Well yeah, the first job is never enough to live on in today’s economy. It’s all a huge mobius double clusterfuck-22. “What do you MEAN I can’t hold up this bank without a reference? How am I supposed to get prior experience for an entry-level felony?”
Nowadays most criminals have a Patrecon to support themselves while they build up their criminal record, but back in those days you stole what you could get.
Nimitrick
Patrecon is an amazing pun and you’re not being given enough credit.
That was the first and until today last reference to it, as near as I can tell, and it took place less than a month after this comic began. I can’t blame you for forgetting.
jeffepp
That tells you how little Walky knows about Catholic [institution].
Some individuals advocate for “person-first” language (e.g. “person who henches”). However, this advice is generally regarded as tedious at best, and actively harmful at worst, in the hench community, and as such is often given out by well-intentioned but overzealous hench allies. In casual conversation, “henchman” can be used as a gender-neutral; “henchperson” can be clunky, but is preferable to its somewhat degrading alternative, “minion”. Terms like “henchwoman” and “henchgirl” are met with mixed reactions; while some appreciate the terms as valid and useful feminine counterparts to “henchman”, others believe them to be unnecessary and patronizing (see: “teacheress”). Holy Puteoli I can’t believe I came up with all that off the top of my head.
(Also, just to ruin the joke: the first third is a reference to the idiotic “people with disabilities” thing that I’m pretty sure hasn’t been a thing for a while, the middle third is self-explanatory, and the last third is the result of my staying up past midnight just to wait for this comic to update even though I started hitting a wall over an hour ago)
Norah
Sadly, the “person with” way of speaking is still a thing, at least with some non-autistic people are talking about autistic people.
Ah. I should have known better than to believe in the ability of self-proclaimed allies to listen to the people they’re self-proclaimed helping.
Regalli
Aaah, the autism community. Where those of us who are actually autistic need a damn hashtag designating ourselves that to distinguish from the parents, and then they tell us we don’t get to speak for autism as a whole because we’re ‘too high-functioning’ because we can communicate at all.
(Meanwhile a lot of us think the functioning labels are more harm than good – in no small part because of parents Like That – and people who would be considered ‘low-functioning’ by Asshole Logic have to go ‘Actually no, if we have to choose one group to be the Spokespeople Of All Autism, we’re choosing the fellow autistics over the parents, you guys sometimes kill your children because you think our existence is so miserable.’)
(None of that is made up. Sadly.)
Regalli
(Obviously though no one opinion ACTUALLY speaks for Autism As A Whole because we’re by definition a broad spectrum of behaviors and have varied and sometimes contradictory needs. This disclaimer shouldn’t be necessary but I’m putting it anyway because people. I think we’re pretty much all in agreement that people should stop using it as a generic insult on the internet, though. And there’s a pretty broad consensus that Autism Speaks fucking sucks.)
Inahc
Makes me kinda glad I wasn’t aware such communities even existed until a few years ago.
Arian
Speaking as the parent of an adult son with autism, wouldn’t the best idea be for both sets of us to advocate for those who aren’t able to advocate for themselves? I mean, we parents have have inside knowledge too, even if not the same set as the people who have the condition.
And I also feel that if only one person / set of people gets to advocate for my son, I’d far rather it was me than anyone else, because I’ve known him all his life, and someone else doesn’t know him (individually) at all.
That said, surely you and we should be regarded as on the same side? 🙁 Do we have to fight over who has the right to try and do the best by the people whose well-being we care about?
Regalli
@ Arian: For specific needs in, say, a school setting, parents can certainly be useful! And there are certainly good parents who I trust with their children’s backs (mine included). The problem is that there is a very specific type of Autism Parent who
1) Makes their child’s autism all about how difficult it is for them. And yeah, it is a really difficult thing, more than you expected when you planned to become a parent… but that’s the lot you’ve got now, and no matter how difficult it is for you, your kid is going through an even tougher time.
2) Thinks the end goal of any treatment is to ‘cure’ the autism or at least make their child appear as neurotypical as possible. This isn’t gonna happen. You can teach coping strategies, you can make your kid as comfortable in their own skin as you can, and that will help them handle life tremendously. But, say, attempts to extinguish harmless stimming are just going to leave your kid with one less means of expression and a lot of trauma. (Obviously harmful ones should be redirected, but stimming can very much be communicative so failure to recognize that means you’re not listening to your kid.)
3) Related to the above, trigger warnings for institutional abuse and ableism: When you’re autistic, it’s not abuse, it’s therapy. Even well-meaning parents can get referred to the Lovaas method (treats children like dogs to be trained, down to withholding food except as reinforcement of behavior) or some school that looked great but turned out to practice something awful. Well-meaning parents realize their children are being abused, remove them from that and get them into therapy. Some parents are not well-meaning.
4) Parents who know what their specific kid needs are great. Parents who present themselves as the Experts On All Things Autistic, Ever are not, especially if they use that platform (such as Autism Speaks) to speak over and deny a platform to other people who are autistic. Up to and including their children. See previous distressing point.
5) And, sadly, there is a very specific type of parent who thinks their child would be better off dead than autistic – I include here anti-vaxxers (a whole other rant for a whole other day) and the ones who actually kill their children for being disabled. We don’t hold sole claim on Disability Day of Mourning, hence its name not being solely ‘Autistic’. But the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network is a major organizer and one of the founders. We have a vigil every year, and people on ASAN’s payroll compile The List of disabled people murdered by their caregivers. It is a very long list. It is an unimaginably sad list.
So obviously, Not All Autism Parents and not under all circumstances. But the parents who believe 1 and 2 are likely to believe 3, and some of them believe 5. Autism Speaks once put out a video where one of its members (and I’m pretty sure a BOARD member) talked about how she once considered driving off a bridge with her autistic child, and it was only the thought of her non-autistic child that stopped her. She said this on camera, with her autistic child in the room. This was published and in some way endorsed by Autism Speaks. You can imagine why this is harmful.
Arian
@Regalli – The link you provided in your third point is spinechilling. I myself don’t have autism, but I have generalised anxiety and depression. And if someone enforced ‘quiet hands’ on me when I was in a stressful situation, all the voluntary and semi-voluntary physical motions I use to reduce my anxiety would probably be replaced by my shrieking like a train whistle. Let alone anyone trying to suppress my son’s similar motions – he can shout much louder than I can. 😛 The public can damn well learn to cope with the noiseless strategies, if they don’t want to hear us as well as just see us. 😛
As for holding an autistic person’s hands against/in a texture that causes them distress – I’m sorry, WHAT? Isn’t that like forcing a person to listen to sounds at a volume loud enough to hurt their ears, while telling them it’s good for them?! What lunatic thought this up??
Regalli
On a non-I hate ableist parent ‘allies’ who aren’t really allies note-
I think the preferred terminology varies still between the more specific disability communities and between various English-speaking countries. I think the UK actually prefers person-first as a rule, though I could be misremembering. Though I’m pretty sure everyone uses, say, blind over ‘person with blindness’ because it’s both a really active community who consider it an integral part of their lives and the person first one is twenty times clunkier than average. Pretty sure it’s the same with the Deaf community for the same general reasons.
Bathymetheus
Actually I was thinking more along the lines of “have you accepted henchperson into your life?”.
Phineas Mason knocks on your door, holding what looks to be a copy of the KJV Bible but is actually a hollow receptacle for smuggled alien tech. “Have you considered letting the high-altitude vacuum seal into your life?”
HeySo
Minion was totally reclaimed though, and was super respectable for a while. Then, y’know, they released the Despicable Me films, and that all went down the drain fast.
Anyway, “person who henches” is still super okay, if you’re one of those classic-form, monologue-obsessed villains. Gotta stick to form, after all.
“Dither not, person who henches, lest the foul putrescence of the lair spread to take root behind thine idling ears. Come thee hence, and speedily ready yon death ray. For, verily, what manner of gloating discourse is to be held to any merit, if it is not given the accompaniment of a slowly advancing murder trap?“
I was going to say “definitely not henchgirl” because I’m kinda annoyed at the whole -man/-girl dichotomy, but then I remembered that Sal was an actual fictional girl when the robbery would have taken place so yeah, henchgirl.
Depends what she means by ‘helped’. Was it entirely someone else planning it and she was along for the ride or did a group of people plan it together for their own reasons and worked together?
The real question is who was she helping during the first robbery?
Also, were they not there during the second robbery or did they simply not get caught/not actively participate?
Most of what we see is from Amber’s memories and it’s very possible she didn’t notice a potential partner in crime due to tunnel vision.
MatthewTheLucky
Plot twist: It’s Malaya, and they’ve been pretending not to know each other to hide their other criminal activities, but Sal still hates Malaya for bailing in the middle of the second job.
Seriously though, didn’t we see Sal on the phone with her co-hench just before things went down?
thejeff
I don’t think so. Unless there’s another flashback I’ve forgotten.
Ethan mentions her pacing alone in the corner. I think that’s her earliest appearance in the scene.
BBCC
Yeah, the only thing I recall from then is him saying to Amber he thinks they’re having the same problem (i.e. he thinks she’s on the edge of or having an anxiety attack).
Yuuuup. Drugs, crimes, witchcraft, vampirism… the fundie set loves hearing people talk about their crazy criminal occultist past until they Found Jesus and Turned Their Life Around.
And if it turns out that (generously) most of these backstories are (INCREDIBLY generously) embellished, well, they’re not just lying for fame and money. They’re lying to GIVE WITNESS TO THE RIGHTEOUS PATH OF THE LORD, which incidentally has fame and money as a side benefit. And anyway it’s not a lie, it’s more of a parable, and Jesus used parables all the time.
jmsr7
Myep. A couple decades ago it was “i used to be a satanist!” Now it’s “I used to be an atheist!” (see: Lee Strobel) Back then their stories weren’t recognizable as what satanists were like and nowadays no atheists would talk like they do – but they DO speak like what christians IMAGINE they sound like!
And if a christian is brave enough to call them out for it because, for example they ~know~ the person never did what they’re claiming then they get shouted down for it. “Stumbling others” i think it’s called.
Keulen
I have yet to hear a story from a fundie who claims they “used to be an atheist” that sounds even remotely like how actual atheists would behave.
Keulen
You’re being way more generous than I would ever be to these sort of fundies. Their stories are ridiculous lies, and if they’d done half of the crazy and illegal shit they claimed to have done before they “found Jesus”, they’d probably be in jail. Guess what fundies: lying for Jesus is still lying.
Its what some groups call their “personal path to finding jesus” like ifyou ever go to a retreat or a church event where people talk about their day to day problems usually the person lead it will give some kind of background on themselves and how they got to find god or whatever. Dramatic stories like that get eaten up
Oh, right okay. I remember some youth group leaders who’s witness testimony was “we had meaningless premarital sex but that was wrong so we found Jesus and got married.”
Thinking about it, the real ur-text is St. Augustine’s Confessions, the first-person account of a debauched sinner who gets religion and then loudly decries his past life.
You remember when Ben Carson made up some crap about how he was a total delinquent when he was younger and tried to stab some guy except it hit his belt buckle, and everyone laughed because the whole thing was barely plausible and existed only to make up some fake backstory to make him look more virtuous in the present?
TG: the good news is the latest storyline looks like it's gearing up to give you exactly what you're asking for GG: whats the bad news? TG: that's also the bad news
Sal is my favourite and Marcie is my second favourite I will take what I can get. This whole storyline is gearing up to be painful, yet delicious, candyland to me.
Are you kidding? “Marcie: Criminal Mastermind” sounds like the premise for the best webcomic in nonexistence!
BBCC
Think about it! Marcie:Criminal Mastermind would explain A) Why Sal was willing to take the fall herself (bffs, she feels responsible, and Marcie’s family would almost certainly be deported in the investigation), B) Why Marcie looks so nervous in a preview panel, C) Why Marcie and Sal have been so ride or die that Marcie’s willing to follow her to Bloomington (I mean, other than the whole ‘learning ASL to keep talking, sticking up for her, trying to help with the ambulance, etc.’
I’m not thinking this is canon (at least not yet) but DUDE. I want this fanfic somewhere.
BBCC
ESPECIALLY if it turns out Marcie’s a criminal mastermind. Dude (pronouns?) that’s fanfic and head canon fuel right there.
150 thoughts on “Street fightin’”
Ana Chronistic
HELPED?
…Sal really IS a sidekick, whoops
newllend(henryvolt)
I was more surprised that she robbed a store not once but twice! Was that mentioned before because I wonder if I just missed that detail.
BBCC
Walky said it when she first met Joyce but its not been brought up since.
Michael Steamweed
She needed more money than the first job netted.
Pablo360
Well yeah, the first job is never enough to live on in today’s economy. It’s all a huge mobius double clusterfuck-22. “What do you MEAN I can’t hold up this bank without a reference? How am I supposed to get prior experience for an entry-level felony?”
Nowadays most criminals have a Patrecon to support themselves while they build up their criminal record, but back in those days you stole what you could get.
Nimitrick
Patrecon is an amazing pun and you’re not being given enough credit.
NelC
[Gives Pablo360 all the credit]
Br44n5m
God-heckin-dangit that was amazing!
Marsh Maryrose
I’d forgotten this until tonight: “I kinda expected her to find Jesus, not leather.”
Pablo360
That was the first and until today last reference to it, as near as I can tell, and it took place less than a month after this comic began. I can’t blame you for forgetting.
jeffepp
That tells you how little Walky knows about Catholic [institution].
cbwroses
Since she helped commit a crime, I think that would count as a henchman.
Or would that be henchwoman?
Henchgirl?
Bathymetheus
Henchperson is acceptable.
Commodore Counterintuitive
Some individuals advocate for “person-first” language (e.g. “person who henches”). However, this advice is generally regarded as tedious at best, and actively harmful at worst, in the hench community, and as such is often given out by well-intentioned but overzealous hench allies. In casual conversation, “henchman” can be used as a gender-neutral; “henchperson” can be clunky, but is preferable to its somewhat degrading alternative, “minion”. Terms like “henchwoman” and “henchgirl” are met with mixed reactions; while some appreciate the terms as valid and useful feminine counterparts to “henchman”, others believe them to be unnecessary and patronizing (see: “teacheress”). Holy Puteoli I can’t believe I came up with all that off the top of my head.
Commodore Counterintuitive
(Also, just to ruin the joke: the first third is a reference to the idiotic “people with disabilities” thing that I’m pretty sure hasn’t been a thing for a while, the middle third is self-explanatory, and the last third is the result of my staying up past midnight just to wait for this comic to update even though I started hitting a wall over an hour ago)
Norah
Sadly, the “person with” way of speaking is still a thing, at least with some non-autistic people are talking about autistic people.
Norah
I meant “when”, not “with”.
Commodore Counterintuitive
Ah. I should have known better than to believe in the ability of self-proclaimed allies to listen to the people they’re self-proclaimed helping.
Regalli
Aaah, the autism community. Where those of us who are actually autistic need a damn hashtag designating ourselves that to distinguish from the parents, and then they tell us we don’t get to speak for autism as a whole because we’re ‘too high-functioning’ because we can communicate at all.
(Meanwhile a lot of us think the functioning labels are more harm than good – in no small part because of parents Like That – and people who would be considered ‘low-functioning’ by Asshole Logic have to go ‘Actually no, if we have to choose one group to be the Spokespeople Of All Autism, we’re choosing the fellow autistics over the parents, you guys sometimes kill your children because you think our existence is so miserable.’)
(None of that is made up. Sadly.)
Regalli
(Obviously though no one opinion ACTUALLY speaks for Autism As A Whole because we’re by definition a broad spectrum of behaviors and have varied and sometimes contradictory needs. This disclaimer shouldn’t be necessary but I’m putting it anyway because people. I think we’re pretty much all in agreement that people should stop using it as a generic insult on the internet, though. And there’s a pretty broad consensus that Autism Speaks fucking sucks.)
Inahc
Makes me kinda glad I wasn’t aware such communities even existed until a few years ago.
Arian
Speaking as the parent of an adult son with autism, wouldn’t the best idea be for both sets of us to advocate for those who aren’t able to advocate for themselves? I mean, we parents have have inside knowledge too, even if not the same set as the people who have the condition.
And I also feel that if only one person / set of people gets to advocate for my son, I’d far rather it was me than anyone else, because I’ve known him all his life, and someone else doesn’t know him (individually) at all.
That said, surely you and we should be regarded as on the same side? 🙁 Do we have to fight over who has the right to try and do the best by the people whose well-being we care about?
Regalli
@ Arian: For specific needs in, say, a school setting, parents can certainly be useful! And there are certainly good parents who I trust with their children’s backs (mine included). The problem is that there is a very specific type of Autism Parent who
1) Makes their child’s autism all about how difficult it is for them. And yeah, it is a really difficult thing, more than you expected when you planned to become a parent… but that’s the lot you’ve got now, and no matter how difficult it is for you, your kid is going through an even tougher time.
2) Thinks the end goal of any treatment is to ‘cure’ the autism or at least make their child appear as neurotypical as possible. This isn’t gonna happen. You can teach coping strategies, you can make your kid as comfortable in their own skin as you can, and that will help them handle life tremendously. But, say, attempts to extinguish harmless stimming are just going to leave your kid with one less means of expression and a lot of trauma. (Obviously harmful ones should be redirected, but stimming can very much be communicative so failure to recognize that means you’re not listening to your kid.)
3) Related to the above, trigger warnings for institutional abuse and ableism: When you’re autistic, it’s not abuse, it’s therapy. Even well-meaning parents can get referred to the Lovaas method (treats children like dogs to be trained, down to withholding food except as reinforcement of behavior) or some school that looked great but turned out to practice something awful. Well-meaning parents realize their children are being abused, remove them from that and get them into therapy. Some parents are not well-meaning.
4) Parents who know what their specific kid needs are great. Parents who present themselves as the Experts On All Things Autistic, Ever are not, especially if they use that platform (such as Autism Speaks) to speak over and deny a platform to other people who are autistic. Up to and including their children. See previous distressing point.
5) And, sadly, there is a very specific type of parent who thinks their child would be better off dead than autistic – I include here anti-vaxxers (a whole other rant for a whole other day) and the ones who actually kill their children for being disabled. We don’t hold sole claim on Disability Day of Mourning, hence its name not being solely ‘Autistic’. But the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network is a major organizer and one of the founders. We have a vigil every year, and people on ASAN’s payroll compile The List of disabled people murdered by their caregivers. It is a very long list. It is an unimaginably sad list.
So obviously, Not All Autism Parents and not under all circumstances. But the parents who believe 1 and 2 are likely to believe 3, and some of them believe 5. Autism Speaks once put out a video where one of its members (and I’m pretty sure a BOARD member) talked about how she once considered driving off a bridge with her autistic child, and it was only the thought of her non-autistic child that stopped her. She said this on camera, with her autistic child in the room. This was published and in some way endorsed by Autism Speaks. You can imagine why this is harmful.
Arian
@Regalli – The link you provided in your third point is spinechilling. I myself don’t have autism, but I have generalised anxiety and depression. And if someone enforced ‘quiet hands’ on me when I was in a stressful situation, all the voluntary and semi-voluntary physical motions I use to reduce my anxiety would probably be replaced by my shrieking like a train whistle. Let alone anyone trying to suppress my son’s similar motions – he can shout much louder than I can. 😛 The public can damn well learn to cope with the noiseless strategies, if they don’t want to hear us as well as just see us. 😛
As for holding an autistic person’s hands against/in a texture that causes them distress – I’m sorry, WHAT? Isn’t that like forcing a person to listen to sounds at a volume loud enough to hurt their ears, while telling them it’s good for them?! What lunatic thought this up??
Regalli
On a non-I hate ableist parent ‘allies’ who aren’t really allies note-
I think the preferred terminology varies still between the more specific disability communities and between various English-speaking countries. I think the UK actually prefers person-first as a rule, though I could be misremembering. Though I’m pretty sure everyone uses, say, blind over ‘person with blindness’ because it’s both a really active community who consider it an integral part of their lives and the person first one is twenty times clunkier than average. Pretty sure it’s the same with the Deaf community for the same general reasons.
Bathymetheus
Actually I was thinking more along the lines of “have you accepted henchperson into your life?”.
/j
Pablo360
Phineas Mason knocks on your door, holding what looks to be a copy of the KJV Bible but is actually a hollow receptacle for smuggled alien tech. “Have you considered letting the high-altitude vacuum seal into your life?”
HeySo
Minion was totally reclaimed though, and was super respectable for a while. Then, y’know, they released the Despicable Me films, and that all went down the drain fast.
Anyway, “person who henches” is still super okay, if you’re one of those classic-form, monologue-obsessed villains. Gotta stick to form, after all.
“Dither not, person who henches, lest the foul putrescence of the lair spread to take root behind thine idling ears. Come thee hence, and speedily ready yon death ray. For, verily, what manner of gloating discourse is to be held to any merit, if it is not given the accompaniment of a slowly advancing murder trap?“
Clif
Hereby stolen. They just don’t write prose like that anymore.
HeySo
You wouldn’t be a good villain if you weren’t up for a bit of theft, after all. 😛
Opus the Poet
Or just nouning the verb hench.
Commodore Counterintuitive
“Hencher”, maybe?
HeySo
Henchling?
Ana Chronistic
Henchjin
Ana Chronistic
Henchbuddy?
3oranges
Have we considered henchworker or hench officer?
Commodore Counterintuitive
I was going to say “definitely not henchgirl” because I’m kinda annoyed at the whole -man/-girl dichotomy, but then I remembered that Sal was an actual fictional girl when the robbery would have taken place so yeah, henchgirl.
BBCC
Depends what she means by ‘helped’. Was it entirely someone else planning it and she was along for the ride or did a group of people plan it together for their own reasons and worked together?
cbwroses
The real question is who was she helping during the first robbery?
Also, were they not there during the second robbery or did they simply not get caught/not actively participate?
Most of what we see is from Amber’s memories and it’s very possible she didn’t notice a potential partner in crime due to tunnel vision.
MatthewTheLucky
Plot twist: It’s Malaya, and they’ve been pretending not to know each other to hide their other criminal activities, but Sal still hates Malaya for bailing in the middle of the second job.
Clif
Seriously though, didn’t we see Sal on the phone with her co-hench just before things went down?
thejeff
I don’t think so. Unless there’s another flashback I’ve forgotten.
Ethan mentions her pacing alone in the corner. I think that’s her earliest appearance in the scene.
BBCC
Yeah, the only thing I recall from then is him saying to Amber he thinks they’re having the same problem (i.e. he thinks she’s on the edge of or having an anxiety attack).
Ivy
Yo what’s a witness testimony
Shiro
I’m assuming it’s like “yeah wow I used to Do Crimes but now I’m better because Jesus”
Doctor_Who
“Hey, I was a totally awesome badass biker chick, but thanks to Jesus I’m boring now.”
“Hmmm, good point, I shall give up religion immediately.”
Bathymetheus
If only it were that easy. IME most believers hold on to their beliefs more grimly than trump supporters.
Bathymetheus
. . . And that’s very grimly indeed.
Geneseepaws
Not aware that religion and bikers are adversarial or exclusive. At least they weren’t in my day. Has it come to that?
insomniac
Yuuuup. Drugs, crimes, witchcraft, vampirism… the fundie set loves hearing people talk about their crazy criminal occultist past until they Found Jesus and Turned Their Life Around.
And if it turns out that (generously) most of these backstories are (INCREDIBLY generously) embellished, well, they’re not just lying for fame and money. They’re lying to GIVE WITNESS TO THE RIGHTEOUS PATH OF THE LORD, which incidentally has fame and money as a side benefit. And anyway it’s not a lie, it’s more of a parable, and Jesus used parables all the time.
jmsr7
Myep. A couple decades ago it was “i used to be a satanist!” Now it’s “I used to be an atheist!” (see: Lee Strobel) Back then their stories weren’t recognizable as what satanists were like and nowadays no atheists would talk like they do – but they DO speak like what christians IMAGINE they sound like!
And if a christian is brave enough to call them out for it because, for example they ~know~ the person never did what they’re claiming then they get shouted down for it. “Stumbling others” i think it’s called.
Keulen
I have yet to hear a story from a fundie who claims they “used to be an atheist” that sounds even remotely like how actual atheists would behave.
Keulen
You’re being way more generous than I would ever be to these sort of fundies. Their stories are ridiculous lies, and if they’d done half of the crazy and illegal shit they claimed to have done before they “found Jesus”, they’d probably be in jail. Guess what fundies: lying for Jesus is still lying.
Stephen Bierce
When true believers walk up to total strangers and share their personal experiences with Finding Jesus(TM).
emithecheme
Its what some groups call their “personal path to finding jesus” like ifyou ever go to a retreat or a church event where people talk about their day to day problems usually the person lead it will give some kind of background on themselves and how they got to find god or whatever. Dramatic stories like that get eaten up
Ivy
Oh, right okay. I remember some youth group leaders who’s witness testimony was “we had meaningless premarital sex but that was wrong so we found Jesus and got married.”
Marsh Maryrose
The ur-text for this is “The Cross and the Switchblade.”
Marsh Maryrose
Thinking about it, the real ur-text is St. Augustine’s Confessions, the first-person account of a debauched sinner who gets religion and then loudly decries his past life.
not someone else
You remember when Ben Carson made up some crap about how he was a total delinquent when he was younger and tried to stab some guy except it hit his belt buckle, and everyone laughed because the whole thing was barely plausible and existed only to make up some fake backstory to make him look more virtuous in the present?
That was him “witnessing”.
tim gueguen
And a particularly shitty way of doing it given the stereotypes about African Americans held by many on his side of the fence.
thejeff
He’s got to play to those stereotypes if he wants to be taken seriously there.
BBCC
Either that or he’s gotta play up the respectability politics BIG TIME.
BBCC
*sidles up* Yes hi hello I would like new info on the robberies thank you
Pablo360
TG: the good news is the latest storyline looks like it's gearing up to give you exactly what you're asking forGG: whats the bad news?TG: that's also the bad newsBBCC
Sal is my favourite and Marcie is my second favourite I will take what I can get. This whole storyline is gearing up to be painful, yet delicious, candyland to me.
Clif
Even if Marcie was the criminal mastermind?
Pablo360
Are you kidding? “Marcie: Criminal Mastermind” sounds like the premise for the best webcomic in nonexistence!
BBCC
Think about it! Marcie:Criminal Mastermind would explain A) Why Sal was willing to take the fall herself (bffs, she feels responsible, and Marcie’s family would almost certainly be deported in the investigation), B) Why Marcie looks so nervous in a preview panel, C) Why Marcie and Sal have been so ride or die that Marcie’s willing to follow her to Bloomington (I mean, other than the whole ‘learning ASL to keep talking, sticking up for her, trying to help with the ambulance, etc.’
I’m not thinking this is canon (at least not yet) but DUDE. I want this fanfic somewhere.
BBCC
ESPECIALLY if it turns out Marcie’s a criminal mastermind. Dude (pronouns?) that’s fanfic and head canon fuel right there.
Shiro
Huh. Did we know about the first one, or am I just blanking?
Also, I am very very tempted to make Joyce’s law-breaking face from yesterday my new grav
BBCC
Walky mentioned it once, but all the focus was on the second because we’ve only seen it from amber’s point of view and she only witnessed that one.
Marsh Maryrose
We knew that the red panel robbery was Sal’s second. We didn’t know it was successful, or that she wasn’t alone in the first, until tonight.
Marsh Maryrose
Just had a moment of “doh!”: who did she help in the first robbery?
I’m guessing there’s a flashback panel somewhere in this storyline that will reveal the answer. (Or muddle it. Such is the Way of the Willis).