297

Bullhonkey
Posted on May 18, 2017 by David M Willis

297 thoughts on “Bullhonkey”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    “also she has Cybersix! WHO DOES THAT”

    1. Ana Chronistic

      wait, is that Whitney McJority

      shit

      1. Emperor Daniel

        damn you willis

        1. butts

          DAAAAAAAAAAMNNNNNN

          YOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUU

      2. Synnerman

        Holy crap, he’s “real!”

        http://walkypedia.wikia.com/wiki/Whitney_McJority

        1. Ana Chronistic

          I still woulda gone w/ Dwight McJority

        2. Schol-R-LEA

          How about Silas McJority? GOP puns for the… ugh, lose.

      3. Arianod

        It’s HIM

    2. Danni

      i need to get cybersix

      1. Shaunock

        Sure thing.

        *6*

        That was great!

    3. Kris

      And a fuck ton of Star Wars stuff…actually now I kinda want to squat at Leslie’s place. She’s spends all her income on geek swag.

      1. Danni

        but does she have batwoman stuff?

    4. Cephalo the Pod

      WOAH, a Cybersix fan!

      Is this serendipity, or is that show just way more popular than for which I give it credit?

      1. Danni

        the popularity is prob due to the opening credits. id heard the episodes arent too spectacular.

        1. Cephalo the Pod

          I watched the first few episodes a while back, and I think they hold up.

        2. Spaz

          Cybersix? What is cybersix?

          *googles*

          *watches opening*

          I now need this in my life.

        3. Spaz

          …..reading this comment thread with one letter in “cybersix” misspelled is hilarious.

        4. Mollyscribbles

          I loved the show, but my father would come into the room to watch the opening credits every time he heard the theme, even though he wasn’t interested in the rest of it.

      2. Kryss LaBryn

        Loved it when it was on TV, so possibly? The crowd here certainly seems to appreciate it. 🙂

        1. Ana Chronistic

          They DID spend a 26-episode budget on 13 episodes, so.

    5. tim gueguen

      I missed my chance years ago to buy Cybersix on DVD.

      1. Ana Chronistic

        My buddy Brady worked on the set! You can hear him talk with Cathy Weseluck!

    6. Alex

      Shiiit, I’d forgotten about Cybersix!.. I was never a huge fan, but I remember really liking the art style, back when I hadn’t recognized my appreciation for such things yet.

  2. AnvilPro

    Where’s Aide when you need him?

    1. Fart Captor

      He’s right there next to Robin! I think he’s lost weight!

      1. Passchendaele

        And gained some color! And even changed his name to a pronoun!

    2. Reltzik

      I think that’s not really [s]Kyle[/s] [s]Aide[/s] You. I think it’s a pale, or at least pastel, parody of [s]Kyle[/s] [s]Aide[/s] You.

      …. maybe a mockery?

      …. satire?

      …. wait, I know! IT’S A LAMP-OON!

      1. merbrat

        *facepalm* GDI Reltzik.

        1. SgtWadeyWilson

          It wasn’t that bad. I laughed… Oh, unless my endorsement makes it worse, in which case… nah, I still laughed.

        2. merbrat

          Oh, I laffed, too! (sorry, the GDI is from two other web comics that several people are always piling onto one very punny person, inc the authors)

      2. K^2

        Puns? Again? Well, at least you did hang a shade on it.

    3. 3oranges

      This aide has no feelings, and was replaced by a much better aide from IKEA.

  3. Emperor Daniel

    . . . so Robin just walked all the way here with that lamp in her hand?

    1. Rosicrucian

      She’s braver than you think!

      1. Cattleprod

        It’s easy to be brave when you have a mighty lamp to fight your enemies with.

    2. Spaz

      without pants, too.

      1. SgtWadeyWilson

        …and now I have the Electro level of Spider-Man Shattered Dimensions stuck in my head.

      2. dralou

        And everybody seems to think nothing of it in her QG. It must be a common occurence.

    3. Reltzik

      It’s not really the walk of shame if you’re shameless.

      ((Obligatory video link, even if that’s not how it happened here.))

      1. Reltzik

        ….. TRYING THAT LINK AGAIN.

      2. Shiro

        …somehow I managed to read this not once, but twice, as “It’s not really the walk of shame if you’re pantsless”

        1. Chris Phoenix

          I used to assume everyone swapped digits sometimes when they read phone numbers. Turned out I was a bit math-dyslexic. You might be slightly dyslexic and not realize it.

          BTW, if anyone here knows anyone who’s dyslexic, check out The Gift of Dyslexia by Ronald D. Davis. In a previous career I used that method, and it’s awesome; even if you don’t do the method, the book has a really interesting take on where dyslexia comes from. (I have no current financial interest in it; I’ve been friends with Ron for over two decades.)

        2. JohnF

          That’s called dyscalculia Chris. And it can be mitigated by kinesthetic learning techniques. I’m an ex-math teacher, continuing maths nerd.

        3. Tomas

          Jubilee of the X-Men has dyscalculia.

        4. BBCC

          So did Liberty on Degrassi.

        5. Chris Phoenix

          I know what it’s called, but I don’t assume everyone else does.

          There are several techniques that seem to work for dyslexia / dyscalculia, but I like Davis the best because it gives the person more control over what their brain is doing.

    4. Tomas

      She’s like a modern day Diogenes, searching for one honest man at Republican Party headquarters.

  4. wheelpath

    Whitney you fucking idiot

    Also, I assume Buffy re-releases aren’t like Star Wars then.

    1. Wack'd

      You haven’t heard about the HD “remasters”, have you.

      1. tim gueguen

        Did they do something silly, like replace as much footage of Buffy as possible with CGI Xander?(Which would make some of the fanbase happy, unfortunately.)

        1. SgtWadeyWilson

          That could be oddly hilarious, esp. if all the voices remained intact. Like Xander’s trying to tell fake stories about how cool he is, but we, the audience, know it was Buffy doing these things.

          On the other hand: I don’t know how I feel about certain scenes with Angel at that p- I’m overthinking this, aren’t I?

        2. Kamino Neko

          There are…a lot of issues.

          The most hilarious of them being a consistent removal of the filters on the day-for-night scenes, leading to vampires hanging around in direct sunlight.

      2. Spaz

        OH MY GOD.

        What have they done to Buffy?

        I just now found out.

  5. Maveric1984

    And she has the black label Star Wars VHS set! Non-Special Edition! Han shoots first!

    1. Rukduk

      My God I would kill for that!

      1. butts

        you’ll have to fite me first

        1. John

          Worse, you’ll have to fight Leslie.

      2. Needfuldoer

        There’s something even better out there…

        1. Chris Phoenix

          I don’t have torrent installed. Am I remembering right that Yoda originally said “No, there is another” and NOT “No, there is another Skywalker”?

        2. David M Willis

          Yoda says “there is another” to Obi-Wan’s ghost in Empire as Luke leaves, and in Return of the Jedi Yoda says “there is another Skywalker” as he dies. These lines were not changed in Special Editions.

      3. Maveric1984

        Eh… They’re not that expensive. You can pick up a set on eBay for less than 5 bucks

  6. Danni

    robin, stop talking, just stop talking

    1. Leorale

      For, like, a year.

      1. Danni

        yes

    2. Reltzik

      ………..

      ….. is it a bad thing that I find her sensible and coherent and logical and kinda pleasant after listening to statements from the White House?

      1. Jason

        It’s sad. It’s very, very sad.
        But only bad in that the situation is bad, not that you are.

        Fuuuuuck the state of the world right now.

      2. Rukduk

        Yes. Yes it is.
        …
        I mean, you’re not wrong about sensibility, logic, and cohesion, but it is not good that this is true. It’s…how shall I phrase this? “So Sad”.

  7. Yumi

    I have all of Buffy the Vampire Slayer on DVD. Should I be worried? Should I set up traps to keep Robin out?

    1. Zach

      No. Robin ha she had her way with them, she is finished wit her your DVDs.

      1. Yumi

        I also have all of Angel.

        1. LeslieBean4Shizzle

          Old sets that take up a ton of shelf space? Me too! ^^

        2. fillerusername

          You know I almost bought the all 5 seasons of angel (the old sets) at goodwill the a week ago but when I opened the cases to check the conditions of the dvd’s 3 out of the 5 sets were missing discs. Like…what kind of asshole donates sets with missing discs? Don’t the poor have enough problems?

        3. smashman42

          My Angel set (in Australia Region 4 so maybe different?) has each season in halves with three discs per half.

          My SG-1 set almost all old chunky 5 case/6 disc per season boxes, then the last season was only available in a damn flat pack with all of them in a teeny normal case ruining the pattern. SG-A is all these little thin two disc wide packs even though the parallel SG-1 seasons are fat packs. SG-U is super thin like SG-1 S10.

          /off topic DVD stuff

        4. CoMa

          This kind of reminds me of how seasons (very often Anime’s, sometimes regular TV series and occasionally even books being translated, like Game of Thrones) are split up over here.
          It’s utter bs and infuriating because they are most often much more expensive than the original (or other translations), or they have only a few episodes on them (Attack on Titan has it’s season divided into 4 volumes, each costing more than the e.g. UK import of the first season as a box (all volumes are about 102$, the UK box is 18,31$). Of course translators and dubbing actors should earn their pay too, but how can this amount to such a difference? (and this doesn’t only apply to anime but other series.)
          /adds to off topic DVD stuff

        5. wwwhhattt

          You wouldn’t believe the stuff charity shops are given. About a month ago a friend who works at one was donated a funeral urn, complete with ashes.

  8. Pigeon Pollyx

    I was…kinda hoping for a little departure away from Robin for a while.

    1. TheAnonymousGuy

      Like finally seeing how far Sarah has taken Joyce’s creepy need to make her real life ships of her friends to break up a perfectly normal couple because she likes the guy and considers the girl a bongo. I seriously JUST remembered that, it having been so long since we’ve seen any of that story line

      1. TheAnonymousGuy

        why does B-I-T-C-H keep getting censored when just about every other word is freely used?

        1. pjeseb

          Willis is too lazy and/or amused to change the filter settings.

        2. Cerberus

          Because it got way overused during the comment thread of a comment that saw a giant explosion of angry sexism. Now the percussion instrument has become a part of the general comment thread culture.

        3. Gesc

          I thought it was for the c-bomb? Or is it for both?

        4. Reltzik

          I think the c-bomb just makes your comment magically vanish into a black-hole of never-got-published-at-all.

        5. Jason

          You know, I always find that weird. Culturally, here, the word is kinda just a swear word. So sometimes I have a “wait, what” about otherwise swear-happy people censoring that word, until I remember that it’s used as a disgusting slur in America.

        6. Rukduk

          I don’t think anyone’s tried using it honestly. Is anyone here from England?

        7. Yumi

          It did show up in the comments at least once fairly recently. I know several posters took issue with it, but I’m not sure if it’s been filtered since then.

        8. Halpful

          I am also amused, I had no idea it was a filter. 🙂

          Also kinda feeling whiplash from the storyline switching, wasn’t it under a week ago we just got back to Ruth?

        9. TheKelliestKelly

          What’s really great is that one of the older strips is now titled “Bongo.” Imagine someone doing their first archive bin of Dumbing of Age and wondering why the hell that’s the name.

        10. BBCC

          It’s not just that word. You also cannot quote a popular phrase regarding Tuesdays and the significance of an event. For the same reason – it got super freaking overused.

        11. Kris

          I’m not even sure it was a Tuesday when the event in question happened.

        12. BBCC

          Also, even if the event in question WAS an important day for Amber, it was not freaking Tuesday for Sal either, unless she was running around robbing WAY more stores than we thought.

        13. Spencer

          The joke is that Amber kept having these massive traumatic reactions to Sal, who just went along her day and called her a weirdo.

        14. Reltzik

          For some people, mixing up an epithet for female dogs and small drums is an unusual event.

          For us, it’s Tuesday.

          …. also every other day of the week.

        15. Reltzik

          ….. seems unfiltered to me.

        16. BBCC

          You gotta do the ‘but for me’ bit first.

        17. Reltzik

          But for me, it was Tuesday?

        18. Reltzik

          …. huh.

          … I dunno how this filter black magic business works.

          I USED to, but right now I’m drawing a blank.

          …

          *flees for dear punning life*

        19. Emperor Daniel

          Is it a blank-et ban on that phrase? 😀

        20. Sunny

          But for me, it was thursday?

        21. TheKelliestKelly

          Spider-Car used to be filtered out too, didn’t it?

  9. DailyBrad

    Pre-“Remaster” butchering? Shit, Robin, you do make a good point.

  10. ValdVin

    That IS the subject, Whitney.

    Notoriously.short attention span? When was this comic penned? It’s scarily apt.

    1. Cephalo the Pod

      Approximately three months ago.

      1. ValdVin

        That explains a few things.

        But even Willis couldn’t predict three months ago how much Robin and Trump share:

        “Conversations with some officials who have briefed Trump and others who are aware of how he absorbs information portray a president with a short attention span.”

        http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-trump-trip-idUSKCN18D0C7

        1. Gwen

          Is it bad if my first reaction to this is relief that we’ve got him off our hands for a couple of days?

        2. Liliaeth

          Not really, considering he’s coming out way 🙁
          I pity our king for having to receive the orange menace

  11. Kris

    Buffy was good. Pretty ground breaking stuff for it’s time.

  12. Cody Connelly

    I find it kind of funny Frieda’s first question wasn’t about Robin’s lack of pants.

    1. Jess

      Right…and in the meantime, why hasn’t Robin put her pants back on??

      I’m ????

    2. MatsuoTanuki

      Which could very well imply this isn’t the first time they’ve encountered her in public places in a state of undress…

      1. Jason

        Yyyyup, that’s my guess. Seems likely to me!

  13. Leorale

    …he’s the news guy from the walkyverse, isn’t he.

    1. Emperor Daniel

      He’s tagged as “Whitney”, which probably means that he’s Shortpacked! character Whitney McJority.

    2. BBCC

      Nope, he’s the guy who complained about Shortpacked hiring folks who weren’t white dudes.

    3. Leorale

      Oh man, you’re right.
      http://www.shortpacked.com/index.php?id=1863

      (I was thinking of Bart O’Ryan, I think his name was, made younger.)

      1. Rukduk

        …Oh for fuck’s sake…he’s the current Republican Party distilled into one person with that thinking.

        1. Reltzik

          ……

          … okay, I’m having trouble wrapping my brain around “distilled Republican Party” and “thinking” in the same sentence.

        2. Rukduk

          Just include the word “not” in there, and all your problems will subside. Just make sure it is “not” and not “knot” otherwise you find out disturbing things about several senators’ browser histories that you didn’t want to know.

      2. zoelogical

        fuck that dude

  14. Shiro

    Is Whitney that one Shortpacked customer who dreamed the store was entirely staffed by straight white dudes? (I’ve been rereading)

    1. John

      Yep.

      1. Cerberus

        Eerily well suited to be a Republican strategist/campaign manager then.

        1. Rukduk

          After just reading the link posted above, I’m a little surprised he tolerates working for a Latina woman though.

        2. zoelogical

          i mean like. he can hate her and work with her at the same time

          especially if she brings stuff to the campaign that other people can’t/don’t

          like…diversity i guess

    2. Jason

      Cisgender squishy straight white males.
      …Wait, do we think Whitney (and men like him) would have issues with androids? If they looked white and male and acted straight? Or would he prefer them to be asexual so he doesn’t have to feel threatened by a robot?
      …Hmmm.

      1. Rukduk

        He’d want them to not have skin so that the machines would know there place and be unable to infiltrate his socio-political demographic.

        1. Leorale

          Robots are takin’ our jobs.

  15. ValdVin

    You think it’s the first time Robin is wearing fewer clothes than customary? I can envision it happening before.

    1. John

      I would not be surprised if at some point she’s had to be physically restrained from showing a camera #desantohugehonkers.

      1. ValdVin

        I had honestly forgotten about that. So for the sake of (what’s left of her) dignity I’m grateful she still has on as many ounces of fabric as she does.

    2. BenRG

      I don’t know. I think that ‘Political Robin’ and ‘Real Robin’ have a lot of different behavioural characteristics. I imagine that, around home and ‘off duty’, she’s a lot less formal and may even routinely go around half-dressed. I mean… on her own in her own place, why shouldn’t she?

  16. fillerusername

    Holy shit really? I need to check my complete series set.

  17. Dana

    Finally, Robin is making sense. I thought she hadn’t learned anything!

  18. The Mad Academic

    Hi Robin!

  19. BBCC

    *flips off every person in this strip*

  20. Fart Captor

    Nobody is acknowledging Robin’s lack of pants.
    Nobody is asking why she’s dragging a lamp around.

    This is not a new experience for anyone in this room.

    1. Cephalo the Pod

      Rather, Robin’s appearance is not striking for someone who is currently embroiled in a huge political scandal and has been in hiding for several days.

      1. Reltzik

        Also, the pics have been on the intertubes for, like, 15 minutes now. Old news.

  21. Passchendaele

    “GOD you’ve probably wasted $200 on getting all the special features and new DVDs, good thing I’m here to remind you of your mistakes.” *Huge eye roll*

  22. butts

    so whitney’s in politics

    fuck

    1. Reltzik

      Yup. The difference between Shortpacked! and Dumbing of Age is that DoA takes place in a terrifying, grim, dystopian world called “reality”.

      1. Rukduk

        …Does this mean that Germany and Japan get a chance at redemption by saving the world from the US and Russia? Because that would be so many layers of irony.

  23. Kensou

    Buffy on Blu-ray when

    1. fillerusername

      I don’t think Buffy on blu ray would end up looking that great actually.

      1. Gesc

        High quality jay pegs tho.

      2. butting

        I dunno, it was shot on film and the crew REALLY knew what they were doing.

        Whether the remastering team would respect that or would just crop everything to 16×9 “for your convenience” though, yeah.

        (but, um. the effects? they were kinda generated on the cheap with broadcast-quality in mind, and that goalpost has shifted a LOT since them. uh. I think you’re right.)

        1. Needfuldoer

          They could treat the original footage as anamorphic 16:9 and just stretch the picture horizontally.

          Seriously though, the question is how many remastered sets will they sell, and at what price point to cover the costs? When they took TNG to HD they re-transferred as much original film as they could find and remade all the original special effects. (They even recreated that compositing mistake in the intro, where the Saturn-like planet goes off the right of the screen and takes all the stars inside its rings with it.) Yeah it looks great but the Blu-Rays are expensive!

        2. butting

          Same problem as The Wire, though: the early series were only protected 4:3. So what’s outside of frame is generally set and/or crew.

          If any adjustments get done, I’d much rather they were to Xander.

      3. Kamino Neko

        It would have, since the original films still exist, if the HD remastering wasn’t horribly botched. (At least based on the TV version…I don’t know if they were ever sent to BluRay, and if so, whether they fixed these mistakes.)

        Filters not reapplied, leading to altered mood at best, vampires in sunlight at worst.

        They didn’t crop episodes filmed at 16:9, but intended to be aired at 4:3, leading to a lot of revealing errors. Or continuity glitches, such as when the Master is standing at the edge of the screen when he was supposed to be invisible (he would have been just out of frame if it had been cropped properly).

        Or worse…they did crop them…to smaller 16:9.

        Special effects were completely altered (dusting), badly upscaled (game face morphs), or forgotten altogether (Inca Mummy Girl mummifying).

        Alternate takes were used for certain scenes, leading to continuity errors.

  24. Synnerman

    Robin uses Word Salad Attack!

    Whitney fails his save!

    1. pjeseb

      Robin’s Discombobulate attack roll: 15.

      It’s super effective!

    2. Cephalo the Pod

      GOP used Imprison!
      Robin can’t use moves the opponent knows!
      Robin used Chatter!
      It’s not very effective…
      GOP became confused!

  25. caesaria82

    Oh now you’re speaking my language! I had the old Buffy boxsets that were, like, two sets per season. So you had season 3 part 1 and season 3 part 2 as two seperate boxsets and they were legit bulky, too. Oh man, early 2000s DVDs. Good times.

    1. fillerusername

      Can you tell me if the older dvd’s would have different special features than my complete series set? I bought it after they added buffy to netflix so I’ve never actually needed to check them out yet.

      1. caesaria82

        As far as I remember (I sold them quite some years ago, so I can’t check), they didn’t have a TON of special features. I was mainly in it for the commentaries when it came to specials. I loved those and there were quite a lot of them, for many of the episodes! (audio commentaries are the one thing I miss about streaming vs DVDs, honestly, as I’ve never really been a snob about HD quality or w/e, but maaaaan commentaries!)

        So yeah, those were the main features I remember. There were some featurettes too, making-ofs and stuff, but not as many. And I can’t compare it to the complete set, which I’ve never owned. So sorry if I was no help lol.

        1. fillerusername

          It’s okay. Honestly the fact that they don’t stream special features is the only thing keeping me from switching over to streaming exclusively.

    2. Jason

      … I had cassettes. Each season was maybe a foot wide, maybe a little less. (It was a loooong time ago.)
      I guess it’s just the way of Buffy to make buying the physical media take up an absurd amount of space?

      1. Leorale

        I got Buffy chiseled onto tablets, which arrived by Pony Express. It was chronologically confusing and took up half a stable.

  26. Tacos

    Sooo… did Robin just walk back the entire way without any pants?

    1. Reltzik

      She HAD pants (in hand) when she left Leslie’s house. She must have misplaced them along the way.

      ….. so the answer to your question is “no”, but have a whole lot more questions in its place.

  27. Mr. Random

    …huh. So that’s how she was able to get elected.
    She’s a master at misdirection.

    1. missilentmurmur

      It’s almost as if she wanted to show to her staff how her disappearance should have been handled…. Nah I don’t think Robin is capable of being that focused

    2. BenRG

      I think that you’re wrong. That isn’t misdirection; it’s a master-class in how her brain actually works on an everyday basis!

      1. thejeff

        I do wonder if some of the difference of opinion on Robin here is based on this distinction: Is she actually intentionally a master at misdirection or does her brain really just work like that?

        I’m in the “her brain really just works like that” camp and it makes it really hard for me to take her seriously as a villain. Or to believe she ever made it as a politician.

        1. Liliet

          same

      2. Mr. Random

        I’m not saying she’s doing it intentionally.
        She’s just kinda like that.
        But she, being herself, is very good at redirecting people.

  28. JessWitt

    Oh gods, it’s Whitney Jerkface from the other universe.

    And yeah I can’t be bothered to recall his last name.

    1. Reltzik

      McJority. It’s like a majority of, well. Him.

  29. Cephalo the Pod

    It’s fuckin’ eerie how parallel this is with current events.

    1. JessWitt

      The WH is arguing over Buffy DVDs too?

      1. Spaz

        “The Remastered Buffy DVDs are the best ever, no question. Old versions are lame. Sad.”

        1. Reltzik

          “Ignore the fake liberal media. No story here. I just thought to myself, how can I manipulate the market to raise the value of Putin’s stock in 20th Century Fox, so I tweeted that. No big conspiracy. #FakeNews #SexyHighSchoolers”

        2. Rukduk

          I have only one question: does Putin own stock in 20th century Fox? If so, I expect this tweet to come from the president on,…let’s say Saturday.

        3. Reltzik

          I know, right? How do you even satirize the White House any more? It’s the death of comedy!

          …. okay, okay, maybe we can salvage comedy. I mean, we can’t satirize TRUMP, but perhaps the people stuck working with him?

          What if we put together a comedy skit where aides are slipping fake news on his desk in a contest to see just how bonkers a thing they can make him tweet about, where he starts deporting family members of people who voted for him, and where his press secretary is so traumatized by the whiplash experience of trying to spin for the President that he hides from reporters in the bushes?

        4. Reltzik

          *where INS starts deporting etc

        5. Rukduk

          I think the first part of that sketch might be the only part that hasn’t happened in reality. Maybe. Hell, for I know they’re actively giving him false intel since the NSA won’t give anything to him. No the sketch has to involve a byrning White House, a circus made of Congress with Paul Ryan as a ringleader, and Putin giving a ventriloquist act with a puppet that looks exactly like Trump, all while Bernie Sanders is angrily shouting “I warned you!” to a weeping Uncle Sam.

        6. Reltzik

          First Part of that sketch.

        7. Reltzik

          Meanwhile, I think the only parts wrong with YOUR sketch is that the White House is not literally on fire.

          …. yet.

        8. Rukduk

          @Reltzik oh goddamnit

        9. thejeff

          It will be amusing in 20 years or so when we find out that the intelligence agencies were running classic disinformation campaigns on Russia by feeding Trump false information.

          I mean, it’s the textbook thing to do when you find you have a mole in your organization.

        10. Spaz

          @Reltzik I like to think that Trump has accidentally set fire to something in the kitchen (hot pockets for too long, metal in the microwave, etc), just to complete this particular scenario

        11. zoelogical

          i mean isn’t that saturday night live’s gig right now

      2. BenRG

        Nah; DJT prefers Charmed to Buffy.

        1. Zer0

          Donnie probably thinks Buffy was “That werewolf story that Andrew Jackson wrote during the Civil War. Classic.”

  30. Stephen Bierce

    *plays Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers’ “Free Fallin'” on the hacked Muzak*

  31. Rukduk

    But…they didn’t actually make out at the bar…*sigh* nevermind, with the news the way it is no one cares about the facts really. Also…at least Robin’s acknowledging Leslie’s basic humanity (and superior taste in fiction tv series) maybe? Yay?…And is Whitney going to reveal tomorrow that he’s the replacement candidate for the Republicans?

    1. Cephalo the Pod

      I’m pretty sure that’s in reference to when they made out at Leslie’s house.

    2. Cerberus

      For homophobes, interlocking fingers and close faces might as well be making out half-naked while shouting “death to all Christians”.

      1. fillerusername

        Being on the subject of Buffy I’m just remembering all those scenes of Willow/Tara interlocking fingers and doing spells as a metaphor for sex.

      2. Reltzik

        About 10 years ago, an angry homophobic preacher with a bullhorn came to my college campus.

        While the campus cops were working up the courage to go after him (for using a bullhorn), two female friends of mine went to stand about twenty feet in front of him and started making out. (On principle — only one of them was a lesbian.)

        His reaction was… unhinged.

        1. Rukduk

          Damn those two were brave. Also, very devoted to their principles. Also, that preacher should have gone and fucked himself.

        2. Reltzik

          Liberal campus, liberal city. If he’d tried anything more than yelling, there were three dozen students on hand just WAITING for an excuse to beat him down.

        3. Cerberus

          It’s a good method. I did similar stuff when the homophobes came to my campus back when I was in college. It really makes them go apeshit.

          Another good method is shouting back to homophobic harassers about how Jesus was a trans man.

          I was a lot more brave back in the day.

        4. Reltzik

          Wow, yeah, I can see how that would rile….

          ….. wait, is that trans-Jesus thing just for trolling, or is it a legit Biblical interpretation I’d never heard of before? Because after you blew my mind with The Matrix being trans, I kinda have to ask that about everything now.

        5. Rukduk

          No biblical or historical evidence to say yes…but none to say no either. Then again, it’s been a while since I last checked into this. Makes sense to me though.

        6. Anowan

          Is it this genetic theory where Mary, being virgin, must have reproduced by parthenogenesis and obviously couldn’t invent a Y chromosome from nowhere so her baby must have been XX ?

          Well, she was supposed to be impregnated by the (idea of God ? I never understood the Holy Spirit deal), so someone THAT religious could defend that chromosomes may have been created from nowhere. Or that Jesus didn’t have chromosomes for he was above them or I DON’T KNOW.

          It’s good trolling though.

        7. Cerberus

          Yup.

          Like, it was trolling I suppose because I didn’t and don’t believe in Jesus and think he’s just a character in a story, but Jesus as written in the bible if he existed would very likely be a trans man because yeah, very unlikely to have a Y chromosome (cause small possibility that Mary was a trans woman or AIS or intersex), so maybe you could get La Chapelle going on to be assigned male at birth, but most likely he would be assigned female at birth.

          And yeah, in my mind if he was born “above chromosomes”, I’d see that as assigned agender or assigned God at birth and well, he definitely in the Bible seems to consistently identify as a human man and has a lot of discomfort with his demigod status, so still trans man in my opinion.

          Also makes him disappearing for a while make a lot of sense, take care of some dysphoria and transition stuff, come to a land where few are to remember his specific past, be able to be the fully seen as the man he always was.

          Like, if I was a believer, I’d be 100% behind the trans Jesus interpretation.

          I’m also of the opinion that if he was real he’d be aro ace and super queer-friendly. I mean, he meets a bunch of dude fishermen folks on the docks who really like to exclusively hang out with other dudes and speak reverently about each other (so apostles are very likely queer men) and a sex worker who he is close to but is super queer-platonic with and with whom none of the apostles show any real interest in.

          I mean, this was the sort of stuff that was leaping out at me when I was reading the Bible. I’m actually surprised it’s not a more common interpretation, though I do remember convincing a few of my Christian friends back in the day that Jesus was ace.

        8. Leorale

          My favourite theory is that Mary and Joseph were like a Levarite marriage (where your first husband died without giving you any heirs to take care of you, so your brother-in-law acts as a stand-in, and the kid totally counts as the dead husband’s child).
          Joseph stood in for God, type of thing.
          But it’s not real to me anyway, so it’s just fun.

        9. Leorale

          (And yes Jesus as written probably wouldn’t have minded queer people. That’s mainly Paul’s doing. Friggin’ Paul.)

        10. Cephalo the Pod

          I think it has to do with the fact that Jesus doesn’t…really…have a biological father?

          Like, he only has genetics from a parent with XX chromosomes. No Y chromosomes. So, he’d be DFaB. Not sure how transitioning would work in Biblical Times, but I’m sure if the technology wasn’t available, then the Lord could help out.

          Of course, all of this is assuming that God wouldn’t just zap a Y chromosome into Mary during Immaculate Conception.

        11. Cerberus

          Well, it’s Roman times so there was some stuff. Like early Roman trans women would drink the urine of pregnant mares to basically get a dose of estrogen. I’m sure there was some equivalent for testosterone. Beyond that, it’s mostly presentation and there were plenty of cases in history of folks presenting their whole lives as their most likely gender and only being “discovered” after death.

          And Jesus bails out on that whole phase by nopeing out of the cave. Maybe that’s what “brought him back” so temporarily in the story: not wanting to be misgendered by folks deciding he was actually a girl based on ignorant opinions on his body.

        12. Cerberus

          Though trans girl Mary would make sense as well. Definitely cover why Joshua wouldn’t even blink and think Mary cheated on her. Like, my wife is pregnant? Yes, of course, ha ha, my wife is capable of that without divine intervention. *nervous sweat drop*

        13. Rukduk

          Oh my god that awkward conversation is playing in my head and it is hilarious.
          Joseph: Wait, your pregnant?!?
          Mary: I guess the Lord also gave me a womb and corresponding body parts. I mean, I checked.
          Joseph: So you don’t have to deal with being in the wrong body anymore? That’s awesome!
          Mary: Wait, what do we do about a fact we haven’t moved in together yet?
          Joseph: I’ll make something up about an angel. They’ll believe that.
          …
          You know, that actually makes for a much better story than what actually got written down.

        14. thejeff

          I dunno, even without the trans part, it always sounded to me like Mary was covering for getting pregnant before marriage – either to Joseph for having slept with someone else or to their families for doing it before the actual ceremony.

          Of course, it’s really probably a mistranslation from the Hebrew.

        15. Rukduk

          Hmm…Yep, I’m willing to believe that Jesus was a trans man. Makes even more sense as to why the Pharisees and Romans would want him dead. At the very least, I’m willing to bet that at least one of the Apostles was gay. Most likely James or John. Maybe Judas Thaddeus or Stephen.

        16. Reltzik

          Peter was pretty jealous of anyone who competed with him for Jesus’s affections.

          …. but I’d guess that all of that had more to do with sycophancy.

        17. Leorale

          Before I knew that euphemisms had changed in the time between Old and New testaments, I found it notable that a bunch of dudes hung out in a desert washing each other’s “feet”.

        18. Rukduk

          Well, now that I think about it, four of the apostles were very fit fishermen, and all of them ended up doing a ton of cross-country walking, and two brothers are nicknamed “the Sons of Thunder”, which sounds more like a pro-wrestling team or that Greek people thought they looked like demigods…In hindsight Jesus and his apostles were probably the sexy early to mid thirties hippies of their day, weren’t they.

      3. zoelogical

        wait isn’t that just being galpals

    3. Liliet

      (Robin never denied gay people basic humanity, what she denied was the severity of consequences of homophobia to them)

  32. tim gueguen

    And Robin found her true political cause, fighting the evil DVD remaster conspiracy.

    1. fillerusername

      If she decides to also fight companies refusal to release popular cartoon series on dvd/bluray to force people into paying for streaming she might actually win some points with me.

      Like…5 points. Out of 10 billion.

      1. fillerusername

        I fucking want my gravity falls and steven universe blu rays.

      2. Pl0x

        Is that they won’t release DVDs? 🙁 So streaming gets them more money because it’s continuous, right?

        I’d love to have DVDs of SU. I like the sense of ownership.

        1. vlademir1

          At least as of the end of season 2 you couldn’t even find legal streaming for more than the first half of season 1 (on Hulu) and the last seven or eight episodes of the second season (on the CN website) in the NA market.
          On the Blu Ray and DVD side, there is an official Season 1 DVD encoded for region 4 and official Season 1 and Season 2 Blu Rays (well, S2 is being released next week) encoded for region B available on the Australian market from Madman. North America (Region 1 DVD and Region A Blu Ray) has at this point not got any word to suggest we’ll see DVDs or Blu Rays.

        2. Pl0x

          I’m in Asia :(( It could be on Amazon…but I doubt they would ship it to my country.

        3. Pl0x

          Also I didn’t understand what dvd regions were but i do now.

        4. Krys Brynhildr

          Generally it seems a lot of USA made cartoons seem to think that noone would ever want a proper season boxset these days.

          I mean usually My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic gets seasonal dvds…by which I mean they slap a bunch of random episodes together with one of them fitting some sort of holiday theme and call it a day. Pretty sure Itunes is the main legitimate way to purchase a real season of those….one episode at a time.

          But hey, Hasbro doesn’t actually make real shows, they just fund TV Season length toy commercials. I guess.

  33. Cephalo the Pod

    Is Robin’s campaign team just going to be riddled with Shortpacked’s one/two-shot customers?

  34. Keulan

    Nice to see Robin’s focusing on the important things, instead of worrying about her tanking campaign.

  35. Black Bumblebee

    Robin likes Buffy? My respect for her just increased 10 fold.

    1. fillerusername

      Liking something that millions of people also like doesn’t excuse horrific actions. Also she learned nothing from it so it was wasted on her.

    2. Eldritch Gentleman

      0 times 10 is still 0 though…

  36. fillerusername

    They didn’t bring up the tweets.

  37. John

    So what’s Huge Asshat running for?

    1. Cerberus

      Sheriff?

  38. Gesc

    There’s like a million other things I wanted to see other than Robin failing at basic human interaction once again.

    Even if she does have a point. If you squint and pretend only Robin is speaking.

  39. darkoneko

    …she didn’t put her pants back on.

    1. zoelogical

      she’s set the pants free

  40. Cerberus

    Comic Reactions:

    Panel 2: And all that hiding from reality, all that pretending that what was happening wasn’t happening didn’t stop reality from existing. And a situation that was bad but fixable to become completely catastrophic (from the perspective of Robin’s campaign).

    And there’s a strong political message there. Given how much we’ve allowed conspiracy theorists to take over one of our major parties. And how much powerful forces think they can hit the snooze alarm indefinitely on the ever-dwindling middle-class, on giving long-suffering groups their rights, on things like climate change.

    Reality at the end of the day exists whether you believe in it or not. And that face on Robin as she faces that, as she sees herself abandoned and stands there still pantsless, still carrying a stolen lamp grappling with the fact that her campaign and US Representative gig are over once and for all.

    And well, it might make me Roz-like, but I have a hard time feeling that bad about this, because Robin’s platform, her party, her actions on the hill have been actively harmful to others. Are something that needed to be stopped, not least of all if Robin ever hopes to actually grow she needs to accept the real with regards to her feelings or finding out what her actual beliefs and values are deep down inside. What she actually cares about. Who she actually exists.

    In the meantime, in this political climate? I’m not inclined to give Republican politicians in this political climate much of a pass given what they’ve engineered and let wrought on us all out of sheer hatred for anyone who wasn’t a cis straight white man.

    Panel 3: Ah homophobe inflation. I’ve experienced it many times before. Any type of even very mild attraction actions gets blown up into way bigger than it is. Resting a head on a partner’s shoulder, becomes a “disgusting display” that’s “not acceptable in front of children”. A chaste kiss becomes “pawing at each other”. Interlocking some hands becomes “making out”.

    So of course her campaign interprets a very chaste scene with a lot of chemistry as public making out. And yeah, stalking the woman in question and hiding in her house was never going to do her any favors. Nor was coming out in only a shirt that she clearly didn’t wear into the house.

    Again, she’s done. Like, not in a way that’ll have any real economic or job prospect consequences, but definitely in this political position or having much of a political backing by the party going forward.

    Panels 4-5: And yet, Robin can’t fully accept it, nor can she accept the responsibility for the ways in which she fucked up, which are fairly myriad. So instead she does her best skill, derailing the conversation on a side path where she can try and steamroll over an attempt to stay on a conversation topic that makes her uncomfortable.

    And again, that’s the central tragedy of Robin. She’s so good at weaponizing her randomness and stubbornness. But none of that changes reality. Makes her straight. Makes her actions never have happened. Makes her mistakes any less costly. Makes her votes any less harmful.

    And this might be the point where she learns that this trick isn’t actually magic, it’s just a gish gallop and eventually reality takes its ugly toll. Maybe this is the point she needs to accept that and grow from that. Or maybe this is where she digs herself harder into her fantasies.

    Either way, only she can dictate where she goes from here. Because it’s definitely not to anywhere in the medium term other than conceding to Manley.

    1. Reltzik

      Actually, denial of reality might just keep her running as an independent.

      (Er…. kinda independent. She’s still a Republican nominee, just… not endorsed. I’m guessing that ballots are already printed.)

      And given that she is an incumbent, she’d have a shot.

      1. thejeff

        Well, it’s still early October, IIRC. That means we’ve got ~4 years of her as a candidate and basically eternity with her still in office.

        Unless she actually drops out of the race and/or resigns.

        Narratively, assuming her arc continues, she’s going to have to change drastically before we reach the election.

    2. Sam

      I am slightly pleased that Robin is at least angry about them trying to demonise Leslie here by acting like kissing her on camera and spending any time in her house automatically makes them ‘bad’ and ‘scandalous’.

      1 point for Robin. She still needs to earn about 70 more with specific target required points to make up for all the stuff she did to Leslie and somewhat to Becky too though.

      1. Gwen

        And that’s not even starting on all the things she did as an actual legislator.

      2. JBento

        That’s not anger at Leslie-demonising (there is no demonising of Leslie; no-one in that campaign gives a flying fuck about Leslie); that’s Robin defending her making-out (that didn’t happen) in an attempt to salvage her career – “sure, I made out with her, but she’s cool, not like those other lesbians who don’t like cool things, so it’s okay I made out with her and I should definitely keep my job where I defend legislation to fuck lesbians over.”

        1. thejeff

          Her staff doesn’t give a flying fuck about Leslie, but Robin does – in her own fucked up way. She’s defending Leslie as much as her self here.

        2. Cerberus

          I read that too. The campaign really couldn’t care less, but it feels to Robin like it could be an attack on Leslie, so Robin finds herself “defending” her in her own way before going into standard denialism stuff.

          Plus, I think it also feeds into her tangential rant. No, we weren’t gal-pallin’, she’s just super awesome and pretty and I find myself stalking her for two days and refusing to leave her house while I peruse her everything in a desperate attempt to deny the confused way she makes me feel.

        3. StClair

          … as normal, totes straight people do.

  41. AgentKeen

    Dammit, Whitney, have you even read her platform?!?!?

    1. vlademir1

      In all honesty probably not. Likely Robin hasn’t either, it’ll just be the standard party line platform with maybe one or two extra lines. With either of the big two no one typically reads those, including the voters.

  42. Arianod

    In which Robin proceeds to confuse, befuddle and strong-arm her whole party into endorsing her again.

    1. Reltzik

      That would be completely unprecedented in the history of the Republican Party.

      COMPLETELY.

      1. Arianod

        Yeah, well. Of course it could never happen in real life :v

  43. BenRG

    “Well, if Robin did it because Leslie is a sci-fi nerd and has all the best box sets…? Well, that’s alright then!” — Jeff Cardwell

    This is probably me but I’m wondering how long it took Robin to come up with that ‘justification’ on her way back to the office. I’m also wondering how long it will be until someone mentions that she’s still pantless!

    1. thejeff

      Probably between panels 3 & 4. She opened her mouth and words came out.

      1. JBento

        Standard (okay, universal) Robin MO, then?

    2. Halpful

      I’m wondering if she’s still not wearing shoes.

  44. missilentmurmur

    After “That’s how” I thought she was going to say something like “That’s how you should’ve changed the discourse about my disappearance!”

  45. Bagge

    I have to hand it to Robin – that is an EPIC second panel

    1. CoMa

      Hmm, to me she somehow looks as if she’s fighting tears in the second panel…(might be because her mouth looks slightly wavy). Might also be just my screen….

      1. Nico

        Agree with you, actually. She looks at least very distressed/betrayed to me.

        1. Cerberus

          Yeah, she’s definitely genuinely hurting there and just defeated and at the end of her rope.

          Like it’s a bad rope she needs to jump off of, but I can definitely empathize with how hurt she is to be losing that rope, especially as she’s being unceremoniously tossed off it in disgrace.

  46. Charles RB

    Robin really doesn’t seem to understand how her job and/or party wot she’s been in for years _works_ (or is doing the “but it can’t happen to ME” thing)

  47. Vulcanodon

    I notice she didn’t mention Steven Universe.

    1. takashid

      i was thinking about that too. Its like some sort of weird nerd version of no homo, she doesnt mention she watched su, she tells them she watched buffy.

  48. Eldritch Gentleman

    It kind of terrifies me that an idiot like Robin got elected and had a meaningful effect on people’s lives. To call her Malicious would be probably a compliment. She is an ignorant, lazy idiot who just puts in the least amount of effort and refuses to think of anything that could take her out of her comfort zone…

    1. JBento

      *looks at the current POTUS*

      It’s the FICTIONAL version that terrifies you?

      1. Vulcanodon

        Did say “an idiot like Robin”

      2. Eldritch Gentleman

        Well I’m not from US and I think my country (Poland) has it worse. Our entire Government (both legislative and executive bits) is in the hands of a Trump-like guy who is undermining the democratic system to get all the power and trying to turn into a Dictator. Compared to that Trump is more of a joke who probably won’t survive till the end of his term.

        1. Bagge

          Ouch, yeah, you guys have it rough. I know more than one person from Poland who moved to another country for what was supposed to be just a few years, but have decided to maybe not move back.

        2. Eldritch Gentleman

          The real tragedy of my country is that… there is no one to vote for. They are all, without an exception a band of lying thieves… like politicians everywhere I guess.

        3. Jason

          Yeah, but the spectrum of lying, stealing politicians goes from “will pick your pocket for the change for a sammich and tell you it probably won’t rain tomorrow” to “will steal everything you own and convince you to attack the homeless person who totally for real did it”. So, uh, I guess my point is that it’s okay to feel angry and/or upset/whatever else you feel no matter where on that spectrum the politicians you have to deal with fall.

        4. Eldritch Gentleman

          Well in Poland it’s more like “Will steal and get corrupted by mostly everyone” and “Will steal and get corrupted by mostly everyone and will tell you it’s a good thing.”

  49. Quintessential Defenestration

    The real reason people would prefer older dvds is that the remasters of Buffy are HORRIBLE. They moved it to widescreen, which now means that sometimes actors who were supposed to disappear, but were just standing out of frame, are now visible, or that you can see the boom mike and crew, etc. Also nighttime scenes were not recoloured and are now daytime. It’s a mess.

  50. JMP

    Robin was only at Leslie’s house for two days?

  51. Paul1963

    Wait, Leslie went all the way to the nearest GOP HQ with no pants on, while carrying a lamp marked “AIDE YOU”?
    Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the next Attorney General of the United States.

    1. Cerberus

      … The sad part is that would be an immense improvement over the racist treasonous elf we currently have…

      1. Rukduk

        At this point, I’ve come to feel that calling Sessions an elf or gnome is offensive to the fae. I mean, sure they kidnap children and drive people mad and sometimes put people into a deep sleep for decades, but at least they aren’t racist about it.

        1. Scar Man!!!

          they are kinda speciest though, always going on about us humans being clumsy , ugly mayflies.

        2. Rukduk

          Yeah, but at least it’s an equal hate.

    2. Bicycle Bill

      That’s Robin carrying the lamp and showing a lot of leg, not Leslie.

  52. BBCC

    Just a reminder for you guys to get comments in while you can for net neutrality. The FCC’s been helping people fill out their 17-108. Call if you can, number is on the website.

    1. Delicious Taffy

      What’s this all about? I’ve tried looking it up, but I keep getting conflicting answers. I’m not sure what net neutrality is, either.

      1. JBento

        Basically, net neutrality means that your internet provider has to give you the same access speed to every site. Let us imagine that your web provider also has a streaming site, similar (but in competition with) Netflix. Laws ensuring net neutrality mean that your internet provider can’t make it so their streaming site works faster and Netflix slower, thereby making THEIR service more attractive in a way that has nothing to do with the quality of said service in detriment of Netflix.

        If you want, John Oliver has made not one, but two episodes of Last Week Tonight dedicated to it that are available on YouTube (and, thanks to enforced net neutrality, your internet provider can’t make YouTube slower in comparison to their hypothetical own video upload service).

        1. Delicious Taffy

          Wait, so, net neutrality is basic business ethics, applied to internet service providers? And this is a thing we have to fight for?

        2. JBento

          The guy currently in charge of the FCC agrees with you: he says that it’s so obviously basic business ethics that you don’t even need legislation for it, you can just trust the companies! I mean, whenever DID trusting big money to make the ethical call ever go wrong?

          Look, you (the general you, not the personal you) let Republicans get into positions of power, this is what you get in return.

          2018 is right around the corner, people – don’t let the outrage die until then, and do something about it. Let this whole dumpsterfire be a teaching moment. Your new Secretary (or whatever) of Education means there’s precious few teaching in the horizon.

        3. Fart Captor

          Business ethics basically boil down to “whatever you can get away with”

          The big providers like Comcast have been pushing a big misinformation campaign lately.

          Trying to convince people that:
          – Removing Title II provisions won’t weaken it (it would)
          – That legislation is the better way to secure it and of course we should get rid of the regulation first and pass that law later (even if the law came first, laws take far too long to keep up with the industry and lawmakers are much easier to legally bribe)

          Basically trying to convince people there’s noooooothing to worry about

        4. JBento

          Pay no attention to the big bag of money that I’m handing to the man behind the curtain.

  53. Spencer

    I hate you so much Robin.

  54. Delicious Taffy

    Had to look up who the hell Whitney is. I already don’t like him, based solely on his previous incarnation. So, I guess that makes me prejudiced against a white guy.

    1. Delicious Taffy

      Also, Robin looks downright unhinged in that 4th panel.

      1. Delicious Taffy

        Also also, in the second panel, that sign says “HUG ASS”.

        1. JBento

          I can see another “A” at the end of “ASS,” so clearly the sign is telling you to “HUG ASSASSINS”. Because killers-for-hire need love, too.

        2. Delicious Taffy

          Alternatively, the sign could be calling for Hug Assassins, assassins who hug their victims to death.

        3. JBento

          ‘Cuddlers are AMATEURS!’

    2. StClair

      That means you’re the real racist.
      totally.

      1. Delicious Taffy

        He’s also presumably straight, which means I’m heterophobic on top of it all. Will my transgressions never cease!?

        1. JBento

          You still need to punch a Nazi, I think.

        2. Delicious Taffy

          It would hurt more if I pretended to befriend one, earn its trust, and betray that friendship by stealing the hidden Nazi gold from its house.

        3. JBento

          Though I will not deny that there is a crispiness to Nazi tears that makes them extra-delicious, your current plan seems to require you to spend a large amount of non-punching time with a Nazi, and I cannot therefore condone it.

        4. Delicious Taffy

          On the other hand, I might have a chance to turn it to the side of good. Y’know, since we’re living in a fantasy world where I’m swindling a Nazi for its Nazi gold.

        5. Scar Man!!!

          we’ll forgive you if you give the gold back to the Jews he stole it from

  55. chris73

    Can someone (Frieda) please just slap Robin, one decent slap right might just cause her stfu (for a little while anyway)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0GW0Vnr9Yc

  56. Deviant

    Pants?
    Gondor has no pants. Gondor NEEDS no pants!

  57. Makkabee

    This is Robin’s finest moment in DoA.

  58. ValdVin

    “Offerman for County Commissioner”: Just the sliiiiightest nod to the actor playing a Pawnee government employee?

    1. David M Willis

      No. Knox Offerman is a Shortpacked! character. His portrait among those on the wall.

      1. ValdVin

        If I’d read Shortpacked! more closely I’d have known that. Time for a full re-read, I guess.

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