163

Actual-factual
Posted on April 7, 2018 by David M Willis

163 thoughts on “Actual-factual”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    Dotty’s running up a tab

    1. Chronos

      How many weeks ago was that in comic time?

      1. Tan

        6 weeks

  2. C.T Phipps

    YES! THE BREAK-UP IS HAPPENING! *fires guns in the air like Yosemite Sam* WOOT!

    1. Inahc

      noooooooooo

      … oh crap, she never got around to eating a real meal either, did she? that’s not gonna help things…

      1. Doctor_Who

        Walky hands her a Snickers and all is well. All of DoA has been a stealthy ad campaign.

        Next strip David Harbour steps out and points out how clean everyone’s clothes are.

        1. C.T Phipps

          Dorothy: Walky…we need to break up.

          Walky: What would you do for a Klondike bar?

          Dorothy: G…give up all my hopes and aspirations?

          Walky: Sold!

        2. Xailenrath

          Which ‘Not Herself’ celeb would Dorothy be?

          Sarah Silverman?
          Lisa Lampanelli?

        3. C.T Phipps

          I’m still not convinced Dorothy and Amber are separate people versus Amber Fight Clubbing a sane as well as rationale version of herself.

        4. timemonkey

          Amber wishes one of her personalities could be as stable as Dorothy.

        5. Chronos

          That would have made that chase between Amazi-Girl and Dorothy/Walky more interesting. How would that have worked if Dorothy and Amber are the same person?

        6. C.T Phipps

          Walky: Who are we following?

          Dorothy: A superhero only I can see!

          Walky: Sweet

        7. Epsilon Rose

          Alternatively, Walky was the only one chasing her and Amber was just imagining Dorothy following along.

        8. Viktoria

          Lindsay Lohan.

        9. Makkabee

          Bill O’Reilly.

        10. Chronos

          Gracie Allen. I can’t remember a time Dorothy was intentionally funny and succeeding.

      2. Marsh Maryrose

        And apart from her post-sex pass-out, she is still totally sleep-deprived. Not that anything bad can result from only having two hours of sleep in the last 30+ hours.

    2. Tan

      I can’t see how anyone (outside of the comic) can look at Dorothy’s face and see ‘I’m here to break up with you’. There is not a single drop of anger there, and without anger, there is -zero- reason that a break-up would be in any way urgent right now where Dorothy would seek Walky out for it here.

      It is perfectly reasonable for Ruth to assume that’s what it is, because Walky just admitting there are relationship problems and Dorothy’s ominous wording and generally Ruth filling in her own context for random annoying guy.

      That is the face of ‘I need you for something’. I don’t have a guess for -what- and I’ll be curious to find out, but it’s not for breaking up.

      (note: This doesn’t mean that they can’t wind up breaking up, if something happens that triggers Dorothy a certain way, but I am extremely confident it is not Dorothy’s intention at this particular moment)

      1. PB

        Breakups don’t always involve anger.

        1. Tan

          That is absolutely true, but in -the current circumstances between Dorothy and Walky-, the only reason Dorothy would -make breaking up an immediate priority- would be out of anger.

      2. thejeff

        It could be a “I know we just gave in, but I still really need the pause. We have to be more serious about it” kind of thing.

        The obvious thing to talk about is the pause and the sex and whether that actually means the pause was a lie and what they’re going to do now.

        Which doesn’t mean Willis isn’t going to throw us a curve, of course.

  3. timemonkey

    She’s so bitter she didn’t get to ump Danny.

    1. Doctor_Who

      I think I know what the missing letter is, but it might be more entertaining to be wrong.

      1. C.T Phipps

        Danny and Dorothy might have sex since Amber and he aren’t.

      2. Walky_Talky

        I was trying to find a clever reply using another “ump” word, but “bumping Danny”, “humping Danny”, “jumping Danny” and “rumping Danny” all contain buttsex……er……I mean……subtext.

      3. 3oranges

        Missing letter? Doesn’t umping mean being the one to say “you’re out”?

      4. Makkabee

        Mump Danny? She’s angry she didn’t get to give him a disease?

        Cump Danny? Torch his uke like Sherman marching through Georgia?

        Fump Danny? Get him a recording deal with the comedy music collective?

        1. Chronos

          Maybe the sentence is incomplete…

          “Lump Danny with something or other.”

        2. Needfuldoer

          “Beck wing is like a box-a chock-lits, ya never know whatcher gonna get.”

          -Gump, Danny Gump

      5. legobil

        Tr. the missing letters are Tr.

  4. Synnerman

    Dorothy is going critical…

  5. Schpoonman

    That IS a long callback.

  6. C.T Phipps

    “The break was a lie.”

    “No, Walky, the break was real.”

    *Gives him a Companion Cube as a consolation prize*

    1. Phil

      Ross-Screaming-We-Were-On-A-Break . gif

      1. C.T Phipps

        Walky: WHO HAS SEX WITH SOMEONE THEY BROKE UP WITH! Sex with the ex? It’s unthinkable!

        Jason: To anyone but adults.

        Walky: You’re not involved in this, Sheldon.

        Jason: Sheldon is American.

    2. PB

      Walky: What, no cake?

      Dorothy: Yeah, about that …

      Walky: NOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT THE CAAAAAKE!

  7. BBCC

    why would you eat steak raw Ruth, you savage.

    And oh dear. Oh dear. Oh Dorothy.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Is that what poutine is? Does it have to be moose steak or something?

      1. BBCC

        No, it’s fries, gravy and cheese curds.

        1. Leorale

          It’s politeness made manifest in condiment form.

        2. Needfuldoer

          It’s Canadian ambrosia.

  8. Roger

    callback to what?

    1. Kiondrick

      I think it’s a callback to when Dorothy dumped Danny, and how Ruth told Dorothy that she should do it for her.

    2. tim gueguen

      This very early strip.
      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2010/comic/book-1/01-move-in-day/answer/

      1. Inahc

        thanks 🙂

      2. Paul

        Wow, flashback is really amazing — I knew that the artwork has been improving over all of these many years but, shit Willis, you have gotten smokin’ man! If anyone hasn’t read Jeff Jacques “Questionable Content” and you want to see serious art improvement compare his early work to now. I swear I think I might be able to do it, art looks like it might be a skill after all. I just need to dedicate freaking YEARS and it will happen. Web comics are an inspiration. Chase that dream and nail it.

        1. Paul

          And, yes, I have read Short Packed, Roomies and toured the Transformers Wiki (those seriously rock) but none show the change as much as this one.

        2. CastawayJ

          Another great example is Gunnerkrigg Court

        3. Wizard

          Watching the growth and evolution of Tom’s art has been pretty amazing.

        4. Chris Phoenix

          I wish I could recommend Nimona as another example of amazing improvement of art. The art improvement was indeed amazing… but you can’t see it, because a few months after finishing it, the author suddenly pulled all but the first two chapters offline, presumably to try to make readers buy the paper version.

          …Which I’m bitter about because the comment section was awesome. Her readers put a whole lot of work and creativity into it, and now no one can read their work. The author has every right to hide her own work if she wants (though I think it was a bad move – I doubt the early art is good enough to sell the comic) – but she hid all our work as well, and with no warning. Ugh.

        5. Rowen Morland

          Nimona was/is great. And I’m glad you’ve given me the heads up to start guarding my paper copy like a dragon.

          You know who else had a lovely art style, completed their story and then it got locked away. Rene Engstrom of Anders <3's Maria. Sigh, I wish I could re-read that again.

          Re-checks site like one does every year or so. Oooooooh! It did come back.

      3. David H. Adler

        Only 7 years, 6 months and 1 day for a callback…

      4. Roborat

        That is a long callback. So long in fact, that I had completely forgotten it. thanks for the reminder.

    3. Crust

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2010/comic/book-1/01-move-in-day/answer/

    4. brasca1

      Wow! Amazing how the artwork has evolved this much in 8 years.

      1. thejeff

        Particularly amazing since that’s not actually his early work. A lot of artists develop a lot at first and then seem to settle into their style.

    5. Marsh Maryrose

      Not as far back, but panel 2 is also a callback to panel 2 of this strip.

      1. ValdVin

        Let’s not forget actual-factual, used before (but less realistically).

        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/02-threes-a-crowd/beard/

  9. C.T Phipps

    I only eat steak well-done. I just…don’t like steak as it’s meant to be served!

    1. tim gueguen

      Yeah, I want to be sure it’s actually dead.

    2. Doctor_Who

      “Give me something a good vet could revive!”

    3. BBCC

      “Meant to be” – pretty sure we’re not supposed to eat meat that’s cold and bloody.

      1. C.T Phipps

        Evolution did not incorporate fire! Evolution only incorporates raw viscous fluids!

        1. C.T Phipps

          Joyce: God intended us to eat fruits and veggies!

        2. hof1991

          Only before the Deluge. After Noah meat was Ok

        3. BBCC

          Evolution does like people who can utilize resources like fire. Ergo, it meant for us to eat steak well done.

        4. WonderRabbit

          Actually, cooked meat helped our evolution! Cooking red meat makes it easier to digest proteins, which allowed us more resources to develop larger brains.

      2. Yumi

        Yes, but steak is supposedly “meant to be” cooked medium-rare.

        1. BBCC

          Steak is not a special snowflake among meats.

        2. Yumi

          All meats are special *throws glitter at you*

          Also, I’m a vegetarian, so my knowledge of meat cooking comes mostly from cooking shows.

        3. BBCC

          XD That’s fair. I know nothing about how rare or raw meat tastes. My boyfriend swears by medium rare though. My dad likes medium.

        4. Roborat

          Yup, once it is much past medium rare, the meat starts to loose flavor. At well done, you might as well be eating shoe leather.

        5. vlademir1

          There is a whole bunch of food science behind why mid-rare is held up as the standard ideal doneness for steak (and really grilled or roasted beef in general), It’s basically a mix of protein denaturation/coagulation affecting the texture and maximum hydration, temperature impacts on potential microbial contamination and intramuscular fat melting point leading to the mix of least tough meat (texture), most retained water (juiciness), most melted fat (flavor) and least microbial risks for a “typical” person (ie not immunocompromised in any meaningful manner).
          The thing with that ideal, in the US anyway, is that it’s only held by a tiny minority of people who eat beef. The vast majority of people here still want their beef cooked medium to well for various reasons and the majority of the rest of us want our beef rare or even, like myself, blue.

        6. Epsilon Rose

          Have you looked at sous vide cooking? The microbial recommendations have a time component, so you can still kill everything if you hold it at a lower temperature for much longer. Sous vide lets you do that without killing the meat, so you get juicier results with lower risk.

    4. Keulen

      I prefer steak well-done too. I don’t like eating meat that isn’t fully cooked.

      1. BBCC

        Count me in for team Medium Well to Well Done. I don’t get much choice though. I have a heart condition that says ‘No raw meat for you’.

  10. Passchendaele

    Walky, uh, I don’t think Jason will help you level up with his manners or personality or whatever. Just a hunch. 😛

  11. C.T Phipps

    Basically, seriously, Dorothy wants a moment alone with you.

    She’s not happy.

    You ruined her day plan.

    Dorothy thinks good grades will get her elected President versus conning the American people and networking–so you are up the creek without a paddle.

    1. PB

      Let the girl dream, will ya? College is the only time you can delude yourself like that. (sighs wistfully)

  12. newllend(henryvolt)

    Let’s see how differently walky handles than Danny.

  13. Stephen Bierce

    *plays Copland’s Rodeo ala the Beef ads on TV over the hacked Muzak*

    1. Stephen Bierce

      Walky: It’s What’s For Dinner

  14. nightpool

    an oldie but a goodie

  15. Kelli217

    That ‘really long callback’ would be the strip “Answer” from Book 1, right? Only eight years ago. It’s not the longest callback I’ve ever seen, but pretty gosh-darned long, as Joyce might say. 😀

    1. Woobie

      I think it’s a Brick Joke by now.

  16. Kernanator

    Ruth is getting the murder shakes.

    1. JessWitt

      Does she have her own blender for them?

  17. DailyBrad

    If Ruth’s not just guessing, kinda shitty of Dorothy to tell Ruth this go-round, given it’s not like they even know each other that much.

    1. Leorale

      I’m sure Dorothy wouldn’t have told Ruth. Ruth is just inferring from this scene.

      1. C.T Phipps

        Ruth would love to randomly destroy Walky for no reason than to satisfy her need for hate.

        It makes me assume she’s a fury from Apokolips.

  18. Leorale

    The longest Willis callback was in Shortpacked!. How long was that, it was over a decade I’m sure.

  19. PB

    Man, the internet does NOT want me to be happy today. Is this because I made a sassy YouTube comment?

  20. Kris

    It’s either a breakup which is unlikely or she’s pregnant an Monkey master is the father…which is also pretty unlikely. Or it’s neither of those things.

  21. @zombieundergrnd

    Uh oh. Did somebody miss something?

  22. JessWitt

    Well if Jason is gonna bear witness to this, it *might* inspire him to tutor Walky on adulting.

  23. AnvilPro

    Di… Did Ruth and Walky just have a bonding moment?

  24. John

    Callback to when everyone had enormous heads!

    1. Kris

      It was a simpler time, when Ruth used to dress like Joyce.

  25. abysswatcher1993

    I doubt it’s a break up. Dorothy has already many times said she is just having fun until she moves to Yale, and many times she has proven to need to have love in order to keep her sanity. She is probably having a mental breakdown because of her stress, or Joyce finally became a super villain.

    1. Regalli

      The problem is that while it’s obvious to us Dorothy needs relaxation and love for her wellbeing, Dorothy herself has so far appeared to have tunnel-visioned that fact away, along with her need for sleep, food, and regular personal hygiene. While we all recognize a breakup isn’t gonna fix jack shit for her, it’s still very much plausible because she’s not making smart choices.

    2. cbwroses

      I’m also not feeling the idea of a break up, but the phrasing definitely has break up connotations.

      The thing is, I don’t see why she would need to say anything to him unless she rightly guessed he now thought the pause was a lie.

      But all that should take is “Today was nice, but we’re still on pause, you know? Don’t expect that to keep happening.” Or something like that. It just doesn’t need such a heavy set up.

      After all, it seemed to me like she made the first move, and he told Sierra not to let her sleep long, so he hasn’t done anything “wrong”.

      1. cbwroses

        I hope this won’t be some “I need you to stay away from me/be strong for me because I can’t resist temptation” mess.
        If it’s mutual avoidance, that’s fine, but IF she’s something like that, but puts the onus on him, that’s just a cop out.

  26. Dana

    The break was a lie was a lie?

    1. Marsh Maryrose

      It never was a break. It was a pause.

      The fact that Walky thinks the pause was a lie is, to my mind, an indicator that an actual break might be in the offing.

      1. thejeff

        I think Walky has pretty hard evidence the pause was a lie.

        Now, Dorothy might have decided that the pause being a lie really means she needs to make it even more serious, because what she really needs is to work herself into a coma without distractions, but that still doesn’t mean Walky was wrong.

  27. Regalli

    Everyone in this strip is a beautiful screwup right now.

    1. Roborat

      Well, at that age, pretty much everybody is a screw up to one degree or another, so pretty accurate on the author’s part.

  28. Haven

    Would breaking up with someone be “technically about feelings”? That seems pretty straightforwardly about feelings, no technicalities.

    1. thejeff

      Perhaps it isn’t actually about breaking up?

  29. Keulen

    I really hope Dorothy isn’t going to break up with Walky for real, these two are my favorite couple after Becky and Dina.

  30. Clif

    Everyone have their best “Damn you Willis”‘s at the ready?

    1. PB

      Armed and ready, sarge, shall I pass out the T-shirt cannons?

  31. Lulu

    Is this the moment where she says I’m pregnant?

    1. thejeff

      No.

  32. Beef

    I feel less bad for how Walky’s about to feel after what he said to Ruth just now

  33. Toadby

    I love callbacks… but this one

    kind of stings

  34. BenRG

    I’ve no doubt that Dorothy is about to make an ill-considered announcement of some kind. Either that or she’s in the fertile part of her cycle and neither she nor Walky used protection.

  35. stoodmuffin

    JESUS WALKY

  36. Eldritch Gentleman

    The pause was a lie, break up won’t be a lie…

  37. Bagge

    “Um, I need some… relaxation assistance again…”

  38. Reltzik

    Nothing can possibly go wrong with this interaction, and I unreservedly endorse it.

  39. Huehuetotl

    Well at least this moment can’t get any more awkward by Jason running into someone unexpected.

  40. Reaver

    She threw up, she’s preggers 😀

  41. Deathhead

    I remember Willis said people were going to hate him. I wonder if this is the moment he was talking about.

    1. Reltzik

      Maybe, but it’s also just a general thing he has going.

      1. Clif

        If Willis wanted people to hate him, he’d break up Becky and Dina.

        1. marianne

          “Walky, we need to talk. It’s about… Becky and Dina.”

        2. PB

          DON’T EVEN JOKE ABOUT THAT YOU MONSTER

    2. BenRG

      Yeah, I think this is the point where Dorothy tells Walky that she can’t be with him anymore because she’s afraid that he’s a weakness and/or distraction from her ambitions. This will set off a chain-reaction that may ruin a lot of her friendships.

  42. Jago

    Walky is still mad at Ruth about Billie huh?

    1. chris73

      I don’t blame him, Ruth is still an unpleasant person

  43. AGV

    I feel like if a bomb were about to explode and I’m just by it

  44. Ivy

    “This seems like a very bad idea for me” Jason says as he willingly follows Walky into the girl’s wing

    1. PB

      He’s already been fired, I guess he figures this won’t do much worse than that.

  45. Anna

    They had unprotected sex she is freeaking out

  46. hof1991

    Walky is unlikely to be diseased. If they were unprotected recently she knows about morning after meds.

    1. BBCC

      And if it really doesn’t work and she gets pregnant, well, that’s what abortions are for (also: Pacing. The way this strip is going it’d be decades before Dorothy even starts to show).

      1. thejeff

        I don’t buy it. I just can’t think the story is going there. We know Dorothy is thorough about protection, which I think we can assume means condoms and some kind of long-term birth control – Pill or IUD or something. Walky joked about both having to turn the keys at the same time.

        And it would be years even before a pregnancy test could even confirm a pregnancy. As you say, pacing.

        But somehow it’s been a theme in the comments since the end of the pause.

        1. BBCC

          It’s been a theme since they started banging. People really want Dorothy to get pregnant for some reason.

          I don’t buy it either, but even if it happened, there’s almost no way it doesn’t end with an abortion.

        2. PB

          …. That’s …. kind of gross that people want that. XC

        3. BBCC

          Eh, I’m sure some people only want it to see where the story goes with it rather than anything nefarious.

        4. thejeff

          It’s just kind of weird that it’s so focused on Dorothy & Walky. Maybe Sal got pregnant? Or Joe and Penny. Or Roz and Joe (or Roz and someone else). Or Raidah, for that matter.
          It’s come up with Mary, but that’s because of hypocrisy and because that was the Roomies! plot.

          Joe getting someone pregnant might have been an alternative to the leaked list as a way to bring consequences home to Joe.

          But no, it’s always Dorothy.

        5. Emily

          But the consequences Joe is supposed to be facing are for not respecting women not for having casual sex. Which is probably why unwanted pregnancy as a plot device feels kind of uncomfortable: because it’s so often a means of shaming people (especially women).

          As for why Dorothy it’s probably because out of all the sexually active characters where pregnancy is a possibility she’s the one who’d be most adversely affected and thus it’s the most “dramatic” possibility.

        6. BBCC

          I seem to recall at least one person speculating Sal would get pregnant, but you’re right. It’s pretty often Dorothy.

          The list only just went live. There’s still time for that to happen. Though, it’s pretty unlikely because, again, pacing. Nobody’s getting pregnant and having it stick.

    2. Yumi

      Okay, I don’t want Dorothy to be pregnant or needing a morning after pill or anything, but if one of her birth control methods is a daily pill, I could see her having forgotten to take it for bit under all her stress/messed up schedule. But I think the discussion is more likely to be about their relationship, anyway.

  47. Vulcanodon

    Is the ‘morning-after pill’ difficult to obtain in Indiana? Asking for Dorothy.

    1. Reltzik

      In Bloomington? Nope. Nearest site is the county health department, just past Dunn’s Woods. Walking distance. 17 can get it without prescription or parental interference.

      (Source: 3 minutes of googling.)

      1. Reltzik

        *17 and over

      2. Vulcanodon

        That’s good to hear.

        1. PB

          I doubt the “we need to talk” issue is a broken condom. Or at least I HOPE it isn’t. :c

        2. Kathleen

          Pretty sure her being pregnant would be the same as “somebody dying” in that it would be an event so huge no one would talk about anything else and ruin the flow of the comic at the time-scale it operates in.

  48. Furie

    Wow, pop-ups much? I’m on 25 blocked and counting in the time it took to read that. Bad ad server!

  49. nightshade

    heres a question …. are the 4 or 5 stories currently going to collide and be a huge everyone hates everyone else for a while ?

    I mean we have the Joyce ,joe Joyce’s room mate and the one guy thing going on and then crossing the mayala and sal thing going on…which will intersect with and walky and Jason once they run into sal …. theres only maybe 5 characters that aren’t doing thing ….. mike becky dina ukele guy and faz’s sister oh and ruths girlfriend who basically hasn’t been seen much since they moved her out ….. (sorry I’m horrid with remembering names ……) theres gonna be a explosion ……….

  50. Kathleen

    I don’t think it’s gonna be a breakup conversation. They are already “on break” and it’s only been a day or two. She doesn’t need to have that conversation now.

    1. Emily

      Well, considering how well that “break” is working I wouldn’t be surprised if she panics as a result of her ridiculous tunnel-vision and breaks it off.

      1. C.T Phipps

        Dorothy is….not actually a person who deals well with middle ground.

  51. Mr. Random

    I legit have a friends who essentially are Walky and Dorothy here.
    Though they sorta relapsed twice without getting back together and she kept trying to re-initiate the physical part….
    And he sorta kept trying to unload his emotional baggage….
    It was…. maybe not the healthiest relationship by the end.

  52. Smooti

    While I understand where Dorothy’s coming from with the conversation she’s (probably?) about to have here, Dorothy’s problem isn’t that she’s dating Walky. It’s that she’s making all of Walky’s, and Joyce’s, and the entire floor’s, problems her own.

    Sometimes you have too many irons in too many fires.

    1. Marsh Maryrose

      The Latin translation of “Too Many Irons in Too Many Fires” is Dorothy’s heraldic motto.

      1. Smooti

        “Nimis multos ferro, multos ignes etiam”, if we can trust google translate, which we cant

  53. Kaidah

    “We need to talk” is the single worst sentence in the English language. It has never, ever prefaced something good.

    1. Fart Captor

      “I’ve pooped the bed” is pretty bad, imo

    2. Roborat

      Whenever that is directed at me, my first impulse is to set off the alarms and run for cover.

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