141

Suiting
Posted on April 20, 2020 by David M Willis

141 thoughts on “Suiting”

  1. King Daniel

    This isn’t going to go well

    1. Ana Chronistic

      Ruth needs to give it a rest, Amber has exhausted all the possibilities

      1. Screwball

        Is this going to be another tired chain of puns? I woke up to the fact that happens around here a lot long time ago…

        1. Lys

          Well, it used to happen a lot around here. If you go back the archives to find the last time it did, you’ll get a yawning chasm without any.

          But it’s best not to go check, after all. Let sleeping dogs lie.

        2. He Who Abides

          No time to sleep on this, people! It’s alarming that this thread’s been lying down for so long!

    2. Miles

      Still hoping that they called the cops or that Becky is bringing the cops or fbi along when she comes. Since she’s a campaign manager, toenail and mobster are technically terrorists now.

  2. Animedingo

    Does Ruth know she’s A-girl?

    1. Nono

      Yes.

      1. Joe Helfrich

        So Ruth is about to suit up as Amazigirl, then?

    2. Kinoko

      Yes, she found out when she broke up Amber and Sal’s fight.

  3. Juanoku

    Ah ya, a pause for dramatic

    1. StClair

      … effect.

    2. DrWattson

      I see you shiver with antici

      1. Koms

        …pation

        1. clif

          It’s just a jump to the

        2. ktbear

          left?

        3. Rose by Any Other Name

          This thread is Legen……

        4. Screwball

          …Wait for it….

        5. Delicious Taffy

          Balls of steel.

        6. He Who Abides

          . . . dary.

        7. MIB4u

          C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!

  4. Regalli

    Amber.

    Amber.

    Honey.

    NO.

    1. Regalli

      But hey! If anyone understands ‘my abusive piece of shit parent/guardian is fucking shit up and too influential for me to feel safe deferring to authorities because he knows how to bribe and wear a person suit long enough they look the other way’, it is Ruth!

      1. RacingTurtle

        Heck yeah. That knowledge is difficult to put to use, but I really hope Ruth can help in some way.

      2. Miri

        I hope Amber explains what’s going on and Ruth can help. I don’t know if I see that taking the form of angry vigilante girls beating the daylights out of evil dads, or contacting authorities, or what, or if I see Billie being involved or not, but Ruth is genuinely concerned, in a relatively good mental place (compared to Amber, and where Ruth could be), and tough.

        Ruth, Amber, Billie and Sal bringing on the smackdown so the evil dad’s go to jail after being beaten up by a posse of “little girls with problems with authority figures” (as they would see it) would be pretty satisfying. Bonus points if Billie pukes in the Ballpeen’s eyes.

        1. Meagan

          That would truly he a wonderful dream team. Carla and Malaya could get it on it too. It doesn’t seem too unrealistic to imagine things are headed roughly that direction, since this is a finale of sorts, when all characters are often brought into one plot.

        2. SuperFroakie82

          With that being the case, I wonder how Danny and Joe are gonna get roped into all this, since I think Amber/Amazi-girl is basically out of the fighting at this point, and I don’t see why anyone else here would bother contacting them.

        3. Needfuldoer

          Carla gets the ranged attacks in: pies thrown by trebuchet and white cartoon gloves on extending mechanical arms.

        4. Regalli

          I’m telling you: Super teamup. Throw in Carla as their tech genius. Who got proof of their crimes recorded or something. All in on the superhero action. We will deal with the inevitable trauma later, and I will feel incredibly guilty for taking delight and satisfaction in it in the moment (see also: Amber decking Blaine in her dorm room; the car chase and Amber subsequently recounting her dissociation and fear and Sal’s valid points about the danger,) but will it be freaking sweet in that moment? Fuck yeah, it will!

        5. Deanatay

          The Just Us League!

          Schtick-shift!
          The Malady!
          and The Femur Ripper!

          Protecting the student body from parental authority through sweet pranks, heavy sarcasm, and the occasional threat of violence!

  5. AntJ

    throwback to when Ruth couldn’t fight Blaine because she was detoxing

    1. jeffepp

      Eh, more she suplexed his butt, but he recovered quicker. Then, he ran away, like the coward he is. His first concusion of the comic, but not his last.

      1. AntJ

        She wouldn’t have stopped with the suplex if she wasn’t in withdrawal

  6. Mra

    Somebody buy that girl a coffee before the adrenaline from her fight completely wears off.

    1. mrnoidea

      Make it a double espresso.

    2. Chaucer59

      With a side of coke.

      1. Chris Phoenix

        And everybody knows that it’s now or never
        Everybody knows that it’s me or you
        And everybody knows that you live forever
        Ah when you’ve done a line or two

        – Leonard Cohen, “Everybody Knows”
        (A song about a different plague, but lots of resonance today)

    3. inqntrol

      Only one? In this situation a whole litre would be needed.

      1. Gab

        Two liters tend to be cheaper than liters by the ounce.

  7. poofdepoof

    Did Amber actually forget to say the word effect or is that a typo?

    1. Nono

      It’s the joke.

    2. Radiance

      If you ask her, she’d say that was definitely an error on the cartoonist’s

      1. Savail

        I see what you

        1. JetstreamGW

          God dammit, Candlej…

    3. JetstreamGW

      Neither. She fell asleep in the middle of the sentence again. That’s the joke.

    4. Michelle J. Caboose

      Sometimes, when you’re barely functional, it can mess with your head and make it hard to grammar. (been there more than a few times, when I worked for Walmart and had to pull all kinds of extra hours)

  8. Circeus

    TEAMUP TEAMUP (either that or sidekick XD)

    1. Scoops!

      Obviously, Ruth has to dress as Amazigirl.

      1. Leorale

        I would kinda love this.

    2. Stephen Bierce

      POSSE.

  9. Stephen Bierce

    –we’re off to Neverneverland!

  10. Ryan the Cool

    Now, I have a team to liberat- zzzzzzzzzzzz

  11. Callid13

    It seems sleeping while standing is just another of Amazi-, er, Amber’s superpowers. Sadly, she traded in her ability to instantly transport kidnapped people to safety, but still…

    1. Chris Phoenix

      I once fell asleep while standing.

      I was about to brush my teeth. Then I woke up. I was still standing.

      I had two impressions/memories. One was of stumbling around trying to keep my balance. The other was of trying to put something into my mouth that wouldn’t fit.

      Then I discovered that I was holding my hairbrush… with toothpaste on it.

  12. Antonio Tyler

    “Amazi-Girls are nocturnal.”

    “Amazi-Girls may be, but even for college students, three o’clock is pushing it. The price of leading a double life, I fear.”

    1. SuperZero

      People go to bed before 3 am?

      1. Opus the Poet

        Only to have sex in the bed.

      2. Antonio Tyler

        Some of us are pushing 40, so yeah we go to bed before 3am.

        In fact, I’m often waking up at 3am.

    2. thejeff

      I do wonder how long Amber’s been losing sleep. One all-nighter might not be good for you, but it shouldn’t be this bad. Especially for college kids.

      1. deathjavu

        Amazi-girl had been piloting the body after Amber went to sleep, so she has probably missed a LOT of sleep.

  13. Marsh Maryrose

    Ruth asks, “Where is everybody?” and Amber replies, “I’m suiting up.”

    Literally a non-sequitur, but we the readers know what Amber means and why she’s suiting up. But what is Ruth going to make of it?

    1. Rotunda

      Ruth is aware that Amber is Amazi-Girl: Dorothy told her when Amber and Sal were fighting.

      1. Ray Radlein

        Yes, but what is she to make of that response to that question? Will she make the implied connection that all the missing people are why she is suiting up, or not?

  14. BBCC

    Oh Amber, you need help.

    Ruth, you might be the help – or at least some of it.

    Best birthday strip ever! I’ve been waiting on Ruth to get involved. <3

    1. Miri

      Happy birthday? 🙂

      1. BBCC

        Thank you muchly!

        1. BBCC

          “You’re posting comments too quickly. Slow down.”

          YOU’RE NOT MY ROBOT SUPERVISOR.

    2. Regalli

      Happy birthday!

      (Super teamup! Super teamup! Super teamup with Sal! Super teamup I’m holding out hope for Carla as a bringer of Chaos and much-needed comic relief as she pies the rent-a-goons so Sal can deck them while they have pies in the face! Super teamup!)

      1. BBCC

        I want both of them involved too. This is going to be interesting and I’m here for it!

        And thank you!

    3. Koms

      Happy Birthday!!

      1. BBCC

        Thank you!!

    4. Ron again

      I’m not sure if I should check previous posts from this date, but chances are this one really is pretty good.

      Happy birthday!

      1. BBCC

        Every birthday strip is the best one. 😛

        Thank you!

    5. Needfuldoer

      Happy birthday!

      1. BBCC

        Thank you!

  15. Pablo360

    timing is

    1. Geneseepaws

      Waiting fullness is?

  16. Sporky

    “This is something I need to do myself” is something that happens in fiction, Amber. I know you’re all about that with your superhero thing, but in real life when you’re trying to rescue your friends from a kidnapping you take all the help you can get.

    1. Meagan

      Amber: I am in fiction.

      1. Sporky

        But she’s in kinda-sorta-realistic fiction! I know that the Amazi-Girl subplots tend to play by superhero rules a little, but not THAT much!

    2. C.T Phipps

      Amber’s plan is to take down security and not call cops. Because ONE MAN WITH A GUN is better than authority!

      Wait…no, that’s Robin.

  17. mrnoidea

    Oh, I’ve had moments like that in college after doing an all-nighter to finish engineering homework. One time I was in class after such a night and I thought, “As long as I keep my pencil moving on this paper, I won’t fall asleep.”

    But then a micronap occurred and my writing got small and messy before my pencil stopped involuntarily.

    1. Leorale

      I feel that. Once in college I briefly feel asleep on stilts. (I didn’t fall, it was just a “woah, it is time to get down now.”)

      1. Leorale

        Briefly fell asleep, that is.
        I was a Religions major, so I also remember thinking, “oh man I bet if I read the writings of Ezekiel right now I would totally understand it. Not Revelations, though. I need to be even more out of my skull to truly get Revelations.”
        I got back to my bed and fell asleep before I could read either one. I’m sure it was for the best.

        1. dinajoyce

          When I was in my “Theorizing Religions” class I determined the only way to understand the content to wait until I was sleep deprived. Foucault, Durkheim, Said, all those guys. Definitely made more sense after like 3am.

    2. Regalli

      Fell asleep at my laptop the night before a creative writing assignment was due. Woke up hours later to like twenty pages of blank because I’d fallen asleep at the enter key. (Though in hindsight, that probably has something to do with the undiagnosed thyroid issues and severe Vitamin D deficiency that were going on that semester, too. Don’t let your Vitamin D levels hit the single digits, folks.)

  18. woobie

    I had a very brief nap once. I was driving straight from school on a Friday afternoon to see my sweetie 4 hours away.
    Being wakened by your chin hitting your chest will wake you UP! For a while.

    1. Johnny Austin

      I once drove across the longest bridge in the southern hemisphere asleep. (Houghton highway)
      I woke up after having taken the inland track on the peninsula and hitting the curb.
      I woke up, clipped a no standing sign, saw a telegraph pole.
      Pulled the handbrake/slammed the foot brake/reefed the steering wheel hard left and the car slid sideways an destroyed a fence.

      Weeks later a friend fixed up the wheel that had been torn off to make a bush basher and when we took it out for a run it started a bushfire that burned down 10 hectares…

      I don’t drive anymore.
      They took my license off me for not paying fines for marijuana possession (I don’t want to encourage them)
      I figure keeping me off the roads is the greater public good.
      If I paid my fines I’d be allowed to drive again..

    2. BarerMender

      I was driving on whatever interstate runs through the Lehigh Valley on a lonely afternoon, and I woke up. I had driven some miles unconscious. My eyes were open and part of my brain handled the steering, but my conscious part was checked out.

    3. thejeff

      It’s when the adrenaline rush from waking from those micro naps while driving doesn’t keep you going for more than a few minutes that it’s time to pull over.

      1. woobie

        lol truth

  19. Cholma

    Batman (and Amazi-Girl/Amber) trained to be the best at everything; including standing-up Power Naps.

  20. Joe Moose

    Dumbing of Age Book 10: A Pause for Dramatic

    1. clif

      Dumbing of Age Book

      1. King Daniel

        Dumbi

        1. Keulen

          D

        2. Johnny Austin

          l

  21. Bagge

    Leave the dramatic to amazi-girl, amber. She is better at it.

  22. Rikunda

    If Batman didn’t have a suit or the ability to get a suit because of time… Are you saying he would just wait for a suit to do his job? Amazigirl doesn’t need a suit! She needs like… 12 hours of sleep but doesn’t need a suit!

    1. ElectricBlue

      Not so much the suit itself, but she keeps useful tools with it/in the suit’s belt and pockets (like a grappling hook, caltrops, probably plenty of other stuff but that’s all I remember).
      I agree she needs 12 hours of sleep though, and I hope she accepts help from Ruth, or somebody

      1. Opus the Poet

        She also keeps a 20 pack of her own brand condoms in her belt. And a Transformer.

  23. NinjaNick

    Either call for an Amber alert or alert Amber.

  24. Tirachokko

    Oh same, Amber, same. I used to do this a lot in high school, because my social life was online and secret. Fell asleep in a bunch of less than optimal situations to be sleeping in, including, more than once, the optometrist’s chair when he was looking in my eye with the microscope. Good times. Not sure why he still keeps using the same sleepy jazz station for his office music, everyone I’ve met there gets sleepy hearing it, including him.

  25. abysswatcher1993

    Fucking karma. If Amber didn’t hate herself that much she would have slept what is necessary for the human body.

    1. thejeff

      Or she would have gone to sleep and Amazi-Girl would have taken the body out for some crime-fighting. Probably the reason that she’s this exhausted after less than one night.

  26. PiotrW

    I can sympathize with Amber here… falling asleep in the middle of conversation is something that did happen to me once or twice.

    1. Ray Radlein

      When I had mono in college, I once fell asleep in the middle of an argument with my girlfriend.

      I did not win the argument

  27. OtterBoy1

    I feel that

  28. Anthony Paoli

    And so begins the rise of AG’s partner, Ruthless Red.
    In a twist on super hero norms, she doesn’t wear a mask or hide her identity, because WHO is foolish enough to mess with Ruth??

    1. SuperZero

      Blaine did, remember? She beat him up.

      1. Anthony Paoli

        And he was made an example of, it’s the perfect foundation

  29. PiotrW

    My theory is that this storyline is the DOA’s adaptation of Knightfall: AmaziFall.

    First, the exhausted and out-plotted AG will fall from grace and it will have to be her replacement, the rage-fuelled AmaziJoyce, that takes down Ross and Blaine.

    Then, AmaziJoyce will continue her fight against crime, growing more and more ragey…

    In the final act, AmaziGirl and AmaziJoyce will face each other!

  30. Keulen

    I believe this is called a microsleep. I’ve had those before, usually when I’m doing some mind-numbingly dull task at work. I’m pretty sure when I get them it’s because I don’t get enough sleep most nights.

  31. Mark

    Please let Becky call the police, at least have one character do the obvious thing

    1. thumb

      They did give two separate believable reasons why calling the police might be a bad idea though.

      1. Mark

        Without wanting to start a flame war or something but Sarah’s reasoning is ridiculous but the only thing worse would be relying on Amber.

        If anyone here is ever kidnapped, and you have opportunity, please call the police.

        1. thejeff

          The “We’ll kill the rest of the hostages if you call the police (and we have people inside the police force so we’ll know)” isn’t a bad argument though.

          And of course if you happen to live in a comic book universe and know a superhero is involved, that also changes the calculation.

        2. Sam

          Sarah’s reasoning might be ridiculous to you, but plenty of people have disagreed and AG has a more solid reason to not do so in the fact that she knows some of the police work for or with Blaine and doesn’t know which ones. True to point of Blaine’s intellect, they might know fuck all of this plan and be pissed off about it if they do learn about it, but they also might let Blaine know even if other cops get the call if they do know of it, which would allow him to kill all the hostages and get the fuck out.

          Kidnappings are tricky and the stance in the USA and UK’s policies of it are absolutely not what you want to follow if you want to guarantee that no one dies as typically a hostage or rescuer will die in the process due to refusal to negotiate at all. While in Spain that focuses on recovering people at all costs, they have a 99% success rate.

          I think in most circumstances police are best still but there are fair reasons for people to be iffy about it here when it could just result in Mike and everyone that is a hostage being killed, with Blaine then getting away.

        3. C.T Phipps

          Sarah’s argument is that some police might shoot her and Walky because they’re black despite being tied up. Which is a valid and terrible reality many African Americans struggle with every day. It is contrasted with the fact that they WILL be killed along with everyone else by actual mobsters.

          Unless you believe ALL police in every state are actual Nazis existing to murder teenagers for no reasons, I find this is terrible logic.

        4. thumb

          Do they believe they’re gonna get killed? Or do they believe that since masks are apparently incredibly effective, they’d be unable to identify anyone except Ross (who’s been set up to be the fall guy), and are therefore more likely to survive this if they go along with it? And attempt to rescue a living Becky at a later time, which has also been Sarah’s argument, I believe.

          Now like you, I don’t think Blaine is planning to let them off so easy. But based on the information they have, acquiescing gives them better odds than the police coming in guns blazing.

  32. Matthew E Davis

    This is not the time for “actual gives a crap about people’s wellbeing RA” Ruth. This is the time for “femur-ripping fury Ruth.” Get on the ball, Lessick!

    1. Mark

      Hopefully Ruth’ll call the police and end this

  33. C.T Phipps

    This needs to end with Ruth becoming Amazi-Girl.

    1. PiotrW

      It might end that way. As I said, this storyline might well be DOA’s AmaziFall. Then, we’ll be getting AmaziQuest and Amazi-End…

  34. hof1991

    As someone with decades of experience with sleep apnea, this is a bad time for Amber to undertake anything. Especially if it involves thinking clearly. Temporarily back in sleep apnea land due to equipment problems and the difference is profound.

    1. C.T Phipps

      It might explain her terrible plan with Becky and insistence that calling the cops (while dangerous if they go half-cocked) is perhaps less of a plan than Batmaning on them.

  35. Rabisch

    Amber, no one believes that. You need help.

  36. Deanatay

    Amazi-Girl: Micro-sleeping for JUSTICE!!

    Yeah, micro-sleep is really bad for driving. Can’t imagine how well it would work for, say, leaping off rooftops.

    1. Needfuldoer

      Micro-sleep driving is scary as fuck once you realize it’s been happening the last 10 miles.

  37. ziggy78eog

    Better call Sal!

  38. Stanistani

    My voyage through microsleeping and exhaustion began with 70-hour workweeks in IT.

    I’d be troubleshooting an issue with co-workers, fall asleep in mid-sentence, they would patiently wait, and I’d wake up with the solution.

  39. Opus the Poet

    Back when I was working in Dallas and had a business in Nashville that needed infrequent but regular tending, I once fell asleep just outside Little Rock and woke up just outside Texarkana. That’s 143 miles straight down I30, which isn’t straight for most of the distance.

    1. Needfuldoer

      Amazi-Opus must have taken over navigation.

    2. KJ

      Driving through Arkansas defies reality, honestly

  40. mzgarland

    Slug her in the solar plexus, put her down long enough to get her out of the way, and then involve the actual heroes.

    (Sal and Carla.)

  41. C.T Phipps

    Now we’re going to get Ruth’s heroic sacrifice.

    Then she can go into a permanent coma alongside Mike.

  42. StClair

    “Coming here was the mistake of your life. See, the closer I am to someone, the stronger I get. I’ll be able to go into your brain even if you’re wide awake.”
    “My brain’s not a nice place to be.”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDtjRFrfj6Q

  43. Sombrero

    I’m Sleepi-Girl. I can sleep in space.

  44. nightshade

    I’m surprised sal isn’t already looking for walky since its been what 2 or 3 days at least? and we know mafia kid is gonna spill his guts to her … it’s just the when and how…..

    I also think dad is going to try to bail with becky and leave blaine on his own also thats why he wanted amazigirl to find becky to he could just take off with her becuase i dont think he entirely agrees with the methods being used

    Not that this was a smart plan anyhow “lets kidnap 6-10 college kids who all live in the same place and go to the same classes because its just a concidience there all gone for days at the exact same time? even joe could figure out somethings up eventually …….

    1. King Daniel

      It hasn’t been “2 or 3 days at least” – it’s been a couple of hours since the kidnapping, at most. The sun hasn’t even risen yet.

  45. PB

    Wow. THAT isn’t just a micronap. At this rate she’s equally likely to be taken down by Blaine or Freddy Krueger.

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