213

Steal
Posted on August 17, 2021 by David M Willis

213 thoughts on “Steal”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    “your thing is dumb and also I hate it but I will totes get a better your thing and also in a cooler way than you did” = Malaya’s whole life

    1. RassilonTDavros

      That’s probably my favorite aspect of Malaya as a character.

      1. MaximumZero

        Malaya: Empress of Fakey

        1. Deathjavu

          This. My god Malaya, at least try to be subtle in your hypocrisy. Or at least less grating to those around you.

        2. Rosicrucian

          College freshmen are never subtle in their hypocrisy.

        3. Wagstaff

          You’ve obviously never seen the more intelligent ones.

          But hopelly, those who are that smart are those who would be smart enough to realize that cooperation is not only morally but mathematically optimal.

      2. Pylgrim

        That’s a strange way of spelling “despicable”.

    2. Hrafn

      If nobody was around for Malaya to one-up, would she still exist?

      1. HeySo

        If a tree fell in a forest, it’s because Malaya kicked it down and if a tree didn’t fall in a forest, it’s because Malaya allowed it to be so. Ergo, we can determine that if nobody was around to one-up, that’s only because Malaya didn’t allow them around.

        Thus, in conclusion, the real question is: Would anyone else exist, if Malaya didn’t allow for it?

        ..hold up, I might be thinking of Chuck Norris. My bad.

        1. Wagstaff

          Seeing the ridiculousness laid out plain as day like this is really helpful for Sal and others like her.

          She’s not trapped inside someone else’s dysfunctional world. She’s living NEXT TO someone trapped inside their OWN dysfunctional world.

        2. Wagstaff

          Also, I hate to admit it, but there’s a part of me that really wants to feel bad for Malaya.

          I just kinda find it hard to believe that she would go out of her way to be a bully just for the sake of being a bully, that there might be something in her past for which she is instigating such denigration of others as an unhealthy coping mechanism.

          Regardless, like most people, I think ill of those who denigrate others to feel better about themselves.

  2. Doctor_Who

    Sal: (Ha, no way, nothing is cooler than stealing)

    Malaya arrives with a large bouquet.

    Sal: What th- how tha hell did ya get those?

    Malaya: Get this – Marcie just gave me some because she likes me. That’s way cooler than stealing them. It takes less effort and shows that I’m admired. Shame no one would do that for you, right?

    Sal: (Dammit!)

    1. UrsulaDavina

      And thus began the Indiana University Flower War of 20xx, orsome other cool name for an esclating series of flower based escpades.

      1. Rabid Rabbit

        Please tell me IU has a botany department with a large greenhouse full of exotic plants for them to devastate.

        1. Edwin I Callahan

          It does indeed. Actually, Malaya and Sal would be running a real risk setting their flower war in it. The IU botany department is very protective of their greenhouse.

      2. eh, whatever

        the Indiana University Flower War of Fluid Present

        1. Steelbright

          I’d read that novel

  3. Citizen Octopus

    Oh, Malaya. You try SO hard…

    1. Needfuldoer

      Malaya is very trying.

      1. Keulen

        She really is.

  4. Yumi

    Ah, Malaya and their…ways…

  5. King Daniel

    “These’re some nice flowers I have. It would be a shame if anyone stole these gorgeous, sweet-smelling flowers I don’t really want from me.”

  6. Thag Simmons

    Malaya, what exactly do you want from Sal?

    1. Spencer

      For Sal to be honest, except when Malaya thinks she’s being fake.

      Sal can’t be a Cool Badass Biker Chick because that’s fake, but also if she ever acts out of that image she’s betraying what she created.

      Simple.

      1. Thag Simmons

        It doesn’t seem like there’s any way for Sal to please Malaya. They don’t want Sal to change or improve, they just want to dislike her and feel superior to her.

        1. StClair

          Bingo.

        2. Demoted Oblivious

          Yes, she is a bingo.

        3. Carl Muckenhoupt

          Replace “Sal” with “anyone” and that’s a pretty fair summary of Malaya’s character from Shortpacked onward.

        4. Eclipsa

          THIS.

    2. HeySo

      “Malaya, what exactly do you want from Sal?”

      I wanna say “dick”- not for the sake of being crude, but because Malaya chasing down things in all the wrong ways is just exceptionally to character.

      1. HeySo

        Then again, I suppose the same could be said for Sal. :S

  7. Schpoonman

    Oh my god, go away, Malaya.

    1. brionl

      Go away kid, you bother me

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsfv9KpNMmI

  8. James Starkey

    Way to (almost) show you (don’t) care Malaya.

  9. BBCC

    Sure, sweetie, whatever floats your ‘half contrarian half jealous half superiority need’ boat. 😛

    1. Sirksome

      Malaya deserves some respect here. It’s hard to be aloof and apathetic, while also secretly wanting those things, but not really because actually unironically enjoying things isn’t cool. It’s a delicate balancing act making sure no one actually knows what your deal is.

      1. Jamie

        No, not really. Teenagers do it all the time.

    2. Spencer

      Actually you know what, I wonder if Malaya’s being a super turbo butthole above her usual standards of merely being a turbo butthole because Sal’s engaging in something honestly. She has a flower on her desk, she is enjoying the flower, and Malaya already saw Sal be a fakey biker chick who obviously deliberately cultivated a persona that would make everyone thinks she’s cool and badass, and Sal not being that right now is freaking Malaya out because Malaya herself still struggles with “fakey” feelings.

      1. Sirksome

        You either die a genuine or live long enough to see yourself become the fakey!

      2. Needfuldoer

        In Malaya’s world, everyone play-acts a role they’re not ‘supposed to’ deviate from.

        That sounds like projection of her insecurities about her own sense of self.

      3. thejeff

        I do agree with the analysis, but I’m not really sure Malaya’s being much worse than normal. She has her occasional better moments, but this seems pretty much her baseline.

        1. Spencer

          I dunno, I don’t think her treatment of Sal has ever been for anything but Sal’s own behaviour and, at least in my interpretation, Malaya’s hate of fake people like Sal, Mary and Lucy(?).

          But now Sal’s doing something that’s true to herself, she is enjoying a gift from a friend like she wants to, and Malaya’s still acting up.

        2. thejeff

          Except that Malaya interprets all of Sal’s behavior as fakey with little evidence she’s ever been right.

          I mean, you’re right that Malaya hasn’t harassed her for doing something like this, but then she has harassed for just walking into their room – like the time with Fuckface’s light.

        3. BBCC

          Malaya DID crank it up a bit when Marcie was mad at Sal, as a way of ‘taking Marcie’s side’, but Marcie’s been asking her to be nicer so who tf knows.

    3. Yumi

      It’s nice that Malaya’s shirt represents their personality like that.

      (Also, on DYW’s end, it’s nice how it’s a repeat shirt. I appreciate the rotating but not unlimited wardrobe.)

  10. Mr. Random

    Now who’s the performative poseur, Malaya?

  11. Cmasta1992

    God shut up Malaya no one cares

  12. Sirksome

    Flowers are nice…too bad Malaya isn’t.

  13. Wagstaff

    Malaya, are you really THAT eager to denigrate others that you said something as desperate as THAT?

    *plays “Anything You Can Do (I Can Do Better)” by Irving Berlin on Voxola PR-76*

    1. WanderingLynx

      What a glorious choice for tonight’s soundtrack

      1. milu

        Nice!
        As a follow-up and in the same vein, Santino Fontana “I could if I wanted to”

  14. Stephen Bierce

    So don’t delay, act now, supplies are running out
    Allow if you’re still alive, six to eight years to arrive
    And if you follow, there may be a tomorrow
    But if the offer’s shunned
    You might as well be Walkin’ On The Tsun…

    1. Demoted Oblivious

      Oooo oo. Very nicely done!

  15. Nayann Martinelli

    If someone robs the flower shop, we know who the criminal is.

    1. Jamie

      *points at Danny*

  16. Carla's #2 Fan

    Does hovertext imply that Malaya has a crush on Sal?

    1. Wagstaff

      I sure hope not. Otherwise such a relationship might just end up like Ruth and “Jennifer”.

      1. Thag Simmons

        Alas, Sal is extremely straight

        1. Wagstaff

          And to think I actually found Malaya attractive?!?!

          I hope Marcie subjects her to Death by Snu Snu!!!

        2. WanderingLynx

          I can only think that if Malaya kicks the bucket, the others could invite Ruth to the derby team, therefore improving it 1000%. Plus, Ruth needs friends, and a safe outlet for her rage too; and with her background in hockey she’d kick ass hardcore.

          Alas, death by SnuSnu is too nice for Malaya.

        3. Wagstaff

          Is WWE still a thing? If so, Malaya and “Jennifer” would be PERFECT for it!

          Still though, Malaya subjected to Death by Snu Snu would make for a pretty neat SlipShine, or even one of Yotomoe’s marvelous drawings!!!

        4. WanderingLynx

          Yotomoe spoil us, that’s true. His art is so good this would be the only instance I’d legit like to see Malaya anywhere – And considering “Jennifer” has shown a capacity to be better Malaya hasn’t exhibited, I’d request her to kick said jerk’s ass with her “monster cheerleader thighs” (quote by Ruth, if memory serves?)

          I’d be the good I want to see in the world but my art is too subpar |’DD

        5. Wagstaff

          Oh come on, I’m willing to reckon that your art skills are at least a little better than mine!

          Hopefully yours don’t also cap out at photoshoping crazy internet memes……

        6. WanderingLynx

          REPLYING HERE BECAUSE I CAN’T CONTINUE THE THREAD FOR SOME REASON: Wagstaff, you’re awesome and this meme made me cackle. Do not stop making memes 8D

        7. Needfuldoer

          If you want to see (official but non-canon) Derby Ruth, then good news!

          https://mobile.twitter.com/damnyouwillis/status/1360786483880296450

        8. WanderingLynx

          Best thing I’ve seen tonight, and I can only pray to Willis that it happens one day. Thank you so much for showing me this ;A; ♥

        9. Demoted Oblivious

          Marvel, DC et al. take note. THIS is how you put women of power (i.e. women) together in a single frame. Not because rolly derby is a ‘woman sport’, but because they came together naturally over a shared interest (which conveniently was not ‘men’).

          caveat: I am not a woman and obviously it’s not my place to speak on women’s issues, I wanted to speak up in favour of such and support popularizing it going forwards. Any offense caused herein is my own. mea culpa

    2. Clif

      I’m glad someone understood the alt text.

      That someone is not me.

      1. Some1

        Nah, it’s pretty much a meaningless sentence. Tsundere basically translates to someone who is aloof yet lovestruck. In english the alt text would roughly translate to Malaya has never met an aloof she hasn’t lovestruck.” Actually maybe that does work?

    3. WanderingLynx

      As CarlaGODDESS herself said: “Shoves is not Loves”

      I super hope not. It’d be the most ironic possible fate for Malaya but I wouldn’t subject Sal (who’s word-of-Willis confirmed straight) to be crushed on by such a jerk. Not even for said jerk’s punishment.

  17. newlland(Henryvolt)

    Just get a cooler looking flower, if you ask me roses might as old fashioned as it gets but it’s a true classic that doesn’t go out of style.

    1. Zach

      You want garlic flowers, then. Or proteas, but my favorit by the metrics of ‘cool’ are scabiosa pods.

      I prefer Bells of Ireland, myself. MUCH cooler things are out there but you won’t find them at your local florist’s.

      1. Clif

        Sun flowers are always cool.

        1. Genesee

          Aspergillium is totally awesome.

        2. GeneseePaws

          Misled by Otto carrot . purple starburst allium is what I wanted to suggest.

    2. WanderingLynx

      I love red lilies the most, but I can’t have any because they’re highly toxic to cats TwT

      If it’s for Malaya, tho, I’d give them a big ol’ Rafflesia. Match made in heaven – It’s even parasitic like them!

      1. egg egg

        I feel ya, Lynx. Lilies are my favorite too, but my cats are way more important.

        Love when I give my cats some cat grass though.

      2. Zach

        Wow, it grows like a mold?!
        Thanks for the link

  18. TemporalShrew

    Malaya.

    Shut.

    1. chuckroast

      The fuck.

      1. Tawnee

        up up down down left right left right b a start

        1. Delicious Taffy

          [Disco Mode Unlocked]

  19. DailyBrad

    Malaya is weirdo, but like, that’s their thing, it has grown on me to an extent.

    Sal stopping to smell the flower is honestly pretty cute. I like that she can appreciate stuff like this, which runs counter to what a lot of people might assume about her.

  20. MrSmith

    Panel 4 is probably my favourite Sal face (that doesn’t quite sound right)

    1. pararell spade

      We have been getting pretty good Sal faces recently.

  21. Delicious Taffy

    I love Sal’s dismissal and sass, here. She’s giving Malaya nothing, and now they want what she’s got. Their transparent denial of that want is also very good.

  22. Josh Spicer

    Begone Malaya.

  23. He Who Abides

    FAKEY!

  24. ADLegend21

    awww Malaya IS envious! Love seeing Sal be happy though, more of that!

  25. woobie

    French fries are apparently much better when they are stolen from my plate.
    Flowers are the same.

    1. Clif

      Can confirm. Stolen frys always taste better.

      1. Yumi

        Clif is a seagull, so he knows.

        1. Sam

          woobie knows that already, who do you think is stealing their fries in the first place.

        2. Demoted Oblivious

          One thing alone is better than stolen food. Stealing the last piece of the food.

          Stealing the hot and perfect *first* piece is pretty sweet too.

        3. thejeff

          Oh, I’d never steal the last piece of food. That’s rude.

          Possibly half of it, leaving the other half to be the last piece. Possibly all the pieces before it, but you never take the last piece.

        4. Demoted Oblivious

          There’s always another half-piece left. – Xeno’s Parasnacks

        5. woobie

          ha!

        6. milu

          the last piece may never be eaten.

          Not even by they who hath ordered the fries and through more or less clenched teeth pronounced the correct formula: “help yourselves to some of my fries”.

          Whomsoever partaketh of the last half-fry is the scum of the earth. Such is the rule.

          The last half-fry shall always be deposited at the altar whereat our Godly Overlords, who hath passed this law unto the realm, shall be worshipped.

          all praise our Rodent Overlords.

        7. Wagstaff

          Hopefully ducks aren’t gonna eat it.

          It interferes with their migration patterns, and depending on what food it is, it could damage their ability to fly.

  26. WanderingLynx

    Sal smelling the flower is so tender. Of course Malaya wasn’t going to let that stand.

    Jealousy or not, there’s only one faker in this room and it ain’t Sal. I can’t imagine what it has to be like to share living quarters with someone who’s decided beforehand everything you do is to be judged. I’d dare say that the only person in this wing who has it worse is Roz.

    1. Demoted Oblivious

      I can’t decide if Malaya and Mary would join forces into an axis of evil hags (fusion), or if their proximity to each other would result in some kind of runaway criticality effect resulting in the destruction of that wing of the door (fission).

      1. Delicious Taffy

        They’d stack on top of each other as material for a much stronger force of rudeness, with more powerful effects (Xyz)

      2. Thag Simmons

        Malaya has no love for Mary, so probably the latter

  27. Yumi

    Maybe Malaya will go break into a greenhouse, get caught, have to work there to prevent them from getting her in trouble, discover their love of helping plants grow, and become a botanical artist.

    Or not, but it’d be pretty wild if that was my prediction that came true.

    1. Wagstaff

      Hmmm… has she really shown any hobbies of hers besides roller derby and intimacy with who she perceives as the “hot guys l”?

      1. thejeff

        I don’t know if it counts as a hobby, but she is taking an art class.

        Where she gets to show up Mary by making progress rather than drawing the same anime figure every time.

      2. Yumi

        This is kind of a weird place for this, since this comment in particular doesn’t bother me, but I’m going to request that you please not interact with me/respond to my comments going forward. Past this thread, I’ll do the same in regard to you.

    2. Wagstaff

      *”hot guys”

  28. StClair

    Bye Felicia Malaya.

  29. Kyrik Michalowski

    That’s the spirit Sal, don’t acknowledge her bullshit and she’ll have no power over you.

    Also it seems like Malaya might be more insecure about some things than I previously thought. Still no excuse for acting a grade-A bongo.

  30. LiterallyJustSomeGuy

    Awww, Sal likes the flower! Does this mean that Sal… likes… Danny???!?

    1. Spencer

      Platonically, yeah. Other than Marcie, Danny is Sal’s closest friend in the comic thus far, but he’s still someone she kept at arms length and really only engaged with him on her terms, which were by and large “let’s never define what this means because if we do that then it becomes about Labels rather than Feelings.”

      Sooooo right now she’s working her way up towards “Danny actually means the nice things he says to me, he isn’t secretly just trying to get into my pants or attain emotional blackmail.”

  31. ReFlex76

    Malaya trying to out-tsundere Sal

  32. TrueVCU

    Jesus Christ, Malaya, leave us with SOME subtext to work with

    1. Clif

      Stolen subtext always tastes better.

      1. Demoted Oblivious

        The only thing better than stolen subtext is stealing the last bit of subtext… wait

  33. NinjaNick

    *sprays Malaya with Febreze*

  34. Ralph Oscar

    Can’t STAND Malaya’s mullet. So gross and unattractive.

    1. Delicious Taffy

      ??? The hell are you talking about? That’s not a mullet by far??

      1. Needfuldoer

        If anything, it’s more “Liza Minnelli”.

        1. Spencer

          I’m pretty sure it’s a haircut in Splatoon.

          Malaya is an Inkling.

  35. Rognik

    Methinks Malaya is in denial too much.

    1. Demoted Oblivious

      This dramatic engine deserves more recognition, and we deserve more fuckface.

  36. Bagge

    I’m calling it. Fuckface will eat that flower.

    1. Demoted Oblivious

      God damnit fat fucking thumbs mobile tiny bloody buttons shit piss. grrrr

      This dramatic engine deserves more recognition, and we deserve more fuckface.

      1. Wagstaff

        You know what I wonder?

        What if in the future, Willis makes some kind of some kind of bizarre off the walls DOA story, and in the end, it all turns out to be Fuckface’s dream?

        1. Demoted Oblivious

          1980’s Dallas
          2020’s Willis

          NoooooooOOOO!

        2. Wagstaff

          I don’t get it.

          But I was picturing the end of it being Fuckface waking up in the canon DOA timeline.

        3. Demoted Oblivious

          Dallas wrote of an entire… season? i think, as a dream of one of the characters.

  37. BenRG

    Sal in panel 4: *Sniff* “Oh, Danny!”

    If Malaya hadn’t come back to remind her that she is jealous and insecure, she probably would have had the time to realise what she was thinking as matters stand, the thought is going to have some time to roll around inside her head a few times.

    1. Tan

      I really don’t think that’s an ‘Oh Danny’. I think she just really appreciates having some flowers to brighten things up. Now if left alone she MIGHT have been able to get that train of thought to what a thoughtful gesture it was on Danny’s part, but Malaya is Malaya.

    2. egg egg

      Personally, I read it as Sal rightfully thinking that the best way to annoy Malaya is to just continue enjoying her flowers despite the ribbing.

  38. Kravis

    A “cooler” way to get a flower is to receive it, Malaylay.

  39. PiotrW

    What’s up with women and flowers anyway? Why do you like them? Explain yourself, please 🙂

    1. Tan

      They are pretty and smell nice, yo.

    2. Delicious Taffy

      What’s up with British “people” and tea, anyway? What’s up with dogs and sniffing stuff? What’s up with air and getting inhaled?

      1. Needfuldoer

        And what is the deal with the moon? We landed on the moon. We see at night because of sunlight reflected off of the moon. Ancient civilizations worshipped the moon. But what has it done for us lately? The tides? Is that all?

        1. eh, whatever

          Keeping the Earth’s rotation axis from tumbling about as much as occasionally happens on Mars. 🙂

          (Mars has traces left by glaciers on its equator somewhere, but no plate tectonics.)

    3. eh, whatever

      You don’t like flowers?

    4. Keulen

      Some of them smell pretty nice and almost all of them look pretty. I can’t blame women for liking them, and as a man if I ever got flowers as a gift I’d probably like them too.

    5. Sam

      Flower pretty. Sparks joy.

    6. egg egg

      Flowers are pretty and sometimes edible.

  40. Needfuldoer

    She/they jelly.

  41. Varius

    When did Malaya go from “she” to “they?”

    1. Varius

      And, it is weirdly appropriate that my avatar is Cara.

      1. RacingTurtle

        https://www.dumbingofage.com/2020/comic/book-11/01-this-bright-millennium/pronouns/

        Here you go!

  42. RacingTurtle

    Sal’s poster is definitely based on a real-life guitar…diagram? art piece? that exists somewhere, right?

    1. Needfuldoer

      It looks like a HSS Stratocaster, but with either two-tone paint or a bigger than normal pickguard. (Probably to make it recognizable but different enough to not incur Fender’s wrath.)

  43. Rabisch

    Sal is just so sweet… She looks so happy with her flowers ♡. And she has ever found a secret weakness of Malaya that will be very useful for Marcie to know. I can’t wait to see Malaya’s reaction when her girlfriend will give them a big bouquet of beautiful and fragrant flowers♡. Maybe with Sal seeing all in the background thinking somethingon on the line of “The worker must have bread, but she must have roses, too.” and smile.

  44. Human Bean

    ‘kay, so, I totally understand people being irked by Malaya’s shitty behaviour. But, still, seeing all this Malaya hate stings a little bit because they mean a lot to me.

    You know that strip where Malaya was like “Eh, not sure I’m actually a woman, but [gestures at own body] can’t really argue with this”? That’s pretty much exactly me. And I didn’t know it was a thing, y’know? I guess I believed that’s what most people felt like, if they ever thought critically about the concept of gender. But, reading the comment section, I discovered that this may actually not be the way cis people usually feel?
    I’m still not sure if I’m actually non-binary or just feel uncomfortable with feminity because of internalized misogyny (got a LOT of that, sadly). But… this comic made me feel seen, in a good way, and so I kinda love Malaya, shitty attitude and all.

    1. Needfuldoer

      I don’t think anybody here hates Malaya because of that. It’s all the shitty attitude and accusing everyone else of being insincere or ‘fakey’. I think that’s a projection of her/their own insecurities. “I don’t know what I am, so nobody else does either! They’re all faking it! Fakey! Hey wait, that doesn’t fit the character I mentally cast you as… Fakey!”

    2. MrSmith

      I’m a straight, white male and I can tell you the reason I dislike Malaya is because of her bullying attitude towards Sal

    3. Buli-buli

      I can understand being defensive about a character you see yourself in.

      But, I can assure you my problems with Malaya all boil down to her being an aggressive version of Holden Caulfield (The Catcher in the Rye).

    4. eh, whatever

      Yup, cis here. I’ve always felt that the people of the same gender were in some basic way like me, and the others were The Other. Not everybody has that.

    5. Spencer

      Take it from someone who projected really hard onto Amber and her struggles with mental illness and self-worth as a result of an abusive upbringing, and consequently took it really, really, really badly when Amber’s mental health reached a nadir, she started lashing out, and the comments section wasn’t too kind, because of course they weren’t, many of them had been on the receiving end of Amber’s actions she was engaging with at her lowest point as much as I lived in fear of ever engaging in them.

      It’s okay to find identity and value in fictional characters, it’s okay to see yourself in them, but someone saying “this character sucks” is never going to be a reflection of anyone who identifies with that character, because an actual real life human being not only never fully maps onto a fictional character, a type of being that by design is a caricature of real life that exists to convey a story, feelings, beliefs, ideas, and thoughts, every actual real life human being has a thousand complexities going on in their lives that a fictional character just doesn’t have enough time in the day to be drawn experiencing.

    6. WanderingLynx

      AFAB enby here and honestly, for the longest time I was like “eeeh, I’m a soft butch lesbian and that’s it”. Exactly like Malaya said, I found difficult to argue with “all this” – In summer I’m the first one to ditch shirts and ties for shorts and sleeveless shirts with indecent cleavage. My #thing with gender isn’t so much dysphoria as it’s disconnection, and a sense that to me it was performative.

      It’s the only time I’ve liked Malaya. And that’s not a reflection on you – It’s just that a character that voiced a #relatable thing about gender happens to be a big bully. If you’d like to talk more about enby struggles and how the notion of internalized misogyny murks the waters on self-discovered I’m 100% game, tho. Sorry that the comments’ section frustration makes you feel badly :<

    7. thejeff

      If it helps, most of us disliked Malaya long before there were signs they were non-binary.

      I definitely like her more since then, since we’ve seen some indication of what’s driving her and thus the potential for character growth.

    8. Sam

      I’m glad you feel seen but the reason why I hate Malaya is because she reminds me of bullies I have had in real life. If she turned around and had an attitude adjustment and apologised for lashing out at Sal because of her own insecurities, I might not instantly love her, but my opinion would shift in a positive direction.

      Can promise you that it is nothing to do with the gender stuff. That’s the one aspect of Malaya I actually like a fair bit because it shows her more vulnerable sides and humanises her. If she talked about that more and called people fakey less, I’d like her more.

      Kind of like how I hate Jennifer but I loved when Ruth and Jennifer interacted because it brought out better sides of her that we otherwise wouldn’t have gotten to see.

      1. Human Bean

        “I’m glad you feel seen but the reason why I hate Malaya is because she reminds me of bullies I have had in real life.”

        That sounds very understandable. I’m sorry you had to deal with abusive people, and I absolutely agree that the way Malaya acts towards Sal is not cool.
        Thank you for your kind words.

    9. Keulen

      My dislike for Malaya is entirely because of her shitty behavior towards other people, not because of her non-binary gender or anything like that. And I disliked her for that shitty behavior long before that gender identity was revealed in this comic. If Malaya would stop being such a jerk to other people, my views on her as a character would improve.

    10. Alex

      That’s me too! I never felt like a woman but I look like one 🙁

      I haven’t decided what my gender is exactly but Booster is my avatar for a reason.

    11. Demoted Oblivious

      It is beautiful that you are able to identify with a character and feel seen, and you have my empathy for feeling attacked because there are other aspects of said character people don’t like.

      For what it’s worth, your openning up here like this, and sharing your feelings, makes you different from Malaya over pretty much the thing that people dislike about Malaya. You are open and vulnerable and deserve love, recognition and pride in yourself. Malaya is judgemental and agressively attacks others, undermining them to build up her image of herself. That does not mean she has zero redeeming features. I hope you feel better about yourself, and I will try to restruct my dislike comments of her behaviour to exactly that aspect, rather than generalized *gestures* all of her.

      1. Alex

        Okay but imagine being a questioning afab person and never, ever seeing yourself represented in the media. Every afab that wears mans clothing or lives a man’s life turns out to be totally cis in the end. And then the ONE person who you could identify with from a gender perspective turns out to be a jerk and everyone hates them. Even if the hate is someone justified it still sucks. It’s clear no one hates Malaya for their gender identity but its still hard to see everyone hate them so much when you identify with them.

        Meant more as a reply to this whole thread, and no judgement meant. Just trying to clarify where I think Human Bean is coming from.

        1. Demoted Oblivious

          That is all incredibly valid and a fair assessment (i think) of the frustration Human Bean expressed. Thank you. I did not mean to defend generalize Malaya bashing vs attacking that specific fault of theirs. My efforts were meant to be a hand held out in friendship and admiration for HumanBean’s courage to speak up. And yes, it would be nice if there was such a character to identify with. Hopefully the prediction by others that Malaya may experience significant growth in this arc can come true.

          Also. I need to be called out for misgendering Malaya. It was in error and I did not intend to present offense to them or others. I apologize.

    12. Human Bean

      Thank you all for your kind replies.

      Maybe my comment was poorly phrased, but I didn’t actually get the impression that people dislike Malaya because of their gender identity. It’s just kinda weird when people are like “ugh, this character sucks, they should just die“, and it feels like you’re the only one who wants to see this particular character get more screen time so bad.
      I know that Malaya’s behavior is… unpleasant (imho their worst strip was the one where they slammed their book on the table right next to sleeping Sal’s head. That’s just evil.) Heck, I know I find Becky very irritating because of how she treats Dorothy – I think I understand why she acts that way, and that she deserves sympathy for all the trauma she has to deal with, but it’s still really mean. Yet I’m sure there’s people who identify with Becky and love her, as a character (“GUESS WHAT I’M A LESBIAN” was a great moment), without excusing her hostility towards Dorothy. So I think I see where y’all are coming from.

      For me personally, the desire for non-binary representation and curiosity about Malaya’s character development outweigh the bad feelings about their behavior.

      1. BBCC

        Valid and FWIW, I love Malaya.

    13. Thulcandran

      I’m NB, and I don’t like Malaya because they are incredibly rude, to the point of cruelty, to Sal, and dismissive of others.

      I have an especial dislike of “everything you do/everyone does is a put-on for faking purposes, and anything you do will only confirm that idea,” since it got thrown at me a lot by family.

      And I don’t always hate Malaya! I thought they were pretty spot-on in the art class (and honestly I thought Professor Doc wasn’t entirely wrong either, and was surprised at the level of backlash to both), with Mary, and I sympathize with their conversations with Carla. It’s just, the way they interact with Sal gives me hives.

    14. milu

      yeah, i don’t hate Malaya, actually I enjoy them as a character, because as others have pointed out, they’ve become rather more interesting lately and their sandpaper personality makes for fun screwball-y venom, but a lot of commenters made me realize how terribly they’re behaving.

      now, my read, which is probably a little naive (and i should mention i’ve been bullied too, but i guess not in ways that i recognize in Malaya) is that Malaya while clearly crossing lines, isn’t punching down at someone clearly defenseless, and i don’t remember (?) them doing that, which doesn’t mean that their behaviour towards Sal is ok because it might feel like fun until it’s too late and you’ve hurt someone, and maybe last strip Sal was in fact hurt… but at the same time, as we see today, it kind of bounces off since Malaya is so transparently insecure themself. i feel like that takes away a lot of the sting. They don’t give off bully vibes to me, i guess is what i want to say, but of course everyone’s radar has its own sensitivity, so… what do i know.

  45. Bryy

    Cannot wait for Booster and Malaya to meet.

    1. WanderingLynx

      Booster uses GET REKT. It’s super effective!

      1. Demoted Oblivious

        “Don’t narrate yourself in the third person”, said Flashback Mike, “it’s pretentious.”

        1. milu

          (Flashback Mike said “said Flashback Mike” out loud. said David Willis.)

    2. BBCC

      They’ve already met, albeit briefly.

    3. mrnoidea

      And then Carla jumps in.

  46. Eldritchy

    Hey Malaya, you ever heard of defenestration?

  47. darkoneko

    oh my god she’s in loooove

  48. MrSmith

    A few more of strips like these and I may have to start changing my view of Sal

  49. Mr.Morningstar

    Malaya oh my God no one cares

  50. showler

    Trying to figure out who the character is on the poster and then realized it’s a guitar.

    1. Demoted Oblivious

      In a bar. It’s mid-day, but dark and rainy outside. Dreary. A lone guitar sits on a stool at the bar, fretting over a bottle of scotch. “That’s when I peaked, you know?” Picks up shot, puts it down. “Like, I finally got my shot to be somebody. I got a background scene in a webcomic.” Turns the scotch like a knob on a board. “But I blew it. I threw myself into that role, and they used it, but people barely even recognized me.” Slugs the shot. Pours another and downs it too. “I was strung so tight people didn’t even know I was a guitar, man.”

  51. Juanoku

    Alright now you’re really pushing it, NO ONE CARES

  52. John

    Oh god Malaya, for once could you not be an insufferable asshole? Just once.

  53. zee

    Okay malayas actually really funny in this strip for once

  54. Smooti

    I’ll be the odd man out. I think Malaya’s funny af and while they aren’t correct about Sal, a lot of the points they make about Sal are correct. They think Sal is projecting a cool girl image, but Sal is genuinely interested in those things. But Sal is a very defensive person and I think Malaya picked up on that, and assumed it was because of issues Malaya also deals with.

    In this case though clearly Malaya is just jealous of Sal’s flowers and maybe should just go get themselves some flowers.

    1. Spencer

      Malaya’s conclusion about Sal is correct, just not the steps to get there.

      Sal doesn’t lean against walls with a cigarette complaining about how enjoying yourself doing anything is stupid, and that’s what Malaya thinks. Malaya sees Sal’s appearance and attitude as a deliberate affectation to curry favour.

      The truth is that Sal refuses to get close to anyone because they’ll use her, she straightens her hair so her parents will like her, she doesn’t get involved in organized anything because that means you care and caring about things is stupid, she leans against the wall smoking a cigarette complaining with Marcie because that’s something she can do without someone deciding it Means Something.

      Sal’s basically just Squall from Final Fantasy VIII. Squall suffers emotional trauma and so turns himself into a walled off uberbadass who might as well brand his clothes with Fuck Off and says petulant teenage bullshit like “never get hopeful for anything because then you’ll never be let down”, but then everyone around him decides that he’s actually the coolest motherfucker in the universe so they’re not only trying to gain the affection of Squall when he’s built himself to avoid it, they’re trying to gain the affection of the Squall that doesn’t actually exist.

      1. Spencer

        *Sal doesn’t lean against walls with a cigarette complaining about how enjoying yourself doing anything is stupid because she actually thinks this

        Anyway yeah Sal’s a faker, but she’s the fake hedgehog around here not faking being a cool badass rebel because she thinks cool badass rebels are admirable, she’s genuinely disaffected. Sal’s fakerade is that she pretends she doesn’t want anybody in her life when she clearly, blatantly does.

        1. BBCC

          I don’t think Sal not wanting people around is fake – at least, not entirely. There’s definitely been times where it’s more accurate than others though.

        2. Spencer

          Well yeah she’s not a super extroverted person who loves crowds, it’s that she acts like she only needs Marcie as her Singular Friend and everybody else can either piss off or be kept at arms’ length.

        3. Needfuldoer

          She’d rather be alone than around people who might hurt her again, and she doesn’t really like being alone as much as she says she does.

        4. Steelbright

          THIS

        5. Wagstaff

          ” It’s better to be alone for the rest of your life,
          then it is to be with bad company for another minute. “

          — Big Mamma

        6. BBCC

          I think there have been times where she really did believe that, but that fluctuates and that’s been changing more steadily since she became friends with Danny and Joyce.

      2. Delicious Taffy

        Fuck, the Squall comparison is so apt, though. They even share a few superficial character traits, like leaning on walls alone and having prominent scars. And of course both of them are basically the most reliable when their friends are backed into a corner and (Saving Amazi-Girl from the truck/jumping several floors straight down to save Zell from a firing squad). Oh also they both have a canon affinity for a card game, a bit of an animal motif (less so with Sal), connections to high-ranking school faculty, an excitable friend from a different town, a girl with glasses who thinks of them as a sibling… Are we sure they’re not each other in a wig?

  55. egg egg

    Wait does Sal sometimes get dimples when she smiles? That’s freaking adorable.

  56. Brighter Side

    So they’re going to end up best friends by the end of the year, right? Malaya’s breaking a little.

    1. Demoted Oblivious

      OK That would seem the best possible outcome and would give us character growth and a hopefully delightful change is Malaya’s attitude. A good character with an edge from a dark past is an awesome growth arc (even if clichéd). While I will hope for this, and watch loyally, I worry that this will be why we can’t have nice things. Dramatic tragedy moves us in ways that simple yearning and success to not. God damn we suck.

      1. Brighter Side

        Dang your picture matches your words, haha. I feel like we’ve got plenty of tragedy so far and maybe an unexpected friendship would be a new kind of drama, but it’s probably already written, so here’s to hoping.

        1. Demoted Oblivious

          To be fair this is Willis. They’ll build up enough of a hint between now and (checks buffer) December 21. But that will likely barely scratch the surface of where they’re taking us. And then we’ll be cast out into the void as lost as orphaned ducklings as Willis finds a shiny different character arc to make us wait through, and become invested in, and care for, and want to see where it’s going and then, *record scratch* it starts again. All of them building, and folding in upon themselves like proteins, until the true complexity of the plot is inscrutible to even the most ardent of fans, and then, as all these threads reach a climax, they’ll react together and we will be left, partly joyful, partly morose, and somewhat relieved, though no doubt disappointed that we won’t get to see any candy powered shenanigans or easter costumes.

          No wait, they did that already. Yeah, I’m sure they’ll give us what we want real soon. Right? Right?! (crawls away into corner and hugs his own legs)

        2. milu

          i love it when you go off like that XD

  57. mrnoidea

    Malaya, you are one “baka” away from becoming a tsundere.

    Ooh, I’m calling it, Sal and Danny will date—but just once, and Willis will pull a Willis. What particular Willis he aims to shoot for, I do not know.

    1. Spencer

      I’m guessing either right as Danny and Sal get close Ethan walks back into the story and the Lingering Feels kick back in, or Danny and Sal do more or less start dating, whereupon Sal’s parents get super supportive and praising of Danny because “he’s a nice normal boy who’ll make an honest woman out of you” and the struggle there is if Sal’s willing to be with someone her parents like, because the reason they’d like him is because Sal is now conforming to what they want of her.

      1. BenRG

        It isn’t until much later that the Walkertons find out that Danny isn’t as nice and ‘normal’ as they imagine (and that revelation quite surprises Sal too).

        1. Delicious Taffy

          I’ve been saying it for years. Two words: Skin. Collection.

        2. Some1

          Not gonna lie, it would be actually kind of amazing if Danny somehow ended up being the comic’s final antagonist.

        3. milu

          he teams up with Joyce who has gone, unavoidably, from atheism straight into radical satanism =D

  58. Megan Rivera

    Why is she SO fucking mean to Sal ALL THE TIME? It’s REALLY annoying.

    1. Wagstaff

      I can’t think of any right now, but surely she’s been mean to others too….

    2. Eldritchy

      Why do I have a sneaking suspicion that it’s the “Being mean to a girl you like” kind of bullcrap?

      1. Wagstaff

        Even if it is, thankfully Sal’s straight. That ship would have gone as badly as Ruth and “Jennifer”.

        1. Eldritchy

          Quite

  59. Steelbright

    When you think about it, this logic isn’t actually all that different from Sal’s logic in stealing the flowers from Danny though… hahaha

    “Even if I did want this thing, which I don’t, I can’t just have it because Danny wants to give it to me, I have to get it by doing something much less reminiscent of my mother’s conditional approval more in character”

    (must note here that I’m already preemptively embarrassed about the possibility the HTML tags won’t work because I haven’t used them before)

    1. Spencer

      It’s been six years and I still can’t hotlink here.

      I’ve tried. Oh Lord, have I tried.

      1. Steelbright

        I don’t even know what “hotlink” means so you’re still ahead of me…though it sounds vaguely from the mid 2000s

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