476

Paid
Posted on August 13, 2013 by David M Willis

476 thoughts on “Paid”

  1. Kernanator

    It’s like he’s trying out for the part of a supervillain.

    Look at those poses and tell me he isn’t.

    1. Yotomoe

      He needs a manaical laugh.

      1. AgentKeen

        He’s like the villain from The Muppets, he just says “Maniacal laugh” over and over.

        1. GoldStarz

          … I was going to make that joke…

        2. AgentKeen

          ‘Great mind think alike’ High-5!

          (This happened with someone else in the comments last week, too.)

        3. AckAckAck

          Or you’re GoldStarz long lost brother/sister with psychic connection…

        4. TCS

          **dramatic music**
          **fadeout for commercial break**

        5. timemonkey

          Hopefully Deadly will throw him off a tower as well.

        6. Regalli

          No, no, see, the villain there SURVIVED being thrown off a tower and then I’m pretty sure some blunt force trauma to the head. We don’t want that.

        7. Hewlett

          But the blunt force trauma made him into a better person! That might be good!

        8. AckAckAck

          Just wait until another blunt force trauma reminds him of his old evil way!

        9. Lunarrosebunny

          Totally off topic but Timemonkey what is your Gravatar from?

        10. Revil Fox

          It looks like it’s from Reboot.

        11. Mr. Random

          It’s Reboot. Hexidecimal to be specific. Her sadistic rage mask to be more specific.

        12. Neospector

          Very few people can pull off sadistic rage masks, you know.

        13. Volkai

          That’s why you only put on a sadistic rage mask if you plan to keep it on for a long time.

        14. AckAckAck

          The problem is you’re not a good villain if you already put the sadistic rage mask up front. A good villain will conceal his identity until the last minute and reveal it with dramatic flair.

        15. Marika Oniki

          Isn’t that one more sadistic/bloodthirsty glee? IIRC, her eyes tend to turn red when she’s angry and using the pointy-teeth grin.

        16. Lunarrosebunny

          Thanks you guys!

        17. Ronnie

          That’s funny, because Chris Cooper’s performance there was my first thought reading his lines. XD

      2. GoldStarz

        He has one, its just that that he hasn’t kicked a puppy in weeks and it really has him on edge.

      3. thecanvashat

        He’s holding back after a harsh case of laryngitis.

      4. TheGrammarLegionary

        I know, right? A lot of people ignore the laugh, and that’s about standards.

    2. JBO

      He needs to meet Galasso.

      1. Tomb

        Galasso needs to destroy him!

        1. gears

          PERFECT GRAVATAR.

        2. Groove

          MY GRAVATAR IS ALSO YELLING

        3. Cybersnark

          Agreed. Best way to deal with a supervillain is to summon a better supervillain.

        4. AckAckAck

          Unless they find mutual understanding and build an alliance. Then Amber will be screwed.

        5. The Candyman

          Galasso, Blaine, Faz, and Mike will form the League Of Villainous Evildoers Maniacally United For Frightening Investments In Naughtiness.

        6. Beachfox

          VEMUFFIN?

          What the heck is a VeMuffin?

        7. The Candyman

          Did you not see the “League Of” part?

        8. xKiv

          It’s the League Of VEMUFFIIN! Gooddoers beeware!

        9. VZG

          And then Mike screws them all over just to prove that he’s the best villain because he doesn’t help anybody?

        10. The Candyman

          And then he’d go bang Amazi-Girl’s mom, just to undo his helping her.

        11. gears

          LOVEMUFFIN!

      2. Vree

        I second this. They should compete for best supervillain family. It’d be the clash of the century.

    3. qka

      He needs to meet Sarah.

      1. AckAckAck

        I dunno, sure Sarah got harsh retorts but I don’t think a cynical college girl can stand against a member of a Korean mafia who willing to do physical harm toward others.

        1. Thasvaddef

          Sarah has more than once shown herself to be more than willing to do physical harm to certain people.

    4. GoldStarz

      He needs to meet Dotty.

      1. AckAckAck

        And?

    5. Tunaro

      He needs a brick to the face.

      1. Squall

        His face needs must be acquainted with a block of fired clay.

        1. Aizat

          He needs to be thrown out an airlock….or to the sun by a dude named Bob.

        2. tahrey

          A flower named Bob, surely?

        3. Aizat

          An angry flower named Bob.

        4. Don

          J-Javik?

        5. Starscreamer

          Javik would have given him a choice…join the Empire or…oh wait. No he’d have probably just shot him in the face.

        6. anifreik

          His NADS must be acquainted with TWO bricks, rushing together most speedily!

      2. Sol

        FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCEEEEEEE!!!

      3. AckAckAck

        And MY AXE! to swing at his noggin.

    6. toddtr

      Where’s Amazi-girl when you need her?

      1. GoldStarz

        Would you say that He needs to meet Amazi-Girl?

        1. NightmareWarden

          He needs an Amazi-fist in his faaace. Sorry, I’m tired. Let’s try again:
          He needs an AMAAAAZI-FIST In. HIS. FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!

      2. Robin

        Came here to say something like that. Only with more thinly-veiled aggression, and something about his funeral.

      3. Beth

        Hah, I was going to say the same thing. Amazi-Girl needs to show up and punch him in the face. For srs.

      4. John

        I’m ready for Amazi-Girl to become the kind of gritty anti-hero who kills the villains.

        And the dude hasn’t even really done anything yet.

    7. Kernanator

      He needs to meet Sal.

      1. AckAckAck

        I think Sal is the one who have skills to go against him.

    8. Kamino Neko

      Well, problem solved, then.

      Amber just has to bring him to Gallaso’s, and the Big G will have him rubbed out for trying to horn in on his territory.

      1. AckAckAck

        the Big G will have him rubbed out

        Giggity

    9. Hinoron

      And the role of this comic’s Supervillian will be played by… a douchbag dad. Sorry, we TRIED to book someone awesome like Venom or TwoFace, but they had scheduling conflicts… both of them… or so they said over the phone.

    10. Vree

      Supervillain father, sperhero daughter. Makes perfect sense.

    11. Kirt Dankmyer

      He’s not a supervillain. He’s a PUA. It’s… worse.

  2. Justnobody

    Actually someone did ask for it. Yoto drew it, even.

    1. Yotomoe

      And I’ll draw it again. They’re adorable together in the ugliest way.

      1. Keroshino

        I approve!

      2. Volkai

        Draw what and where is link?

        1. Yotomoe

          I was busy. Maybe later. haha.

        2. AckAckAck

          So you’re going to draw DinaFaz?

          Do it, just to troll everyone >:D

      3. VZG

        But that’s so cruel to poor Dina!

  3. Jen Aside

    Dina why did you ever leave the safety of the door-behind? =<

  4. Yotomoe

    IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII SHIP IT.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Where to?

      1. Doctor_Who

        Abu Dhabi, of course. Between the adorableness of Dina, and the obnoxiousness of Faz, together they equal exactly one Nermal.

        1. Kernanator

          That was my first thought too! Except I couldn’t remember the location.

        2. tahrey

          Along with 20,000 NEETs?

        3. Squall

          Faz would love being in the desert with 20,000 naked NEETs

      2. Kernanator

        Albuquerque.

        1. Doctor_Who

          Where the shriners and the lepers play their ukeleles all day, and the air smells like warm root beer!

        2. Joebo

          And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel!

        3. Link

          But I need that nickel to pay for your mom’s services.

        4. AsimovSideburns

          She can multitask

        5. AckAckAck

          That place is like an Eldritch city described in HP Lovecraft story…..

        6. Turbo Sexaphonic

          WOCKA WOCKA DOO-DOO YEAH

        7. tahrey

          YES INDEEDY YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT

        8. NightmareWarden

          A place that smells like root beer? That sounds like either Canada or heaven. I haven’t been to either, but I felt that was worth saying.

        9. Shade

          Remove the “root” and replace it with “Maple Syrup” and you’d have it right.

        10. AckAckAck

          Until you encounter Maple Syrup Mafia.

        11. The Candyman

          Which Ruth’s grandfather is the Godfather of.

        12. Tomaj

          Please no. We do not want a Faz in our state.

      3. xain

        the bermuda triangle never to be seen a again

      4. GoldStarz

        Ysmault, although the way this chapter is going, I’ll be there when it arrives.

      5. JBO

        The city without name.

      6. Joebo

        R’lyeh. Let Cthulhu deal with the blighter.

    2. Bill M.

      Well, give Faz a shovel in the other universe, and I’m pretty sure it can be shipped there too.

    3. GrrArg42

      I will not ship it, you can’t make me.. no sir.
      http://cdn.meme.li/i/o4zdl.jpg

  5. Smooth

    Smooth. Very, very smooth. Faz almost.

    1. thecanvashat

      Tip 2 is to imitate Saurornithoides Mongoliensis.

  6. AHR

    FAZ NO

    1. NerdHerder

      PUT THAT COOKIE DOWN

      1. Squall

        NO SECRET GAYBIES FOR YOU!

        1. GrrArg42

          WHAAAA!!!!
          Make the scary Faz go away!
          T_T

          PS Stay away from Dina. Or else!

    2. Historyman68

      OH JOHN RINGO NO

      1. Mr Mercury

        RINGO STARR NO

  7. Platypus

    Ah Frak…

    1. Squall

      “You can swear, you know”
      –David Willis on fracking

      1. Crimson Doom

        “Just because you can swear doesn’t mean you have to.”

        -Me

        1. GrrArg42

          I like to swear a shat on my shead.
          …Ssmooth.

  8. thecanvashat

    THAT IS THE UNIVERSITY’S ROOM DONT YOU DARE MAKE A PORN SHOOT.

    1. Yotomoe

      It’s already happening in Faz’s mind. IT’S ALWAYS HAPPENING IN FAZ’S MIND.

      1. JBO

        Did it also happen during the car drive with his dad?

      2. thecanvashat

        And then Dean McHenry kicks down the door, sedates Faz, and hooks him up to the Dream Machine from Inception.

        1. Doctor_Who

          God, an Inception sequel in Faz’s head would be like a cross between Eraserhead and Caligula!

        2. thecanvashat

          All the projections would be naked ladies.

        3. Squall

          http://squallloir.tumblr.com/post/58154179966/vote-canvashat

        4. bibulb

          Except instead of being all David Lynch, everything’s done up in Powerpoint.

  9. Maxy

    Nope. Still can’t set comic characters on fire with my brain.

    1. Ataro

      You need to try harder.

    2. mechaqua

      Perhaps you weren’t trying hard enough. Mind over Matter!

      1. thecanvashat

        Mind over Matter, Photoshop over Picture.

        1. GoldStarz

          And if that doesn’t work, there’s always fanfiction.

        2. mechaqua

          These are all viable options, the important thing is Blaine is on fire.

        3. thecanvashat

          http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m97xyyXp3L1ru1vb5o1_400.png

    3. Joe

      The tried-and-true method of printing the strip out and setting that on fire still holds, though.
      It’s almost as good.

  10. David Herbert

    I think he went to Galasso’s for breakfast and inspiration hit.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Galasso has charisma, though. I don’t want him to take over the world, but I don’t actually resent the idea.

      Whereas if I heard Blaine had been elected local dogcatcher I would lose all hope for humanity.

      1. NightmareWarden

        He would shower the world in shedded dog hair and create a deadly sleigh of dogs. Mecha-dogs. NO! Mecha-Cerberus Sleighs!

        1. Crimson Doom

          That sounds more like Galasso than Blaine.

  11. Plasma Mongoose

    Is her dad a villian or just a bitter asshole?

    1. Totz the Plaid

      Yes.

    2. Lord Fuhrer President Penguin

      just a bitter asshole i have the feeling.

      1. Yotomoe

        that tonight’s gonna be a good night.

        1. thecanvashat

          tonight’s gonna be a good night,/ yeah I got a feeling.

        2. JBO

          Ohoooooooooooooooooooooooo,
          That tonight’s gonna be a good night.
          That tonight’s gonna be a good night.
          That tonight’s gonna be a good, good night.

        3. Squall

          I’ve got a feeling

        4. LimeTH

          I was listening to that song RIGHT as I read these comments. Good show.

        5. AliaPie

          Doesn’t look like it’s going to be a particularly good night, actually.

        6. JBO

          But Faz would like to “get it on”.

        7. Tunaro

          That pretty much makes it like the total opposite of a good night.

        8. Yotomoe

          By this chart you can see it’ll be the best night.

  12. GoldStarz

    Is it too early to kill this guy off? I don’t think it’s too early to kill this guy off.

    1. JBO

      I want to see Mike flipping of his corpse again!

    2. Yotomoe

      Dina’s parents explode and kill him in the blast.
      IT’S ALL WE COULD DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

      1. GoldStarz

        And then we cut to Penny randomly evil laughing

      2. Squall

        Yoto, why do you take my heart and RIP IT TO EXPLODING SHREDS. 🙁

        1. Yotomoe

          It’s my job. I get paid in tears.

        2. The Candyman

          Delicious, delicious tears.

        3. GrrArg42

          “Tears of unfathomable sadness” – EC

        4. GoldStarz

          You forgot the part where it turns out he’s not only perfectly fine, but he now has superpowers, turns into Incredi-Ass and fights Amazi-Girl, breaching her immunity to criticism and putting her out of commission and then the comic becomes solely about how his powers are causing him to get stupider and stupider, so he hires Carol and Hank to be his advisers and their daily lives together.

    3. Regalli

      It’s NEVER too early to kill this guy off.

    4. AckAckAck

      You know, the quiet one usually the most dangerous. In case Faz acting too much touchy feely toward Dina they will whip out swords and guns and what was left is a puddle of blood and meat.

  13. AgentKeen

    The Awkward Smile is back!

    Also, arm the torpedoes! Sink that ship nao!

    1. Aizat

      NUKE THE SHIP FROM ORBIT! LEAVE NO TRACE OF IT, NOT EVEN A MOLECULE!

    2. AckAckAck

      It will be hilarious if from all possible shipping turned canon this is the one Willis will set sail.

      The rage of the comment section will be off the scale.

  14. Darth

    “Well, technically, it’s MY room, isn’t it?”

    OH YOU MEAN LIKE HOW THIS KNIFE IS TECHNICALLY YOUR KNIFE JUST BECAUSE IT HAPPENS TO BE LODGED IN YOUR SKULL YOU PIECE OF SHIT?

    1. David Willis

      +1

      1. thecanvashat

        Is that enough for Amber to level up?

        1. JBO

          If not she can jsut go back to killing spiders.

        2. Squall

          http://squallloir.tumblr.com/post/58122859991
          LEVEL UP!!

    2. ArkhamTexan

      I consider it my personal canon that Amber was a part of the debate team and that this is how it usually turned out. If she needed some extra pizazz, she’d throw a dude from a wheelchair at someone else.

      1. AgentKeen

        “My opponen’ts arguments have several important flaws…”
        “AMAZI_GIRL IS IMMUNE TO CRITICISM…. I, uh, I mean, who’s this Amazi-Girl person?”

        1. Totz the Plaid

          “Eeevil woman! Duh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh…”

    3. Ocbrad1

      This. This wins today’s episode of the Internet. Bravo!

  15. typo

    oh godddddddddddddddddd

  16. arjay2813

    poor dina

  17. JBO

    Yes, I most defenitely did not ask for that ship.

    1. Yotomoe

      You’ll take your ship and like it!

      1. JBO

        No, no you have to threaten to take away my Dotty/walky ship if I don’t like my Dina/Faz ship. Otherwise it won’t work!

      2. GoldStarz

        *launches cannons* Neveeeeeeeeer!

  18. David

    The art that will pop up on Rule 34 now. Oh god, the horror.

    1. AckAckAck

      And yet I bet people will look for it.

      Curiosity destroy the heart (and eyes).

  19. The Meek Ninja

    Dammit Dina! Just turn into a dinosaur and eat him!

    1. begbert2

      But he would enjoy it!

  20. -_-

    No not dina any one but dina.

  21. Blue

    The sad thing is I know someone whose dad is actually like this.

    1. Yotomoe

      He does wicked evil villain poses when he talks?

      1. JBO

        I will do that once I have children just becasue I can.

    2. Tristan B.

      Kill it with fire! Quickly, before it spreads.

    3. Totz the Plaid

      The sadder thing is that my dad IS somewhat like this.

      He has had no actual education in physics, but he refuses to accept physicists’ findings because “they’re wrong”.

      He once made a scene at a karate lesson because I trusted the sensei’s teachings over his opinion and actually yelled out that because he payed for the class, that means that he knows better.

      In the past I’ve told him that I felt a certain way, and he claimed I was wrong. Not that I was wrong to feel that way (though that would also be dickish as fuck), but that I was wrong and didn’t actually feel the way I thought I felt.

      I’ve cut that fucking asshole out of my life.

    4. Ribbits

      The sad thing is that I do too.

  22. AHR

    Also, did we see the strip with Amber mentioning her dad to Dina? I don’t remember that.

    1. The Candyman

      There wasn’t a strip. And I’m not sure why Amber would talk about it in the first place; Dina certainly doesn’t seem interested in peoples’ relationship with their parents.

      1. Totz the Plaid

        It was probably during the few days skipped over while Dotty was studying. Amber likely brought it up because she knew there was a risk of him showing up.

      2. JBO

        Amber probably predicted that her dad will come someday to be a docuhe and just thought it might be a good idea to warn her roomie in advance.

      3. Yotomoe

        So what you’re saying is…panel 3 is a strip tease?

    2. David Willis

      She’s mentioned him to her at least once: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/06-strange-beerfellows/kiss/

  23. xain

    wow never have i met someone who made Faz look this likable by comparison

    1. Tanarin

      Yeah, I mean at least Faz is funny at times.

      1. thecanvashat

        Now if Blaine was wearing a funny hat…

        1. Squall

          http://squallloir.tumblr.com/post/58124077402/silly-blaine
          Here’s a Silly Hat Blaine!

        2. xain

          that actually does wonder despite loathing this prick it all melts away looking at that picture

        3. Squall

          He’s a real party animal

        4. DEG1377

          Nope. Still feel burning rage and seething hatred. Huh…

  24. dee

    Faz is a redpill dude. Oh god.

  25. Ridureyu

    “This is mine. The money came from me.”

    “No, Dad, I paid for it. From my job.”

    “Well, I’m your father, so it’s all my money!”

  26. Geminia999

    So, when’s the tragic backstory?

    1. thecanvashat

      Faz is dead, and Dina sees dead people.

      1. Dreamer

        And the dead people all hit on her creepily.

      2. Plasma Mongoose

        Faz is a genderswapped Moaning Myrtle?

        OH MY!

        1. Squall

          Moaning Myrtle is actually alive as a face in a cement block in London.

        2. Blue

          We don’t talk about that.

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          But why? It sounds very interesting to me.

  27. Syngraphea

    I literally choked in outrage. And not over the “technically, it’s my room, I paid for it.” Uuuuuugggggghhhhhh. Get *away* from her, Faz. Just get AWAY.

    1. Luzahn

      Faz has upgraded to a whole new level of unsettling obnoxiousness, and it’s only taken two pages of DoA!

      I shudder to think of him in a week.

  28. K. Ivan Ruppert

    Oh please tell me this ends with Blaine in handcuffs.

    Or Eathan decking him. Either works

    1. Crimson Doom

      Why must it be only one?

  29. Lord Fuhrer President Penguin

    Dina run just run.

    1. thecanvashat

      Use the power of the ornithomimids!

    2. Kernanator

      No Dina, stand strong. Stand strong and RISE LIKE A PTERODACTYL!

      1. Aizat

        And eat Faz! Eat him, my pretty…….Wow, I didn’t know what came over me.

        1. MM

          No, don’t eat Faz. He’d probably be into that. And you don’t want to know where he’s been.

  30. JBO

    Amazi-Girl beats him up later on. Calling it now.

    1. thecanvashat

      Why would Faz beat up his father?

      1. JBO

        Ew, now I imagined Faz and Danny making out.
        Well then again the two are pretty much made for each other. Both suffer from too much clingyness when it comes to girls.

        1. thecanvashat

          Lots of heavy petting does seem like something Faz would think was the epitome of eroticness (eroticity?), though.

      2. Hoboturtle

        It all makes sense. Both thier hair has the same shape.

  31. ArkhamTexan

    I’m sorta reminded of one of Lenny’s comebacks in Law & Order when someone made the old “I pay my taxes, meaning I pay your salary” quips someone makes when they want to be smartass with cops.

    “You know, even though you pay my taxes that doesn’t mean I *personally* work for you, right?”

    Unless he bought the entire college, it’s still the college’s room so he should shut his goddamn mouth.

    1. Squall

      You are amazing

      1. ArkhamTexan

        Well… yes. ::and is humble too::

  32. The Candyman

    Blaine is definitely going to be Amazi-Girl’s archenemy. Seriously, the dude’s one lab accident away from becoming a supervillian already.

    But he doesn’t seem as bad as Shortpacked! Blaine, though. That’s good, I guess?

    1. Bunivasal

      Comic book villains are loveable by comparison. Most of them are garish cartoons; Blaine is evil because you can see the reality in Everything he does.

    2. Regalli

      Not yet, at least.

      I’ve seriously got zero hope at the moment.

  33. Gram91

    I’m surprised a restraining order wasn’t issued. Though I can see several in Faz’s future.

    1. Yotomoe

      Faz is a walking restraining order waiting to happen.

      1. thecanvashat

        Faz can’t be restrained! He is the great Faz! None can dare restrain the might of Faz, sent from Olympus! These mere morta–

        Wait, what?

        1. Yotomoe

          Faz will probably only be more turned on by restraints.

    2. David

      Oh, there probably was. That makes the visits short and expensive, so it’s a challenge to make them worth it in hit points.

  34. Yotomoe

    I like to imagine that Blaine is standing there normally but Amber is so afraid of her dad she imagines him makeing crazy villain poses in evil amounts of lighting.

    1. The Candyman

      Does he end every other sentence with an evil laugh in her mind too?

      1. Yotomoe

        He is actually Constantly evil laughing. He’s actually talking WHILE laughing.

    2. Reepicheep-chan

      I do not even think he is posing or standing abnormally, it just looks that way because of the lighting and the low angle. Everything he is *actually* saying and doing is fairly subtle, really, it is majorly creeping me out.

  35. NeutroBlaster

    Well then, Blaine is as big a douchebag as he was back in the Walkyverse. That’s nice…. Faz however is still awesome.

  36. Doctor_Who

    So who’s being the bigger creep here, Blaine or Faz?

    Faz makes my skin feel clammy even through a monitor, but Blaine sets off my “Kill to cleanse the world” instinct a lot more. It’s guys like him that make me see the charismatic side of daleks.

    1. Yotomoe

      What are you talking about. Faz is adorable. I wanna hug the dude but I feel like he’d be sticky.

      1. Doctor_Who

        “You experience the natural adhesion of Faz! Ladies are powerless to escape! As are flies, sadly. Though some of them may be lady-flies!”

        1. JBO

          +1

        2. Badeyes

          +1.fly

        3. MM

          Okay, I’m at least half-convinced that you are the Doctor. No mere mortal could channel Faz that effectively and not dissolve into a puddle of slime.

      2. Gamma Ray

        And you’d never get the smell out of your clothes.

    2. Reepicheep-chan

      With Faz it is like he *wants* to be a creepy douche, but he is too incompetent at it to be truly threatening.

  37. Sensedog

    Hopefully Blaine is the most “asshole” parent out of the group. I am hoping that this is the case simply because we haven’t really met the Walkerton parents yet.

    1. Yotomoe

      The Walkerton’s run into the school and start throwing Tomahawks at the entire student population. They then draw kick a toddler and drink blood out of a cat skull.

      1. JBO

        Naw they were just involved in a genocide in the past. Oh, sorry wron universe. OR IS IT????

      2. Hoboturtle

        We said the “most ass hole”, as thick as the competition is, all that would leave them is athis place ribbon at best.

        1. Hoboturtle

          A third place ribbon *fixed* Damn

  38. Geminia999

    Also, was Amber’s dad this “evil” in the original universe? I mean, all we really got was his corpse and the beating/cheating, but that doesn’t necessarily equate to being malicious.

    1. AgentKeen

      There was a flashback arc, and it was pretty much like this, except maybe more mellow and a little less manic seeming.

    2. Luzahn

      We also got the working with the Mafia. That is not a minor part of it.

    3. toddtr

      Beating your child and your wife, getting into trouble with the Korean Mafia, and fathering children all around the country and never taking responsibility for them isn’t malicious?

      Hell if anything DoA Blaine is slightly better since he’s actually paying for Amber’s schooling and he’s actually raising Faz

      1. Tunaro

        Yes, because God knows Shortpacked Faz wasn’t already completely fucked up without Blaine’s “parenting.”

        1. toddtr

          Faz’s one redeeming and humanizing trait was the fact that he never got to meet his father and he always wanted to

      2. Geminia999

        While I don’t want to defend his actions, this character seems to be enjoying being such an asshole and purposefully doing this. While the Walkyverse sounds like he doesn’t go around and making babies and not supporting because he enjoys making people suffer. And last I checked, most abusers don’t necessarily enjoy abusing and some don’t even recognize it.

        Now know I’m not defending the actions, just this dude seems way to happy being an ass.

      3. Tak

        He’s only doing it because of a court order, though.

    4. JustDucky

      Did you seriously just post that beating your child does not equate to being malicious? W. T. F.

      1. Geminia999

        Okay, using the wrong word here >_> Sorry

        I meant that it doesn’t necessarily means he enjoys beating, unlike this version who seems happy to be an asshole

        1. JustDucky

          Oh no, of course abusers don’t enjoy being abusive. Their wives and children FORCE them into it. Because their wives and children just refuse to learn. That’s how it works, right?

          Your posts are making me sick to my stomach.

        2. Geminia999

          I meant they don’t enjoy being evil dick heads in abusing people.

          I’m just going to leave before I make a bigger fool of myself. So sorry. Please delete this whole thing.

          Really sorry

        3. begbert2

          Okay, I know I’m going to regret stepping into this…

          Some people who are jerks are just jerks – but they are not happy jerks. They are not beating on their families for shits and giggles, they are beating on them because they are broken little small-minded rage-filled assholes who feel crushed by the world and see no handier outlet upon which to vent their shit than those people who are close to them and yet not making things better. Yes, there might -might- be some catharsis in beating on the poor people, but just as likely, not even that. Just ragey pointless hitting.

          The word “malicious” may still apply, in a sort of dimwitted rage-monster way, but ‘enjoy’, in a lot of cases, not so much.

        4. JustDucky

          In operant conditioning, spouse or child abuse would be referred to as a self-reinforcing behavior. If the small-minded rage-filled asshole in question started beating his child for the first time and he didn’t get anything rewarding out of it, he wouldn’t do it again. Because why would he? Behaviors that are unpleasant or even completely neutral are much easier to quit than behaviors that are their own reward.

          As an aside, this is also why the behavior escalates: it is being reinforced every single time the abuser engages in it. In other words, not only does the abuser enjoy the behavior, the abuser enjoys it so much he wants to do more of it.

        5. NightRaven

          JustDucky: “If the small-minded rage-filled asshole in question started beating his child for the first time and he didn’t get anything rewarding out of it, he wouldn’t do it again. Because why would he? ”

          This is Exactly my point! “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results.” (Not Albert Einstein, prob. Rita Mae Brown)
          The same question can be put to many addicts, most addicts have long ago lost the ability to take pleasure in their choice of drug/behavior, but that doesn’t stop them from “just another glass, just one more fix” in a desperate attempt to experience that joy again. And when the joy fails to materialize, they still want to experience further intoxication.
          It’s somehow connected to cognitive dissonance I think, where the LACK of positive affirmation actually leads to repetitions of the behaviour. In contrast with a normal mindset, where a negative response leads the person to consider a different approach, here it leads the person to try the same approach until the desired result is reached. Since this is highly unlikely to occur, the negative actions continue indefinitely.
          Thinking that only “Evil” people are capable of becoming abusers is neither productive nor sensible, it is just that the “Evil” ones are so much better at it. I thought of an example (it might not be a good one, I just thought of it, but hey, worth a try): Let’s say that two persons are trapped in a room somwhere, they are both hooked up to an infernal machine that gives them constant pain. Now, they are given a button each and told that the first person to push it will stop receiving pain and freed, however the other person would remain and receive the pain from the free person in addition to the original pain. Eventually, depending on their psychological/physical threshold, one of them would probably end up pushing their button. It’s a selfish action, one that causes alot of pain, but I really doubt the person that pushed the button got a good feeling from knowing the others fate, it’s more likely that the free person would feel relief and joy from escaping but still feel like shit and be wrecked with guilt for the person left behind.
          The person setting up the experiment/torture/revenge(??) on the other hand, probably DID feel joy at every torturous moment.
          Can you see what I’m getting at ? It’s the difference between a bastard and a psychopath, between Biff Tannen and Hannibal Lector, they are both choosing wrong actions for selfish reasons, but while one gets joy from it the other doesn’t.

        6. NightRaven

          “Oh no, of course abusers don’t enjoy being abusive. Their wives and children FORCE them into it. Because their wives and children just refuse to learn. That’s how it works, right?”

          Apart from putting the blame on the wife&kids, yeah, that IS very often how it works!
          Most abusers and bastards actually hate themselves even more than the people they abuse, they hate that they lose control over their anger, they hate that their problems cause people that they care about pain, they hate that they feel powerless to stop it. Very rarely do they take any pleasure in being abusive, it takes a special kind of bastard to do bad things just to hurt someone. What still makes them bastards instead of “victims” (even though, they ARE actually mentally ill), is that they are too cowardly to remove themselves from the persons they abuse, too afraid to lose the people that they (even if it doesn’t seem like it in anyway) care about to admit that they have a crushingly debilitating disease that they have to take care of before they can even BEGIN to think about being around other people. Too often their cowardice leads to emotional numbness, and they become trapped in a spiral of fear-anger-loss of power where abuse isn’t even an action to consider but just something that happens independently of themselves. Thus enabling them to relieve themselves of the constant blame, but ultimately sealing them into an established pattern, where abuse is the “safest” go-to reaction for anything remotely vexing.
          In contrast, a truly EVIL bastard would be constantly plotting how to maximize the suffering they can inflict upon others, unable to feel emotional attachments but able to make them with others in order to accomplish their own needs or even just to use the pain they can inflict to empower themselves.
          *puh*, sorry that was longwinded, but it’s kind of a personal subject for me and I felt like expressing it.

        7. JustDucky

          NightRaven – Read the post I made right above yours.

          What you just posted is the things abusers say. But what they say and what they do are incompatible. The behavior doesn’t lie or rationalize or equivocate. The abuser most certainly does.

        8. NightRaven

          “What you just posted is the things abusers say. But what they say and what they do are incompatible. The behavior doesn’t lie or rationalize or equivocate. The abuser most certainly does.”

          No, what the abusers Say is often more along the lines of “they put me up to it” “they provoked me” “they KNOW how I feel/get”, e.g. putting the blame on the victim. Rarely do they acknowledge that they only did what they did because they were to cowardly to admit they don’t have any control over themselves and therefore failed to take appropriate measures to avoid the abusive situation.
          It’s important to understand that the abuser lies and rationalizes to him/herself First, and to their victims Second. I see no good in demonizing them, thereby making their actions unavoidable and therefore (in a way) ratificationable (or something, not a native speaker).
          It can be difficult at times to understand how anyone can cause so much hurt, over and over and over, without actually wanting to, but that’s the cruel tragedy here. There are no victors in abuse, only victIMS.
          The only solution is either to lock up all abusers for life (because this behaviour won’t just go away by itself), or to try to cure them (and in order to cure, we have to understand) of the behaviour. And since we rarely use the first option, I think it’s important to focus on the second since that is the one most likely to prevent further abuse.

        9. Squall

          Nightraven: I’m not sure where to post this, but I read your comments. I don’t think everyone knows that there is a difference between being an abuser, and being a sadist. They are not the same thing. It’s more like a Venn Diagram. In certain places they overlap. But when an abuser abuses his family, and the people he loves, he needs a reason. He beats his kids because he thinks that will fix something. He beats his wife because he is stressed out about everything in his life and she just burnt the chicken. He keeps beating his kids because he thinks “maybe if I beat them enough, they’ll learn”. He beats his wife because he needs to release stress, or because he thinks she needs motivation to NOT BURN THE GODDAMN CHICKEN. And if the kids won’t learn, he’ll still be thinking “this time. Maybe this time it’ll work.” If his wife burns the chicken again, maybe he beats her, maybe he doesn’t, if he’s Had a bad day again, he’ll probably beat her; if he had a great day, maybe he’ll laugh it off; or maybe, just maybe, that burnt chicken has become a trigger that causes intense rage to well up in his mind, so he beats her and beats her every time. Maybe the dog took a shit on the carpet, so he kicks the dog. The cat might get up on the table and eat his dinner, so he throws it across the room. The common element for all of these things is that he had a reason. It might not be a good reason. Say, if the color purple annoys him and his wife wore a purple dress that day. In his eyes, there is a reason for beating the ones he loves.
          But for a sadist: a sadist needs no reason. They get home, read the paper, walk the dog, beat the kids, grab a beer, and sit down to watch some tv. It doesn’t even need to be a daily ritual. It’s not a habit, it’s a hobby. They ENJOY giving other living things pain. They look forward to it. They might be at the office thinking of new ways to torture the wife. They think of abuse, the same way I think of playing tennis, reading a book, filling in a tough sudoku puzzle. Thinking about how the other people feel excites them. Some sadists are content causing other people minor inconveniences. Or major inconveniences. They may seem like harmless pranks, but what they feel when they pull it off is a lot more horrifying than you could imagine. If they tie your shoelaces together, and you fall over, it might seem like comedy, but they aren’t laughing the same way as the others who saw it happen; they aren’t thinking “hahaha, that was a good joke”, they feel a perverse arousal at having wrested control from you, if only for a moment. Sadists can be truly horrifying. And what’s more horrifying is that some can hide it so well.
          The abusers also keep their predilection a secret, but that’s often out of shame and embarrassment. They don’t like to admit that their families aren’t perfect- that they need to keep their kids in line. It isn’t the abuse that embarrasses them, it’s the weakness they see in themselves. Because admitting that they need to abuse their families, is admitting that they are weak. They aren’t in control.
          I’m not sure yet if I’ve got my point across, but I feel this is a good time to stop.
          Next time you hear someone telling you about why an abuser isn’t evil, remember that they aren’t defending the actions of the abuser. An abuser isn’t necessarily evil. You, sir (or madam), are thinking of a sadist.
          Welp, that’s my two cents. I hope you can understand it. If you can’t, please don’t yell at me needlessly.

        10. Squall

          Also, I totally forgot to clarify that I’m not disagreeing with NightRaven

        11. Geminia999

          I’m pretty sure that was what I was trying to say, I guess thank you for wording it better.

        12. JustDucky

          Okay boys, time to pay the piper. Back it all up with science. I’ll wait.

          Operant conditioning is widely accepted science fact. It explains the repetition of the behavior. It explains the escalation of the behavior. And it explains why the behavior is so difficult to change. But it makes you two uncomfortable so, what? There must be a different explanation?

          Then offer it and back it up with something concrete.

          I know it doesn’t feel good to think that the people who act this way do it because in that moment it provides positive reinforcement for them. But that’s the reality of the situation. And people lying to themselves about it doesn’t help anyone.

          And just an aside, that drug addict example is operant conditioning at play, too. The feeling from the drugs serves as positive reinforcement and it takes place shortly after taking the drugs. As such, it creates a stronger connection than all of the negative punishment that comes later. (Drugs of course also form a physical addiction. Beating children does not. So there are more factors at play in addiction than in child beating. But that’s another debate entirely.)

    5. David Willis

      …

      1. Geminia999

        Wrong word 🙁

        I feel bad now

    6. Geminia999

      I’m so sorry.

      Please understand that I was just trying to say that I don’t think that Walkyverse version seemed to enjoy being an evil asshole unlike this version. Sorry for the confusion, sorry for possibly offending anyone, and sorry for the misinterpretation that I was somewhat defending these horrible actions. I am very sorry and just feel horrible for this.

      Sorry

      1. The Candyman

        Feeling like Joyce yet?

      2. Squall

        Don’t worry Geminia, I understood you.

      3. Jackson

        Yeah, I see what you’re saying. Shortpacked!Blaine was more the manipulative, friendly-to-your-face kind of evil. Dumbing!Blaine is a maniacal laugh short of being a pantomime villain.

      4. Darth Cariss

        I just imagine you are making the face from your avatar while you’re apologizing, and it makes everything better.

      5. Gargamel

        I imagine Blaine isn’t being evil in his mind.

        I wouldn’t be surprised if he likes to think of himself as more of a teacher/sensei. There is no place for heroism in this world, only control and strength. This world is a cruel and terrible place full of cruel and terrible people and chances are you’ve all done something wrong, etc…

        Typical non-government trained and certified Supervillain logic.

      6. Jen

        I didn’t get what you meant at first Geminia999, but your clarifications did help! 🙂

        I think what you’re saying is that in DoA-verse, he takes a certain maniacal glee and actually revels in his horribleness, where in Walkyverse, he may have enjoyed it, but it was more of a bitter, unhappy, non-smiling enjoyment?

    7. Somebody

      Physical abuse IS malicious.

  39. -_-

    Faz and his dad should get to a vist from amazigirls fists.

  40. specter177

    Well, now we see why Ethan’s mom was a distant second in the “Worst Parent” contest.

    1. Yotomoe

      I dunno. So far all Blaine has done is pose dramatically. So far Ethan’s parents have been way meaner to her than he has.

      1. thecanvashat

        Posing dramatically is a viable parental strategy.

        Neglect and abuse are not.

        1. Yotomoe

          I don’t know the extent of his neglect or abuse in this world. I mean he could just be an asshole. Lots of dads are assholes.

  41. Clodia

    Can we go back to Ethan’s parents now? Or Joyce’s? Even them meeting, that has to be less painful than this.

  42. Mkvenner

    Again, I hope he dies in a fire.

  43. AY

    Willis why would you do this omg
    I HAVE SO MUCH RESIDUAL HATE FROM SHORTPACKED! AND I
    I JUST
    CAN’T HANDLE STRIPS WITH THIS PRICK.

    1. Regalli

      I know. Like, it’s true, he hasn’t done anything more than be a general dick thus far (that we know of, anyway), but knowing what he was in Shortpacked! just makes you want to set him on fire now.

      1. sidhe3141

        Like he set the body pillow on fire?

        Or is that the wrong prick?

        1. Regalli

          Wrong prick. I’m actually… okay-ish with Faz, so long as he stays away from me. His utter creepitude is actually kind of endearing.

          But Blaine needs to be beaten up and killed.

  44. nothri

    No one indeed.

    GOD. DAMMIT. WILLIS.

  45. emeraldbeacon

    Y’know who I *really* want to see deck Blaine?

    Galasso.

    1. Jerry

      You know who I *really* wanted to see deck Blaine? Anyone. But after that I’ll accept nobody else.

      1. thecanvashat

        Every character in DoA, and a DoA version of Kenny from Shortpacked.

        http://www.shortpacked.com/2005/comic/book-2-pulls-the-drama-tag/05-faztivus/clarence/

        1. thecanvashat

          AT THE SAME TIME.

      2. nothri

        Aww, come on! Doesn’t anyone else get in on the fun? Can’t we all just form a line or take a number? It isn’t fair if everyone doesn’t have a turn!

        1. thecanvashat

          OK, here’s the plan. We put someone around every corner, so that whenever he comes around, WHAM! SUCKER PUNCH!

        2. nothri

          I dunno, man. I don’t like the guy and all, but I wouldn’t wish that movie on anyone.

        3. Aizat

          Why punch’em when we could give him the Mick Foley treatment? Barbed Wire Baseball Bats for everyone!

        4. Kernanator

          Let’s put the kick in Kickstarter.

    2. Tomb

      He Will Not Be Getting Coupons or Free Refills!!!!!

      But he will get a knuckle sandwich.

    3. Aizat

      Why punch when you can chuck Blaine out the airlock?

    4. Tenn

      “Y’know who I *really* want to see deck Blaine?”

      Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White, Monty Python and the Holy Grail‘s Black Knight, Benito Mussolini and the Blue Meanie, Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie, Robocop, Terminator, Captain Kirk, Darth Vader, Lo Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger, Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock and Hulk Hogan.

      1. Aizat

        I want to see everybody deck Blaine! Even Blaine!

        1. The Candyman

          You get to deck Blaine! And you get to deck Blaine! Everybody gets to deck Blaine!

  46. Tunaro

    I want to punch them. I want to punch both of them in the face. Why can’t I punch them in the face?!

  47. Megatron

    You are a monster Willis.

    1. thecanvashat

      Monster Willis?

      1. Tomb

        Sounds like something cooked up in a lab of evil…of a pizza name.

        1. thecanvashat

          That is the best possible gravatar for that comment and I would have it no other way.

        2. andmangrewproud

          Not pizza. “Try the new Taco Bell™ MONSTER WILLIS©. With 8 layers of beefy goodness.”

        3. Megatron

          Your fleshiling languages are irrational and confusing! I do not bother to spell the name of the cartoonist correctly!

        4. Megatron

          And I do not bother with simple reading comprehension!

  48. Archivist

    Savor the unsavory emotional manipulation…yick.

  49. DR_GONZO

    @geminia999

    ‘fraid so. If you read the Bob Hare Checklist and look back at his behavior(seen and mentioned) Amber’s dad seems to be a full blown psychopath.

  50. Tristan B.

    Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh! Kill Faz!!!! Now!!!!!!

  51. Gottawonder

    Amber’s dad is not ‘just’ a bitter asshole. He is every bit as nasty as his posing makes us think he is.
    Consider: Amber married Mike and thought she was getting a good deal. [actually they both turned out to be good for each other].

  52. JebJeb

    I see Blaine getting his ass stomped in an alley. Witnesses describe a woman in a yellow costume fleeing the scene.

  53. Gottawonder

    Looking at the strip again, Dina’s parent’s are still on the scene, I have a feeling about that. Wonder if they are as harmless as they appear to be?

    1. Yotomoe

      They know martial arts. DINO STYLE.

      1. Drunken Nordmann

        And now I’m imagining them dancing – thank you very much.

  54. nothri

    As for Amber’s dad, I think I preferred him in Shortpacked.

    He was less talkative in that strip.

    He was also dead.

    On the whole a much more appealing character.

    1. JustDucky

      +1

    2. aqua

      +1

  55. xain

    Amber: yes dad you have a point. Speaking of court order what happened to the one where you arn’t allowed within 50 feet of me and mom? Hold that thought I have a call I need to make.

    1. nothri

      Don’t think that exists in this universe.

  56. Dierna

    *twitches from the hate rage…*

  57. Bunivasal

    Funny hoe one line bisecting a circle can make me hate somebody with sunlike intensity.

    1. Kernanator

      ?????? Line bisecting a circle????? I’m not seeing it.

      1. xKiv

        Panel 2, left eye?

  58. Tomb

    Only one answer:

    DEATH RAY!!!!

    1. AliaPie

      Galasso Death Ray. Yes.

    2. Aizat

      No, GP-02’s Nuke Bazooka.

      1. Squall

        Nuclear Rifle! With a range of 3 miles! Which leaves you well within the fallout radius!

      2. Starscreamer

        But it can only be fired once and then damages the unit’s arm when it fires! We want something we can reuse over and over again. Mass nukings!

  59. GoogerGeiger

    Move aside Joyce’s parents, there’s a new hated parent in town!

    1. FlyingFish

      Can we lock them in the same room together? Preferably one with lead shielding.

  60. AliaPie

    I want them to go away.

  61. Potatamoto

    So, the court *forced* him to pay for at least part of Amber’s education, and he’s trying to play that up like it gives him some kind of power?

    Why is he really here? As pathetic as coming here to try and bully his daughter is, I think the real answer may be even more pathetic. But either way, I’m really hoping Amber’s feeling strong enough to stand up to him. The cheated rage of her alternate-universe counterpart demands it!

    1. Jen

      “The cheated rage of her alternate-universe counterpart demands it!”

      Yes, this.

      (well said, Potatamoto!)

  62. Aroooo

    I’m wondering how Amber ended up so reasonably well-adjusted with such a family (and step-family).

    1. MM

      Amazi-Girl = Stephanie Brown. It’s the only explanation.

      1. NoOneOfConsequence

        so Blaine = The Cluemaster?

    2. timemonkey

      Her parents split up much earlier than they did in the other universe.

  63. The Candyman

    And Dina’s parents are just standing in the background, wondering what time would be appropriate to interrupt Blaine’s evil monologue.

  64. DT

    Mike. Face. Punch. Now.

    1. Baroncognito

      “I must go, a face somewhere needs my fist. And a mom somewhere has a nickle”

  65. SmileyOgre

    Uggghhh make him go away he’s almost as bad as his Shortpacked version!… The Dad. Faz being awful is a universal constant, but I guess Amber’s dad being a bully and a miserable prick ranges from physically abusive to “just a mean bully”. Not that that’s any better. Ugh, Dina’s parents, prove to be awesome and do something! :S

  66. Thanks, I'll Have Another!

    OK, Shortpacked people: is AmberDad this bad in that universe, too?

    1. The Candyman

      He’s even worse. Dude was physically and emotionally abusive towards his wife and child, and had ties to the Korean mafia, which gave him the opportunity to father all kinds of bastard children. He’s wanted by the police, and has tried to take Amber a few times.

      He’s not as maniacal in Shortpacked!, though.

      1. CaptMuffin

        Less Snow White evil queen, more Season 5 Walter White.

    2. Regalli

      Ohhh, yes. Him leaving in this universe was better than anything we ever saw him do in the old one.

  67. Somebody

    I think they’ve already won second place in the “most terrible family members” contest.

  68. JoeMerl

    The weird thing is that Dina and Faz have about equally strange social skills, just taken in two very different directions. XD

    1. Drunken Nordmann

      So if they had a child, it would have perfect social skills?

      1. AJBulldis

        Their child would be banned from museums for acting on his or her dinosaur fetish.

        1. Drunken Nordmann

          I dont’t think they would even realize that that he/she was there – for their spawn would be a Dinja.

        2. Yotomoe

          I may have to draw a Dina/Faz child tonight. YOU BROUGHT THIS ON YOURSELVES.

        3. rachel

          🙁 🙁 🙁 it’s ok guys I take all the blame

          ok fine you found me out, I just love your art yotomoe, deal with THAT

  69. Jackson

    I TAKE BACK MY VOTE FOR AMBER LET’S SEE MORE OF THE BROWNS

  70. Tom Speelman

    NO NO NO FAZ YOU STAY THE HECK AWAY FROM DINA!

    1. Spencer the Tepig

      Thank goodness I’m not the only one.

      1. Spencer the Tepig

        Have a box of tomahawks.

    2. aqua

      ship had best not leave the harbor. hmm whats the best way of making holes underwater . . .

  71. Hoboturtle

    So far I actually like this Blaine, he’s more cartoony than Shortpacked Blaine. Sp Blaine was more subtle and realistically scary. Here’s he’s straight up a villain. He might end up like Fez. A jerkass but far too incompetent to do any damage.

    1. CRtwenty

      SP Blaine has one advantage over DoA Blaine. SP Blaine is dead.

  72. Kale

    …Is it a bad sign I read Amber’s Dad’s dialogue with my Dad’s voice?

    1. Kernanator

      Probably.

  73. DR_GONZO

    For anyone interested, I think this link will explain Amber’s Dad a lot.

    http://psychopathyawareness.wordpress.com/2011/10/03/the-list-of-psychopathy-symptoms/

  74. blackaeon

    I just hope Joe’s Dad marries Amber’s Mom and makes everything right with his sexy powers.

    I also pray daily for the return of Eerie, Indiana and Mountain Berry Punch Kool-Aid.

    Such is my sorrow.

    1. David

      Actually, I was more thinking about Joe’s Dad marrying Amber’s Dad in terms of making everything right. I am just afraid that this would exceed creepical mass.

      1. MM

        I am now very afraid of what will happen if Joe’s dad meets Faz.

        1. Yotomoe

          “I shall teach you my skills Faz, we will make a lady killer out of you yet”
          “Faz does not wish to kill the ladies. He desires only to insert himself into them”

        2. Aizat

          “Kid, I’m a sleaze ball and even I think you’re a creep.”

  75. Zuzi

    These guys are a class act…

  76. Bitstream

    Oh my GOSH. We were always told that Amber’s dad was awful in SP!, and even saw it, but I never really felt the horror. But this version is making me want to hide under the bed with a knife and a shotgun, just in case he finds me. o_O

    1. Tenn

      One possible explanation: whenever Blaine showed up to harrass Amber (or whatever he was trying to do), Ethan was there to protect her, and didn’t flinch. That might’ve made Blaine seem less scary. Also, he seemed to rely a lot on the fear he had already instilled in Amber. His attempts at intimidating Ethan were pretty uninspired.

  77. vsophi

    Everyone’s talking about how DoA Blaine is/seems better than SP! Blaine, but keep in mind we’ve only seen him in two strips thus far. He’s probably about to get a whole lot worse.

    1. Yotomoe

      I feel more people are talking about how terrible he is even though he HASN’T done much yet…other than word of mouth from Amber and it wasn’t exactly specific to him being worse than a cheater and an unpleasant person.

  78. rachel

    :(:(:( “court order” :(:(:(

    1. rachel

      also omg dina is completely entirely amazingly adorable in panel three, she is unprepared for family drama aaahhhhhh noooooo

  79. Aizat

    Remember when I said that I’m giving Blaine the benefit of doubt? Yeah, I take it back, he’s an ass.

  80. Trapper

    I study in a field thats not exactly the nicest content and i gotta say this is kinda creeping me out

  81. The Pink Ninja

    Gawd, I already hate this fucker.

    Ethan, Mike, anyone, punch his face in.

  82. Josh

    My god, I ship this so hard!

    1. Yotomoe

      Looks like I’m not the only one.

  83. Vince

    It’s like I have exited one vicious hate cloud and have entered another.

  84. Anonymous

    (Echoing various other comments.)

    Second panel: “AHH THE JERK VIBES!”

    Fourth panel: Actually pretty Galasso-style awesome.

    Fifth panel: So wonderful. Incidentally, if the ultimately egocentric Faz and the ultimately passive/submissive Dina somehow get together/marry…the mind boggles with interestingness/horror. It somehow boggles with more interestingness/horror than when Faz paired with his gender-flipped copy.

  85. Locke

    Man, Reed Richards is just the biggest dick sometimes.

  86. Penguin Zero

    You know, I’ve been thinking this for a while now, but it’s coming to the fore right now: I kind of hope Mr. and Mrs. Saruyama are primatologists who are just as fascinated by primates as Dina is by dinosaurs.

    For two reasons. The first is that ‘Saruyama’ means ‘monkey mountain’ in Japanese, and it’s make for an appropriate meaningful name.

    And the second is that I’d kind of like to see them go ape on Faz right about now.

    1. Tenn

      You want them to pick his fleas?

      😛

  87. Ross

    Guys, what if Amber’s father is trying to reconcile with her, in some weird way, and tries to be a real father for her?

    1. Siren

      Knowing Blaine? Not a chance.

    2. Tenn

      Mmmmmmmno.

  88. Spencer the Tepig

    There needs to be some fucking tomahawks in amber’s dad’s head RIGHT BALLSIN’ NOW.

  89. Spencer the Tepig

    No for real. I’m scared…

    I also have a few boxes full of tomahawks, just in case…(≖_≖)

  90. Spencer the Tepig

    “Well, technically, it’s MY room, isn’t it?

    I paid for it. Wort order”

    Mo’ fukka. Do you, or do you not go to college???

    And you KNOW shit’s about to get real when I’m spellin’ words like this…!

    1. Spencer the Tepig

      Court*

    2. Björn

      No, Blaine, I think we need to go through this thing about “ownership”. When a court orders you to give up some of your property, that property *ceases* to be yours. It is from that point what we like to call “someone else’s”.

  91. Gizen

    I think with this strip, you’ve somehow managed to make both Blaine and Faz somehow creepier and more disturbing than either of them were in Shortpacked. And they were both already pretty awful, creepy people.

  92. Jimmy

    The pain…the pain…

  93. Whittier

    So, I don’t know the other continuities–is Faz supposed to be spoof of Fez from “That 70’s Show”?

    1. Jesse

      I doubt it. Faz is way more smug and creepy.

    2. timemonkey

      I believe he’s a spoof of a logo for some place and his name is a play on it.

    3. Tenn

      He got his name (Faz O. Lee) from some kid with a smug smile in an ad for Fazoli’s.

      http://shortpacked.livejournal.com/pics/catalog/1330/155163

      1. Whittier

        Thanks!

  94. Jesse

    I don’t think it counts as his room if the justice system forced him to pay for it. Just a hunch. Please tell me his obnoxious ass gets kicked out very soon.

    1. Yotomoe

      Just because you’re forced to pay for something doesn’t make it any less yours. Because if noone forced you to pay for anything, you probably wouldn’t.

      1. Jesse

        It stopped being his money when the court took it from him.

  95. hoop

    why does her dad sound like stephen colbert

    because he totally does. like in that one law & order where he was a murderer

  96. Zuche

    I’m going to have to see if another computer shows this comic without cutting off the last line in every panel after the first. No one else seems to be having this problem.

    1. tahrey

      Protip: Ctrl+F5
      And/or try another browser.

      Bottom lines in all panels show up just fine for me. Though oddly the last words in a couple of them seem a bit wonky, like they’re hand lettered corrections right at the edge of the tablet vs the rest being set in a handwritten font.

      Though that might be for effect, Dina’s voice getting wobbly etc.

  97. DoomMoose

    If it does turn out that Blaine cheated on Ambers mom I’d like for Joyce to find out and scream “EXTRAMARITAL HANKY PANKY!!!”

    1. tahrey

      If PMHP requires two pointing finger-pistols, just what would the sign language for XMHP be?

      1. John

        I’m going with Mike’s choice of double birds.

  98. tahrey

    And now we just wait for Dina to suddenly go Super Saiyan. Inspired by which, her parents perform a Fusion move, and together with Amazi-Girl (who flies in through the window on a rope, much to Amber’s surprise) and a special cameo by Pizza Girl, they send AmberDad and Doa!Faz flying through the air into the distance, Team Rocket style.

  99. MM

    Sorry, Dina. I think we all called dibs on behind the door. We’ll try to find room, though. Promise.

  100. Charles RB

    I want to hide behind the door _in another building_ because CREEPY

  101. Alyssa

    … He’s going to be the worst, isn’t he?

  102. narmenduke

    Faz…you don’t creep on Dina. That’s just something you don’t do.

    1. FlyingFish

      If the DOAverse is just, he will now say something totally unscientific about dinosaurs. They will never find the body.

      1. Yotomoe

        “Did you know dinosaurs had the largest penises in the animal kingdom, besides Faz of course”

  103. Elle

    I try to save my webcomic reading for night, after I get home from work, but ususally can’t resist checking DoA at work. Oh, boy, do I wish I had waited. Cringing so hard — this sounds like something my dad would say.

  104. Enkai

    Waiting for Dina’s parents to announce that the time for hospitality passed and punch both Faz and Blaine in the face.

    1. Yotomoe

      That may or may not be child abuse.

  105. FlyingFish

    I always wondered who funded that Kickstarter. Turns out it was Faz under 30 separate aliases.

  106. Morgauxo

    I dunno, from that last frame, Faz and Dina might make a cute couple…

    1. KingStarscream

      Perhaps, but it’s still FAZ. He’s basically a tactless, revolting version of Joe, without any of the success of the latter.

      1. Yotomoe

        Yeah but Dina’s like…the opposite and opposites attract (in fiction).

  107. Sterling

    You know… I hope that his presence in this universe means that Amber will have the opportunity to stand up to his horrible, abusive ass that she didn’t have in Shortpacked.

    1. zomgvampires

      I totally agree. I hope Stacy mentions Joe’s dad too (not to Amber, but hey, what can you do?).

  108. Ruck Bogers

    Well, Panel 4 is totally not creepy.

  109. Tomas

    Why is he gloating over paying court ordered child support? Oh God, he’s a men’s rights activist!

    1. mumbly_joe

      You’d be surprised at how common it is for awful creep dads to use court-ordered child support they may or may not actually be paying as emotional blackmail.

      Either that, or Blaine is based directly on my own father, which would also be kinda creepy.

  110. Najaru

    Well Faz is off to his customary fantastic start

  111. Mal

    If I had to choose to ship Faz with someone, it wouldn’t be Dina. I’d probably choose Dorothy. I’d rather see Dorothy try to change Faz than try to change Walky.

    1. The Candyman

      I see Faz creepily obsessing over Dorothy here, simply because he probably isn’t going to do it with Amber.

    2. bunivasal

      If I had to choose to ship Faz with someone, I’d ship him with a ravenous wolverine. Preferably via FedEx, to the moon.

      1. John

        Faz/Taz, OTP?

  112. KKoro

    …willis, have you met my father or something?

    This is like candid camera, or something…

  113. NoOneOfConsequence

    …and in a couple of parallel universes over: Mike has a strange itchy feeling in his knuckles

  114. AckAckAck

    Finally returned from long vacation. Let me see what I miss…..

    Oh….

    Oh no…..

    Well, people hate Danny for his immaturity in relationship. But this…. this guy….. deserve to get the hate with the tip….. of an axe.

  115. PoweredBySucrose

    And technically, no, it’s not your room. Assuming things at IU are anything like the universities I know about, the name on the lease is the name of the student/resident. (Unless the student is not yet 18.) Where the money comes from is irrelevant.

    1. Timeout

      You’re quite correct. It’s not his room. He might even consider the money he paid to be his, but the court’s have decided that that money belongs to his daughter. I am truly grateful this gentleman is fictional. Were he not, my only thought would be that someone this bitter about his divorce should seek therapy and shouldn’t be raising other children until he has done so.

  116. laila

    I think my favorite part of this strip may well be Dina’s father’s single horrified eye.

    1. Najaru

      Her parents should be horrified. They’re the geniuses who decided it was a good idea to let him in, against their daughter’s roommate’s wishes.

  117. mumbly_joe

    Geez, this comic. I know in addition to the autobiographical bits, a bunch of commenters chimed in on the posts earlier that they identify strongly with Joyce. Well for me, it’s always been Amber, and today and yesterday’s comic cement it.

    Especially in this universe, where the divorce (and abuse) seems to have occurred much further in the story’s past, and Amber’s reaction to her father far less Stockholm-esque than in the Walkyverse- it actually reminds me a *lot* of my own dad situation, starting in late high school, when I started to learn some of the particulars of my parents’ divorce (I was far too young to actually remember any of the abuse).

    And, yeah, I’m pretty certain the abuse is still part of the backstory with Blaine. This whole strip, claiming that he’s “owed” a visit because the fact that he’s paying tuition means her dorm room is “his”- is spotlighting his emotional account-keeping: a MAJOR abuser tactic. Even if the body language of both he and Amber weren’t a big enough tell, the way he’s actually behaving? Yep, that’s pretty tell-tale.

    1. Najaru

      He did the exact same thing in the Walkyverse! Guilting Amber into doing his bidding, rather than outright forcing her to.

  118. nothri

    You know Amber, you are probably strong enough to grab Faz by the neck, use him as a melee weapon to beat your father unconscious, and run away to get help. Just saying- two birds, one stone. Or two birds, one bird used as a stone. Whatever.

    1. aqua

      or you could use 1 bird to crush 2 stones

  119. Dave

    Let’s say I’m new to Willis’ work…

    On a strict scale of 1-10, how evil is Amber’s dad? And what was he convicted of to warrant such loathing? (Or will this be explained later in a few comics?)

    Also, same question to Faz. I’m all for a good pitchfork party but I like to know why I’m waving it around.

    1. The Candyman

      10, definitely 10. Dude was physically and emotionally abusive towards his wife and child, cheated on his wife several times (which resulted in a few bastard children he never cared for), made a few deals with the mob, and is wanted by the police. Dieing was the best thing that happened to him.

      Faz is just a creep. He had an ego bigger than he was, went to extraordinary lengths to better his own position and ruin everyone else, and had a weird obsession with making Amber his bride.

    2. someguywithakatana

      If 10’s Mephisto, then he’s 16

      See Also: Joe Quesada.

      1. someguywithakatana

        Wow, I feel like a dork

    3. Mal

      Bear in mind that whatever answers you get to this question may be irrelevant, and counter-productive to enjoyment of DoA. I’m surprised Willis hasn’t cracked down on his rule about “No talking about the other worlds.”

      Basically, the Blaine and Faz in DoA may be quite a bit different than what we’ve seen in other worlds. You may have the best seat in the house if you haven’t been influenced by the other stories already.

      1. The Candyman

        That hasn’t happened with anyone else, though, and absolutely nothing has happened to make me assume Faz and Blaine are any different than they were in Shortpacked!.

      2. Dave

        Let it be the only time I do talk about the other worlds then. Man, I feel like it’s already too much to catch up on the other comics, so I’m prolly gonna stick to this one for a while as I’m still in school myself technically for one more year before I do move on to the Later Years, as they were.

  120. Maycroft

    Faz! you’re not supposed to talk about The Guide.

  121. Djackdau

    Can the Dumbiverse please be the universe where Mike does get to punch Blaine? Like, hard? With rapid-fire comments about Blaine’s mom to the rhythm of the beat?

  122. Brando

    Dammit faz…please don’t be a piece of shit in this universe.

  123. taekwondogirl

    Well Amber’s having a really shitty day.

  124. Axel

    No, sir, if your money is given to someone else – especially if it is wrested from your grip by the legal system – and they buy something with it, you don’t own that thing.

    Then again, he clearly has some unpopular opinions about ownership and possession in general.

    1. TurtlyLooker

      He’s saying it’s his as opposed to Amber’s, not as opposed to the university’s. Because he may be paying for her to go to school.

      And could you provide a basis for the second part of that comment?

  125. wynne

    You’d think she’d have a restraining order.

  126. Hoboturtle

    Faz stop preving over Dina… that’s the commentators’ job!

  127. Lucca

    Yay! Faz!

  128. John Madden

    Woah, creeper radar is goin’ crazy.

  129. Roborat

    Wow, 464 posts so far and I haven’t said anything. I am so proud of my restraint.
    .
    .
    .
    Wait a minute. I just lost, didn’t I?

    1. Portmaneau

      Nope, you’re fine. Everything’s fine.

  130. Kirt Dankmyer

    I don’t believe Dina. In order to be insistent, her parents would have to *talk*.

  131. Portmaneau

    Faz conquers all the females present in this room at the moment.

  132. Michael

    Am i the only one who is expecting for Faz to one day just stop speaking in the third person, open his eyes, and become a civilized, popular guy?

  133. newllend

    Is he some kind of rip off of fez from that seventies show

  134. Uratnik

    Am… Am I the only one getting a “Phil Hartman” vibe from this guy?

  135. Sailor_Arashi

    Every time I see this strip, I can’t help but giggle at Blaine’s pose. Raise dat roof!

  136. Xakthul

    Sooooo… the abusive dad raised a wannabe pick up artist?

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