i love how not only did danny say “we broke up” and his dad immediately jumps to the conclusion that she dumped him, but was right about it. atm i can’t remember if that’s the right reason though
She dumped him because he wanted to support her rather than live a life of his own. He had also sort of “decided their future for her” in regard to their relationship.
Long ago we established that Amazi-Girl was Ultra-car. This was decided long before Ultracar even had a humanoid body, and Ultra-car’s new body only further confirms this.
fishsicles
Is there even an Ultra Car in this setting? Lurking somewhere beneath the mechanical engineering building, plotting pie-based world domination?
Jon Lennox
Joe’s parents will show up in a red 2008 Toyota Yaris Liftback. They’ve promised to give it to him next year, when they get their next car.
Dude’s not even friendzoned, even his friends are getting sick of him.
thecanvashat
He doesn’t even get to be in the zone.
JBO
“Don’t let me into my zone, don’t let me into my zone.”
nothri
Yeah well, with all due respect to my Joe Avatar, his friends being sick of him was a dick move on the part of his friends. Joe is great for comedic amusement in this continuity, but frankly he’s a self-absorbed horndog shithead to everyone around him. I do not take anything he says as reasonable or intelligent, and I hope Danny doesn’t either.
While I’m grousing about stuff, while Danny absolutely should have brought this up before now, Danny’s father is quickly volunteering to replace Ruth as the biggest bongo of this series. Of all the damn things to say to your son after he admits he just went through a painful breakup? Seriously, Danny, that’s just cause for a heartfelt “Go fuck yourself” if ever I heard one! Give it a try, you might feel better.
Thor
“Weeks ago” is not “just went through a painful breakup”. And Danny’s silence on the matter has now put the Wilcoxen in awkward territory with the Keeners. I can’t blame Randal for being as vexed with Danny as many of the rest of us are. After all, he’s been subjected to (Dumbiverse) Danny’s behavior for many years more than we have.
timemonkey
The break up was weeks ago, he’s already dating someone else and has barely even mentioned Dorothy since the break up. And quite frankly I’m still super glad they broke up, did you listen to what he said to her right before it happened? Joe’s kind of a dick sometimes but he’s had to deal with Danny for years now. They have nothing in common, Danny makes no effort in their relationship, Joe at least has tried, however misguioded the attempt was.
NightmareWarden
I consider his “man up” comment to Walky about shoes was reasonable. He was a little bit of a prick about it, but Walky was acting like…well, Walky.
Golbez the Awesome
I disagree. While, yes, Joe can be known for thinking with his dick at times, he has shown that he can be better than that when the situation calls for it, as shown in his date with Joyce.
BooBoo
Name me a single person Joe has wronged. Way to disrespect your avatar. Danny’s just being a little putz, which is common for a freshman.
bibulb
He WAS kind of a jerk to Billie at one point. (“‘Scuse me, but I think there’s a cheerleader who wants to sleep with me.”)
The very term “Nice guy” is so tainted that if you refer to any guy these days as a “Nice guy”, chances are, you will see some kind of negetive reaction on their face.
Neospector
Friendzone technically isn’t bullshit. I was just making jokes about it because I am the “Nice Guy”, not because I’m trying to trade nice points for sexy times but because I’m just nice. I also have a crush of my own (but that’s all teenage drama and sympathy points are worthless when transferred over the web), but even so there is a small feeling of disappointment when you realize that a girl will never like you romantically, even if you didn’t or don’t like her.
…so, that means I’m not a friendzone veteran, I’m a friendzone hipster. Oh god…
I wish he actually appeared in front of Danny, saying that and then leave.
begbert2
Danny and his parents stare confusedly at Mike’s retreating back.
“Gravatar?”
Regalli
The specific name for our avatars that follow us around on sites like this because of email address.
begbert2
I know that, but I was responding to AckAckAck’s unintentional implication that Mike would appear in front of Danny and his parents and say what thecanvashat just posted: “That is the perfect Gravatar for that comment.” Out of context, and offline, that would be rather confusing I’d think.
Yeah. This could have been SO much worse. Definitely better than when he didn’t have the spine to tell Joyce’s parents that they weren’t going out in Roomies!
I disagree. This was completely forced on him. No spine was involved, and it couldn’t be worse, because anything else would require Dorothy to go along with it. Even Danny wouldn’t expect that.
His best quality is his availability, but once he entered a relationship his availability disappeared until Dorothy broke up with him. Now he’s available again, only to become unavailable in the future, then available again, then unavailable, etc… It’s a vicious cycle.
179 thoughts on “Wilcoxes”
AHR
Dude, Dannys dad!
thecanvashat
He is so angry.
Tom Speelman
I think he’s an outlet for Willis’ frustration with Danny.
AckAckAck
He’s an outlet for all our frustration with Danny.
JBO
Yeah i know. He is already one of my favourite characters.
arjay2813
i love how not only did danny say “we broke up” and his dad immediately jumps to the conclusion that she dumped him, but was right about it. atm i can’t remember if that’s the right reason though
NightmareWarden
She dumped him because he wanted to support her rather than live a life of his own. He had also sort of “decided their future for her” in regard to their relationship.
BooBoo
I think it was lack of a proper male role model that left Danny this way, Pops.
thecanvashat
That awkwardness got him Amazigirl though.
thecanvashat
In a manner of speaking.
AckAckAck
The question is how long Amazi-Girl can keep the charade up until she need to reveal her true identity? I mean what if she turn out to be Billie?
Josh
But Amazi-Girl is Galasso, he looks nothing like Billie.
Wibbler
Nice QC Avatar.
Hawkwing
Long ago we established that Amazi-Girl was Ultra-car. This was decided long before Ultracar even had a humanoid body, and Ultra-car’s new body only further confirms this.
fishsicles
Is there even an Ultra Car in this setting? Lurking somewhere beneath the mechanical engineering building, plotting pie-based world domination?
Jon Lennox
Joe’s parents will show up in a red 2008 Toyota Yaris Liftback. They’ve promised to give it to him next year, when they get their next car.
Justnobody
No, his awkwardness is why he got frienddumped, not regular dumped.
Neospector
As a veteran, I can say with great confidence that there is a direct link between awkwardness and friendzoning. T_T
thecanvashat
An Afghanistan veteran, or a friendzone veteran?
timemonkey
Dude’s not even friendzoned, even his friends are getting sick of him.
thecanvashat
He doesn’t even get to be in the zone.
JBO
“Don’t let me into my zone, don’t let me into my zone.”
nothri
Yeah well, with all due respect to my Joe Avatar, his friends being sick of him was a dick move on the part of his friends. Joe is great for comedic amusement in this continuity, but frankly he’s a self-absorbed horndog shithead to everyone around him. I do not take anything he says as reasonable or intelligent, and I hope Danny doesn’t either.
While I’m grousing about stuff, while Danny absolutely should have brought this up before now, Danny’s father is quickly volunteering to replace Ruth as the biggest bongo of this series. Of all the damn things to say to your son after he admits he just went through a painful breakup? Seriously, Danny, that’s just cause for a heartfelt “Go fuck yourself” if ever I heard one! Give it a try, you might feel better.
Thor
“Weeks ago” is not “just went through a painful breakup”. And Danny’s silence on the matter has now put the Wilcoxen in awkward territory with the Keeners. I can’t blame Randal for being as vexed with Danny as many of the rest of us are. After all, he’s been subjected to (Dumbiverse) Danny’s behavior for many years more than we have.
timemonkey
The break up was weeks ago, he’s already dating someone else and has barely even mentioned Dorothy since the break up. And quite frankly I’m still super glad they broke up, did you listen to what he said to her right before it happened? Joe’s kind of a dick sometimes but he’s had to deal with Danny for years now. They have nothing in common, Danny makes no effort in their relationship, Joe at least has tried, however misguioded the attempt was.
NightmareWarden
I consider his “man up” comment to Walky about shoes was reasonable. He was a little bit of a prick about it, but Walky was acting like…well, Walky.
Golbez the Awesome
I disagree. While, yes, Joe can be known for thinking with his dick at times, he has shown that he can be better than that when the situation calls for it, as shown in his date with Joyce.
BooBoo
Name me a single person Joe has wronged. Way to disrespect your avatar. Danny’s just being a little putz, which is common for a freshman.
bibulb
He WAS kind of a jerk to Billie at one point. (“‘Scuse me, but I think there’s a cheerleader who wants to sleep with me.”)
AckAckAck
I think friendzoning is the ultimate result of awkwardness?
Neospector
It’s one of the leading factors, along with not being a dick and listening to what they have to say.
Leorale
Uh oh, Neospector, you’re getting into Nice Guy territory. Please read this, it will help you with ladies in future: http://jezebel.com/5838994/a-field-guide-to-nice-guys
taekwondogirl
Thank you. “Nice guy” and “Friend zoning” are bullshit.
Plasma Mongoose
The very term “Nice guy” is so tainted that if you refer to any guy these days as a “Nice guy”, chances are, you will see some kind of negetive reaction on their face.
Neospector
Friendzone technically isn’t bullshit. I was just making jokes about it because I am the “Nice Guy”, not because I’m trying to trade nice points for sexy times but because I’m just nice. I also have a crush of my own (but that’s all teenage drama and sympathy points are worthless when transferred over the web), but even so there is a small feeling of disappointment when you realize that a girl will never like you romantically, even if you didn’t or don’t like her.
…so, that means I’m not a friendzone veteran, I’m a friendzone hipster. Oh god…
Yotomoe
“I knew you’d fuck it up, son”
ASmellyOgre
“You fucked this up just like you fuck up everything else.”
thecanvashat
“Not literally, though. You don’t DESERVE that.”
AckAckAck
Simpler words:
“Son, I’m disappoint.”
thecanvashat
“Believe in the me that thinks you suck”
JBO
“Your awkwardnes is the awkwardness that will kinda scratch the heavens.”
thecanvashat
Go beyond the impossible and kick usefulness to the curb!
JBO
A real man never gets dumped, even if his girlfirend leaves him!
AckAckAck
Ron Swanson?
JBO
At least he lives up to his parents expectations?
thecanvashat
That is the perfect Gravatar for that comment.
AckAckAck
I wish he actually appeared in front of Danny, saying that and then leave.
begbert2
Danny and his parents stare confusedly at Mike’s retreating back.
“Gravatar?”
Regalli
The specific name for our avatars that follow us around on sites like this because of email address.
begbert2
I know that, but I was responding to AckAckAck’s unintentional implication that Mike would appear in front of Danny and his parents and say what thecanvashat just posted: “That is the perfect Gravatar for that comment.” Out of context, and offline, that would be rather confusing I’d think.
Luzahn
Well, good to see Danny clearing that up. He’s not nearly as spineless as he’s usually thought.
ASmellyOgre
Yeah. This could have been SO much worse. Definitely better than when he didn’t have the spine to tell Joyce’s parents that they weren’t going out in Roomies!
Yotomoe
Glad to see he just ripped off the bandaid.
thecanvashat
And just kinda held the bandaid, realizing he was nowhere near a thrash can.
Logician
I disagree. This was completely forced on him. No spine was involved, and it couldn’t be worse, because anything else would require Dorothy to go along with it. Even Danny wouldn’t expect that.
begbert2
And yet that’s the standard comedy plot in this sort of story. Give credit where it’s due.
Geminia999
So, where is the alternate universe where he is Mike’s dad?
JBO
OMG they even have the same hair!
AckAckAck
Now now this can create a speculation about who’s Mike’s real father….
The Candyman
Joyce’s dad has Mike’s hair too, last I checked, anyway.
Mike’s mom has got some ‘splainin to do..
Yotomoe
There’s lots of reasons to dump Danny. His awkwardness is pretty low on that list.
begbert2
The top item on the list is obviously the fact that he owns multiple pairs of shoes.
Wonder Wig
His best quality is his availability, but once he entered a relationship his availability disappeared until Dorothy broke up with him. Now he’s available again, only to become unavailable in the future, then available again, then unavailable, etc… It’s a vicious cycle.
thecanvashat
He’s always around. EVEN WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT.
Yotomoe
Or have no desire for it.
thecanvashat
Which is why we have never seen Danny in the bathroom.
piemanpie24
I like “Sitcom” Danny in the last panel.
Doctor_Who
We’ll be back with more “Thaaaaat’s Danny!” after these words from Nachitos!
Yotomoe
How does this show keep getting more seasons? The main character is so unlikable!
thecanvashat
The supporting cast, mainly.