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Guardian
Posted on June 11, 2013 by David M Willis
Amazing thanks to everyone who contributed to the Book 2 Kickstarter!  It was an amazing success!  We get a book AND we get comic updates on the weekends for a year!  Thanks for enduring my huge-ass promotional push and everything. I return you to your regularly-scheduled webcomic, seven days every week.

178 thoughts on “Guardian”

  1. Tioras

    Aww, poor Billie.

  2. nalem

    🙁

    Billie might be my favorite character right now.

    1. xain

      at least until dina does something then all bets are off

    2. swk3000

      Billie has been my favorite character almost since I first saw her. I don’t know exactly why. Of course, I saw the DoA version before I saw the Walkyverse version. That probably makes it even weirder.

  3. Izzy

    Deep man. I’m gonna shed a tear. Or my exoskeleton. I haven’t decided which yet.

    1. Yotomoe

      Be careful. If you shed your exoskeleton you’ll be more susceptible to predators.

      1. xain

        but after that the new one will be harder than ever

        1. Blob Marley

          That which is shed can never die, but rises again harder and stronger!

        2. Paul

          It is known.

      2. Plasma Mongoose

        But if you shed it right, predators might mistake it for Izzy, thus allowing hir to get away.

        1. Kelly

          hir? eh, it works, but I always prefer singular they/them

        2. TheBenenator

          BEGONE, HERETIC!

          I use xer, personall. *shrug*

        3. Dragon_Nataku

          I just say him/her/it/cheesecake

      3. Animal

        Eh?

    2. nothri

      Dude, just do both. Multitasking. Its the way of things now.

      1. Kernanator

        But I can’t! It’s literally opposite to the way my brain works!

    3. BD

      Shed that exoskeleton.

      CAST OFF! CHANGE – Izzy!

  4. Golbez the Awesome

    FEELZ

  5. Yotomoe

    Jeez, why are my eyes so sweaty?

  6. Sock

    OK…makeup sex. Aaaaaand go!

    1. SplashBoogie

      I don’t want to say I endorse this plan but…I endorse this plan.

    2. Platinakettu

      This will backfire badly, …but do it anyway.

    3. davidbreslin101

      Mouthwash first. No, really.

      1. Heavensrun

        This. People seem to have forgotten that vomiting recently occured.

  7. Doctor_Who

    This whole story is really developing these characters well.

    Now let’s cut to a couple strips of Danny and Joe being goofs.

    1. Yotomoe

      Danny runs by Billie “Have you seen Amazi-girl!?”

      1. Aras Pabedinskas

        “Hey, are you okay, Ruth? Did you eat too much or something?”

        1. ArkhamTexan

          “I figured she’d be here to stop the underage drinking!”

        2. ShadowMaskPrime

          “Hey, what brand soda is that, I haven’t seen it before? Is it Canadian?”

      2. Heavensrun

        No lie, when the fire alarm got pulled, I honestly thought Danny was gonna run back to the dorm, see Billie jogging out with Ruth in a fireman’s carry, and come to the inescapable conclusion that the hot asian chick who tried to jump his bones once is actually Amazi-girl.

    2. Luzahn

      I would like to know why Danny has been randomly interjecting into this whole episode.

      Hopefully he doesn’t end up bursting in on these two and inadvertently causing trouble.

      1. xain

        no joe will and he will proceed to try to fix both of them … with his penis

        1. vlademir1

          I may be wrong, but I’m fairly sure Billie would want that for herself….

    3. Miamistax

      Noooooo! Makeup sex first.

      1. begbert2

        Start with makeup sex, and then have person after person walking in and joining them, until you have a full-blown makeup orgy. That’s really the best of all worlds.

  8. ArkhamTexan

    “Ugh, you’re the last person I want to give that much credit to.”

    That’s probably not what that look in the last panel means, but hey.

  9. xain

    and honestly ruth if your dead how are the two of you going to bang. Billie dose not seem like the necrophilia type to me

    1. Yotomoe

      It’s never the ones you expect.

    2. Wack'd

      It’s never the ones you hope–er, expect.

    3. gangler

      It would be easy. Ruth dies, sees the underverse, and experiences a brief moment of torment during which she learns how the addition of new pain can be used to purge you of previous pains. She comes back with a glorious new doctrine to spread around the world.

      1. xain

        because a little bit of soul rape always puts things into perspective

    4. nothri

      Actually, according to some occultists a ghost with a particularly strong will can manifest physically, duplicating all the outward signs of life, especially if that ghost has unfinished business. So in theory….

      1. Tomaj

        Well that explains Jesus at least.

        1. Drunken Nordmann

          Your gravatar is fairly creepy.

        2. xain

          should have gone for historical jesus

        3. Tomaj

          To be fair, it’s only coincidental with this particular comment. Though, the intent behind the gravatar was for it to be creepy, so all according to plan.

      2. Heavensrun

        According to some occultists, a bunch of unsubstantiated crap based on speculation and lack of physical evidence can occur at the corner of your eye when your camera isn’t working.

  10. John

    I’m just waiting for Billie to put the booze in her own belly to protect Ruth from it.

  11. Plasma Mongoose

    Ruth would have needed to do more than drink herself into a stupor to kill herself you know Billie, she would have needed some kind of drug cocktail to go with the booze to really finish yourself off.

    1. Yotomoe

      What you don’t realize is that’s a bottle of Drain-O.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        There was? I didn’t remember seeing that.

        1. Yotomoe

          nah It’s not. Just your everyday generic bottle of whatever. Could be anything in there.

        2. Totz the Plaid

          Alcohol poisoning can and does kill people. More than a few people have died on their 21st Birthday trying to do 21 shots consecutively.

        3. davidbreslin101

          …thank God I was too much of a lightweight to even consider trying that.

        4. Oneiroi

          I’m going to make a silly assumption and say that it’s Hennessy.
          Given that it’s the title of the chapter.

        5. Kernanator

          Research indicates that Hennessy is a type of cognac. I’m not exactly a booze expert, but given the number of bottles she seemed to have, wouldn’t that be really expensive?

    2. Aras Pabedinskas

      People can die from drinking too much. Alcohol poisoning. Granted I don’t know what it entails, but I know it can kill you. Plus if she vomited while drunk and lying on her back, she could have choked on her own vomit.

      1. vanjealous

        Just like Jimi Hendrix and Keith Moon 🙁

        1. Totz the Plaid

          More like John Bonham (though he technically asphyxiated on his own vomit).

          Hendrix also choked to death on his vomit, but that was due to barbituates, not booze.

          Keith Moon… well, he OD’d on clomethiazole, but I prefer the legend which claims that he drank too much and did too many drugs at a party, then crashed his car through a wall while OD’ing and sank into a pool. OD, car crash, AND drowning. A much more fitting death for Mad Moonie!

        2. Vabolo

          And then we have Keith Richards, the undying.

        3. Kernanator

          Pretty sure there’s gotta be some ritual sacrifice going on there.

        4. Makkabee

          I like the irony of Moon ODing on the medication he was using to control his addictions. I think he would, too — he had that kind of warped sense of humor.

      2. Plasma Mongoose

        I don’t deny she could have died but if her goal was to kill herself, she would have had some other drugs to make sure.

        1. AgentKeen

          I think the alt-text suggests that it wasn’t a matter of trying, just a matter of not caring if it happens, because who cares what happens to her anyhow?

          Now, it’s a slippery slope from “I don’t care if I die” to ” I don’t want to live”, but Ruth’s not quite there, and hopefully won’t be now, assuming Billie can actually help rather than just make things worse.

          I really need a different avatar for talking about things like this…

        2. f.p.

          There’s also an additional step from “I don’t want to live” to “I want to die.” Sometimes neither option really seems acceptable.

        3. gangler

          Only if she was in a rush. Like if she had some specific goal to be dead by the end of the night. Otherwise she can try again tomorrow. She knows it’ll work eventually.

    3. Groove

      Just to add in that yeah, it’s totally realistic to die from alcohol poisoning (I mean obviously it’s a HUGE amount of alcohol required, but still).

  12. Yotomoe

    There was a girl I met online once that was really depressed and talked about suicide a lot. During the summer I went to camp but when I came back she stopped getting on line. I spent years worrying that she commited suicide and I wasn’t there to console her. Then I found out she’s still on facebook and has a boyfriend now so I guess all is good.

  13. AgentKeen

    B-but…. where’s the funny? ;-;

    1. Yotomoe

      It’s there. You just need a sick sense of humor.

      1. Aras Pabedinskas

        HA! She realized her actions affect others! HILARIOUS!

        1. rachel

          COMIC GENIUS

          no just kidding this comic made me well up :(:(:(

  14. GDwarf

    Man.

    Well, that’s one way to sober someone up.

  15. Sensedog

    Yes, “the feels”.

    I don’t necessarily feel sorry for Billie, but it is nice to see a generally unlikeable character act human.

    1. Andiemus

      Wait, wait, wait. You’re looking at these two and BILLY is the unlikeable one?

      1. Groove

        To quote, “when the pot calls the kettle black, the kettle is still black”.

  16. Sir Robin

    Is the fire truck still out there? Make sure Ruth doesn’t leave her room and walk in front of it

    1. Yotomoe

      Trucks are the Ruth’s natural predator.

      1. Sir Robin

        There is probably one stalking her right now

        1. Yotomoe

          There is. Her name is Billie.

        2. Totz the Plaid

          Nah, Billie’s more of a house… a brick house to be precise! *cue Commodores music*

        3. AgentKeen

          Unfortunately, she hasn’t been letting it all hang out yet…

  17. xain

    You need to stop her billie just remember she can’t continue drinking if she is too busy making out with you

    1. Yotomoe

      I wouldn’t be so sure. Billie’s saliva probably has a higher alcohol content than malt liquor.

  18. Kernanator

    Whoa now, Billie, let’s not jump to conclusions. About it being all your fault, I mean. Clearly she’s has other issues, you’re just one of them.

    Good to know you care, though.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Like her father for instance.

      1. nothri

        Didn’t she say her dad was dead?

        1. AsimovSideburns

          That can be something that causes issues.

        2. xKiv

          Cf. QC Faye.

        3. nothri

          And in fact, as of today’s strip, it totally did!

    2. Aras Pabedinskas

      Well, Billie doesn’t know any of those issues. All she does know is that Ruth advanced on her, she rejected her, then she went into a drunken stupor.

      1. Totz the Plaid

        ALSO, it would be Billie’s fault in a “straw that broke the camel’s back” way. Though Billie’s rejection would count as more than a straw, it’s still just the one last thing that finally broke Ruth.

        Hopefully, she’ll also be the first thing to help repair her.

    3. gangler

      Seriously. You’re allowed to react negatively to sexual assault without worrying about what that’s gonna do to your clearly already fucked up assaulter.

      She got it on the day of. Quoting from her Twitter Feed

      “seriously… seriously damaged. She is.”

      “I am NOT your Lifetime Original Movie skank. Fuck you.”

      Still the situation, Billie. You didn’t damage her. This shit’s all pre-existing.

      1. Josh

        She does appear to have been the spark that set off the explosion, and trust me, anyone would feel guilty for that.

        1. gangler

          She appears to be somebody who had a negative interaction with Ruth shortly before Ruth disappeared for days to drink herself into a stupor. Anything more is pure fabrication.

        2. Kernanator

          I believe the word you are looking for is “speculation”.

          …Sorry, couldn’t help myself.

        3. Notebooked

          That’s what she is, but that may not be who she appears to be. You can feel guilty about events while having no impact on them.

  19. Neospector

    When I read this, I muttered “BOOOOOOOH”, pronounced like “Bo” in “Little Bo Peep” and elongated.
    I have absolutely zero clue as to why.

    1. Yotomoe

      some where there was a man who uttered.
      “NE”
      as in “Done” and you two are destined to come together.

      1. Jereko

        Bun?

        1. xain

          BONE!!!!!

        2. Neospector

          I wanted to make a reply to this comment thread involving boning various numbers of girls, but seriously this is embarrassing to write about on the internet.

        3. begbert2

          If not the internet, then where??

  20. Emoroffle

    Sad eyed Billie is dangerously powerful. I’m so compelled to hug and comfort her.

    1. Blue

      This comment is improved by your grav.

      1. Emoroffle

        Ironically enough this is someting Amber would likely reply with were she reading the comment section.

    2. Totz the Plaid

      Me too. I mean, I’d gladly hug her anyway, but yeah.

  21. NerdHerder

    You know, I can’t think of a joke for tonight’s comic. And that’s okay.

    1. Groove

      There’s a new trend in Yorkshire where people are rubbing ecstasy on their gums. It’s called e-by-gum.

      1. Notebooked

        “This weeks’s prize is for the exotic animal lover who wants their pets to follow them home. It’s this stamped, addressed antelope.”

        1. Roborat

          How about the squished fruit that came back from hell, you know, the stomped, sulphur tressed cantelope?

        2. Notebooked

          Fun fact: The seldom-used definition of ‘cantelope’ is ‘unable to run off and get married’.

        3. xKiv

          Not without the help of devil’s avocado, anyway.

  22. Luzahn

    Cmon Ruth, look, she doesn’t hate you.

    You may want to watch the ambush-kisses though.

    1. Yotomoe

      That only works in movies. And I guess also in webcomics….ok I’ll give you that.

    2. timemonkey

      I think it’s the being an emotionally and physically abusive bongo she needs to watch. The kiss itself was apparently fine, possibly the only fine thing Ruth ever did to her.

  23. Wonder Wig

    Something, something… Lilly Potter was a red head with green eyes and if Billie was a boy she might look like James.

    1. Aras Pabedinskas

      Look, I don’t want to hear any of that “You look like your mother, but you have your mother’s eyes” up in this comment thread.

    2. Totz the Plaid

      Billie’s half-asian in the Dumbiverse. I’m pretty sure James was completely white.

      1. guavajagular

        I’m not at all opposed to inadvertently racebending James into being half-asian.

        1. rachel

          . . . please tell me you just made up “racebending”

          :(:(:(

        2. Wonder Wig

          That comes after waterbending in the cycle.

  24. Raine

    DAAAAAAAAW THE IRONY.

  25. CollyWolly

    This is why Billie and Ruth are my two favorite characters. I don’t really ‘ship’ them, but I think they’re awesome in their own rights and it’s obvious they care about each other.

  26. ChenYue

    The feels. All of them.

  27. Luzahn

    Hopefully these two will be good for each other. Alcoholism probably won’t fix itself.

    Mostly they’re just a great pair though. =P

  28. Arkadi

    Ruth forgot for a moment that everything is always about Billie.

    1. alicemacher

      Has it occurred to you that in this case, it was about her?

      1. AgentKeen

        Something had to be eventually.

      2. gangler

        You’d literally have to assume there are no factors in Ruth’s life outside of Billie to reach that conclusion.

        1. timemonkey

          Billie’s actions were all about Billie.

      3. Arkadi

        Everything Billie does is always about Billie ;3 That’s what I meant. And I won’t be surprised if it turns out that Ruth drinking herself blind had to do with plenty of stuff besides Billie pushing her away.

        1. alicemacher

          I just don’t understand the Billie hate, that’s all. To me she’s become a very sympathetic character over the course of the comic.

        2. Arkadi

          Well, I don’t know about “hate”; I mean, it’s not like I want anything bad to happen to Billie. But she is pretty self-centered. That’s a fact. She can be sympathetic in spite of it.

  29. sumolegend

    Panel 4 is really givin’ me chills here.

    1. MLBlue

      your avatar seems to show you are getting something else. 😉

      1. Kernanator

        I was thinking the exact same thing.

  30. Uniqueantique

    Ruth attacks Billie.
    Billie rejects Ruth in no uncertain terms.
    Ruth drinks herself into a stupor.
    Billie automatically thinks its her fault……Why? Ruth has serious issues.
    So now Billie has handed her attacker a great mental club to hit her over the head with as she demands attention that Billie already rejected?
    Yeah, the two of them are pretty tight in more ways than one, but is it good?

    1. nothri

      Your ascribing a depth of amorality and manipulation to Ruth I do not see in the character. If what you say is true, then no it isn’t a good thing that Billie has done. But I’m not writing anyone off just yet. Ruth did some fucked up things. This is clearly something she has realized. What she does with that realization (hopefully besides drinking herself into another coma) is the most important question for me.

      1. Notebooked

        I agree with this. Ruth has done manipulative things (blackmail being one of the more obvious ones), but I don’t think she plays mindgames as a habit. To me she just seems unstable and confused and therefore confusing.

        1. Logician

          I’m not sure. I think the trophy shoes are a sign that Ruth enjoys the mindgames a lot, and is on the look-out for more victims.

        2. Notebooked

          Ooh, yeah, true! Didn’t consider the possible significance of that deeper than just a fun thing.
          The best explanation I can think of for that — other than her genuinely enjoying the mindgames, though not dismissing that as a valid explanation — is that she’s filling her room with trophies so that if she ever has intruders (like Billie, for instance) her status as a tough tyrant isn’t compromised.

        3. Logician

          I agree that’s possible. It could even be that that’s how she justifies her behaviour to herself: lots of tyrants claim their actions are necessary for some reason or another.

    2. Luzahn

      Billie hasn’t done anything wrong, true, but Ruth’s damage would have resulted from Billie’s actions. Guilt like that wouldn’t be rational.

    3. Platinakettu

      Although Ruth is a tolal B-word, I don’t see her doing something like that. But now would be a good time for Ruth to tell Billie abouth her past in Canada. So that she wouldn’t feel totally responsible for Ruth’s depression.

  31. Andiemus

    Remember, relationships based on suicide are only ok if Nicholas Sparks writes about them.

  32. Ray Radlein

    Dammit, now I’m trying to remember exactly who did what in the Roomies! car crash, just because.

    1. Notebooked

      Billie drove off drunk in a fit of pique, Danny followed her, Ruth followed him, a truck swerved and was about to crash into Danny, Ruth swerved in front of him, took the brunt of the crash and died. I think that’s how it went.

      1. John

        There were two car chases, and I think you’re conflating them. Danny drove off drunk in a fit of pique, and Ruth chased him down, then later Billie drove off in a fit of pique and Danny and most of the rest of the cast chased her down. Unfortunately, Ruth died and Danny didn’t.

        1. Notebooked

          That’s entirely possible — a bad memory combined with a long time since reading Roomies! makes for unreliable information. Thanks!

  33. Just for kix

    *closes eyes, rubs hands* now kiss!

    1. Scott

      Yes.

      1. maarvarq

        Just kiss her already!

        1. timemonkey

          She still tastes like vomit.

        2. Scott

          Brush her teeth and THEN kiss her! L=

  34. Kai Gon

    Well done, Mr. Willis! I still have no clue where this story may go…

    Since Billie sniffed the stains on the floor I was surprised each day with things I didn’t expect.

  35. Rookie

    The third panel is so amazing, it would be a really dope Gravatar.

  36. muttski

    The look Ruth is giving Billie, doesn’t seem to indicate that she took her comment very well. Pretty arrogant of Billie to assume that Ruth’s self destructive behavior, is due to her.

  37. AckAckAck

    So I’m back after a lot of stuff and try to catch up with the comic.

    I say Ruth is verrrrrrrry cute without her glasses. Now make sure she’s not dead again and at least find girl that actually care for her (Not Billie, I don’t see the spark in them).

    1. timemonkey

      I think Billie does care, but I agree there’s no spark between them.

    2. OmegaDez

      She’s cuter with the glasses. 😛

      1. John

        I’m withholding judgement until I see whether she keeps the new eyes after she puts her glasses back on.

        I think she could use different frames, in any case.

        1. OmegaDez

          She won’t…
          All the glasses people in Willisverse have different eyes with their glasses on.

        2. David

          …i don’t think any of the people i draw have different eyes with glasses on

        3. Animal

          Man, you do. I’ve seen you precisely once without your specs. I don’t scare easily, but you startled the hell out of me, Squinty McPeeperson.

        4. OmegaDez

          But… Take Ruth, for example. Her glasses are two white rectancles, her eyes are just two small Walky-like dots in them. Without them, she has a more detailed eye shape with green irises.

          …I didn’t mean this as a disrecpect sir!!

  38. Duall

    Drrrrrrrama Boooomb!

  39. Karen

    OK, now kiss. :3

  40. OmegaDez

    I hope they return to Ruth’s room soon so they can get her glasses back. ^^

    1. Kernanator

      Ummmmmm, they are in Ruth’s room.

      1. OmegaDez

        Wow you’re right.
        I thought they were in the hallway. But yeah, I totally miss that panel where she goes for the booze under her bed.

  41. SplashBoogie

    Act with integrity, no regrets

  42. Heavyoak

    I didn’t read the rest of the comments, but when are these 2 gonna bang?

    1. rachel

      ^ +10000000

      1. Notebooked

        Well, there’s lots of alcohol in the room, so…when someone strikes a match?

        1. Boom

          Everyone explodes in fire, screaming and death?

  43. newllend

    Trieing to kill herself over you, think about that

  44. DarkoNeko

    This kinda hurt.

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