415

Friend
Posted on December 27, 2013 by David M Willis

415 thoughts on “Friend”

  1. Jen Aside

    OH SHIT

    1. Lucas

      Pretty much :(… No way this ends well

      1. Tunaro

        Maybe Amazi-Girl unloads on Blaine? Maybe with a baseball bat?

        1. Cholma

          Amazi-Girl/Sarah team-up! Yessshhhhhhh

        2. Mr K

          I thought Sarah hates Amazi Girl for distracting everyone and letting Ryan escape.

        3. Ourorboros

          Overused word.
          She was angry with Amazi-Girl.

          Ruth would be a better team up. Ruth knows about Blaine and has hockey gear.

        4. Lucas

          I’d be down with this!

    2. Jazzy The Man

      My words exactly

      1. AgentKeen

        Ditto.

    3. Guest Person Dude

      DUN DUN DUNNN

      1. Cragalanch

        http://dundundun.net/

    4. MISTERSPAGHETTIHANDS

      THIS REMINDS ME OF STAR WARS ! “Luke come to the dark side”

      1. pyrophobia

        Blaine *is* literally standing in the shadows. O_o

    5. FuryOfFirestorm

      SHIT ABOUT TO GET REAL UP IN THIS bongo!

    6. Psycho

      Danny, quickly! Take this shotgun and aim at that smug face! There is no time to explain! SLAY HIM NOW!!!

      1. Kell

        Yeah; that kind of thing might actually get rid of all the Danny hate!

    7. Treb Miester

      OH SHIT INDEED!

      1. Jen Aside

        Grav + comment = BEST

  2. JebJeb

    Aw shit.

    1. dimblecon

      AMBER ALERT

      1. Icalasari

        Shit, now he’s kidnapped a child!? WHEN WILL HIS EVIL END!?

      2. Variable

        I’m pretty sure all my medical training was solely for the purpose of getting this pun.

  3. Ataro

    This can only end well.

    1. Mr. Random

      Your program is missing an !.

      1. David

        Do you mean: This! can only end well.
        Or: This can only end well!
        ?

        1. shaboop doop caboop

          i think s/he means “this can only !(end well)”

        2. nick

          In Java, an exclamation point symbolizes “not”

        3. vlademir1

          You know that’s because it’s a standard Java inherited from C/C++ in using that same flavor of syntax.

        4. Boom

          NERDS!

    2. Tunaro

      If Blaine gets hit in the nads just once, I can walk away from this happy.

      1. Carlos

        All the pain, suffering, and injustice both in Amber’s life and the world in general would have been worth it. However I think it would be better if he got hit 40 times. Interest and all that

        1. BluJam

          holy crap

        2. Icalasari

          Nah

          It would be worth it if his balls got trapped underneath a one ton weight for, oh, say, an hour. Completely popped. Yeah, that would make it worth it. IF he survives that (I’ve heard some people die from the sheer pain), then he will be a shell of his former self

        3. Jordan

          Or maybe lock him in a room with Billie, Ruth, Sarah and Amber (in Amazigirl mode) and let them beat the crap out of him.

        4. Boom

          Strap him to a table and slowly dissolve him from the feet up with powerful acid…

  4. Mr. Random

    And… Spontaneous Barf.

    1. NightmareWarden

      Ahhh vomit; the most jarring of projectile weaponry.

      1. NaughtbutaHoax

        I thought that was Jarate.

        1. Calvin Coolage

          JARATE!? NNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

  5. Dorsilus

    son of a bongo

    1. Wack'd

      Hey, I’m sure Amber’s grandma was a perfectly fine person. No need to drag her into this.

      1. Tunaro

        And now I have an urge to see Blaine have his ass whupped by an old lady.

      2. Mr K

        Hey, there has to be some reason Blaine is so abusive. Maybe his parents were worse!

        1. Zap Rowsdower

          Probably just about the same, that’s how these things work, stereotypically.

        2. Dorsilus

          That thought honestly terrifies me.

        3. Yotomoe

          Grandma O’malley pinches Amber’s cheeks. WITH STAPLERS.

        4. Tunaro

          She’s the baddest old bird in the entire octogenarian correctional facility.

        5. Ourorboros

          It isn’t like all abusers trace their lineage to some ur-abuser. Nor do they all have some sad story.
          The worst bully in my high school was the worst bully in my middle school. Seen from the outside you’d think he was definitely from an abusive family.
          Nothing doing. His parents got divorced and he acted out for over a decade, even after high school. Nothing else wrong with his family.
          It isn’t like literally half of all marriages in the US end in divorce. Nope, apparently he was just an extreme ass waiting to happen.

        6. Mr K

          It would be interesting if Blaine had a bad childhood though. It’d show some parallels between him and his daughter.

        7. Doom Shepherd

          Or, Blaine had a ridiculously idyllic childhood, which left him totally unprepared for real life and a wife and daughter who were less than perfect, and he couldn’t deal with it, and like a frustrated two-year-old who can’t understand why the mean people aren’t doing what he wants, he hits.

          But probably not.

        8. The Sandman

          So Evil Mike, then?

          Stupid Mike?

          I mean, there’s definitely a connection here. Beyond Mike’s boot in Blaine’s groin, which has to have happened at least once in a world where Mike has been friends with Amber since childhood.

        9. Boom

          Mike doesn’t have friends, just people he tolerates.

        10. vlademir1

          Thing is, pretty much all humanity is just a thin line of civility from being abusive assholes. It’s why GIFT as a theory works, because pushing the right buttons or removing enough of the veneer of community that holds up our civil lives cracks through that civility.

        11. ProfessorZoot

          A widely held belief that flies in the face of overwhelming evidence. When the shit flies humans instinctively help each other in the vast majority of cases. It is when things are generally comfortable and easy that we turn into stomp monsters who do anything to “win” at the game of life.

        12. Ourorboros

          Plus GIFT theory is just an easy excuse for some, whining for others.
          The general history and course of civilization say otherwise.

        13. Boom

          Unless we’re in a group. Then we’ll stand around and do fuck all because we all think somebody else should be doing something.

    2. Tunaro

      Also smug, sexist, self-centered asshole.

  6. Ourorboros

    Danny will Dan this up pretty bad.

    1. Really?

      I think an epic Danning is about to commence. Sigh.

      1. Ourorboros

        I see it happening this way – Abusers can be pretty smooth talkers in the beginning.
        Blaine is going to say there was some misunderstanding. Since Danny thinks Amber running away is about him, he will see this as a similar situation.
        Hilarity will not commence.

    2. Spliced

      The Dan meter is about to go off the charts with Dan, yeah. Either thisisgoing to get really Dan, or it will backfire and get Dan all over Blaine

  7. Michael

    Oh man.

    1. I don't know what to put here.

      Oh Dan.

  8. Geminia999

    No Amber, I am your father

    Noooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

    1. Geminia999

      And now I see lightsaber ads on the side of the page O_o

  9. Dedlok

    Ffffffffffffffffffffff

    1. Maycroft

      uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

      1. Jordan

        ccccccccccccck

  10. Yotomoe

    Come into the dark with me. God’s natural light burns me.

    1. Wack'd

      Blaine is the reason Enterprise ended.

      1. JebJeb

        Blaine is the reason everything will end.

      2. Zap Rowsdower

        So, he can do good as well as evil?

        Or at least antiheroic shooting of rabid Old Yeller?

      3. Ancestral Hamster

        Blaine will fondle your private parts when you least want it.

        1. Mr K

          Uh, Eww.

        2. Wakeford

          … wait, are you implying you’d ever want it?

        3. The Sandman

          “Any time that is a time, and also any time that isn’t” is a valid choice for when you least want something.

        4. Spliced

          I thought that was Faz?

      4. James

        no he was resonable for the first two seasons of Enterpreise and first Season of TNG.

      5. Valdrax

        Can’t tell if supposed to despise or admire him for that.

    2. Aizat

      I knew it…Blaine is a vampire.

      1. I don't know what to put here.

        So THAT’S how he got Amber’s mom to marry him…

      2. hmrc4evr

        Somewhere a vampire is offended by that Aizat. And to make matters worse it’s one of those sparkley kind of vampires not the cooler Buffy ‘pires.

        1. Aizat

          Sparkly vampires? COME AT ME, BRO!

        2. begbert2

          Hey now, don’t get carried away – sparkly vampires, while completely non-awesome, are also card-carrying Mary Sues who, while they would never ever do anything bad or otherwise interrupt their angsting and pure perfect stalkerish love, are also like totally perfectly super and could completely dismantle you in a fight.

        3. Boom

          Defeat them using the inane rules of their own universe!

  11. Tunaro

    I am getting the Worst Star Wars flashbacks.

    1. Zap Rowsdower

      Really? I’m having flashbacks, sure, but none dealing with Natalie Portman and Hayden Christensen trying to act out a love story written and directed by George Lucas, the primary cause of the ‘worst’ desciptor…

      1. David

        Natalie Portman is good, very good, very excellent good; and yet she is not; she is but so so. She was excellent with Jean Reno, and that’s the mood we need here.

      2. StClair

        “I like going to Chancellor Palpatine’s office. He gives me candy!”

  12. Wack'd

    noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    1. Maycroft

      Dun dun dun
      dun
      dun dun
      dun dun duuuuuuuuuun!!!!!!!!!!!

  13. Alex

    NOOOO
    ABORT

    1. JustDucky

      If only…

    2. Yotomoe

      A few decades to late for that.

  14. Henry

    No. No no. Your kind is not welcome here. Go die in a hole, Blaine.

    1. Zap Rowsdower

      Oh come on, he’s scum and its a college, his kind is more than welcome if they stay in their fraternities pumping money into the school for little actual teaching effort on the schools part, where they belong.

  15. Ace

    Oh my.

    1. I don't know what to put here.

      Mr. Takei, your input was sorely needed.

  16. TheStranger

    Evidently Amber never told him why she about-faced to join his family for lunch.

    1. Yotomoe

      He was too busy breaking up with her for that.

      1. begbert2

        Of course she had a chance. It could have been part of the relatively calm explanation which included “I think it’s very sweet that you’re faithful to Amazigirl, but what you haven’t noticed is that I’M Amazigirl, you sweet, faithful idiot.” Unfortunately Amber is exactly as bad at explaining things as Danny is at recognizing them, so that didn’t happen.

    2. Ourorboros

      She never had a chance. She was running from Blaine, got to the lobby and saw both Blaine and Danny’s family. So she ducked there for cover.
      He Danned (never noticed how much that looks like ‘damned’) up the aftermath by blowing up at her.
      He was angry because he was going to have to explain to his parents why he broke up with another girl.
      So she never had a chance to explain. She was actually in the afterglow of his sincere compliments of her at dinner.
      Not like at 18 you go through prospective relationships like you do fashion choices or toothpaste.

  17. Luzahn

    Blaine, you’re lucky Danny’s not too good at this sort of thing. Ominously stepping out of the shadows is not a sign of a trustworthy character.

    1. Wack'd

      Worked well enough for Alan one universe over.

      1. John

        I don’t know if I’d really describe Alan as “trustworthy”.

    2. Yotomoe

      Maybe it’s just really bright outside. I enjoy the shade down here in ‘da south.

    3. Ourorboros

      The scene does cry for the “Duh-duh-duh” music or something vaguely ominous.

  18. Alex Stritar

    UHOHUHOHUHOHUHOHUH-*whiplash*
    Damn you Willis, you didn’t prepare me for this!

  19. Catriona

    I don’t think “uh oh” really illustrates the horror of this situation, Mr Willis.

    1. Dorsilus

      Agreed. It might be more appropriate to go with a “DAMN YOU.”

  20. Mer

    Well this can only end well…

  21. Mr K

    I’d like Danny to whack him in the face. I hope that he doesn’t trust him.
    Amber told him about her dad, right?

    1. Jen Aside

      No, and therein lies the problem =C

      1. Yotomoe

        Jen, I’ve viewed your gravatar in many envious moments. May we mortals see the official pic of which it is drawn from, if you please?

        1. Oberon

          This.

        2. John Merklinghaus

          The gravatar was made specifically for her by Willis as a backer reward for a Kickstarter project.

        3. Jen Aside

          I’ve noticed that SOMEONE’S website doesn’t prevent directory listing but I won’t say whose ’cause that’s rude!

      2. Mr K

        What we have here is a failure to communicate.

    2. Ourorboros

      Nope, tore into Amber before she could explain.

      1. begbert2

        (Tore?)

        1. Ourorboros

          Past tense of tear into.
          He never gave her a chance to explain or ask for an explaination.
          He just started whining (because he’s Dan) about how he’s going to have to explain to his parents that he broke up with another girl, how she really used him (and is therefore a terrible person), and said they shouldn’t talk anymore.
          Then left.

          Sure, it qualifies. He ignored some realities of life, but it qualifies.

  22. David Herbert

    Danny’s going to bring him into the dorm, isn’t he? Though, to be fair, he probably doesn’t know.

    1. Jon P

      I hope so, because if he shows up in the dorm again, Ruth will acquaint him with the business end of a hockey stick, and I feel like the negative punishment will eventually get him to stop showing up in this town.

      1. begbert2

        And/or she’ll acquaint him with the negative end of the police, which might do an even better job of keeping him away.

        1. Jordan

          That or Blaine will recognize her in costume and out her in front of all her friends. And then he’ll be escorted out by Ruth + security

        2. Boom

          And then acid?

  23. Idon'tcarenomore

    It gets interesting. I hope Amber Amazi-girl doesn’t leave anything left of Blaine but a grease stain on the sidewalk.

    1. NoHeart

      I would make that my screen saver

    2. Yotomoe

      Cuz one by one they’ll all become a black mark on the floor.
      Is it me, you say, you’re looking for.
      Let me show you who I am and what I’m here for.
      HERE FOOOOOR

      1. Ongion

        … Sonic Heroes, right?

        1. Sorath

          Yeah! Can we have a montage of Amber kicking Blaine’s ass to What I’m Made Of?

    3. Ourorboros

      Beaten, why for (why for)
      Can’t take much more
      Here we go here we go here we go, now

      One, nothing wrong with me
      Two, nothing wrong with me
      Three, nothing wrong with me
      Four, nothing wrong with me

      One, something’s got to give
      Two, something’s got to give
      Three, something’s got to give
      Now!

      Let the bodies hit the floor

    4. Valdrax

      Wouldn’t it be funny/horrible/perfect if the only person who could recognize Amber as Amazi-Girl was her father? And this was how Danny found out?

      1. hof1991

        It would indeed be a perfect DAMN YOU WILLIS moment, so expect it.

    5. Al Schroeder

      Yep. Called this yesterday. Amazi-Girl needs someone worth beating up to beat up. Sal doesn’t qualify. Danny CERTAINLY doesn’t qualify. Her father, though?

      I’m going to enjoy this. (Reaching for the popcorn.)

      1. Al Schroeder

        Sorry, my bad. Called it day BEFORE yesterday. On Christmas. And Amazi-Girl beatig up on her father will be my Christmas/New Year’s present.

  24. threngrey

    Oh, Goddammit.

    1. pyrophobia

      Goddannit.

  25. Jack Finch

    Willis….I hate you.

  26. Zap Rowsdower

    Seriously, Blaine, standing in the shadows while extending your hand and trying to trick an innocent young person into getting you what you believe to be yours that others know and say isn’t? Put on a black robe and start cackling about the power of the Dark Side why don’t you, it’ll complete the image.

    1. Cholma

      He probably drives a white panel van and hands out candy

      1. Carlos

        He probably sits in a rotating chair on a platform with the finger pyramid of sinister intent saying “Good…. Good”

        1. begbert2

          To be entirely fair, I would do that too if I had a rotating chair on a platform.

  27. Calvin Coolage

    BLAIINNNEEE!

  28. Wonder Wig

    Mother ducking Natural Choice dog food ad started playing underneath the comic! It was a weird way for Blaine to dramatically enter from the shadows.

    1. Yotomoe

      I can help. I’m a healthy alternative of dog food.

    2. Jay Eff

      Blaine: “Hello, then, I’m her father. And when she was still under my roof I told her to feed Rover only Natural Choice dog food! Yes, Natural Choice – the only choice for your pampered pooch! Now then, what did you say your name was, son?”

      Danny: “This product placement is getting to be a bit much.”

      1. Zap Rowsdower

        The only way to get rid of Blaine is with Hostess Fruit Pies!

        1. MM

          So that’s why he didn’t want to stop at the convenience store for Amber.

        2. Yusaku777

          Need fanart, stat. *sets out collection jar*

        3. The Sandman

          And that’s why he made sure to destroy Hostess.

  29. Kernanator

    NUKE THEM FROM ORBIT, IT’S THE ONLY WAY TO BE SURE!

    1. MM

      Wait, where’s Faz? We may only get one shot at this!

      1. Mr K

        I feel sorry for the little creep. Nobody deserves to live with Blaine. Living with Blaine must have given him poor social skills.

        1. John

          In the other universe, he never knew Blaine, and his social skills are, if anything, worse.

        2. Yotomoe

          Well, maybe it’s Blaine’s fault in THIS universe.

        3. xKiv

          Would there be a Faz without Blaine in either universe?

        4. begbert2

          I’m not sure they’re worse over there. He’s just gotten tons more time to SHOW that they’re worse.

  30. Sensedog

    Well, this is probably the first time thus far that I find myself feeling sympathy for Danny. And the poor, dense fool has no idea what kind of asshole he is dealing with.

    1. marr

      Sadly, he doesn’t even need to use a jedi mind trick on Danny. He is preconfused.

  31. NoHeart

    Sonuva!

  32. NoHeart

    Sonuva!

  33. Yotomoe

    Danny. Why wouldn’t you call what Amber was wearing Plaid? Why would you call it yellow & blue. YOU EVEN DAN UP DESCRIBING OUTFITS!

    1. Ourorboros

      Because he looks even more dense for not noticing those are Amazi-Girl’s colors.

      1. Daibhid C

        I hadn’t noticed that until he said it. It’s like Billy Batson’s red and yellow shirts!

        1. Black

          I thought for a moment that maybe he had actually realized that Amber is Amazigirl, then reading comments and reviewing the archives I realized that she was actually wearing yellow and blue plaid…

          Why is Danny so Danny?

  34. John

    Come on, Danny. Random nameless picture-taking extra recognized Amazi-Girl just from your crappy description, and I bet he’s never even made out with her. How do you keep Danning it up?

    1. Yotomoe

      You can’t stop the Dannalanche.

    2. marr

      And you just stood in front of said extra screaming her real name. I see her getting hurt from as many directions as possible. in the coming strips.

  35. Mr K

    I wonder if Faz is around? I bet Dina secretly wants him.

    1. Bill

      I don’t think so.

      1. Mr K

        Seriously, Faz and Dina both share a lot in common if you think about it.

    2. The Sandman

      Well, the velociraptors aren’t going to feed themselves.

  36. JessWitt

    In DoA, there’s always room for “things can’t get any worse” surprise.

  37. Idon'tcarenomore

    Isn’t the kid pointing away from the dorm? Don’t see why Danny should take Blaine into the Dorms. But then, it is Danny.

  38. GoldStarz

    This update is like nails on a chalkboard!

  39. someguywithakatana

    See, everyone thinks this is going to end horribly, but you have to remember who we’re dealing with. Danny Dans up everything. Blaine sorely underestimates the forces that he’s dealing with. Sure, he can probably manipulate Danny into… doing whatever it is he wants Danny to do… But do you honestly think Danny won’t fuck it up? Whatever he’s plotting is going to crumble into pieces the moment he includes Danny into it, whatever it is.

    1. Wack'd

      Holy crap, you’re right.

      1. someguywithakatana

        Danny has finally found a situation in which he can use his powers for justice

        1. Dorsilus

          Or just Dan it up to a whole new level. I wouldn’t put it past Willis.

    2. MM

      Yes, but we’re assuming it’s going to fail in the worst possible way. Which will still probably be a net loss for Amber.

      1. Bill

        Cue Murphy’s Law:  Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong. At the worst possible time, and in the worst possible way.

        1. xKiv

          You forgot the corollary: if it can’t go wrong, it will go wrong anyway.

          Finagles is great and Murphy is his prophet.

    3. Alex Stritar

      Unforchenetly, it is turning over a new leaf and trying to redeem himself in his family’s eyes, starting with picking up his son from the post office.

      1. ST

        Holy shit.. is.. where did Faz even go. Has he been standing in their room this whole time. I don’t remember Blaine even retrieving him.

        How long has passed anyway.

        1. Bill

          When last seen, Dina had turned Faz — wrapped like a Christmas package — over to Ruth.

        2. Mr K

          She’s gonna get him returned. The postal service has a strict anti-Faz policy.

    4. Ourorboros

      He’s trying to get in or to get Danny to lead Amber somewhere.
      He’ll tell Danny not to tell Amber because Amber is angry from a misunderstanding and he needs to see Amber somewhere private to apologize. Danny will be asked to leave before she finally gets to the destination.
      The Danning will be actually doing this, trapping Amber with Blaine. Or Blaine will ambush them before then.

      The Dan is too strong in this one for him to get it right.

      1. UnspeakableAnger

        Oh, no… I’m going to end up damning you along with Willis if that happens. It works is what pisses me off about it.

    5. Doom Shepherd

      This suggests that Danny would even Dan up failing. I must respectfully disagree with the paradox.

  40. Pterocine

    He certainly would fit in well with the Sith.

    1. Zap Rowsdower

      What would he be called, though? The father-based name is already taken.

      Darth Douchebag?

      1. KingMabel

        More like Dick Vader.

      2. Aizat

        Darth Asshat? Darth Dicks? Darth Asshole?

        1. Yotomoe

          Darth Hater.

        2. Doom Shepherd

          Darth Turdbucket.

      3. Rosie

        Since Darth can usually be replaced with In, Darth Tolerable?

        1. xKiv

          And, eventually, Darth Mate?

        2. Doom Shepherd

          Just as long as it’s not Darth Cest.

  41. Xerxes93

    shit shit shit shit shitity shit shit

  42. Eromer

    I just gasped and covered my mouth involuntarily…..

    I’ve been reading webcomics a long time…..I’ve never been as invested as I am in this one….well done, Mr. Willis…my hat goes off to you….my heightened emotional response and impatience to read more is a testament to your fantastic writing.

    That said,…..oh my gaaaaahhhhhh!!! Blaine!!!

  43. David Herbert

    I just took another look at Blaine and he’s smiling politely. Oh God does that look unnatural on him.

    1. Ourorboros

      I think he’s smiling sheepishly, which will lead to his cover story.

  44. Aizat

    Oh…God…no. HAPPY NOW, DANNY HATERS? ARE YOU ENTERTAINED?

    1. TaintedSpud

      Immensely.

    2. Corsair114

      Oh, yes. There will be blood.

  45. Idon'tcarenomore

    As many twists as we’ve seen in this story arc: I’m waiting for Danny to actually pull thru and help Amber against Blaine.

    1. C.W. Roden

      I sincerely hope you are right, and I hope Danny has the good sense not to let this asshole kidnap him.

    2. Bill

      Excuse me?  This is Danny we’re talking about.
      You may be waiting a long time.

  46. timemonkey

    See, Amber this is why you should have told the people around you about your father. It’s understandable you didn’t want to be known as the abuse victim on campus but it would prevent your asshole of a father from using your friends as a way into your life.

    1. timemonkey

      Also, Ruth, this is why you don’t put off telling Amber her dad got caught trying to sneak back onto campus.

  47. clodia

    ohshitsohshitohshitsohshit

    I think someguywithakatana has an excellent point about Danny’s ability to Dan up plans may work in his favor here, and yet

    ohshitohshitohshitsohshit

  48. Ragnal

    How many times do we have to teach you a lesson, old man?!

  49. wynne

    Oh no. No. No no no. No no no no no FUCK NO. No.

  50. Aizat

    Please let this end with Danny socking Blaine in the jaw….

    1. Mr K

      He’d become my new favorite character/

    2. Yotomoe

      Danny would break his own hand trying to do that.
      HE WOULD SOMEHOW HIT BLAINE AND MAKE HIM STRONGER.

      1. Aizat

        Damnit Yotomoe…don’t ruin this…only chance for Danny to be awesome.

        1. Valdrax

          He doesn’t have to. It’s Danny.

  51. RSLee

    Wow, I’d thought that Amber’s day had gone about as poorly as possible. Bringing in the abusive dad? That is just some impressive sadism, Mr. Willis.

    1. Zap Rowsdower

      Meh, she’s a superhero, this’ll either be her Batman RIP moment where Emergency Backup Personality Amazigirl kicks in, or the origin story moment where she comes to terms with her inner issues and becomes a true hero.

      1. Ancestral Hamster

        Or the point she becomes the Dark Phoenix and destroys the galaxy.

  52. Zobot257

    DANNY! Just… don’t look away from it, and sloooowly back away. It can’t get you if you don’t show it any fear.

  53. Alexander Krizak

    Hmm… I would think that most people would refer to what Amber was wearing as yellow and brown (the main colours of her shirt and pants respectively); there’s not much blue on her shirt at all.

    Unless, of course, Danny wasn’t that far behind and knows that Amber is now wearing yellow and blue exclusively…

    1. Marcos Dantas

      At my screen, she is wearing yellow & green plaid, not blue!

      1. John

        Yellow and blue make green!

  54. Archivist

    Aaaaaaaaaaaah!

  55. otusasio451

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  56. newllend

    Dun Dun Dun daaaaa, oh shit

  57. Aizat

    Here’s a question…Blaine has been there the entire night? NICE WORK, BILLIE!

    1. Mr K

      Billie’s policing skills are worse than her Journalism skills/

  58. nothri

    Oh god…this is gonna be the crowning Danning of all Dannings, isn’t it?

    1. newllend

      This ones not going to be on him, but it will be really bad

      1. nothri

        We’ll see. Depends on what he does, really.

    2. MM

      A Dantastrophe. The Danpocalypse. Maybe even Danmageddon.

      1. nothri

        Utterly Danation?

        1. nothri

          Sigh. Meant to type “utter”.

      2. Rosie

        GotterDannerung.

    3. C.W. Roden

      Or he’s going to kidnap Danny.

  59. momomelon

    this is the first time I have naturally responded with a damn you Willis!!!!
    damn you Willis and your diabolical web-comicing

  60. Aizat

    OH SHIT, IT’S BLAINE!

    1. Rani

      IF it were some other character, we’d be counting down the strips before Blaine gets whats coming to him.

      Since it’s Danny, we’ve stopped counting and started praying.

  61. MM

    Lesson (re)learned: never ask “How much worse can it get?” while reading Dumbing of Age. Even in the ostensible privacy of your own thoughts. Willis sees all.

  62. Alden

    When they make Dumbing of Age into a TV show, this will be the dramatic cliffhanger at the end of an episode, I think.

    1. newllend

      TV fuck TV, I’ll tell you what a good idea a online website that takes web comics and turn them into 20 minute shows…ahh but its just a crazy dream

      1. Ourorboros

        Actually it isn’t. I’ve thought of this for Paranatural too.
        It’s been suggested that would be good for tv, but a network would ruin it. Even a cable network. The story itself is well structured and suitable.
        But Amazon and Netflix are going into original content and aren’t staying within the same constraints as broadcast shows. Also, the lack of traditional entertainment executives who want to put every plot and character into the same tired, overused tropes work in favor of a traditional story.

  63. Ikaru

    ….Ok, who pulled the drama tag here?!?!

  64. kagato23

    THERE’S NO DRAMA TAG IN THIS UNIVERSE. THERE’S A DRAMA TRAIN AND IT NEVER STOPS ROLLING.

    1. Kiggy

      More like an unstoppable, searing pyroclastic flow from a drama volcano.

      Which is about to go into a Krakatoa-class eruption…..x_x

      1. The Sandman

        I think it’s more of a drama flood basalt, honestly.

  65. Keroshino

    OH GODDAMIT!!!!

  66. Rani

    Oh. OH

    FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

  67. TaintedSpud

    And now for the dissenting opinion: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

    *gets popcorn and a comfy chair*

    Dis gon be gooooooooooooood.

  68. The Candyman

    I think there were actually a lot of people who were expecting this.

  69. Stephen

    Given how Danny describes what Amber is wearing, it sounds like he knows that she is Amazi-girl after all?

    1. MM

      Nope, she was wearing yellow and blue before. Chalk it up to convenient coincident and/or Amber really likes those colors.

      1. Al Schroeder

        Which is another reason Danny is so clueless. Both Amber and Amazi-Girl tend to dress up in the same colors, have the same hair color, the same general build….
        Oh, well, at least he’s not a trained investigative reporter like, say, Lois Lane…

      2. Ourorboros

        It isn’t convenient coincidence, super heroes and villains often wear their colors in their civvies.

    2. Norah

      The lines in her plaid shirt were a blue-green, really more blue than green. So maybe Danny would describe it as blue because he isn’t good at describing stuff. Unless maybe he did see Amazi-Girl from the back and think Amber had just changed her clothes? And maybe when he sees her front he’ll realize Amber is Amazi-Girl? Although knowing Danny, he’d probably Dan it up and think it was Sal again.

      1. kelticat

        Interestingly enough, a lot of guys don’t really differentiate colors. I remember a lipstick commercial saying they had ten shades of pink, three shades of brown, four shades of blue, and two shades of purple, and my dad said that they all looked red to him. I’ve also encountered a couple where the wife was going on about shades of green and brown, and her husband had this pained/puzzled look on his face.

        1. Ourorboros

          It’s true, it has a lot to do with vocabulary and training.
          If you don’t have the words for the different shades, you can differentiate when you see them side by side, but in your memory they will both be the same all encompassing descriptor.
          It’s been tested out on people with different languages that don’t have the same color palette.

          The upshot is that guys who aren’t artists don’t deal with all those unique shades and their names. Also most guys aren’t going to care about whatever needs those shades of green and brown.

        2. John

          If I recall the results of xkcd’s color-naming experiment correctly, it turns out that there’s no significant difference between the number of shades that men and women distinguish between; the main difference is that men tend to call them things like “purply-pink” and “blue-green” where women tend to call them “fuchsia” and “teal”.

          Also, naming too many colors at one time drives people completely bonkers.

        3. Ourorboros

          It isn’t a question of distinguishing – everybody sees colors just fine.
          Because of the lack of specific vocabulary, remembering a specific tone is iffier.

  70. Norah

    Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck.

  71. Ender

    Ahhhhh! Kill it with fire!

    1. kiddiesea

      Your comment match perfectly with your avatar 🙂

  72. Kas

    My first thought with this is that Danny and Blaine are going to run into Amazigirl and Blaine’s going to recognize his daughter and welp.

    1. Mr K

      Or maybe he’ll come on to Amber beating up Sal and be proud of her.

      1. xKiv

        No, because
        1) she’s not doing it correctly
        2) she’s not doing it with his permission
        3) she’s has to hide who she is to do it

  73. Beachfox

    NO!
    FRESHMAN FAMILY WEEKEND IS OVER!
    YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED BACK IN THE COMIC, BLAIN!
    BAD!
    BAD BLAIN!

    1. David Willis

      It’s Sunday, dude. Freshman Family Weekend is decidedly not over.

  74. Nono

    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/04-just-hangin-out-with-my-family/whatchanged/

    Hindsight is 20/20, right?

  75. Dierna

    Was he just WAITING in the shadows for somebody to mention Amber?

    1. David Willis

      I wanted him to merely recognize Danny from yesterday, but having Danny run outside shouting for Amber without mentioning her name seemed kind of unlikely. But he recognizes Danny from yesterday. He glared hard enough.

    2. Ourorboros

      Ambush would have been my first guess.

  76. Ridureyu

    I knew Danny was the one who brought Amber’s dad here!

  77. Harley

    Well, this can only end badly.

  78. Giant Speck

    STOP HURTING ME, WILLIS. PLEASE.

  79. Random832

    I want to get off Mr. Willis’ wild ride.

    1. Oberon

      THE RIDE NEVER ENDS

  80. Regalli

    Oh.
    God.

    DAMMIT.

  81. Blackbird

    Ever share a full name with a character in a webcomic, know that you share a full name with this character, and yet still feel weird every time somebody uses her last name? Welcome to the world of THIS Amber O’Malley.

    1. David Willis

      We should compare notes on middle names.

  82. Mr K

    Maybe Blaine will be proud of Amber for being even more violent than him.

  83. Megasteve

    I remember a few pages ago I said that Dannny was gonna Dan this whole situation into the sun, and right now it seems as though Dan has set course for a black friggin hole.

  84. Chupabarbara

    Fun fact: Random stranger now has photo evidence and a full name to put with Amazi-girl. Guess who steals the story from Billie and Dorothy’s nose?

    Not so fun fact: Everything else.

    1. horrorshow88

      Oh shiiiiit I didn’t even think of that! I thought seeing him with his phone out felt slightly ominous but couldn’t decide why.

    2. greengeekgirl

      Yeah, but I don’t think dude was close enough to overhear her name. It looks like he was closer to the building, or even inside, and Danny has walked a bit away from it.

      1. Ourorboros

        Danny’s yelling at the base of the stairs, although it looks like bystander #1 is inside.
        Conveniently enough, there is leeway for writer to do this either way.

    3. Valdrax

      Maybe, maybe not. We know Danny was indoors when talking to the guy and outdoors when calling Amber’s name. He *might* have heard that, but he sure as heck wouldn’t have gotten the last name from Blaine.

  85. Chupabarbara

    Dannit. Why Dan, why now?

  86. MISTERSPAGHETTIHANDS

    “join the dark side Anaikin” Oh god I almost said luke whew ……….. well that’s what this feels like the premiddle of episode 3 (in the good way -but scary way)

  87. C.W. Roden

    Ohhhhh…..shit! Danny Run!

  88. EvergreenFir

    “She’s wearing yellow and blue”… clever Willis

  89. etybolik

    What’s that, Amber? You’ve already had a shit day? Nope, sorry, it’s only gonna get about 10,000 times worse. I’m kinda hoping Ethan or Amazi-Girl just happen to spot him and wreck his shit. Or that a meteor will face on his face. What a cock.

    1. Mr K

      Don’t insult male genitalia by comparing them to Blaine.

      1. RandomRedMage

        This comment, with that gravitar image… brilliant. 😀

  90. Romanticide

    http://www.noooooo.info/

  91. Super Duper

    I got it. Blaine is Gendo Ikari. Only more of a dick.

    1. Kiggy

      Blaine makes Gendo look nice in comparison.

  92. Shanunu

    Slaps forehead at Danny in the first second panel (Yes, two slaps). Seriously Danny?? How much more obvious can you be for yourself??

    AND BLAINE IS GOING TO BE THE REASON DANNY FIGURES THIS OUT. I JUST CAN’T WITH YOU ANY MORE, DANNY.

  93. TrueVCU

    Amber Vs The Universe

  94. Kartewns

    sHIT

  95. LimeTH

    I may be remembering wrong, but this might be the first DoA strip to ever make me visibly cringe. Bravo.

  96. Plasma Mongoose

    Willis sure loves throwing wet poopy at electric fans.

  97. Keroshino

    Well Danny, you wanted to be Amazi-girl’s Lois Lane…well Blaine is here to help!

  98. Louu

    WHY DOES THIS JUST KEEP GETTING WORSE

  99. SaraD

    run boi

  100. Mo

    Four years from now, Curly there is gonna be a major player in this strip. You watch.

  101. Peruhain

    To paraphrase Astro from the Jetsons: Ruh-roh Reorge!

  102. David

    It does not need even need Danny to danny up this situation.

  103. Person

    Danny, if you Dan this up I swear to god…

  104. Tarnagh

    What frightens me most is that this guy is more than capable of hurting Dan because he knows it’d hurt Amber by association.

  105. Vim-Hogar

    i thought this couldn’t get any worse

    i was wrong

    D:

    1. Kernanator

      Don’t you know? This comic is turtles all the way down. And by “turtles”, I mean “disasters”.

  106. Kutharos

    I could say ‘what else could go wrong?’ But I know something will go wrong.

  107. Vash

    DROP DEAD BLAINE. AGAIN.

  108. Hippoman

    What I find most interesting/disturbing is that Blain’s expression is vaguely friendly. If he’s learned some subtlety he’s a lot more dangerous then he is when he’s in a rage.

  109. Synnerman

    For the love of Hannibal Lecter!

  110. Jammy

    (Breathing intensifies)

  111. LionHeart

    OH GOD

  112. randonimity

    My reaction to DoA these past two weeks have been little more than “I am not okay with this,” in varying degrees of intensity. Today’s strip tops it and I just know eventually Mr. Willis will make today’s strip feel less like the gut-punch it is.

    I do not know how to feel about that…

    1. David

      This is not a gut punch. It is just checking out the gut tension.

      The gut punch will be Blain escaping to the room where Amber’s mom is banging Joe’s dad, Amber and Ruth in close pursuit.

      And then David will manage to make the situation much worse.

      1. ninja_jesus

        Dr. Rosenthal would strangle the life out of Blaine, I think.

  113. Deathjavu

    There are no prizes for predicting that something bad would come out of Danny’s actions.

    Because a prize that literally everyone wins doesn’t mean a whole lot.

  114. Kiggy

    Run, Danny, RRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNN!!!!!!

  115. Deathjavu

    Also, thank christ there aren’t friday cliffhangers at the moment. This would be the worst one ever, by a mile.

  116. Elliot-Chatham

    Never thought that Willis could bring a college-based webcomic into the same levels of dramatic intensity as his old sci-fi based webcomic. Never underestimating Willis again.

  117. DR_GONZO

    Bob Hare psychopathy checklist:
    glib and superficial charm
    grandiose (exaggeratedly high) estimation of self
    need for stimulation
    pathological lying
    cunning and manipulativeness
    lack of remorse or guilt
    shallow affect (superficial emotional responsiveness)
    callousness and lack of empathy
    parasitic lifestyle
    poor behavioral controls
    sexual promiscuity
    early behavior problems
    lack of realistic long-term goals
    impulsivity
    irresponsibility
    failure to accept responsibility for own actions
    many short-term marital relationships
    juvenile delinquency
    revocation of conditional release
    criminal versatility

    Read more: http://www.minddisorders.com/Flu-Inv/Hare-Psychopathy-Checklist.html#ixzz2ofFEIN6O

    1. Kernanator

      You’d better be talking about Blaine, because as much as Danny frustrates me, I don’t think he’s an actual psychopath.

      1. Ourorboros

        Danny is certainly not glib and has no superficial charm. He lacks cunning and manipulativeness.
        In fact, he lacks at least 90% of the list, although his dream was to live a parasitic lifestyle.

  118. Zigzag

    (First panel) So close, Danny, so close.

    Maybe with Danny shouting her full name after asking her description after she just jumped and ran away will get that kid to put things together and reveal her identity. But probably not.

  119. Bilfred

    Nothing good can come of this.

  120. ninja_jesus

    I sense a cathartic moment coming on. Something about Danny and Blaine meeting Amazi-Girl, and her letting out all her anger on Blaine, and Danny finally realizing that Amazi-Girl was Amber the whole time; or maybe he could finally have a badass moment and protect Amber from her father, but that would be asking too much.

    It sucks being a fan of Danny. :\

    1. Scott

      Tru dat.

    2. Bilfred

      Willis won’t let you have it. He’ll have Amazi-Girl come and attack Blaine, all right, but Danny will be repulsed.

    3. ninja_jesus

      HOLY SHIT, I JUST REALIZED I FUCKING CALLED IT.

  121. Rokku

    This is indeed the darkest timeline.

  122. Jason

    how much of a fool is this guy to come back immediately after being ejected

  123. Gargamel

    Danny didn’t mom ever tell you not to talk to strangers? This is how people end up in holes dug in a basements putting on lotion.

  124. flamelordkay

    Blaine is a pain and also a train.

  125. CianM1301

    Oh God, it’s the Ghost of Beatings Past!

  126. gangler

    I am so not cool with this.

  127. WaytoomanyUIDs

    Cheese! Dan is like the Dan of finding new ways of danning it up.

    1. WaytoomanyUIDs

      Also. DAMN YOU WILLIS!!!!

      1. Bilfred

        DAN YOU WILLIS!!!

        1. Keroshino

          All of the “Dan”!!!

  128. What was the question again?

    Okay danny, all you have to do is not be caught having sex with amber’s dad while she’s in the amazigirl costume.

    You have one job, don’t danny it up.

  129. Lel

    Well, absolutely nothing could go wrong here.
    At least there’s no sign of Faz.

    1. Lel

      Waaaaait… he’s going to hurt Danny, isn’t he. Just to show Amber he’s still someone to be afraid of. That’s why he’s smiling.

      Fuck.

  130. Kat

    Well shit, this isn’t going to end well

  131. CookieCrumbler

    He seems a little….SHADY

  132. Arkantos

    AW FUCK!

  133. Kevin

    DAMN YOU WILLIS!

  134. Alexx

    WOW THIS SITUATION IS IMPROVING….just…better and better.

  135. DudeMyDadOwnsADealership

    Ugh…You know after this is all over, every guilty party involved is going to be responsible for what they did wrong EXCEPT for ‘good ol’ Danny.

  136. Jen

    Congrats, Willis. More than any other comic I read, yours elicits the most gasps, audible laughter, and actual verbal reactions on an almost daily basis. You have quite the knack for storytelling, sir. 🙂

  137. AckAckAck

    Willis, making Danny Dan it up one level higher everytime. You…. you…. I like you.

  138. Caffienated

    I hope Danny runs… but I know he’s gonna Dan it up.

  139. fogel

    Any point hoping for a character who could be helpful to show up, or is it going to be a waltz of increasingly schizo Amber, psycho Blaine & Danny Dan?

    1. Random832

      I’m not sure this is really a good point in the storyline to be introducing new characters.

      1. fogel

        Not new new, I meant any of the established characters who could help in a crisis. Ethan knows Blaine and might be of use (and redeem himself some). Ruth knows about Blaine. Dina knows Blaine is bad and could do something, even if it’s call the PD (although they’re notable by their absence). Doesn’t Mike know Blaine from knowing Ethan and Amber? Mike on Blaine–THAT would be sweet.

        1. Random832

          I suspected when I posted it that I would have to explain the joke. I was implying that none of the existing significant characters is capable of helping due to their own issues etc. I hadn’t considered the “beat Blaine up / call the cops” angle, though.

        2. fogel

          I see what you meant now and I don’t know who can help Amber with herself.

    2. The Sandman

      Well, we don’t know where Ronald Reagan went after he disappeared from Shortpacked…

      1. Alex Stritar

        So he’s now traveling the multiverse, helping other versions of his co-workers?

      2. fogel

        True, but Ethan dealt with Blaine in the Shortpacked continuity.

  140. Jehosaphat

    Oh shit…

  141. asmcint

    QUICK DANNY! PUNCH HIM! PUNCH HIM TO THE MOOOOONNNNN!!!!

    1. Mr. Morningstar

      he needs to ask if he likes bannanas

      1. asmcint

        And call him a bongo repeatedly. 😀

  142. AgentKeen

    Y;know, this is probably the best way to make Danny less boring.

  143. Mr. Morningstar

    Danny look at him he is hiding in the shadows sinisterly. You cannot trust this man!

  144. Tealjoy

    Fuck. Fuck. FUCK. What is this, “Fuck with Amber’s barely stable mindset” day? And can he be in any creeper just standing in the shadows. UGH.

    1. Heavensrun

      Amber’s mindset has not been stable, barely or otherwise, for several strips. In the very last strip, she was literally planning to ambush an innocent person.

      1. CJGrimm

        Pretty sure he meant day in the comicverse, in which the past several strips have been based.

        1. Magyk

          I love how he called sal innocent.

        2. Keroshino

          Sal? Innocent? Ha!

        3. timemonkey

          Innocent of anything that would require current punishment. Sal didn’t get away with her previous crimes. She was caught and punished and is still suffering for it. If Amber had attacked her she’d have been completely in the wrong.

        4. Heavensrun

          This.

  145. Just for kix

    Danny the DOOM MAGNET strikes again! If ever there was a super human who attracts tragedy towards himself without fail and those close to him, the name of his alter-ego must be Danny!

    1. KittyK

      I’m pretty sure his name is actually Peter Parker.

  146. Oishi

    Oh glob this is the creepiest stripe I seen in a while…….

    1. Oishi

      Why do I always get a stupid boy gravitar no matter what email I use! >:(

      1. Oishi

        Wah I hate this! ;(

        1. Just for kix

          LOL! Your monologue was quite amusing 😀

        2. Jen Aside

          Haha, you KNOW, you can upload a “permanent” one to gravatar and fix that =p

  147. ridtom

    I fail to see how this meeting between an oblivious youth and an abusive dark lord wannabe could ever end badly.

    1. Comatose

      Your gravatar only makes this comment so much better.

  148. Tom Speelman

    OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT

  149. All Else Fails

    Fuck fuck fuck FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

    1. Kai Gon

      Whose Mom? And who will get the nickel?

  150. nick

    Wait.
    Wait.
    Yellow and Blue?
    Has Dan finally figured it out?
    IS THIS THE END OF THE UNIVERSE AS WE KNOW IT?!?

    1. Jen Aside

      hovertext: “danny should maybe consider his first-panel description a little harder”

      huh huh harder

  151. ShadowDJ

    Well, this is about to end badly.

  152. John Madden

    IT’S A TRAP!

  153. Tenn

    NOTHING BAD COULD POSSIBLY COME OF THIS!

    YOU ARE TRUSTING MY JUDGMENT BECAUSE I AM SMILING VERY WIDELY.

  154. Incubus

    Willis has PROMISED that he’d do something to make us like Danny. It’s coming I tell you! Everyone who hates Danny will eat their words!

    1. Evil Midnight Lurker

      And he’ll bring food! And shelter! AND SMITE OUR ENEMIES!

  155. Hobouturtle

    To be fair, while in the shadow, he doesn’t look that bad of a guy. Good to know that he can at least partially disguise his evilness when it needs to be hidden.

    The worst people you know won’t look like the worst people ever.

  156. Mr. Random

    There is also no way the guy there is going to be relevant. Ever.

  157. joeyo

    Why is this fucking asshole still here?

    1. David Willis

      Look, I have to be here, I’m drawing it!

      1. Heavensrun

        (rimshot)

      2. Albi

        Nice save… XD

        (P.S. in spite of all the DAMN IT WILLIS exclamations you’re not an asshole :D)

      3. Kai Gon

        Huh? I thought you were on holidays until January??

  158. Gizen

    The sad thing is that I think I actually hate Danny even more than Blaine.

    Make no mistake, I dislike Blain for what should be obvious reasons. But he’s also clearly intended to be a villainous character. He has thus far been shown to have no redeeming qualities whatsoever, and is thus intended to be hated. And as a side effect of that, we get to occasionally see him get his comeuppance, as with Amber clocking him. As such my dislike for him is not really any stronger than any other random detestable jackass.

    But Danny? Danny is a good person, and though his life will not be without it’s downs, he is unlikely to ever be so villainous as to truly have a bad fate befall him. Which is unfortunate, because the sheer level of obliviousness he possesses absolutely infuriates me. That he couldn’t see the bad road his relationship with Dorothy was going down or the way he kinda sorta hoped she would abandon her hopes and dreams to stay with him. That he would presume to know what a woman wants better than she does herself (his first meeting with Billy). That he would choose to be with somebody he doesn’t really know, doesn’t know anything about her or even her name and shows signs of potentially being psychologically unstable (Amazi-girl) over somebody else who he’s clearly interested in, and is clearly interested in him back, and is far more ‘real’ (Amber). Nevermind that they’re the same person, he doesn’t know that. And that drives me nuts as well! Even if Amber’s Amazi-Girl outfit is more convincing of a disguise than I give it credit for, even if it might be genuinely difficult to identify the two as the same person, the fact that he would seriously consider that Sal is Amazi-Girl is just… Like, how can he claim to be in a relationship with Amazi-Girl when he can seriously be convinced that her alter-ego is somebody who doesn’t even share the same body type as her!? And now there’s this bit with Blaine, and it’s obvious right away that this is going to go very poorly for everybody, and it just makes me hate Danny so much more than the actual villain himself. He infuriates me so.

  159. hmrc4evr

    Look! Under the tree!

    It’s a turd!

    It’s a Blaine!

    It’s AssholeDadman!

    1. quietlythundering

      OH MY CHRIST my sides hurt. I laughed waaay too hard at that!

    2. Jordan

      Nice!

  160. Albi

    HOW WILL DANNY DANNY THIS UP?

  161. Charles RB

    Well I missed yesterday’s strip, I wonder what happOH CHRIST!!

    Don’t Danny this up, Danny!

  162. Vigne the 3rd

    well this won’t end well….

  163. Jen Aside

    I just wanna add that I’m glad no idiocy seems to have spilled over to the “next available” comments section when I noticed it was still active on this strip.

  164. Hunter Pulliam

    Lord douchebag has returned

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