I remember reading this factoid that said that, despite American children only accounting for like 3% of the world’s children, they own more than 20% of the world’s toys. O.o
Michael Steamweed
Our economy critically depends on consumerism. Us buying stuff. All the stuff.
Ymbrael
Kinda impressive coincidence that statistic almost perfectly lines up with the USA population and percent of the world’s imprisoned population (4% of the world population with 25% of the world prison population as of 2024 if I remember correctly). USA numbah one, in both treats and prison facilities/camps/whatever other spooky term used for foreign prisons to make them seem worse than the good old fashioned homegrown inhumanity centers.
JC
We need more US children working factory jobs to make toys for the children of other nations.
Taffy
Honestly, I think we probably have enough toys on Earth right now to last several generations.
someone
Endocrine disruptors. They’re always full of those.
“Timeline? Time is not made out of lines, it is made of circles. That is why clocks are round.”
~Michael J. Caboose
Abel Undercity
“People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually, from a nonlinear, non-subjective viewpoint, it’s more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey… stuff.”
Mark
“Duration is an attribute of consciousness and not of the plenum.”
Ed Rhodes
Oh, that’s very deep! You should write “Reader’s Digest,” they have a page for people like you!
Crazy Theory Time: While probably too dark even for this comic, Mike was not dead when Asher asked the police to take care of covering it up. Is it possible the officer didn’t just kill Blaine but also finished off a recovering Mike?
Seems like a big reach. They said (lying) Blaine tried to grab the cop’s gun, largely the only way you’d get away with murdering someone in a hospital. Going to another room to kill a second person, before or after, would be pretty much unthinkable. It’s MORE likely Mike didn’t actually die but got into deep witness protection, and that’s already a ridiculous idea.
I think it’s unlikely, but my reading of detective stories suggests it’s actually (in fiction) quite easy to get away with murdering someone in a hospital, especially someone who it’s not clear is going to recover. You don’t shoot them, obviously. Also a good idea to make sure there aren’t any eccentric Belgians, little old ladies, or monocle-wearing toffs around.
JC
Yeah, all you have to do is stop paying the bill, or get an insurance company to deny treatment. They do that often enough that 20 bucks in someone’s pocket ought to be enough.
But how many of those ways is a cop going to come up with while in the middle of guarding/plotting to kill someone else?
thejeff
And then carry out after shooting the first guy in a “fight over the gun” without drawing any attention in the ensuing panic and still being back in the first room ready with his story before security can respond.
It also assumes that Blaine told them that he was lax enough with their secrets that the kid found evidence of the mob involvement.
HueSatLight
Cops aren’t known for their creativity, but they can look up how hospital serial killers have done it without being noticed until after a long time.
HueSatLight
or, you know, just mess with the life support so it’s not longer effectively supporting life.
I’ve had my suspicion. Asher might have directed them at Blaine, to keep him from blabbing to his grandfather or ratting to the feds. But he would have only told them the second part. And Mike had been shouting in public he knew about the cops on the mob’s payroll. The cops could have gone after him, to tie up loose ends, with or without Asher’s explicit direction.
But his noticing AG (and possibly looking for her at roller derby) suggest he might still be involved.
I’d say to big of a stretch for a corrupt cop on mafia payroll. But if the mafia is involved then it would be simple.to put a doctor or nurse on rotation. Inject something into the I.V. fudge the paperwork regarding cause of death and autopsy and cremate before anyone thinks to look closer.
I mean you delve into true crime and doctor/nurse serial killers have been doing that kind of shit for way longer than I’m comfortable knowing. Top of my list is Harold Shipman, Michael Swango (admittedly terrible at it), and many nurses male and female. It’s scary easy.
No, it was definitely Sal. Sometimes people like to troll and say she’s not Amazi-Girl, despite all the evidence and explicit depictions of her taking of the costume.
Michael Steamweed
To be fair, not everyone has access to the Secret Patreon, which shows Naked Sal changing into her Amazi-Girl outfit.
Yumi
Thanks for clarifying; I was really confused for a second.
I know I’m a Shortpacked convert and not a Walkyverse guy but it’s so nice to see Amber and Ethan being friends again. It’s slow going but I missed them.
Did you know, every day is the universe’s birthday! The real one anyway. Due to relativity and time dilating at different rates through the cosmos, the big bang happened on every day of the year simultaneously.
This may sound like a complete tangent, but this kind of spacetime disaster stretching into opaque infinities is exactly how making comics works.
Since Shortpacked! ended (not counting sporadic april fools strips) on its tenth anniversary and today is its twentieth, that means it’s now been dead for as long as it was alive. Have fun with the existential despair!
…oh no sonic has breached the comic, now DoA fanart is gonna go from 99% inflation fetish art to 99.9%
153 thoughts on “Toy aisle”
Doctor_Who
This is unhealthy. A relapse into a dangerous and self-destructive behavior that can only end in tears.
Why can’t Ethan have a more constructive coping mechanism, like vigilantism?
True Survivor
America is addicted plastics.
clif
What are the plastics addicted to?
Rolf of Many Doors
Americans
Zaxares
I remember reading this factoid that said that, despite American children only accounting for like 3% of the world’s children, they own more than 20% of the world’s toys. O.o
Michael Steamweed
Our economy critically depends on consumerism. Us buying stuff. All the stuff.
Ymbrael
Kinda impressive coincidence that statistic almost perfectly lines up with the USA population and percent of the world’s imprisoned population (4% of the world population with 25% of the world prison population as of 2024 if I remember correctly). USA numbah one, in both treats and prison facilities/camps/whatever other spooky term used for foreign prisons to make them seem worse than the good old fashioned homegrown inhumanity centers.
JC
We need more US children working factory jobs to make toys for the children of other nations.
Taffy
Honestly, I think we probably have enough toys on Earth right now to last several generations.
someone
Endocrine disruptors. They’re always full of those.
Needfuldoer
Good thing they’ll be with us forever! 😀
…
🙁
Paul
Plastics are in your blood. I mean, literally, but also metaphorically.
SillyGoose
And on Wednesdays they wear pink.
Michael Steamweed
With us. In us.
HMRC4EVR
We don’t call it ‘plastic crack’ for nothing.
Charles Phipps
Did Amber quit being Amazi-Girl because Blaine decided to cosplay as a supervillain, ruining the stabilizing effect being a superhero had?
Decidedly Orthogonal
It seemed more like it wasn’t something they needed any more. Turns out though, that there are others that still need her.
Katosen27
Started with Shortpacked not too long after it started. I’ve been reading Willis comics since…gosh, 2006?
Bloody hell.
Charles Phipps
Ethan discovers what his destiny is.
To honor Mike, he must become…a toy store employee.
StClair
Time is a flat circle.
DaveM
“Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so.”: Douglas Adams.
CianM1301
“Timeline? Time is not made out of lines, it is made of circles. That is why clocks are round.”
~Michael J. Caboose
Abel Undercity
“People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually, from a nonlinear, non-subjective viewpoint, it’s more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey… stuff.”
Mark
“Duration is an attribute of consciousness and not of the plenum.”
Ed Rhodes
Oh, that’s very deep! You should write “Reader’s Digest,” they have a page for people like you!
Morleuca
“Time is a weird soup” – Fearne
Charles Phipps
Ethan: Someone is WRONG on the internet.
gnomedeplume
That Raphael mask is *not* reading the room.
Charles Phipps
Crazy Theory Time: While probably too dark even for this comic, Mike was not dead when Asher asked the police to take care of covering it up. Is it possible the officer didn’t just kill Blaine but also finished off a recovering Mike?
RassilonTDavros
I doubt it, but you never know.
Amelie Wikström
Seems like a big reach. They said (lying) Blaine tried to grab the cop’s gun, largely the only way you’d get away with murdering someone in a hospital. Going to another room to kill a second person, before or after, would be pretty much unthinkable. It’s MORE likely Mike didn’t actually die but got into deep witness protection, and that’s already a ridiculous idea.
Daibhid C
I think it’s unlikely, but my reading of detective stories suggests it’s actually (in fiction) quite easy to get away with murdering someone in a hospital, especially someone who it’s not clear is going to recover. You don’t shoot them, obviously. Also a good idea to make sure there aren’t any eccentric Belgians, little old ladies, or monocle-wearing toffs around.
JC
Yeah, all you have to do is stop paying the bill, or get an insurance company to deny treatment. They do that often enough that 20 bucks in someone’s pocket ought to be enough.
HueSatLight
There are significantly more ways to kill someone on life support than shooting them with a gun.
Amelie Wikström
But how many of those ways is a cop going to come up with while in the middle of guarding/plotting to kill someone else?
thejeff
And then carry out after shooting the first guy in a “fight over the gun” without drawing any attention in the ensuing panic and still being back in the first room ready with his story before security can respond.
It also assumes that Blaine told them that he was lax enough with their secrets that the kid found evidence of the mob involvement.
HueSatLight
Cops aren’t known for their creativity, but they can look up how hospital serial killers have done it without being noticed until after a long time.
HueSatLight
or, you know, just mess with the life support so it’s not longer effectively supporting life.
Thag Simmons
I’ve definitely seen it proposed, and it’s certainly possible.
Sort of depends on what Willis wants to do with Asher, because I don’t think you come back from that.
Charles Phipps
Yeah, it’d be only able to end with Asher leaving the strip forever.
HueSatLight
I’ve had my suspicion. Asher might have directed them at Blaine, to keep him from blabbing to his grandfather or ratting to the feds. But he would have only told them the second part. And Mike had been shouting in public he knew about the cops on the mob’s payroll. The cops could have gone after him, to tie up loose ends, with or without Asher’s explicit direction.
But his noticing AG (and possibly looking for her at roller derby) suggest he might still be involved.
thejeff
“Shouting in public” in the middle of the night in a mostly deserted area. I guess someone in a nearby building could have heard?
HueSatLight
not so late there there’s not still people around outside. https://www.dumbingofage.com/stooge/
Leaflet Erin
I’d say to big of a stretch for a corrupt cop on mafia payroll. But if the mafia is involved then it would be simple.to put a doctor or nurse on rotation. Inject something into the I.V. fudge the paperwork regarding cause of death and autopsy and cremate before anyone thinks to look closer.
I mean you delve into true crime and doctor/nurse serial killers have been doing that kind of shit for way longer than I’m comfortable knowing. Top of my list is Harold Shipman, Michael Swango (admittedly terrible at it), and many nurses male and female. It’s scary easy.
mindbleach
Did he hear about it, or is she currently, and he just… knows?
Charles Phipps
He saw her in costume and somehow didn’t think she was Sal.
Yumi
Wait, that wasn’t Sal?
Taffy
No, it was definitely Sal. Sometimes people like to troll and say she’s not Amazi-Girl, despite all the evidence and explicit depictions of her taking of the costume.
Michael Steamweed
To be fair, not everyone has access to the Secret Patreon, which shows Naked Sal changing into her Amazi-Girl outfit.
Yumi
Thanks for clarifying; I was really confused for a second.
Doctor_Who
See this strip.
CrimsonStorm
Not currently, check the tags (and cheek blush).11
DashWallkick
Ethan and Asher were in the lobby when she tangled with the costumed dork. I think they made eye contact even.
Michael Steamweed
He was right there. Standing with Asher in the commons.
Jo_cubstar
Aww this is a perfect strip for a Shortpacked anniversary
IntangibleMatter
Hey, you know who else died hard?
Proxiehunter
I’d say Toe Dad but I think Blaine took him down pretty easy.
Aquila
Hans Gruber
Needfuldoer
The best Christmas movie villain.
Pocky
please don’t say he’s here to pester the staff about transformers toys they said they had on the website, but not in stock. . .
JessWitt
That sounds more like a Duncan thing to do instead of Ethan.
BBCC
Yay, they’re talking!
APW
So glad I’m mot the only one.
DashWallkick
I know I’m a Shortpacked convert and not a Walkyverse guy but it’s so nice to see Amber and Ethan being friends again. It’s slow going but I missed them.
DailyBrad
It feels appropriate that I am currently opening up some GI Joes while reading this.
(Croc Master and Fiona, and Junkyard and Mutt, respectively. Yes, I bought them for the animals they came with, primarily.)
chaostails7
Happy birthday to the universe!!
True Survivor
Long may it reign!!!
NGPZ
^^ <3
Happy birthday Shortpacked!
Sonic's there in the back!
ain't much in this aisle
so let's call Ultra-Vac!
Amelie Wikström
Did you know, every day is the universe’s birthday! The real one anyway. Due to relativity and time dilating at different rates through the cosmos, the big bang happened on every day of the year simultaneously.
This may sound like a complete tangent, but this kind of spacetime disaster stretching into opaque infinities is exactly how making comics works.
RassilonTDavros
Since Shortpacked! ended (not counting sporadic april fools strips) on its tenth anniversary and today is its twentieth, that means it’s now been dead for as long as it was alive. Have fun with the existential despair!
…oh no sonic has breached the comic, now DoA fanart is gonna go from 99% inflation fetish art to 99.9%
Bryy
wait what?????????
NGPZ