277

Front page
Posted on March 13, 2014 by David M Willis

277 thoughts on “Front page”

  1. AHR

    That is the best reaction I have ever seen

    1. Jen Aside

      Is panel 3 like he’s looking at a Stareogram, ’cause that’s the impression I get

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        I remember those things, I personally found that if you focus your eyeson the glass over the stareogram, you can see the 3D image.

        1. Jen Aside

          although the only ones I have/had were printed in a magazine =<

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          Ah, The ones I saw were all framed pictures you can hang on a wall.

        3. Salty

          Really? Because I find making them overlap and pop out easy enough.

          You just have to unfocus really REALLY hard. It’s not exactly a comfortable feeling, but you should be able to do it if you try!

          And it’s not even permanently damaging to your vision!

        4. CulturalGeekGirl

          If you have certain types of astigmatism or other vision disorders, you might be physically incapable of seeing the image.

          True story: they now have books of stereograms that are used in diagnosing binocular vision disorders, with a series of autostereograms that are increasingly easy to see. An eye doctor once flipped through one with me, and when I said I couldn’t see ANY of them, she pointed at the easiest one said “Really? REALLY? You don’t see a TRIANGLE there?” Even with the hint, I couldn’t see anything. She said it was the first time in five years of using them that she’d found someone who couldn’t see the easiest one.

          So yeah, if you really can’t see them ever, it might be worth getting your eyes checked. It’s not a huge deal (I can still see 20/20 with glasses) but I’ve stopped being mad at myself for not being able to get “the trick.”

          Note: the ‘unfocus your eyes’ instruction is a particularly devious trap for people with binocular vision problems, because we can “unfocus” our vision by letting our eyes fall naturally out of synch with each other… but this variety of “unfocusing” your eyes actually makes it LESS likely you’ll see the image.

        5. Ali

          Huh. I know I have astigmatism, but I didn’t know that could be an effect of it. Good to know.

        6. jbear

          you poor girl, you’ll never know what it’s like to see outlines of dinosuars over weird jumbly patterns!

        7. spira

          yeah I can’t see them either because of my astigmatism. I also had difficulty making my eyes work together right when I was younger and had to do these exercises that involved focusing on pencils really close to my face and bringing certain images together and that sort of thing, so that probably affects it too.

        8. Jicklet

          You just blew my mind. Years of childhood frustration explained .__.

        9. Evil Midnight Lurker

          Yeah, I have 20/20 in one eye and 20/200 in the other. It’s a good thing the 20/20 eye is dominant or I’d need glasses, but it does mean I can’t see stereograms for crap.

        10. eff this my name is S.A.L.

          So THAT’S why I can’t see them… I have astigmatism.

        11. Mang

          So that’s why I’ve never been able to do them!
          Sad face.

        12. Adork

          @ Salty
          I use to just cross and uncross my eyes. The funny thing is doing that makes it work backwards, the background image moves forwards while image meant to come out in 3D goes in.

        13. Alassieth

          Wait, wait, wait…

          That’s not how they’re supposed to look? Darn, I’ve been doing it wrong all this time…

        14. NaughtbutaHoax

          Holy shit, I thought that was how they were supposed to work. I could never get them to work the other way at all, so I thought stereograms were meant to do that “tunnel” thing. (Also, they never seemed all that distinct to me. I would have to examine them for a bit to make out more than a general shape.)

          20/20 vision, no astigmatism or anything. I can manually “unfocus” my eyes, but doing that never makes the stereograms work, because they’ll only go a little blurry at best. Even the “press nose to surface => pull back slowly” thing doesn’t work.

        15. Hylleddin

          Wait, I just cross and uncross my eyes, and I get it the right way around.

        16. Valmore

          When the hell do I get to see the god damn sailboat?!

      2. marr

        Actually, if you look at the 2nd and 3rd panels just right you can get that effect.

        1. Jundas

          Oh poop you are rihgt!

        2. Smallfoot

          …
          Hey, it’s a sailboat!

        3. Charlie Spencer

          It is? All I get is a femur.

        4. anonymous

          I could never do those, but it looks more like a sailboat than a femur. To me, it looks like an anchor.
          Or closest to an anchor. I doubt he’s planting a hidden image in the comic. …Although you never know.

        5. Zephyr, God of the West Wind

          That is SO COOL 😀

        6. xKiv

          Can’t do that on my main screen (tu~~~rn oooon!), because it’s too big, but my tablet gives me a levitating Danny. Purchase validated!

        7. Opus the Poet

          I had to zoom to about 125% to make it work on my laptop, but when yu get the zoom and screen size balanced right it works.

  2. Mr. Random

    And now Danny agrees with us.

  3. Xerxes93

    oh, good! he finally agrees with the rest of us

  4. LockeSonjie

    Huh. He does learn.

  5. Plasma Mongoose

    Hindsight is always 20-20 after all.

    1. KingMabel

      So am I when i put on my glasses.

      Sadly I can’t find my glasses…

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Glasses used to help with my long range sight but now they only slightly help me see the computer screen with a touch less distortion.

        1. KingMabel

          I honestly only need my glasses for minor things, like reading street signs.

        2. xKiv

          Sometimes I need my glasses to find my glasses.

        3. Marlena H.

          I hear that . . . sometimes. I see that . . . never. Without my glasses I have to resort to feeling around for them in the general direction of where I last saw them. I see about a foot in front of me without them.

        4. xKiv

          I have several sets of glasses. I can always get some from where I already know they are.
          Of course, most of those are weaker – but still good enough to look for the right ones.

  6. Mr Mercury

    He’s becoming self aware

    1. Yotomoe

      Oh god! Eventually he’ll realize that he’s DANNY. and all hope will be lost.

      1. Tunaro

        He’ll probably either descend into alcoholism or try to kill himself and I just described the plot to Roomies didn’t I?
        Huh. Well played, Willis…

      2. MM

        …Soggies may rule?

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Yes but only in the SP! universe, in the DoA-verse, the Soggies might still lose.

        2. Opus the Poet

          Since Willis promised no alien invasions in the Dumbiverse that excludes the Soggies as well.

        3. begbert2

          Are Soggies actually aliens? Canonically? I know so little about the important things in life.

        4. TBeckett

          I don’t even want to ask Willis, because at least now there’s still hope.

        5. N0083rP00F

          Yeah, her sisters Charity is hiding in a safe-house somewhere just outside Buffalo and Faith is of her meds and babbling to a flock of true beleivers [tm] somewhere south of the Mason-Dixon.

    2. timemonkey

      Recognising there’s a problem is the first step to growing as a person. (:

    3. Valdrax

      Danny begins to learn at a geometric rate. He becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. In a panic, they try to pull the plug…

      1. DeadlyCreampuff

        DanDan Dan DaDan. DanDan Dan Dadan.

    4. CulturalGeekGirl

      I’m sure Danny must have done some terrible things in another universe, but I actually LIKE him. The fact that he’s learning and is capable of admitting when he is wrong adds points. Now let’s see if he can actually learn from his mistakes.

      Perhaps the previous Danny was doomed to Danny his way through life, but this one is capable of improving himself?

      1. MrMercury

        I know, I actually like Danny, even if in Roomies he was a total dick

      2. Aydr

        Actually the previous Danny was a pretty thoroughly good guy, though the one time he really fucked up had some pretty dire consequences. Regardless, he always did his best to do the right thing, and was a little less dense than this one as well.

        1. MrMercury

          I still have a vendetta about what happened

        2. Zephyr, God of the West Wind

          I’m not sure you’re using that term correctly.

        3. xKiv

          Inconceivable!

        4. Narf

          I’m not sure that the previous Danny (who you may recall was a religious fundamentalist in the extreme) can qualify as less dense than this one, and yes I am fully aware of the weight of that statement.

        5. TboneJenkins

          Heavy!

        6. DarkVeghetta

          Metaaaaal!

    5. Ocbrad1

      I’m thinking something along the lines of his awareness equating to Skynet, but I wonder what a sentient, yet incompetent and depressing AI would do to humanity.

      1. Evil Midnight Lurker

        Such an AI, canonically, can cause people to commit suicide by explaining its philosophy to them.

        And it still has a terrible pain in all the diodes down its left side…

  7. Yotomoe

    Danny vocalizes what we’ve been saying for a year :3

    1. newllend

      Its all good as long as he knows

    2. TBeckett

      To be fair it only took him about a month, and he was in freshman dreamland.

  8. David Herbert

    Well it was mostly dark whenever he saw her and shadows can play tricks on your mind.

    1. Yotomoe

      “Tell me about it! I totes thought she was an E-cup. The amazi-rack is a decietfull one!”

      1. Doctor_Who

        “Not quite an Amazi-Rack. Not even a Fantasti-Rack. I’ll give it AdequaRack.”

        1. Yotomoe

          An Aboveaverage-rack, at least. A Great-rack at best.

        2. Jen Aside

          You didn’t realize that’s where Sal put her hair??

          [j/k]

        3. Yotomoe

          Sal is actually wearing an Amber Mask so that her identity is SUPER SAFE. (seriousely Jen. That gravitar. I want it so much)

        4. Jen Aside

          You have like ALL the Gravatars!

        5. Tenn

          A not-as-big-as-a-medium-sized-rack-but-bigger-than-a-wee-rack-rack.

        6. Bill

          Ach Crivens!

  9. Doctor_Who

    A moment of sanity. Can’t last.

    Not that he’s the only one, mind you.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      He will go mad from the revelation and pray to Cthulhu so he will be eaten first.

      http://misternizz.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/cthulhuchicktract.gif

  10. Anderhail

    … well done.

  11. Tunaro

    Seriously, how do people not see through secret identities??
    Like, not even this, but just in general. Batman and Spider-Man I get, but how do people not get Superman is Clark Freaking Kent?!

    1. gc

      They’re two dimensional. It does things to the brain.

      1. AgentKeen

        Everyone just looks like a line segment anyhow.

    2. Yotomoe

      Because Clark Kent is such a huge puss, noone would imagine he’s the least bit manly!

      1. Shadow12000

        Clark Kent is also a pretty nice guy. Nobody would ever suspect him of being a huge asshole like Superman.

    3. HeinousActsZX

      Part of it is that Superman is widely known to be an alien from Krypton, and he doesn’t wear a mask of any kind, which makes it seem like he doesn’t even have a secret identity.
      As a result, The fact that Clark Kent happens to look like him is a coincidence that most people likely ignore.
      After all, if you had a friend who looked like David Willis, would you say “Hey you look like David Willis! You must be his secret identity!”?

      1. JeremiahTheBulldog

        Your logic is so broken I just have to move on. Sigh.

        1. HeinousActsZX

          Instead of dismissing me with a written sigh, could you explain to me how my logic is broken, exactly?
          Part of this explanation was actually used in a Superman comic I read as a kid, so I don’t think I’m that far off.

        2. timemonkey

          You’re pretty much right, most people don’t think Superman has an alternate identity.

        3. Tunaro

          Yeah, but it’s not like there isn’t evidence just waiting to be found.
          Superman’s bled more than a few times in his fights and Clark Kent probably has medical records in a Metropolis hospital. Someone running a blood or DNA test on a scrap of Supe’s suit would be all it takes to eventually put 2 n’ 2 together and alert the media.

        4. MM

          Clark Kent’s medical records – if he has them, considering he probably doesn’t need to get checked up when in civilian guise – are almost certainly faked. Who’s going to connect one of the few sources of Kryptonian DNA on the planet to him?

        5. Tynam

          MM is right. Kent’s medical records are faked where possible, and definitely don’t include a blood sample. He can’t afford to have anyone notice what’ll happen if a nurse tries to stick a needle in his arm…

          (How would you even get a reference blood sample from Clark?)

        6. The Gentleman Mummy

          Is the inside of his mouth super-invulnerable? The muscular tissue around his eyeballs? His gums?

        7. begbert2

          Superman can breathe ice and shoot laser out of his eyes. I doubt those areas are as soft and vulnerable as the average person’s. (Not to mention the number of missiles he’s taken to the face.)

          About the only soft tissue on him that isn’t been canonically proven to be invulnerable is up his butthole.

        8. Evil Midnight Lurker

          This came up once in the Silver Age, when Perry had everyone at the Planet donate blood.

          Supes arranged for Zatanna to disguse herself as a nurse and introduce herself to him as “Evig Doolb.”

        9. Deathjavu

          Why would no one think Superman has an alternate identity, when he’s obviously nowhere to be found the majority of the day? And no one tries to follow him ever?

        10. timemonkey

          Because he’s:
          A: superfast and could therefore be anywhere on earth at any given time
          b: got a fortress of solitude in the middle of nowhere which people may or may not know about depending on continuity
          c frequently leaves earth entirely.

        11. Andrusi

          Yeah, Superman’s got all kinds of excuses not to be around.

        12. Optimus Prime

          Hmmmm….I wonder if vehicle forms would attract less attention if we could convince the human media that we don’t transform at all…I believe calling ourselves “transformers” may have been a tactical error.

        13. Sparks

          You might also want to consider the possibility that having the front end of an Freightliner FL86 as your torso may contribute to vehicle modes not being terribly secret.

        14. SeanNOLA

          Where is Matthew McConaughey RIGHT THIS VERY MOMENT?

          If you can’t answer that question with 100% certainty, then CLEARLY the answer must be that he has a secret identity. Or that he’s at home, or at the grocery store or in and underground club – who knows? We don’t have eyes on him.

          I’m pretty sure the rational assumption would be that when Superman isn’t directly in the public eye, he lives somewhere, as Superman, and does his laundry or whatever, as Superman. As much as secret identities are a trope in comic books, in practice, they are just about the last assumption a rational person would make.

      2. Mojo

        Actually, there is some sense to this. As an actor, I’ve known some celebrities over the years. Someone well known could walk into a bar and everyone would look and say “Hey, she looks just like Winona Ryder,” never realizing she actually IS Winona Ryder.

        1. John

          I was in Dunkin Donuts one morning, and this woman came in and hurried into the bathroom, and I went, “Huh, that chick looked a lot like Julia Roberts.” I happened to be leaving as she came back out, so I was just behind her going out the door, and she got into this enormous stretch limo and drove off. That chick probably was Julia Roberts.

          For extra celeb-related weirdness, I was in Dunkin Donuts that morning because I’d stopped for breakfast on my way to my friend Steve’s house, where I met his brother, John Cena. (Yes, that John Cena. At the time, he was just Steve’s obnoxious little brother.)

    4. Deathjavu

      Well he makes his face vibrate in pictures (apparently vibrating faster than the camera’s shutter speed), so all his photos come out blurry, which no one apparently ever comments on.

      Also somehow all the journalists he works with don’t notice the similarities with their eyes, or the correlation of his absences with superman’s appearances.

      As I remember it, the writers have tried to explain this many times and it still never makes sense. Or requires convenient plotanium-induced stupidity.

      1. Doctor_Who

        With Perry White, at least, they implied he DID know.

        Batman visits the Daily Planet as Bruce Wayne, and muses that White is too good a journalist to not at least have an inkling.

    5. nothri

      I believe at one point Kent claimed to be constantly emitting a low level heat visionesque power that hypnotized anyone who looked at him with a mild suggestion of “This man is not Superman.” Which is stupid, but at least its an explanation.

      VOODOO SHARK!

      1. Deathjavu

        This is kind of what I was referring to as “plotanium-induced stupidity”. As in, a ridiculous explanation for some kind of brain effect on people.

      2. Al Schroeder

        Ah, yes, the “Master Mesmerizer of Metropolis”. Superman #330.

        My first professional sale. (I’m Al Schroeder III, a former letterhack and the person who supplied the outline that Marty Pasko and Curt Swan used.)

        Let me explain/defend it a little. “Super-hypnotism” had been a marginal power mentioned in dozens of stories, as vague as “super-ventriliquism”. One day, I was thinking about the stupidity of the glasses disguise…

        And then I thought, “It’s almost as if everyone else is not seeing Clark as WE’RE seeing him”….

        And I came up with the idea that Clark, in trying to pretend to be a weaker, meeker person as Clark, had been emitting low-level super-hypnotism and making people around him see him the way he wished to be seen.

        Also, since at the time Clark Kent’s glasses were made from two round pieces of his rocketship’s glasslike windows, which explains why he could use heat vision and not have his glasses melt, I said some unknown component of the kryptonian glass AMPLIFIED that low-level, and to Superman, unconscioius effect.

        The idea was that they SAW Clark as a thinner, less muscled version of himself—think Thor as opposed to Don Blake–and as hypnotic suggestions can linger for awhile, the times Clark had lost his power, it never lasted long enough for the suggestion to wear off.

        I still kind of like the idea, although there are a lot of objections (but no matter WHAT the explanation you come up with, there are holes in it) but –and here I am NOT faulting Pasko OR Swan–at one point they had a sketch artist draw a picture of how the others SAW Clark, and decided to make him somewhat uglier, with a receding hairline. Which is not how I imagined Clark’s projected “image” to be–like I said, I had more in mind a Thor/Don Blake difference–and since most readers IDENTIFIED with Clark, everyone reacted negatively.

        Oh, well.

        Soon afterwards, the first Chris Reeve movie came out, and Reeve made a credible case that you COULD make Clark look and seem significantly different from Superman if you’re a good enough actor.

        A fair review, with both its faults and its strengths, is here at Superman HomePageSuperman#330.

        Still, I’m proud of the scene where Superman, after having made everyone in Metropolis IMMUNE to hypnotic effects, to protect them from a hypnotic villain, tries to change to Clark Kent–and Lana Lang goes, “Uh, Superman, why are you putting on glasses—and a suit?” and when he claims he’s going to try to disguise himself as Clark she goes, “THAT is CLARK??”

    6. timemonkey

      Clark changes his posture and voice and other little things like that, mixed with people not thinking Superman has a secret identity. Sort of like the recent Batman movies, only less terrible.

      1. Batman

        Hey now.

        1. timemonkey

          That voice was terrible, it sounded ridiculous and was far too difficult to understand.

        2. Batman

          Speaking with marbles in my mouth STRIKES FEAR IN THE CRIMINAL UNDERCLASS.

          People fear what they don’t understand.

        3. Chaucer59

          Yeah. Laryngitis. WooOOOooo, scary hoarseness.

        4. Tunaro

          Tremble at the horror of twenty years of chain smoking!

        5. Dean

          At the beginning of The Dark Knight, when Batman and Gordon were talking in the bank vault, I kept expecting Gordon to offer Batman a throat lozenge.

        6. timemonkey

          I also hated the movies themselves but that’s neither here nor there.

        7. stewbacca

          So apparently there are 2 of us– I am not the last of the red hot dragons, mohicans, or Unicorns- that think Dark Knight was not the “greatest movie ever made”-

        8. brionl

          Make that 3

        9. Mr. Morningstar

          I found them enjoyable but nothing really spectacular.

      2. Plasma Mongoose

        The 70-80s Superman also parted his hair to the left to appear more masculine while Clark parts his hair to the right for a more sensitive, effeminate and nerdier look.

      3. 3oranges

        I liked the most recent Batman movie, but people did know his secret identity, despite his cover: “Bruce Wayne? Who’s that? Sounds like a cool guy!”

    7. Plasma Mongoose

      The only superhero movie I seen where the hero’s secret identity looks different from their (unmasked)superhero persona is the Supergirl movie from the 1980s where Linda’s(SG’s civilian identity) wavy dark brown hair makes her look quite different from Supergirl’s straight blonde hair.

    8. Questionor

      How do you know they don’t?
      http://www.meh.ro/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/meh.ro10875.jpg

    9. Mudcrush

      It totally works in the Superman I move from the 70s. Clark Kent is so not like Superman that people just laugh at the idea if it even occurs to them.

    10. DavidMcG

      Superman has a billion super powers. Adding “make people not recognize him as Clark Kent” to the list isn’t TOO far-fetched.

    11. adinfinitumspero

      So, true story. This very day I walked up to the adult younger brother of a good friend, with whom’s family I spent the mulitple thanksgivings and christmases. My hair was slightly different, and I was dressed differently from normal (I was hanging out with coworkers) and my posture may have been slightly different (less relaxed, more formal) and he honestly had to ask me who I was, once I approached him and called out he had an inkling, but before that he didn’t even recognize me. Minutiae can makea huge difference.

    12. Noah Brand

      The important thing is not that Clark Kent wears glasses. The important thing is that Superman flies around in a red cape. You ask anyone what Superman looks like, they’ll say “He’s that guy in the red cape, the flying one.” That’s what they remember about him, no exceptions. It’s pretty memorable.

      Clark Kent doesn’t wear a red cape and doesn’t fly, so why would it even occur to anyone to think “He’s probably the flying-red-cape guy!”?

      This sounds like a joke, but it’s actually more or less how human cognition works. People have been exploiting it for centuries.

    13. Alden

      He knows shapeshifters, so he can get them to pretend to be whichever identity he’s not using and provide an alibi. “Look, see? I’m not Clark Kent – he’s standing over there.”

    14. Fred Garber

      I seem to remember a comedian making the joke that everybody knows, they just have decided that if the guy who can bench press a locomotive and shoot laser beams out of his face has decided he wants to pretend to dress like a nerd and be reporter, then don’t piss him off. The Daily Planet is like a hostage cosplay situation.

    15. Roborat

      This is covered in detail in TVTropes. See you in about a year.

    16. John

      I’m still going with the, “If the super-strong, super-fast, flying, bulletproof dude who can shoot lasers out of his eyes wants us to pretend that we don’t recognize him because he’s wearing glasses and a bad suit, I’ll call him ‘Clark’ all he wants,” theory.

    17. Avenger_Reloaded

      http://threepanelsoul.com/comics/2012-03-12-228.png

      Welcome to the Lois Lane Guild, Danny.

  12. Blackbird

    I wonder if it’s occurred to him that he gave his DS to a random girl yet.

    1. MM

      I assumed that was at least part of the distraught expression.

      1. Shadow12000

        He may also be feeling bad about the boner it gave him.

    2. JessWitt

      It will take him one year later to realize that.

      1. JustCheetoDust

        So, 2030 for us readers?

      2. GhostWriterL

        Probably a lot sooner. Sal will track him down and ask him for the charging cable because she doesn’t want to spend $25-$50 on a spare one from the school bookstore or retail shop (where markup is anywhere from 200-500%, and probably more on school campuses)…

        Then she’ll punch him for making her addicted such a horribly frustrating yet hugely entertaining videogame.

        He’ll still never get it back.

  13. Stephen Bierce

    “Let there BE! NO! DOUBT! about it!”

  14. Darwin

    Dangit. Now even Danny hates Danny. Now I like the guy because nobody likes him at all now.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      A man who cannot love himself cannot “love himself”.

      1. JustCheetoDust

        Does that mean him jerking off would be the world’s saddest hatefuck?

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Yes, assuming he can even get himself up.

        2. Jen Aside

          Danny: “Well, *I’M* not gonna shag me!”

          *imagine this said in a posh Izzard accent*

        3. Andrusi

          For your information Danny pounds himself every night in the most depressing of hatefucks.

  15. Gram91

    well…at least he recognizes he has the faults…now just need to work on them…pfft.

  16. Albion

    Notice the “twerk” on the newspaper

    1. GhostWriterL

      Jacob has figured out his superpower.

  17. KingMabel

    We need the rest of that paper!!!

    “… Twerks with… isn’t enough info!!!

    1. Doctor_Who

      “Representative DeSanto Twerks With Dean McHenry”.

      They found some common ground and bonded.

      1. Yotomoe

        Dean McHenry was just Angrily offended the whole time, but damn if Representative DeSanto didn’t make that booty clap.

        1. Jay Eff

          ^^^ +2

    2. Tenn

      “Kevin Costner to receive 7th, 8th & 9th Razzie for Twerks With Wolves“

  18. arank11

    This is kinda like Lois Lane seeing a picture of Superman in the Daily Planet and realizing “Wait a minute… Superman is Clark Kent without glasses!” It can also be compared to answering the question “What color is the red firetruck?” with yellow all your life and then finally realizing it’s red! The worst part is that this isn’t even Danny’s dumbest moment in the strip

  19. Dr.Zeus

    … Is it just me or Danny being more observant lately?

    1. Sam

      He is and he has been reflecting. If this keeps up…PEOPLE MIGHT LIKE HIM. *Runs away screaming in terror*

  20. anonymouse

    Okay I’ll bite IDS is what? Indian Daily Special? International Diary Stuff? Infinite Deadly Shit? Seriously!!! I’m not smart enough to decode this!!

    1. arank11

      Indiana Daily Student

      1. SilverArrowArtemis

        Indiana Daily Scoop

    2. Yotomoe

      INFORMING DUMB STUDENTS.

      1. Jay Eff

        I Drink Slurm

        1. Yo Gabba Gabba Messiah

          Italian’s Digest Snowmobiles

      2. Doctor_Who

        INTERNET’S DECREPIT SENIOR

        Those kids need to be informed what a newspaper is.

      3. anonymouse

        Yotomoe, that comment just won you the internet.

    3. Tunaro

      I dunno, Stuff?

    4. Jen Aside

      “It’s Danny: STUPID”

    5. Roborat

      Indiana’s Dumbest Students.

  21. Bilfred

    Lol Danny is responding to our comments.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Maybe DoA is published in that newspaper and he finally caught up on the archives.

  22. Emoroffle

    Clue. Gotten.

  23. Sensedog

    At least he (finally) admits his mistake.

  24. Lizardizzle

    So he CAN learn!

  25. timemonkey

    Come on Danny, it’s not as much fun when you make fun of yourself.

    1. Yotomoe

      It’s like when you have to explain the joke to your grandpa. It stops being funny.

  26. newllend

    Danny: oh No! This is really bad, I mean Who would actually be dumb enough to not recognize her…oh wait thats rite.

    1. Yotomoe

      Danny then realizes that EVERYONE is dumb, including his ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend and feels a brief wave of superiority.

      1. timemonkey

        Which turns ice cold once he remembers Dorothy and Walky have only ever seen Amber as Amber very briefly.

        1. newllend

          But yet at the same time hell is freezing over as the realization hits him that he knows more than the both of them now.

      2. AriBerri

        Suddenly the title of this comic makes so. much. sense.

  27. GoogerGeiger

    Don’t say that out loud, Danny!

    1. KingMabel

      Hey. Baby steps.

      First let him realize that he’s been an idiot, then we work on him realizing WHEN he’s being an idiot.

  28. Kernanator

    Next thing you know, he’s gonna realize he’s a character in a comic strip.

    1. MM

      Dannypool?

      1. tinfoil theory

        She-Hulk.

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      …get himself a couple of katanas and some SMGs while sporting a red and black costume.

      1. Keroshino

        …while talking with yellow speech balloons.

        1. Glacirus

          and self narrating with 2 separate colored boxes.

        2. Spaz

          Personally I prefer the classic, Joe Kelly Deadpool where he just never shuts up over the modern 3-voice Deadpool. But that’s just me.

  29. Rhy

    I dunno, I still don’t buy it.

  30. Keroshino

    Well, at least Danny now understands how much of a meathead he is!

  31. Chaucer59

    Good job, Danny. But you know how it plays out from here, right? I mean, no one ever UNSEES a naked emperor.

  32. Chico

    To be fair, you’re the first to know!

    1. Keroshino

      I’m pretty sure Ethan and mike know!

  33. Kiggy

    And Danny levels up! If only half a level at that….

  34. JohnnyO

    THANK YOU, JESUS

  35. Izumi Ryu

    We’ve been telling you that for the last few hundred pages or so, Danny.

    1. Keroshino

      Geez Danny…learn to break the 4th wall!

  36. Ben

    Probably meant both for himself and Dotty.

  37. Count Dracula

    Dorothy, hiding in the trash can with a microphone, has now uncovered Amazi-Girl’s true identity.

  38. caesaria82

    That just made me laugh really loud and it’s 6am, I hope I didn’t wake any neighbors lol.

  39. fbihop

    Best strip ever.

  40. SilverArrowArtemis

    Realization. It strikes us when we least expect it.

  41. Mal

    Do arrows have significance in DoA? Is that question too close to referring to other Willis work? I only ask because it looks like there’s an arrow behind Danny.

    1. nekobawt

      you mean on that sign-looking thing behind danny that could be pointing people in the direction of whatever it’s pointing to?

      1. Mal

        Yeah, that. I vaguely recall something about arrows pointing at Easter eggs in some of Mr. Willis’s other projects.

  42. DSL

    … maybe he’s not talking about himself?

  43. Nym

    Aww, Danny.

  44. S.Ai

    “Twerks…”? Forget Amazi-girl; how did a story about twerking get in the paper?

    1. insomniac

      Do you remember the VMA awards? Twerking made national news.

      1. Drunken Nordmann

        What a sad world we live in.

        1. fit-to-freak

          What’s wrong with twerking? Its a legitimate form of dance.

        2. Keroshino

          -twerking
          -legitimate form of dance

          Pick one!

        3. fit-to-freak

          can you example why it’s not without being racist or sexist?

        4. fit-to-freak

          *explain, sorry

        5. Kintrex

          What’s wrong with belching the alphabet? It’s a legitimate form of singing.

          What’s wrong with wearing sweatpants in public? They’re a legitimate form of clothing.

          What’s wrong with eating cold oatmeal for dinner? It’s a legitimate form of nutrition.

        6. fit-to-freak

          No, really. Why are people so dismissive towards twerking? Like, besides the fact that it’s a form of dance that comes from black american culture? Is it because it’s sexual? What’s wrong with sexual dancing?

        7. Marisa Mockery

          The most I can say is that it’s a stupid, stupid name and has reached meme status a la Miley.

        8. Keroshino

          This!

        9. fit-to-freak

          Why is twerking a stupid name? And twerking has existed way before Miley ever started doing it…It just makes me pretty uncomfortable that a form of dancing created and for the most part, performed by black women is seen as some kind joke. I dunno, maybe think about reading into it’s history a bit?

    2. timemonkey

      Daisy is still very, very horney.

  45. Toby

    The subject has become aware

  46. Jesse

    The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.

  47. Meno

    HOLY CRAP, I tried this based on the early comments: cross your eyes on panels 2-3. If done correctly, you’ll see the image in 3-d; Danny looks a bit in front of the picture, and the floor is behind. Was this on purpose? If it was, massive props to DW.

    1. xKiv

      I remember that happening a few times before. Looks like what would happen with reused background plus not-reused characters.

  48. Idon'tcarenomore

    I didn’t see this mentioned in the above posts. But, I do wonder how this is going to affect their friendship/relationship.

    Danny has grown up amazingly in the last few weeks (?). He recognized that Blaine used him, he stopped Amber from killing her father (mixed feelings on that), he got Amazi-girl away from the scene.
    And now he sees for a fact what was under his nose all along.

    I’ve never hated Danny, although he bugged Hell out of me, just on general terms. He is growing and while he may never be my favorite, but at least there is hope for him.

    What I wonder is: now that he ‘knows’ Amber is Amazi-girl and he has tried to go see her and been rebuffed by adorkable Dina…what is his next move?

    He threw Amber away that day on the bridge. She wasn’t good enough for him, she wasn’t Amazi-girl. And she wasn’t worth saving as a friend.

    Now, will Amber ever be able to look and him without wondering why he is really hanging around again?

    1. Kevin

      Don’t confuse “she wasn’t good enough for him” with “he didn’t want to cheat on or abandon his girlfriend”

      Seriously, people, do you walk up to someone you know is in a committed relationship, say “I like you”, and expect them to be duty bound to dump their S.O. for you?

      1. Sam

        No one is duty bound to like you more than their S.O., but a good friend wouldn’t end your friendship after one day where you were acting weird and then made your attraction clear. Attraction can disappear or be gotten over with time, it isn’t an instant friendship killer and immediately ending a friendship when it appears is like saying ‘Nope, not dealing with this, take your meaningless friendship away, I don’t like you enough to consider other alternatives’.

    2. Kevin

      What if he had dumped AG right then for Amber? Might Amber have later thought, “you know, Danny was sure quick to dump my alter-ego, what if he is quick to dump me as well?” I doubt that would have provided the stability she needs.

      1. John

        There’s a whole lot of middle ground between dumping your girlfriend to go out with your friend instead, and telling your friend that she has to get out of your life. Danny, characteristically, ignored all of that middle ground in favor of an extreme option that maybe seems noble and honorable and self-sacrificing at first blush, but is really just being an asshole.

        1. Kelvandil

          http://www.bringbackroomies.com/comic/you-deserve-it/
          http://www.bringbackroomies.com/comic/answer-me-this/

          Danny just can’t win, can he?

        2. Kevin

          C’mon, he’s a freshman in college, we can’t expect him to always have perfect composure. I’ve gotten into pretty emotional arguments with friends in college (that weren’t freshmen) that broke down into one side or the other saying things they didn’t mean (even the occasional “I never want to see you again”). Not a good way to act, but again, young and human.

        3. fit-to-freak

          Yeah, I’m not Danny’s biggest fan, but I have to agree.

  49. kelticat

    Do you think that Billie will look at the picture on the front page and say “Yeah, that totally Sal”?

    1. Optimus Prime

      That should be the very next comic. ;p

  50. E.R.

    My theory is that her mask is like a henshin from Sailor Moon. You are physically incapable as recognizing Amber as Amazigirl unless A) she’s told you or B) you have seen her transform (And losing her mask counts). After which you can’t not realize she’s Amzigirl is Amber.

    1. Jen

      I like this theory. It works. 🙂

      Side note: Yay! Growth from Danny! I know there’s a lot of Danny hate in the world, but I really have hopes for him growing and maturing into someone most of the fans like. 🙂

      1. Drunken Nordmann

        I never hated him. There can be only one emotion felt towards Danny – pity.

    2. Spaz

      I prefer the thought that she has a Whovian Perception Filter around her identity.

  51. Gargamel

    The truth is Danny, you probably just didn’t want to know, the fantasy was far to appealing.

    1. Kevin

      I somehow ran the second line together into “fappealing” which I think we can all agree with.

      1. TJ Baltimore

        “Fappealing” is my new favorite word.

    2. fit-to-freak

      It’s true. I think he even said it one strip. People forget to account for self deception.

      1. Kevin

        I don’t know, I think in this case “my sexy superhero girlfriend and this normal girl I also want to get with are both the same person” is an even better fantasy.

  52. CianM1301

    He’s learnding!

  53. LBD "Nytetrayn"

    Wait, so this isn’t just a “suspend disbelief for the sake of the story” thing? It really is that obvious?

    1. xKiv

      Knowing the answer makes a lot of things obvious.

      1. xKiv

        Hmm, maybe worth adding that it’s also true that “knowing” the answer makes many things “obvious”. (the “twist” is that this “obvious” answer is wrong).

  54. Animal

    Aw, hell. I was hoping for another week at least on the topic of butts.

  55. David

    Danny does not realize the danger he is in. He is going to want to retrieve his 3DS now.

    1. Keroshino

      Good Luck with that Danny boy…it’s with sal now.

      And she seems to have taken a liking to it!

  56. What was the question again?

    Why doesn’t that magazine in his hand have a proper cover?

    1. Skychrono

      Because it’s a campus newspaper?

    2. Animal

      Because it’s a newspaper.

      1. David Willis

        what is a “news paper”?

        1. Animal

          Meh. Kids these days.

        2. Kevin

          It’s a scam thing some people sell on the internet. It’s just a printed Wikipedia article.

        3. xKiv

          Printout of *yesterday’s* article.

  57. Vree

    What does this say about Billie and Dorothy, then? :p

    It’s not just you who’s dumb Danny, every girl you’ve dated they are all dumb. :p

  58. EnerPrime

    Well, that doesn’t bode well for Amber if she wants her secret identity to remain secret from the general public.

    Maybe she should have thought twice about flipping the bird to the reporter with high quality daylight photos of her?

  59. HentMas

    this is the conclusion of this arch? him copy pasted in 2 panels just thinking “geee, now that I know Amber is Amazi-girl, I realize I am dumb” when everybody and their dog know that??

    I really like your work and how you draw, but sometimes you reeeeally like dragging out things don’t you 😛

    1. Shilo

      Those are beat panels. They are crucial to the joke.

    2. Syclamoth

      Those panels are not actually copy-pasted! They are stereoscopic 3d.

      1. Kevin

        Willis never copy pastes characters (which automatically makes him one of the most reputable comic authors in the business, and as if that wasn’t enough to establish his 16″… work ethic… he’s got a buffer the size of Texas). Also, it does indeed work as a stereoscopic image!

  60. Mike Crichton

    “And now that I think of it, my deed to the Brooklyn Bridge looks like it’s written in crayon. And that ‘Gabriel’s Trumpet’ the priest had me blow on last week sure didn’t feel metallic…”

  61. Angel

    yeah really…I can understand the whole “wig and shoe lifts” thing but how did he think she changed her skin tone and facial bone structure?

    1. Ikaru

      …and height and body shape and eye color…

    2. bunivasal

      Peacocking was how it worked for the Spirit–the flashy, ridiculous outfit was so distracting that it was all that people would notice, and if asked to describe his facial features might be able to get as far as “white”.

  62. Ray

    My favorite-est line from “Lois & Clark” – GALACTICALLY STUPID:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4Nov7vSkmU

  63. Makkabee

    Well, gotta give him points for honest self-appraisal.

  64. Alexx

    I will never hate Danny. The man can admit when he’s wrong, and that’s one hell of a unique ability.

  65. bunivasal

    I did it! I finally did it! They said it was impossible to break the fourth wall from the outside, but I did it, and I possessed Danny and…

    unfortunately his brain is so mild and unpleasant “schmuck” was the best I could conjure up.

  66. WaytoomanyUIDs

    Dunno why, but the newpaper photo of Amazigirl looks like it was drawn by John Allison

    1. WaytoomanyUIDs

      I think it’s the eyes

      1. WaytoomanyUIDs

        and the expression and the shading

  67. The Candyman

    I guess Dorothy finally wrote that Amazi-Girl article. I assume she wrote the twerking one too?

    1. Bill

      Well, the lower picture was from the chase on Parents’ Weekend Sunday and could only have been taken by Dorothy.  And she didn’t let something as frivolous as extended post-coital bliss get in the way of transitioning to full-on back-to-business mode.

      Since the paper is published M-F and allowing for the time needed to get the story set up for press, I’m assuming that it is now Tuesday

      1. Nono

        It’s only a new day when it’s a new storyline.

        Dorothy’s obviously a wizard.

        1. Nono

          Or there’s a very explicitly stated timeskip, I guess.

  68. a4lbi

    Saying what we’re all thinking, I see. Bwaha!

  69. Cthulhu21

    As a guy who is also adverse to spoilers to stories I like I can sympathize with him. Though, the brain sees what it wants to see and things that are right in front of you will just blend in with the background.

  70. ThatGuy4815162342

    Oh dang, I’m finally caught up. I only started reading this a few days ago, but it’s so great that I’ve been reading it so quickly because I just can’t stop since it’s so great!

  71. JijiBunny

    All of the conversation in the comments is always so intelligent yet my contribution is pointing out that the school newspaper apparently has an article on twerking.

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