163

Parking lot
Posted on August 3, 2017 by David M Willis

163 thoughts on “Parking lot”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    “you could always just take Sal’s coat NOW”

    “WHAT but that takes FORESIGHT”

  2. Doctor_Who

    Is the implication that he already has a suitable wig?

    1. Emperor Daniel

      According to the alt-text, Walky needs seaweed for that.

    2. inqntrol

      One made out of seaweed maybe?

    3. V

      Well of course he’s got the wig. What’s the point in having a twin if you can’t fake being them time to time?

      1. Roborat

        Wow, one would think that could make a good plot for a movie.

        1. Ferret

          Perhaps these twins could go back to their divorced parents with the intention of getting them back together. Or something idk.

  3. Travestyhat

    Hijinks!

    1. Needfuldoer

      They will ensue!

      1. Roborat

        Wrong comic

  4. Achallenger

    I underestimated walk for the last time, the boy is brilliant!

    1. Achallenger

      Dense, butt brilliant

      1. Some1

        I feel like Walky likes to act dumber than he is.

        1. Paradox

          I don’t think it’s an act so much as he only really applies himself when there’s instant gratification at stake.

          All that potential but it’s surrounded by butt-taco.

      2. DrWattson

        The impression that I get is that he’s not as dense as he acts; he’s just immature and doesn’t seem to like exerting effort.

        1. Mr D

          That was actually the case back in the Walkyverse.

          That and a crippling fear of responsability.
          Responsability and Ties.

      3. NelC

        Dense butt? Brilliant!

      4. @zombieundergrnd

        He has a dense butt?
        is that from eating too many glazed donuts?

    2. Reltzik

      If you’re like most readers, then it wasn’t the last time.

  5. Derek

    what’s the seaweed thing in reference to?

    1. Achallenger

      I would answer it’s walk, not being a duck, but I sure would sound like a duck

      1. Nezumi

        I… what? Duck?

    2. Shiro

      I think it’s an It’s Walky! reference.

    3. boop

      in It’s Walky, he once used seaweed as a makeshift wig

  6. Shiro

    Walky…Walky, no. No on several levels.

    1. Reltzik

      Indeed.

      Go for the MAPLE donuts.

      1. Joyous ☿

        Yesssssssssssss

      2. Deanatay

        Maple with BACON!! Yaaas

  7. FLUFFYWOLF

    Why do I feel like Walky’s done this before? And why do I feel like it’d actually work?

    1. Cephalo the Pod

      “I’ve never felt so emasculated in all my life, and I’ve been mistaken for my twin sister”.

      From Book 3, discussing the shoes he borrowed from Danny.

    2. Shawn Levasseur

      And how will Walky rate on the “Do” list?…

  8. Cattleprod

    Wait, that’s a thing that has happened and Billie was on board with helping him do it?

    1. Cholma

      He means NOW. He wants to impersonate his sister so he can get a free donut.

      1. Cattleprod

        … ugh. The problems that occur when the comic updates at midnight, that’s a perfectly logical sequence of events that a fully awake person could follow without issue.

  9. Some1

    Walks is too much like me, I would totally disguise myself as a girl to steal donuts.

  10. William Leonard Reese Jr.

    . . . . How often does Walky dress up as his sister if this was the first excuse he could think of instead of saying “I’ll miss having you live nearby.”?

    1. Pat

      As she points out, she’ll be nearby anyway.

    2. Needfuldoer

      That’s probably what he’s actually thinking, but Walky will avoid deep emotional talk and fall back on silliness whenever possible.

      Billie and Walky know each other well enough that I bet the deeper message sneaks through anyway.

  11. Stephen Bierce

    *plays “Don’t Quit While You’re Ahead” on the hacked Muzak*

  12. Passchendaele

    real conversation sucessfully averted. on a side note, unless sal’s already got a donut, walky could probably fake the accent and appearance easily enough. still, if danny’s still there, he can easily through walky’s disguise, since he knows both of them well enough and totally didn’t think they were twins until he saw them together. we might see the return of the duke of thingley. :p

    1. QueerBitch

      honestly I doubt he’d even have to fake an accent. Just walk up all cool and take one and walk away. Sal may well do that.

      1. zoelogical

        and he’s not gonna say no if she takes a second one.

        “it’s for a friend,” sal says, and turns away. she looks in the mirror. it’s walky

  13. Solenoid

    Damn you, Walky! Ruining a good opening-up moment and I can’t even stay mad because it was still funny. 😀

  14. JessWitt

    Guess Walky’s going to break into a sushi restaurant for the seaweed.

    1. Some1

      Walky spends a bunch of money on seaweed and comes up with a complex plan..only to realize he could have just bought a donut

      1. Sev

        But that wouldn’t have been free.

        1. Woobie

          And therefore wouldn’t have tasted as good.
          Bought<Free<Snagged from friend/ family

        2. Reltzik

          This is why every time we go out to eat, Mom is always encouraging me to order dessert and/or fries.

        3. N0083rp00F

          Always always order more than you know you will eat because that one person with you who protests that they don’t want anything will snag at least half if not all of it….. Always.

      2. ValdVin

        Wait….Acme sells Rocket-Powered Roller Skates, etc, and also seaweed?

        I mean, if you’ve got an overly-complex plan, they are the supplier.you want.

        1. Roborat

          Just make sure there are no road runners involved.

  15. Keulan

    Walky has the best priorities.

    1. Reltzik

      …. as in he’ll finagle his sister’s roommate to steal his sister’s stuff to dress up as her in order to obtain a glazed donut under false pretenses….

      …. rather than pay a dollar out of his probably-substantial allowance to get one for a tenth of the effort.

      1. Keulan

        Yep, why pay for a donut when you can come up with wacky hijinks to try (and probably fail, since Joe knows Walky) to get one for free?

  16. Alan Hardman

    That is the most Walky-y thing.

    1. JessWitt

      *Walky-ish

      1. Needfuldoer

        Walkyesque.

    2. Remmington Steele

      Walk a la mode

  17. DailyBrad

    Walky is an unusual beast. Sometimes, he has had some bizarre notions of masculinity, like when Joe rightfully pointed out he was being ridiculous with his idea men should only have one pair of shoes, versus women owning many. There’s also the pajama jeans incident.

    Other times, when motivated by food, all bets are off, though he’s also grown some since those past incidents.

  18. Roger Sterling

    The voices in Walky’s head are beatboxing barbershop together.

  19. Miguel

    Well at least Billie is still pretty

  20. mschmidt62

    I would have been tempted to entitle this strip “Glazed,” but maybe DMW has some rule against using the last word in the strip as a title. Or maybe there is already a strip entitled “Glazed?”

    1. JessWitt

      I’m just glazed, er I mean glad he’s open to using two-word titles now.

      1. mschmidt62

        Actually, I just did some research (aka procrastination) and found a strip in which he used the last word as the title:

        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-7/03-the-thing-i-was-before/ravine/

    2. BBCC

      It’s not a last word thing so much as a ‘don’t spoil the punchline for people who view the strip by clicking through twitter’ thing.

  21. Puckish Rogue

    So near yet so far away

  22. John

    You can always hit up Joyce to let you in through the half-bath, Walky.

    1. Emperor Daniel

      Joyce and Walky, getting along? What madness is this?

      1. Reltzik

        Joyce: “Why should I help you?”

        Walky: “Because this way you get to play ‘Pretend Sal Dressup’.”

        Joyce: “OoooOOOooooooh!”

  23. Fart Captor

    HUG YOUR DAMN SISTER, WALKY >:[

    1. StClair

      This.

    2. Reltzik

      Either get her permission or at least warn her and give her an opportunity to forestall it and then hug your damn sister, Walky.

    3. BBCC

      ….Wait, Billie or Sal?

      Never mind. Hug them both.

  24. StClair

    Whew, that was close. He almost admitted to actual feels.

    1. Remmington Steele

      NO NEVER!

  25. Dana

    Walky just needs to trick Joe into harassing him. It probably isn’t hard.

    1. Some1

      Walky walks up to Joe

      Walky: Hey Joe

      Joe: yes?

      Walky: would you say you like my butt?

      Joe: no.

      Walky: dammit

      Danny: Walky! Stop distracting Joe by talking about your nice sexy butt! Wait..shit.

      Walky: Woohoo!

    2. Reltzik

      Which is why Walky would have to resort to trickery. (And he shouldn’t! Bad in anything other than silly-goofbal hypotheticals!)

      …..

      …. erm, I mean, Phrasing!

  26. A Scientist

    Walky’s only concerned Joe’s running out of glazed because Joe already ran out of maple frosted, obviously.

  27. Moose

    Seems like a waste of effort to do all that just for a glazed. I’d go for jelly or at least chocolate.

  28. BenRG

    This is one of the occasions when context would be a wonderful thing. Why does Walky want to dress up as Sal. I can think of various reasons, all with different implications for him and his personality.

    Of course, what matters here is that Walky will miss having Billie around. That is something that she needs to hear: That there is someone other than Ruth who values her presence and wants her around. I do think that Billie forgets that she has a surrogate brother and sister in the dorms.

    1. DrWattson

      He literally says why he wants to dress up as Sal in the comic, he just wants one of Joe’s doughnuts.

      1. Emperor Daniel

        “Walky wants Joe’s doughnuts”, coming soon to a Slipshine near you.

        (may not actually be coming soon)

        (heh heh . . . “coming”)

    2. Emperor Daniel

      He said in the strip himself he wants to trick Joe into giving him a free donut.

      Because free donuts.

    3. Greebs

      … he wants to dress up as Sal because Joe is giving out donuts, but only to women. Dressing up as his twin sister is the shortest path to appearing female, and getting a free donut. Seemed pretty clear to me…

      1. BenRG

        Clearly I have a difficulty with translating Walky’s thinking patterns.

    4. Cerberus

      Ironically, some of his actions would actually make sense if he ended up being in egg mode. I don’t think that’ll end up being the case, but if Walky did turn out to be a trans egg, she would definitely not be the first trans woman to go through a scrub phase of a last desperate attempt to awkwardly perform cis masculinity.

      1. BenRG

        I did find myself thinking along the same lines here.

        Given Willis’s fixed rule that alignments in the Walkyverse and Dumbingverse are basically the same, I find it unlikely that something like this will be sprung on us. However, we know that Walky seems generally mildly bi (having no problem with the thought of engaging in homosexual acts if it gets him something). It might just be me but I can’t help wonder how often he dresses up as Sal and for what reasons.

        My theory right now? As twins, I can see him and Sal having shared clothes a lot as young children (infancy to around 5 years) and this basically becoming an ingrained subconscious impulse that’s been hard to shake later on.

      2. nightsbridge

        I agree with you! But, I’mma be watching this kid very closely . . .

    5. DavidMcG

      Wanting to wear your sister’s clothes sounds like such a natural thing to me that it didn’t even occur to me he might be doing it for donuts.

  29. Danni

    walky attempts a serious and swerves into being a jackass

    the norm for walky

  30. Yotomoe

    http://imgur.com/a/VAFMy

    When you can pull off the look…

  31. Cerberus

    Comic Reactions:

    Panels 1-2: I feel like this arc gets a lot into how the performance men are asked to provide for toxic masculinity, as being above girly feelings, of never showing vulnerability less you be attacked for it, of never showing worry or care or fear less you be called a wuss or gay.

    How all of that heavily negatively impacts the ability to genuinely show caring and support and positive emotions. We saw it with Joe where he was sabotaging his interactions with women and with Danny to avoid confronting his own fear of vulnerability and dealing with the unknowns of interacting with women as equals.

    And we see it a little bit here with Walky. Like, we’ve seen it before, with him not really knowing how to handle his strong feelings for Dorothy, or his need at occasions to put on a front about his being a manly enough man and so on. And we see it in the awkward way he deals with strong emotions and concerns, trying to bury how worried he is and how much he cares*.

    *Which is made extra difficult with Billie in particular because Billie has discouraged more overt shows of concern in the past and reacted strongly negatively to them.

    And here, this moment is a really positive one for Walky. He’s posing cool guy style, but he’s genuinely concerned, he’s bringing up what he’s concerned about and he’s showing Billie that someone deeply cares about her.

    Panels 3-4: And that gets through. Stating that he cares, being open and honest about that, really gets through to Billie and that’s important to him because he’s still terrified he’s going to lose her. He knows about how close she’s been to suicide in the past and the rough headspaces she’s been in lately and he’s terrified of losing a person he considers a sister.

    And this moment when he can show that is real and true and powerful.

    1. Emperor Daniel

      Have I ever said before how I really love your reactions/analyses? Because I really do. 🙂

      1. Cerberus

        Aw, thanks.

    2. Deanatay

      Toxic masculinity in his motivations, maybe, but he IS cross-dressing in order to acquire that donut, so maybe that mitigates it a little?

      1. thejeff

        It’s interesting to compare and contrast Walky and Joe on their toxic masculinity. Early on we saw a lot about Walky and his ideas of being a man – “only one pair of shoes”, for example, while Joe seemed to disparage all those superficial signs.
        But we see Walky being willing to joke about crossdressing or having homosexual sex for food while Joe lies about having threesomes to prop up his own image.

        They both certainly have problems with it, but they show it in very different ways.

  32. Cerberus

    Panel 5: And the flip of that is that guys of that age are put through intense pressure not to admit that vulnerability, to not show genuine concern. That makes you soft, that makes you a target. That makes you “not male” by the toxic masculinity standards and that makes you a punchline to that mindset. See the number of times Danny’s been the butt of Joe’s jokes because he’s more willing to be emotionally vulnerable and real.

    And the reason for that fear is real. I got literally pummeled a lot growing up because I could never perform toxic masculinity and I didn’t want to. I got made into an example and learned never to show my emotions just to survive it. To bury my hurt inside.

    And for Walky there’s that pressure and also his need to undercut intense realness with goofiness and jokes, to wear the mask of the clown to avoid showing how genuinely terrified he is.

    So he undercuts the weight of his gesture to a degree in the end. Out of that pressure.

    That all said, I think the substance of his message has been received loud and clear and there’s reason for him to believe that a genuinely open conversation about the extent of feelings on this situation would be unwelcome on both sides.

    But that important bit, that Billie has someone who deeply cares about where she is and that she’s ok, that he wants her alive and well and will do things that are hard for him to show it?

    I think that came through loud and clear.

    OT life update: So fiancee and I actually were able to get a face-to-face meeting and it went really well. Turns out it was a really bad tone in texting problem where they thought I was being sarcastic about a condition they were dealing with when I was trying to show genuine support and things kinda just hit triggers and blew out of control. Well that and Southern Belle was right, they were in a state of mind where they were pushing everyone away (including friends) and recognized that and apologized for letting it make everything worse.

    But we were able to talk it out and clarify what we meant and figure out better ways of resolving situations like this in the future and we’re 100% back together. No break up, just a long open and honest conversation.

    So I’m on cloud nine, thank you everyone who helped keep me functional when I thought I had fucked everything up and encouraged me to hold on hope. You all and my therapist were invaluable and I want you all to know that.

    1. David M Willis

      that is good glad to hear, very good

      I hope this good news is real and not some kind of norovirus hallucination projected to me on the bsthroom floor here

      1. Cerberus

        😀

      2. Neeks

        If this excellent news is an illness-based hallucination, then we’ve all got a LOT of “get well soon” cards to send.

        Congrats on things working out rather positively, Cerb.

    2. Delicious Taffy

      Having been in exactly that situation before, I’m happy for you. Glad to know you’re feeling better.

    3. Michael Chandra

      Good to hear. 🙂 But even if things had gone wrong, keep in mind it doesn’t mean anything about you, you’re still great. Remember, all that stuff lies to you.

    4. Reltzik

      Reason #392 not to break up with someone over electronic media.

      It’s awesome to hear that you not only resolved this crisis, but you deliberately sat down and worked out “how to not let this happen again” plans. That’s… rare.

      1. Cerberus

        That tends to be my instincts in these situations. I thank my analytical alter for that one.

    5. Arian

      Yay! 🙂

    6. StClair

      Glad to hear it!

      Also, I saw this and thought of you. Maybe it will be helpful (to you and others) in other situations?
      https://twitter.com/PigeonComics/status/892785915365601280

    7. ischemgeek

      I am so happy for you! 🙂

    8. Arioch

      I am so happy for you. *hug*

    9. Fart Captor

      <3

    10. Vulcanodon

      Donut for you! So glad to see you feeling better.

    11. Murgatroyd

      Yay! So happy for you.

    12. Spencer

      That’s wonderful to hear!

    13. K the Nerd

      *All the happy hugs offered*

    14. butting

      The smile you’ve just put on my face is downright embarrassing! I’m stupidly happy to hear this, it’s wonderful news and well done the both of you.

    15. Nenja

      That’s so great to hear! 😀

    16. Southern Belle

      *all the hugs* I am so overjoyed to hear it. <3

    17. Bagge

      High five!

    18. Li

      Omg SO MANY hugs and also relief <3

    19. Sam

      That is great to hear, really glad it was just lashing out and a misunderstanding and that you’ve worked on how to avoid it again. :3

    20. BBCC

      NICE! I’m glad that all worked out. I’m happy you’re okay and the two of you have made your plans <3

      But echoing Michael above – even if it hadn't, it wouldn't make you worth any less or what your brain tells you true.

    21. OBBWG

      Much happiness sent your way. Yay!

    22. nightsbridge

      I’m so happy things turned out okay

    23. Halpful

      Yaaaay!! Yay talking! 🙂 🙂

    24. Roborat

      Glad to hear that you were able to straighten things out.

    25. Jhon

      Yay! for open and honest conversation!

  33. Neeks

    “thanks walky, I almost thought you cared.”
    “I do care. Deeply! About donuts.”

  34. Reltzik

    I’m questioning how much of this is about Walky generally caring for Billie but trying to hide it.

    ….

    …. well, okay, he DOES genuinely care about her, and he DOES try to hide it.

    But in my headspace, he’s already buried all that pretty deep down and it’s not bubbling to the surface here. HERE he’s just being the smartass goofball going for the joke from the start of Panel 1 (which coincidentally relates to what he feels deep down, but isn’t actually influenced by it), rather than making a recovery/coverup in the last panel.

    …. in short, I’m thinking he’s a lot more convolutedly messed up than it seems.

  35. C.T Phipps

    I really did think until the last panel Walky was talking about dressing up as Sal for Jason. I’m totally of the mind they’re having an affair now. Walky being bi is almost a non-revelation and would help make the scales a little more balanced for both genders.

    1. Spencer

      He’s bi so of course he’s cheating on his girlfriend. Right.

      1. Meamoi

        It’s impossible for bi people to cheat on their spouses, when they do what would normally be called cheating, since when they do so they switch teams, it falls more into the category of “fan-service”.

        1. Fart Captor

          The “sexual preferences as baseball teams” metaphor is kinda problematic here. The implication being that the only teams are “heterosexual” and ; homosexual”, so bisexuals have to “pick a side” rather than having a team of their own.

          It’s not a good metaphor. Bisexuality is it’s own thing. There’s no switching involved. The prospective dating pool just includes more people.

        2. thejeff

          Except for all the ones who won’t date you because you’re bi, which actually seems to make the dating pool smaller. 🙂

        3. Spencer

          You aren’t funny.

        4. nightsbridge

          …You are being incredibly offensive right now.

        5. C.T Phipps

          This may surprise you but the idea of Walky cheating on his girlfriend isn’t linked to his being bisexual. It would be an act I would condemn but, ultimately, I wouldn’t judge too harshly because Dorothy stated they were in a “funsies” relationship anyway. They’re not married and it happens in real life all the time.

          I could totally see a passionate moment happening between Walky and Jason because of their shared hate turning into something more.

        6. thejeff

          Shippers gotta ship.

          It ain’t happening in canon though. Sorry.

          And whatever the initial statement, Dorothy and Walky have moved past a “funsies” relationship.

        7. Southern Belle

          Yeah, already called out above, but sexual preference =/= lack of monogamy.

          There are some relationships that make allowances for playing with same genders. This does not mean that dallying outside of the relationship isn’t cheating if it’s with the same gender. It means it’s not cheating IF YOU HAVE PERMISSION. It’s more a flavor of open-relationship thing than a bi-thing.

          As with everything in sex, it comes down to consent. If your partner does not consent to you doing something with another partner, it is cheating.

        8. Southern Belle

          This is a response to Meamoi, not C.T., btw. In case it wasn’t clear.

        9. dethtoll

          do what’s this now?

        10. Delicious Taffy

          I’m going to assume this is poorly-executed sarcasm, because otherwise I’d have to get a little bit miffed.

        11. C.T Phipps

          I’m entirely okay with Walky being revealed as bi. As for cheating on Dorothy, yeah, basically I think it needs to happen. Not specifically those to but it’s a COLLEGE story and it wouldn’t be realistic if someone didn’t.

          Walkerton and Dot are due for some drama and a nasty breakup.

        12. thejeff

          Maybe, but there’s no reason to think it’s with Jason.

          And it’s not really unrealistic to think a few couples can make it through a semester of college without cheating.
          Since we’ve really only got a few serious couples, it’s not required. I think both Walky & Dorothy have enough problems on their plate right now that they don’t need relationship drama to stay interesting.

  36. Nope

    I want to see this scenario play out. Walky isn’t nearly cool enough to pull off sal’s looks.

    1. BenRG

      I don’t think that he so much wants to imitate Sal as he wants to use her clothes to look more feminine and try to pass himself off as a short-haired girl and get a free donut.

      “N… Name? My name’s Walk… er… Walkinata! I’m from… somewhere exotic that you’ve never heard of.”

      1. Liliet

        He’s trying to pass as one of the girls on Joe’s list. Pretty sure pretending to be someone Joe’d never met would defeat the point

        1. Jhon

          Um, does Joe remember all the girls he’s hit on? Or thought about hitting on?

  37. chris73

    I’m not sure why Walky needs to go to this big a deal for a donut, I mean isn’t his family well off so I’m guessing its not like he can’t just go buy some donuts if he really wants some

    1. BenRG

      To quote C Montgomery Burns: “You are never so rich as to be above begging for another free dollar.”

    2. thejeff

      Because Free Donuts!

    3. butting

      … you remember the pizza, right?

  38. Bagge

    Translated from Walky speak: “I worry about you and I’m sad you are moving. Are you going to be OK?”

    1. Spencer

      If you have to try that hard to show you care about someone isn’t that a problem in of itself?

      1. thejeff

        Well, yeah, but we knew that.

    2. ValdVin

      Oh, yep. Walky and Billie “share” separate lexicons, yet communicate perfectly.

      The reverse is shown several places. http://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-7/03-the-thing-i-was-before/fuckoff/

    3. Deanatay

      And I believe ‘Ugh’ translates to “Yes, but I’ll miss you. *sniff* *sniff*”

      1. thejeff

        Along with a bit of “Thank you for letting me know and thank you for making it into a joke so I don’t have to acknowledge it.”

        It’s a very efficient language in some ways.

  39. TomHCinMI

    At least Walky has his priorities straight!

  40. buddleia

    I know it’s very much not the main point of this strip, but this is what stands out to me today. And I’m sure it’s not conscious or malicious, but I can’t help seeing an ugly sense of entitlement in Walky’s words here.

    He wants a donut. He doesn’t care that they are for a group of which he is not a part; he doesn’t care that they are an apology to that group; he doesn’t care that him having one will deprive someone who is in that group from having one. He simply knows that there are donuts which are “free” and therefore he feels that it is fair for him to get one too. Why shouldn’t he get one just because he isn’t a girl? That’s sexism against him!

    And he feels entitled to his sister’s clothes. To going behind her back and taking and using her things. Even though he gets more money, more gifts, more favors, and more favoritism from their parents. If she has stuff that he wants, according to him it’s not a big deal for him to just grab it and use it, even if by doing so he’s going to put her at a disadvantage.

    He just doesn’t get it.

  41. firestk

    I can’t tell if he’s joking or not. It would be in character either way.

  42. @zombieundergrnd

    We always knew Walky wasn’t that bright and he has proven it out once again.
    All that trouble over glazed donuts? Glazed? I bet he likes just vanilla ice cream in a cup too.

  43. Cathy Garrett

    Do I want to know what else Walky pretends while wearing his twin sister’s clothing?

    No. No, I do not.

  44. Orion Fury

    Ah yes, the Duke needing to crossdress to accept a donut. I appreciate the self set challenge of doing so in time to get a glazed one. Granted, I’m partial to Boston Cream, but who am I to judge.

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