146

Box
Posted on May 22, 2012 by David M Willis
I will be at Phoenix Comicon this weekend!  I'll be tabling with Rob DenBleyker of Cyanide and Happiness in Artist Alley.   I've never been to Phoenix, so I'm excited for it.  I hope to see you there! Did you know that Michael Dorn's writeup on their website doesn't mention I am Weasel at all?  It's like they don't want me to be excited to see him.  

146 thoughts on “Box”

  1. Jen Aside

    TACO PANTS

    …BUTT TACO PANTS

    1. The Sound Defense

      This comment is more important than anything I was going to say.

      1. Flushmaster

        Seconded.

        1. that bard

          Indeed, a quite impressive display of, um, reference-smithing?
          .

  2. Yotomoe

    WHAT’S IN THE BOOOOOOOOX!!?

    1. Wonder Wig

      It’s a really embarrassing photo of SpongeBob at that Christmas party.

      1. Yotomoe

        by that logic it could also be full of IMAGINATION

      2. ProjectXa3

        This is most epic of wins.

    2. Math-yew

      Well if SNL has taught me anything, it’s probably a penis

      1. N0083rP00F

        If Boys in the hall have taught me anything at all, its the head of a guy with a cabbage for a head …. or the chicken lady ….

    3. Ancestral Hamster

      It’s a miniature naked Walky riding a miniature naked dinosaur!

      1. Blob Marley

        I’d buy it.

        1. Blob Marley

          Ooh lawdy; gravatar win.

        2. Ancestral Hamster

          Who knew DoA Joyce was so sex-mad? *wink*

        3. Random832

          So, question. Are random gravatars persistent? Like, will people from 100 years in the future who are reading the archive know that you’re posting as Mike?

        4. G127

          You do realise that in a hunderd years, it has been more that
          it has been more then one year in doa time (not counting
          more time skips of course)…

        5. Zababcd

          No, they re-randomise every so often.

          In 100 years, though, the webpage format of the internet will be obsolete, so no-one will care.

          Also, I have no idea what G127 said, although I can guess the general theme based on some key words.

        6. begbert2

          To be completely accurate, randomly assigned gravatars are retained until Willis adds more gravatars to the pool from which randomly assigned gravatars are assigned. (I personally suspect that what’s happening is that everybody has a numerical id assigned by the internet gods, the modulus of which it taken with the number of gravatars available. You know, as in “eenie, meenie, miney, moe”. Okay, enough of that.)

          So generally when new characters are added to the comic all the randomly assigned gravatars change, but until then they’re pretty stable.

        7. Jim

          I decided to bring my own. But that’s only because the “balloon on her head” was already taken, & the one I want from Ma3 might not pass (but my words will!).

        8. Xydux

          Just don’t splash on my face.

    4. Azumango

      BEEEEEEEES

    5. Jimmy

      Obviously the severed head of someone close to him. He will then of course have to find Mike and shoot him.

    6. Kernanator

      Solid Snake.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Solid Snake? Why did you mention my arch-nemesis?

      2. N0083rP00F

        Why is it always solid snake?
        Why not malleable snake or plastic snake or liquid snake or squeeze snake or slightly runny with a pungent aroma snake?

        1. Boing

          Liquid snake is actually a real character, but he’s apparently not as fond of cardboard boxes as his twin brother. Go figure.

        2. Bill M.

          I haven’t played some of the latest, but have they come up with names for the 5 dead brothers (or whatever, might be retconned alive like Solidus) from the Les Enfants Terribles project?

    7. Vex Godglove

      Nothing! Absolutely noting! Stupid! You so stupid!

    8. Onion

      Clocks, blocks, rocks, locks, a feller named Jacques?

  3. Mkvenner

    Joyce you are going to have to tell your parents sometime.

    1. Yotomoe

      Reading this made me realize the implications of what she just said.

      1. Math-yew

        I know, two weeks at school and she already has a taco fix? She is on a slippery slope, and not the fun kind

    2. TemplarKnight

      Based on WHAT? My parents don’t know I’m not a virgin(though they could seriously suspect) and they have no idea I was in an abusive relationship or contemplated suicide(unrelated to the relationship).

      1. Mkvenner

        For some people it eats away at them untill they tell someone.

      2. Spammy McSpamster

        Well it’s a good thing that you’ve told the random internets instead of your loving family.

        Keep ’em in the loop, buster. And don’t gimme no backtalk. DoA will be here when you get back.

        1. begbert2

          To be fair, we random internets are much nicer and understanding people than anybody’s parents. Invariably. Cuter, too.

          It’s not any of a parent’s business if you’re a virgin or not. The abusive relationship and suicide thing…well, I sure hope they talked to *somebody*.

          Somebody human, that is – not just us.

        2. Jackson

          we random internets are much nicer and understanding people

          Man, begbert, what internets have you been visiting? Because if your internets are nice and understanding, I want to go to there.

        3. Spammy McSpamster

          No offense, but you sound really stupid if you’re arguing against telling your family that you contemplated suicide and have been in abusive relationships.
          Stop giving easy advice that people want to hear. It isn’t helping serious issues like that.

          TemplarKnight – Go talk to someone *real* in your life. We don’t really exist.

        4. TemplarKnight

          I’m not saying you’re wrong. Going on face value suicide and abusive relationship, yes I would advice seeking help or talking it out. But I did specify past tense in both. I contemplated suicide between 5th-7th grade until I got help from church and football by gaining friends and confidence I didn’t have before. The abusive relationship was almost a decade ago, was three months long and although was abuse in every sense of the word, I could handle it because I was a 6’3 Defensive Lineman. If roles were reversed, I would have been thrown in jail. I didn’t even consider it an abusive relationship until I started comparing notes with other people who had been in abusive relationships and went “damn”.

          It’s one of those things that would be out of left field and would only cause them to worry about why I was telling them this now.

        5. Spammy McSpamster

          K, just checking! Too many kids these days seek refuge on the internet without going to the proper sources for help. While plenty of people on the internet can seem ‘supportive’, the quality of advice is usually pretty poor. ‘Anonymous’ friends on the internet often give false senses of security which lead to further isolation and issues :/

          I refer to everyone on the internet as ‘kids’ (so no offense there). I’m just old and have seen the same story many times before. “It’s too awwwkward to talk to my parents about!” And then I sigh a mighty sigh.

          Sounds like you went to good resources for help. I just wish more people did what you did.

        6. David

          Sometimes families aren’t loving or for whatever reason they’re not competent to help with a certain situation. I wouldn’t make assumptions. When in trouble, search out those who would be able to help, not those who are similar to you by accident of biology. Oftentimes those two groups are the same, but not always.

          Frankly, I don’t think I’d be so quick to tell someone what to do with their problems when I possess so little information.

        7. Jim

          While you’re here, can you tell us why Jeph titles his link “Dave Willis Is A Jerkface?”

          Did you abuse him or take his butt virginity??

        8. David

          It’s because I jerked in his face.

        9. Blob Marley

          I wish I could upvote this.

        10. Spammy McSpamster

          See above. Just seen this kinda thing too many times.

          The internet REALLY isn’t very supportive :/ And you should always ATTEMPT the family approach. You often get (good) surprising results.

    3. Plasma Mongoose

      I didn’t know that bikes even had tacos.

  4. Side_salad

    My flashback sense is tingling. . .

    1. Spammy McSpamster

      Yup. Flashback of the past 4 days.

      We’ll find out what’s really in the box in 2013.

  5. TemplarKnight

    It could be anything! It could even be a boat! You know how you’ve always wanted one of those.

    1. Izzy

      Templar, than why don’t we just take the Bo-

  6. Doctor_Who

    I think Mike really got him the pants. But they’re like hot pink or something.

    Walky won’t care. They’re comfy. And now Mike has to deal with a roommate who walks around in hot pink pajama jeans.

    1. Yotomoe

      they’re covered in hearts and a swirly caligraphic “tough boys” writing

      1. Doctor_Who

        It says “Come and get it” on the butt.

        1. lordphulish

          Juicy?

  7. Yotomoe

    Who orders a box of tacos?…who sells a box of tacos!?

    1. TemplarKnight

      Uh . . . Taco Bell:
      http://www.tacobell.com/food/featured

      1. Yotomoe

        fair enough…
        but who packages and ships a box of tacos!?

        1. Bekah

          There’s this service in my home town called “We Deliver”. You call them up, you tell them you want some tacos, and they go buy you some tacos, and bring them to your door. Then you pay them for the tacos.

        2. Yotomoe

          that sounds so awesome. but how do they turn a profit? finder’s fee? shipping charge?

        3. Bekah

          Shipping charge.

        4. Mo

          In college, we had something similar called “Takeout Taxi.” They charged you 15-20% on top of whatever the food charge was for order pickup and delivery fees.

        5. madd

          Takeout Taxi is still around.

        6. Random Guy

          Proctor and Gamble

    2. Wack'd

      Could be worse. Could be a bobcat.

  8. Sensedog

    Clearly the shirt has affected Joyce, for better or worse.

  9. Ryan

    I have a feeling Joyce is going to try and talk Dorothy out of being with Walky.

    1. TemplarKnight

      I think Joyce just doesn’t want to be alone.

  10. Joe

    Goddamn, now I want tacos too.

    1. Yotomoe

      We always want tacos. It’s just we try to block them out so we don’t eat them all.

      1. L

        I’m actually sick of them. Haven’t had one in awhile.

      2. N0083rP00F

        I am also sick of them … lactose and some of the oil substitutes they use in making those things plus the mystery meat (pink slime?) attacks my soul and my digestive tract. (>’.'<)

    2. Wizard

      I’m eating tacos right now.

      1. Leorale

        ::jealous::

  11. Plasma Mongoose

    Walky is worried that they might be actual butt tacos.

    1. Yotomoe

      worried? that sounds awesome.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        So you are telling me that if you found a literal butt taco in a box, you would be happy?

        1. Yotomoe

          Um…yeah. I’d put it on my tv and draw faces on it*

  12. John Madden

    That box contains a key to a door that is a gateway to where the souls of the damned reside!

    1. N0083rP00F

      Mickey D’s or the local banking establishment?

  13. MR C

    it’s alright joyce, i want tacos as well

  14. Bekah

    I’m less interested in the box of what may or may not be tacos or taco pajama pants, and more interesting in why Joyce has that bandaid on her hand.

    1. Random meme

      Glass + rapist’s face = cut hand

    2. andrew

      The cup thing at the party

      1. Bekah

        After a week?

        1. Yotomoe

          have you ever been cut deep? or at all….it takes a while to heal. I cut m pinky like 3 weeks ago and it still hasn’t fully healed.

        2. Bekah

          Yeah, I was in a car accident and cleaved my supraorbital process . Stiches came out after 10 days. Or, there was the time I cut off the tip of my middle finger. I took those stitches out myself after 4 days.

        3. Blob Marley

          It doesn’t seem quite Stitches-serious. It’s probably just a big chunk of flesh missing, which takes a while to grow back. And also Joyceis probably a bit of a sissy.

        4. Bekah

          Sissy and/or the stigmata thing lord of dance mentioned. That’s my working theory right now.

        5. Valdrax

          There are good reasons to keep a bandaid on an injury even after it’s scabbed over. For one thing, it helps protect the scab from catching on things if it’s in a place with frequent contact. Also, IIRC, a bandage with topical antibiotic on it will help an injury heal faster and with less scarring.

        6. Raoullefere

          Plus, you get to sing the band-aid song.

    3. Sensedog

      It’s probably still from when she glassed Ryan in the face, right before Sarah literally beat him with a baseball bat for attempted date rape.

      Overall, her hand seems to be healing well.

    4. lord of dance

      nonsense! clearly her faith is so strong that shes developing a stigmata

      1. Sarah

        Thank you! First thing I thought of as well

    5. Kernanator

      It’s covering up the countdown from the Reaper’s Game.

  15. Random meme

    Respect earned Joyce. RESPECT EARNED

  16. Futabakun

    I’m so glad someone else here thinks that Michael Dorn’s experience as Weasel should be celebrated by the fandom community. A true champion of dignity for us all.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      At least it mentions his other imprtant work such as the role of Maero ifrom Saints Row 2.

      1. Daibhid C

        It doesn’t mention his role as Lord Nebula in Captain Simian and the Space Monkeys either. Or the Martian Centurions in Duck Dodgers.

  17. Heavensrun

    Okay, so…Joyce wants to borrow Dorothy….and has a craving for tacos.

    . . .

    LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE HAVE SUBTEXT. My ship has hit the high seas!

    1. Blob Marley

      Ram Cthulhu with it. And Godspeed, good sir.

    2. Faeyas

      Oh gods you are right XD

    3. Raiser

      Can’t spell “subtext” without “buttsex”.

      …although that’s neither rear nor there…

      Whoops. Consider that last line null and Freud.

      (That’s when you say one thing, but you mean your mother.)

      ((If you mentally added a “rimshot” to the end of each line, give yourself a cookie. Also, look up the real meaning of “rimshot”, because whatever that “badum-TISH” thing is, it isn’t the act of hitting a drumstick on the rim of your snare without striking the drum head.))

      1. Blob Marley

        I know it’s at least sometimes called a “sting” but “sting” feels too generic – it can refer to a number of different thingers.

      2. Bekah

        I didn’t hear any rimshots, but I did hear the audience in my brain hissing and groaning at all the oldjokes/badpuns.

  18. Dahlia

    Well NOW I want tacos as well!

  19. Leorale

    They’re meant for each other!

  20. Leorale

    They’re meant for each other!

    1. Leorale

      Oops, sorry for the double-post! Willis, do you still delete these? if so, could you please delete this one?

  21. Harry

    First nine days:Over a year IRL.
    Following four days:One panel.

    wuuuuuuuuuuuuut

    1. Faeyas

      In comic world, time is relative.

      1. Raiser

        And so’s your mother.

        For a…

        …eh, I’m bored, could someone else pick up where I left off?

        1. SonicBlueRanger

          Quater. Wait I messed up my line. Let’s start over.

        2. Blob Marley

          The word you’re searching for here is “gamete.” Your mother is relative for a gamete.

    2. SuziRoo

      I was so waiting for this comment!

    3. begbert2

      I’m reminded of Megatokyo, only they did the time skip first.

      1. Raiser

        HIPSTEER.

        (You are now imagining a bull wearing jamjar glasses and an ascot, smugly looking down his nose at you.)

  22. JA

    What Joyce can’t bring herself to say is…she wants a butt taco.

    1. Blob Marley

      YKINMKBYKIOK

  23. wynne

    Walky’s starting to turn her.

    1. Blob Marley

      He managed to Turn her, but did not roll enough Turning Damage to Destroy her. Joyce must be a powerful lich indeed.

      1. Random832

        > powerful lich

        Maybe not yet, but she could be. 人◕ ‿‿ ◕人

        1. Valdrax

          Something tells me that even benign magical talking animals should approach Joyce with offers of power.

          Though that said, a magical girl show involving a fundamentalist Christian would be such a hilarious culture clash.

        2. begbert2

          “The Power of Christ compels you!”

          “…um, no, boss, you have to say ‘star diamond zap’.”

          “Shut up, cute demon talking kitty cat! I’m doing it the God way!”

        3. Blob Marley

          “The power of inertia impels you!”

          I’m doing it with SCIENCE!

  24. Atcote

    Four days later and Joyce’s horrible taco addiction hits its stride.

  25. Valdrax

    In another continuity, Walky would find Joyce’s last line incredibly romantic.

    1. Henry

      I’m not sure why I found “I just…I just want tacos…” hilarious. But there you go; I did.

  26. CaptainTempest

    Now I want tacos too.

    1. CaptainTempest

      Its a conspiracy, I’ll bet.

      1. Alexander Krizak

        I’m sure Willis is an artist of integrity and would never accept large cash bribes from Taco Bell to use his comics to make people crave tacos.

        No, who am I kidding, he totally did that.

  27. GenericScreenName101

    Maybe Joyce wants to show Dorothy her partial stigmatta

  28. Random Guy

    I want to put Joyce into a “Yuri Zone” t-shirt and drop her off in the middle of Comic Con.

  29. Kirby-oh

    We are excited to have you here in AZ. Don’t stay outside too long, even we avoid it right now.

  30. SmokedToast

    …Damn it Willis, you pick the one time to make the phoenix con that I’m just too fucking poor to catch. : (

  31. ziggy78eog

    Behold, the power of the Butt-tacco t-shirt!

  32. Kernanator

    Walky should get inside the box. It’s soothing.

    1. Jason

      Is Walky a cat? Are you a cat?

      1. Khrene Cleaver

        Cats with condoms on their heads would be a whole new kind of breading.

  33. Karlaof

    🙁 Funny how that works. Damn it Joyce, I want some tacos.
    And from taco bell, at that.

  34. Kafloobop

    She sounds like she’s stoned.
    “I just…I just want tacos”

    1. Barf Ninjason

      Yeah, it’d be awesome if there was a clunky exposition panel where someone goes, “Hey Joyce, remember how you became a pothead atheist lesbian at the coven meeting on Tuesday?”

  35. Mikehatesyou

    Gwyneth Paltrow’s head is in that box.

  36. Roborat

    I am curious about the first panel. Am I missing something here, as I don’t see the connection to the rest of the page. Or is this a shot at all the comments asking what happened to Joyce’s bandage in the previous pages? Also, that cut was pretty deep, shouldn’t there be more than just a small bandaid on it?

    Finally, I look forward to what the taco’s comment leads to.

  37. skies

    Joyce/Dorothy/Walky OT3

    also, “tacos”

    #crackshipsarethebestships

  38. Hotsauce

    Obvious foreshadowing, or just a really good taquería near campus?

  39. SgtNumnum

    Joyce takes everything I like and makes it bad!Nooooooo!

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