103

Pairs
Posted on April 19, 2019 by David M Willis

103 thoughts on “Pairs”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    you and what body hair

    also your nonshitty needs work

    oh there you go, WORK pairs with nonshittiness

    Walky: “nooooooo my nemesis”

    1. jeffepp

      Speaking of nemesis’s’s’s

      Curse my typos! You win again.

      1. butts

        nemeses

        1. Needfuldoer

          Nemesiseses.

        2. Kaidah

          I’m Mr. Nemesiseses, look at me!

        3. Yet_One_More_Idiot

          Wasn’t he an Egyptian Pharoah?

          Curses, foiled by that word again. 😛

        4. Opale

          It’s actually spelt Pharrell Williams but he’s from California, not Egypt!

        5. Koms

          I think it was Nefertitititi

    2. Deathjavu

      But what about, deflecting the possibility of work, with a well timed awkward joke? Eh?

    3. Charlie Spencer

      Nah, I know plenty of hard working people who are shitty.

  2. AnvilPro

    I love this scene so much. It’s fucking painful but real, and I can agree with both of them

    1. DailyBrad

      Pretty much. Both have a lot of shit they’d like to undo or do better on, but it’s been like, a few days or something, so there’s no abracadabra, not mad anymore you lied to me and were boozing it up with the person I asked you to look out for, or the stuff Walky holds himself responsible for, either.

    2. Cerberus

      Yeah, it’s a really tragically beautiful scene.

    3. BBCC

      Agreed. It’s a hard talk but a necessary one

  3. butts

    mirror universe walky’s probably acing calc at least

    1. GoblinScribe

      “I wonder what happened in those other timelines.”

    2. BBCC

      And nothing else.

    3. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      And he only eats organic vegan health food.

    4. Batz

      Mirror Universe Walky already has that goatee!

      1. Dean

        But it’s still Walky, so the goatee is maybe three chin pubes.

  4. jeffepp

    Mirror Universe Walky

    1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      What is mirror universe Sal like?

      1. Batz

        Regular Universe Joyce.

        1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          But Catholic?

      2. butts

        she also has a goatee

      3. Marsh Maryrose

        Carol.

        And now you have learned that there are some questions you don’t really want to know the answer to.

  5. Yumi

    Oh, dude, get a face tattoo. No one has ever regretted a face tattoo.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Get a face tattoo of a goatee. If you get tired of it, you can just grow a real goatee to cover it up.

      Wait…

      1. Reltzik

        Better alternative, get a face tattoo of a clean-shaven face.

      2. paleotectonics

        Read that (on a phone screen) as ‘Get a face tattoo of a goatse.)

        I was put off.

        1. Yumi

          >”No one has ever regretted a face tattoo.”

    2. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      Now thinking of those hamburger wrappers in Japan so women can eat them without looking like they are actually eating.

      https://www.buzzfeed.com/regajha/a-japanese-burger-chain-made-face-masks-so-women-can-eat-bur

      1. BBCC

        Huh. Interesting!

  6. Cattleprod

    Drawing one on probably wouldn’t be out of character.

  7. Stephen Bierce

    But if Walky stops being awful, he can’t go to Garbage Roof anymore. Think it through.

  8. Kyrik Michalowski

    Alt texts confirms: Willis will not draw Walky with a goatee. We have nothing to worry about, repeat nothing to worry about.

    1. Needfuldoer

      He drew him with 5-o’clock shadow once, in a “what if Walky was the rebellious troublemaker and Sal was the lazy goofball” character model. I’d bet he just faked it with cinnamon or something.

      It’s on Tumblr somewhere.

      1. Needfuldoer

        Found it!

        1. Marsh Maryrose

          That darned HTML.

        2. BBCC

          Sal is an adorable dork in that picture <3

          Willis' words, not mine. 😛

  9. BigDogLittleCat

    Spot on portrayal of depression.
    You go Ruth!

    1. desolation0

      People seem to have different styles of being depressed though this does certainly fit in the category.

      1. Ntrovert60

        Very true. Depression isn’t monolithic, though there are some common elements that are often shared. In my own situation, I went through 2.5 years of major depression until I got on the right medicine for me and was able to start seeing that there were things I could change and adjust for – and to have enough hope that I could do it.

  10. Cholma

    A goatee?! No, no. DoA could not handle “Mirror Universe Walky”.

  11. Jamie

    Clearly Walky just needs his own set of meds.

  12. Kravis

    A goatee, Walky?! A goatee?! Seriously?

    Do you WANT to become a villain?
    Cause THAT’S how you become a villain!

    C’mon, dude!
    Get your act together, man!

    1. King Daniel

      I mean, how else will we distinguish him from Reginald, Duke of Thingley?

      1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        You can’t which is why there will be that plot where he must pose as Reg because of [complicated plot reason].

      2. Marsh Maryrose

        Thingley will be wearing a bow tie, which, as we all know, is actually part of the anatomy of Brits.

        1. Clif

          You know, I suspected that. It’s good to see it confirmed.

  13. BBCC

    I mean, you can try Walky, but it’s not gonna happen. You could try shaving your hair really short – it gets all curly that short. It’d be noticeable, that’s for sure.

    And yeah, that’s about the impression I’ve gotten from Ruth.

  14. Dana

    Walky with a goatee would look like me in high school at best. Like an idiot.

  15. Yumi

    It occurred to me last night that I’ll be meeting Willis in less than a month (presumably, unless something goes wrong). I’ll also get to go to a conveyor belt sushi place around the same time. Both pretty exciting things.

    1. DailyBrad

      Is Willis also going to be on a conveyor belt? better meet and greet quick, if so.

      1. Yumi

        >petition to move the entire festival onto a conveyor belt

    2. Pl0x

      TCAF, exciting!! I wish I could go!

    3. BBCC

      I’m hoping to go too! I’m excited.

  16. Marsh Maryrose

    And you may tell yourself,
    This is not my beautiful goatee,
    And you may tell yourself
    This is not my beautiful jacket

    (Also, you may ask yourself, “Am I right? Am I wrong?”)

    1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      It doesn’t matter if you have the beard on the outside, as long as you got the beard on the inside.

  17. brionl

    Once again, I find myself going to old reliable Maynard G. Krebs:

    https://www.pinterest.com/pin/82612974384766372/

    1. Geneseepaws

      Best part of that show!

  18. Bagge

    Just keep trying being non-shitty and keep being there for Sal and Billie and you’ll be fine, Doofus.

  19. clif

    You rang?

    1. Clif

      Hm. That was supposed to be a reply to brionI.

  20. Shane Wegner

    I don’t get what “crime” Walkie thinks he can even lord over Ruth. That her goodness didn’t transcend Billie to another plane of enlightenment? Billie is being kind of crappy and irresponsible on her own.

    1. bhtooefr

      Enabling her alcoholism and other self-destructive behaviors (“sexy lesbian suicide pact” and all), while also harassing her physically and sexually, all while being responsible for her safety and being in a position of power over her.

      That’s what Walky has against Ruth, and when framed like that, it’s hard to blame him.

  21. RacingTurtle

    Walky, are you feeling left behind? Aw. That’s sad.
    I’d forgotten that this was only partly about Walky being disappointed in Ruth. It’s also about Walky being disappointed in Walky.

    I have now written “Walky” too many times help it’s stopped being a word or a name or a Walky Walky Walkywalkwalk

    1. RacingTurtle

      Oh, wow, I just remembered that Walky has no way of knowing that Ruth and Billie’s romantic relationship began with Ruth trying to quit alcohol for Billie. This all looks even worse to him than it does to us.

      1. thejeff

        Yeah, that relationship has to look seriously awful to most of those in-world. I mean, we’ve got other reasons to think it’s awful, but we also know the good bits.
        For the rest of the floor, it look straight up abusive. Started with bullying and continued with their staged fights up until they got caught. On top of the reveals of alcoholism and suicide pacts and the power dynamic.

        1. BBCC

          If we’re honest, it looks very very unhealthy in a lot of ways out of world too. It’s been improving but it’s not got the greatest foundation in the world.

  22. Tacos

    The alt-text took the words right out of my mouth.

  23. 1 2 2 50 in Roman numerals

    Walky would look horrible with a gaotee but having one would be perfectly in character for him

  24. Emperor Norton II

    OK, now I’m getting confused.

    Walky talks about being non-shitty, AKA not being evil.

    Then he talks about getting the most famous staple of an Evil Twin.

    And I know that Walky’s genre savvy, so he should realise what is wrong with this picture.

  25. BenRG

    No, Walky, suddenly growing facial hair would mark you out as being from the Mirror Universe. You’d have every geek in the university watching you suspiciously!

    FWIW, I’m not sure if he’s just oblivious to Ruth’s words (“It’s not about me so it doesn’t matter”), whether his own dilemma just is more pressing to him or if he simply doesn’t know what to say.

  26. Darkoneko

    No, no, you’re nerdy enough to know goatee are for the evil version of yourself. [/spock]

  27. Keulen

    The alt-text is right, Walky definitely could not grow a goatee. Or at least, if he tries it’ll take a really long time.
    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-7/01-glower-vacuum/caughtcha/

    1. Bagge

      A MAN HAIR!!!

  28. Ethics Gradient

    Yeah, growing a goatee will solve all the world’s problems.

    1. BenRG

      Well, that guy who helped Tony Stark in Iron Man 3 certainly seemed to think that way!

  29. Amelie

    This may be the funniest use of the word “no” I’ve seen since the pages of Preacher if anyone remembers that.

  30. Someguywithakatana

    So I want to be very clear about something. There is a difference between saying a fanbase is bad and being aware of negative trends in that fanbase.

    And I don’t think that the DoA fanbase is bad. But if I think there is any negative trait that is prevalent within it, it is this tendency to look for failures within the characters, to the point of misrepresenting them, out of a desire to assume a moral high ground and judge them as negatively as possible out of a desire for… I dunno… Superiority over a bunch of stupid college kids who don’t understand life…? I really don’t know.

    And on the one hand, I feel like I am becoming guilty of this trend by saying this, and I’m extremely conscious of that right now

    But as much as I love Walky, I find something very anger triggering about him in these strips. Like here are two people with problems. One of them is working hard to overcome them and doing many very uncomfortable things to challenge themselves. The other has gotten as far as acknowledging that they have problems and are doing their best to avoid actively confronting that.

    The latter is taking the piss out of the former, if not outright undermining them.

    I dunno. I usually relate to walky a lot. This interaction with Ruth is really making me wanna throttle him. He’s a dumb kid who doesn’t understand her circumstance. But I still kinda wanna throttle him.

    1. thejeff

      OTOH, Ruth’s problems spill over onto other people more than Walky’s do. Walky can be awkward and self-centered and he’s having trouble academically. That’s really about it.
      Ruth’s bullied her charges, including his near-sister and apparently dragged her into a suicide pact. That’s orders of magnitude worse than anything Walky’s done. Ruth’s working on it more than he is, but she had to get to the point of hospitalization to start that.

      And Walky’s shown signs as well – he’s working on reconnecting with his sister, for example.

    2. wwwhhattt

      The fanbase thing probably comes down to: 1) A very active comments section; and 2) Only seeing a couple of seconds of these peoples lives at a time. So with so many people there’s always at least one person who naturally sees whatever character’s appearing in the worst possible light, and in such a short (in comic) time span that it can feel like unreasonable nit-picking.

      Sometimes it does start to get really uncomfortable, but I don’t get the feeling there’s many people going out of their way to judge all the characters Mary style.

      1. BBCC

        Plus, as always, morality is subjective.

    3. DailyBrad

      He doesn’t understand her circumstances, sure, but he’s had, like, literally no positive interactions with her prior to this. Not one.

      She began as a hostile force, became a mellower at the surface authority figure who lied through her teeth to him when he went to her with his concerns about Billie’s safety, and then he found out she was in a super codependent and unethical relationship with her the whole time.

      Like, why would he like her? I’d be okay with them having a friendship or something at some point, but he has had nothing but negative experiences with this person.

    4. Clif

      SomeguyintheSCAwithakatona – We don’t think you’re bad either.

  31. Kaz

    CAN he grow a goatee? Like is he even capable of facial hair? I don’t think I’ve ever seen him with anything other than baby-smooth face skin.

    1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      I couldn’t raise more than very sparse chin fuzz until well into my 20s.

  32. DEAD MEME

    When I post this, I will have the sixty-ninth comment.

    Nice.

    1. Clif

      How do you count that? From the top or by time of post? We have to check if you were ninjaed because SCIENCE.

  33. Vulcanodon

    Panels three and four: all the feels.

  34. Vulcanodon

    Walky, I have a goatee. The only thing it does for me is make it look like I have a chin.

    1. Liquid Len

      Don’t knock it. As I’ve gotten older and gravity is doing its’ thing, having something to define a chin is a good thing! XD

  35. Valerie Holt

    Don’t forget Danny’s hat and ukelele! (Hat AND ukelele. That’s two whole things. That’s way too much character development at once.)

  36. Pl0x

    LOL, Walky is such a weird person for Ruth to talk feelings with.

  37. StealthMarmot

    I recently began taking Adderall for my ADD, and I sort of feel what she is saying. It doesn’t change all you were, or have been before, it doesn’t even really change who you are, it just makes something you had a real hard time with a little easier. Even then, it still takes effort.

    It’s rough turning around and taking stock of where you are, worse the longer you went without. I am 35, and I should have been taking this 10-15 years ago.

    But I am making it so far and hopefully it will help me make it a little better over time.

    1. Rabid Rabbit

      Preach.

  38. C.T Phipps

    Ruth, Billie gets Walky in the divorce. Sorry. I don’t think you even get visitation rights.

  39. Eldritch Gentleman

    Walky, a goatee is a quick way to becoming a low-quality D-List villain, don’t walk that path. Also I don’t think Sal would be able to handle Danny getting his hat and Walky getting a goatee in one month.

  40. C.T Phipps

    I feel like Walky is trying uncomfortably to tell Ruth she’s not his friend and doesn’t do hugs/touchy feely stuff even if she was.

  41. Dutch

    Gosh fecking durnit Willis stop making Ruth feel relatable to my own personal experiences it feels like personal jab

    (Or do.)

  42. Sock_V

    Don’t do it, Walky!

    That’s how you become the evil twin!

    1. BBCC

      Do it, Walky!

      Break the stereotype!

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