481

DVR
Posted on November 6, 2014 by David M Willis

481 thoughts on “DVR”

  1. Jen Aside

    no way, God streams straight to YouTube

    [don’t skip the ads, that’s like not tithing]

    [[Mary can suck on a huge fucking butthole]]

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      So you can avoid burning forever if you distract Him with an awesome cat video then?

      1. BMunro

        God is omnipotent, and therefore able to watch _infinite_ cute cat videos while keeping track of your sexual indiscretions. (Although, admittedly, God does find the cats more _interesting_).

      2. Paradox

        On today’s episode of “Who’s that gravatar?”…

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          A dark fusion of Mayo and Abiru from SZS.

      3. JepMZ

        Is that what really happens when I do these animal sacrifices?

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Yup! 😛

    2. Emperor Kiva

      I wonder if God watches Vines?

      1. thebombzen

        Imagine hooking up with God on Tinder.

        1. Only a Little Jilted

          I’m sure it’s not that great…

          And I’m not only saying that because He swiped left on me, obviously.

        2. Freemage

          Imagine hooking up with God on Grindr….

      2. Lord Geovanni

        what part of God watches everything do people not get

    3. Mkvenner

      I think that’s what she does when nobody’s around.

  2. An Average Loser

    I think God has TiVo.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Nah, bit torrent and a big external hard drive.

      God cut the cord a long time ago. Cable companies are the domain of Satan now, hence Comcast.

      1. Felix

        An infinite HDD powered by a singularity per each sector, obviously!

  3. Camachri

    Well! Here comes ol’ Mary! Good ol’ Mary… yes, ma’am!

    Good ol’ Mary…

    1. Yotomoe

      Peanuts Strip 1.

    2. Cephalo the Pod

      Just a swell gal.

    3. Wack'd

      *slow clap*

    4. Itama

      Hey there Mary! Have a nice morning jog!

      1. Wack'd

        Jog on!

    5. SycrosD4

      Peanuts reference. Have an internet.

    6. Chris M

      I feel like her and Mike are meant for each other.

      1. Lanval

        Really? Mike seems more like a Troll who very much doesn’t like to put up with people who are self-deceptive or hypocritical and enjoys getting a rise out of people (particularly those who are too uptight or neurotic, like with Joyce and the whiteboard).

        Mary seems really uptight, neutoric and at least sort of hypocritical (at least in so far as she ignores the whole love thy neighbour and various parts of Christianity about being a decent person).

        Pretty sure her and Mike would destroy eachother in like half an hour. /If/ they were playing the long game and scheming.

        Mike and Roz, I can see. Meanwhile I can’t picture anyone self-loathing enough for Mary… maybe Faz?

  4. Yotomoe

    Why would god care? We’re overpopulated. We can stop going forth and being fruitfull!

    1. newllend

      things are kind of bullshit in this plain of existence anyway.

    2. AgentKeen

      “New Commandment: BE MORE GAY!”

      1. Yotomoe

        “I thought you’d catch on to that when I kept makin’ them! sheesh. Why do I have to spell everything out for you dumb-dumbs”

    3. Itama

      he wouldn’t. he’s been over this 😛
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PJIHzYEMFs

      1. Yotomoe

        Yes! That’s exactly what I was thinking of when I typed that. I love Bo.

        1. Dirk Strider's Splinter Hopeself

          DAMNIT! SOMEONE THOUGHT OF BO FIRST!

    4. JessWitt

      Right on, the world can’t handle any more people. Let LGBT people be.

    5. Dirk Strider's Splinter Hopeself

      “You make my job a living hell, I sent gays to fix overpopulation, boy did that og well” -Bo Burnham

  5. SUGauthor

    1600 Penn? That show’s old.

    1. TexasDex

      Not really that old, it ended just last year. Didn’t last long, and didn’t get much love, but I kind of enjoyed it.

  6. MightionNY

    Ah, Mary. About a subtle as a hand grenade in a barrel of oatmeal.

    Cooked.

    1. Mkvenner

      Flash bang or Fragmentation?

      1. Opus the Poet

        Flash-bang makes a bigger mess.

    2. AgentKeen

      About as pleasant, too.

    3. JessWitt

      In lieu of nasty death threats, bestow upon Mary spit in her oatmeal.

  7. Camila

    FUCK! I really, REALLY hate Mary :/

    1. Emperor Kiva

      Same here

      1. newllend

        i doesn’t matter how much she changes either it in this universe or the other you’r feelings for her is always going to be “fuck, I hate that bongo!” because her natural personality is always going come off as” shame on you Godless heathens, why can’t you be more like me are perfect servant of god”….she’s the basic stereotype that gives christian’s a bad rap.

        1. vmgx

          my feelings for her are like: mary started out as just danny’s friend, who was a quirky , and very christian (ina a annoying, but ok way) artist, and a nice person in general. of course she talked “morals this morals that” some times, but wasn’t really a judgemental bicthy girl as she is now. But at some point, from a page to another, she became the worst person in the strip. completly a lying hypocrite, who was beeing evil for the sake of beeing evil(it wasn’t even ’cause she wanted to be above, since she did the same herself). and I dunno, … I want a character redemption.(well maybe I exagerated)

        2. Lanval

          I skimmed the commentary on the old Willis strips, at least up to about the point where the PoV switched over to Walky and I think you’re seeing the evolution as it happened: Willis said Mary sort of started out as an awkward last ditch insertion of a Manic-Dream Girl (Christian, Artist, other traits which Willis admired). In the course of about… 5 strips? He realized what he had done and sort of went to loathing her character and making her a villain.

          Honestly, I’d kind of like to see her as a more reasonable foil; A dour and slightly more judgemental Joyce, who is sort of dissaffected but genuinely wants to be a decent Christian.

          Instead, for better or worse, I’d interepret her as a sort of representation of a Conservative Christian’s conscience; stern, unrelenting, self-righteous and at least a touch misanthropic.

          At very least with this theory, it makes her more bearable since I can imagine her as being Joyce’s shoulder devil dressed up in Angel’s robes.

    2. Safgaftsa

      The Republicans just won the Senate; we really don’t need her on top of this right now.

      1. Drunken Nordmann

        My condolences.

    3. Disloyal Subject

      So full of HATE.

  8. dailybrad

    “Judge not lest ye be- nah, fuck that, where’s the brimstone? Where’s the hellfire? Where’s my righteous divine retribution? Isn’t that what it’s all about?!”

    1. Mkvenner

      That will only happen when Mary takes the final journey.

  9. Mr k

    Go fuck yourself Mary.

    Anyway, I’d like to see an answer to Sarah’s suspicions.

    1. Yotomoe

      Masturbation is a sin, Mr K. So is premarital sex. She’s have to mary herself first.

      1. John

        She’s already Mary herself.

    2. Rowen Morland

      Stop making me want Mary Slipshine :/

      1. Rosario

        Damn yes. Mary Slipshine. I’d pay for this…

      2. gwalla

        It’d just be her jilling off while telling herself how much better she is than everybody else.

        1. Lel

          That is a wonderful euphemism you just used

        2. Kintrex

          That would be a pretty good just one panel. I’d buy that for a dollar.

        3. Dirk Strider's Splinter Hopeself

          Mike already did that. With your mom. For a nickel.

        4. Rowen Morland

          One panel? I think Willis could write a few full pages of her being righteous to herself.

          Willis, if you are reading this consider it a challenge (please).

    3. Swoop

      For one, brief moment, I thought Joyce was going to say something like ” f-word off Mary!”

  10. Khaner

    THe more Mary shows up, the more I despise her.

    1. Alexander Hammil

      Really? She seems a lot less hateful now that the basic assumptions of the strip don’t align with her. Like, now she just seems like an unpleasant bigot, the kind of person Billie would just shrug off as an asshole. Neither she nor Ruth seem particularly worried about the GAYNESS of their relationship, which, to be honest, has so many more terrible things to worry about, anyway.

      1. RAZ

        Mary is demonstrating the first stage of blackmailing, letting the target know that she holds an important information that the target tried to keep secret.

        1. Bleeters

          Not that I’m down for blackmailing as a general rule, but it seems like it helps to have some actual proof on hand to do the blackmailing with, beyond just your word. Mary’s got squat.

          I mean, what’s she going to do? Tell? As far as the rest of the floor are concerned, they hate each other, and it’s not like Mary has a lot of influence. As far as the Powers That Be are concerned, Billie had an awful day and needed someone to talk to, and Ruth – because it’s her job – spent the night doing the talking. Or whatever innocent justification they come up with, which Mary can’t disprove because she’s got squat.

        2. Wack'd

          The thing about rumors is it doesn’t matter whether you can prove them or not.

        3. gwalla

          But it does matter if people believe them, and Mary doesn’t have a lot of credibility to draw on.

      2. AgentKeen

        I feel like Ruth specifically said something about being worried about her grandfather finding out, if nothing else.

        That said, I think Billie’s worry (she at least seems to be paying attention in the last panel, which to me suggests worry) is that ANYONE saw. Even if she doesn’t care about people finding out about her dating another girl, a student and her floor’s RA dating/hate-fucking would not go over well with the school.

        1. Dragon_Nataku

          Is dating an RA actually against university rules? I mean, I know TA’s and profs can’t get involved with students but that’s cause they handle the students’ grades. Granted, I only spent one semester in the dorms in college so I have no idea.

        2. AgentKeen

          I would imagine that, at a minimum, administration would frown on an RA dating a student on that RA’s floor (though other students would be ok). I could see that as never being made an official rule at schools with male/female only dorms (like here) due to heteronormativity. Even if an RA isn’t doling out grades, they can still be in a position of power (See: Ruth having a master key to get Billie’s uniform, Ruth tormenting Billie about not turning in her and Sal’s roommate agreement, etc.)

          I did a quick search and some schools do have specific rules for it. Apparently, Syracuse says no dating a student on your floor, or even in the building your floor is in (I’m guessing the second part is to stop RAs from dating opposite sex students on other floors since buildings will sometimes alternate floors).

        3. Dara

          Back when I was in college, I dated a guy who was the RA on one of the male-only floors of my dorm. When I let it slip to our building’s RLC (residential life coordinator), we each got a letter about it. I don’t remember exactly what it said, though I do remember that I found it upsetting and that he considered breaking things off just because of it. And the relationship was probably a contributing factor in why I wasn’t ever able to get an RA position myself.

          At one point, after we had broken up once, gotten back together, and I was realising that no, this was not working and he was really bad at respecting boundaries that I’d laid out, and good at making me feel guilty for HAVING them, the whole thing made me uncomfortable and I was avoiding him. And then he’d be waiting on the dorm porch when I walked back from a night class and once when I didn’t answer him knocking at my door, HE FUCKING STARTED TURNING THE KNOB TO LET HIMSELF IN.

          So yeah, RAs dating residents is often frowned on even if there aren’t any official rules, and if the relationship ends or goes bad, it can get uncomfortable and potentially unsafe for the non-RA since even if they don’t live on your floor, the keys they have access to can often open any room in the building, not just their own floor.

        4. Dragon_Nataku

          I think this is more an argument against dating psychopathic weirdos though since you don’t need to be an RA to be a crazy stalker. Also I hope someone punched that dude in the face for harassing you. If not, I would like to volunteer.

        5. Halloween Jack

          It probably depends on the school, but in general it’s probably ignored if the non-RA half of the couple doesn’t abuse the relationship to get away with stuff. (e.g. Billie gets caught with booze–I’m assuming that she’s underage–and Ruth says that she actually confiscated it from another student’s room and Billie was holding onto it until Ruth could dispose of it.)

        6. Dorje Sylas

          Usually it’s the opposite. The RA position usually has a certain level of professionaliusm expected, even if fraternization isn’t explicitly forbidden. Dating or going so far as fucking a resident (someone your in charge of) is not exactly professional, to say the least.

          Ruth has actually been rather unprofessional. Although she seems to have been given a pass for her abouse of floor residents in the past becasue she runs a “tight” floor. A Lesbian Sucided Pact with a resident may be a tipping point.

    2. MrSirk

      Hey, all Mary wants to do is invite Billie to an innocent bible study….Where she’ll probably try to convince her to end a relationship that’s brought her the only shred of happiness she’s had in months…hrmmm? You know I’m starting to think Mary might be kind of a bongo.

  11. Yotomoe

    “Mary, You really need to stop being such a B-word”

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Buttmunch.

      1. Emperor Kiva

        Butt-wipe

        1. newllend

          Butthat?

        2. John

          Bothriospondylus.

        3. LeslieBean4Shizzle

          Badger

        4. Ghostforge

          Badgers?!! We don’t need no stinkin’ Badgers!!!!!

        5. Opus the Poet

          Badgers! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6joOVjEemh4 Only about 3 minutes of it…

        6. LeslieBean4Shizzle

          That is the joke.

        7. fogel

          Best. Pun. Ever. 🙂

        8. Opus the Poet

          Slightly more political Badgers, with Brian May of Queen on guitar. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EllYgcWmcAY

        9. Dreadhawk177

          Billy-hater

        10. JessWitt

          Butt-taco.

        11. newllend

          Butthat?

  12. otusasio451

    …Well, I’ve got the torches. Who’s got the pitchforks? We’ll need them to DESTROY MARY.

    1. Emperor Kiva

      I got a knife that can kill nearly everything. Does that work?

      1. Dreadhawk177

        I hear Mike can punch someone so much that towards the end, he gives back more blood than he takes away…

    2. Wack'd

      Stakes and torches, scimitars and bayonets…

      1. Emperor Kiva

        knives, swords, and guns

        1. Wack'd

          Those are not the lyrics!

        2. Emperor Kiva

          They are now

      2. Bill

        Shovels and rakes and implements of destruction.

      3. Teito

        Scythes, pitchforks, a sickle with a sharpened edge…

    3. Drunken Nordmann

      I have a walking cane. Can I bring that, too?

    4. Leo Atrox

      I’m sorry, all I’ve got is napalm, some chlorine gas, 3 sticks of TNT, and a rusty butter knife. Will that do?

      1. otusasio451

        BRING THE BUTTER KNIFE. Leave the other stuff.

  13. Dean

    The Bible study group is just Mary sitting amid a bunch of empty chairs, silently fuming.

    1. Yotomoe

      The main topic tends to be how everyone else is going to hell but her.

      1. King Blind Mime

        It’s basically ten whole minutes of her going from chair to chair, agreeing with her original statement.

        1. pyrophobia

          Ooh, like playing chess with yourself?? :O

        2. fogel

          Playing with yourself, anyway.

        3. Bagge

          That… sounds kinda interesting actually.

    2. BMunro

      Alas, as much as it might be nice to think otherwise, the house is always full at the Church of God the Mean-spirited Asshole. One would think people would all be over at the Church of the God of Love and Forgiveness, but no…

      1. fogel

        Well, Jesus did say to throw them stones, right?

        1. saltchocolate

          He addressed it to an empty set—nobody meets his eligibility requirements.

        2. Lel

          Still, he did imply that if you are without sin its ok to beat people to death for being sinful with rocks. Meaning that even if they shouldn’t do it, people should aspire to PURGING THE SINNER through violence.
          Not exactly his most forgiving moment.

        3. Allen Tor

          Not at all what he meant. The idea behind “he who is without sin throw the first stone.” is that no human person is without sin, therefore no one should be throwing stones. Not that people should aspire to be without sin so that they can purge the other sinners, that’s Mary logic.

        4. fogel

          Stone comes flying out of the crowd. Jesus is PO’d, looking around for who threw it, then says ” Mom! Cut that out!”

        5. Gadgeteer Smashwidget

          The Director’s Cut of the bible

  14. HMRC4EVR

    Mary, I don’t like you.

    Go away.

    Shoo.

    1. -Sentinel-

      I love to hate her. I want her to stay.

      1. Luzahn

        Agreed. Also, I’d like to see her eventually take steps towards getting better. The way she acts isn’t entirely her fault, she deserves a chance to not be a jerk.

        1. auo> mous

          Of course you’d say that, Mike. Everyone loves to hate you. Nobody likes me and I should die in a fire.

    2. Drunken Nordmann

      In my opinion, Mary has a very punchable face.

  15. tbf

    God has a DVR full of lesbian sex?

    1. Yotomoe

      Don’t you?

    2. Mkvenner

      HE wouldn’t have mentioned it in the Bible if he didn’t.

    3. ThisIsSoLemons

      Yes, for, um… research. He has it for research.

      1. auo> mous

        He and Satan turn on lesHBO and watch every second so they know how many strokes to give their genitals. Then the sinners go to hell and Satan whips them in the vagina as punishment. What did you think I meant?

    4. Knightsky

      “Mmmmm… Jehovah like.”

      http://somethingpositive.net/sp04262010.shtml

  16. Gram91

    I hated Mary the first time I read through the Walkyverse. This just reinforces that hate. YAY!!!

  17. Emperor Kiva

    What Mary doesn’t realize is that I have hired a mercenary to end her, of course he went to eat chimichangas until he decides it’s time…..Dammit, Wade.

    1. Mr k

      Hire Slade instead.

      1. Emperor Kiva

        Why not both?

      2. turbanous

        Slade is more likely to seduce her than end her.

        1. Emperor Kiva

          Good point I’ll stick with Deadpool

        2. Deanatay

          Best Mercenary = Schlock

        3. fogel

          When you hear OMMMINOUSSS HHUMMMM behind you …

        4. Leo Atrox

          I would hire a Faceless Assassin. Who has 100,000 Golden Dragons i can borrow?

  18. Rachel Roth

    Oh COME ON! THIS is messed up! Just MESSED UP! If their God (The Great and damned Willis) really didn’t want there to be homosexual relationships in their world, he wouldn’t have made both Ruth and Billie female!

    1. Yotomoe

      I always heard some BS like god tests us to make our faith stronger or some shit. Which seems like a fucking shitty handicap to just throw out at random.

      1. Regalli

        This is why my religious views are what they are.

        What they are being, I’m not sure a god exists, and even if they did I have found religion deeply unhealthy to me for a boatload of reasons and organized religion prone to bullshit on top of that. So I just try to not be a shitty human being and figure that if there is a god, any god worth worshiping would understand my reasons. If they don’t, fuck them, I’d gladly take damnation over a “paradise” that exclusionary.

        1. Fletcher

          “Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.”
          — Marcus Aurelius

        2. Regalli

          Thank you, Marcus Aurelius. I knew there was a reason I thought you were a pretty cool dude.

        3. StClair

          Dang. I did not know that quote, but it is perfect. Thank you.

        4. fogel

          Well, there is the story in the Bible in which Aaron’s 2 older sons burned some bad incense during a ritual and Yahweh vaporized them on the spot.

        5. fogel

          Isn’t there also a law in the OT that if 2 guys are fighting and the wife of one of them reaches in and grabs her husband’s opponent by the family jewels you should cut off her hand. I’ve always wondered if they had a lot of trouble with that back then (sounds like WWE), or its in there just in case.

        6. gwalla

          It’s right after the rule about using a folding chair when the ref is distracted.

        7. fogel

          Pro wrestling started with guys like Goliath and Samson!

        8. Lel

          “Kill more barbarians, hahaha they are not real people. Rome is the greatest, get back to work slaves” -Marcus Aurelius

          Just your daily reminder that everyone in history was terrible!

        9. Rachel Roth

          Man, I wish I could get away with posting something like that connected to myself. But no, I have to watch out for my family and schoolmates. Just have to get to college… In the mean time, I need a button to like it.

        10. JaneDoe

          Finally, somebody whose religious views are similar to mine. I once tried to explain myself to somebody and by the time I got to the “I don’t think God would send people to Hell for not worshipping him” she was trying to interrupt, wouldn’t even let me get to the part where I said I sure as hell wouldn’t worship a God who was that much of a dick.

        11. Rachel Roth

          How can anything be paradise if all the best people are left out? I mean seriously! Do you really expect me to believe that Jewish writers would belong to a christian heaven? That’s just nuts.

    2. David

      Take a refresher on the Book of Job. “Messed up” is within the operating parameters.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        One of the things I remember from Bible classes back in high school was that the other people God was talking to besides Satan before he started testing Job were alien observers from sin-free worlds.

        1. Benjy

          Was that in the KJV? I don’t remember that in my few years at Baptist Sunday school.

        2. Deanatay

          I remember the parable of Job being one of the few places in the Bible where Satan is portrayed as an agent of God, acting as an official contrarian and, dare I say it, ‘Devil’s Advocate’, but obeying God’s orders and enacting His will.

        3. Arkadi

          …and that’s actually the only time he’s mentioned in the Bible, If I remember correctly.

        4. Arkadi

          Or rather, the only time he makes an appearance.

        5. saltchocolate

          Satan? No. He tempts Jesus on the mountain, if nothing else.

    3. RAZ

      Bear in mind, the lord willis does not accept prayers, only suffering. The most common praise to his lordship is ‘Damn you Willis’, in which he cackle gleefully and exerted more suffering on his subjects

      1. Wack'd

        So basically he’s Sithrak from Oglaf?

        1. Thomas64

          Nah, Sithrak isn’t cruel, he’s just misunderstood.

    4. Lawzlo

      If WILLIS had wanted them to be a straight couple, they would have been Ruth and Billy, not Ruth and Billie!

  19. Flimsyfishy

    Little does Mary know, Joyce just gave her some plans for Wednesday. You brought this upon yourself Mary.

  20. Mkvenner

    All will be answered in the undiscovered country. I don’t think Mary is going to like the answers.

    1. AgentKeen

      Mary: What does god need with a starship?

      Wait, wrong Star Trek movie… Ehh, I like the visual anyhow.

    2. ahuh

      “Why is this bridge getting so narrow and sharp all of a sudden?”

  21. Ascension

    Huh. I wouldn’t have thought that would get to Billie so badly. I mean, pretty much everything else she does is also disapproved of by Christians?

    Maybe it’s just her secret being out. And knowing that Mary knows. Which is, admittedly, disturbing.

    Oh, right. And dangerous to Ruth’s position as RA.

    Yeah, okay, understanding that reaction now.

    1. Matthew Davis

      Yeah, I think it’s more who knows and what that possibly means than any sort of particular concern regarding religious approbation.

      I also think that Joyce’s deflection (and the “um”) say a lot about how she’s slowly rethinking her stances more than we may give her credit for.

  22. sun tzu

    Subtle, Mary. Real subtle.
    Presumably your evil plan doesn’t rely on the advantage of surprise.

    1. Mr k

      Billie should find someway to blackmail her.

      1. fogel

        Windows figure largely in the Dumbyverse. Can you say “defenestration” boys and girls?

        1. Rutee

          But where can we find a bohemian in IU?

        2. Lel

          Czech around, I’m sure you’ll find one eventually.

        3. fogel

          🙂

    2. Wack'd

      What about fear, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope, and nice red uniforms?

      1. tyersome

        … I didn’t expect that …

        1. Arkadi

          Nobody does ^^

      2. Drakey

        I hadn’t thought of this before, but if you change that to “an almost fanatical devotion to Emperor Palpatine,” you have just described the Imperial Guards.

    3. gwalla

      Mary has, to this point, not demonstrated much of a capacity for subtlety (which distinguishes her DoA version from her Roomies counterpart, who was at least capable of covering up her judgmental nastiness and hypocrisy with a cheerful demeanor; DoA Mary just flat out hates everybody and can’t hide it)

  23. Anonymous Commenter

    Welp, looks like Mary’s gonna be a b-word again

    1. Yotomoe

      Including she stopped sometime between her birth and November 6th, 2014 12:10 am.

      1. Yotomoe

        Implying*

  24. synnerman

    There’s something about Mary…

    I vote Billie re-enacts the Nomi Malone and Krystal Conners on the stairs scene from “Showgirls.” Billie is Nomi, Mary is Krystal.

    1. auo> mous

      I looked up their names. Apparently you spelled both if Cristal Connors’ names wrong. But I can’t blame you. Who spells Crystal without a Y, anyway?

      1. auo> mous

        I love Y’s? Why would could you ever want to get rid of one…?
        *looks at own username* …Well, I was “anonymous,” but that didn’t spell “snow cone” upside down.

      2. gwalla

        Pop dat Cristal

  25. T Campbell

    I’ve given up hoping that Ruth and Billie don’t have some utter, ugly misery ahead of them. I’m just gonna hope that it’s not quite this EASY, that they get to beat this particular gambit until something ELSE gets them down. But I gotta say this is easily the most effective Mary has ever been (here, or in earlier incarnations).

  26. IAmDeltaS

    Mary is so sweet.

    1. IAmDeltaS

      And by sweet, I mean A HUGE FRIGGIN ASSHOLE

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      They do say that sugar is a poison after all.

  27. Plasma Mongoose

    Is it just me or is Mary Ethan’s evil opposite sex clone?

    1. Yotomoe

      Did you just call Ethan a bongo?

      1. RAZ

        Did ethan looks like a bongo?

        1. Osaru Sensei

          What?

      2. Arkadi

        She said “evil”.

      3. Lel

        Ethan is a basic bongo.

  28. Jesse

    “Oh man, I’m a sinner, and God’s a pervert.”

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Ceiling Cat only watches you masturbate, God records it too.

      1. Arkadi

        Do you mean to imply that cats are more worthy of worship than Yahweh?

        …because if you do, you’re probably right.

  29. arank11

    Anyone else think Becky looks a little nervous in panel three?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Yeah I get that vibe myself.

      1. Halloween Jack

        IYKWIMAITYD.

    2. Yotomoe

      Not NEARLY as nervous as Joyce, man.

    3. John

      Yeah, that looks like a, “Hmm, looks like I’m going to have to soften her up some before I spring this on her,” expression to me.

      1. Arkadi

        …or so we hope ^^

    4. Regalli

      I’m still not certain if it’s “I’m nervous because I’m gay” or “I’m nervous because I’m discovering things about my personal beliefs that don’t mesh with my parents and I don’t want to lose one of the few threads I have”, but yeah.

      (… Actually, now I’m kind of hoping Becky’s secret either is or includes the realization she never really believed in God so much as she was scared of damnation.)

      1. StClair

        I’m often dismayed by the number of people who argue/seem to believe that the only reason any of us have any sort of “moral sense” is fear of being punished for acting otherwise. This strikes me as sociopathic, or at least lacking in empathy.

        1. Arkadi

          Not necessarily. People who’ve been brought up to believe that usually have also been brainwashed into seeing themselves as horrible, worthless sinners, even if they’re basically decent human beings. It’s all about guilt.

        2. DudeMyDadOwnsADealership

          Because it is. I wouldn’t even call it real morality. More of a ‘mob mentality’ form of social behavior, much like authoritarianism or hyperbole…

    5. Tom T.

      She may well just be nervous at having stumbled into an obviously tense confrontation involving people she doesn’t know.

      1. MrSirk

        Added by the fact one of them brought up the topic of lesbianism for no real raeson.

    6. OnyxIdol

      Aren’t You reading too much into her expression? Personally I don’t see her as nervous, more like “Ok what’s up with this person”

      1. Jen

        But, OnyxIdol, Willis often peppers his strips with expressions, poses, and little things in the background that much later turn out to be significant to the storyline and/or character. So of course many of us examine everyone’s reaction to everything and try to figure out the implications. 🙂 Like it turning out that Mike had been putting books into Walky’s backpack to make it heavier. Willis subtly drew it in the strips the whole time, but I don’t think any of us noticed until the reveal.

        1. OnyxIdol

          Well if that’s subtle foreshadowing it’s to subtle for me. To me it’s really just a blank face.

    7. saltchocolate

      I would have said yes, but in the last panel, she’s totally laughing and joking around, so maybe not.

      1. Jen

        But people often quickly laugh and/or change the subject when a topic they’re uncomfortable about comes up. It’s a classic defense mechanism for stuff you want to hide.

  30. Kernanator

    Hahahaha I hate you so much.

  31. brasca1

    Not all that smart to tip off your intended victim that you know something they’re keeping a secret. Then again she is just a freshman so she’s still new to villainy.

    1. Matthew Davis

      Now there’s an interesting nemesis for Amazi-Girl.

    2. saltchocolate

      That’s what I was thinking. She just gave up her best advantage…

    3. Loki1001

      You’re thinking the wrong kind of villainy. You’re thinking Cobra villainy when you really should be thinking political villainy. Now Billie knows that Mary has leverage over her, which means that Billie has to do whatever Mary wants, lest the secret get out. If Mary actually had a defined goal, I’d say you were right. But right now Mary simply gets to torture Billie while feeling self-righteous, which is all the motivation she needs.

    4. Bleeters

      I don’t think Mary quite grasps how incredibly easy it would be for Ruth to have her removed from the building.

    5. RAZ

      It depends on what she is planning. Id she plans to go public with the information, it is not a smart move. But if she intended to extort benefits for withholding the info, she needs to let the target know, or implied that she knoes the info and let paranoia sink in. She is no rookie, she had experience in this matter.

  32. takashid

    People were theorizing about Becky being gay recently, and i gotta say, her face in panel three is hard for me to read. Also, wow fuck off Mary

    1. Nonagon

      Seconded. This either torpedoes that theory or doesn’t. So we’re back where we started. We are good at this.

    2. Swoop

      She is so gay. Maybe she still thinks it’s a sin, but she is so gay. Everyone in dumbing of age is gay until proven otherwise.

    3. Swoop

      She is so gay. Maybe she still thinks it’s a sin, but she is so gay. Everyone in dumbing of age is gay until proven otherwise.

  33. Yotsuyasan

    Well, if as Christians believe there is only One True God, then that God must be the same God for the entirety of The Multiverse.

    Now, let us also take as a truth the Christian belief in the Holy Trinity, of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. These three things are all different aspects of the One True God.

    We know for a fact that, in another universe (which must be a part of the Multiverse as a whole), historical Jesus is about to officiate at a lesbian wedding. This is also a wedding of two people who have not only had much “pre-marital hanky panky,” but have also had [I]three[/I] children together out of wedlock.

    Historical Jesus is, theoretically, the real Jesus, not diluted by thousands of years of scripture as written by man. He is a part of the Holy Trinity. He is an aspect of God.

    From this, we can take that God [I]approves[/I] of homosexual relationships, even ones that involve people having sexual relations out of wedlock, as long as those who are in this relationship love one another. This is regardless of whatever was written in Romans, which was written by the fallible being known as Man.

    From [I]this[/I], we can take that Mary should go and fuck herself. Or wait, would that (if interpreted literally to mean “masturbation”) be a sin, too? Well how about she should just accidentally walk into an open elevator shaft and die?

    Mary should die.

    1. Yotsuyasan

      Oh bother. I accidentally used the wrong format to code my italics in the above comment… Ah, well, I am sure most people here are smart enough to figure out my intent…

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        For future reference you use >< not ][

        1. Yotsuyasan

          I know… as evidenced by my deliberately using a few italicized words in my self-correcting post. 😀

          (But man, I wish we just could have an edit button for such things…)

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          Even if you could only edit it for up til 10 minutes after you pot it, that would be nice.

        3. Yotsuyasan

          I know! I try to proof read before I hit “Post Comment,” but there are still many times that after I do hit it, my next action is to look at my post and go, “Aw, crap!” A 5 or 10 minute editing grace period would fix that, and still prevent people from rewriting history if they say something they’d later rather pretend they didn’t.

        4. auo> mous

          Haha pot.

        5. fogel

          You want to edit out the seeds and stems.

        6. Plasma Mongoose

          I wouldn’t have been able to reedit pot as post as I didn’t even notice until you mentioned it.

    2. Charles Phipps

      Well, theres different branches of Christianity and different views on the subject. It also varies from Church to Church. For instance, in mine, our pastor was very clear he didn’t believe homosexuality to be wrong and to believe otherwise is against the spirit of the text.

      1. Yotsuyasan

        I know that some churches (which obviously don’t include the ones that Mary or Joyce belong to) are more open to homosexuals. Heck, there’s one in Northampton which flies a rainbow flag up front! If I was a church goer, that’d certainly be the kind I’d want to go to!

        (Alas, I think I got burned out on the whole thing in my adolescence, and these days you’ll typically only find me in a church for a wedding or funeral.)

      2. hof1991

        There are enough branches of Christianity that any blanket statement about them would be wrong. 2,000 years of division does that. Are only a few saved (144,000 specifically) or is Hitler in heaven? Depending upon your church, one of those may be orthodox. Plus culture and “niceness” step in and replace scripture or tradition. Are gays icky? They they are bad. Does my culture think they are bad? Then they are. It took Christians a loooooong time to decide that slavery was not a Christian virtue.

        So it can be a big buffet. But most people live in one church in one town and are happy enough with that.

    3. Rosicrucian

      Are we seriously going to have an argument about whether Jesus is a Multiversal Singularity?

      1. Yotsuyasan

        If it paints Mary in a negative light, then sure, why not? 😀

    4. fogel

      It’s cool so long as she doesn’t “spill (her) seed”. Doesn’t “the sin of Onan” only apply to guys?

      1. xKiv

        Yes, because women are not responsible for giving their late brother’s wife a (male) heir?

        1. fogel

          Even if they’re lesbians?

  34. newllend

    Mary, I think you just started a fucking war

    1. Yotomoe

      A fucking war? Sounds sexy.

      1. Rosicrucian

        It’s Mike Warner’s time to shine!

        1. Yotsuyasan

          And thus, everybody’s mom looses that war. And restitution was made to Mike in the form of many nickels.

      2. Malchus

        Lets put a whole new meaning to “Ride” of the Valkyries.

  35. Mellydraws

    I wonder if there are any witchy types in their dorm? Mary would probably froth at the everything seeing a girl wearing a pentacle necklace 😛

  36. Ayo

    Mary is basically the evil version of Joyce, all the basic principles but with a terrible personality.

    1. Rosicrucian

      No, I’m pretty sure Joyce has a better grasp of the basic principles than Mary.

      Such as, perhaps, the fact that Joyce recognizes religion as something other than a cudgel to make you feel superior to other people.

      1. Kodra

        Joyce doesn’t really seem to pay too much attention to doctrine. Mary follows a more universally accepted doctrine, but it’s also a super toxic one.

        1. Rosicrucian

          Well being doctrinally correct is fairly useless if your heart’s not in it. Salvation by faith not works is a core tenet of the Protestant Reformation.

    2. timemonkey

      And the best part is, Mary was created to be even better than Joyce! Then reality set in. XD

  37. Idon'tcarenomore

    Totally despise Mary, she is such a holier than thou, holier than thou. And a bongo to boot.
    Does make me wonder who she’s looking at? Obvious would be Billie, and Billie will now have to worry if Mary knows how long will it take her to rat out the RA.
    But, Mary addressed Joyce: seems to be a bit of a thing going on with Becky’s look too: so is Mary accusing Joyce and Becky of having a relationship going?
    Ah well, Mary is probably accusing all of them? She’s that way.

    1. Regalli

      I think she’s definitely using it as a “I know what happened, Billie, and I will use this to RIP YOU APART”… but I could see her also being sure that Joyce, not properly shunning the sinners as she does, is clearly in league with this promiscuous heathen she-devil.

  38. TrueVCU

    I think Mary just unseated Sal as the Queen of Shade

  39. John

    Just punch her in the face ’til she pukes, Billie. It worked in the other universe.

  40. Random832

    Technically that passage in Romans doesn’t say that. It doesn’t say what “unnatural” act it refers to (and lesbianism is mentioned absolutely nowhere else, so there’s nothing to build it on as implied), and even if it did it only says it’s a thing that happened. Not that any of that likely matters to Mary, or to Joyce’s parents.

    1. tinfoil theory

      >for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature.

      Regardless of the inherent sexism of this statement, it leaves no doubt what Paul meant.

      But yes, it doesn’t say it’s a sin; it says it’s a punishment.

      1. fogel

        Paul, yeah. Is it better or worse than women preaching? Since he probably just wanted to keep that gig for himself, maybe that’s what was behind his other statement about women?

    2. Seth

      And on that basis, I’d like to think it means they were having sex with robots, or something along those lines, except that the very next sentence begins, “In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women”. This makes it explicitly clear that men and women were behaving unnaturally in the same way: not having sex with women.

      1. Random832

        Or having “unnatural” sex with each other. There’s lots of “unnatural” things a man and a woman can do.

  41. Charles Phipps

    Of course, the whole thing about Jesus’ ministry was a lot of his doctrine was very specifically reactionary to the stuff which Jewish doctrine was making all-important. The central idea being, “God doesn’t care about stuff which is immoral to persecute.”

    Historical Jesus would be a cool character to show up as a Jewish guy talking about that sort of thing.

    😉

    1. ahuh

      Well, Jesus was bais shammai it seems based on his opinion of divorce amusingly enough. Anyhow it’s rather rich of Mary to start spouting about sin and leading a bible study when she is spreading lashon hara(which she should know about if she knows her bible), publicly bringing someone to shame, and driving a wedge between people.

  42. sps48

    Jeez, Mary, did you not hear Joyce just now yesterday?

    1. Rosicrucian

      Yes, but here’s the takeaway Mary had from that:

      Joyce doesn’t fear Mary (and thus God) enough.

      Yet.

      1. That Damn Rat

        You mean Mary is God? I always suspected he was kind of a dick

        1. Drunken Nordmann

          Well he did make us in his image.

        2. Arkadi

          Your gravatar is so disturbingly appropriate to your comment…

  43. boomwolf

    K so I kinda really hate Mary right now…

  44. chris73

    I’d like to see a back story on Mary to see what made her such a bitter, fucked up, hate-mongering shrew

    1. Itama

      You realize that would mean spending more time with Mary, yes?
      If you want that, she’s all yours.

    2. Fred

      I bet it has something to do with the wristbands….

      1. Boomwolf

        Wristbands, the true root of all evil

    3. Viktoria

      She was raised Christian. That’s enough, in some cases. Give some people a crowd to agree with and you get a one-person lynch mob.

  45. AgentKeen

    Yeeeup… Pretty much what I figured Mary would say to Billie (or Ruth if she saw her first).

    1. timemonkey

      Ruth has already demonstrated a willingness to hit her in the face, Billie’s the safer target.

  46. newllend

    you ever wounder what goes on inside Mary’s imagination zone?

    1. Regalli

      Anime. Anime and Biblical Hellfire on all who are inferior (read: everyone).

      1. Calvin Coolage

        I don’t see her watching anime.

        Of course, for maximum irony, her favorite might just be Evangelion.

        1. Itama

          she draws anime.

        2. Itama

          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/03-up-all-night-to-get-vengeance/pretty/

        3. Regalli

          I was so hoping someone would mention Evangelion.

  47. MrSirk

    The year of Mary starts early!

  48. Calvin Coolage

    Remind me: isn’t Romans the book in the Bible that says you can’t mix fabrics?

    1. Regalli

      I THINK that’s Leviticus?

    2. Neonix

      Deuteronomy 22:11 and Leviticus 19:19 cover this.

    3. Arkadi

      “Romans” is just a letter from St. Paul to… well, the Romans. Paul was the guy who established that in order to be a Christian you didn’t need to be a Jew, much less bother with all the Jewish ritual laws; so he’s actually the least likely guy in the Bible to give you crap for mixing fabrics or eating pork. Dead set against gaysecks, though.

      1. fogel

        Totally cheesed Peter, with whom he had it out. It was a fight about the target market. Paul realised that requiring adult Greeks and Romans to get circumcised in order to become Jewish before being allowed into the Jesus Movement was a serious barrier to market penetration.

  49. MrSirk

    Does Mary even have the power to play this card? Is this even a card to play? Same sex relationships aren’t illegal, they’re not against the school rules. The only one this hurts is Ruth, and at the moment this is a rumor at best. She video tape them fucking. Snap a picture maybe? If it comes down to word against word who’s honestly on team Mary?

    1. Yotsuyasan

      It is still a valid card to play, unfortunately. Billie would not want to see Ruth get hurt, after all. Also, I’ve gotten the impression Billie might not want her friends knowing about her being bisexual. (Likely most of them won’t care, and her fears are unfounded, but that doesn’t make her fears any less real.)

      Thus, as I stated, it is still a very valid card to play. If, that is, you’re an evil and petty bongo who should die.

      Mary should die.

      1. Pat

        Billie wasn’t exactly secretive when Joyce asked her something about it. (“It’s basically inevitable,” something like that.)
        And Walky already knew about her ex, and talked about that to Joyce.

        Now, Joyce may not have quite grokked either of those, but there’s no impression it’s a secret as far as I can see.

        1. Pat

          Billie probably doesn’t want her relationship itself to be known, though.

    2. WeezerLuvr3030

      It’s a valid card, but you have to tap 1 black and 1 red.

      Also, Mary’s dorm room is a Land that you tap so see the cards in the other player’s hand, apparently.

    3. ninja_jesus

      It’s definitely a valid card. Messing around with an RA is pretty bad, since RAs are supposed to be seen as authority figures.

    4. MrSirk

      All I’m saying is unless there’s something we don’t know Mary has nothing. All she saw was Billie leaving Ruth’s room at an odd hour fully clothed. Which can be explained away a thousand different ways. There’s no proof Ruth was even in there from what she saw. She could just as easily accuse Billie of trying to steal something. Unless she was creepily scoping out Ruth’s room from her cracked door all night. I guess she could have seen Ruth lying to Joyce and friends first but that’s pretty flimsy.

      1. Eukie

        She could be probing for a reaction, trying to ascertain whether she has some useful material on Ruth and Billie or not. Or she could be threatening Billie with the rumour itself.

  50. Rutee

    Man, Fuck you, Mary.

  51. Tomas

    She’s acting so much like Pennsatucky, more than usual.

  52. Itama

    Ok, seriously this time. |:[
    Where is my fucking truck, and why is Mary not under it?

    1. auo> mous

      Mary, go fuck a truck.

  53. Dave

    Automatic hate train for Mary. 😀

    1. DudeMyDadOwnsADealership

      “Hate Train” is practically all she’s got going on in her very existence besides Church & Bible Study.

  54. yoni crisis

    wait, did I miss something? how is it Mary knows?

    1. chris73

      Shes knows something but no real proof

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-5/01-when-somebody-loved-me/clear/

      1. Yoni crisis

        Riiiiight! Totally missed that.
        Thnx, now it makes more sense.
        Mary should “trip” on the stairs or something.

  55. Fletcher

    I was going to say that Mary is probably the only unequivocally nasty character in DoA, but then I remembered Blaine. It seems that most of Willis’ characters are more prone to well-meaning mistakes and errors of thinking, building for themselves without active malice their own downfalls, but then there’s Mary. I’m not sure whether or not it would be worthwhile exploring Mary’s worldview and rationalizations more. On the one hand, it would round out her character a bit more from “malevolent, judgmental affront to Christ” … but on the other hand, it’d mean we’d have to spend more time with Mary.

  56. ninja_jesus

    If Joyce sees Billie as a best friend, I hope that the climax of this drama bomb sees Joyce defending Billie and Ruth’s relationship against Mary.

    Also, I have a theory for the way that this will be heading. Potential spoiler warning.

    1. Adam Black

      i dont see a freshman chosen as an R.A.

    2. Lanval

      Best “Christian” Friend. I mean, she hasn’t got a lot of alternatives here; I don’t think she’d count Sara as Christian. Dorothy and Ethan, definitely not. Walky and Sal are iffy both as Christians (To Joyce, Walky probably comes off as Agnostic and Sal hasn’t shown signs of being different) and maybe friends (Walky due to being annoying and Sal due to hero worship). So, Billie’s could still be kind of low on the totem pole, just the highest Christian.

  57. Pat

    Mary, I find your evil plan underwhelming.

    I mean, I guess it’s evil, but it’s not much of a plot.

    1. timemonkey

      Mary has so far implied to Billie that she is aware of something Billie and Ruth want kept secret as well as demonstrated that Joyce, one of Billie’s only two real friends, is against it as well and played the religious damnation card, all without saying anything she could be reported for. As a play against Billie it’s a pretty good opening move.

      1. auo> mous

        She revealed her hand a little early.

  58. Black Bumblebee

    Can I punch her? I want to punch her.

  59. Hoodiecrow

    I believe it was The Edge who said, in reference to U2’s 50m-wide, 150000 pixel screen behind the stage on the PopMart tour, “If God watches television, his screen is not as big as U2’s”.

    Maybe Mary doesn’t really have a scheme. Maybe she’s just happy to have found someone to righteously tear to shreds.

    1. Thomas64

      I think the glee on Mary’s face when she saw Billie come sneaking out of Ruth’s room says it all. She wants revenge on Ruth for the dick-slap (and other assorted beefs real or imaginary, no doubt), and knowing that Ruth has a secret means there is the potential for exploiting that secret to inflict grief.
      Sad to say, first signs are that it’s working. Billie’s expression in the last panel looks like the shocked look of someone who just realized there is deep trouble brewing.

  60. Victor Riley

    Hmmmm… we have the “nice, sweet likable Christians”, and the “bongoy horrible human being Christians”.

    Nothing in the middle? “The Christian we don’t mind, but don’t really think about.” “The progressive with a good heart, but annoying personality Christian”?

    1. JessicaWhitmore

      Isn’t that what Billie is supposed to represent?

    2. tinfoil theory

      That might be Billie.

      1. timemonkey

        And Danny.

        1. Viktoria

          Also Sierra, Roz, and Robin.

          Also every character that isn’t Ethan, Joe, Dorothy, or Dina.

    3. Lanval

      Billie is on one end as a Progressive Christian with issues. Don’t forget she can be a jerk.

      Joyce is on the other as a mostly decent person who can still be a jerk because she’s still getting used to the idea of “progressive” being a good thing.

    4. That Damn Rat

      The problem with reasonable, middle of the road characters is, well, they’re boring. So yes characters in a drama situation tend to gravitate to the more extreme ends of the spectrum as that engenders conflict, which is the lifeblood of narrative.

  61. TheStranger

    So Mary thinks they’re still in high school, also?

  62. Orangey

    I can’t read Becky at all in the 3rd panel. I don’t know if it makes her seem less gay or more gay now. Ahh! Plus it does kinda look like Mary is looking at Becky when I kind of expected her to be looking at Billie. As it obviously is a stab at Billie. Really obviously. C’mon Mary don’t be a bongo. lol who am I kidding Mary’s always a bongo. but you gotta love her for it

  63. JessicaWhitmore

    Um, actually it says that man may not lay with man as he would with woman. So lesbian sex is totally cool. Also men can have sex with men if it’s not missionary position. Sucks how so many bible readers seem to not actually read the bible?

    1. David M Willis

      Romans 1:24-27New International Version (NIV)

      24 Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. 25 They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.

      26 Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. 27 In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.

      1. Seth

        “In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women”
        You know, just like the women abandoned their natural relations with women. I think the takeaway from this is that having sex is only natural if one’s partner is female.

        1. Deanatay

          Except that homosexuality has been shown to exist among animals, and can therefore be argued to be natural.

        2. Seth

          I suspect you may have missed the mocking tone I was trying to convey, as well as my literal meaning.

      2. Ruck Bogers

        Unnatural relations, like sex with dogs, instead of sex with people.

        1. Seth

          Dogs are also natural. It must have been robots.

      3. DudeMyDadOwnsADealership

        Romans 2:1 through 2:12 is comes right after that. Does Mary feel it relates to this strip in any way?

      4. JessicaWhitmore

        I was joking.

    2. gwalla

      PROTIP: Never start an attempted correction with “Um actually” if you want to be taken seriously. Or PROTIP, either.

      1. JessicaWhitmore

        PROTIP: I did not want to be taken seriously.

    3. Tikitori

      Yeah, I wouldn’t challenge the author here with “Not reading the bible.”

      1. Tom Speelman

        Dude, Willis knows what he’s talking about. You try and correct him on this stuff, you’re gonna have a BAD TIME.

        1. JessicaWhitmore

          I didn’t try to correct him. Nowhere in anything I have said was I correcting him. I was doing like modern-day Christians do (in a mocking manner) and reinterpreting things written in a book to serve my own ends while ignoring other parts, all in a completely non-serious manner.

      2. Emperor Kiva

        You know I’m starting to think that even now. We still can’t truly translate the bible. Even with our computers and experts. I honestly think we’re still winging it. Because of the saying Life, Liberty, an the pursuit of happiness exists. If God doesn’t like gay or lesbians why the hell would he/she let that exist in the first place?

        1. Seth

          There are a great many things that God allegedly hates yet exist/happen regardless. That’d have to be one hell of a mistranslation. Can we be certain that any translation of the Bible is perfect? Nope, any translation is almost certainly flawed. Can we be confident, though, that the mistakes are tolerably slight? Yes, we can. The languages in which the Bible was written have changed, but they aren’t even dead, much less lost to time. Here’s a much simpler explanatory theory: the Bible is wrong.

      3. JessicaWhitmore

        I never said anything about the author. I was making a joke about the character of Mary. Where did I say anything about the author?

        1. Bard

          It’s kinda sad. I got your joke JessicaWhitmore, a shame it is being jumped on like that, because I think it was quite funny. Until people started taking words so literal…;-).

  64. Time Sage

    At least she didn’t use Leviticus as her example. That’s invalid by default.

  65. nkh

    Was anyone else expecting a different short word that starts with D to follow “like to think God has a massive”?

    … No?

    Just me?

    I’ll show myself out.

    1. Seth

      Since we’re not talking about the Greek pantheon, no.

      1. gwalla

        I’m just gonna…leave this here…

  66. Potatamoto

    My dream response (though clearly Billie’s in no mental state at the moment to be so off the cuff): “Okay, you’re clearly insinuating that you think I’m gay. I don’t really care where or why you think that, but I AM curious about why you’d think I give two fucks about your opinion!”

    On an unrelated note, I *hate* Daylight Savings. Before you poor, deluded souls outside of Arizona pointlessly shifted your clocks around I could sneak off to a computer as the Barnes and Noble at which I work begins closing procedures and check out the new DoA, Shortpacked, etc. A lovely little pick-me-up at closing time. Now I’ve gotta wait till I get home like a sucker.

    CURSE YOU BENJAMIN FRANKLIN!

    1. Pointless Responder

      As an interesting note, Benjamin Franklin came up with the idea as a joke to mock the French. And even then, it wasn’t entirely a direct correlation to modern daylight savings; it was more like a method of timekeeping in which the day started at dawn. We have the day start at midnight; the Jews and other societies have had the day start at sundown; and navies have historically started the day at noon. Franklin’s satire was stating that everyone should be roused by church bells and cannons at dawn to maximize the use of daylight, since high society types tended to sleep until past noon so their evenings would be free.

      Just trying to protect my man Ben’s back.

      1. Potatamoto

        Your chosen name belies your purpose in this instance, my skeptically-sneering-Mary-avatared friend. This is a key historical tidbit I was unaware of…and the fact that M. Franklin himself didn’t really believe in the concept just adds to my conviction that the whole thing is unnecessary and pointless. Having lived without it my whole life I can tell you I haven’t missed it. My brothers who have moved out of state, by counterpoint, loathe it more than ever.

        It is a pointless thing driven solely by traditional inertia that does little more than keep me from enjoying my webcomics in a timely fashion. But hey, that’s just my hang-up!

        1. fogel

          I LOVED DST as a kid in Ohio and celebrate it every spring and summer eve now that we have it in Indiana: light out till 10 for a stroll! Only thing better was the summer solstice that I spent on the shore of a fjord in Norway when I realized that it wasn’t going to get dark all night! Many of you anti-DSTers are nice folks and I understand your preference … but PTHT!!!

        2. artemi

          As a fellow Ohioan, I don’t understand why we bother to roll the clocks back in November. Why make the day end FASTER? Why not just leave it permanently forward, so the sun isn’t setting at 5pm?

        3. fogel

          Amen!

  67. nothri

    The Bible also says judge not lest ye be judged. Or, in the subtext, SHUT UP MARY.

  68. CianM1301

    Quick Billie! Get your insanely powerful girlfriend to rough her up!

  69. Speedball

    Mary’s doing it again. You notice how she likes rolling up her eyes every so often when talking about how awesome she is, and smirking? It’s like even SHE can’t fully buy the bullshit coming out of her mouth.

  70. Evan Dark

    Actually God doesn’t say anything about lesbians, at least not in the Bible. being a Gay man, that is a sin (according to the bible), but not being a lesbian.

    Even God wouldn’t be so cruel to forbid hot lesbian sex…

    1. David M Willis

      Romans 1:24-27New International Version (NIV)

      24 Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. 25 They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.

      26 Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. 27 In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.

      1. Dave James

        If Mary would keep reading that passage for a couple more verses, she would get to the part about Gossips…

        1. Drunken Nordmann

          Can you enlighten me about that? I’ve never read that much of the Bible. I’ve only read the Gospels and parts of Genesis.

        2. Dave James

          Romans 1:29-30 (NIV)

          “29 They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, 30 slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents;”

        3. Drunken Nordmann

          Thanks. That’s what I first thought when you mentioned gossips, but I wanted to be sure.

        4. Arkadi

          A Fundie reading the whole of the Bible and being consistent about it!

          Inconceivable!

      2. Evan Dark

        Yes, I know that verse, but it’s really ambiguous (and even more so, when you look at multiple translations of the original text).

        Can it be interpreted as saying that homosexuality is a sin? Yes, if you try really hard. Does it state it clearly? No, not even close to it.

        Leviticus 20:13 is a better example. That passage says it clearly, that homosexuality is a sin, however only for men. I don’t know every verse in the Bible, but as far as I know it’s never mentioned clearly as a sin for women, or for both sexes.

        1. Heatth

          Maybe. But that is the way Joyce and, presumably, Mari interpret the Bible and, therefre, that is the interpretation that is relevant to the comic right now.

          Joyce explicitly mentioned the Romans, so saying that Leviticus can be interpreted as forbidding male homosexuality only is irrelevant. Joiyce believes Roman forbids Lesbians and that is what matters.

        2. Evan Dark

          Yeah, even without the Bible, it’s “pre-marital hanky panky” for Joyce. And ultimately it’s up to the church to decide their doctrine (the Pope, the Patriarch, or whoever leads).

          I just find it funny that, while most people THINK the Bible clearly forbids same sex relations, that isn’t actually true (It misses out lesbians)

        3. Drunken Nordmann

          That’s the problem with free churches – there is no real head of church, leading to what you could call a mixed bag. Some of them are very tolerant actually promote kindness towars sinners, while others, well – but that’s what happens when there’s no one in charge who’d be able to reign these people in.

        4. democraticMayonaise

          y’know this whole problem is why we don’t have a nice long episode of Adventure Time on Princess Bubblegum and Marceline’s conjoined backstory. Grow up, governments. Don”t outlaw that, that’s shitty thing to do.
          Wait a sec……
          I CALL BULLSHIT
          I forgot that we could do that.

        5. Rutee

          No, no it bloody well isn’t. It’s loading homosexuality amongst women with a bunch of negative words and talking about how it’s a just dessert. This is just rules lawyering (Including the part where precedent says you’re wrong but you’re continuing anyway). That’s not ambiguous at all.

        6. Evan Dark

          Read the passage, God punishes the people with homosexuality, among other things. It’s very clear that a village, where everyone was turned into gay, won’t last long, so is the reason behind the punishment.

          It does speak of sinful- and homosexual desires, and other things, but it doesn’t say if those two things are separate, or same desires in this case, and it says nothing general about homosexuality.

        7. David M Willis

          Rutee: “it’s grouping homosexuality with a bunch of other negative stuff and describing it as a punishment”

          Evan Dark: “read the passage, it’s saying god punishes the people with homosexuality, among other things”

          You apparently agree with Rutee, but you seem to have missed the part about that whole thing about homosexuality being administered as a punishment among other terrible things still being fucking awful and kind of the opposite of an endorsement.

        8. Deanatay

          But wait a sec – generally, calling something a punishment is not the same as calling it a sin. In fact, Christianity considers many punishments cathartic, and redeeming of sin. So, if God punished sinners by making them homosexual, was he actually trying to help them?

        9. David M Willis

          “Christianity considers many punishments cathartic” is not something I’ve experienced, especially since so many of these punishments were, y’know, death.

        10. Seth

          It’d be pretty bizarre for it to be both punishment and sin. Think about it. “You have broken my law, and so I shall punish you by FORCING YOU TO BREAK MORE OF MY LAWS. THAT’LL LEARN YA.”

        11. Lanval

          Alright, stand back as I go full rules lawyer here:

          //Technically,// they are only given over to “shameful lusts” and “unnatural sexual relations” which could be read in ways other than “homosexuality”.

          Further, it only says men “abandoned natural relations with women” but not that they abandoned relations with women entirely.

          It seems then, on this very technical (but depending on how translations pan out, still valid) reading, “unnatural sexual relations” could be interpreted as a variety of things that are not necessarily homosexuality.

          It’s a stretch but I’d be willing to offer it as a response and see how they reacted.

      3. fogel

        “received in themselves” … isn’t that the point? I had a student who argued a biblical line on sex but a libertarian line on drugs, on the basis that the latter is about what you put into your own body. I pointed out that that’s pretty much what (consensual) sex is about too. The class seemed to accept that as appropriate ….

        1. Seth

          Agreed. And “due penalty for their error” is pretty weird, as euphemisms go.

  71. vmgx

    Nice reference david

  72. Bugberry

    I think Mary just compared herself to God.

  73. Crumplepunch

    B-words.

  74. timemonkey

    And thus Mary comes for Billie just to be a bongo, as it must be in all universes.

  75. davidbreslin101

    Trying to remember: is Billie actually a Christian, or is Joyce just taking her sarcastic remarks about Jesus at face value?

    1. Eukie

      Billie claimed to be a Christian in an early strip, when Joyce wanted her to come along to church on a Sunday.

    2. begbert2

      She’s one of those “I’m christian because everyone around here is” types.

  76. Cynthia

    I hate Mary. :3

  77. Jon_Sered

    Homosexual acts may be a sin, but they sure feel good!!!

  78. Ross Vernal

    Her very first sentence shows how “Christian” she is…

  79. The Aussie Bloke

    I need to lure Mary over to the 910CMX forums… The Lost and Found could use a snack.

  80. Shawn L.

    Why Billie drinks: Reason #273

  81. Grace

    Ha, not the only one who thinks that Becky could be gay. It makes sense cause early when she was talking to Sarah and was all “gee, you’re so lucky to be with Joyce ALL the time.” It could be a stretch, but it could be that Becky has missed Joyce so much to the point she may have realized she had feelings for her, so thats why she travels out of the blue to see her. I don’t know. Could be she is just gay and wanted to tell her best friend right away and see if she could help her. It’s not like with Ian where she dates him to shoo the gay away. It could be harder with a girl friend.

    1. Lanval

      It’s a pretty common theory as far as I saw. I’m holding my breath for move evidence one way or another before ruling on it, but I could see it.

  82. cynicwithcinnamon

    Mary, are you saying you’re god? Isn’t that one of the most basic laws of what not to do?

    1. Drunken Nordmann

      It sounds more like she sees herself as an agent of god, projecting her own horrible beliefs on him, i.e. god made it possible for her to see that so she can act against it in his will – which isn’t any better, to be honest.

      1. fogel

        She has an official badger and everything. 😉

        1. Drunken Nordmann

          Uh, you meant to say ‘badge’, right?

        2. fogel

          From above:
          Ghostforge
          November 6, 2014 at 12:23 am
          “Badgers?!! We don’t need no stinkin’ Badgers!!!!!”
          It’s a line from a classic movie in which Humphrey Bogart is prospecting for gold up in the mountains and some bandits tell him they’re Federales, so he asks where are their badgers, and one of them answers as Ghostforge quotes. So if Mary is an official agent of God, she must have an AoG (Agents of God) badger. Billie should ask to see it! “If you’re working for God, show me your badger.” (That’s badger, not beaver.)

        3. Drunken Nordmann

          Uh, ok – that makes sense, I guess?

  83. eoslives@net-link.net

    There’s only one person in today’s comic in danger of going to hell in a world with a just deity…

    1. begbert2

      A just deity could never send anybody to hell, at least not permanently.

  84. Bagge

    So what is even Mary’s angle in this? Does she set the stage for blackmailing? Does she want to have Ruth fired? Is she lashing out against an (in her eyes) acceptable target? In either case there are few constructive reasons to gloat about it.

    It’s almost like she’s a bully who’s only motivation is to have power over someone else.

  85. Claire

    1600 Penn ;.;

  86. Miles Dryden

    “God sees everything.”

    Would that include you being a massive bongo?

    1. begbert2

      Yes, but she favors the old testament, in which God itself is a massive bongo, so she figures this will only get her closer to its good graces.

      1. Arkadi

        Fundamentalist Christianity in a nutshell.

      2. Lanval

        If she really read the old Testament, then she’d know that God wasn’t fond of competition.

        Only room on this cloud for one boss bongo and it ain’t going to be the Golden Ox.

  87. OmegaDez

    My, what a bongo.

    Also, are lesbian relationships that taboo in Indiana?
    If DoA was set here, Billie would be all like “Yeah, your point being?”

  88. begbert2

    Yes Joyce, she’s talking to you. And you know your sin. And while she’s beautiful in her own dangerous way, and though your attraction is justified, your love for Sal’s motorcycle will always be taboo.

  89. Chris

    Mary is like everything wrong with Roomies, collected in a coffee filter, and left on the kitchen counter for weeks because no one seems to throw it away. You slowly get used to it being there, and when you actually notice it, it’s the vilest thing ever.
    God, if you kill off any characters in this universe, please let it be Mary. She is babies.
    Or Malaya.
    Or Danny.
    Or anyone worth making drama for.
    Whatever. It’s your comic. I’m just here to enjoy the totes awesome ride.

    1. timemonkey

      Malaya and Danny are far superior to Mary.

  90. Arkadi

    Don’t you just love how Joyce and Becky are on their own private wavelength like the best of childhood besties? ^^ Mary can go eat a prayer book, that’s what I’m keeping of today’s strip.

  91. RuffDraft

    May I suggest a topic for your Christianity group? “The Salem Witch Trials.” Also, fuck you, Mary.

  92. Rani

    Delenda est Mary

    1. fogel

      You should change your screen name to Cato and end every post with those 3 words!

      1. Rani

        I tried doing that 4 strips ago.

        Willis shut that right down.

        Honestly, I don’t blame him.

        1. fogel

          Obviously you can’t blame God: writing “damn you Willis” is like writing “damn you God.” But when I saw your “Mary delenda est” I was totes stoked: that was brilliant!

  93. Seth

    I hate my FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE.

    1. OnyxIdol

      You know You can always change it right?

      1. Seth

        Sure, by signing up for yet another unnecessary Internet account (the fewer accounts I have, the better). Anyway, my original comment wasn’t meant to be a serious complaint. Just a humorous twist on the chorus of “I hate Mary.”

        1. John

          It determines which “random” gravatar you get from a hash of the email address you provide. The address doesn’t have to be a real one, and I believe the hash is case-sensitive, so you can change the address or just fiddle with the capitalization and it’ll change the gravatar you’re assigned. You’ll probably have to get approved again, though.

        2. fogel

          Mary delenda est

  94. Kamino Neko

    Y’know, I’m strangely pleased that Joyce cited Romans for that. If you’re going to have unpleasant opinions because the Bible tells you so, at least cite the right verse for them.

  95. Jams

    I know Mary has a problem with Ruth because of the time when Ruth slapped a dick on her face but does she have specific beef with Billie? I would think she would want to direct her blackmailing directly onto Ruth, but maybe she is just so hateful she’ll target anyone she can.

    1. John

      There was that time when Billie busted into her room without warning or invitation when she was naked at 3 PM.

      1. marasoph

        Citation, please?

        1. John

          Okay, not “naked”, technically. She was wearing panties and wristbands.

  96. Stormrunner

    😛 Romans is letters written by Peter to the Romans. Has no indication of coming from God at all.

    Hope Mary and Joyce know this XD.

    1. Kamino Neko

      Romans is letters written by Peter

      Paul. All of the epistles referred to by their recipient rather than their (purported) writer, with the likely exception of the Letter to the Hebrews, are Paul’s. (Probably.)

      The two epistles traditionally attributed to Peter are simply First Peter and Second Peter. (Though Second Peter being by him is doubtful.)

      1. Stormrunner

        Yeah, I realized my mistake today after thinking about it…ugh.

  97. Cheryl

    Billies like :this is why I dont do laundry…..

  98. Opus the Poet

    Nobody noticed that Mary has red irises, the universal sign that she’s possessed by a demon. Quick, call Jack Lalanne!

    1. Kamino Neko

      I feel I’m missing a reference, here…what does Jack LaLanne have to do with demons?

      1. chris73

        To exercise the demon I’m guessing?

        1. Kamino Neko

          <Michael Palin>What a terrible joke!</Michael Palin>

  99. shammers

    i think it’s funny in panel three that all three of those girls look nervous. becky’s got some ‘splainin to do

    also mary get outta here

  100. advancecasette

    *scratches caveman head*

    why does billie not just throw down with fisticuffs and nip this in the bud now

  101. Mr. Morningstar

    I LOATHE MARY WITH A BURNING PASSION

    1. 3oranges

      Little did we realize that when Willis promised noone gets hit by a truck, it was actually a way to deny us hope.

      1. democraticMayonaise

        She could die another way, like being hit by a BUS. Or trains. I like trains.

  102. Starling000

    Mary don’t you dare make Billie’s life any harder than it already is. ;n;

  103. ailorn

    Well now Billie knows that she knows. It’ll probably trigger Billie’s anxiety but it could also be a misplay on Mary’s part to tip her hand so early. It only can bother Billie and Ruth if they give it power. And not such a big news flash but Mary is a bongo.

  104. artemi

    …Really, guys? You think MARY is going to out bongo Billie? This is JUST the thing Billie needs to reassert herself in this weird time she’s having where she isn’t sure quite who she is right now.

    If this doesn’t end up with Billie going all “Queen bongo Head Cheerleader” on Mary, I’m going to be very disappointed.

    1. monica

      i like the way you think! I’m ready for Billie to reconnect to her inner bongo — tearing Mary down is just bonus.

      1. xKiv

        And it’s hard to keep that inner bongo down!

    2. timemonkey

      Except Billie isn’t the Quenn bongo Head Cheerleader anymore. She has no authority, isn’t popular, is out of shape, is suffering from depression and alcoholism and resorting to physical violence would get Billie in bigger trouble than anything else.

      Mary’s in a much more secure position than Billie and has no reason to be intimidated.

      1. artemi

        Billie’s problem isn’t status; its attitude. She’s down and depressed, and she needs her fire back!

  105. Ruck Bogers

    Does it say anything about lesbians in the Bible? I always assumed the passage in Romans was talking about bestiality.

    1. fogel

      “Simon, son of John, do you love Me? John 21:17.
      “If you love Me, you will keep my commandments. John 14:15.
      “Greater Love hath no man than this, that a man lay …

      All of the places in the Bible where it traditionally says “love” it should really say “lesbians”, according to the new Bryan Lee O’Malley edition (BLM).

      1. fogel

        “Simon, son of John, do you LESBIAN Me? John 21:17
        “If you LESBIAN Me, you will keep my commandments. John 14:15.
        “Greater LESBIANS hath no man than this, that a man lay …

  106. Aaron Bourque

    Yes, a massive DVR set up to record and later watch all the lesbian sex he supposedly disapproves of.

  107. Heather

    What I don’t get is why Mary is even at a secular college in the first place. Like I’m not saying all christians who attend christian colleges hate non-christians (I don’t think Becky does), but if you’re one who is like this in Mary’s case, then what the heck are you doing going to a secular institution? Did you not make the grades Mary for said hypothetical college? Was Indiana your second choice? Only unlike Dorothy, who remains (mostly) positive, and is attempting to get into her first choice later- you instead remain bitter and don’t try to do anything to change your situation at all?

    I mean you’re still and will still be terrible if you got into one it seems but goddamn why are you here if you seem to hate it so much outside of attempting to make people’s lives miserable.

    1. Lanval

      I think it’s probably because Mary needed easy targets to look down on?

  108. unicornwater

    OHP WELL there goes the drama train

  109. Hoboturtle

    Oh no, Mary found out about Billie’s and Ruth’s relationship which is bad… because… I don’t know. I really don’t get what Mary plans to do besides for what she just did. Billie doesn’t seem like that much of a religious person nor does she have reason to listen to Mary.

    Hell, the only reason I can see it being kept secret is because they want privacy and that’s about it.

    1. nothri

      Depends on whether or not Billie wants the relationship to be public, and whether or not having a sexual relationship with one of the students in your charge is against the rules of being an RA.

    2. DudeMyDadOwnsADealership

      That, and her relationship ties to her shared alcoholism which involves Ruth’s breaking of the rules she’s supposed to enforce for all her hard-boiled pretenses of ‘running a tight ship.’

  110. nothri

    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2010/comic/book-1/01-move-in-day/stragglers/

    So Mary’s animosity towards Ruth and Billie has existed almost exactly as long A Billie and Ruth’s horrifically dysfunctional romance!

  111. Nena

    Mary is a megabongo!

  112. FuryOfFirestorm

    And that DVR is full of lesbian pay-per-view porn.

  113. Julez

    Can we have the “no one dies” rule lifted for Mary? Fuck I hate Mary.

  114. zmm

    I still don’t see how Mary saw anything..
    Ruth and Billie didn’t kiss in the hallway or anything. All she could have seen was those 3 asking Ruth if she’s seen her, then Billie leaving but looking like she wasn’t suicidal now..
    So.. she just jumped straight to lesbian? as opposed to.. RA actually doing her job?

    1. John

      Given how nosy Mary’s been shown to be about anything happening in the hallway, I think it’s likely that she saw Billie go in the night before and didn’t see her leave, and then in the morning Billie’s friends came by looking for her, and Ruth claimed to not know where Billie was, and also said that she wasn’t wearing pants, and then shortly thereafter Billie left Ruth’s room. It’s not direct evidence, but she can deduce: 1) Billie probably spent the night in Ruth’s room, 2) Ruth and Billie don’t want even Billie’s friends knowing that, and c) whatever they were doing in there didn’t require pants.

      She may have also overheard some of their discussions. I’m not sure how thick the walls in Read are.

  115. Jay

    So, will Joyce find out how hurt Billy is by this and will she change any of her bigoted opinions? Eh, who am I kidding -keeps sweeping them under the rug-

  116. cj95

    I still don’t get why this is a big deal?

    So what if Ruth and Billie are having sexytime?

    Back in the day, our RA could date whoever she wanted, resident or not.

    1. Jacob Newburn

      I think it’s implying that since she has “power”, if something where to happen to Billie, it would greatly effect her decision making skills if they where dating.

      1. cj95

        Possibly.

        Unless Billie is a minor…theoretically possible as a freshman…Im still not getting the drama.

        Any alumns know what the RA dating policy at Indiana?

        1. cj95

          Nevermind looked it up myself….

          quote: ……Resident Assistants and Graduate Supervisors are academic appointees. As such they are bound by the same guidelines, which exist for all academic appointees. In addition, it is the expectation of RPS that amorous “dating” relationships not occur between in-center staff members within the Residential Operations supervisory chain. Such situations endanger the trust, communication, and understanding among the other staff and residents, as well as fuel potential violations of our institutional anti-harassment policies.
          Staff members departing from this expectation are subject to disciplinary job intervention including dismissal…..

          Its a little hard to decipher…it seems to indicate no dating other employees rather than residents?

        2. timemonkey

          Don’t date people in your command chain, AKA people who have power over you or people you have power over. So they’re free to date people they aren’t watching over.

        3. Jacob Newburn

          Basically it’s saying “Don’t date employees, and try not to date students.”

  117. Jacob Newburn

    I’d like to punch Mary in the nose.

  118. Em

    If the school finds out they are going to get in trouble. I attempted a romance with my RA last year. He turned me down because of school regulations. If Mary told, Ruth could get fired. Goddamn it Mary.

    1. cj95

      I guess it depends on the school. That’s a little harsh on the RA’s

    2. timemonkey

      Ruth totally deserves to be fired. Mary’s still a horrible bongo though.

  119. ozaline

    You know with some Churches or Bible studies it seems like EVERY week’s talk is about homosexuality.

    1. Lel

      Got to wonder about someone who has gay sex on the mind that frequently but is supposedly straight. All I have to say.

  120. Lanval

    Looking at the Comments, I am beginning to enjoy Mary just for how pissed off she is guarenteed to make everyone in the comments. She is like a Meta-Mike or Roz: where they can shock/annoy/troll charactrs, Mary invariably pisses off the entire readership.

    It is glorious.

  121. TheSuicidalGiraffe

    DAMN IT MARY IF YOU FUCK THIS UP FOR EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!

  122. Dorje Sylas

    So, blackmail it is. Hopefully Mary won’t get monetary with it cause that could get criminally interesting REAL quick. While not a Federal crime on just about every states’ books.

  123. slithey.gyre

    I’m the active father of a young lass who was borne to a lesbian couple to whom I donated, after being introduced to them by my wife. Pretty much all available family is directly involved in the life of this progeny.

    When I say, “This strip is alien to me,” please take it in the sense of SFAM alien or R. Scott Alien – ’cause that kinda goram pudu don’t live in our world.

  124. Rheios

    Fucking Saul and his letters.

  125. Joebo

    Why is it that every time I see Mary on the screen I want to punch her in the face?

  126. VioletsAreGay

    I have never seen anyone more passive aggressive than mary. Its truly incredible

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