143

Younger
Posted on July 21, 2013 by David M Willis

143 thoughts on “Younger”

  1. Wonder Wig

    Those renegade Leafs, refusing to be called Leaves.

    1. Kernanator

      They won’t be constrained by your “rules”, man!

      1. Kennerly

        When is somebody going to introduce them to pot? No withdrawal symptoms!

        1. antiqueChairman

          Yeah, but then Sarah would get them kicked out of school.

    2. Sgore

      Supposedly it has to due with the team name being a proper noun, and therefore subject to different pluralization rules.

      (Source: http://lastwordonsports.com/2012/10/24/the-peculiar-side-of-sports-why-not-the-maple-leaves/ )

      But I like the idea of hockey teams actively choosing to be grammatical renegades more.

    3. TurtlyLooker

      Better than being one of two variations of “Sox”.

      1. Undrave

        Yeah… what’s up with that? Who wants to be named after socks?? And do the Red Sux… I mean Red Sox actually wear red socks as part of their uniforms?

        1. merbrat

          The used to.

        2. merbrat

          *siiiigh*

        3. merbrat

          (they) “” does not show up

  2. SUGauthor

    I just realized the storyline changed, when did that happen?

    1. Yotomoe

      This morning. Each new day is a new chapter. With Dorothy wakin’ up.

      1. Mr. Random

        She then rolls over and tells Walky about going to go to class, only to find out she never went to college. And she’s thirty-two.

        1. John

          And it’s Joyce next to her.

        2. Neospector

          And Joe is behind her.

        3. Jinxed44

          And everything is burning

        4. Anon

          And Mike is the bed.

        5. Roborat

          And then it gets wierd.

        6. Mkvenner

          Ronald Reagan is there in nothing but a pair of socks and a hat.

  3. Plasma Mongoose

    They really are the Odd Couple.

    1. saltchocolate

      Nah, Plas, they’re not *that* different from one another. Some other couple that’s got snappy dialogue . . .

      1. Yotomoe

        They both have gender in common.

        1. saltchocolate

          True. Maybe they’re more like Ernie and Bert. : )

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          I have trouble visualising either of them as Bert.

        3. Mr. Random

          Oddly enough, I always envisioned them as brothers. The more common reference to them never really crossed my mind.

        4. Totz the Plaid

          I’ve always thought of Ernie and Bert as brothers, too. Calling them a gay couple has always bothered me because to me that’d be incest!

          Make any two other Muppets a gay couple, and I’m cool with it, but Ernie and Bert are not fucking incestuous! No! That is NOT happening!

          Incest is disgusting!

        5. Crimson Doom

          Cancer incest?

        6. Optimus Prime

          I am confused. If they are engaged in a combining relationship, than the evidence that led you to conclude they were brothers is explained another way. If they are brothers, the evidence that they are in a combining relationship is similarly otherwise accounted for. In one case, they are brothers, but do not combine, in the other, they combine, but need no longer be brothers. Why do you not simply reassess your original conclusion rather than integrating it to the new one in a way that clearly distresses you?

        7. Anon

          As usual, I agree with Optimus Prime.

        8. Megatron

          Because, Prime, it’s important to stick to your guns! That’s why. Remember when you killed yourself over a video game? That was awesome.

        9. The Lurker

          Billie & Ruth are brothers? How long have we known that?

        10. Doom Shepherd

          I blame Amber’s dad.

        11. Wack'd

          Um…so do the Odd Couple.

        12. lightsabermario

          Please don’t.

  4. ArkhamTexan

    Are you talking to Billie or to us with that alt-text, Willis? Because if we’re going to have a serious discussion then I should probably put on some pants and offer everyone attending a drink.

    1. Buckybone

      Oh, he’s talking to us alright.

      Also applicable to religion, by the way.

      1. ArkhamTexan

        It’s applicable to a lot of things! That’s just the way we are! Ain’t nothin’ wrong with that. Although, as a Cowboys fan, it just means I’ve been suffering for YEARS now. Damn that Jerry Jones!

        What do you want to drink?

        1. DanMan9820

          Cowboys? At least you won a couple Super Bowls. Here in Minnesota, we have a team with and 0-for-4 Super Bowl record!

        2. Jacob

          Two words, and possibly the most cringe-worthy words in the NFL: Detroit. Lions.

        3. ArkhamTexan

          You win.

        4. Totz the Plaid

          As a geek, I mostly ignore sports, but I have a soft spot for the Red Wings since they’re the one consistently great sports team in the area.

          I’ve been to Tigers and Pistons games, and I’ve enjoyed them (and I’m a fair weather ‘fan’ who roots for them, though I never watch televised sports*), but the Wings are the only ones I’d be willing to put myself behind.

          *caveat: I sometimes watch sports that aren’t part of the ‘big four’ (Hockey, Baseball, Basketball, American Football), such as tennis, but only rarely.

        5. Poli

          I’ll see your Detroit and raise you the Cleveland Browns (I am a New England man myself, despite being from Texas. But I blame video games for that)

        6. Andy

          That’s a tough one, really. I mean, on the one hand, they’re the Detroit Lions. Sucking is part of their culture. On the other hand, the Browns are from Cleveland. And no one deserves that.

        7. laurenh

          Can’t remember the exact year off-hand (I think it was 2008) but the Lions won every game in their preseason and then continued to lose EVERY SINGLE GAME in the regular season which set a new NFL season record as it was the first time a team had lost every game since a couple extra were added to the regular season.

          That’s not bad, that’s awe-inspiring!

        8. Guitarwanker

          Oh man, no cleveland wins. There should be a whole page dedicated to god hates cleveland. This has nothing to do with the town, its not most peoples cup of tea but it appeals to some. But in the sports world the gods have forsaken cleveland like no other town. Also I’m not a browns fan but when the vikes were brought up, my first thought was cleveland.

        9. Roborat

          You are from Texas and are not a Cowboys fan? How is that possible, isn’t it like, a felony or something?

        10. BlueRam

          PFFFFTTT. I was born in northern columbus which made me a BROWNS FAN.

          I DARE you to think of an NFL franchise with worst luck.

        11. ArkhamTexan

          … I’m going to make them all hard drinks then. Here’s to you, my Browns and Vikings fans!

        12. TurtlyLooker

          Bills.
          Buffalo Bills.
          The Browns were BAD, but the Bills were, four straight years, UNLUCKY.

        13. Mr. Random

          I live in Chicago, I don’t have anything to complain about for the year. Also, just ginger ale for me. Followed by an actual ale. Then a beer keg. and a goat.

        14. ArkhamTexan

          Sorry, all I have is the goat.

          And Chicago has CM Punk. You can be happy FOR LIFE!

        15. ArkhamTexan

          Ah, the good ol’ Bills. 😀

        16. David

          I bet you already had brown diapers.

          You think you have it bad? They don’t even have baseball where I am from. Or American football.

          We need to rely on TV for getting brain damage.

        17. dethtoll

          hi guys we’re the bengals what’s happeni- uh oh oh no MLLOORRRRGHGPHPHP

        18. etyb

          Posting for the first time on this site just to say that RG3 will haunt your dreams for the next 12-15 years.

        19. ArkhamTexan

          I’d be more upset about RG3 if he hasn’t been such a damn class act so far. Goddamn NFC rivals Redskins… but you just can’t help but love RG3! I’d rather lose to him than Eli Manning *any* day!

        20. etyb

          I’d rather lose to Eli than Romo, but that’s just because I dislike the Cowboys so much. Also because Eli can be pretty funny: http://snygiants.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/image001.jpg?w=270&h=300

          I honestly feel kinda bad for Romo that he’s stuck with Jerruh as team owner. Sure, he didn’t have to sign that extension, but when you’re offered that much money it’d be pretty hard to turn it down. And this is coming from a Redskins fan…thankfully Snyder has started to atone for his sins.

        21. ArkhamTexan

          You’re not kidding about Jerry. I mean, yeah, there’s the Browns and the Lions and all the other rest of the teams that have been ragging themselves on this thread, but EVERY GODDAMN YEAR the media (fueled by Jones) is front and center and thinking that anything less than a Super Bowl win means the season is a failure for the Cowboys. EVERY. YEAR. The same promises are made and broken and Jones doesn’t have any damn clue that, y’know, perhaps it’d be good to be outta the limelight for a while, pipe down, and just play some football with the hopes of having a respectable season. Instead, it’s “Super Bowl or Bust” and it’s been bust for about 18 years or so now. But, each year, we Dallas fans buy it hook, line, and sinker.

          http://www.thedrawplay.com/?p=304

          It’s very much like that.

          I love Tony Romo. I just hate that the Cowboys is his team. I was actually hoping he’d go somewhere else because he’s fantastic–but NO ONE would be able to find success under Jerry’s rule.

          But, hey, Jones makes craptons of money on the Cowboys and they’re the highest-valued franchise in the NFL right and have consistently been up there in terms of money-making. So the fact that they keep making money tells Jones he must be doing something right so he’ll stay the course since it speaks in dollars.

          My god, he’s the Vince McMahon of the football world.

        22. lightsabermario

          Exactly. I used to be a Cowboys fan. Emmitt Smith got me into football in the first place. After that era, I still held a candle for them a little, but not enough to suffer through years of mediocrity. I’ll root for them when they’re against a team I hate or don’t care about, but within the NFC East I love the Giants (parents from New York, plus I’m a huge Manning Family fan).

          Some teams that suck for a while tend to cycle back to the forefront due to collecting high draft picks, such as what’s going on with the Lions. (Cleveland is exempt from that rule because the management has no effing clue what they’re doing.) However, the ‘Boys have never been able to succeed or fully suck, so they are trapped in a limbo of average. They are pretty much the definition of average. The good news is that the NFC East is so even with no clear dominant team, that they could pull themselves out at any time. But they don’t.

          The strange thing is, it’s not that the talent isn’t there. Maybe the team mindset needs adjusting. More often then not, they tend to shoot themselves in the foot and prevent themselves from winning games. If they could keep penalties down, and play smart near the end of games, maybe they could make it into the playoffs.

        23. etyb

          Jerry’s biggest problem is that he’s a lousy GM. If he wants to promote/hype up his team, fine, I guess as owner that’s what you’re supposed to do. But if you’re gonna be GM, you have to be able to hold yourself accountable to any mistakes you make, or at least listen closely to your scouting and personnel departments. He does neither and at this rate he’ll end up being Al Davis 2.0.

        24. Guitarwanker

          Except he’s made the news a few times this offseason for some less than class act reasons. He needs a bad season next year or he runs the risk of being a ryan leaf/cam newton saga, tons of potential but too big too quick.

        25. etyb

          What “less than class act reasons” would those be?

        26. Rheinman

          Cowboys and Redskins have both been bad for so long that it’s not much of a rivalry any more. That said, I think I can apprecate the awesomeness of RGIII even if he is whipping up on the Cowboys.

          I am fortunate to live in a town with for professional sports teams. If the Cowboys are down then the Rangers or Mavericks are doing better. Now, if only the Dallas Stars can pull it together with new ownership, management, coaching, players, zambonis, hot dog vendors, etc…

        27. ArkhamTexan

          Ugh, Rangers just lost their 4th in a row tonight though. And, right now, they’re our best franchise at the moment. But, hey, they can pull it together in time…?

        28. etyb

          I think you’d have been right, but now that Washington finally has a real QB and a legit offense that steamrolled the Cowboys both in Dallas and back in MD/D.C., I’d say the rivalry’s back.

        29. The Lurker

          Hey I’m a Cubs fan… you got nothin….

        30. The Lurker

          and just a CokeZero for me I’m the DD.

      2. Tachyon

        I’m trying to think… the only things I like that’re local is some of the food and a tiny bit of the scenery.

        So I guess I like stuff from other places because of where I’m from? Weird.

  5. Buckybone

    Physical trauma to the…nah, too easy.

  6. Gram91

    In the immortal words of Joe, “Now kiss.”

    1. saltchocolate

      … and that grav. Couldn’t be better unless it was Joe himself!

    2. ambiguousArsonist

      Lets just go with to the Faaaaaccceeeeeeeee

    3. Luzahn

      Aw, now I’m just sad that these two aren’t as, er, friendly as the Roomies versions.

      1. Kernanator

        They would have been, but Ruth fucked that up.

        1. John

          bongo shouldna shoved her.

        2. Yotomoe

          Meanwhile in the Walkyverse Billie shoves Ruth to the ground.

        3. John

          ‘S not so much a “shove” as a “pounce”.

        4. Yotomoe

          bongo shoulda pounced me.

        5. Totz the Plaid

          Everyone wants Billie pounces!

  7. Kernanator

    Everyone knows that physical trauma makes everything better. Just ask the attendees of my last birthday party!

    1. Tbf

      Why is Joyce wearing the “safer sex” hat?

      1. sidhe3141

        She lost a bet.

        1. Kernanator

          The real answer is that, as you probably know, Roz’s first appearance had her wearing what I later dubbed the Condom Cap. Naturally, I thought this was the most fantastic thing ever, and cropped it for my gravatar. And this was good, for about a year or two. Then came “Guess Who’s Coming to Galasso’s, with Joyce’s grumpy face. And I thought this was also fantastic. But now I was faced with a dilemma: I was still fond of my Condom Cap, but I also was in love with Joyce’s grumpy face, which I felt could be useful in all sorts of situations. And I had no image-editing software of good enough quality to combine the two myself. Fortunately, Heavensrun did (and I am very thankful Heavensrun decided to help me). So now I have the best of both worlds.

          sidhe’s explanation works on an “In-unverse” level, though.

        2. Kernanator

          …Why do I keep forgetting to close my quotation marks?

  8. Yotomoe

    Panel 3 Billie is cute.

    1. Link

      Billie’s so cute that Panel 2 and Panel 4 Billie is cute.

      1. Kernanator

        …Panel 2???

        Anyway, Billie is always cute. And sexy.

      2. Yotomoe

        So are panels 6 and on.

    2. Totz the Plaid

      Panel 1 Billie’s the cutest to me, but Billie’s always sexy as hell.

  9. Gram91

    I think that Billie isn’t getting the worst of it is probably because she doesn’t drink out of depression.

    1. Yotomoe

      Ruth, Just grab one of Billie’s boobs. You cannot…I REPEAT CANNOT be angry while holding one of those.

      1. Kernanator

        It’s like eating chocolate. No one can be angry while eating chocolate.

        Unless you hate chocolate or something, but you’re a MONSTER for hating chocolate.

        1. Gram91

          I don’t think that’s the best simile for that particular action.

      2. CrazyPete

        Two of the things i love in this world boobs and chocolate

        1. Emoroffle

          Ever tried boobs covered in chocolate? They are awesome.

        2. Notebooked

          The first man to craft boobs out of chocolate will make himself an easy fortune.

        3. Gram91

          They can already do pudding, shouldn’t be too hard for chocolate. But brings up the question of which is better.

        4. HMRC4EVR

          Chocolate Pudding Boobs?

  10. Pyr05

    We don’t complain about how the Leafs suck. We just wish they would win. And every year, we hope they do.

    1. Kennerly

      The Leafs are the Cubs of Hockey, and Hockey is the Cubs of North American professional sports.

  11. zomgvampires

    Oh god, being reminded that the main characters aren’t even of LEGAL age to drink makes me feel old.

    1. Yotomoe

      Not me. Ruth’s still older than me.

    2. Kernanator

      I’m about the same age as Ruth.

      Which feels kinda weird, seeing as I basically started college at the same time as Billie.

    3. andmangrewproud

      Maybe that’s why the exodus of characters from Shortpacked has bugged me so much… they are much closer in age to me than their younger dummiverse counterparts.

      1. zomgvampires

        I think Shortpacked! Amber is two years older than I am. So I completely feel where you’re coming from. It’s weird to see them in this verse. Not complaining, but it’s hard to remember that for the most part, they’re supposed to be 10 years younger than I am. I have no idea what that says about me.

  12. John

    C’mon, Billie, that’s not how you respond to Ruth complaining about being alone. Alternate-universe you knows where it’s at!

  13. Emoroffle

    These two need to kiss already. Again. Mutually.

    I remember reading Roomies and every character was older than me.

  14. SonsOfSauron

    Can we just have Ruth & Billie comics forever?

    1. Wensleydale

      Can they get a whole universe to themselves? Themselves and the Leafs?

      1. The Candyman

        With Joe watching?

  15. Sporky

    I like how Ruth isn’t even mad at Billie making fun of her.

    1. Yotomoe

      I mean she’s kinda threatening violence.

      1. John

        That’s how she flirts.

    2. saltchocolate

      Exactly! They’re just shooting the shit. They seem to have skipped romance and gone straight to we’ve-been-together-so-long-we-have-the-script-down… That means we need some retroactive Ruth-Billie romance, licky-style — right now!!

  16. Uniqueantique

    My hoverlink is busted. I can’t ‘see’ the nifty hidden messages embedded in the comic by Mr. W. anymore.

  17. Anguirus

    OK now they’re almost too adorable together.

  18. CallMeIshmael

    Goddamn, Ruth is an asshole. And an alky. Detox symptoms at 20? When did she start drinking? 5?

    1. Crumplepunch

      Yeah, I think her being an alcoholic was pretty well established.

  19. Notebooked

    Not most! Just…the largest percentage of!

  20. bibulb

    [yellingbird]
    YOU NEED MORE HOT ACTION IS WHAT YOU NEED SO START GETTING BUSY WITH EACH OTHER’S BAD SELVES
    [/yellingbird]

    That said, sometimes one finds an actual affinity in a luck-of-the-birth regional grouping – I know that I do identify pretty deeply with much of the character of my hometown.
    (But not our sports teams, because NERD.)

  21. Crumplepunch

    Hurr de hurr indeed.

  22. Jackson

    Sobriety buddies!

  23. Arkadi

    Is “physical trauma” an euphemism for “getting laid”? Coming from Ruth, it probably is.

    1. Luzahn

      Everything is a euphemism for Ruth. She’s cranky because nobody is ever responding to her advances.

      1. Arkadi

        Everything?

        Wow, I wouldn’t have imagined she wanted Joyce *that* bad.

  24. LookingIn

    Well you would need physical trauma to account for being a Leafs fan, it goes along with the mental trauma of realizing they are perenial disappointments and the emotional trauma of being constantly up and down as a team.

    Then agian it’s still healthier than being a Chicago Cubs fan 😉

  25. AJBulldis

    But my favorite team has ALWAYS been the…

    …one moment please…

    …Yankees/Giants/Rangers/Knicks!

  26. Andy

    See, this is why you shouldn’t be a Leafs fan. You should like a good team.

    Like the Blues.

  27. Lurlock

    Do they HAVE cheerleaders in hockey? I’d just think the combination of cold and violence would make it somewhat impractical to have a bunch of girls in miniskirts out in the rink…

    1. Justnobody

      Correction: it would make it better.

  28. ajm5007

    Those two years can actually make a big difference at their age.

  29. Ruck Bogers

    It’s true! Most of the stuff that I enjoy either comes from Europe, the Americas, or Asia! And I was born in one of those places!

  30. Mattyos

    And this is why I’m a sabres fan!

  31. Ryorin

    Thus my sort of caring about the Seahawks, Mariners, and Sounders when I remember that major league sports exist. Despite not living in that state since I was a baby. And they still manage to be the closest major league teams in the country to me despite being nearly 1500 miles away.

  32. ninja_jesus

    No Billie, you aren’t, but you could be nailing it, if you catch my drift. 😉

  33. HMRC4EVR

    I mentioned this to Walky at Botcon but Ruth and Billie still haven’t addressed the elephant in the room: why DID Ruth kiss her? I mean, we know based on other incarnations of these characters, but in-universe they haven’t sat down and Billie says “Ruth…why did you kiss me?” or something akin to that.

    Guess it was easier for them to focus on the alcohol issue for now than anything else.

    1. Arkadi

      Ruth kissed Billie because she has the hots for her. Neither of them have addressed the subject because it’s kind of obvious.

  34. Darth Cariss

    My favorite sports team is the L.A. Lakers even though I’m not from California. Is that weird?

  35. Belades

    As a Red Sox fan, I can verify that the hovertext is 100% accurate.

  36. Ziaheart

    About that hovertext… it actually decides what I hate rather than what I like.

  37. Roborat

    Not me, I was born in Ottawa, and I don’t cheer for the Senators, and the Rough Riders no longer exist, not that I cheered for them anyway. I am an Edmonton Oilers/Eskimos fan. Before the Oilers existed, I was a Black Hawks fan, and still cheer for them once the Oilers are out of contention. In my defence, I was an Air Force brat, and lived all over the country growing up.

  38. nothri

    I just say obscenities. I’ve never barfed them up.

  39. takashid

    in hindsight this strip hurts pretty bad. dammit Billie

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