It took me 5 weeks in highschool before I talked to the girl who would become my best friend tthroughout high school.
Even then, I think she initiated the first conversation. She is also kind of an introvert, but I’m on an entirely new level of introvert. To the point of panic attacks when around more the 3-4 people.
I thought I was bad as an introvert… Until I met my boyfriend. I have mild social anxiety but he have it in overdrive so, we stay home and live our best life together.
So who’s having more difficulty opening up to their crush, Carla or Sarah?
Maybe they could solve this by teaming up and trading problems. Sarah will just walk up to Charlie and tell her that Carla likes her. Might take fifteen minutes or so to get Charlie’s attention, but she’ll get there in the end.
Meanwhile Carla will swipe all the data from every device Jacob has ever used or walked past, use it to construct a 100% accurate AI duplicate of his personality, run a billion silulated conversations between him and Sarah on a supercomputer to determine optimal results, and then decide this is boring and just build Sarah the Orgasm Machine from Barbarella* and name it “OTHER Other Jacob”.
*Was gonna link it, but I forgot there’s a slur in that scene, so I’ll pass. Just picture the most 1960s thing imaginable plus Jane Fonda writhing under a Venetian blind. I assure you, Austin Powers was only BARELY a parody of how camp the 60s could be.
i can’t imagine carla directly going “i think you’re cool and i wanna get to know you better” but she’s having a hard time to get charlie to focus on her to begin with
There was that synthetic kryptonite from Superman 3 that turned him into an asshole.
Taellosse
It kinda did more than that, to be fair. Depending on how one interprets the junkyard scene, it either caused him to perform a personality-based mitosis, and the newly independent uber-Chad-demigod Superman and mild-mannered-but-still-superpowered Clark Kent battled to the death, or it induced a full-on psychotic break wherein Kal-El had a hallucinatory battle with himself, committing a few million dollars’ worth of incidental property damage, destroying several pieces of heavy machinery while experiencing a severe schizophrenic episode.
Thank you for furnishing such a wonderfully atrocious new word. Between the word and what it means, this is deliciously terrible. Merci. Now I go forth to inflict it upon the melancholy masses.
Well i’m pretty sure jacob’s told her that he’s willing to be friends and spend time together but i guess sarah just wants to know if there’s a chance romantically, but i wouldn’t think direct asking would’ve been harder than their last convo at her door
DOES she want anything romantic though? She has herself said not, and (although it was a few months ago in-comic and a lot can change in that time) reacted to his talking about being sexualised in a way that implied- amongst other things- that she knew it wasn’t okay to go after what she wanted.
Of course there are layers to characters, what is said and unsaid etc. But I’ve never seen anything from Sarah that I interpreted as specifically romantic.
anon
she knows jacob does, more or less, otherwise i feel like she’d be tempted to blurt out “you’re hot let’s f***” or whatever) so i can imagine her willing to attempt to go on some ‘dates’ versus just going straight to tearing his clothes off (which would def be inappropriate)
I don’t think she does. The physical attraction is just the safest part to acknowledge. But as long as she has Little Jacob and she knows how Real Jacob doesn’t just not reciprocate but disdains that shallow affection, why would she even bother getting in the same room with him? She seems to want more.
Sarah talks like she thinks she’s unloveable, so she might not know how she feels about him. But they both know she’s attracted to him in some way, to the point of attempting to be social and pleasant (during fall semester) even though it’s obviously outside her comfort zone.
jacob you have generally been the reasonable one in this scene but to be fair asking people things like that point blank is often the worst way to get a real answer.
sometimes it’d be nice if ppl would be upfront about that tho can be awkward/uncomfortable talkign about feelings versus being upfront in other social situations. (I’m not as anti social as sarah ,but other than ppl who’d take it as a challenge, i’d love to like just be able to chill in a public place or visit a bar wearing a shirt that’s like “Please don’t hit on me” displayed in large font lol)
Yeah, i agree. I think Jacob is setting up healthy boundaries. As long as she’s not opening up to him, there’s nothing in this relationship that Jacob finds worth pursuing. I think he’s making that pretty clear.
Sarah needs to deal with her issues first, and then see if she’s interested in Jacob in any compatible way.
Yeah, that’s the problem.
It’s great when you are interested and not sure about them and they just ask flat out, but it can be even more awkward when you’re not interested.
The little dance we do of trying to gauge other people’s feelings before being open about our own can be really frustrating, but it’s there for a reason.
I don’t think he is being unreasonable. He doesn’t seem particularly shallow, and how is he supposed to really know how to feel about Sarah when she won’t talk to him? Every time he’s tried to get to know her, she has shut him down. A lot of people need connection before any romantic feelings can form.
I mean part of is that Sarah is aware that what she wants out of Jacob isn’t what Jacob is looking for, so why would she set herself up for disappointment?
Even tho it is mostly a lust/attraction factor, I’m sure sarah’s probably willing to do more than a one night stand. Tho i don’t think she’d be crude and be like “I still wanna sleep with you but i *guess* we can hang out more” even if she is blunt (maybe sarah should get some tips from jennifer loll)
Oh fuck right off with that disparity bullshit, you’ve been objectifying him and you got called out for it, and rightly so, and now you’re looking for sympathy
You don’t deserve it and hopefully Jacob leaves and finds someone else to talk to
This was my reaction (the way I’d say it to a little sister). Her behaviour towards Jacob is arguably less respectful than Joe has ever shown towards a woman. I get that she’s young and hasn’t had the experience to deal with *gestures vaguely* all this… but yeah, it’s not okay and she needs to learn to deal or back right off, just like she’d expect of any guy.
You are never too young to learn to respect other people’s boundaries. I taught two year olds to ask their peers for consent and learn to listen to their reaction.
The only excuse adults have is that they have not been taught this at 2yo, so they have a lot to unlearn first. But “too young to learn” is not an excuse at all.
Technically no. She’s basically just pointing out a perceived imbalance and technically isn’t asking. She’s complaining and not making a point to find out the answer.
IMO the difference is a lot more than technical. Asking the question is a request and (hopefully) acknowledges that you’re never actually entitled to know what another person is thinking. You’re taking a risk and maybe making yourself vulnerable, because it’s important enough to you to know whether the other person reciprocates.
It reads to me like Sarah realizes that for a desperate second and calls out, but promptly backpedals to trying to find a way that it’s actually his *duty* to tell her, to mitigate that vulnerability. (I relate, and consequently do not approve.)
HueSatLight
I despise when people play dumb. Like I have to solve a word puzzle when they know exactly what I’m asking.
Orson Smelles
It really doesn’t seem to me like he’s playing dumb here! He doesn’t express any confusion other than one question after her non-sequitur outburst. I think he’s entirely clear what she wants to know, but is indicating that he neither owes her an answer nor is encouraged toward one when she tries to suggest (“power disparity”) that he’s a bad person if he doesn’t tell her. I don’t *think* that Sarah would be confused about that if he walked away right now.
Comic.phile
Yep. After all, all she has done is make it clear she likes his looks, but she’s shut him down every time he’s tried to get to know her as a person, or to have her actually get to know more about him. She really has not been very respectful of him, and if I were him I wouldn’t find it attractive behavior.
Noribushi
Yeah. 100% agree with Orson here.
Asking is more than just about wanting an answer. It’s also about being emotionally vulnerable. Jacob has given her many opportunities to be vulnerable and open with him. There’s no word puzzle here. Jacob straight up is telling her how to get the information she wants: ask. Sarah is the one who is playing dumb by pretending the issue is one of equitability. The real reason she won’t do the simple thing and ask is because she doesn’t want to be in the emotionally vulnerable place of potentially being rejected.
HueSatLight
she’s being vulnerable with him, but not using the magic words. what you are describing is the word puzzle you’re saying isn’t there.
PedanticJerkass
“word puzzle”
You keep using those words. I do not think they mean what you think they mean.
HueSatLight
oh, so you know what I mean by them, but I didn’t use the exact words you would use so that means what now?
appropriate screen name, jerkass.
angel
based on their screen nanme i guess they’re a troll idk if they’d said anything that’d warrant a suspension/ban versus just being annoying lol.
Bash
I agree. She’s hoping he’ll tell her if she complains that it’s not fair. He says he will tell her if she expresses an honest desire to find out. She would have to take an interest in him as a person, not just complain about the situation.
Felian
Very good boundary of him. Sarah has already crossed his boundaries (staring at him in objectification despite him being uncomfortable with it), it makes sense he’s clear about what he wants: for her to show she cares about more than objectifying him.
Jamie
Is this actually the kind of asking you’d want to encourage, though?
If the person you like is obviously incredibly shy, then maybe. Every person has their own level of expectations and limitations.
Maybe Jacob has more patience.
HueSatLight
yikes.
HueSatLight
If we’re going to get nitpicky on how people say things, then if he sincerely is unsure if she’s asking how he feels about her, he should ask, “are you asking me how I feel about you?”
If he does know, but he thinks it’s his job to train encourage her to say it in the exact way he would, then she is better off getting over him.
Benjamin
If she had stopped after “…but I don’t know how you feel about me,” I think I could see agreeing…but she decided to end her statement to him with “It’s a power disparity and it’s not fair!”
That’s not a reasonable way of asking. That’s insisting that the other person is in the wrong for not having volunteered it unprompted, and this insistence is now the subject of the conversation. She had a form of the question that she was so close to letting exist and she then derailed it into something else so that she *wouldn’t* have asked him. What she’s left Jacob to respond to isn’t “I don’t know how you feel about me”, it’s “There’s an unfair power disparity between us.” Which is too bad :-/
Mark
True. She’s feeling vulnerable and reached blindly for a weapon.
But Sarah is right to say “there’s a power disparity.” When the question is “how do you feel about me” then one is always at the mercy of the other. Get over it, Sarah. The only way to resolve the imbalance is to ask.
Some things are neither fair nor unfair; they just are.
Notice that Jacob is being indirect too. He could have said, “well, if you really want to know, please ask me.” He could have just answered the implied question and (we may hope) ended this fencing match. Each one wants the other to go first.
Benjamin
To be fair, Jacob has been doggedly trying to engage her in any sort of conversation for like a bajillion strips now. It’s reasonable to not feel like you have to disclose your feelings about someone to a person who won’t even hold a polite conversation with you. If they ever had some basic social interaction, maybe he *would* have volunteered it, or asked her out, or something, but she steadfastly refuses to talk to him. How is he supposed to go first on this when she shuts down every attempt to converse?
I think it’s her trying to in the way that’s most comfortable to her… But not really. She’s basically avoiding an uncomfortable critique of how her behaviour affects someone else by turning it around and basically being accusative*. It’s the same kind of behaviour that is heavily criticised in men.
*Brain would not retrieve the word I needed. This is the closest it got.
I think the word you’re looking for is “accusatory.”
“Accusative” is a word, but it means the grammatical form nouns and pronouns take when they’re used in certain ways in a sentence. What those ways are varies from language to language, but in Latin it’s when they’re direct objects or the objects of some prepositions. Not every language has an Accusative Case.
English doesn’t have an Accusative Case anymore, it combined accusative and some other forms into the Objective Case.
250 thoughts on “Wanted”
Ana Chronistic
“TALKING? To PEOPLE?! Ugh, one MORE thing you extroverts rub in the faces of introverts!”
Kyrik Michalowski
It took me 5 weeks in highschool before I talked to the girl who would become my best friend tthroughout high school.
Even then, I think she initiated the first conversation. She is also kind of an introvert, but I’m on an entirely new level of introvert. To the point of panic attacks when around more the 3-4 people.
Theluxland
I thought I was bad as an introvert… Until I met my boyfriend. I have mild social anxiety but he have it in overdrive so, we stay home and live our best life together.
Doctor_Who
So who’s having more difficulty opening up to their crush, Carla or Sarah?
Maybe they could solve this by teaming up and trading problems. Sarah will just walk up to Charlie and tell her that Carla likes her. Might take fifteen minutes or so to get Charlie’s attention, but she’ll get there in the end.
Meanwhile Carla will swipe all the data from every device Jacob has ever used or walked past, use it to construct a 100% accurate AI duplicate of his personality, run a billion silulated conversations between him and Sarah on a supercomputer to determine optimal results, and then decide this is boring and just build Sarah the Orgasm Machine from Barbarella* and name it “OTHER Other Jacob”.
*Was gonna link it, but I forgot there’s a slur in that scene, so I’ll pass. Just picture the most 1960s thing imaginable plus Jane Fonda writhing under a Venetian blind. I assure you, Austin Powers was only BARELY a parody of how camp the 60s could be.
Animedingo
Did you have this like ready to post the second this one up?
Thag Simmons
patreon, i assume
Doctor_Who
No, I didn’t write it until midnight, I just hacked the server to delay the clock so nobody else could post until I was ready, Mwahaha.
And despite my meddling, Ana STILL beat me. Curses, foiled again!
Wraithy2773
So, *not* time travel?
Doctor_Who
Huh. That would be simpler, actually.
TrueVCU
This thread is INTENSELY Carla-coded
Mturtle7
Carla = secretly the 15th Doctor all along???
Chronos
You only beat Ana for first if she allows it.
anon
i can’t imagine carla directly going “i think you’re cool and i wanna get to know you better” but she’s having a hard time to get charlie to focus on her to begin with
DarkoNeko
Frankly, Carla doesn’t even seems to know anything about Charlie beside her capacity to phase Carla out.
Kyrik Michalowski
Opening up to people is Sarah’s kryptonite. Only instead of killing her, it makes her defensive, and more likely to smartass her way out of it.
Doctor_Who
I wonder if there’s a color of Kryptonite that just makes Superman really huffy and annoyed.
Kyrik Michalowski
Grey, brown, or something combining those two.
Freezer
There was that synthetic kryptonite from Superman 3 that turned him into an asshole.
Taellosse
It kinda did more than that, to be fair. Depending on how one interprets the junkyard scene, it either caused him to perform a personality-based mitosis, and the newly independent uber-Chad-demigod Superman and mild-mannered-but-still-superpowered Clark Kent battled to the death, or it induced a full-on psychotic break wherein Kal-El had a hallucinatory battle with himself, committing a few million dollars’ worth of incidental property damage, destroying several pieces of heavy machinery while experiencing a severe schizophrenic episode.
Leorale
“Greige, my one weakness! Hmph!”
Decidedly Orthogonal
Thank you for furnishing such a wonderfully atrocious new word. Between the word and what it means, this is deliciously terrible. Merci. Now I go forth to inflict it upon the melancholy masses.
anon
Well i’m pretty sure jacob’s told her that he’s willing to be friends and spend time together but i guess sarah just wants to know if there’s a chance romantically, but i wouldn’t think direct asking would’ve been harder than their last convo at her door
Jason
DOES she want anything romantic though? She has herself said not, and (although it was a few months ago in-comic and a lot can change in that time) reacted to his talking about being sexualised in a way that implied- amongst other things- that she knew it wasn’t okay to go after what she wanted.
Of course there are layers to characters, what is said and unsaid etc. But I’ve never seen anything from Sarah that I interpreted as specifically romantic.
anon
she knows jacob does, more or less, otherwise i feel like she’d be tempted to blurt out “you’re hot let’s f***” or whatever) so i can imagine her willing to attempt to go on some ‘dates’ versus just going straight to tearing his clothes off (which would def be inappropriate)
Ray Radlein
But does Jacob actually know how Sarah feels about him? For that matter, does Sarah?
Amelie Wikström
I don’t think she does. The physical attraction is just the safest part to acknowledge. But as long as she has Little Jacob and she knows how Real Jacob doesn’t just not reciprocate but disdains that shallow affection, why would she even bother getting in the same room with him? She seems to want more.
HueSatLight
Sarah talks like she thinks she’s unloveable, so she might not know how she feels about him. But they both know she’s attracted to him in some way, to the point of attempting to be social and pleasant (during fall semester) even though it’s obviously outside her comfort zone.
DailyBrad
I feel like this is a start, but as evidenced in the last panel, it’s not *quite* there yet. She’s at least expressing a vulnerability.
brute
jacob you have generally been the reasonable one in this scene but to be fair asking people things like that point blank is often the worst way to get a real answer.
anon
sometimes it’d be nice if ppl would be upfront about that tho can be awkward/uncomfortable talkign about feelings versus being upfront in other social situations. (I’m not as anti social as sarah ,but other than ppl who’d take it as a challenge, i’d love to like just be able to chill in a public place or visit a bar wearing a shirt that’s like “Please don’t hit on me” displayed in large font lol)
shrub
Considering the amount of objectifying Sarahs been doing what Jacob said is pretty reasonable of him
Felian
Yeah, i agree. I think Jacob is setting up healthy boundaries. As long as she’s not opening up to him, there’s nothing in this relationship that Jacob finds worth pursuing. I think he’s making that pretty clear.
Sarah needs to deal with her issues first, and then see if she’s interested in Jacob in any compatible way.
Amós Batista
In these times, I used to run. That’s not fair
thejeff
Yeah, that’s the problem.
It’s great when you are interested and not sure about them and they just ask flat out, but it can be even more awkward when you’re not interested.
The little dance we do of trying to gauge other people’s feelings before being open about our own can be really frustrating, but it’s there for a reason.
Comic.phile
I don’t think he is being unreasonable. He doesn’t seem particularly shallow, and how is he supposed to really know how to feel about Sarah when she won’t talk to him? Every time he’s tried to get to know her, she has shut him down. A lot of people need connection before any romantic feelings can form.
Reaver
Yeah Jacob you jerk, how dare you ask an upfront to the question that’s just been silently oogling you like a slab of beef?
Tsk
RacingTurtle
Oh, Sarah
Nono
I mean part of is that Sarah is aware that what she wants out of Jacob isn’t what Jacob is looking for, so why would she set herself up for disappointment?
Not saying she’s right, but I can get it
anon
Even tho it is mostly a lust/attraction factor, I’m sure sarah’s probably willing to do more than a one night stand. Tho i don’t think she’d be crude and be like “I still wanna sleep with you but i *guess* we can hang out more” even if she is blunt (maybe sarah should get some tips from jennifer loll)
thejeff
Because Sarah probably is tempted by the idea of more, but is also scared of it and scared of changing her persona.
brionl
Well, that’s just crazy talk.
shrub
Oh fuck right off with that disparity bullshit, you’ve been objectifying him and you got called out for it, and rightly so, and now you’re looking for sympathy
You don’t deserve it and hopefully Jacob leaves and finds someone else to talk to
anon
Makes me wonder how good she’d be as a lawyer if that’s her logic/attempt at trying to communicate iwth jacob lol.
shrub
Sounds like she’ll make a very good corporate lawyer
Bogeywoman
This was my reaction (the way I’d say it to a little sister). Her behaviour towards Jacob is arguably less respectful than Joe has ever shown towards a woman. I get that she’s young and hasn’t had the experience to deal with *gestures vaguely* all this… but yeah, it’s not okay and she needs to learn to deal or back right off, just like she’d expect of any guy.
Felian
You are never too young to learn to respect other people’s boundaries. I taught two year olds to ask their peers for consent and learn to listen to their reaction.
The only excuse adults have is that they have not been taught this at 2yo, so they have a lot to unlearn first. But “too young to learn” is not an excuse at all.
HueSatLight
Isn’t this her opening up to him and asking?
Ty34er
Technically no. She’s basically just pointing out a perceived imbalance and technically isn’t asking. She’s complaining and not making a point to find out the answer.
HueSatLight
technically no, but actually yes.
Orson Smelles
IMO the difference is a lot more than technical. Asking the question is a request and (hopefully) acknowledges that you’re never actually entitled to know what another person is thinking. You’re taking a risk and maybe making yourself vulnerable, because it’s important enough to you to know whether the other person reciprocates.
It reads to me like Sarah realizes that for a desperate second and calls out, but promptly backpedals to trying to find a way that it’s actually his *duty* to tell her, to mitigate that vulnerability. (I relate, and consequently do not approve.)
HueSatLight
I despise when people play dumb. Like I have to solve a word puzzle when they know exactly what I’m asking.
Orson Smelles
It really doesn’t seem to me like he’s playing dumb here! He doesn’t express any confusion other than one question after her non-sequitur outburst. I think he’s entirely clear what she wants to know, but is indicating that he neither owes her an answer nor is encouraged toward one when she tries to suggest (“power disparity”) that he’s a bad person if he doesn’t tell her. I don’t *think* that Sarah would be confused about that if he walked away right now.
Comic.phile
Yep. After all, all she has done is make it clear she likes his looks, but she’s shut him down every time he’s tried to get to know her as a person, or to have her actually get to know more about him. She really has not been very respectful of him, and if I were him I wouldn’t find it attractive behavior.
Noribushi
Yeah. 100% agree with Orson here.
Asking is more than just about wanting an answer. It’s also about being emotionally vulnerable. Jacob has given her many opportunities to be vulnerable and open with him. There’s no word puzzle here. Jacob straight up is telling her how to get the information she wants: ask. Sarah is the one who is playing dumb by pretending the issue is one of equitability. The real reason she won’t do the simple thing and ask is because she doesn’t want to be in the emotionally vulnerable place of potentially being rejected.
HueSatLight
she’s being vulnerable with him, but not using the magic words. what you are describing is the word puzzle you’re saying isn’t there.
PedanticJerkass
“word puzzle”
You keep using those words. I do not think they mean what you think they mean.
HueSatLight
oh, so you know what I mean by them, but I didn’t use the exact words you would use so that means what now?
appropriate screen name, jerkass.
angel
based on their screen nanme i guess they’re a troll idk if they’d said anything that’d warrant a suspension/ban versus just being annoying lol.
Bash
I agree. She’s hoping he’ll tell her if she complains that it’s not fair. He says he will tell her if she expresses an honest desire to find out. She would have to take an interest in him as a person, not just complain about the situation.
Felian
Very good boundary of him. Sarah has already crossed his boundaries (staring at him in objectification despite him being uncomfortable with it), it makes sense he’s clear about what he wants: for her to show she cares about more than objectifying him.
Jamie
Is this actually the kind of asking you’d want to encourage, though?
Mym
If the person you like is obviously incredibly shy, then maybe. Every person has their own level of expectations and limitations.
Maybe Jacob has more patience.
HueSatLight
yikes.
HueSatLight
If we’re going to get nitpicky on how people say things, then if he sincerely is unsure if she’s asking how he feels about her, he should ask, “are you asking me how I feel about you?”
If he does know, but he thinks it’s his job to
trainencourage her to say it in the exact way he would, then she is better off getting over him.Benjamin
If she had stopped after “…but I don’t know how you feel about me,” I think I could see agreeing…but she decided to end her statement to him with “It’s a power disparity and it’s not fair!”
That’s not a reasonable way of asking. That’s insisting that the other person is in the wrong for not having volunteered it unprompted, and this insistence is now the subject of the conversation. She had a form of the question that she was so close to letting exist and she then derailed it into something else so that she *wouldn’t* have asked him. What she’s left Jacob to respond to isn’t “I don’t know how you feel about me”, it’s “There’s an unfair power disparity between us.” Which is too bad :-/
Mark
True. She’s feeling vulnerable and reached blindly for a weapon.
But Sarah is right to say “there’s a power disparity.” When the question is “how do you feel about me” then one is always at the mercy of the other. Get over it, Sarah. The only way to resolve the imbalance is to ask.
Some things are neither fair nor unfair; they just are.
Two things I wish I’d figured out sooner.
Mym
+1
Mark
Notice that Jacob is being indirect too. He could have said, “well, if you really want to know, please ask me.” He could have just answered the implied question and (we may hope) ended this fencing match. Each one wants the other to go first.
Benjamin
To be fair, Jacob has been doggedly trying to engage her in any sort of conversation for like a bajillion strips now. It’s reasonable to not feel like you have to disclose your feelings about someone to a person who won’t even hold a polite conversation with you. If they ever had some basic social interaction, maybe he *would* have volunteered it, or asked her out, or something, but she steadfastly refuses to talk to him. How is he supposed to go first on this when she shuts down every attempt to converse?
Mark
Agreed.
Bogeywoman
I think it’s her trying to in the way that’s most comfortable to her… But not really. She’s basically avoiding an uncomfortable critique of how her behaviour affects someone else by turning it around and basically being accusative*. It’s the same kind of behaviour that is heavily criticised in men.
*Brain would not retrieve the word I needed. This is the closest it got.
Makkabee
I think the word you’re looking for is “accusatory.”
“Accusative” is a word, but it means the grammatical form nouns and pronouns take when they’re used in certain ways in a sentence. What those ways are varies from language to language, but in Latin it’s when they’re direct objects or the objects of some prepositions. Not every language has an Accusative Case.
English doesn’t have an Accusative Case anymore, it combined accusative and some other forms into the Objective Case.