239

Downstairs
Posted on April 29, 2015 by David M Willis
2015-04-patreon1previewI have a feeling folks say this to Malaya a lot. (It’s a panel from this month’s voter-decided Patreon bonus strip!  Marcie won! And so have some Marcie.  If you’re a pledger, you can go read the strip right now.) (Oh, and six days left in the Book 4 Patreon, while I'm linkin' stuff!)

239 thoughts on “Downstairs”

  1. Jen Aside

    WHAT’S IN THE FUCKIN’ BOXWHAT AREN’T YOU SAYING DANNY YOU TEASE

    1. GoogerGeiger

      What’s in the box? Schrödinger’s bisexuality?

      1. John

        What’s in the box? Maybe a penis, but we won’t know until we pull it out.

        1. Rowen Morland

          I’m imagining an unobserved penis folding into a vagina and back again like a four dimensional cube.

        2. Charlie Spencer

          Kinda like that old default Windows screensaver?

        3. Rowen Morland

          Yes!

        4. Halloween Jack

          Basically, a sexy, sexy Klein bottle. [/zappbrannigan]

        5. Disloyal Subject

          I think I’ve seen that gif.

        6. Deanatay

          I know guys’ dongs get scrunched up in there, but I never imagined quantum entanglement. This means we can’t know if it’s erect until we examine it.

        7. Chris

          Yes, that IS pretty much how it works, and the act of examining it pretty much guarantees it will be erect when you do.

        8. fogel

          It’s Heisenberg’s Pretty Much a Certainty Principle 🙂

        9. Kryss LaBryn

          Hahaha.

    2. Jen Aside

      ahahah stealth crotch rainbow

      1. Cerberus

        It’s coming out.

      2. Arianod

        Subtlety, thy name is Willis.

    3. Captain Batson

      A secret string.

    4. Onion

      Box, box, box, box, what’s in the box?
      Clocks, blocks, rocks, locks, a feller named Jaques?

  2. Ess

    These two are so awk.

    1. Doctor_Who

      And slightly adorb.

      But mostly dork.

      1. Ess

        Adawkable.

    2. sabes

      Well sed.

      1. John

        A true perl of wisdom.

    3. meanderling

      And they lost their virginities to each other, too. That must’ve been hilariterrible.

      1. Deanatay

        It’s simply ‘hillarrible’.

  3. Plasma Mongoose

    I WANT DETAILS!

  4. Demon Something

    Please! Give me awkward bisexual confessions Danny! PLEASE.

  5. Shadic

    Wish they hadn’t immediately broken up in this comic’s canon. Their interactions are fairly entertaining.

    1. LiaHansen

      that’s fair but also consider that that would mean Danny’s coming out would take EVEN LONGER

    2. Carriethedragon

      I have a feeling they’re better as friends.

      1. Spencer

        Same. They both clearly want different things out of a relationship and it wasn’t going to work out in the long term for either of them if they kept going. Even for Danny, who was so intent on marrying on, is better off like this.

        I’m glad to see them bouncing off of each other. They dated for a long time, so there had to be something there besides bitter fights.

        1. darkweaver

          I dunno, seems they both want the same thing in a relationship; penis.

        2. Doctor_Lantern

          Hey, oh!

      2. Rycan

        I think they’re more entertaining as exes, too. When they were a couple, it was painful to watch Danny bet the barn and everything inside on their relationship.

    3. Rich

      There’s always room for flashbacks. Although the Amber & Ethan pairing might be a more interesting for that.

  6. Twinkle Toes the Berserker

    Oh Danny, you useless bisexual.

    1. DudeMyDadOwnsADealership

      Ya forgot special snowflake. ‘s that too.

  7. luxlucis

    Oh GOSH, the suspense is killing me!

    1. Arikel

      with that avatar, I can only imagine you saying it with an amazingly sarcastic low tone

      1. Deanatay

        “The Plot Thickens…”
        “That’s no plot, that’s my…”

  8. DarkoNeko

    OUT WITH IT DANNY.

    (yeah, I know it’s pretty hard to do. but still)

    1. Carriethedragon

      “out” with it o ho ho ho ho (get it like out of the closet) (i’m hilarious)

      1. a snow ʍousɐ

        Or: Out YOURSELF with it, Danny
        where “it” is his butt plug

  9. Doc

    Damn it Danny.

    You go to Venezuala, not Cuba.

    1. Deanatay

      nono, relations are thawing, Cuba’s a viable destination now.

      1. Rycan

        Used to be you went to Cuba to escape the US. Now he has to go somewhere truly hostile to the U.S., like Canada.

        1. Kryss LaBryn

          Ironically, Canadians have never been barred from Cuba. Cubans escape to the US; Americans escape to Canada; Canadians escape to Cuba. Because their winters are nicer.

          It’s the circle of life.

        2. Rycan

          Now I’m imagining a nomadic people who spend their whole life doing just that; a North American version of the Roma?

  10. Archivist

    Oh no, Danny. Your everyman powers are encompassing how I deal with my problems.

  11. Spencer

    …Oh, Danny. Poor, stupid, Danny.

    1. Jimmy

      He’s not stupid, he’s nervous to talk about it. I’d say he’s being human.

      1. SonicBlueRanger

        Danny hate…I just don’t get it.

        1. Spencer

          I don’t hate him at all and he’s one of my favourite characters. I just feel bad for him because of how monstrously awkward this is.

      2. Gigafreak

        He’s being no stupider than the rest of us.

        Of course, stupid behavior is still stupid even if everybody does it.

        People bash him because they care, dammit!

        1. Rycan

          I think they bash him because they see too much of themselves in him. The embarrassingly awkward part of themselves.

        2. Sadie

          I cannot speak for everyone, but that is definitely why I love making fun of Danny. He’s a lovely representation of every awkward, short-sighted, and downright dumb mistake I did or could have made at his age. “Danning” is the verb I never knew I always wanted.

  12. Kernanator

    Danny’s last sentence is something I’ve felt so many times.

  13. saki

    Heh, I knew Danny wouldn’t get through that conversation without trying to run away once or twice or ten times.

  14. Plasma Mongoose

    If only Becky was around to blow Danny out of his closet…

    1. cesium133

      That sounds suspiciously like something Becky wouldn’t be interested in doing.

      1. Tacos

        Nuke from orbit though? She’s totally ok with that. Probably.

        1. 4th Dimension

          You mean get him out of the closed with a BANG *wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge*

      2. Plasma Mongoose

        Oh no people, nooooooo.

        1. Carriethedragon

          I’m ashamed to admit that my first thought was the same as cesium’s.

        2. awkweirdness

          Hey look! Your profile picture matches the text!

        3. Deanatay

          C’mon, Plas, you knew the commenters were listening when you said it.

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          Yes I believe I did but I still had to say it anyway.

      3. Usayasha

        How about, “If only Ethan were around to blow Danny out of his closet…” It wouldn’t even be cheating, because [SPOILER ALERT] Ethan is Amazi-Girl.

        1. DarkoNeko

          That would explain so many things.

        2. Rycan

          If Ethan were a masked vigilante, he’d be Blake, the sensitive Batman with saucers for eyes.

        3. DarkoNeko

          Or he could be… Questio the conqueror.

    2. Halloween Jack

      I approve of your finding a way to bring Becky into the situation, which should be the focus of every DoA situation.

      1. Rycan

        “I don’t think I’m cut out for studying, yep, that’s it. I don’t need you, textbook!”
        “Have you tried belching out the proofs?”
        *Mike duct-tapes Becky’s mouth shut*

    3. Kryss LaBryn

      Now, that’s an idea: how about instead of Cuba, he hides in her closet and texts her from there? It’s still all private, but it saves him from having to awkwardly try and explain face-to-face.

      Also the metaphor is hilarious.

      (I guess he could hide in the shared bathroom but considering that’s Amber on the other side, that could get super-awkward super fast. not everyone always remembers to lock the doors. Also the closet is just inherently funnier. “I will try to find my way out of the metaphorical closet with you… by going into your literal one!” 😀 )

  15. Stephen Bierce

    Downstairs, the big old house is mine
    Upstairs, the stars they laugh and they shine    –Stevie Nicks

  16. Kris

    Downstairs problems?

    1. Rich

      Idiom I always heard was that upstairs problems were mental/emotional, downstairs problems were sexual. Maybe kind of old-fashioned, learned that one in the late Seventies.

      1. Kris

        Oh! Duh! For a second I thought Danny had a basement or something.

        1. Rycan

          No, Danny’s basement isn’t flooded. And now ‘flooded basement’ has acquired a whole new meaning.

        2. Cory

          Oh, he does. In fact everyone has one, though i guess it’s really more of a mud-room.

          However Danny’s currently on the fence as to whether or not he should open his up for business.

        3. a snow ʍousɐ

          and now flooded basement has yet another new meaning
          diarrhea

      2. meanderling

        Oooooh. I honestly thought we were referring to the crotch region as…the downstairs. Whoops.

        1. Rich

          That is kind of what it means, but the term covers stuff beyond that. My parents used to use “downstairs problems” as code for erectile dysfunction when they were being mean about a couple that lived next door. I think I figured out what they were going on about at about age 10.

      3. Kryss LaBryn

        Huh. Hadn’t realized it was an upstairs/downstairs thing in that way; always just figured it was talking about below the belt, without referencing class. Being I guess just a step away from “down there”.

        1. Rich

          That was “crossing the Mason-Dixon Line” when I was a kid (no, not in the 1860s, I’m not quite that old). Heard a high-schooler use “crossing the equator” in the same way the other day.

  17. m-m

    What’s the rainbow poster in the background? Have we seen it before? (being lazy and also not wanting to get sucked into the archives) Also, this is a pretty remarkable example of how I felt coming out to several different people.

    1. Rich

      Peace symbol logo against a rainbow backdrop. Don’t think there was more to it.

      1. No Name

        It also says “Jesus”. Source: yesterday’s comic.

        1. Rich

          Oh yeah, you can see a “J” there, can’t you? And a “JES” two strips back. My eyes are failing me in my old age.

    2. John

      It’s been a standard part of the background in Dorothy’s room. I think it’s Sierra’s.

    3. Gank

      Foreshadowing. See how it’s hovering over Danny’s crotch?

  18. TSB

    I feel so bad for Danny and I’m so glad he’s talking to Dorothy about this. I don’t think she can meet his relationship needs as a friend or a girlfriend but I’m certain she’ll have good advice for him. Like I actually do think it’s possible Dorothy walked into IU not really knowing what bisexuality is but there’s no way she walked out of the past few classes of Gender Studies not knowing what bisexuality is, and even of she somehow still doesn’t she’ll have some sensible advice.

    Man, I’m feeling especially sympathetic to Danny’s sexual identity crisis these past couple days. I’m all soppy over this poor boy. Someone please help Danny…

    1. fogel

      Maybe Danny and Ethan can both show up at the Questioning Suport Group…Yes. I want that! Please Mr. Willis!!!

      1. saki

        It seemed to me Ethan didn’t feel ready for this kind of meeting when he talked about it with Joyce. Did I get that wrong? Though I guess he could always change his mind.

        1. Rycan

          I think Ethan has yet to decide. He made it clear to Joyce that he needs to come out when and only when he is ready to, but I don’t think he flat-out said no to the idea.

        2. No Name

          Ah, but is at least as flustered as Ethan is reluctant. It’ll balance out in the end.

      2. fogel

        I’m hoping that Ethan will decide to give the Questioning group a chance and if Dorothy points Danny in that direction, then maybe Ethan and Danny would start talking and could help each other. I don’t expect or need them to jump right into bed. I’m hopeful because Willis focused so much attention on the flyer that Joyce showed Ethan that maybe it’s Chevkovs Support Group Flyer. 😉 I certainly hope Ethan doesn’t look for another beard! And option 3 seems to be going back to a “miserable, isolated existence with some blond asshole as (his) only friend”. Though he does have joyce as a caring friend now, if she doesn’t push him too much. Maybe Becky can turn information a model of how joyful coming out of the closet can be? http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/02-choosing-my-religion/lincoln/

        1. Kryss LaBryn

          Well, he’s already come out once, though, and went from being Ethan-the-Geek to Ethan-the-Gay-Guy. I don’t think he’d have so much of a problem with being more open about it if he hadn’t already had that experience of his sexuality then becoming the whole defining point of his personality to everyone (which Becky really doesn’t have an issue with).

          He just wants to keep on being Ethan-the-Geek, and to hell with who he’s attracted to. Hard to blame him for that.

        2. fogel

          I think you are right. I think he has a much better chance now that Joyce has accepted him as gay and apologized for before and gave him some decent advice. Before Joyce all he had was his Mom, his seemingly useless dad, Amber, who was a rock for him but needed a break from his drama, and Mike, who told him that he had two totally ducky options and recommended going back in the closet ….I hope he goes to the group so he can broaden his acquaintance of gay folk and the possibilities of life as a gay person.

  19. Khaner

    I think he Danned up again.
    I feel kind of bad for him.

    1. newllend(henryvolt)

      Old habits are hard to kill

    2. Jimmy

      Actually I think he’s being understandably nervous about discussing it. I don’t know many people who wouldn’t.

      1. Rich

        Especially with an ex, even an understanding one.

  20. brumagem

    Danny Cuba is not the place you want to go in this situation. You probably want somewhere in Scandinavia. They are more accepting of this.

  21. Catullus

    My appreciation for Danny is increasing about 300% from this conversation.

  22. Anywhere

    But… BUTTS.

    1. DarkoNeko

      Butts butts butts

      1. Acher4

        Butt, butt, butt….

        Buttstuff 😛

  23. Tacos

    So why Cuba?

    1. Rich

      Old joke. It’s a traditional spot to seek asylum from the US. Close by, very hard to get extradited. Even before Castro took over you saw gangsters and corrupt political types hiding out down there while they waited for the heat back home to cool off.

  24. advancecasette

    maybe communism will accept me

  25. RandomNameGen

    Why is this complicated at all? Seriously? Just because he’s bi doesn’t mean he has to sleep with the first dude to give him a stiffy.
    That’s like saying even if you’re in a healthy relationship you should cheat on your SO cause someone else revved your engine.
    Stupid useless drama, now if he broke up with Amber, then it would make sense to deal with this.

    1. Usayasha

      The problem isn’t that he’s bisexual, it’s that he has no idea what bisexuality is, and so he has no idea how to handle the revelation that he has hot and bothered thoughts about Ethan.

    2. Spencer

      It’s complicated to Danny because he doesn’t know how to process feelings for guys. It’s new and uncharted territory for him.

    3. doubleW

      Well remember that his bisexuality makes literally no sense to him at this point. “But how can I be…half-gay? Were-gay? Is it a full moon?”

    4. AHR

      It’s based on reality, believe it or not. Lots of bi folks feel messed up when they come into their sexuality, because they go “do I like men or do I like women? Am I actually gay? Aaargh!” and they freak out and stuff. And then years later they realize they are bi.

      1. Zatar

        This is the reason that when I hear people saying that they won’t tell there children what bisexulity is I get mad.

        1. neeks

          I first learned about bisexuality when I was 19 and my sort of boyfriend (we went out for two weeks, idk if it even counts as a relationship at that point) came out to me as bi and I was just like ok so that’s a thing then. That being said it took me an embarrassing amount of time to figure out I’m asexual.

          I guess my point is sexuality isn’t a simple prospect for understanding, and it’s especially hard to figure out when you lack outside perspectives. Hoping Dorothy provides him an un-terrible one that helps him figure his shit out.

        2. APersonAmI

          I, too, took a long while to figure out I was asexual. That is a weird one though, because it really is realizing a lack of something.

          It took me until I was almost twenty to figure out I was asexual simply because before then, the only friend I had who would ever discuss sex was a self identified nymphomaniac, so being less sexual than them did not raise any flags for me about my own identity.

          And every other person around me was too awkward and too much of a teenager to talk about sex in any way other than innuendo – which, me not being a person who barely ever thought about sex, went completely over my head.

          On the plus side, I didn’t pick a label before that point, so at least it didn’t freak me out when the first person I fell in love with was the same sex as me.

        3. chisci

          hah, i’d had trouble identifying my sexuality because back in my hometown none of my friends talked about sex ever, like it wasn’t taboo or anything but it just wasn’t a topic that came up much or that we felt the need to point out much. we talked more about queerness as an identity thing rather than a sexuality thing, and we talked about partners and dates in a (kinda innocent, really) “i don’t want to talk about those friends SCREWING” tone. the few people i knew who were openly sexual were, well, openly sexual, so in context of undiscussed sexuality it was easy to dismiss them as messed up rather than, regular, i guess? it all kinda made it hard for me to realize that having a grand total of like TWO actual crushes at age 20 isn’t exactly zedsexual behavior~

          sorry for butting in with this, its just that i can relate to you and wanted to share my story :B

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          Zedsexual? You have a thing for this guy?

        5. Rycan

          Naw, must be a sexual attraction to anyone able to cut the letter Z into your clothing with a rapier.

        6. chisci

          What is a good word for non-asexual?

      2. Leorale

        Or, if they are at a very accepting school, they might just identify as bi-curious and settle into bisexuality after graduation. True story

        1. Leorale

          –but yes it’s important to know whom you centrally like even when you aren’t single. Why would this be unimportant?

      3. Masterofbones

        It can be pretty hilarious how in the dark people are about bisexuality. I once was in a MMF threesome, and somehow the girl(still friends) didn’t realize that I was bi, despite clearly enjoying both of them. I had to tell her like a year later when I found out it hadn’t clicked for her.

        1. RandomNameGen

          I want to face palm so hard when I read how far people can still be in the dark. I mean, we have the Internet now… Living in Alabama doesn’t feel like the same effective excuse it used to be.

        2. CF_Azaka

          You still need to know the right questions / key words for the internet to be useful. It’s great once the initial breakthrough is made for research or connecting with communities of similar people but it can’t pop up a window with ‘based on your search history you might be bi sexual. Click here to learn more.’

        3. Rich

          Given what can be done with search engine history now, that’s probably just waiting on some coding work. Not as much demand as business or domestic surveillance apps, though. Deciding how to set the parameters would be tricky and prone to error, but probably no worse than the way some of my newfeeds prioritize things based on past history.

        4. Gigafreak

          I fully expect it’d tell several hetero men that they’re lesbians and several hetero women that they’re gay men. (And who even knows what’ll happen to non-binary people…)

          “How was Google supposed to know your gender? You don’t have a Google+ account!”

          …And then nobody still signed up for it.

        5. fogel

          Well, who are we to question Google or any of our Algorithmic Overlords? They know and understand us better than we do ourselves!

        6. Rich

          Half the fun of the internet is the crazy recommendations you get out of the blue. Youtube may be the best for that – of course that string of WW2 military history videos I’ve been watching on autoplay should chain into ecchi anime and a Turkish language lesson. Perfectly reasonable when you think about it.

        7. fogel

          You remember the Star Trek TNG in which Picard sits Data down in front of a display screen and has him review every transmission, report, Fleet order, etc, which Data does faster than human eyes can even follow and Data sees the deep, deep, deep pattern hidden in the …data? That. Those amines and language lessons are !!!DAMN!!! Who didn’t balance the containment field on the …………………………………………………………………………………………

        8. Rycan

          It’s been my opinion that the Internet is very effective at enabling us to reinforce our own opinions. You can always find somebody who agrees with you, and comforted by their arguments, go on to ignore whatever went and challenged your worldview. Confirmation bias is a powerful thing – it keeps us sane, but makes us stubborn.

      4. RandomNameGen

        This is the problem with homophobia establishing sexuality as an identity.
        It doesn’t even make sense either, why do gays and bis have to have “identity issues” over personal preference on one subject? Do people have an identity crisis over liking tomatoes ?? Of course not. That would be silly. Like this obsession with defining people by their preference in partners.

        1. Random832

          Defining it as a “personal preference” is dangerously close to defining it as a choice.

        2. masterofbones

          I can’t really help that I like cucumbers more than peppers. It is just part of who I am.

          Preferences and choices are two totally different things. Preferences guide how we make our choices. Gay men can choose to have sex with women, but it isn’t likely to be enjoyable for them. Bi people can be celibate, though that might not be the most fun for them either.

          The act is a choice, the preference is not.

        3. Rycan

          So are we to honestly believe that self-discovery should always be completely devoid of “useless drama”? We’re talking about humans here, not some sort of robots. You can’t just dismiss that out of hand.

        4. fogel

          Perhaps Willis could do a parallel DoA in which The Drama Tag remains unpulled so we could see what that would be like in comparison.

        5. Rycan

          A brief glimpse, like in Shortpacked? Could work, but I don’t think Willis would want to recycle that. Some things are only funny the first time, and that may be one of them.

        6. fogel

          You are right and I meant it as a joke – sorry that it fell flat – about the suggestion that DoA has too much drama. DoA would be pointless without its drama. I suspect a week’s worth would prove that.

        7. Rycan

          No need to apologize.

        8. fogel

          I was raised in Baja Canada (ie the Mid West). 🙂

    5. saki

      Why, yes, please do chalk up what I’m guessing is Danny’s greatest identity crisis so far up to “stupid useless drama”. It’s not like bisexuality is still a widely unacknowledged thing to be or anything. /s 🙂

      1. RandomNameGen

        It’s only an identity crisis because he makes it one. “Oh no! I might be into guys too! That can’t be” kind of translates ( at least to me ) as “being into guys as well is a bad thing.” Which is a bit homophobic and something I will always qualify as useless drama.
        What he should be saying is “do I like men too? Let’s go to the porncave ( meant to sound like bat cave) and find out! Oh! I am! And I like pecan pie too! Yay, two new worlds of delicious treats are open to me now.”

        1. Jimmy

          He’s still trying to process things. He still barely understands it. I don’t get why you and others have difficulty understanding that.

        2. Kryss LaBryn

          Fuck, I’m in my mid-forties and still trying to figure it out.

          Certainly didn’t help that I barely was aware that gay guys were a thing let alone that women could also be gay. Or that trans were a thing. Or two-souled. Or asexuals. Or poly.

          At least there’s a greater non-straight media presence these days. As someone up-thread said, even with the Internet it’s hard to find out info if you don’t even know what questions to ask.

          At least I am very open with my kids about different sexualities out there; hopefully, if either of them are non-cis, they’ll have an easier time figuring it out than I did (and hopefully they will also know that it won’t bother us).

          Watching “Community” with them probably helps too, ha ha. Dean Pelton <3.

        3. Peep

          Look, in this entire thread you’re being very flippant and minimizing about something that is genuinely very difficult and confusing for real people in real life. It’s not as easy as deciding you like tomatoes or pecan pie, it’s opening up to yourself about some very personal things (love and sex are a lot more important to humans than food preferences). And when you realize it or if the blue like Danny did, you need a little bit of time to process. It doesn’t help that he doesn’t have a weird for it.

          It seems like you’re trying to blame the whole thing on homophobia, and sure, maybe if homophobia wasn’t a real thing, people would talk about homosexuality and bisexuality more and the whole thing wouldn’t be as confusing, but it’s absolutely unfair to pin someone’s confusion with feelings they don’t understand on their own internalized homophobia. Danny’s process strikes me as really realistic–I went through the same thing. You’re welcome to be annoyed and roll your eyes at him, but it’s pretty clear you don’t know what it’s like to struggle with your sexuality, so please stop telling everyone how easy it should be. Forever.

        4. Peep

          *a word for it

          Dangit, mobile!

        5. Rycan

          It’s hard to know for certain, but I’d argue that even if we pulled a magic eraser and removed homophobia, discovering sexuality would still be bewildering and confusing. Isn’t that a big part of puberty? And in Danny’s case, he’s discovering that he may have been wrong about his sexuality.

          In other words, I don’t think it will ever be easy and simple. Not for humans. (Not saying that we couldn’t make it a hell of a lot less difficult, though).

        6. saki

          Wow I didn’t think I’d encounter such high lack of understanding on a site like this. Not everyone can immediately be fine with whatever life throws at them. It’s not at all that Danny thinks it’s bad being into guys, he just doesn’t understand what’s going on because he’s been into girls all his life, but now he’s attracted to a dude, and it’s confusing because he always thought sexuality was binary; you’re either straight or gay.
          If from your perspective all of that just looks like pointless drama, you might wanna consider trying to see things from a different perspective. 🙂

        7. Chrissy

          “If from your perspective all of that just looks like pointless drama, you might wanna consider trying to see things from a different perspective. :)” yes! Thank you! This needs to be shouted from the rooftops. If, in ANY situation, people are getting together and saying something is an issue, it IS an issue for them, full stop.

        8. Rycan

          So… it’s Danny’s fault that he’s having an identity crisis?

    6. J42

      I’m bisexual and had (mostly internally) what Danny’s got for a few months. Even though I knew of the identity, I never took it seriously as reality.

      I assumed I was gay and, despite any attraction to women, I was ‘really’ gay and just couldn’t accept it. Or vice versa and want to be special by identifying as gay when ‘really’ straight.

      It was hearing from someone I admire about their similar struggle, that made it click. I think it doesn’t help with our binary understanding of Orientation (Has a penis touched you: Yes No)

    7. Rycan

      No, I don’t think Danny intends to just dump Amber for Ethan, especially since things are going so well with Amber (well, according to Danny, at least – but that’s another matter entirely). I know that some readers are hoping that happens, for various reasons, but don’t confuse what they want with what Danny wants.

      No, Danny is looking for a way to figure out what the hell is going on. He has a girlfriend, there is obvious sexual attraction in that relationship, but why is he crushing on her ex? A guy. What does that even mean? Is he confused? Is he actually gay? Is he actually straight?

      Everything in that second paragraph is driving him to ask his ex for help working all this out. And the concern with Amber is that he’s afraid of how she’ll react. Especially with the fact that it’s Ethan, of all people, who’s triggered this self-revelation.

      1. fogel

        Not to mention that A-Girl could beat Danny to a pulp. I assume that’s what he was referring to when he told Dorothy, “Not if I want to live.”

        1. anonymsly

          Plus, Amber told him way back that she’s already been dumped for dudes, and Danny (prior to self-discovery) confirmed that he liked girls and wasn’t closeted.

          It could be a very real fear for him that if he tries to talk about this with Amber, she’ll accuse him of lying to her about that, quite apart from her falling apart over ‘this happening to her again’.

    8. Keeveet

      I think he mostly wants to talk about the bisexuality, but it’s not his only problem. It’s not a good thing when you can’t stop having sexual thoughts about your girlfriend’s ex, who is now both your friend.

      1. Rich

        Especially for someone who’s been shown as pretty rigid about monogamy so far. Being attracted to anyone besides his current partner would make him feel a bit guilty, and the tangle of past relationships with Ethan and Amber makes that worse.

    9. Tristan J

      Okay, I just want you to know that despite trying to express myself in a calm and construtive manner, I am extremely angry with basically everything you’ve said in this thread.

      Dismissing a bi dude’s struggles with his identity is extremely rude and condescending. It would be absolutely lovely if we lived in an ideal world that didn’t punish and shame people for being attracted to the same gender, but unfortunately we do not. This leaves gay and bisexual people with a complex over their sexuality. I’m deeply sorry a realistic representation of that complex is boring to you, but I’m enjoying it.

      Also: “It’s only an identity crisis because he makes it one. “Oh no! I might be into guys too! That can’t be” kind of translates ( at least to me ) as “being into guys as well is a bad thing.” Which is a bit homophobic and something I will always qualify as useless drama.” – This is where I’m struggling not to lose my temper. No shit, that’s what we call internalised homophobia. That is an actual part of the complex that a homophobic society puts upon us.

      Like, Danny (and more importantly I and other real people) live in a society that tells us there’s something wrong with us for being attracted to the wrong people, and we have to overcome the self-loathing this gives us, and you have the gall to come in and say “That’s useless drama”? I mean, I’m not asking you to enjoy the story, but please be a little more respectful of a real struggle.

    10. Kabo

      Maybe he’s in wuv?

  26. JessWitt

    Man, I miss Cuban food. I especially liked a particular dessert, a chocolate cigar like Castro smokes. The tip is even cut off and left on the plate.

  27. Rich

    “SUSPENSE” And now I’m thinking about that grappling hook again.

  28. Jinxed44

    Haha, he’s got a rainbow flag crotch!
    A foreshadowing of the foreskin indicating his frequent flights of fancy!

  29. Architex

    ABORT
    Loss of motivation! Can no longer proceed with end of statement!
    I REPEAT:
    ABORT!

    1. Gigafreak

      I don’t know if he can retry, but he certainly is full of fail sometimes

    2. Rich

      From his pose, it’s possible that he suddenly started channeling the spirit of a mime trapped in an invisible box. Hardly surprising he couldn’t say a word under those circumstances.

  30. Rich

    Off topic, did anyone else notice that Carla is moonlighting over on the Rock Cocks strip? “Emily Roller” is a very silly stage name, but with an act like that I can see where she wouldn’t want to use her real name.

    1. dralou

      Huh ? They don’t have any personality traits in common and don’t even look alike… Carla would have made a snarky answer or ten in the same situation.

  31. thebatman22

    GET ON WITH IT

  32. No

    nice rainbow placement

  33. DarkoNeko

    Also : not “but”, danny. “butts”.

  34. Nine

    AUGGGGH SPIT IT OUT

    1. DarkoNeko

      Kinky

    2. fogel

      Or swallow, whichever.

  35. A5PECT

    Dang it, Danny. If you’d waited a panel longer we could’ve seen Dorothy’s mouth lower all the way off of her face.

    Also curious, did we ever see Dorothy and Danny establish between each other that they both know Amber = Amazi-Girl? I know Amber revealed her identity to Danny, and Dorothy figured out on her own. But have Dorothy and Danny ever talked to each other about Amazi-Girl before?

    1. Spencer

      Only ever really in bursts of Dorothy trying to get information out of him.

      Yesterday’s strip confirms that both know that the other is aware of Amazi-Girl’s identity.

  36. Rycan

    I know that Danny’s going through a confusing time, judging by the comments here, but I can’t help but wonder if things were always this weird between Danny and Dorothy.

    1. Spencer

      I imagine that Danny wasn’t talking about his confusing attraction to men most of the time.

      1. Rycan

        I know that, I’m just thinking of the way he handles this. And, more importantly, Dorothy’s reaction to it all – I think that part can be assumed to be pretty standard.

        1. Bagge

          Dorothy is very passive right now, aside from the occasional smartassary she just let’s him say his piece before she reacts. Given both of their personalities I assume she was much more prone to lead the discussion (and lead him towards a conclusion) when they were an item.

          I’m pretty sure Danny hopes for that old dynamics again, but she doesn’t want to fall back into it.

    2. ThatGuy

      Well even if Danny is a prude/inexperienced with sex,

      not only is there the huge “come to terms with your sexuality” bit,

      but men who like men always have to deal with the reflexive “I’m not THAT gay” instincts

      PLUS its often hard for bisexuals(so i hear) since lots act like Bisexuals are just perverted Straights, or nostalgic/pseudo-closeted gays.

      Possibly reinforced by the fact that he was relatively quick to tell his Ex that he has great sex with his current dominant girlfriend.

      So i doubt its just “ineasy with Sexual situations” things.

  37. David Alexander McDonald

    Upstairs, downstairs, in Ethan’s backdoor chamber DANGIT BRAIN.

  38. Aeron

    The rainbow poster in the back, outlining Danny’s “downstairs”. Perfection, Willis, perfection.

    1. ThatGuy

      I know commenting on people’s random avatars vs Comments but I chuckle because it makes it seem like a Mary attitude Joyce being super sarcastic with a “Ug, these gays and their gay propoganda Bs.” thing.

      1. Rycan

        That’s not one of the random gravs, just like how mine isn’t.

      2. Tacos

        Now it makes me wonder what sort of thoughts my gravatar produces in others.

        1. Rycan

          In combination with your screen name? I’ve been tempted to facetiously claim that your comments are just the thoughts of someone who thinks they are a taco. Or tacos. But I decided that would be mean instead of silly, and we have more than enough mean around here.

          You did ask.

          For the record, this is coming from someone who uses a watermelon wearing headphones as an avatar on Disqus. And who occasionally pretends to be said watermelon. I’m trying to be less silly here, but I do lapse.

  39. Bagge

    I start to believe that Dorothy has a type

    1. brumagem

      Simple?

      1. Rycan

        Skittish, apparently.

        1. Rich

          Lacking all dignity?

        2. Rich

          Or fond of cosplay? Walky used to dress up as a pink cartoon mouse, and Danny likes girls in capes.

  40. CarlaGriffin

    If this is a Cuba level crisis then I need to know immediately Danny!

  41. Bill

    Just found this on the web and I thought I’d pass it along here.
    Amazi-Girl had her “Whiteboard Ding-Dong Bandit”; the UK has “The Blacktop Ding-Dong Artist”.

  42. Darth Cariss

    Aw, man. The Patreon strips get subtitles for the signing? That’s just not fair!

    1. ceec

      haha i thought the patreon strip preview was a slipshine preview. “that explains it… but i cant say I saw it coming.”

  43. Cthulhu's Intern

    Is the next month just going to be Danny unable to spit it out?

    1. DarkoNeko

      Maybe it’ll be the next Slipshine.

      1. Rich

        Too implausible, I just can’t swallow that. 🙂

        1. DarkoNeko

          Neither can he, apparently.

  44. grantimusmax

    I’m so glad that Becky’s hair is more distinguishable from Danny’s, because despite opposite personalities, dang they look similar sometimes.

    1. ThatGuy

      Its the soulless eyes

  45. Lordess of Madness

    And WE’ve gotta wait til tomorrow to know!

  46. Nono

    Another good thing about all this is that Dorothy knows that Ethan is gay. She’s probably a bit more tactful than to immediately ship her ex-boyfriend with her best friend’s ex, but she could set in… machinations.

    1. Nono

      That said with all this SUSPENSE, I’m guessing Joyce or Becky is going to show up and drag Dorothy (and Danny) to the dorm party before Danny can spit it out. DRAGGING IT OUT

      1. saki

        Oh no. No no no no no no no no. No. Please no. D:

        Seriously, I wouldn’t put it past Willis to do that. He seems to enjoy making us squirm.

    2. Kamino Neko

      Ethan’s not only Dorothy’s best friend’s ex, he’s also Danny’s current girlfriend’s best friend and ex. It’s really just a whole lot of awkward.

      1. Bagge

        Or, as Danny says, Saturday

        1. Rycan

          His Mondays must be a special kind of hell, then.

    3. Greenygal

      Ethan is closeted and Danny has a girlfriend. Either of those things could change, but Dorothy ought not–and, I’m pretty sure, would not–try to change them herself.

      1. fogel

        True, but might not Joyce try to recruit Joyce to ship Ethan and Danny? I’d bet that Joyce would squee if Ethan “found somebody”.

        1. Greenygal

          I’m sure Joyce would be happy if Ethan found a nice guy. But I don’t think her first choice for the position would be somebody who’s currently dating someone else.

          …although I suppose Joyce’s understanding of bisexuality is on par with Becky’s, so if she somehow found out about Danny being attracted to Ethan (I’m not sure how, as I can’t see either Danny or Dorothy telling her, but drama finds a way) she might well perceive it as Danny being in the same sort of false relationship with Amber that Ethan was with her. Which would be both horrible and hilarious.

      2. fogel

        HM. I just remembered that Ethan said before Joyce that he wanted/needed to find a Jewish gay nerd. At least to settle down with. HM.

    4. Spencer

      Speaking as a Danny/Ethan shipper, I’m bothered how much people ignore that he has a girlfriend already. He’s not going to immediately jump Ethan’s bones because he figured out he’s attracted to him.

    5. Rycan

      I don’t see Dorothy actually trying to sabotage Danny’s relationship with Amber, unless she felt that it was an unhealthy one and he needed to get out of it yesterday (that may happen later if Amber loses control, but it’s not the case now). Otherwise, she’d be a jerk to try that, and Dorothy isn’t a jerk.

  47. Wisharts

    I am fiercely enjoying Dorothy/Danny: THE FRIENDSHIP much more Dorothy/Danny: THE RELATIONSHIP

  48. hof1991

    I know Dorothy is being a good friend, but that is not a welcoming and supportive face. She’s looking more like someone’s mother.

    1. Spencer

      Dorothy tends to do that when she hears peoples’ problems.

      Even then, this is super awkward for her. I can’t exactly blame her.

      1. Greenygal

        She doesn’t even know what the problem is yet, except it’s somehow connected to his new girlfriend. She’ll probably be more supportive when he actually explains.

    2. Rycan

      That face says “I am trying, but I cannot help if you don’t tell me what’s wrong”. Also remember that she’s not very thrilled to be caught up in the middle of an issue between her ex and his current girlfriend.

      1. Rycan

        Oh, and I bet she feels like Danny’s mother right now.

    3. fogel

      I’d imagine that she might have mothered Danny some when they were together. She does seem to have an inclination that way, like when Walky had spilled food on his shirt and didn’t change it. Walky is the Ur-type Man-Child.

    4. Ibaimendi

      Even aside from that… those times when someone gets your attention, begins a sentence, and then stops for several seconds before getting to the point? SO FRUSTRATING. Cannot blame Dorothy for being exasperated with that.

      I’m really happy about this conversation, though. I really want these two to be friends again!

  49. JBento

    I find Cuba to be an appropriate destination, considering he’s having a Crisis concerning his Missile.

    1. Maveric1984

      Aaaaand now I need a new keyboard. This one is covered in spit and coffee.

  50. fogel

    If Danny does discover that he’s bi and comes out to him, is Joe going to freak?

    1. anonymsly

      I personally don’t think so. It might take him a little time to acclimate, but whether or not they’re getting along well at the moment, Joe has been Danny’s best friend pretty much their whole lives. I don’t see any version of Joe being the level of jerk it would take to completely abandon and reject a lifelong best friend that way.

    2. Greenygal

      His reaction when Danny talked to him about it suggests that he doesn’t care whether Danny’s bi, per se; he just doesn’t want to deal with his identity crisis.

      1. Rich

        Or anything personal at all. No more than a casual friend, no matter how long they’ve known each other. If Joe’s close to anyone, I’m missing it.

    3. Spencer

      I doubt Joe is completely lacking in any sort of casual homophobia. He seems like the type of guy who’d say something like “just don’t do it around me.”

      1. Rycan

        Agreed. I don’t think he’ll be terrible, certainly nowhere near the level of Ethan’s parents, but I bet there will be some bumps before it ceases to be an issue.

  51. kishimobot

    Update: there is no downstairs problem between Voldemort and Danny

  52. Tenn

    “You know Ethan? Amber’s ex-boyfriend?”
    “Yeah.”
    “Imagine him… ripping his shirt off and screaming ‘SEXO LOCO!’ at the top of his lungs.”
    “Oookaaaaay…”
    “Do you see where I’m going with this?”
    “I’m not sure. Does it involve drugs?”

    1. fogel

      “Wait, you mean Ethan, Joyce’s boyfriend?”

  53. Whittier

    I love how there’s a bit of rainbow peaking behind Danny.

  54. fogel

    Danny doesn’t know that Ethan is gay, does he?

    1. Whittier

      Correct, he doesn’t yet know.

      1. fogel

        So he feels like he can’t talk to Amber or Ethan. I hope even more that Ethan & Danny both go to the Questioning group.

  55. man jean

    you know, coming out really is this hard. it might seem really fucking paranoid, but that’s because we’ve been conditioned to be super anxious about a still-taboo thing. also i think this paranoia translates well for most anxiety disorders. have you learned too much about me yet

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