156

Strategy
Posted on January 7, 2024 by David M Willis

156 thoughts on “Strategy”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    “Ms. Billingsworth, you’re trying to seduce me. Aren’t you?”

    1. Ana Chronistic

      wow, what if Dotty ends up getting stabbed in the hand when holding up that liquor store

      MATCHING SCARS WITH SAL

      1. Ryan

        I approve of this plan.

        Wait, no I don’t.

        Or do I.

        No, certainly not.

        Unless …

      2. Thag Simmons

        it’s a lot less cool when the scar is self-inflicted

      3. Decidedly Orthogonal

        And then twinsies seduces Sal, making her break up with…

        Danny! Muwahahhaa!

        1. jflb96

          Be a lot less effort and pain and potential nerve/tendon damage to get with Sal’s twin, who is conveniently single.

          Also, I feel like she’d get halfway through before remembering who Sal’s with and abandoning the plan out of guilt.

    2. BarerMender

      I visualized, for a few seconds, Dorothy and Ruth having sex. That was jarring. I couldn’t feature a way it could happen. Dorothy might do it if she were drunk, but Ruth would say, “Ew, get off me, you nine-year-old woman.”

      1. Needfuldoer

        She’s not that scrawny…

        1. ValdVin

          Ruth and Dorothy are each pretty trim, build-wise.

        2. HueSatLight

          what’s that song, with a xylophone and it’s sexy?

  2. BBCC

    Uh how dare you, Dorothy would meticulously plan that robbery and NAIL it thank you.

    1. Yumi

      Dorothy might be able to plan a robbery, but I don’t think she could pull off a robbery. She’d have to be behind the scenes.

      1. Vulcanodon

        Now I’m picturing alt-universe Dorothy in an evil suit with a white cat…

        1. Needfuldoer

          Now I want to draw TOS-era Mirror Universe Dorothy, but I can’t draw.

        2. David DeLaney

          with a blond goatee

        3. Time Sage

          Just quickly edit any image of her to have an evil goatee

        4. Dave the Inverted

          That would be epic.

      2. Booyahman

        Dorothy would go Leverage Nate Ford EXTREMELY quickly. Dina would be Parker.

    2. Chaucer59

      No, Dorothy would meticulously plan the robbery, execute it flawlessly, and then immediately turn herself in. At the arraignment, she would refuse bail and then demand to represent herself at trial. She would win the case, being found not guilty either by reason of her overwhelming need for the therapy of successful larceny or simply because that liquor store was just asking for it. Then, she would spend the next few years advocating for bail reform.

      1. Agemegos

        To be fair, the US dose desperately need bail reform.

        1. Chaucer59

          Absolutely!

    3. Samniel

      She would meticulously plan a robbery but the second one thing goes against her plans (which would be… pushing when the door says pull), she’d unravel, try to make up a new plan on the spot, then panic when someone asks what she’s doing and yell “CERTAINLY NOT PLANNING TO ROB THIS STORE!”

      1. clif

        Hey, I’m going to borrow and adopt that the next time the bank teller asks me how I’m doing today. Or maybe just casually volunteer the information when I walk into the local convenience store.

        But maybe not in a place I’m not known.

      2. BarerMender

        I walked in a bank one time holding, by happenstance, a banana. I trained it on the teller and said, “This is a stickup.” She gave a look that said, “Boy, you’re about to get your ass in a crack.” But I said, “Give me all te bananas,” and then it was all right.

      3. anon

        She’d also write a handwritten apology note to teh cashier and offer to pay for their therapy too lol

    4. newlland(Henryvolt)

      She would have the plan Thoroughly thought out but she wouldn’t have the stomach to follow through.

    5. C.T. Phipps

      Dorothy would plan the robbery, someone would walk in, and she’d end up utterly going to pieces as things very slightly go array.

      Either ending in her unable to threaten someone or multiple dead bodies.

      1. Miri

        … Do you not recall Dorothy in the basement immediately after being violently abducted, putting together a plan? And coolly telling Blaine that his problem was he left them their teeth? She can function under pressure.

        If Dorothy was thoroughly convinced that she needed to rob a bank and it was the right thing to do, she would do it…

        And ironically it might convince her that she was willing to do the not-so-pleasant things she’d need to as President and re-rail the same career ambitions one might think bank robbery would permanently end… So hopefully she gets a good enough disguise she doesn’t get caught? (A few people have not known who she is, although one of those was Carla… Arguably a decent wig, glasses, specially purchased in cash clothes that can’t be easily traced back to her/her friends group – generic white T-shirt and blue jeans with label hidden or something? The sort of outfit that pretty much everyone her age will own), gloves, and a plan to get past the dye packs (no idea how you do that coz I’ve never planned/executed a robbery)…

  3. clif

    I have missed these two interacting.

    1. Rose by Any Other Name

      I know, right?

    2. Karadaga

      I know, right?! They bounce off each other like light off a mirror. It’s like they were made in a lab to be one another’s perfect foil

    3. Steamweed

      These two interacting is a double slit experiment. Both particle and wave, and lots and lots of interference.

  4. Masumi

    Hey, Dorothy might be *great* at holding up liquor stores. Every detail taken into account, nobody will ever catch her.

    1. Mym

      She’d leave money on the counter

    2. Masumi

      Dammit I’m the first non-Sal in the comments, why am I not Sal?

      1. clif

        Someone has to wind up with the second best avitar.

      2. Makkabee

        That a bunch of Sal avatars are responding makes this even better.

  5. Dave Van Domelen

    “Can we try a solution that won’t derail the story into Slipshine first?”

    1. Proxiehunter

      “No.”

      1. clif

        Absolutely not.

        1. newlland(Henryvolt)

          The slipshine material here sounds pretty good so it’s hard to agree.

    2. Bicycle Bill

      Let’s derail it into Slipshine territory f̶i̶r̶s̶t̶, and then worry about the story.

      1. elebenty

        Almost every time I see you comment, my brain goes to Shel Silverstein and I wonder if Bicycle Bill lives way up on Bicycle Hill.

        His is “Backward Bill” — and it’s as catchy as any of his poems.
        https://allpoetry.com/poem/14374600-Backward-Bill-by-Shel-Silverstein

  6. Yotomoe

    “Hey we saw you across the room and we like your vibe.”

    1. Rose by Any Other Name

      Jennifer: Okay, new plan. We actually do go fuck Dorothy’s brains out. That’s sure to fix her.

      Ruth: So we’re just leaning in to your unintentional innuendo now?

      Jennifer: I mean, my cooter pulled you out of a depressive spiral. Who’s to say it won’t work again?

      Ruth: I’m pretty sure that was the counseling and medication, actually.

      Jennifer: What, so you’re not on board with my plan?

      Ruth: No, let’s go fuck Dorothy. She’ll probably do a better job eating me out than the brit.

      1. NGPZ

        10/10, Professor! XD ^^

      2. Sajuuk-Khar

        Jason, from literally JUST off-panel: Rude?!?

    2. Bogeywoman

      “Hey we saw you from across the room and we hate your vibe.”

      1. Bogeywoman

        https://imgur.com/gallery/D8u1EV6
        Hadta

        1. NGPZ

          fucking LOL XD

          *plays “Closer” by Nine Inch Nails on hacked muzak*

        2. milu

          aaaaaaah that is so perfect <3 <3

        3. PirateTawnee

          that’s lovely, great stuff.

        4. HueSatLight

          cackling like a hyena

        5. Amós Batista

          YEEESSS

    3. Sajuuk-Khar

      Dorothy: *begins sobbing*

      Jennifer: Hey! What the hell, we’re trying to—

      Ruth: Oh, did someone forget our vibe was “lesbian suicide pact?”

      Jennifer: IT WAS A SEXY LESBIAN SUICIDE PACT, GOD DAMN YOU

    4. Rabid Rabbit

      “Hey we saw you across the room and we like think you should use your vibe more.”

      Fixed it for ya.

  7. Dante

    You can feel Ruth struggling in these panels. She really wants to stay patient but Jennifer #life is testing her.

    (Jennifer, please stop meddling with Ruth’s sex life, lmaooo)

  8. Mym

    Threesome, girlies!!

    1. Sajuuk-Khar

      Jennifer all queuing up “Let’s Get It On”, Ruth growling in aggravation as she grudgingly undoes a bewildered Dorothy’s bra

      1. Mym

        Once again, your gravatar does this justice

    2. anon

      other than being shipped with joyce, has dorothy showed any inclination she’d be interested/consider anyone else if she were to hookup with anotehr girl?

      or maybe htey end up drunk first and wake up next to each othr XD;

  9. NGPZ

    Dorothy X Jennifer!!!! DOROTHY X JENNIFER!!!! <3

    (i really wanna see this happen ^^)

    1. RassilonTDavros

      Honestly, same.

    2. Proxiehunter

      Dorthifer.

      1. NGPZ

        Jennithy! Fuuuuuuuuusion HA!!!

        1. David DeLaney

          Darth Billie.

        2. Makkabee

          You win seventeen internets.

  10. Drain

    TWO gags? DYW is spoiling us

  11. RassilonTDavros

    These two just can’t interact with each other without inevitably settling into an old married couple dynamic. I love it.

    1. UrsulaDavina

      Yeah if only their previous romantic entanglment wasn’t so toxic and built on suicide pact.

      1. mneme

        I mean, yes. But if it weren’t for that minor (lol) bit they’d be perfect for each other.

        I mean, maybe. Or they’d drag one another back to a hell of their own design. Who Can Tell?

      2. Sajuuk-Khar

        It’s not a bug it’s a feature

      3. AlexaSpuds

        Yeah but at the point of their break up their relationship mostly transformed from said toxic thing into something stable and beautiful, it’s a fucking shame Ruth’s self destructive tendencies eventually got the best of Billie 🙁

      4. Li

        Was this reply necessary

        Especially with that brutal phrasing

        Like did RassilonTDavros hurt your feelings so you wanted to hurt them in return or

        1. milu

          i dont read it as particularly brutal fwiw?
          indicative of the sometimes frustratingly different approaches to this comic in this comment section yes, but it doesn’t read as purposely aggro to me

        2. Li

          “aw these two are cute”
          “yeah they’d be cute IF ONLY they weren’t so toxic and also built on a suicide pact”

          I dunno, this seems to me like bludgeoning someone who, for all you know, finds suicide to be a topic they don’t want to talk about cavalierly, with a short blunt comment that also calls the ship they were just enjoying toxic? It seems mean to me.

          Maybe that’s just me tho.

        3. Li

          It’s a whole style of reply ’round these parts, too. “I like this interaction!” “Yeah well DON’T FORGET, WORST INTERPRETATION OF THEIR DYNAMIC”

          How is the first person supposed to reply? “Gosh thanks, I’d forgotten!”

        4. HueSatLight

          to be blunt, you’re doing the “WORST INTERPRETATION” about someone’s comment. everyone else managed to read the reply without interpreting that Ursula was trying to hurt Davros’ feelings.

        5. Li

          Everyone except Davros, you mean, who hasn’t said anything?

        6. Li

          Like you’re talking as if I barged into a happy conversation, but just because you didn’t have an issue with the phrasing doesn’t mean no one else did.

          Idk, friend, I’m really tired of seeing someone try to be happy about a cute moment only for someone else to show up with a bucket of ice water.

          Maybe Ursula didn’t mean anything by it; like I said it’s very normal around here. But I’d argue that they should have at least hesitated to dump “suicide pact” on someone who didn’t indicate a willingness to talk about that specific part of the ‘ship.

    2. newlland(Henryvolt)

      Old habits die hard.

  12. not someone else

    Okay, I gotta say, that alt text made me literally lol.

    1. clif

      You have to admit, it asks a good question.

      1. David DeLaney

        technically, it wasn’t a question?

        1. milu

          is your stance that the sole criterion for a sentence to be a question that it end in a question mark

        2. David DeLaney

          see, that’s simply a request for clarification —

        3. milu

          are we doing a bit, i’m confused now.

        4. Aura

          I think you are?

    2. Jo_cubstar

      I loved it too

  13. DailyBrad

    Fucking amazing.

  14. UrsulaDavina

    As long as they know this a stupid plan I don’t see a single reason. Why they shouldn’t double down. no i see many reasons but devil take hindmost seems to be Jennifer’s motto.

  15. newlland(Henryvolt)

    To think if Dorothy was having this crisis at a different point in time she would have been in line for an opportunity for a Jennifer and Ruth 3 way.

    But as hot as that would be and as I hate to say it, Jennifer needs to realize at some point that getting fucked is not an answer to everything. Not even if she’s the one who does it herself. Getting her high was probably a better plan.

    1. Coatl

      The detail is that she believes that everything is fixed with that, well, she believes that she knows everything and her advice is impeccable, without errors.

      1. Coatl

        By the way, I mean Jennifer

  16. HueSatLight

    They should try knocking on doors and asking if anyone on the floor would have sex with Dorothy.

    1. Mym

      Get Sarah involved.

      1. newlland(Henryvolt)

        Now that’s some good juxtaposition right there.

      2. HueSatLight

        “Hi Mandy, I want to apologize for the other day, that was extremely inappropriate of me. … while we’re here though…”

        1. clif

          Mandy listens intently.

        2. NGPZ

          hmm, the grim adventures of Jennifer (formerly Billy) and Mandy

        3. HueSatLight

          Ruth as Grim

  17. C.T. Phipps

    At one point does trying to get your ex to have sex with other women become a kink?

    This is twice now and while that’s not a lot, it’s still weird it’s happened twice.

    1. Reltzik

      1) Jennifer’s not actually trying to do that.

      2) It’s not all that weird to hook up an ex, if you’re on good terms with them. Not the most common thing in the world, but not necessarily a kink.

      1. Sere

        I have in fact… hooked up my exes.

  18. Reltzik

    Oh dear, Dorothy’s devolving to “tween Sal” levels of messed up.

  19. Bryy

    Jennifer please fucking stop.

  20. sdrainbow

    One, excellent depiction of the :< face, ten points to Willis.

    Two, "okay, yeah, I hear it" is not a sentence I expected to see in Dumbing of Age ever. Wow.

    1. StClair

      Is the latter a reference to something in particular?

      1. Daibhid C

        I vaguely associate it with Friends, but I couldn’t tell you the episode.

        1. PirateTawnee

          Season one, an early “Chandler might be gay” episode, when the friends are getting ready for a funeral, and Chandler walks in and says “well don’t we all look nice, dressed up like this? Oh yeah, I hear it now”.

          Now that I think about it, they may have used a similar joke on at least one other occasion, but that’s the one that came to mind.

        2. Mark

          On Big Bang Theory it’s about 10% of Raj’s lines.

    2. milu

      confused because it sounds like an extremely dumbing of age sentence to me. i would even bet (very little) money it’s been used before at some point?

  21. David DeLaney

    when all you have is a pair of suicidal Pop-Tarts, everything looks like a toaster

    1. Agemegos

      Considered as a toaster, Jason is extra-wide, for crumpets.

  22. Agemegos

    I wonder what is the highest office that anyone in the USA has achieved after holding up a liquor store.

    1. Thag Simmons

      I think it depends on if you get caught or not

      Also whether or not you count raiding a liquor store for supplies during a military campaign

      1. Daibhid C

        The highest office anyone in the USA has achieved after holding up a liquor store and not getting caught is President.

        Go ahead, prove me wrong.

        1. David DeLaney

          can I do it by noting there are higher offices (unelected of course) that you also don’t know about

        2. Thag Simmons

          I mean I do not have an exhaustive familiarity with Ulysses S Grant’s military career, and frankly it would not surprise me

    2. AlexaSpuds

      A governor or a senator from a red state, getting a DUI is basically a requirement to get any political office in Florida.

  23. AGV

    Yeah, you’ll actually do something if you talk to Dorothy directly

    1. Mark

      Dorothy: (thinks) “OMG I’m so far gone I’m getting advice from Ruth and Jennifer! I need (actual) help!”

  24. Max

    Everybody would hold up a liquor store badly. Those things are heavy.

  25. Holly

    Soooo there’ll be a Patreon strip of Dorothy holding up a liquor store, badly soon?

  26. AlexaSpuds

    I’ve been getting a lot of vibes from the last couple strips and other strips since 2020 that Ruth regrets the breakup, and I’m thinking that maybe Billie is slightly thinking about it too, but neither of them wants to admit it (at least got now) ???

    Also I wonder who Dorothy would wanna sleep with out of those two even if it doesn’t end up happening, they’re both insane but got different appeals…

    1. Mark

      IIRC Ruth never wanted to break up with Billie; she did it because she’s convinced it was the best thing for someone she loves. She’s pretty much said that, and I believe her. I think she’d go back to Jennifer without hesitation, but for the expectation of destroying her.

      I never know what Jennifer is thinking.

      1. thumb

        My read is that Jennifer knows that’s why she broke up with her, and thinks it’s a shitty thing to do to someone you care about, and also she’s tired of having to do all the labour to make it work. She’s not wrong. She’s fucking up her current relationship, but she wasn’t wrong about her and Ruth.

  27. DarkoNeko

    yeah, i can see 2 people on this page that need a good hate-fucking.

  28. Mark

    Or makes herself a superhero costume.

  29. Daibhid C

    “I think your plan is bad and flawed.”

    “Ah, but wait until you hear the fullplan! It’s even worse!”

  30. Needfuldoer

    I don’t think Dorothy could hold up a liquor store. Those things are heavy!

  31. Marrow

    One of the funniest strips in a while 😀

  32. thumb

    where we realise that Ruth really has been dealt a crap hand when it comes to dorms

  33. motorfirebox

    We saw you from across the room and we hate your vibe

  34. Yeet

    well both of them have (separately) indicated that Dorothy was turning them on or “checking a lot of my boxes” so…

    1. milu

      wait. they have?

      1. Yeet

        Ruth, when Dorothy showed up at her door for alcohol said she that was “ticking a lot of her boxes” (although she was 90% being sarcastic)
        Jennifer, when Dorothy started yelling at her for taking over wrt helping Joyce said she was “kinda turned on” and may not have been joking

        1. milu

          wow indeed! haha thanks

  35. Hof1991

    It’s not like Dorothy hasn’t noticed that’s she’s not in a relationship. Danny is happy with Sal. Walky is involved with Lucy. Joyce is busy with Joe.

    Dorothy reads enough international relations books to know that disconnected defines danger. (A quote from The Pentagon’s New Map, a bestseller in the IR community) People and countries are more stable when in a web of relationships. A web that is pretty thin for Dorothy.

    1. David DeLaney

      so this strip is actually Spy vs. Spy then?

      1. Sajuuk-Khar

        The horny version thereof

    2. TulipKitten

      Especially since she tried to start things back up with Walky when he was in a relationship with Lucy, and she knew he was. (I dunno. Are they still together? It was really unclear.)

  36. milu

    everyone, Bogeywoman made an incredible fanart and posted it as a response to someone way in the dead midle of the page, like a chump. (or a ninja.)

    ctrl-f her now

  37. Bicycle Bill

    Why does everyone in this comic (with the possible exception of Joyce) think that a good fuck is the answer to everything?

    1. GholaHalleck

      Hormone driven 20 year olds with only one brain cell between them.

    2. milu

      fanservice

      (…which just kicks the question down the road)

  38. Pergola

    Book 14: “I’m not -that- dedicated of an R.A.”

  39. Steamweed

    Geeze, ladies, have some faith that Dorothy can fuck up in her own ways, and not have to retread what others have done.

    1. Coatl

      The poor blonde has a lot of problems and this duo wants to fill more debris.

  40. Cloud

    Remember to do your robbing before the jack daniels, not after.

  41. Coco

    I didn’t get the joke but I’ll chalk it up to the fact that English is not my first language AND I’m asexual.

    1. milu

      Two people (known to be attracted to your gender) walking up to you, together, and saying that they were looking at you and they think “you could use a good fucking” will likely sound like a blunt invitation to a threesome.

    2. milu

      and, “they would have to move Dorothy” because of the breach of rules of an RA sleeping with a student they are responsible for. also, that’s literally what happened with Jennifer

  42. WizardPantaloon

    I like this. When they’re focused on helping someone, Ruth and Billie are kind of great together. They still snark at each other but there’s much less venom and bitterness here.

  43. Felian

    Head Cheerleader, Problem-Solver!
    I am amazed that this strategy would actually work. Either the way Billie describes it, ooor Ruth gets fired for repeated offense of fucking her protegees, but, well, then Dorothy would indeed no longer be her responsibility?…. oh no

  44. Megan Rivera

    Ruth is SO expressive LMFAO!!

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