Carte blanche
Posted on August 4, 2013 by David M Willis

328 thoughts on “Carte blanche”

  1. thecanvashat

    hic! hic! hic!

    1. Endest

      Are you internet hiccuping?

    2. ALLxISxGONE

      Someone get this man some water.

      1. Ivan

        So… her mother just endorsed lying, because she’s ‘going to hell anyway’ – Why would SHE need to be lied to, when ‘the big non-existent cosmic zombie in the sky’ ALREADY KNOWS, what does lying to the mother get the mother?
        .
        She already knows athiests & agnostics & other religions exist… I’m liking Dorothy more and more now. If only she had said “When I’m president, I’ll still be forming a Christian Army to fight Islam!” – the mother would have said “Thank Ghod!”
        .
        Dorothy could have whispered to herself “Pray all you want in that foxhole kid… just pray that the neutrons get through the sand and mountains, and into the caves of Tora Bora before YOU have to go in there and flush ’em out!”

        1. Joshi

          Joyce was the one who suggested she lie, dude. That’s why the word bubble points at Joyce.

  2. Darth Cariss

    Well that didn’t take long.

    1. Albi

      My thought exactly.

    2. Keroshino

      And…Here…We…Go!!!

      1. nothri

        Okay, but I reserve the right to come back here tomorrow if Joyce’s parents take this news in stride and give my best Batman/Slayer impression:

        THESE PARENTS JUST SHOWED YOU THAT THEY’RE WILLING TO BELIEVE IN NONBELIEVERS!

        1. nothri

          Though the reply is also obvious: “Until their spirit breaks completely. Until they learn the TRUE orientation of Ethan Siegal, and all the many dudes he’s done….”

  3. Squall

    Mmm. Tact.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      What’s that? 😛

      1. thecanvashat

        I think they use it in furniture?

      2. Squall

        A sweet treat best served invisibly.

      3. Mr. Random

        It’s a synonym for ‘bluntness’.

      4. MichaelHaneline

        They’re those tiny little mints, right?

        1. Squall

          Yes, sir. I love tic-tact.

      5. Rogue of Space

        Can you eat it?

        1. Tachyon

          Take my word for it – only if you’re a time-traveler.

    2. Chug

      Tact is the art of making a point without stabbing someone with it.

      1. Jacob

        “Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.” – Winston Churchill

        1. ICSM

          I tought that that was diplomacy.

        2. Cybersnark

          No, diplomacy is the art of saying “good doggie” until you can find a big enough rock.

        3. Rogue of Space

          No, that’s Irish diplomacy.

        4. Boom

          I’m fresh out of English jokes about the Irish so accept this free Internet Potato instead.

      2. Tachyon

        … so it also comes in prison-shank form?

    3. MichaelHaneline

      They’re those tiny little mints, right?

      1. MichaelHaneline

        Replied to wrong post. Doh!

    4. Tualha

      Why, exactly, should Dorothy be reticent about her atheism? Joyce certainly isn’t reticent about her religiosity. Ever notice how it’s considered perfectly normal and polite to talk about your religion, but talking about being atheist is perceived to be aggressive and hostile?

      1. Kevin

        Well, you have the conservative fraction of the population like Joyce and her family who will condemn you to hell for not believing. Many people also believe that a person cannot be morally good without belief in God and believe that atheists are evil merely for their lack of faith. Most atheists I know do not talk about religion at all because of this; they can’t express their views without taking the chance of being condemned for them. Dorothy is making a brave stand here by being blunt about it to people she knows will strongly oppose her beliefs.

        1. Ziaheart

          It does go both ways. I’ve been in a class where I’d participate and as soon as the professor found out that I was a Christian he went out of his way to ridicule and dismiss every single thing out of my mouth. being a Christian automatically means that I’ve gotten a lobotomy, apparently.

        2. Tualha

          Tsk. Unfortunate. I thought that way when I was young, before I was lucky enough to meet someone who’s deeply religious and smarter than me in many ways.

        3. ninja_jesus

          Shitty people are shitty regardless of belief, unfortunately.

        4. Somebody

          I’ve never heard of a teacher doing that, outside of fabrications.

      2. Li

        Religion and politics are commonly said to be the two things you never talk about in polite company, and it’s true regardless of which religion you are (where “none” is also an option).

        There is no good reason why Dorothy “should” have to hide her atheism, but conventional wisdom does say that both she AND Joyce should be reluctant, and Joyce only isn’t because she’s Joyce.

        I’d add, though, that as much as it sucks for Dorothy right now, as unfair as it is, as awful as it would make anyone feel to know that their closest friend has lied to their parents about some critical part of their identity…

        …that she also knows some of Joyce’s situation, knows her parents told her that people like Dorothy would send her straight to Hell, and it’s not unreasonable to extrapolate that Joyce may get in serious trouble with her family over this. Post-attempted rape, Joyce begged her friends not to tell the authorities because then her parents would make her come home and stop going to university.

        I don’t know if the strip is going to handle it that seriously or not, but this is not the best time to try to change Joyce’s parents’ minds. The best time will be four years later, after they’ve gotten to know you, when Joyce has completed college and is independent.

      3. Chad from Canada

        I hear you. I’m an atheist, and happen to live in a town with more churches per capita then any town should rightfully have. I tell everyone I’m an Atheist. It’s who I am. Do I then have to argue with them? No. I say “I’m and Atheist” and now you know that about me. I will avoid the topic of religion like the plague after that point; however, if they start to push their agenda on me, I push back. Hard. I belong to an Atheist/Agnostic/Anti-Theist group. I’m well informed on religion, I’m full of counter arguments, and despite my faithlessness, I have the patience of a Saint, so I’ll argue all day without showing any sign of losing my temper. They hate that.

      4. nothri

        “Ever notice how it’s considered perfectly normal and polite to talk about your religion, but talking about being atheist is perceived to be aggressive and hostile?”

        From personal experience I have to conjecture that part of the problem is that some (not all, but they are out there) atheists go out of their way to be aggressive and hostile towards people who follow a religion. Once had a seminar in which a group of people, including a buddihist and a christian, were speaking on the subject of religion. The Buddihist said something to the effect that he enjoys having civil conversations about religion and welcomes dialogue. Guy stands up in the audience and says something along the lines of “Well, how am I supposed to have a civil conversation with you when I think all of you are crazy and stupid?” I realize not all atheists are assholes like this dude was being, but I’ll wager the atheists who are inclined to act like that try to be as loud and vocal about it as possible (like all assholes everywhere, including religious assholes) and thus they are the ones that stand out to religious people.

        1. gears

          Seriously? SERIOUSLY? Do you ever see Atheists going door to door proselytizing? Do you ever see them trying to shame people? It’s one thing to question the logic behind someone’s choices, it’s something else entirely to judge them for them. To be honest, we Atheists put up with a lot of shit from Christians with a smile, but if we say ANYTHING you scream bloody murder about how we are persecuting you.

        2. Jeff K!

          Yes, I have seen atheists try to shame people. Repeatedly.

          Now, that’s not everyone, but I’ve had a number of experiences where I’ve been shut out of a conversation because I’m happily religious. The most blatant being my then landlord in a shared living situation who was consistently openly hostile to my wife because of it. (She’s more vocal than I am – not in trying to get anyone else to join or anything, just in getting her personal belief needs met.)

          The situation ended some time ago, thankfully. It’s regrettable, too – everyone else in the household was very cool and kind. Religiously, it was an interesting mix – another atheist, two Mormons, one non-denominational Christian, and a practicing Wiccan.

        3. Reepicheep-chan

          Yeah, straight-up I have had more atheists try to force their world view on me then any other group. They may not go door to door, but the Mormon and Witnesses have always been polite when I ask them to leave; I have seen atheists corner people on public transportation and harangue and harass them about how “stupid” they are.

        4. nothri

          “Seriously? SERIOUSLY?”

          Yes. Seriously. I know this might come as a shock, but people using their beliefs to act superior and condescending to other people is not a phenomena limited to the religious. Self-righteousness is a human quality, not a religious one.

          “Do you ever see Atheists going door to door proselytizing? Do you ever see them trying to shame people?”

          Going door to door? Not so much. Trying to shame people. Yes. I in fact just described an atheist trying to do that EXACTLY.

          ” It’s one thing to question the logic behind someone’s choices, it’s something else entirely to judge them for them.”

          Calling someone crazy and stupid IS judging them.

          “To be honest, we Atheists put up with a lot of shit from Christians with a smile, but if we say ANYTHING you scream bloody murder about how we are persecuting you.”

          If you go around shoving your beliefs down other people’s throats, if you act self-righteous and superior to others because you think one way and they think another, you are as awful and vile as all these christians you are ranting about. I’m perfectly happy to respect people who can respect me. I don’t care if your an atheist or not. What I do care about is if you act like a shithead towards other people. I don’t put up with that crap from christians or other faiths, so why should it be any different coming from an atheist?

      5. VZG

        It’s not about that; it’s about Joyce knowing her parents. Sure, her comment at the end is… questionable at best, but I get the distinct impression that she simply wants her parents not to question her friendship with Dorothy (whether to avoid a fight or because she really hopes they’ll like her); if the first thing they learn about her is that, they might do just that. (We’ll have to see, obviously.) Given Joyce’s initial reaction, it’s a little strange that that might not occur to Dorothy.

        I mean, when I meet someone who I know to be very religious, regardless of the context, I make an effort not to have, “Hey, I’m a nonbeliever!” be the first thing I say to them. I’m not ashamed of it, nor unwilling to talk about it, but I can acknowledge that it’s a tender subject for some best not brought up with people I’ve known for less than five minutes, at least not without something else being discussed first. It’d be a bit like walking up to someone who you know holds political views different from yours and saying, “Hi! My name is [X] and I’m a member of an oppositional political party.” There’s nothing wrong with saying it, there’s no reason to be ashamed of it, but it’s not a good lead-in.

  4. Kernanator

    The next comic is 4 panels of Joyce’s parents making shocked faces.

    1. Mr. Random

      Three panels for each member, followed by a collective open mouthed expression and Joyce sheepishly smiling.

      1. Squall

        Ruh-roh!

      2. Kernanator

        Followed by 3 strips of Sarah and the Saruyamas in the elevator. With Sarah only moving once.

      3. thecanvashat

        And they always cut to a picture of Joyce proving whatever Sarah said wrong!

      4. Endest

        It will be a page for each face, zooming in on the face while one the last panel they scream “WAHT?”

        Then joyce breaks the fourth wall and runs away

    2. Midnight Dreamer

      Don’t worry i’m sure that Joyce’s mom will respect her choice in friends and they will all get along wonderfully :D…….right?

      1. Endest

        If her mom can just barely take the fact that she is watching a tv show, what can she take?

    3. Pink Freud

      Nah, the next few strips are the last thirty minutes of the movie Red State.

  5. Nono

    Dorothy’s gonna be a really bad politician if she can’t lie.

    1. Yotomoe

      It’s like…#1 priority. Before having good ideas or a solid plan.

      1. Squall

        You can fake having a good plan easier than you can prove that your plan is actually good. At least in America you can.

        1. Aizat

          While in other places, it’s how much you can make a complete ass of yourself and somehow managed to have supporters. That and play a subtle game of race politics…or just outright saying how much the government is evil even though the opposition is just as guilty.

        2. Squall

          Sometimes it’s “who can pose with the most cancer-ridden children without being called a pedophile.”

        3. Endest

          Too many words! Too many smart people!

          Hnnnnnnnnnnnnggggg

          *Explosion*

        4. thecanvashat

          Guys guys I totally have this plan to save the economy and it will totally be funny and dramatic and IT WILL BE SO AWESOME.

        5. Squall

          HERETAKEMYMONEYANDALLOFMYVALUABLESPLEASETELLMEMORE

        6. thecanvashat

          OK. I’m going to need 50 F1 racecars, each with rockets on top, a dozen Transformers, a thousand subwoofers, 50 McNuggets, a nickel, a dozen batarangs, thirty tower fans, a thousand fire extinguishers, and a SHITTON OF JELLO.

          Oh and maybe a Head Defibrillator because your mind WILL BE BLOWN.

        7. Squall

          I think you’re forgetting something. Don’t you need– a MONEYPIT!!!

        8. thecanvashat

          Oh, right. And also the gasoline, and the lipstick. This is gonna be so cool..

          Also, the presidency. Should have mentioned that first.

        9. Squall

          You need a slogan now. Something like: “I’m not a racist.” Or “my buildings are ALL asbestos free”

        10. Historyman68

          “I’m gonna need the presidency” is a pretty great slogan.

        11. Squall

          “I’m gonna need the presidency. Now bring me my juice box!”

        12. Kernanator

          Reminds me of that Whose Line is it Anyway? skit, with “Slogans that will not get you elected”.

        13. Squall

          “Sorry about eating your family… Let me make it up to you by being president!”

        14. Kernanator

          Found the video I was thinking of: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BufmAObm2_M&list=PL9D64B3840319B3DE&index=58

        15. Squall

          I’m making posters. What font should I use?

        16. Bemmie

          “I’m making posters. What font should I use?”

          Comic Sans

        17. Squall

          Tragically, I do not have comic sans.

        18. Bluebird

          I can see it now, “Dark horse candidate for the Awesome Party has swept the polls here in Iowa tonight…”

          Canvashat 2016
          -“I’m gonna need the Presidency!”

        19. Squall

          Vote Canvashat, 2016! “He once gave my cat a hug! He’s a great guy!”

    2. Gram91

      The whole atheist thing might actually affect it as well.

      1. BigMadDraco

        Yeah, I don’t see an openly atheist president in my life time.

        1. Doctor_Who

          I once had an honest conversation with a religious friend about who would fare better as president, an atheist or a satanist.

          While he agreed the atheist would do the job better, he actually thought the satanist would have an easier time getting elected because “at least he believes in something”.

        2. Aizat

          And a friend of mine would say “At least he’s honest about being evil. Unlike some politicians.” I met some really interesting people in my life time.

        3. Li

          I would like to point out here that there’s nothing wrong with Satanism. It’s a real form of religious philosophy, and is more about celebrating individualism and humanism and free will than human sacrifice or reveling in evil. There are theistic and atheistic branches, too, so it’s also possible to be an atheistic satanist, someone who recognizes Lucifer/Satan as a mythical figure and uses him as a symbol of the philosophy.

          Frankly, a lot of satanic / luciferian beliefs are pretty mainstream, too, like the idea that sin is bullshit and that there’s nothing wrong with expressing your natural desires as long as you do it responsibly.

          And if you think about it from a neutral perspective, you can see why someone would want to venerate the Adversary. Modern satanism is generally a reaction to the fairly oppressive force of modern Christianity, so by casting its adversary as your hero you are rebelling. And I mean, Lucifer’s role in “ruining” the Garden of Eden? He made humanity what it is today, separating us from the animals with — not sin! — but wisdom. He’s kind of like Prometheus, really.

          …so yeah.

        4. Pat

          Whatever your philosophy is, intentionally naming it after a literal embodiment of evil (even if symbolic) for the purpose of making enemies will, well, make enemies.

          The entire idea of something called “Satanism” is very childish, regardless of what the thing itself is.

          Also,
          “…the idea that sin is bullshit and that there’s nothing wrong with expressing your natural desires as long as you do it responsibly.”
          So there is something wrong with acting irresponsibly, called “sin” in some religions?

        5. Li

          “Whatever your philosophy is, intentionally naming it after a literal embodiment of evil (even if symbolic) for the purpose of making enemies will, well, make enemies.”

          1.) I’m not a Satanist/Luciferian.
          2.) I believe the point is that Lucifer is only a symbol of evil if you believe that the Christian God is good.
          3.) I don’t think Luciferians or Satanists particularly care what Christians think of them, and certainly they don’t prescribe to a religious philosophy for the purpose of making other people mad. Being a reaction to Christianity is not the same thing doing something only to spit on somebody else. Lutheran Christianity was a reaction to the Catholic Church’s practices at the time; does that make them childish?

          “The entire idea of something called ‘Satanism’ is very childish, regardless of what the thing itself is.”

          1.) Still not a Satanist/Luciferian, so… I don’t care what you think of them.
          2.) I bet they don’t care what you think of them either.
          3.) Don’t think it’s actually any more childish than venerating any other figure. Again, Satanists/Luciferians don’t believe him to be evil. You missed a huge chunk of what I was saying if you don’t get that they aren’t people who revel in evil.

          “So there is something wrong with acting irresponsibly, called ‘sin’ in some religions?”

          1.) Again, noooot a Satanist/Luciferian. I was making no judgment statements on any form of religious philosophy, only trying to explain what Satanism/Luciferianism IS.
          2.) Your question is missing some words, I assume, since what you’re technically asking me is whether sin exists in other religions. And surely you know that it does. I’ll try to answer your potential questions anyway, but know that I’m doing it as me, someone with no particular expertise, expressing only my personal beliefs.

          If you meant…

          Q: So there is something wrong with sin, if it’s defined by me as “acting irresponsibly”?

          A: Of course acting irresponsibly is not ideal, but making mistakes is part of the human experience, and unfortunately “acting irresponsibly” is not how most people define sin. Most people define sin as things like “experiencing sexual desire”, which are not in and of themselves bad.

          Q. So you’re admitting sin is real?

          A. No.

          Q. So you’re saying there’s something wrong with calling irresponsible behavior sin?

          A. Yes, because again “irresponsible behavior” is not how sin is defined by most people. (I doubt this is what you meant.) I don’t think people should fear being stained by thoughts and feelings that are perfectly normal and natural, and I think the repression causes real harm.

        6. Somebody

          And since when does not caring affect reality?

        7. Somebody

          It’s fine to be free-spirited, but you need some degree of self-control.

        8. vsophi

          ^ replying to Somebody:

          If Li’s characterization is correct (too lazy to look it up myself), self-control is a factor. This:

          “there’s nothing wrong with expressing your natural desires as long as you do it responsibly.”

          is what separates Satanism and hedonism.

        9. Somebody

          True hedonism was about as much universal happiness as possible though.

          And maybe it’s easier if you check Wikipedia or something…it’s hard for me to explain. We’re talking about the LaVeyan version, right?

        10. Li

          @Somebody: I was trying to go for a broad overview.

          Also, “not caring” affects reality when the reality in question is “being called childish”. If you don’t care that someone thinks you’re being childish, then being called childish is pointless and has no power.

        11. JustcallmeSoul

          oh Li, i almost didn’t recognize you. anyway i actually was posting to say more or less what you said with the added point that aside from venerating the adversary of the christian faith, who is going to follow a church called “the church of whatever?” or maybe “The church of doing whatever the hell me want?”

        12. Li

          *snork*

        13. Somebody

          I just don’t see it, looking at some of the tenets. It also seems like social Darwinism, dehumanizing people as “psychic vampires”.

        14. Volkai

          I don’t see an openly atheist president (at least in the U.S.A.) in the next decade, unlikely in the next two, but I wouldn’t rule it out as a possibility in the next 30-50 years.

        15. JA

          And then a shitstorm to end all shitstorms will be started by the religious. Barack getting elected twice will have nothing on an atheist being elected president of the U.S.

        16. Squall

          What combination of distinguishing features would cause the most outrage against a president (or candidate)?

        17. thecanvashat

          “Actually the Resurrected Soul of Adolf Hitler” may be the most hated Presidential Candidate.

        18. Aizat

          “A Frankenstein’s monster of every vile and murderous person in history” begs to differ.

        19. Squall

          How about: Iranian pregnant atheistic mother of three mentally challenged children, adoptive mother of five, foster mother of three, paraplegic, and ALSO single.
          While these features on any other person would get them in the newspaper for their (likely) good deeds, I believe there would be many hundreds of groups who would hate her if she ran for president.

        20. Aizat

          I’d voted for her. Heck, I might be her greatest supporter.

        21. thecanvashat

          “Joffrey Baratheon” may be in the running, though.

        22. Aizat

          “Genocide Babystrangler” could also be in the running, too.

        23. Squall

          I think that woman would be my hero. (Not the baby-strangler)

        24. Mr. Random

          Are the babies that are strangled evil? If so I might have to withdraw my support.

        25. Mr. Random

          The South might Actually go through with their threat that time. (Remember that? It was really stupid. It still happened though.)

        26. Marcos Dantas

          Responding to Volkai.
          We already had one, here in Brazil: Fernando Henrique Cardoso.
          At least I remenber him sayng something to that effect and causing some stir, but it was far from being the less regarded thing about him.

        27. Li

          No one sees this stuff until it happens, no offense. Looooots of people thought the same thing about a black president, after all.

        28. Nyxness

          Yeah, and for a long time they would have been right. The question is just how many people would be opposed to an atheist president. With 43% of people saying they wouldn’t vote for an atheist, it’s pretty clear that it’s not very probable at the moment. Back in the ’60s, I’m sure the numbers would have been similar for a black president. It’s not really a matter of a black presidential candidate like Obama swooping in and surprising us all, it’s a matter of ideas about black people slowly changing. Until such ideas change about atheists change as well, not seeing it happening is completely reasonable.

        29. Li

          What’s clear is that we’re unlikely to get an atheist president this year. Trying to make predictions about social attitudes ten years in the future, let alone “within my lifetime”, is pretty futile.

        30. Li

          *for reasons beyond the fact that we already have a president, I mean. Sigh. Semantics made that a very stupid sentence.

      2. JBO

        Yeah you americans are silly. Why is it so impossible for an antheist to be considered eligeble for presidency?
        (Yes, I know why, don’t start explaining it to me)

        1. Mr. Random

          Someone will.

        2. MichaelHaneline

          Because most of us “Americans” are silly. You already said the answer in your question, come on now.

        3. leor613

          @JBO: Atheists are eligible to run for public office in the United States; it’s a question of whether voters will want to vote for them. It’s unconstitutional to prevent atheists (or any religious minority) from running for public office.

          As for your rhetorical question about Americans not voting for atheists, there was a time when they wouldn’t vote for Catholics or Jews; right now there are many Catholic and Jewish senators and representatives, and the Supreme Court of the United States is 2/3 Catholic, 1/3 Jewish. Americans are a lot more tolerant than people like you give them credit for.

        4. gears

          Actually that’s not true. 7 states (Maryland, Texas, Pennsylvania, Tennesse, Mississippi, South Carolina and Arkansas) require you to believe in a “Supreme Being” to run. Bigotry is alive and well in the American political process. You think black people get discriminated against? Try being a Jewish Atheist.

        5. L.K. Croctuta

          How the hell is that legal?!? The requirement of belief in a “Supreme Being”, I mean.

    3. JA

      $20 says she said it to troll her friend’s uber-religious parents. Either that, or we’re being set up for an epic takedown where Dorothy tells Joyce’s parents that she’s capable of being her own person and making her own decisions.

      1. thecanvashat

        Joyce’s dad just tackled Dorothy to the ground and starts yelling “GET OUT! I’LL HOLD HER OFF!”

        1. Somebody

          He touches her and it’s whack-a-fundy time.

      2. Tenn

        Maybe Dorothy just isn’t fond of hilarious misunderstandings and wants to nip them in the bud?

    4. Buckybone

      Seriously, there’s no way in hell that an atheist can get elected outside of Arizona (and even she sort of denies it…).

      1. Squall

        That’s because Arizona used to be full of Camels. (This fact brought to you by snapple)

      2. Nyxness

        Based on my knowledge of Arizona, wouldn’t being an atheist make you LESS likely to be elected there…? When we lived there, the other neighborhood kids threatened my brother with a gun because we’re Jewish. Thankfully, they didn’t quite know about the atheist part.

  6. Jen Aside

    Wow, if they’re gonna freak out about her mere friend, it’s a good thing Joyce isn’t dating anyone who goes against their beliefs!

    …wait

    1. Squall

      Hahaha. Sitcoms…

  7. Mr. Random

    I honestly thought it’d take longer.
    LET’S WATCH!

    1. AgentKeen

      I know, as soon as I saw Dorothy I thought ‘So, how many weeks before we get to see the atheist beans spill?’ Instead, it was about 10 seconds.

  8. The Candyman

    Something is seriously wrong when Joyce is being the smart one.

    1. Yotomoe

      and premoting unchristian behavior.

    2. GoldStarz

      How is Dorothy not being smart? It doesn’t affect her at all.

      1. thecanvashat

        It seems that she doesnt want to make it more awkward in front of her parents.

      2. The Candyman

        It does affect her, actually. Now comes the risk of Joyce’s parents freaking out and not permitting Joyce to see her again, along with other unpleasantness that could have been avoided if she kept her mouth shut.

        1. Kintrex

          Like her parents would be able to enforce that.

        2. VZG

          Well, that depends. Is Joyce putting herself through college? Would her parents be willing to withhold tuition money? And how much does Joyce respect their authority vs. her own will? (I suspect they wouldn’t be able to, but it’s not impossible; wouldn’t be the first time parents who were funding their child’s education put an ultimatum on that sort of thing, or made them go to a more religious school.)

          More importantly, though, is the arguments it may cause. I don’t think Joyce is the type to rebel or argue with her parents at all if she can help it — I mean, she actively sought a chaperone for a date. A serious argument with them, even if it doesn’t have any consequences other than emotional ones, could take a real toll on her.

          Not that she should have to keep her friends’ religions (or lack thereof) from them, but this may not be the best way to introduce the subject; a sudden, not-so-casual mention of it when they’ve barely met her is more likely to upset things than a more subtle introduction of the knowledge, which, really, isn’t the most important thing they should know about Dorothy and her friendship with Joyce anyway.

  9. JebJeb

    Dammit, I’m gonna need another bag of popcorn for this.

    1. Aizat

      This is going to be a train wreck.

    2. CianM1301

      Don’t worry! I have one in the microwave already!

  10. Twirls

    Big Polaroid-version of panel two? 😀

    1. Squall

      It’s a Hallmark moment

      1. Yotomoe

        and someone use caligraphy and type “Friendship”

        1. Squall

          http://twitter.com/SquallStaffan/status/364080370880229377/photo/1

  11. Aizat

    So, is the event is going to be one huge storm of crap for everyone?

    1. Squall

      I think our weather forecast was spot on.

    2. Viktoria

      Oh the crap hasn’t even gone into the air yet, much less hit the fan. We’re still waiting for Amber’s parents, after all. Ethan and Joyce’s, though terrible, aren’t even close to that.

      1. Yotomoe

        Shitnado is still a go.

        1. Squall

          Copy that. Sending the agents now.

        2. Mr. Random

          Our best Storm chasers will be standing by with recording equipment. Please Stand by.

        3. Squall

          The deuce has dropped- I repeat- The deuce has dropped.

        4. timemonkey

          Is the shitnado full of sharks as well? Just to be as bad as possible?

        5. Squall

          Possibly, but i guarantee that there will be shark shit.

      2. Nono

        We’ve already met her mum, and we don’t know how long it’s been since they’re divorced, if Amber is still in contact with her dad, or if he’s even coming.

        1. Regalli

          On the one hand, her well-adjustedness says “Probably not.”

          On the other hand, drama says “OF COURSE WE’RE GONNA HAVE TO SEE THAT ASSHOLE.”

      3. AJBulldis

        We already saw Amber’s mother. She was super hot and got seduced by Joe’s dad and it was wonderful. Doubtful we’ll be seeing her dad.

        1. thecanvashat

          They’ll be busy.

        2. Aizat

          Yes, “busy”

        3. Squall

          They’re “busying” each other all right.

        4. thecanvashat

          Can you come to the board meeting? It’s for “business”.

        5. Squall

          Take a look at the “business” end of that one

        6. Mr. Random

          Can’t come to the phone right now. We’re ‘Busy’.

        7. Yotomoe

          They stopped being busy for a while, but when Stacy removed her bra again Joe’s dad became very busy.

        8. Squall

          Meet me in my office. I have a “business” proposition.

        9. JBO

          I think we have to go out of business. The only ay to prevent that is by “laying off” some other people.

        10. Aizat

          Your “business” is our “business”.

        11. JBO

          I think ew need to expand our “business” portfolio.

        12. Aizat

          The good news is that thanks to our “promotion”, our “business” is good.

        13. Squall

          I got a discount on some ‘business’ supplies, wanna try ‘Em out?

        14. Yotomoe

          LET’S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS
          to defeat…the huns.

        15. Squall

          My ‘business’ model is straight and easily accessible.

        16. Mr. Random

          All the phone lines are ‘busy’.

        17. Squall

          Here’s my “business” card, I am a professional “business”man.

        18. Mr. Random

          All right everybody. This class will teach you everything you need to know about this “business”.

        19. Squall

          I had a crush on my ‘business’ teacher in high school. She liked the hands on approach to ‘business’

        20. Leorale

          That’s why they call them business socks.

        21. Squall

          I always fly “business” class

    3. Cass

      You never know, Joyce’s parents could take this positively if they think Joyce is working to “save” Dorothy. (Especially if Dorothy’s willing to throw Joyce a bone and admit that she has gone to church with her, and gloss over the part where she was gladly let out of it after the one time).

  12. Aizat

    I don’t think lying is going to be an option here for Dotty here.

  13. Thanks, I'll Have Another!

    Next strip, first panel:

    “Just kidding! Of COURSE we go to church ALL THE TIME together!” – Dorothy

    1. thecanvashat

      All the time that one time!

  14. -_-

    This is gonna end badly.

    1. Volkai

      I really, really hope you’re wrong… but I think you’re probably right. :/

  15. spaceinvader42

    This is exactly the reason why I can’t stand Christians. Can’t they see how offensive it is to go around telling people that they’re going to hell? Somehow, I don’t think it would go over very well if I went around telling people that god isn’t real and their religion is a lie.

    1. Aizat

      Then you are pretty much stooping to their level in doing so. BTW, is that really a thing for Christians to that every where else since they don’t do that where I’m from.

      1. thecanvashat

        Usually not, I think. It’s actually pretty surprising if it does happen.

      2. spaceinvader42

        I would never do something like that, that’s my point. And, yes, I have in fact been told to my face that I was going to hell because I didn’t believe in god. And by my own cousin, no less.

        1. JBO

          So you let bad experiences with your family paint your opinion of an entire group? Man, do I have to start hating truck drivers now, because my uncle is an ungrateful deadbeat?

        2. Somebody

          How is that at all similar?

        3. Tenn

          By being an example of the fallacy “Some person(s) of Group X have Flaw Y, therefore all persons of Group X have Flaw Y”.

          Of course, there is also a difference in that Christians have a manual and a community that might encourage them to tell non-believers they are going to hell, whereas truck drivers don’t have a manual or a community encouraging them to be ungrateful deadbeats.

        4. Li

          This is a really silly argument. When he said he’d been told to go to hell by his own family, that was absolutely not to say that he hasn’t been told the same thing by other religious people.

          And also? Check yourself a little. I know it’s tempting, I know that “anecdotes shouldn’t trump statistics” causes tremendous feelings of superiority, but try not to tell someone that letting a traumatic experience with a family member color their worldview is wrong.

        5. vsophi

          It’s understandable, but there’s a line. If you let your biases dictate the way you treat others, that’s not okay. I’m not sure that’s what’s happening here, but I just thought I’d mention it.

        6. Li

          I’d argue that it’s not ideal, but if you pay attention to what spaceinvader42 actually said, he’s not letting it dictate the way he treats others. Saying “This is why I can’t stand Christians” is pretty harmless.

          (See also: “This is why I can’t stand lawyers.” “This is why I can’t stand bankers.” There is zero difference between these three statements, except that one of them is always [angrily] interpreted to be a statement about ALL [category X] EVERYWHERE, and the other two are correctly understood to be complaints about problematic institutions, not individuals.)

        7. JBO

          Uhm, no. I dislike all three, because they all grammaticly are a statement about ALL of cathegory X everywhere. Making these kinds of statements when talking about delicate issues just hurts the common cause we all seem to be trying to support.

        8. Alyssa

          I’ve been told the same, but not my a cousin. By my then-boyfriend’s mother. (He was also going to hell for the same reason.)
          Except that the person saying this was Jewish and apparently missing the part where we don’t even HAVE a long-term hell. No, really, we don’t. Longest anyone can be in the closest analogue is a year and a day.
          That kind of behavior isn’t specific to any one religion, but it does seem specific to the intersection of jackass and highly religious.

        9. leor613

          Shh! Ix-nay on Gehinnom, in front of the Oyim-Gay!

      3. sundriedrainbow

        yeah it happens to me a lot. :(( sadly.

      4. Cat

        Going by your name, I’m guessing you’re Malay, and that right there is why they don’t say it to you.

        Signed, a fellow Malaysian who has had Christians tell him he’s going to hell.

      5. khambatta

        It wasn’t a thing here, even among the strictest denominations, but now some lower-middle-class types are starting to import it from the States.
        They tend to be the same sort of folk who complain about the ‘foreign ways’ of immigrants. It’s some sort of badge to show that they’re better than everyone else; they also never tip, and always leave a mess behind in cafes, just so the staff know whats what.
        If it wasn’t for religion, I’m sure they’d find something else to be arsey about.

    2. Squall

      I don’t know about Christians in general, but I personally know no one who forces their beliefs into all the open orifices of everyone they meet.

      1. Aizat

        You know what they say about shoving stuff down people’s throat? Sometimes they puke it back out and sometimes they die of choking.

        1. Squall

          And sometimes it comes out the other end worse than it went in.

    3. spaceinvader42

      And also the idea that many Christians have that atheists are amoral people who go around lying, stealing, and who knows what else, because obviously the fear of god is the only reason why you wouldn’t just do whatever you want all the time. Believe it or not, it is possible to be moral without believing in god. Frankly, its much more disturbing to me to think that fear of god is the only thing stopping Christians from going around raping, pillaging, and murdering.

      1. -_-

        That is true yet scary.

        1. -_-

          Well i dont mean all christians only stopped from doing this by the will of their god i meant this is true in some cases and well in those cases its well scary.

      2. JBO

        Uhm, again I think you are basing your ideas of christians off of a tiny minority. Most christians that I know are normal people like you and I. When I applied for a social year abroad with a Christian organisation and mentoined that I am agnostic/deitst at best they were just like: “We don’t care. You are the kind of person we a relooking for.”

        1. thecanvashat

          Encore! Encore!

        2. Somebody

          And yet, most of the Christian politicians and tv preachers further frightening ignorance all the time. Even though not all of them talk bad about people, they still reject evidence against sexuality being a choice. I suppose I can’t really talk since I used to believe the same thing…and was a creationist.

      3. KB_SBI

        Yeah, that’s my favorite. Nothing says your a good person like the fear of endless torture in your afterlife keeping you in line.

    4. Peruhain

      Ummm, there are plenty of Christians who don’t do (or think) that, spaceinvader42. You probably know some. You just don’t know who they are because they haven’t told you you’re going to hell.

      1. spaceinvader42

        I know that, I’m not saying that all Christians would do that. I have plenty of friends who are Christians. But I’m addressing those who do. All I really want is a more civil world where people don’t go around insulting each other’s beliefs.

        I admit this is a bit of a sore point for me, thanks to my family’s own issues with religion. I just wish people could learn to respect each other’s differences.

        1. JBO

          ” All I really want is a more civil world where people don’t go around insulting each other’s beliefs. ”
          *looks at OP*:
          “This is exactly the reason why I can’t stand Christians.”

          Why don’t you start by setting an example mate?

        2. Kelly

          Eh, if they want to insult me, that is fine. Then I can insult them. Insult party! Insults all around!

    5. Biege

      Ummm, isn’t that what you just did 😉

      and not all Christians do that. In fact, very few do. and those that do, do it because they’re assholes, not because they’re Christians.

      and this is coming from a proud agnostic who enjoys annoying his christian freinds.

      1. Mr. Random

        Sometimes what you think of a group is only a small percentage. They don’t speak for everyone. They’re simply loud and near a television.

    6. Yotomoe

      It’s taken a while for me to dissasociate Christians from assholes who use Christianity to justify being xenophobic, homophobic, racist, and generally unpleasant. Christian’s aren’t inherintly bad. It’s just people who like to use it as an excuse to be an awful person that need to GO.

      1. JBO

        This very much. During my social year here in Bolivia I have not hidden the fact that I am not babtised and that I am atheist/agnostic/deist. Did any of my deeply catholic and conservative co workers and students care? Not a bit. An asshole is an asshole no matter what faith and a kind person is a kind perswon no matter what faith.

      2. Aizat

        Just like how not all Muslims are terrorist or misogynistic assholes. They just use religion to justify what they had done which to me is just wrong.

      3. spaceinvader42

        Exactly, that’s all I’m really trying to say here.

    7. Em

      And spaceinvader42, you’ve just demonstrated what I hate about atheists. I’m not Christian. But I hate that YOUR hate is towards Christians alone. ALL RELIGIONS DO THIS. ALL OF THEM. And atheists also like to yell at Christians by telling them that their beliefs are idiotic. Most religious people don’t do this. Some do. The people that do get the most attention because what they’re doing is shocking. They by NO MEANS represent the whole Christian population.

      You too are spreading HATE and INTOLERANCE for an entire religion. There are many many many atheists that tell religious people that what they believe is a lie, a falsehood and that these people need to believe what THEY believe because what THEY believe is the truth and the light. Don’t just assume that this doesn’t happen.

      *heaves a breath* I’m Buddhist. And it saddens me to watch the hypocrisy between “believers” and “non-believers.” I know I might have come off as rude, and I apologize if I ruffled feathers.

      1. Mr. Random

        You stated an opinion. It was bound to happen. And I think it’s mostly redirected anger from a family that has personal investment in religion. I think this because he said that in a comment somewhere above this.

      2. spaceinvader42

        I’m well aware that this is an issue with all religions, I just addressed Christianity in particular here because that’s Joyce’s religion, and because it is the religion that I, and I imagine most of the other readers, have the most experience with. I’m not intending to insult all Christians, or all religious people. I just want the ones who tell me that I’m going to hell to leave me alone.

        1. JBO

          Again, then why did you say that you “can’t stand christians” and that “their religion is a lie”?

          Those are some clear insults of christians in teh first and religious people in general in the second statement.
          If you did not intend to be understood as you are right now, then you should have worded your OP differently.

        2. spaceinvader42

          You’re right, I probably should have worded it differently. I meant that I can’t stand Christians who go around telling non-believers they are going to hell. Most Christians I know are perfectly nice people and have never once told me I’m going to hell.

        3. Li

          He didn’t say their religion was a lie. Read more carefully in the future.

        4. spaceinvader42

          And to be fair, I also feel the same way about atheists who claim that religion is the cause of all the world’s problems. I’m not a fan of intolerance when it comes from my side either.

      3. Yotomoe

        Athiests aren’t the only ones who demean other’s religion. The people I see with the least respect for other’s religion have been christian. I agree with everything else you said though.

        1. L.K. Croctuta

          Agreed, this can be done by people of any faith or lack thereof. For example, my mother, a non-practicing Jew, is really, let’s say reactive about Wicca. You can’t even say the WORD Wicca around her or she blows up about it. Somehow she’s gotten it into her head that Wicca is Satanism. Never mind the fact that there’s nothing wrong with Satanism either. Frankly, if two people introduced themselves to me and immediately told me their religions and one was Christian and the other a Satanist, I’d be more apt to give the Satanist a chance. I don’t have anything against Christians in general, but those who introduce themselves with their faith tend to be the ones that WILL tell you up front you’re going to hell, at least in my experience. My crazy, emotionally abusive, paternal grandmother fell in that category of Christian when she was alive. As I personally believe in reincarnation, I like to think she was reborn as a housefly. (Yeah, I have issues…)

  16. JA

    Well. This is about to get interesting.

    /popcorn

  17. Wonder Wig

    I want a montage of Joyce’s parents trying to run away but at every turn they see something offensive to them. A doorway opens and there’s a Bill Maher poster inside, a group of students watching Rocky Horror, a lesbian couple holding hands, and someone reading a biology textbook. They get into the elevator, but then Dina enters and the doors close, she says, “Dinosaurs!” and then we hear muffled screaming from the other side of the door.

    1. LtSaraD

      that is an episode of awesome!

    2. Rheinman

      Agree, that would be epic.

  18. LtSaraD

    being an honest person has nothing to do with heaven or hell. but ur lieing enough i think

  19. Em

    “ATHEIST?”
    “Haha YEP. Oh, Lemme go introduce you to Ethan Siegal. He’s my boyfriend. My Jewish boyfriend. My GAY Jewish boyfriend. Is Billie around here? She’s an alcoholic who thinks everyone experiments with their own gender when it comes to hanky-pankying.”
    “…Off to Christian college you go.”

    Although, I can see them sucking in their beliefs and going along with it. They did go to this college. I wouldn’t be surprised if they’d hung out with atheists before. I get the sense that Joyce’s parents TOLERATE (big emphasis on tolerate) people who don’t agree with their faith system and political views. I could be wrong though…

    1. JBO

      I can actually see them being proud of her duaghter trying to “convert” the lost souls.

      1. -_-

        Funny you just reminded of an extremely hard game called demon souls. God i hate that game.

        1. DrunkenGator

          Don’t worry. The game hates you, too. As well as everybody who has ever played it.

    2. Squall

      “Did I mention I was assaulted at a party?”

      1. Aizat

        I don’t Joyce is going to mention that.

      2. JBO

        “Oh my god, sweetness, well no worries we found you this nice pastor’s son, who would just be perfect for you….”

        1. Aizat

          “But recently, the pastor’s son had an accident and now have this nasty scar on his face but I don’t think that’s a big problem, right?”

        2. JBO

          “He even goes to the same university! It was bound to happen! It’s destiny! Like Ismael und Rahel!”

        3. Somebody

          But isn’t he, like, a fugitive now?

  20. Cholma

    Let’s get ready to RUUUMMMMMMBBBLLLEEEEE!

    1. JBO

      ORGAL COMBAT!
      FINISH HIM!
      JEREMIAH WINS!
      CHRISTIANITY!

      1. Aizat

        Reminds me of that one review of the Godyssey.

  21. Peruhain

    That last speech bubble is pregnant with irony, and got a big guffaw out of me. I have to say it’s entertaining to watch Joyce twist herself in Gordian knots of hypocrisy as she navigates between the Charybdis of the parentals and the Scylla of her peers. (Sorry for the mythical mixed metaphors–at least ropes and navigation are tangentially related. :p ) I watch with equal parts of sympathy and schadenfreude. This is going to be a really interesting storyline, however it turns out.

    1. Mr. Random

      We met Dina’s parents.
      That’s all we really needed.

  22. Mr. Random

    You know it just occurred to me how much I like getting here early. It’s like watching the comments sprout into trees from the first tiny little trees.

    1. Squall

      I like making new branches on those trees. It’s fun to watch the new branches as if they are my children.

      1. David

        this is so hot

        1. JBO

          You heard it here first people! Our demigod is into tree porn. Yotomoe get on that, so we can bribe him in the future!

        2. Aizat

          Wait, tree porn exists? I know people are into a lot of kinky stuff but how do you “work”on the tree?

        3. JBO

          “Ooh, the wind shook my branch so hard all the leaves fell off. If it blows even harder I might even drop some fruits.”

        4. Squall

          “Me and my girlfriend ‘spruced’ things up in the bedroom”

        5. Somebody

          Don’t you mean nuts?

        6. Tenn

          *re-routing logic circuits*

          1) If X exists, then X porn also exists.

          2) Trees exist.

          3) Therefore, tree porn exists.

          4) PROFIT!

          5) Wait, what?

        7. Jereko

          http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0269.html

        8. Yotomoe

          I don’t want to draw tree porn. Or Willis. and certainly not the two together.

        9. David

          lightweight

        10. Tenn

          Even a master has limits.

        11. Boom

          Then he is no maser.

        12. Squall

          I wish I had a Maser sometimes…

        13. Makkabee

          So Willis is into tree porn. I’d never guessed he was a firry.

        14. captainswift

          [philkensebbenvoice]Aha![/philkensebbenvoice

      2. Aizat

        For me, it’s like leaving my mark in the ever expansive corridor of time.

        1. Mr. Random

          I come back to change the last word to seeds, and I find a fully developed fir.

    2. Albi

      Me too! And Dumbing of Age (and his other comics) are the very few websites exempt from my “Don’t Read the Comments” rule.

      I love you guys.

      (CAVEAT: I’m running on very little sleep.)

  23. -_-

    i feel sorry for joyce,shes gonna have lots of explaing to do. I mean its really hard to get through her situation. Unless she lies and says dorothy was just joking.(might just work)

  24. Beedle

    Ohhhh Dorothy! Why did you say that? Why why why why WHY?

  25. Pagan's Advocate

    I have been waiting for this moment for years, how will Joyce’s parents react;
    anger, condescension, obvious but controlled discomfort? I need answers Willis!

    1. Yotomoe

      They’re going to burst into flames.

  26. Kris

    “By challenging my beliefs, she gives me an opportunity to develop a deeper relationship with Christ through self-examination and bible study. Also, she’s funny and nice.” – possible optimal explanation. Will it be said? Probably not.

    For that matter, for someone as religious as Joyce is, we haven’t really seen her with a bible at all.

    1. Leonou

      She’s already got an “intimate knowledge” of the Bible.
      Especially Ezechiel, “it’s dirty”.

      1. The Candyman

        A lot of The Bible is dirty, to be frank.

        1. Yotomoe

          That’s cuz I’m clumsy and keep dropping it on the playground.

        2. ninja_jesus

          As long as no one tells the teacher on you, it never happened.

  27. Baker

    Anyone else think Joyce’s parents may turn out to be the biggest jerks? I’ve got this feeling this is where they show us how Ethan’s parents are distant second.

  28. Zuzi

    Oh dear…

  29. Squall

    Would anyone care to join me in some freeform jazz?

  30. Kiggy

    And the caca hits the ventilator

  31. Jenny Creed

    I’m going to attribute Joyce’s last line there to the heat of the moment (Watsonian) or the rule of funny (Doylist). Cause she seems too nice to actually think that the threat of going to Hell is the only reason you shouldn’t tell lies.

    There’s that look of abject horror you can get from fundies by telling them that you don’t believe as they do, for one.

    1. Jackson

      Nothin’ to break up the tension like a little black humor, eh?

      1. Jenny Creed

        Tell me about it. I had a whole speech typed up where I determined the value of honesty given the ability of one’s actions to impact on one’s society and future and basically reinventing the categorical imperative, but then I posted the second paragraph you see there instead.

  32. theKOT

    Ok I have to say, they look absolutely adorable in panel two. Like, cutest thing I’ve seen in this comic, probably?

  33. Jack Finch

    Aaaaaaand cue discussion of why they didn’t send Joyce to that Christian college.

  34. Tenn

    And this is where we’ll find out just how far Joyce’s parents are from their Walkyverse counterparts.

    1. Yotomoe

      All i remember about Joyce’s mom was that she wanted grand children…and aparently her and the Mr. secretly went at it like rabbits.

  35. Tualha

    Yeah Joyce, because atheists have no morals at all! They’re perfectly fine with lying, cheating, theft, etc. Just like Dorothy. Right?

    1. Crimson Doom

      Actually, I think the thought process is “you must believe in God or you go to Hell. You don’t believe in God. Therefore, what do you have to lose?”

      Naturally, there are a number of major flaws with that thought process as well, but I do think you misunderstood what Joyce was getting at there.

      1. Tualha

        Well…Joyce seems to think that avoiding hell is the only reason not to lie, or more generally, to act ethically. It doesn’t seem to have occurred to her that nontheists might have found other reasons to act ethically, e.g., self-respect, empathy, the golden rule (which predates Christianity), etc.

  36. Notebooked

    She says ‘oh my god’ in the first panel, too.

  37. SHAZAM

    “Oh by the way Dorothy’s family is catholic” (I didn’t make that up did I?)

  38. The Phantom's Belch

    Okay, I need to use the intermission to get more popcorn and Pepsi before the big fight begins. And maybe water a tire while I’m at it.

    Joyce vs her parents? Dorothy vs Joyce’s parents? Dorothy’s parents vs Joyce’s parents? Or maybe one big Last One Standing battle royale between Joyce and Dorothy in one corner, Dorothy’s parents in a second, and Joyce’s parents in a third?

    With Mike and his folks showing up to give commentary. Or maybe Dina and hers (quietest commentary ever!).

    Also, I should point out that it’s not every Christian who goes around telling people they’re going to hell for not believing. It’s the self-righteous holier-than-thou-art Born Again Christian fundamentalists (and some extreme far-right Catholics) who do that. But then, it’s not all “born-again” types; as a Born-Again Pagan, I’m open about my beliefs but I’m not telling people they’re going to be punished after death for not being pagan.

    As it is, I’m fairly certain that if some of these Xtian fundies were born into Hindi or Shinto faiths they’d still be telling non-believers they’ll be punished in whatever means those faiths call for (reincarnated as a dung beetle, maybe?). Half the time, it’s the person’s nature, and the other half (like Joyce) it’s how their parents told them to act! (Sometimes, it’s just the one parent dominating things; the other parent goes “yes, dear”.)

    And I’m rambling.

  39. Rheinman

    Maybe I’m missing the point here, but Dorothy got set up by her mom, who was probably about to out her as an Atheist had she not said something.

    At which point, we could have had Joyce and Dorothy looking on in horror as their parents started shouting at each other.

    That said, we don’t know how Dorothy’s parents fell about her religious views. Maybe they are Catholic, but open minded enough to let Dorothy choose her own path.

    1. Andiemus

      Or they didn’t know it was going to be as big a deal as it is, and just thought they were being nice and saying “oh, I think you’re mistaken”.

  40. Super Duper

    Say it with me now: EXCOMMUNICATION! *wham*

    1. Crimson Doom

      EX-COM-MU-NI-CATE! EX-COM-MU-NI-CAAAAAAAAATE!

      1. Bemmie

        The lesser known 5th member of the cult of Skaro… Dalek Pope

  41. scev

    http://inception.davepedu.com/

  42. AHA

    Who is going to church with Joyce every Sunday? Sienna?

    1. Whittier

      *Sierra. Especially ironic given your userpic. 🙂 That’s who I assumed she meant, though, to the best of my recollection, we’ve only had the one church visit depicted in the strip. However, Sierra was the most amenable of the group to going. Whether the church was amenable to her shoelessness (seriously, is she going to do that when it gets below freezing?) is another story.

  43. Zanosuke_Kurosaki

    I think it’s absolutely adorable how Dorothy’s parents think just because their daughter doesn’t believe in God, it means she can’t or won’t go to Sunday services with a friend. It’s actually really funny when you stop and think about it. XD

    1. partinobodycular

      They only said it’s probably not her. It’s not unreasonable to assume that an atheist is not going to church every week. Once or twice, to check it out? Sure. Every week? Unlikely.

  44. Bo

    There’s only one way this should go down. Thunderdome. Two families enter, two families leave with one of them being humbled somewhat by the whole event.

    1. Rheinman

      I think those rules may violate the original spirit of Thunderdome.

      Sounds more like Minnesota-nice Dome. “Oh, Geezz. Ya. Sorry I beat ‘cha there. No hard feelings, right?”

    2. xKiv

      Two families enter, one double-sized family leaves?

  45. narmenduke

    So wait, did Joyce lie about Dorothy coming to church with her every weekend, or was she just talking about Sierra (or Mary, although I hope not)?

    1. David

      She was talking about Sierra.

    2. Hoboturtle

      Wait, how many weekends have there been?

      1. The Candyman

        4-5, I think.

  46. Fred

    The People demands a panel two poster!

  47. Romanticide

    The bomb has hit… will it explode? At least their faces are shocked already? O.o

  48. zomgvampires

    Are my comments not working? o.o; But oh man it’s ON LIKE DONKEY KONG… or Monkey Master. Or… either way. Love it.

  49. Keroshino

    Umm since when did the comic update on weekends?

    1. The Candyman

      Since now.

    2. MarcinMN

      He’s been updating on the weekends for a few weeks now. Better go back and see if you missed anything!

    3. David

      Since May.

      1. Keroshino

        Oh…My! I have a lot of catching up to do!

  50. MarcinMN

    This makes me wonder. Is Dorothy an atheist raised by atheists? Or is Dorothy an atheist because she made that decision along the way and her parents are believers? If it’s the former, this could get interesting if the two sets of parents get into it over their clashing views…

    1. Josh

      Her parents are pretty non-religious, but all her grandparents are. (I don’t think they’re Joyce level nutjobs though)

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/02-choosing-my-religion/catholic/

  51. Honsuo

    “You’re going to hell regardless.” That’s the motto of my life.

    1. Rheinman

      Takes all the pressure off, doesn’t it?

  52. Josh

    Isn’t there something in the bible about lying?

    1. The Candyman

      That’s the point. If you’re going to Hell no matter what, there’s little reason to worry about these things.

      1. Josh

        Yeah, but encouraging lying is basically the same thing…

        1. DarkVeghetta

          That’s the point/joke.

      2. Roborat

        Wait, but won’t that make your eternal damnation longer?

  53. Foxhack

    I like that Joyce doesn’t care if Dorothy is an atheist and even jokes about it.

    1. The Candyman

      Unless that wasn’t a joke…

      1. Josh

        Yeah… I’m pretty sure that wasn’t a joke.

  54. Fran

    I love how cute and happy looks Dorothy in panel 1. The moment I read it I feel like falling in love with her again <3

  55. Connor

    The funniest part of this for me is “goshdangit.”

  56. Maycroft

    Crap’s gonna blooooooow!!!!

  57. litui

    Unbelievers are always up for a good yoking.

  58. newllend

    Quick grab dorothy and run!

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