

        20. Meagan

          Anything following the word “should” tends to have very little bearing on actual reality.

          Also, I thought he recruited Ryan’s friends?

        21. Regalli

          Yeah, everyone we’ve seen of the goons so far was an active participant in either the campaign rally fight or the post-stabbing one where AG had redirected them by giving a fake address when she ‘doxxed’ one of Ryan’s other accusers.

          So like. Seriously, fuck those guys. At this rate anyone who’s talking about Ryan positively is I have to assume all-in on the rape, the ‘harass the victims’ campaign, or potentially both.

        22. Autogatos

          I think a few of them were various kids AG busted for bullying Danny (way back in the beginning of the comic when they first met), vandalism, or underage drinking.

          Though there’s an argument to be made for it being unethical to beat someone up for those last two.

        23. Autogatos

          That said I think it *is* perfectly acceptable to punch people who have literally *kidnapped* you, to escape from them.

        24. thejeff

          The kidnapper mooks are Ryan’s 3 “bros” from the rally fight and two more (the black kid and the blond one, both in red) from both the initial Danny gay-bashing and the Sal/Amber doxxing fight. None from the vandalism or other minor crimes.

          The only time I know AG went after underage drinking was when she looking for an excuse to beat up Al and her friends. Obviously none of them are here.

        25. temperaryobsessor

          The law is not a good measure of how bad something is, and Amazigirl does sometimes trick relatively innocent people into fighting her. The thing is most people beaten up for vandalism would just want revenge on Amazigirl and would not be willing to drag innocents into it.

    3. Catullus

      I’d been wondering about the house too! My running theory is that Blaine rented an Airbnb from which to run his scheme.

      1. Regalli

        … Honestly, I’d buy it given how he’s handled the rest of this stupid-ass scheme.

        1. Meagan

          Leaving a nice digital paper trail along with that scooter rental.

        2. Regalli

          Right? It’d be GREAT. Assuming of course Blaine lives through this storyline.

      2. mrnoidea

        Sounds right, since they were in a hotel….two days before?

      3. Reltzik

        That, or it belongs to a frat that Amazi-Girl’s pissed off.

        1. Autogatos

          Maybe the frat house of the Ryan-bros?

      4. Segnosaur

        If it was an airbnb then why did blaine and Ross stay at a hotel the previous night?

      5. Needfuldoer

        I thought maybe it was an unoccupied house his company is remodeling. That would explain the power being on and his vans in the driveway, but not the forks. Maybe those were accumulated from all the times they ordered take-out?

    4. TlalocW

      Mine, and I ant everyone the hell out. Go away on vacation and come back to this shit?

  2. Ana Chronistic

    “DO I‽”

    1. Delicious Taffy

      Nice ampersand.

      1. King Daniel

        An ampers&?

      2. NelC

        Interrobang.

        1. mrnoidea

          Beat me to it in less than a minute.

        2. Delicious Taffy

          Kinky.

      3. mrnoidea

        I do so believe that is an interrobang.

        1. Needfuldoer

          No, that’s when cross-examination gets kinky.

    2. Rose by Any Other Name

      I do love a good interrobang.

  3. Pickacard

    Rip dinobot

  4. Nono

    Wow this situation is a little forked up.

    1. Reltzik

      Just a tineiest bit.

      1. Schpoonman

        I saw that.

    2. Deanatay

      I’m getting Ellie Shelstrop vibes from this comic, srsly.

  5. Stephen Bierce

    THE TICK: SPOOOOOOOOOOOOON!

    1. Dana

      Not in the face! Not in the face!

      1. Bicycle Bill

        Nice “Blazing Saddles” reference.

        1. Deanatay

          It’s actually another Tick reference, but it’s a common expression, so I’ll give it to you.

        2. Bicycle Bill

          I’ve never read, watched, or whatever the Tick, but Dom DeLuise delivers that same line in “Blazing Saddles” during the fight scene that spills into the Busby Berkeley-like dance sequence on the next sound stage.

    2. thejeff

      Neo: There is no spoon.

      1. Deanatay

        There is no Dana only Spoon

        1. Ed Rhodes

          “What a LOVELY singing voice you have!”

  6. The Aussie Bloke

    Eyeball, meet my fork.

    FORK! MEET! EYEBALL!!

    1. Chromedome

      Hamsters and rangers everywhere, rejoice!

  7. Chaucer59

    Holy crap, is WALKY going to come out as bi now, too?

    1. Foxhack

      Hey now, you CAN be confident enough in your heterosexuality to feel okay with people of your same sex checking you out. 😛

      1. 3-I

        Or grabbin’ your butt, apparently.

        1. Foxhack

          I mean isn’t that what pro wrestling is?

          Dudes grabbing each other’s butts?

      2. Meagan

        Totally. As far as I understand the sexuality rules of this universe, orientations are very fixed and Walky is straight. So this is just Walky being awesomely not homophobic and proud of his butt.

      3. Pylgrim

        As a straight man, I can confirm that having a gay guy checking you out is a massive self-esteem boost.

    2. adam Black

      He ate the PIZZA

      1. Alexander Hammil

        The pizza is a SACRED COVENANT

    3. DailyBrad

      He’s casually said he’d go down on a dude for free pizza before, so whether he is or not, he’s surprisingly cool about it considering his bizarre notions of machismo he had.

      1. clif

        So his sexual orientation is casual.

        1. Bicycle Bill

          His sexual orientation is probably the same as mine was at that age — confused.

        2. Chris Phoenix

          Or else he’s het, very secure in it, and simply thinks that pizza is worth doing sexual things that don’t turn him on.

          Or else he knew no one would take him seriously.

        3. Meagan

          I feel like it’s kind of a combination of all of these things.

        4. Daniel M Ball

          at eighteen, with nobody to shame him? his orientation is probably more or less “Yes, please”.

        5. Agemegos

          Yeah, having more of a libido than an orientation at that age is not as odd as his about shoes.

    4. Paradoxius

      He’ll have to be if Danny and Ethan ever get together and then break up…

      1. RacingTurtle

        Guess I’d better put down Ethan/Walky in my shipping calendar for 2025 or so

        1. RacingTurtle

          omg my grav is amazing for this

        2. Deanatay

          You’re not shipping them already? Man, the comment section is letting me down…

        3. 3-I

          I’m shipping Ethan’s Hand and Walky’s Butt.

        4. Meagan

          Hell yeah

    5. Autogatos

      I think Walky is just secure enough to not be homophobic and is just really proud of his butt.

  8. ReFlex76

    “Amazi-Girl with the Hurracanrana!”

    1. Bicycle Bill

      Or as it was called before some pro wrestler stuntman made it his ‘signature move’, a flying leg scissors takedown.

      1. ReFlex76

        I could have called it a Frankensteiner.

    2. Shariku

      I can hear JR screaming now.

  9. Madock345

    I really like where this is going

    Though I was slightly hoping that Joyce and Wally would turn out to have surprising combat skills, just as a callback lol.

    1. Regalli

      Joyce certainly has her Berserker Rage still going on (Dorothy’s the one with the first fork line, Joyce is the one fucking holding a glass to a dude’s face as she threatens to do to him what she did to Ryan, badass under pressure, Joyce!), but yeah, Walky has not had enough fight sequences to develop his own surprising combat skills.

  10. Joe Moose

    Walky, FOCUS!

    1. Jamie

      Look. Walky and Ethan are the two most useless people in a fight here and they both know it.

      1. abysswatcher1993

        Basically men and weenies and women are psychos. John Egbert said, but about trolls. I am applying this to humans in this story.

        1. abysswatcher1993

          are weenies* not “and weenies”. I can’t edit my comments.

      2. lightsabermario

        Walky’s been so used to being the comic relief of any group he’s in, in an actual melee he can’t help assuming that role while everyone else goes all out. He’s essentially Michelangelo. Who knows, he might actually have some moves in him, but he’d never use them while in a group of better fighters.

  11. Kravis

    Oh, dude, these henchmen are so forked!

  12. Cattleprod

    Walky, who thought it would be unmanly to own a second pair of shoes, is offering to let another guy touch his butt. Progress?

    1. RedCat

      I mean, he snook into a LGBT meeting for free pizza, I think he’s pretty secure about his sexuality.

      1. timemonkey

        He didn’t sneak in, it was open to anyone.

    2. timemonkey

      Walky’s original plan was to get man-married, he’s pretty cool with the gay stuff.

      1. King Daniel

        Let us never forget Gary: https://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/03-the-first-step-towards-recovery/walky/

    3. Deanatay

      Walky does not consider homosexual impulses to be unmanly.

      AS HE SHOULDN’T

    4. Autogatos

      I got the impression the shoe thing was less of a “insecure in his masculinity” thing and more of a “What’s the point of being a dude if I can’t use it as an excuse to not have to care about fashion?” sort of way. His immaturity has never seemed to include homophobia.

  13. a/snow/mous/e

    Yeah, so if it wasn’t clear to anyone by now that Walky is onto the DID thing… 😛

    1. Regalli

      Yep, that definitely solidifies it! I think he’d kind of gotten hints before, but I wasn’t sure we knew he’s connected those dots? (I’m still not entirely certain Danny or Ethan have, after all, though I may be forgetting a scene where they make it clear they do.)

      1. Pablo360

        When he’s not deliberately being a doofus or missing social cues, Walky’s pretty smart.

      2. RacingTurtle

        “Huh. You’re, like, a different person, aintcha?” https://www.dumbingofage.com/2019/comic/book-9-comic/04-vote-for-robin/themask/

        1. Regalli

          Ah, right! Completely forgot that strip! Thanks!

      3. Needfuldoer

        Yup. Walky’s irreverent, not oblivious. He pays a lot more attention to things than he lets on.

    2. Agemegos

      I thought he was pretty damned quick on the uptake, DID-wise. See here: https://www.dumbingofage.com/2019/comic/book-9-comic/04-vote-for-robin/themask/

      1. thejeff

        That’s a more blatant clue than Danny had gotten until well after they broke up.

  14. abysswatcher1993

    Ethan know well the lore and also knows about cuteness.

    Also, Joyce isn’t bluffing. The glass cup is a nice callback, Willis.

  15. Tan

    Dumbing of Age Book 10: Everyone Thinks Your Butt’s Cute

    or

    Dumbing of Age Book 10: Dinobot Died in Battle

    1. Regalli

      Dumbing of Age Book 10: I Also Have Forks!

    2. King Daniel

      Dumbing of Age Book X: Are You The One Who Thinks My Butt’s Cute

    3. Tan

      After more consideration, another option is Dumbing of Age Book 10: I Kinda Thought It Was Progress.

      1. Schpoonman

        10 Years Of Dumbing Of Age: The characters suck a little less, maybe.

    4. Keulen

      DoA Book 10: Wanna Feel It?

  16. mrnoidea

    I know how it feels, Walky. It’s good to be proud of your cute butt.

    I still feel awkward saying that. Not because I’m a man (actually may transition into something else soon, though), but because it feels sexist period. I’ve struggled with identifying these things.

    1. mrnoidea

      (I meant it to say I’m proud of my butt too)

      1. NelC

        We know you meant Walky’s butt. Too late to walk it back now.

        1. StClair

          On the contrary, feel free to walk that butt back and forth as many times as you like.

  17. BBCC

    NOT NOW WALKY.

    Glass his face, Joyce.

    1. Kyrik Michalowski

      I mean Walky isn’t going to contribute much to the fight anyway, he has only ever punched 1 person as far as we know.

      1. BBCC

        He can fork someone in the hand. 😛

        1. Kamino Neko

          This keeps up and he’s going to end up forking Ethan.

    2. Newllend(henryvolt)

      Would have been more threatening if she did the thing where you break a glass cup or bottle for a sharp edge.

      1. BBCC

        She prefers to break it on their face.

        1. Regalli

          It makes such a satisfying crunchy sound.

      2. He Who Abides

        That’s what the dude-bro’s face is for.

    3. mrnoidea

      Looks like Amber took care of that guy in the last panel.

      1. BarerMender

        It’s hard to tell, but it looks like she’s upside down with a leg lock on the guy’s neck, while checking Walky’s butt.

        1. Miri

          I was trying to work it out but yeah I think that works 😀

        2. Bicycle Bill

          In wrestling parlance, I think it’s a flying neck scissors takedown.

        3. Needfuldoer

          “Flying Neck Scissors” sounds like a good name for a metal band.

        4. BBCC

          Either that or a hurricanrana.

          Either way, good job, Amber. Lita and Rey Mysterio approve.

    4. Felgraf

      NO JOYCE DO NOT GLASS HIS FACE you hurt your hand pretty bad last time, and glassing can backfire really badly unless you *really* know what you’re doing.

      Stab him with a fork.

      1. butting

        Or kick him in the fork, while his attention’s on the glass.

  18. Kyrik Michalowski

    Where is Sarah and her bat? I wanted to see some teeth flying or Blaine being used as a piñata.

  19. Newllend(henryvolt)

    Can’t tell if that’s Amber or Ethan complimenting Walky’s ass.

    1. Jo Giggles

      Ethan. Amber isn’t tagged

      1. adam Black

        https://www.dumbingofage.com/2020/comic/book-10/03-when-it-crumbles/forks/#comment-1463568

        but AG can throw her voice .

        if she did she tricked walky into slash flirting with Ethan for her spank bank . shame she never learned about danny

    2. Chromedome

      Could be either, but notice her eye in the last panel. I’m convinced she’s scoping out dat butt while flipping a fool.

      1. Needfuldoer

        AG’s trying to calm Amber down a bit.

  20. Rikunda

    And Walky has just been leveled up!

  21. Sporky

    That question won’t help, Walky, they both do!

  22. TlalocW

    Now THAT’S a hurricanrana in the last panel. I thought maybe Ross was doing it to Ballpeen in the last panel of their fight when the kids were escaping, but I couldn’t tell for sure.

  23. Van Jealous

    Music playing in the background….Bob Dylan’s masterpiece about forks….”The Tines They Are A Changin”…..going to bed now.

  24. woobie

    The bad lads are forked!

  25. adam Black

    DID AMAZIGIRL throw her voice behind Ethan to answer walky butt question ?
    ( amber isnt even tagged )

    1. a/snow/mous/e

      I don’t understand, why wouldn’t Ethan think that Walky’s butt is objectively cute?

  26. Mark

    I’m half expecting the end of this strip to be Joyce waking up on the first morning at uni and saying what a weird dream the way this is going…

    1. Segnosaur

      With or without Bob Newhart next to her?

      1. Mark

        I’d be ok with that

      2. Needfuldoer

        I’ve said it before, DoA is Walkyverse!Walky’s dream if DoA gets a Newhart ending.

        If it gets a St. Elsewhere ending, Amber is Tommy Westphall.

  27. DailyBrad

    For some reason, picturing Ballroom Blitz playing.

    Also, I love the alt-text joke.

  28. JessWitt

    No situation too serious.
    No predicament too perilous.
    That Walky can still retain his goofiness.

  29. Agemegos

    What is a playground ball?

    1. Marsh Maryrose

      A thing that you can google?

      1. Agemegos

        I tried Wikipedia and Wiktionary.

    2. SuperZero

      It’s.. a ball? For playing? But not any particular sport. Too bouncy.

      1. Agemegos

        It is somewhere between two-and-a-half inches and two-and-a-half feet in diameter, and somewhere between inflated and turned out of lignum vitae.

    3. Needfuldoer

      In my experience, a usually red, textured, air-filled rubber ball that stings when it hits you in the face, then the bigger kids kick it onto the cafeteria roof and the custodian leaves it up there for months.

      https://www.target.com/p/franklin-sports-8-5-playground-kickball/-/A-13599087

      1. Agemegos

        Thanks.

      2. SuperZero

        No, they are yellow. “Usually red.” Ridiculous.

        1. Needfuldoer

          My school district only bought red ones, and you only ever saw them on the playground at school.

          Of course this was 25+ years ago; for all I know you kids these days only have yellow ones.

        2. Yumi

          I know I’m late, and I know this isn’t important, but I’m seconding “usually red.”

  30. Shane

    Leave some yellow AG butt in the frame on panel 5 where Walky is asking if she likes his butt his appreciated by my.

    BUTT’S DISEASE A SERIOUS AFFLICTION

    1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      But there is hope, through research …

    2. Marsh Maryrose

      Don’t be rude!

      It’s Jacques-Willis Syndrome.

      1. Geneseepaws

        You can have my RDA of interwebz today. That was beyond beautiful.
        But no coffee was wasted.

    3. Bicycle Bill

      Notice how Ethan still can’t keep his eyes off her badonkadonk, either.

    4. Keulen

      It’s too late, Butt’s Disease is too easily spread.

      1. Geneseepaws

        Yer right! A cloth mask won’t even help. You need a little K-Y and a dental- dam. But ya gotta admit, Butts Disease beats being on a ventilator.
        And Like chicken pox,… it’s never All gone. (It’s always in the back of your mind)

  31. Bagge

    Dorothy is… helping?

  32. Bagge

    Walky, stop flirting and do something usefu… OK I see your point. Carry on, I guess.

  33. Zatar

    Damn Walky.

  34. Derek

    This is getting rather cartoony. How did Amber perk up again? Did she take amphetamines?

    1. Mark

      Just needs some 60s era Batman sound effects for it to be complete

    2. Segnosaur

      Well she was sleepy when she was Amber, by she is Amazigirl now… When you have multiple personalities does a lack of sleep for. One personality affect the others? Or do they all feel equally tired?

      1. SuperFroakie82

        I’m sure her body is still very tired, but since Amazi-Girl is so used to taking over at night when Amber tries to sleep, she can probably ignore the tiredness pretty well, at least until it becomes too much for her body to handle and she passes out.

    3. Miri

      And it is GLORIOUS! 😀

    4. Jay

      Adrenaline’s a hell of a kick

    5. BenRG

      Maybe Amber volunteered to be the dolphin brain and Mazie dumped all her fatigue into that persona?

  35. mrnoidea

    Can I offer y’all a good song to go along with this fight scene?

    1. Bicycle Bill

      Why not “Freebird”?
      It worked in “Kingsman: The Secret Service”.

      1. He Who Abides

        That’s a good one, but I’m going to recommend “Coming For You” by The Offspring. I think it fits the tone of this scene.

  36. NinjaNick

    Stick a fork in the butt convo and kick some butt, boys.

  37. Icalasari

    …Now I want to feel his butt, that has to be one FIRM ass ass

  38. Nevermaker

    Okay, I know Amber/Amazi-Girl are both badasses, but is she actually doing a Black Widow-style takedown in that last panel? Daaaaaaaaaamn!

    1. Deanatay

      Amber reads a wide variety of superhero comics.

  39. Mordecai

    Anyone see Amazi-Girl looking at Walky’s ass in panel 6? Haha

  40. brasca1

    Dorothy! That was a missed opportunity to get out a spoon and yell the Tick’s battle cry.

  41. Arianod

    RIP that guy’s nads.

    1. Arianod

      Whoops. I mean his kidneys. Should’t read comics before breakfast.

  42. Acher4

    Awesome scenes!!! Seriously badass!!!

    Also: Walky is the straight guy, some gay men want as friend… 😛

  43. Chris Phoenix

    “I’d be happy to give you a matching scar” – Joyce, do you realize you’re fighting for your life here? Why are you talking? Give him the scar or do something brutal and disabling, and then immediately hurt the next one, until you are safe.

    These kids are all too civilized – except AG and maybe Sarah. They’re trapped in a house with strong and lethal people who have made lethal credible immediate threats, and they are not displaying the necessary willingness to do whatever will most expediently save their lives.

    And that’s after sitting kidnapped in a basement with hours to think about it. Dorothy gave them the wrong pep talk.

    “They’re lining up the prisoners and the guards are taking aim.
    I wrestled with some demons; they were middle-class and tame.
    I didn’t know I had permission to murder and to maim.
    You want it darker? Hineni – I’m ready, my lord.”
    – Leonard Cohen

    1. Daniel M Ball

      if she freaks him out bad enough, she doesn’t have to hurt him. To triumph in every battle is not supreme excellence. Supreme excellence is to triumph without having to fight.

      1. Mark

        If she doesn’t freak him out then shes given away her greatest asset of surprise

      2. Chris Phoenix

        This is not about Joyce triumphing. This is about Joyce surviving.

        Her life is in serious danger. She owes this guy absolutely nothing and she owes herself her life and safety.

        Maybe if she wasn’t trapped with a mobster who just killed her best friend’s dad and mused out loud about killing her and all her friends, and a pack of bros who said they were going to torture her and her friends for fun, then she could reasonably consider whether violence was appropriate.

        Maybe if she were so psychologically weak that she would be traumatized more by hurting people who deserve it than by being beaten with a baseball bat, she should try to avoid “having” to hurt him.

        TLDR: Your argument is off-topic to the point of irrelevance. Joyce’s practical and moral duty is to survive and help her friends survive. To do that, her best strategy is probably to go Ender’s Game or HPMOR on them. Unleash her killing instinct and do whatever it takes to 100% disable all the bad guys.

        Because any alternative makes it likely that they catch at least one of her friends and either torture or kill them. Blaine still has a lethal weapon. Joyce’s friends are out-muscled, and some of the bros probably have knives.

        Their only advantage is that the bros under-estimate them. The only way this much talking improves the chances of the good guys is if it makes the bros under-estimate them more, or gives more time to cut more feet free.

        Maybe Willis just wants to string out the fight for another month until Becky arrives. But I’m writing about real life. Sure, if the kids got out safely, they shouldn’t run back just to glass the kidnappers. But they are not safe, not remotely. They should do whatever it takes to get safe with maximum probability.

        Talking has failed. Running has failed. Restrained fighting will probably fail. If they can escape – not “triumph” but escape – by trying their damnedest to hurt the kidnappers as viciously as possible, then that is probably their best course of action.

        (We’ve already seen that in this universe, someone can take a knife from an attacker, stab him multiple times, and walk free. Someone can slash an attempted rapist’s face with a glass, permanently disfiguring him in front of witnesses, and the law doesn’t punish her. So they probably don’t have to worry about legal repercussions from doing what they have to do to escape a lethal kidnapping.)

        1. Chronos

          …HPMOR? What’s that?

        2. Corsair114

          Presumably this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Potter_and_the_Methods_of_Rationality

        3. BBCC

          Shitty Harry Potter fanfic.

        4. Delicious Taffy

          Is there any other kind?

        5. thejeff

          Yeah. I read a bunch of HP fanfic some years back and while Sturgeon’s Law definitely applies there was some good stuff mixed in.
          HPMOR is kind of in a world of it’s own though – for the ways in which it is shitty and for how extreme its fans are.

        6. BBCC

          Sure there is. Not all of it is the height of literature, but there’s plenty of cute fluff, well written missing scenes, and interesting AUs. It depends what you like and where you look.

        7. Kali

          It’s very odd to see a TL;DR in the upper portion of a long post…

    2. BenRG

      Remember, like it or not, they’re teens and they’re still unconsciously playing by comic book rules. Curiously, Blaine is consciously playing by comic book rules and his mooks are so dumb that they can’t help but follow his lead!

    3. Vulcanodon

      This comment is late, but surviving isn’t the only thing on Joyce’s mind. Ever since she was assaulted the first time, she’s had things she wish she could say to one of these guys. Stuff that’s been turning over and over in her head.

      If it doesn’t have the desired effect, she’ll cut them though.

    4. deathjavu

      How on earth is the conclusion you come to “go maximum violence” from HPMOR when the main character goes to great lengths NOT to cause more pain and explains why they think that’s bad? That you can draw such an opposite conclusion from what was written is kind of frightening.

  44. TrueVCU

    The Last Temptation of Ethan Siegal

    1. Council

      Last? Not even halfway to the second act.

  45. Keulen

    I like how Walky and Ethan are just standing there talking about Walky’s butt while all this fighting is going on around them.

  46. Shadotterdan

    I think the bros are referring to the stab wounds not the scar from the glass. DO IT ANYWAY!

  47. BenRG

    “Avengers assemble!“

  48. Willoughby Chase

    No sporks? For shame.

  49. Coma

    Off topic: Seeing Amazi-Girl without cape (and her belt) reminds me of the Cat’s Eye-Anime I watched quite some time ago.

  50. Chronos

    Dorothy, those are those useless fast food plastic forks. It’s better than even money they won’t even puncture the skin.

    1. King Daniel

      It’s not the skin you go for…

  51. Chris

    Unfortunately, I don’t believe any of them will get in trouble. When all is said and done here, the cops will believe all of the kids are simply having a frat party, toedad will have escaped and Blaine will talk his way out of it, as an “adult”… the fact that just about all of the ‘kids’ are legal adults won’t matter, because whoever shows up will either treat them as ‘kids’ or be compromised by Blaine’s organization.

    1. DarkoNeko

      I doubt Toedad is in shape to escape anything…

    2. PiotrW

      I believe Toedad is dead…

  52. DarkoNeko

    Damnit Walky, you’re such a flirt

  53. SpaceshipPilot

    Time and a place, boys, time and a place.

  54. PiotrW

    You know, I’d actually want to see more of Joyce confronting Ryan’s dude-bros verbally. I wonder if they actually realize what he did to her? And if they are actually okay with him roofing and raping a girl?

    1. Chronos

      I bet they are largely okay with it.

    2. BenRG

      I’m sure that they’re ultra-okay with it. It’s what alpha males do, right? Take what they want whenever they want it? That why being left in the ICU by a girl after being left permanently disfigured by another girl angers them so much: It is a contravention of what they think is their natural social roles.

    3. Regalli

      At least some of them went to a fake address AG had posted to redirect them from doxxing the other women who came forward (we know of at least three.)

      So yeah, they know at the very least he’s been accused and react with violence to the suggestion. Given the way Ryan talked about Joyce in his last appearances, I don’t think he’d deny it, just say they had it coming to them. Seriously, fuck them all.

  55. ValdVin

    Walky, I don’t want to touch it, but how else am I gonna hear that hollow “ptung” it makes when I bounce it on asphalt?

  56. Rabisch

    Joyce has found her new motivation in life.

  57. poofdepoof

    Question — why did Ethan think Amber leaving was progress for her?

    1. bemisawa

      So, as I understand it, it’s because a bit part of the initial trauma that led to her beginning to disassociate into Amazi-Girl (to suppress and wall off the feelings that Amber was feeling, since she seemed to be scared of that anger and that violence within herself, and didn’t know how else to control it) was Ethan getting taken hostage by Sal. Therefore, any threat of harm to Ethan potentially sets off major trauma. However, in this case, the right thing for her to do in order to help everyone was to leave and return as Amazi-Girl – and, despite the no doubt enormous anxiety that likely would cause, she buckled down and did it. And with anxiety / trauma triggers that significant, her being able to keep it together is kinda a big deal.

  58. Edward

    Adulting is soup, and I am a fork.

  59. Alan in DC

    AG throwing a leg strangle on one of the bad dudes while eyeing Walky’s butt in the last panel.
    That girl knows how to multitask!

    1. Kali

      It’s just one of those things, she already set the maneuver in motion, gotta wait for it to finish, might as well take a gander while you’re there, I mean, might be more prudent to be planning the next maneuver, but she was either reminded of the cuteness of the butt, or informed very recently that amber finds it cute and was like “You know, I have not looked, i should add that to my To Do List” and realized the opportunity.

  60. Julez

    Things seem to be going well if they have time to quip.

    1. BenRG

      You must always make time to quip in a fight. That’s one of the rules of the superhero world!

      1. Bicycle Bill

        Right.  Saving your best lines for when the fight’s over (and the baddie is dead or unconscious) deprives you of your audience.

  61. RowenMorland

    Walky gets the Ethan-Amber threesome. Danny D:<

  62. Autogatos

    I think this strip made me realize just how short most of the main characters are, and as a fellow short person who was often mistaken for a child in college, I appreciate this.

  63. Felian

    wtf walky why now 😀

    also “i’ve got forks” is the greatest battlecry ever.

  64. Liliet

    God bless Walky’s lack of sexuality hangups.`

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