Well, my bet is Joyce is finally ready to have a calmer conversation with Becky about religion, and Becky will go goddamn ape shit when confronted with reality.
A. I assume it’s going to be about the autism possibility.
B. What would the point be? Becky has her faith, Joyce has lost hers. If Joyce is going to try to talk her out of hers, that’s a dick move and I’d hope she knows better than to do that.
Daibhid C
Joyce’s Stated Position is that religion is dumb, Becky isn’t dumb, so Becky should stop being religious, just as Becky’s Stated Position is that Joyce should believe the same stuff she does because she always has.
It’s possible they’ve both reconsidered these positions. I certainly hope so.
Uly
They’re both in the early stages of Recovering From Spiritual Abuse and Religious Trauma, and they’re coming from a religious and social background that encourages this sort of all-or-nothing thinking. There is approximately no chance that either one has seriously reconsidered yet, though they may have decided to quietly not talk about it, which is *almost* as good.
Felian
i was gonna say that but you said it better than i would have. yup. definitely. it took me some years to not completely judge people who are religious. i still don’t *understand* how you can be religious AND trusting science AND being empathic rather than dogmatic, but i am starting to slowly be more open to the possibility than someone’s faith is not tied to ignoring science or empathy.
However, all-or-nothing thinking is veeeery ingrained in my upbringing. Hard to get rid of, even though the moral values i follow have drastically changed. Still hard to be open to middle grounds.
And i’m 31. Joyce and Becky have a decade less life experience. So i would be surprised if they’re gonna be great at it right away.
Joy
It’s pretty great that you’ve put an effort into that, btw.
Some Ed
Being empathic rather than dogmatic was pretty easy for me. There are a lot of verses in the bible that recommend empathy and caring for ones “neighbors”, meaning basically everybody. So one could start that process by being empathic by being dogmatic, and then after doing that for a while, determine which feels more toxic and shedding that.
At least, that’s how I went about things. This path makes it especially easy to learn to not trust ones clergy, because it fairly quickly becomes clear that when they say that they are also sinners, they generally really mean it. For some, it’s the only honest thing they actually say – possibly even if they’re only saying it because they understand it’s a phrase that clergy more or less have to say.
Mark
It takes a while to notice that science and religion deliberately exclude each others’ methods, because a combination wouldn’t tell you anything believable. Neither has anything to say to the other, though each has a lot to say that is worth hearing. (“Non-overlapping magisteria”)
Empathy not dogmatism is easy for Christians who read, because we’re commanded to be so. “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your mind, all your strength, and you shall love your neighbor [see “Good Samaritan” for who this is] as you love yourself. All of the Law and the Prophets depend on these.”
Or she could do a needlepoint OF plowing the football team. Equally as adventurous without the need to seduce 45 to 50 people.
Felian
A needlepoint of plowing the football team while needlepointing WHILE plowing the football team? How recursive can we go? 😛
Yotomoe
“Stop thrusting so hard , Tony, you made me mess up on the stitching on Arnold’s face”
Some Ed
I was under the impression that it was the one who was thrusting who was technically plowing. I mean, I suppose Tony could be pushing back a bit too vigorously, but it was my impression that’s generally considered poor form even if the top isn’t doing needlepoint. Yes, they are usually supposed to be a bit more involved than, say, a field. But they should just be matching, not going above and beyond. I mean, unless that wasn’t what was negotiated.
Some Ed
Thinking about this a bit more, I’m realizing it should be relatively easy to solve by simply having Tony assist with the needlepoint. If he’s focusing on keeping the needlepoint still, he shouldn’t be able to be pushing back excessively hard.
@Subjektivity – best response.
Also, it caused me to have the following train of thought:
Oh hey! It would be fun to do a female focused parody of How I Met Your Mother with a female version of Barney and –
Oh. Wait. We already had that, and it was called Sex and the City. Samantha didn’t get as many good catch phrases, though.
Yeah… I’m not sure what she’s referring to, though. Or where that’s coming from.
Any guesses, y’all?
-Maybe she worries she’ll let Becky down by going through all these changes without her?
-Maybe she worries Becky will disapprove if Joyce starts dating Joe?
-Maybe Joyce worries that if Becky gets word of Joyce’s possible future diagnosis, that Becky will start agonizing over all the “friendly teasing” that Becky’s done over the years?
…Any thoughts?
p.s., hey, y’all. Good to see youse / yinz / you folx / etc.
The big secret that Joyce has been keeping from Becky has been her potential autism diagnosis. So I’m pretty sure that’s what it is.
Leorale
I think so too. Joyce is projecting a little — some of her first freakouts about Becky coming out were that Joyce had ignorantly wronged Becky. By rejecting her, of course, but also Joyce imagined a whole thing where she’d get back and Becky would be crying about how insensitive Joyce’d been all their lives (when in fact Becky had gone out and gotten a haircut).
Joy
It’s entirely possible that she’s cried about that sort of thing, just, without anyone around? Becky experienced a lot of isolation and she loves people, so she wants to have fun and enjoy herself with people around. She has had plenty of time to be sad.
Eh, my bet is with all the changes she’s been going through without Becky.
This comic is a modern soap opera that lives on drama, and her diagnosis is a source of it that Demon Lord Willis surely would not waste.
Stormrunner
I think it’s referring to Becky making fun of some of Joyce’s “quirks”. To reassure Becky she doesn’t have trauma from that prior to telling her yhe “quirks” were autism.
Leorale
What other changes are there to tell Becky about, where Joyce would have this very specific worry (that Becky would need the reassurance “you’ve never done wrong by me”)?
Autism seems like the one where Becky might feel guilty when she finds out (like for the times she’s unwittingly teased Joyce for being spectrum-y). I’m not sure how taking an art class or dating Joe would make Becky feel guilty. Am I missing one?
Yeah but it’ll still be messy, 666 comments doesn’t just happen.
MisterJinKC
Becky already knows about that remember? Came up when she overheard Joyce talking shit about religious people after the anniversary of Becky’s mom committing suicide.
Cerusee
That is a hilariously unkind way of framing that sequence of events, considering that Joyce made a deliberate choice *not* to broach her atheism with Becky on the anniversary of Bonnie’s death, and was clearly keenly aware of the comfort Becky was taking at the idea that her mother was looking down on them from Heaven.
Felian
OMG now i want a Smarting of Age spinoff where all characters are 20 years older and make great life choices only ;D
Keulen
Yeah, that’s what I’m assuming Joyce is worried about telling Becky this time. And considering how Becky reacted to other new stuff about Joyce (her atheism for example), her being worried about telling Becky that she might be autistic seems pretty reasonable to me.
Sounds like Joyce is trying to mend the rift, starting with an assurance that she doesn’t blame Becky for anything. It’s a bit clumsy, as most things of this sort are? Especially at that age?
I’m pretty sure Joyce hasn’t told Becky yet that she got a referral to potentially get diagnosed for autism. I’m assuming that’s what she’s worried about Becky finding out this time.
I am reminded of Winnie the Pooh. ‘If you live to be one hundred, I wish to live to be one hundred minus one day so I never have to live a day without you.’
…is Joyce going for the direct approach about Joe? Ooh, wasn’t expecting that. I like how sometimes these characters throw curveballs and end up revealing things way sooner than I expected, while other times shoes I expected to drop immediately take years.
I think she is bringing up the autism to her, since Joe’s confession has made her more secure about it, along with reaching an understanding with Dina, so she might be more comfortable about telling Becky.
I don’t think she so much would assume Becky would judge her or anything for it, but she’s family, and her longest friend, so change is tough.
185 thoughts on “Needlepoint”
Ana Chronistic
“Promises are like children”
“You’re not havin’ ’em?”
darkoneko
The only death coming soon is “the little death”
Doctor_Who
SQUEAK?
Queezle
that made me smile. Thank you for that.
Daibhid C
The Grim Squeaker! Coming soon to a cinema near you! (At least if you’re in the UK; coming not very soon to a cinema near you elsewhere!)
Felian
Aww yiss!
i have a tattoo of the Grim Squeaker!
Francoinblanco
This updated my journal
DailyBrad
Aww, guess these two are making nice?
Bryy
Well, my bet is Joyce is finally ready to have a calmer conversation with Becky about religion, and Becky will go goddamn ape shit when confronted with reality.
darkoneko
let’s… keep that for a while later
Decidedly Orthogonal
DO IIIT!
DailyBrad
A. I assume it’s going to be about the autism possibility.
B. What would the point be? Becky has her faith, Joyce has lost hers. If Joyce is going to try to talk her out of hers, that’s a dick move and I’d hope she knows better than to do that.
Daibhid C
Joyce’s Stated Position is that religion is dumb, Becky isn’t dumb, so Becky should stop being religious, just as Becky’s Stated Position is that Joyce should believe the same stuff she does because she always has.
It’s possible they’ve both reconsidered these positions. I certainly hope so.
Uly
They’re both in the early stages of Recovering From Spiritual Abuse and Religious Trauma, and they’re coming from a religious and social background that encourages this sort of all-or-nothing thinking. There is approximately no chance that either one has seriously reconsidered yet, though they may have decided to quietly not talk about it, which is *almost* as good.
Felian
i was gonna say that but you said it better than i would have. yup. definitely. it took me some years to not completely judge people who are religious. i still don’t *understand* how you can be religious AND trusting science AND being empathic rather than dogmatic, but i am starting to slowly be more open to the possibility than someone’s faith is not tied to ignoring science or empathy.
However, all-or-nothing thinking is veeeery ingrained in my upbringing. Hard to get rid of, even though the moral values i follow have drastically changed. Still hard to be open to middle grounds.
And i’m 31. Joyce and Becky have a decade less life experience. So i would be surprised if they’re gonna be great at it right away.
Joy
It’s pretty great that you’ve put an effort into that, btw.
Some Ed
Being empathic rather than dogmatic was pretty easy for me. There are a lot of verses in the bible that recommend empathy and caring for ones “neighbors”, meaning basically everybody. So one could start that process by being empathic by being dogmatic, and then after doing that for a while, determine which feels more toxic and shedding that.
At least, that’s how I went about things. This path makes it especially easy to learn to not trust ones clergy, because it fairly quickly becomes clear that when they say that they are also sinners, they generally really mean it. For some, it’s the only honest thing they actually say – possibly even if they’re only saying it because they understand it’s a phrase that clergy more or less have to say.
Mark
It takes a while to notice that science and religion deliberately exclude each others’ methods, because a combination wouldn’t tell you anything believable. Neither has anything to say to the other, though each has a lot to say that is worth hearing. (“Non-overlapping magisteria”)
Empathy not dogmatism is easy for Christians who read, because we’re commanded to be so. “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your mind, all your strength, and you shall love your neighbor [see “Good Samaritan” for who this is] as you love yourself. All of the Law and the Prophets depend on these.”
Yeet
Kind of a false choice, Jennifer.
Segnosaur
She could do needlepoint while plowing the football team.
It’s all about multitasking.
Laura
That would get very prickly, very fast.
Proxiehunter
That does seem like a situation where there would be lots of pricks.
Decidedly Orthogonal
If Joyce uses a strap-on, the football team’s pricks may be irrelevant to the action.
Laura
But would her peg have a needle point?
Felian
thank you, very important contribution. LOL.
Laura
When my parents married, the advice my father got from his married male friends was: “Do NOT let her sew in bed!”
Yotomoe
Or she could do a needlepoint OF plowing the football team. Equally as adventurous without the need to seduce 45 to 50 people.
Felian
A needlepoint of plowing the football team while needlepointing WHILE plowing the football team? How recursive can we go? 😛
Yotomoe
“Stop thrusting so hard , Tony, you made me mess up on the stitching on Arnold’s face”
Some Ed
I was under the impression that it was the one who was thrusting who was technically plowing. I mean, I suppose Tony could be pushing back a bit too vigorously, but it was my impression that’s generally considered poor form even if the top isn’t doing needlepoint. Yes, they are usually supposed to be a bit more involved than, say, a field. But they should just be matching, not going above and beyond. I mean, unless that wasn’t what was negotiated.
Some Ed
Thinking about this a bit more, I’m realizing it should be relatively easy to solve by simply having Tony assist with the needlepoint. If he’s focusing on keeping the needlepoint still, he shouldn’t be able to be pushing back excessively hard.
Laura
How crewel!
Doctor_Who
I mean, not really. YOU try doing needlepoint while plowing the whole football team. It’s very distracting.
Subjektivity
All I’m hearing is a challenge to be accepted.
Rose by Any Other Name
@Subjektivity – best response.
Also, it caused me to have the following train of thought:
Oh hey! It would be fun to do a female focused parody of How I Met Your Mother with a female version of Barney and –
Oh. Wait. We already had that, and it was called Sex and the City. Samantha didn’t get as many good catch phrases, though.
Thag Simmons
skill issue
Yet_One_More_Idiot
Which one is the distraction from the other, though? 😉
Felian
“hey can you plow me a bit quieter and softer, please? i’m needing a steady hand for this pattern.“
Cerusee
That is that is definitely not true, but it’s nice of Joyce to say so.
Laura
Yeah… I’m not sure what she’s referring to, though. Or where that’s coming from.
Any guesses, y’all?
-Maybe she worries she’ll let Becky down by going through all these changes without her?
-Maybe she worries Becky will disapprove if Joyce starts dating Joe?
-Maybe Joyce worries that if Becky gets word of Joyce’s possible future diagnosis, that Becky will start agonizing over all the “friendly teasing” that Becky’s done over the years?
…Any thoughts?
p.s., hey, y’all. Good to see youse / yinz / you folx / etc.
poofdepoof
The big secret that Joyce has been keeping from Becky has been her potential autism diagnosis. So I’m pretty sure that’s what it is.
Leorale
I think so too. Joyce is projecting a little — some of her first freakouts about Becky coming out were that Joyce had ignorantly wronged Becky. By rejecting her, of course, but also Joyce imagined a whole thing where she’d get back and Becky would be crying about how insensitive Joyce’d been all their lives (when in fact Becky had gone out and gotten a haircut).
Joy
It’s entirely possible that she’s cried about that sort of thing, just, without anyone around? Becky experienced a lot of isolation and she loves people, so she wants to have fun and enjoy herself with people around. She has had plenty of time to be sad.
The Wellerman
Eh, my bet is with all the changes she’s been going through without Becky.
This comic is a modern soap opera that lives on drama, and her diagnosis is a source of it that Demon Lord Willis surely would not waste.
Stormrunner
I think it’s referring to Becky making fun of some of Joyce’s “quirks”. To reassure Becky she doesn’t have trauma from that prior to telling her yhe “quirks” were autism.
Leorale
What other changes are there to tell Becky about, where Joyce would have this very specific worry (that Becky would need the reassurance “you’ve never done wrong by me”)?
Autism seems like the one where Becky might feel guilty when she finds out (like for the times she’s unwittingly teased Joyce for being spectrum-y). I’m not sure how taking an art class or dating Joe would make Becky feel guilty. Am I missing one?
The Wellerman
Her atheism perhaps? Who knows, really?
But one things for sure, this isn’t Smarting of Age, this is gonna get messy in any case, to say the least.
Bryy
They’re about to have Round II but with a more mature Joyce.
The Wellerman
Yeah but it’ll still be messy, 666 comments doesn’t just happen.
MisterJinKC
Becky already knows about that remember? Came up when she overheard Joyce talking shit about religious people after the anniversary of Becky’s mom committing suicide.
Cerusee
That is a hilariously unkind way of framing that sequence of events, considering that Joyce made a deliberate choice *not* to broach her atheism with Becky on the anniversary of Bonnie’s death, and was clearly keenly aware of the comfort Becky was taking at the idea that her mother was looking down on them from Heaven.
Felian
OMG now i want a Smarting of Age spinoff where all characters are 20 years older and make great life choices only ;D
Keulen
Yeah, that’s what I’m assuming Joyce is worried about telling Becky this time. And considering how Becky reacted to other new stuff about Joyce (her atheism for example), her being worried about telling Becky that she might be autistic seems pretty reasonable to me.
StClair
Sounds like Joyce is trying to mend the rift, starting with an assurance that she doesn’t blame Becky for anything. It’s a bit clumsy, as most things of this sort are? Especially at that age?
drs
It’s obvious.
Joyce is going to Yale.
Marvelman
I wasn’t sure what Joyce was referring to either.
Needfuldoer
All of the above?
Keulen
I’m pretty sure Joyce hasn’t told Becky yet that she got a referral to potentially get diagnosed for autism. I’m assuming that’s what she’s worried about Becky finding out this time.
Yotomoe
Y’know I just absolutely assumed it was about Joe. Literally no other thoughts had entered my brain cuz I’m too busy shipping Jojoyce.
Dave Van Domelen
“I promise to outlive you” can be very touching or very creepy.
Clif
Depends on whether the person saying it is wielding a knife.
Felian
somebody’s gotta cut the cake at the wake.
anonymsly
I am reminded of Winnie the Pooh. ‘If you live to be one hundred, I wish to live to be one hundred minus one day so I never have to live a day without you.’
Megan Rivera
I really like that coral colored hoodie Joyce is wearing under her vest, that’s cute.
Thag Simmons
Her outfits are consistently cute. This comic has very good outfits across the board actually.
Mark
This is IU, so it’s supposed to be crimson. Must’ve faded in the wash.
Crotonhurst
You’ve never done wrong by me, but there’s a possibility that at some point Joe and I will engage in premarital hanky-panky
DailyBrad
That would be really funny, if only for Becky giving her a, “FUNNY YOU SHOULD MENTION THAT-“
RassilonTDavros
…is Joyce going for the direct approach about Joe? Ooh, wasn’t expecting that. I like how sometimes these characters throw curveballs and end up revealing things way sooner than I expected, while other times shoes I expected to drop immediately take years.
DailyBrad
I think she is bringing up the autism to her, since Joe’s confession has made her more secure about it, along with reaching an understanding with Dina, so she might be more comfortable about telling Becky.
I don’t think she so much would assume Becky would judge her or anything for it, but she’s family, and her longest friend, so change is tough.
Dana
I know I’m late to the party, but I realized one way Joyce can take pills is by putting them in sushi rolls.
https://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/02-threes-a-crowd/chopsticks/
Doctor_Who
But only if Dorothy is there to feed her.
…Is that where this is going?
Dana