301

Rank
Posted on November 24, 2013 by David M Willis

301 thoughts on “Rank”

  1. C.W. Roden

    Now who’s crazy.

    1. Jen Aside

      Billie, ’cause now she’s gonna get a beatdown for SPOILARZ

      1. Jen Aside

        HAHAA

        “Amazi-Girl is PERFECTLY FINE”

        Even Billie admits it

        1. John

          Well yeah. Billie’s already tried putting the moves on her.

        2. Keroshino

          um…where can i find the full image that your gravitar is of?

        3. Keroshino

          Whoops pls delete this response…I screwed up. 🙁

      2. Keroshino

        Um…where Can I find the full image that your gravitar is of???

  2. Plasma Mongoose

    Suddenly, fanservice! ^_^

    1. Waverocker

      Holy poop, you’re right!

    2. Aizat

      And still leagues better than stuff they tried to pull in anime.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        I don’t know about that… the Japanese have turned fanservice into an artform.

        1. Aizat

          More like turning fanservice into an overused trite.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          Unfortunately true at times, like that fight anime with the magic commas, the fanservice in that one actually became too annoying to be enjoyable.

        3. Aizat

          Heck, I could list down a lot of animes that turned me off because of the abundance of fanservice. To me, fanservice is best served in small supplements.

        4. ninja_jesus

          I think that any anime that wishes to engage in fanservice must conglomerate a majority of their fanservice into no more than one (1) beach
          or hot spring episode, and use the remainder where appropriate to plot and/or character personality reinforcement.

        5. Sammie1053

          The only anime I’ve ever watched had a beach episode in it. They spent 2 minutes at the start of the episode making jokes about fanservice, and it was beautiful.

        6. That Damn Rat

          Even if they don’t wish to use fanservice, they still have to do a beach and/or hot springs episode. It’s in the Japanese constitution

        7. Yarrr

          As long as they have fanservice for both genders I’m cool.

        8. Cybersnark

          Put another way, fanservice is like spice.

          A little bit of it, used well, can add to an already good meal.

          Too much can spoil an otherwise enjoyable meal.

          And of course, bad cooks will deliberately use it to drown out the taste of a poor meal.

        9. MichaelHaneline

          Was anyone else a fan of the first season of Full Metal Panic but utterly turned off by the “Second Raid’s” decision to up the fan service to 11?

        10. EmpressTohru

          Oh man…it’s bad if I know what anime you’re talking about just from “fight anime with magic commas”

        11. HiEv

          FYI – The “magic commas” are called “magatama“, which, coincidently enough, sounds almost like a portmanteau of “magic” and “comma”.

        12. Kinoko

          Though the literal meaning is something like “hooked bead”.

        13. That Damn Rat

          Trite is an adjective not a noun, the word may have been looking for is trope, or possibly given the quality of some fanservice anime, tripe.

        14. Aizat

          Thank you.

        15. nothri

          Well, yeah, you draw anime, therefore it is art, therefore fanservice which you also draw is a form of the art, hence an artform.

        16. taekwondogirl

          Considering it’s very common in anime for women to have ridiculous boobs, I’d say they kinda beat the dead horse into the ground so hard they gave it a grave.

        17. Kladeos

          That’s not just an anime thing. Western comics (DC, marvel) and western video games do that too.

        18. taekwondogirl

          The difference between western and eastern is at least the western ones are in the realm of possibility. I’ve never seen boobs as big as the woman’s head in western animation.

        19. Ivresse

          I dunno, Jessica Rabbit’s were pretty big…

        20. Kinoko

          Are we only talking animation here, or comics too? Because I’ve never seen an anime as hideous as Rob Liefeld’s work.

        21. Kladeos

          Are those water balloons? :/

          If guys like boobs so much, which don’t they know what they look like…?

      2. Rutee

        You know there’s anime with less fanservice via sexiness than DoA, right?

    3. Ancestral Hamster

      Personally, I think Sal is overdressed.

    4. Lel

      ty based Willis

  3. Waverocker

    Oh Billie…

    1. ironbillie

      And now I am having Cable Guy flashbacks. Thank you Waverocker.

      1. Waverocker

        Unintentional reference, but no problem 😉

  4. licoricepencil

    DON’T DAN THIS UP DANNY.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      That’s like asking the sun not to give you skincancer.

      1. Waverocker

        But that would imply that in most cases it’s pretty easily avoidable 😮

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Which makes my statement even more true, Danny could avoid the danning up so much if he tried.

      2. Jenny Creed

        You. . .need to put a protective atmospheric layer and/or skin lotion between Danny and whatever he Dans at?

    2. Psycho

      That’s like asking a dog to not lick it’s balls.

      1. Chill

        What if it’s a female dog? Or it’s been neutered?

        1. Makkabee

          So we need to neuter Danny to getting to stop danning everything up?

          This is a price I am willing to pay.

    3. taekwondogirl

      I don’t think this is a situation where basically anyone could handle it properly. He’s being told Sal is his girlfriend, meaning she has a shared memory of all the things they did together. They don’t.

      1. John

        Well, there’s the fact that she very obviously isn’t. Handling it properly would be recognizing that and not believing it just because Billie said it. If Danny can’t tell at a glance that Sal isn’t the girl he made out with, I’m officially losing all hope for the guy.

  5. Geminia999

    So I hope that is really just a Sal thing, or do some people actually do that with their pants (well outside of guys I mean).

  6. Biege

    well, this is going to end well…

    1. Aizat

      As long as there’s no aliens, we’ll be OK.

      1. nothri

        Or power booster rods.

    2. Ourorboros

      Hilarity will ensue.

  7. Wonder Wig

    That sort of thing that Danny is talking about, literally probably cost me my last relationship.

    1. Nono

      Yeah, he’s being kinda clingy and desperate right now. I know that feeling – it’s part of what ended mine too, and I’m guessing it’s part of what ended his and Dorothy’s.

      I’m guessing one reason why Danny/Billie worked in the Walkyverse because he loves to give attention and Billie loves receiving it.

      1. Lucas

        Billie was a bit softer in the walkyverse too

        at least with danny…

        1. DudeMyDadOwnsADealership

          Walkyverse Danny’s true colors were also much more concealed…

          As for THIS Danny, I eagerly await to see how he responds to Billie telling him that Amazigirl’s true identity is Sal Walkerton……

      2. E.R.

        Actually, given the situation, his worry is pretty justified. I mean, it’s not like she told him anything or he knows she’s annoyed at him. From his perspective, they were perfectly happy and then she disappeared off the face of the earth. This is then compounded by the fact that she regularly gets into dangerous situations, meaning there’s a pretty good chance of her getting hurt.

        I’d actually argue that he’d be a bad friend if he wasn’t worried and asking around.

        1. Israfel

          Thank you! I was beginning to think that I was creepy for finding this reasonable.

        2. Sam

          Actually, it isn’t completely justified. One time when Amber showed up, Amazi-girl of course didn’t and she asked him to hang out and so they did and he didn’t freak out then.

          It is fine to be a little worried about someone when they don’t show up for one night, but it has also happened before, she generally doesn’t appear often, and there are many explanations besides getting hurt that would explain her lack of appearance/text.

      3. nothri

        No, Billie and Danny worked in the Walkyverse because character development. Give these guys some time and see what happens.

        I suspect one reason Danny is acting weird about Amazigirl now is that he’s feeling guilty about Amber and wants to talk to her about it. That always makes the “where are they” game harder to play in my experience.

        1. Loquat

          I suspect he’s also worried in part because on some subconscious level he’s noticed the strong resemblance between Amber and Amazi-Girl, and he’s hoping Amazi-Girl will show up to tell him she’s a totally different person who’s not at all mad over the way he rejected Amber. I don’t believe he’s consciously aware of that at this stage, of course, but I do think it’s contributing.

        2. Kladeos

          I think this too. He’s not that unobservant. He noticed when Amber changed Amazi-Girl’s look in an attempt to make them look more different.

    2. Waverocker

      That sucks :\

    3. JBO

      She did not answer ONE text by you after already not showing up for a date and did not check in immedietly in the morning with you? Clearly you should panic!

      1. Viktoria

        Granted, most SOs don’t have hobbies that involve physical fights with drunk football players, rapists, and muggers.

      2. Wonder Wig

        It was more like she went upstate for college, then one day stopped replying to anything for weeks until finally calling back to break up.

        1. Thanks, I'll Have Another!

          Well shit, dude (I’m assuming you’re a dude). That really sucks. Nobody should do that to anybody they claim to care about at all.

        2. Wonder Wig

          I’m a dude but it’s alright. This happened a while while ago, it’s just that what Danny said rang true to me. After the first few weeks I was already checking the net for things like if they had found a girl’s body in the woods by her campus, crazy distressing thoughts like that.

  8. Pizzathehutt

    Well Sal’s dressed up today.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Looks more like she forgot to put on pants again. 😛

      1. Aizat

        She got shorts on..and as we all know, shorts are comfortable and easy to wear.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Those are shorts? I seen g-strings that offer more coverage.

        2. Aizat

          Short shorts.

        3. saltchocolate

          Daisy Dukes.

        4. Roborat

          And in this case you can actually see the g-string and verify that statement.

  9. JBO

    Oh I did not know that.
    Why is she carrying around a tree branch?

  10. Kladeos

    Danny better not believe her.

    1. fatso

      Are you kidding? It’s Danny we’re talking about here.

      1. Keroshino

        Seriously…if Danny honestly begins to believe that Sal is Amazi-Girl I will lose all respect I have for him!

        …it’s hanging by a thread as it is!!!! 🙁

      2. Kladeos

        Let’s be fair here. He noticed when Amazi-Girl changed her hair and voice. I’m pretty sure he’ll notice Sal’s not her, especially as, unlike Billie, he’s seem more than just glimpses of her.

  11. newllend

    OK who wants to bet that he’s stupid enough to believe her, because at this point …damn danny

    1. Jon P

      [raises hand]
      There is basically nothing that is “too stupid” for Danny.

      1. Keroshino

        I SOOoooo hope that you a wrong… 🙁

    2. John

      Much as I hate the dude, I don’t think he’s that stupid. I’m guessing that he thinks that Billie is making fun of him.

  12. LiamAldam

    We’re headed towards some fun, folks.

    1. Thanks, I'll Have Another!

      “Oh, indeed.” – Omar Little

      1. vonnegut

        Thanks, I’ll have another Omar Little quote.

  13. Thad guy

    Whoa, nice camera! How’d you bring the foreground into focus without blurring the background?

    1. David Willis

      layers

      1. TaintedSpud

        Like an onion?

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          In this instance, more like cheesecake.

        2. Variaman

          No this is really more like an ogre.

        3. MeHael

          No, this is more like a parfait. Did you ever hear anyone say ‘Hell no, I don’t want a parfait’?

        4. vonnegut

          Everybody loves parfait.

        5. Ivresse

          Insert comedy ‘What’s a parfait?’

        6. Mr. Random

          Yogurt with fruit and nuts. It’s crazy. Hahahaha.

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      Photoshop is an amazing thing.

    3. E.R.

      The same effect can actually be done with real cameras, if I recall correctly it’s called ultrafocus, by using a bunch of shots and putting them together. One of the art museums in new York (I want to say the met) had a couple of really cool photos like that as part of a digital art exhibit.

  14. Kernanator

    If the next comic is Danny pointing out how it is physically impossible for Sal to be Amazi-Girl, I may actually start liking Danny.

    1. JBO

      And the Billie calls him racist.
      He did not want to sleep with the hot half asian after all.
      And clearly racism is the only reason one would not want to sleep with A FORMER CHEARLEADER!

      1. Kernanator

        I was thinking more along the lines of them having completely different body types.

        1. David

          He did no curve matching of Amazigirl and Amber, either.

        2. Vash

          Though, nobody ever suggested Amber as Amazi-Girl, thus not giving him any reason to do so.

        3. Shadlyn Wolfe

          Moreover, Amber herself would talk to him about Amazi-Girl, and she’s his friend so she must not have been lying, right.

          I don’t know…I could actually see Danny believing this, but only if he actually finds the bad girl look attractive. You know, wish fulfillment. Otherwise, he’s going to disbelieve because “Amazi-Girl wouldn’t dress or act like that.”

          I don’t think her body type will cross her mind. I could be wrong, but Danny seems too much in love with Danny’s world view.

      2. Aizat

        Or that Danny is the loyal kind of guy. Hey, he maybe dense but damn is he loyal.

        1. Waverocker

          ^this

      3. Pat

        She already did that when Joyce pointed out the same thing, so I see no reason why she wouldn’t do it again.

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      Isn’t Sal a few inches taller than Amber?

      1. Kernanator

        Among other things.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          The hair looks different but you can always argue it’s a wig, but the skintone in another matter.

        2. Aizat

          And…oh I don’t know, her smell.

        3. Kernanator

          Their body shapes are completely different as well.

        4. Jon P

          The costume has some padding on it.

          Now, that said, if Danny’s smart enough to say “Amazi-Girl’s breath doesn’t smell like cigarettes”, and I don’t know why I started a sentence with “if Danny’s smart enough…”

        5. begbert2

          But Danny has felt around under the suit, so he knows whether there’s padding or not!

        6. Rutee

          How would he know Sal’s breath?

        7. vonnegut

          He can see that Sal is currently smoking a cigarette.

          Of course, I think he can. It is Danny.

      2. Blue Dragon

        Sal is about the same height as Billie, when she isn’t wearing motorcycle boots. Sal in boots is about as much taller than Billie as Amber is shorter than Billie. Amazi-Girl is five foot five, in her boots. The height gain as Amazi-Girl probably brings Amber up to the same height as Sal when not in boots.

        I don’t think she’s wearing boots, today.

        Danny knows that Amazi-Girl is the more extreme persona. The secret identity needs an outlet for unacceptable behaviors, like Anger, Rage, and sexy Other Stuff. If Sal is Amazi-Girl, than as soon as she starts to get pissed off, she’ll quickly exit to change identities, possibly shoving Danny down in the process. If Amazi-Girl then shows up asking if any citizen is in need of assistance, then Yes, that would conclusively prove that Sal was Amazi-Girl.

    3. Jackson

      Now, here is a true test of Danny’s density.

  15. Bilfred

    Billie you fool.

  16. ironbillie

    Sal is such a rebel. She is SMOKING INDOORS!!!! Also, she is a solid 8 bordering on a 9. 7 for Billie.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Sal is just plain ‘smoking’ dress as she is. 😀

    2. newllend

      WHAT? Ok I’ll admit billie has it going on, but I don’t think she ranks more than sap, I say Billie 8.9 and sal 9.3

      1. Pope William T Wodium

        Pretty sure that was eight bordering on nine for Sal, a period to end the sentence, and then a seven for Billie. I doubt ironbillie was using decimal scoring.

        1. ironbillie

          Seven for Billie, Eight bordering on a Nine for Sal. Also while we are at it Ruth and Amber are a Seven, Joyce, Roz and Dorothy an eight, Dina has she is my sister cute rating (very cute but would never think about sleeping with her).Sarah get none as she keeps on hitting me with that baseball bat.

        2. John

          Watchoo talkin about, Billie is the hottest.

          (Sal gets an automatic two-point deduction for that cigarette.)

    3. Rutee

      Billies a 7? Because I didn’t have enough evidence these silly scales were bullshit? Thanks!

  17. Gram91

    I swear, if Danny considers even for a second…

    1. Rani

      I hate Danny too, but let’s be real: WHAT PERSON (Of compatible sexual orientation) WOULDN’T CONSIDER THAT.

  18. none

    OH NO WHAT HAVE YOU DONE BILLIE

  19. Rani

    Oh god Danny is such a wa-

    *sees panel 4*

    Daaaaayyyyyyyyyum

  20. Aizat

    I think Danny would no that Sal is not Amazi-Girl by her smell alone.

  21. Waverocker

    Who doesn’t wear their panties that high?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Her panties aint high, it’s that piece of denim that’s hanging too low.

  22. Henry

    Well, if we’re sticking with Willis’ previously stated (I think…) rule of no plot retreads, I can’t figure if that means Sal and Danny can’t end up together in this verse (since they were together in the previous one for some amount of time) or if that means they can (since they didn’t *stay* together)… Hrm… I’m thinking too much about this. Damn you, Willis!

  23. Kernanator

    Also, everyone note panel 3.

    Billie is definitely being reminded of when she was worried about Ruth.

    1. Waverocker

      Nice catch! I didn’t notice that first time around

    2. Deathjavu

      Yeah, I definitely thought using *that* as the reason Billie stops hatin’ and actually tries to help was the cleverest part of the strip.

    3. nothri

      Dammit Kernanator I just noticed that and wanted to be all like “Hurr Hurr Hurr look at me ain’t I smurt?” but then you came along and noticed it before me and RUINED EVERYTHING FOREVER!

  24. JessWitt

    Oh geez, I cringeworthily love where this is going.

    1. JessWitt

      And I wind up saying this about a LOT of stuff in this blasted webcomic.

      1. Thanks, I'll Have Another!

        So say we all.

  25. Keon Ruddy

    Upon realizing that Amazi-Girl smokes, Danny proceeds to hate her.

    1. nothri

      ….or Danny takes up smoking?

      What? Alpha Danny totally took up drinking once he started digging on Billie. Its important to have something in common with those you love.

  26. John

    Hey, Danny, Billie told you yesterday that you blew your one chance to screw her.

    And Billie… *facepalm*. Just… *facepalm*.

    Danny tomorrow: “That can’t be Amazi-Girl. Amazi-Girl doesn’t taste like an ashtray.”

    1. Aizat

      Or smell like one. Seriously, smokers have a distinct scent.

    2. Baker

      Yeah he should really know a bunch of stuff about her that won’t line up. The way she talks should also be a give away as well as her voice. Skin color, hair color, nothing lines up. He reached third base with her, he should definitely know she doesn’t wear a wig. Then there’s the whole completely unable to use a DS much less being willing to touch one thing.

      Watch Billie argue with him over this though.

      1. John

        Well, Billie thinks he’s lying about Amazi-Girl being his girlfriend to begin with…

  27. The Candyman

    What with his track record, I see no reason why Danny wouldn’t believe this.

  28. Raibean

    omg

    1. Rani

      OMFG CLOWN

      1. Aizat

        CLOWN? HE’S HERE TO DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL!

        1. Regalli

          I’ll take the chicken.

          DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL!

      2. Lawzlo

        I looked around… and I saw a clown!
        CLOWN… CLOWN…

        CLOWNY CLOWN CLOWN.

  29. Rich

    Oh snap, is this the first time Danny met Sal in this universe? If so isn’t this a ~BIG DEAL~?

    1. John

      Well, they haven’t met yet, but, yeah, it’s the first time they’ve even been in the same strip. I don’t know how big a deal it is. Danny/Sal was a big thing in the Walkyverse, but Willis has made a point of squashing other relationships that were big deals in the Walkyverse, Joyce/Walky being the most obvious example.

      1. Thor

        And Billie/Ruth. And Jason/Sal.

        Waitaminute…

        1. John

          Given that Billie/Ruth in the Walkyverse was retconned in years after the fact, and got two strips and a couple of offhand mentions by third parties, I don’t think it could be described as a big deal.

          Jason/Sal was a much larger part of the plot, but nothing like the literally world-changing importance of Danny/Sal or Joyce/Walky. And it’s a much different relationship here… bangin’ Sal wasn’t going to get Jason fired in the Walkyverse. Shot in the back, maybe…

        2. nothri

          I dunno. Willis has hinted that Joyce and Walky might develop a thing in the future (god help us all) and such….so anything can happen here, really. Though I can’t for the life of me see Sal doing the “love sick puppy” thing she had going on for Danny in the Walkyverse any time soon.

  30. March

    God damn, I ship Billie/Ruth, but I can totally see why Billie is all over that.

    No Danny. No. You don’t even get to look.

    1. Keroshino

      Thy beauty is not meant for Danny’s mortal eyes…look away, or thou shall be greeted by the most dire of consequences!!!!

  31. aeyt

    oh the hilarity

  32. Luzahn

    Billie why. You’ve just given the Anti-Dannys ammunition. I mean, you also give everyone hilarity so ok you can stay Billie woo.

  33. Cliff

    Oh. My. F******. God. This will be amazing.

    1. Cliff

      Provided Willis doesn’t cop out with Danny logically explaining that Amazi Girl’s Caucasian, has short hair, a shorter BODY and doesn’t smell like cigarettes.

      1. newllend

        And has more curvs and lighter skin, oh and that texas accent, and after all that he will known as the stupidest character on this comic because he still bought if

        1. Shadlyn Wolfe

          Oh…I would love this. If he logically explains that Sal can’t be Amazi-Girl, because Amazi-Girl is built more like Amber. Actually, she has Amber’s hairstyle and voice, as well.

          And then he STILL doesn’t make the connection. :/

  34. All Else Fails

    For once:

    DAMMIT BILLIE!!!

    1. All Else Fails

      Also, if believes this and Amber actually tells him forthright that she’s Amazi-girl, things can and WILL take a turn for the worse.

    2. xKiv

      How many “Damn it, Billie”s do we give?

      1. xKiv

        Or “Damn you, Billie”s, as it were.

  35. newllend

    I really hope this goes some where, no no, I REALY hope this goes some where, I can see it now

  36. doodlebug

    okay for some reason i totally did not see this interaction coming, and i am SO happy that it is.

  37. Hopeless Savage

    That third panel…thanks for making me tear up again, Willis.

  38. JA

    A comic strip character should not be turning me on like this…

    1. Aizat

      Dude, there are weirder things that turns on people.

      1. Luzahn

        Really, it’s one of the talents of our species.

    2. begbert2

      I’m pretty sure Willis coined the term Perverse Sexual Lust, so you can be excused for having a reaction to one of his characters.

      1. Kladeos

        WOAH I did not know this. And the TV Tropes page on it confirms this. Mind. Blown.

  39. daaang

    oh dang oh dang oh dang Billie’s world is about to go cray

    1. Keroshino

      So much so, that you might just need another cray.

      1. The Candyman

        2 crays? Inconceivable!

  40. James

    So, assuming that Danny isn’t actually going to believe this (which is possible), I have to wonder what the differentiating factor between Sal and Amazigirl will be: -skin tone, -height, -build, -hair length, -the fact that Amazigirl does not smell like cigarette smoke
    Now taking bets, people.

    1. brionl

      If you’re with a woman who smokes (and you don’t), her whole body tastes like cigarettes.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWXbVsMkz1U

  41. Rahul

    Gaussian blur for defocus effects make me unhappy, because actual cameras don’t work like that.

    Here’s a quick edit with Photoshop’s Lens Blur instead: http://i.imgur.com/2v4e7pM.png

    I hope Mr. Willis doesn’t mind. I only made this because I love the comic.

    1. Bill

      There is something called “depth of field”.  It is possible to adjust the f-stop and exposure time on regular film cameras (like 35mm SLRs) to create a range — say, twenty feet — in which the subject of the picture would be in focus while the foreground/background were not — then readjust the f-stop and suddenly WHAM; everything from five feet to infinity is sharp and clear.  Don’t know if it works for digital cameras, but I think this is the effect Willis was shooting for.  

      1. David Willis

        sometimes i wonder if you read the posts you’re responding to

        1. The Lurker

          If they don’t read the FAQs why would they read the previous posts?

    2. begbert2

      You shoulda trimmed out the speech bubble and replaced it with background before doing the blur; the white edge to her blurred hair looks weird.

    3. Hotsauce

      That… looks virtually identical to me. Like, there’s a slight difference at her hip, but that’s it.

  42. Sensedog

    The last panel makes up for the fact that Danny is in this comic.

    1. fatso

      seconded

      1. Keroshino

        Thirded!!! 😀

  43. licoricepencil

    WAIT. One of Amber’s reasons for being Amazi-Girl is that she was in a convenience store during a robbery, and she looked freaked out when she saw Sal earlier. A fan theory is that Sal was the one doing the robbing.

    Now (if Danny is Danny and believes Billie) Danny starts trying to chat up Sal and trying to get her to admit to being Amazi-Girl and Amber overhears and sees, BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN.

    I won’t damn Willis yet though in case I am HORRIBLY WRONG which I somewhat hope for.

    1. Luzahn

      Now come on, you know full well that there is something else damn-worthy involved. Might as well do it now.

  44. Wolfe

    oh jesus christ on a slice of toast he’s going to kiss/confront sal isn’t he

    1. Keroshino

      If so I hope Sal is ready to beat some sense into him!!!

  45. Vincent

    Really hoping Danny denies that Sal is Amazi-Girl, lists all of Amazi-Girl’s features, then has an ‘oh shit’ moment where he realizes Amber’s Amazi-Girl and realizes how badly he messed up…
    Wait, I meant to say he realizes that Ultra Car is Amazi-Girl, and they ride off into the sunset.

    1. nothri

      Ultra!car, you mean.

  46. doodlebug

    Okay but am I the only person who is reminded of Eric Foreman when they look at Danny? Because it’s been bothering me for a while who he reminds me of and for some reason this comic struck inspiration–he looks like Eric from That 70s Show..

    1. timemonkey

      I don’t see it.

  47. Maycroft

    Oh yes, it’s 1997 all over again!

  48. I dont know what to put here

    Is Sal wearing what the Punk Girls from Pokémon X/Y are wearing?
    In the new ad banner, all the tears are in the right places.

  49. Blackbird

    Yes Danny, your girlfriend looks just like the guy who’s with your ex now.

    My favourite possible outcome is for Danny to convince himself that Billie is right, and then recoil in horror when Walky shows up and he realizes the resemblance. He then runs to Joe for consolation, only to catch Joe hanging out with his main man Jacob. Danny runs out sobbing, running into the street, only to get hit by a truck. A truck driven by Ruth.

    Maybe I need sleep.

    1. Lel

      Joshua ben Jospeph, that’s an ass-tonne of dramatic irony.

      1. hmrc4evr

        And that’s BEFORE any drama tags have been pulled!

  50. NF

    This would have made an awesome Friday comic.

  51. Aakriti

    All hell’s gonna break loose.

  52. Jesse

    Please tell me Sal is going to punch Danny for creeping her out.

  53. Mr. Random

    Ha. That’s funny. Dramatic irony is fun, especially if we look back now. Thanks for the great reveal last storyline, Willis. Haha! Hahaha! Ha. Ha. ha.
    Huh. Y’know. I try to make this sound funny, but I really did think it was Sal. Now I’m sad.

  54. 10vernothin

    Oh god this won’t end well…

  55. Zenithar

    Willis, WHAT is Sal wearing? I admit to having been confused at what the kids were wearing when I was a grad student, but this is beyond the pale. Please tell me you have a real life reference for this outfit…

    1. The Lurker

      Have you been on a college campus in the last five years? This look was not uncommon when I was teaching so, perhaps moreso now?

      1. Zenithar

        I finished grad school 3 years ago…

      2. Kladeos

        Never saw that at university, and I’ve only stopped hanging out on the campus last spring. Then again, I live in Canada, so no one showed skin ever for fear of frostbite.

  56. Jack Finch

    Nobody’s that dumb, not even Danny, not even in a ‘verse called Dumbing of Age.

  57. timemonkey

    God damn it Billie, you’re so offbase you make Danny look observant by comparison.

    1. Keroshino

      And then Danny decides to prove you wrong!

  58. gangler

    They’re gonna get into an argument ignoring the completely obvious answer that there’s more than one Amazigirl.

    Seriously. How farfetched is it that a few friends would make identical costumes and and start getting into zany shit around the college campus.

    Maybe Marcie’s like Dardevil. She lost her voice but in doing so she gained the ability to vibrate her toes creating a variety of sounds. With enough practice wiggling her toes and lip syncing she can now simulate vocal speech while using her powers to put fear in the hearts of criminals.

    I don’t mean that in the “ha ha, let’s pretend we don’t know Amber’s Amazigirl” kind of way. I just mean from their perspective they have no reason to think that there’s only one Amazigirl. If they’ve each found a different Amazigirl then multiple Amazigirls makes perfect sense.

    1. begbert2

      Well, Danny has good reason to believe that he’s been running into one single Amazi-girl over and over, except for the first time, which was a different girl with smoother hair and a less raspy voice. But at the very least of all the Amazi-girls in the world, he’s only dating a single one of them.

  59. yitz

    This storyline is like the Watchmen of Real Life Superheroes, all exposing the trauma and the dark underbelly of people not recognizing you because you have a fucking domino mask on

  60. Emoroffle

    Amazigirl seems to have developed an odd fashion sense. or lack thereof. Nice view though.

  61. LordHaw

    That’s some outfit. Never seen anyone wearing anything like that in public but I could see someone doing it. Sal wears it well.

    1. Aakriti

      Undergrads at my university wear stuff like that all the time.

  62. Varangian

    Danno, if you believe Billie on this then even I’m going to wish physical violence on you.

  63. ninja_jesus

    Even Danny wouldn’t be that dense. Seeing as Spider-Man is one of Danny’s current comic book reads, I think he’ll invoke the duality between Spider-Man and Peter Parker’s personality differences as a reason why Sal couldn’t possibly be Amazi-Girl; he already knows that Amazi-Girl became who she is because of a traumatic event that happened in her past, and will deduce that Amazi-Girl would therefore be someone who is a geeky, awkward and shy girl.

    In contrast, Sal is free-spirited, outgoing and tough; she can easily stand up to authority or any individual that stands in her way, negating the need for a secretive outlet to take out any deep-seated issues she holds. She takes her issues out on the world herself, something that Amazi-Girl could never do without her mask or pretenses of justice.

  64. Rse

    the physics of that outfit intrigue me

    1. Lel

      Likewise, my good man.

      1. saltchocolate

        It does seem to be missing the requisite belt loops and belt . . . Maybe it’s a really stretchy denim. Cut-off jeggings?

        1. navi

          denim does not require belt to stay on hips. they’re just low rise. Also belt loops are also not required. She has hips and a backside, therefore they stay on.

  65. Varangian

    Also, Ruth/Billie faithful, note Willis’ generous gesture to you with Billie’s look of naked guilt and pain when Danny mentions being “worried sick over someone you care about”. Eh? Ehhh??

  66. so279

    Well, looks like Sal is headed to math class….

    1. Aizat

      On a Sunday?

      1. |Agent

        “Math class”, like “Journalism”, is an every day activity!

    2. Ourorboros

      Given her tutoring sessions, shouldn’t it be “It looks like Sal came from her math class”? :p

      1. so279

        Of course she came. That’s what happens when you have sex.

        1. Thanks, I'll Have Another!

          Well, at least in theory.

        2. John

          She does keep going back, so either she’s got really low standards for what constitutes “good sex”, or…

  67. LiaHansen

    I get the distinct feeling that hyjinks are ensuing.

  68. Gottawonder

    Danny was so ‘clingy’ with Dorothy that he followed her to the college she enrolled in, ONLY because she was going.

    She tried to explain to him that when the time came, she was moving on to a higher level college and that he should go home, as it was obvious he had no interest in any specific degree.

    He said he’d be glad to follow her, no problem, he want to do it.

    She had to get down and dirty and tell him no, don’t follow, it’s over: and walk away.

    Danny does not understand the word no….. among other things.

    And as obvious as it that Sal is not amazi-girl, well…he is Danny.

    Yeah, I agree, this will not end well.

    1. Nym

      Danny has an interest in a specific degree! It just seems like Purdue might have been a better option for it. (I could be wrong. I have attended neither Purdue nor IU.)

  69. Gottawonder

    Darn no edit. Should read, “and as obvious as it is, that Sal is not…”

  70. Darwin

    It’s so nice of Billie to protect that pizza place owner’s secret identity.

  71. Derek

    Please don’t do this, Mr. Willis. Please don’t make me dislike Danny. I’m one of his few fans, don’t take that away from him. He has so little…

    1. begbert2

      Naw, I like him too. In fact it’s got to the point where the mockery and hatred of him is so over-the-top idiotic that I see it as the whole ‘Is Ethan Gay’ thing – it’s bullshit that people are saying just because they think it’s funny. But it isn’t. And all it does is remind me about how, when you actually look at what he’s said and done, Danny is actually pretty awesome for an idiot teenager, and for a member of this comic’s cast.

      1. Ourorboros

        No, he has real and distinct flaws. Awesome he is not, although I acknowledge he would still be in the moping stage.
        But this could be a funny arc where he grows. Then I might not dislike him so.

        1. Andy_147

          But *every* character has real and distinct flaws. Is anyone seriously claiming that Joe, Mike, Walky and Billy, for instance, are likeable people?

        2. Rutee

          Uh, yeah, actually. The only one of those that isn’t likable is Mike. Danny is probably less so, but still is somewhat so. Least, if you’re a dude.

        3. Logician

          Every character has real flaws, but that doesn’t make them equally likeable. I find I like Joyce, Walky, Sal, Sarah and Dorothy in spite of their flaws, whereas I don’t like Ethan, Danny, Amber, Billie or Ruth in spite of their good features. The rest of the cast aren’t really developed enough yet for me to decide whether I like them.

        4. Nym

          Yes, every character has distinct flaws, but some flaws I find myself more interested in or sympathetic to than others, or find that I can like a character in spite of those flaws. Others, I find grate on me or accumulate in such a way that I don’t like the character overall. (This applies to a number of different characters.)

          Wrt Mike, my enjoyment of his character probably has something to do with how he takes Refuge in Audacity and Crosses the Line Twice. A version of Mike played straight, however, likely wouldn’t be something I would much enjoy.

        5. Rutee

          I’m not saying he isn’t an enjoyable character, although I find him overrated. I’m saying he isn’t a likable person. He only works for us because we’re the viewer, not his target.

        6. Nym

          Ah, yes, well, in that case, I agree! I would not want to be friends with Mike or around him in general.

        7. Kladeos

          Billie and Joe are on my top 5! Joe is favourite of the male characters because he’s not living a lie (unlike Ethan), is secure in his masculinity (unlike Walky), isn’t a closet misogynist (unlike Danny) and has character development (unlike Mike & Jacob). I guess Jason exists too…

          Billie is an alpha bongo! She looks out for people around her, even as she expresses a facade of being too good for them. She filled in for Ruth looking after her floor when Ruth was MIA, and she’s looking after Ruth, HER RA and her elder, because Ruth is in a vulnerable place at the moment. Billie took Joyce under her wing! Billie’s actually really caring. She places 3rd for me, after a tie between Sal (who break my heart) and Ruth (who stole my heart). After her is Sarah, who is snarky and intelligent and secretly caring and great, and then Joe, who is a dude.

  72. Jack Faire

    Hasn’t Billie actually seen AmaziGirl? Sal looks nothing like her not even a little bit different skin tone, height, head shape, hair color etc.

    1. Ourorboros

      Been carried by Amazi-Girl and spoke with her too.
      However, this undoubtedly leads to a confusing interaction for Sal, awkward attempts to talk by Danny, and perhaps Amber outing herself.

  73. Keroshino

    Danny, Please don’t fall for this!

    1. AckAckAck

      Sorry he can’t hear you. I think he fell into that hole.

      1. Keroshino

        NOOOOOoooooo!!!!

  74. J42Smith

    Nah, she’s far too cool to be fighting crime in a costume when she could be doing it as herself.

  75. Phoenix

    Holy crap, gloveless Sal?? I expected to see a unicorn before that happened!

    1. pendrake

      Actually if you look closer, Sal is wearing fingerless gloves. So “technically” not gloveless

  76. Crumplepunch

    I was about to write “Not even Danny could be this stupid.”

    Then I came to my senses.

  77. Shadow12000

    Oh god, please let even Danny be smart enough to realize that she can’t possibly be Amazi-girl.

    1. AckAckAck

      Read comment above you!

      *Shaking Shadow12000 vigorously*

      Wake up man, wake up! please come to your senses!

      1. Aizat

        You know, this isn’t the first time I’m defending a character that most people don’t like. The first time was me defending Cyclops.

        1. AckAckAck

          Cyclops still got redeeming points. His wife on the other hand….

        2. Aizat

          Which one? Madelyne? Jean?

        3. Varangian

          Isn’t Madelyne just Evil Jean?

          Also, Cyclops right now is rad! He preaches mutant revolution and doesn’t take shit from The Man and runs around with motherfucking Magneto!

          Meanwhile, Wolverine has absorbed all of the stick that was up Cyje’s ass by osmosis!

        4. Aizat

          I thought Phoenix is Evil Jean. Besides, I thought Cyclops had always been awesome.

  78. nothri

    My thoughts as they came to me:

    1. So apparently Danny doesn’t rank high enough on Billie’s scale to date Amazigirl, and Amazigirl ranks low enough on the Billie scale to qualify as a “nerd” like Walky, but Billie is happy to screw Danny when he drops a compliment on her. That doesn’t say anything kind about where Billie ranks on her own scale.

    2. My love of Ruth forces me to add this addendum to my thoughts in comment number one- Billie actually ranks very high on her scale. At one in her bathroom, that is.

    3. So Danny thinking Amazigirl is his girlfriend is crazy, but Billie thinking Amazigirl is her roommate is totally rational. H’kay then.

    4. And suddenly I get why everyone on campus says Sal is hot. HELLO NURSE!

    1. nothri

      2.5 Addendum to my addendum, I’ll bet good money that panel three Billie is making that face because she’s thinking about Ruth when Danny says that line about being scared for someone you care about.

      1. Bill

        Point of curiosity about the addendum to the addendum:
        Does Danny know about Billie’s concern for Ruth?  Or is this merely a random remark on his part that just happened to find a target?

        1. Kladeos

          I don’t see how he could possibly know.

  79. Animal

    <— Loves some bad girl Sal fanservice.

    1. nothri

      Hey animal, haven’t seen ya in awhile. How goes?

      1. Animal

        Other than being busy as a one-armed man at a circle jerk, everything’s groovy. You?

    2. Keroshino

      Who doesn’t love some Sal fan service? 😀

  80. nothri

    In the alpha universe Danny was like maybe the one dude before Jason that Sal legit cared about. Wonder how that will play out in this timeline.

  81. LiamAldam

    “What are you doing with her?”
    “She’s Amazi-girl”
    “She’s not Amazi-girl! I- O_O… :/”

  82. saltchocolate

    I’m going to give Danny a little credit. Here’s how that goes in the next strip:

    Danny: No way is that Amazi-girl!

    Billie: Is too!

    Danny: Not possible. I made out with her. Not only is Amazi-girl not black, she’s got a completely different body type. That woman is too slim. Amazi-girl is much curvier, like . . . like . . .

    :::looking around the room wildly:::

    . . . like that girl!

    :::gasps as the woman turns toward him:::

    Amber?!?!?!

    1. begbert2

      Marcie?!?!?!

      1. Alex Stritar

        So she was faking not being able to talk so no one would no. Just like how Luke Cage would talk in jive talk as Power Man and be a professor while in civilian mode. It all makes sense now. O.o

      2. saltchocolate

        HA!

    2. sadsack

      yess!

  83. Tarkada

    And Thus Begins the Danny-Sal-Amazigirl-Amber-Ethan love pentagon

    1. owltawny

      The Danny-Sal-Amazigirl-Amber-Ethan-Joyce-Joshua/Jocelyne love heptagon

      1. begbert2

        I’d just list the entire cast major and minor and be done with it, but I don’t know any latin prefixes above ten.

        1. What was the question again?

          You pretty much just prefix any tens with the appropriate unit and then add the units.

          So bidecapentagon is a 25 sided polygon.

  84. AgentKeen

    So next strip we get Danny with a giant word balloon saying “SAL?!”, right?

    1. ChrisAshtear

      yes please!

      1. AgentKeen

        http://tinypic.com/r/e9hr1k/5
        -Strolls off, whistling innocently-

  85. diello

    This is going to be a good comic week 😀

  86. ijp92

    you guys are all getting worked up over nothing.

    Willis is obviously going to cut away to a different scene.

    1. khrene

      @#$%!!! You’re so damn right!!!

  87. synnerman

    Sal, channeling some Motoko Kusanagi realness!

  88. John Madden

    Billie confirmed for colorblind.

  89. Mr K

    You know what would be interesting? Amazi-Girl fighting Amber over Danny. Fight-Club style.

  90. Golbez the Awesome

    Sal is kinda turning me with this get-up, tho

  91. James

    We need a statue of that.
    Seriously, I’ll buy that for a dollar.

    1. Heavensrun

      Although the reference is not lost on me, it bears mentioning that Willis probably needs more than a dollar for a statue like that. ;p

  92. brina

    Wow Sal, nice outfit.

    That wasn’t sarcasm, this is very pleasing to look at :3

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