279

Eternal battle
Posted on January 8, 2020 by David M Willis
December's second Dumbing of Age Patreon bonus strip is here, and it completes our Patreon-exclusive trilogy of Mike and Carla's prank war!  All Patrons can go check it out now, plus any of the dozens of previous bonus strips! Also low-key, obligatory reminder placed here that if you pledge extra, every day you can see tomorrow's strip now-ish.

279 thoughts on “Eternal battle”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    cue the evergreen cry of “DAMN YOU WILLIS”

    1. Dr. T

      Man, he is trolling us hard this time.

    2. Deathjavu

      As a Patron, I am here today primarily to feast on these cries.

      I can see why Willis subsists on these, they’re so bad but soooo good.

      (I’m talking elitist but really it just shifts which day you Damn Willis on)

      1. Emperor Norton II

        And considering how often one needs to Damn Willis on consecutive days, you’re still mostly crying out with us; just for a different reason.

        1. Deathjavu

          Are we crying today? ARE WE? Pay $5 and find out!

          (answer: maybe)

        2. vitalProximity

          Okay so if y’all look at the Twitter post with a screenshot of the Patreon comments… I’m not sure if it’s better to upgrade today or not. D:

        3. vitalProximity

          Oh wait those are tweets, nvm. Clearly I don’t use Twitter

      2. RowenMorland

        But this makes perfect (and satisfying) sense as a story move.

    3. Diner Kinetic

      Honestly I un-ironically love this, I think he’s happy and that makes me happy (and also other people’s pain has a similar result so this is a solid win-win)

    4. Lingo

      DAMN YOU WILLIS, you magnificent bastard, I read your book!

      (It’s called “Up Here We Can Be Garbage”, and I recommend it. 5 stars!)

      1. AbacusWizard

    5. saltchocolate

      I came here to say exactly that. There is nothing else to say.

    6. Needfuldoer

      Joyce sums my first thought up pretty well here.

      1. vitalProximity

        That’s… utterly perfect.

    7. PB

      Complete with foaming at the mouth.

  2. CC

    And now we play the “how much does she remember?” game :/

  3. BBCC

    Oh, right, Amber and AG aren’t sharing memories.

    Well, shit.

    1. Doctor_Who

      They still share a Netflix account, though, so there’s hope of reconciliation.

      1. Emperor Norton II

        Speaking of, Netflix just announced they are giving a platform to Gwyneth Paltrow and her dangerous vagina “treatments”.

        1. BBCC

          Good god…

        2. Doom Shepherd

          One of the two reasons I have cancelled my subscription.

        3. MutantSentry

          @Doom Shepherd …is the other the cancellation of MST3k?

        4. Wizard

          Okay, now one of the Tweets I just read makes slightly more sense. Although honestly, I was just as happy with my ignorance on this particular subject.

        5. BBCC

          I envy your ignorance on that subject.

        6. thejeff

          I don’t want to know, do I?

        7. ValdVin

          “Huh. Who’s been searching ‘parachute didn’t open’ on my Netflix account?”

        8. BBCC

          No. No you do not.

    2. DarkoNeko

      thanksfully (?) the news would be on her phone.

    3. vitalProximity

      Wait, are Amber/AG able to control when they switch between alters?

      1. BBCC

        No, not to my understanding. They may have been able to when they had more communication going between them but not right now.

        1. vitalProximity

          Okay that’s a little reassuring actually because I have a hard time picturing ANY resolution of the previous strip that results in AG being like “Welp, alright, time to go home, get in my PJs, plug my phone in and go to bed!!!”

        2. BBCC

          I mean, even AG has to sleep at some point, though how well she feels depends on what happened.

        3. vitalProximity

          Yeah but I imagine the meat vehicle would look a lot more tear stained in some situations than in others…

        4. BBCC

          It may have last night, but in my experience that tends to clear up after a few hours of sleep.

        5. SeasideSun

          As someone with some personal experience in similar stuff, there may be another alter who is a go between that essentially takes over to make the body go to bed. Like I dunno if that’s something Willis wrote in, but in my experience that can happen.

        6. thejeff

          If I understand how they usually switch these days, that’s probably what happened. Normally, Amazi-Girl takes over after Amber goes to bed, gets up and goes and does her stuff, then presumably goes to bed, letting Amber wake up the next day none the wiser – except for the bruises and exhaustion.

        7. Hugo Bedward

          So is there eventually gonna be a point where Amber and Amazi-Girl talk to each other through the mask?

        8. TlalocW

          Ooh, and one of them should be like properly-speaking Smeagol and the other one “tricksy, nasty evil dadses” Gollum.

        9. MutantSentry

          Personally I’m looking forward to the inevitable riff on the traditional Spider-Man fighting Peter Parker scenes. https://submarinechannel.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/ASM258_cover.jpg

        10. King Daniel

          We already had that moment here, back in 2017.

        11. Hugo Bedward

          Well now the personalities are gonna be even more fractured, like Joyce and Anti-Joyce

    4. BBCC

      https://twitter.com/damnyouwillis/status/1214782851670929408?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Eembeddedtimeline%7Ctwterm%5Eprofile%3Adamnyouwillis%7Ctwcon%5Etimelinechrome&ref_url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dumbingofage.com%2F2020%2Fcomic%2Fbook-10%2F02-to-remind-you-of-my-love%2Feternalbattle%2F

      Mother. Fucker.

      1. vitalProximity

        Ugh, I KNOW

        1. BBCC

          As a writer, I respect this. As a reader, I am both laughing and making angry hissing noises.

          Willis is a life ruiner, pass it on.

        2. vitalProximity

          It’s true, but there’s some kind of compulsion curse on the comic. Everytime I try to reach out for help to outsiders, all that will come out of mouth is “You should read this webcomic, it’s amazing!”

        3. BBCC

          Hence the pass it on. 😛

  4. Schpoonman

    The worst part about all this is that, since Amber and AG no longer share memories, we can’t even guess at how this morning’s brawl ended based on Amber’s behavior.

    1. Schpoonman

      Wow, BBCC, really?

      1. Emperor Norton II

        You’re truly glaring at BBCC Joyce-style right now, aren’t you?

        1. BBCC

          I’ll cheerfully accept that because the mental image is so damn funny.

    2. Rikunda

      Actually we can! Amber woke up with no obvious facial bruises in her dorm room (or so it looks like now…). By that logic we can conclude she didn’t lose the fight… What happened to Mike or dad or Toedad tho…

      1. Doctor_Who

        Yeah, she’d probably be way messed up if she lost. Though she’s probably at least used to waking up with a few bruises.

      2. vitalProximity

        She also didn’t wake up with a pillow soggy with tears, dried salt on her face, or in a place other than her bed (i.e., a hospital bedside, the bushes outside a bar, the top of Blaine’s car, a jail cell, a mental health facility…….. etc.).

  5. J

    _was it all a dream_
    _**was it seriously all a dream???**_
    _**WHAT IS THIS**_

    1. J

      oh wait. this is amber

      1. a/snow/mous/e

        THIS. IS. AMBER!!!!

  6. King Daniel

    “Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?”

    1. Doctor_Who

      Gandalf scratches a symbol on her door that resembles the Bat Signal.

      1. King Daniel

        That night, thirteen bats show up at the entrance to her dorm room.

    2. Keulen

      “All of them at once, I suppose.”

  7. Critias

    How very dare you.

  8. Rikunda

    It was all a dream? Everything is fine? Please?

    1. nlips

      Nope. Amber doesn’t remember anything Amazigirl does anymore. She thinks she has retired from the superhero business.

      1. Ron again

        She is aware amazigirl does stuff at night, she just stopped being the one controlling it.. There was a comic where Amber woke up to bruises on her fists and twitter posts about AG.

        1. Needfuldoer

          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-8/02-this-is-the-way-that-we-love/without-2/

          I wonder if she ever put the cool lights on the suit stand.

  9. DailyBrad

    A new day is often an event in DoA, but now, more than most times.

    1. King Daniel

      It’s not a new day, it’s just sunrise – unless explicitly stated in-comic, each chapter is one day, starting at midnight.

      1. BigDogLittleCat

        I did not know that. That’s helpful information.

        1. Regalli

          I think that line was formalized back during the political rally with Ryan’s reappearance – it was the last storyline of the book and said book was already running overlength, so the scene was broken up between the Sal fight and the Ryan one, I think. We haven’t seen it crossover at midnight that often since.

          In hindsight, that should have been our warning right then and there.

  10. Johan

    Normally it’s whatever but this time, from the very bottom of my heart, fuck you.

  11. JohnnyO

    DAMN YOU WILLIS you are a cliffhanger GENIUS

    What’s the patreon bonus level to just read the whole backlog
    I don’t know if can take the suspense.

    1. Tricia

      Yeah, but then you just reach the cliffhanger at the end of the backlog.

    2. BBCC

      $5 a month.

      1. vitalProximity

        No dude, the WHOLE backlog. Not just a day ahead

        1. BBCC

          Well, it’s $5 for one strip, and it’s 73 days until the end of the buffer, so roughly $365.

    3. Regalli

      Well, if the buffer’s currently up to March 20, and it’s $5 for tomorrow’s… 71 days times 5 would be 355, plus the torment of knowing it’s not usually a 1:1 strip a day addition to the buffer once you’re caught up, which I’m going to say is equivalent to a single Homestuck plushie, said comic being a posterchild of regular-irregular updates in its heyday. ($15 seems to be the average there.)

      So. $370! That’s my estimate.

      1. Regalli

        Monthly, obviously. You lose access to the three-months-from-now backup if you drop tiers and then you’re just waiting slightly ahead of the rest of us in anguish.

  12. Charles Phipps

    And they never referenced Blaine, Toedad, or Mike again.

    1. Doctor_Who

      With the way time goes in these comics, it could genuinely be a while. Best settle in.

  13. Zag

    NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!

    *pulls up in a DeLorean*

    Get in losers we’re going back in time.

    1. woobie

      You’re not fitting many losers in that car.

      1. vitalProximity

        Ummm… Undetectable Extension Spell, Ford Anglia style? Wait, wrong universe…

        1. vitalProximity

          UNLESS DOC BROWN’S DELOREAN WAS JUST AN ELABORATE DEVICE TO HIDE AN ILLICIT TIME TURNER

        2. Deathjavu

          Disguising a time travel device as another time travel device is a really bad disguise.

        3. Aprion

          or maybe its genius.

        4. vitalProximity

          Exactly! Anyway, statute of secrecy?? Maybe Doc Brown is a rogue squib or something…

        5. Meagan

          “Flux capacitor” does sound like something a wizard trying to pretend to understand Muggle technology would come up with, a la Arthur Weasley.

          Wait a minute…is Doc Arthur Weasley as a time lord? The car…it all makes sense. Well, maybe the timeline and his age (and accent) don’t make sense, but this is TIME TRAVEL so that doesn’t matter. Quick, someone write a crossover.

        6. Jhon

          I will definitely disguise my time travel device as a different time travel device that Everybody Knows Cannot Work.

        7. AbacusWizard

          “Undetectable Extension Spell, Ford Anglia style”

          I once ran a role-playing game in which a secret society of sorceresses had an entire sorority house hidden inside a pink Cadillac using a modified Bag Of Holding enchantment.

        8. vitalProximity

          That… Is fantastic.

          Thank you for existing.

        9. Hoodiecrow

          Good one. Needs to be a tv show 🙂

        10. King Daniel

          Sorceress Sorority Society, coming out on 02/22/2022.

        11. Jon S.

          Then there was the Gay Deceiver, a duo (a car certified for ground or flight) in Heinlein’s “The Number of the Beast–“. She’d been outfitted with the prototype of the Burroughs-Carter Continua Device, which allowed travel between universes, then while in Oz she was outfitted with a large pair of bathrooms accessible through a crawlspace behind the back seat. The bathrooms stayed after she left Oz, and remained accessible at all times. At one point, it became necessary to use the bathrooms to transport more people across worldlines than the car could hold.

        12. Roborat

          Hmm, strange, I thought I had read all Heinlein’s stuff, but I don’t remember that one, will have to do some research tonight.

        13. thejeff

          It’s incredibly self-indulgent, but fun to read. Mostly an excuse to bring a bunch his characters together along with some other fictional creations – like Oz.

      2. Doom Shepherd

        It’s bigger on the inside of the trunk.

      3. FacelessDeviant

        Now if we were CLOWNS, it’d be another story.

    2. Needfuldoer

      No, forward so we can see what happens.

      (Pull over for a pit stop once we hit November, the Americans among us have something important to do.)

  14. PHNX

    I can relate, but, for me it’s peeing.

  15. Regalli

    Why do I suspect nothing good can come of checking that phone?

    1. BBCC

      What’s the worst that can happen? 🙂

      1. Huehuetotl

        “Soggies may rule”

        1. Reltzik

          … that is not, in fact, the worst that can happen.

          … I mean, yes, I get that it was metaphor for a flood of white supremacy backlash in the face of diversity and it’s utterly awful, but that still has to rank somewhere below, say, the more extreme interpretations of Christianity being true and 99.9% of humanity being condemned to eternal, unparalleled torture.

          …. that is what it was a metaphor for, right?

    2. Reltzik

      Because it’s a phone. Since when has anything good come from checking a phone?

  16. JohnnyO

    Also I sympathize with Amber except for me it’s my bladder that always forces me out of bed in the morning.

    1. vitalProximity

      Ughhh, same

      1. Kensou

        It’s the universal condition, one way or another.

    2. Buttery Commissar

      Life’s eternal struggle: Trying to get in and out of bed and attend to the need without waking up too much.

  17. Stephen Bierce

    *plays The Rascals’ “It’s a Beautiful Morning” on Amber’s clock radio*

  18. Alanari

    I’m not sure what I expected but I didn’t expect this..
    So, amber survived and she’s not hurt too bad (otherwise, she’d probably have other problems than getting up). So, ag most likely won the battle. But what about blaine and Mike..

    1. Icalasari

      Blaine – Dead
      Toedad – Dead
      Mike – Has taken on a new identity and moved to Mexico as Mrs. Doubtfire

      1. vitalProximity

        Sold. Where do I subscribe to the spinoff

        1. Regalli

          I want Carla in on these shenanigans as his sitcom archnemesis/wealthy benefactor and facilitator of the escape. I know there’s thousands of miles’ difference (plus language) between Mexico and Brazil,* but it’s close enough and we just got those delightful Patreon strips of the one-sided low-stakes feud and I want more.

          * A slight running gag in Shortpacked was that Ultra Car repeatedly dumped different characters in the Amazon as a prank. Later, when the Zoomer AI cars based off her programming appeared and she confronted Joe (her dad in that universe) about it all, he said he removed that quirk in their programming, to UC’s dismay.

    2. Hugo Bedward

      Mike’s probably in the hospital.
      I’m gonna guess that Blaine and Ross ran off after he fell and Amazi-Girl had to call 911.

    3. Needfuldoer

      My guess is AG rushed down to attend to Mike, Toedad pulled Ross up and they made their getaway while she was distracted. AG and Mike are bound to have been discovered by real authorities sooner than later, if not AG makes an anonymous 911 call and disappears before they arrive. Whether Mike’s still alive or not is still up in the air right now, but either way in this scenario he’s taken to the hospital and ruled a(n attempted) suicide since there’s no other immediately apparent explanation.

      And poor Amber gets to discover all this with the rest of us. Would she suspect AG was there? Could this be the catalyst to getting the alters back on speaking terms? All we can do is stay on Mr. Willis’s Wild Ride until we find out.

      1. Needfuldoer

        I screwed that up; Toedad is Ross. It’s Toedad and the Blaine! Toedad and the Blaine! How’d I get that wrong, it’s only been echoing in the back of my mind since we started this arc!

        1. King Daniel

          Toedad and the Blaine, Toedad and the Blaine; one has a mustache, the other’s insane!

        2. Emperor Norton II

          One has a mustache, they both are insane.

          Fixed that for you.

      2. vitalProximity

        Ooooh, good theory. Will accept as current prediction for now, thank you.

  19. Kim

    GODDAMNIT! 😀

  20. Beef

    willis WHY

    1. vitalProximity

      Because he can

  21. Bagge

    YOU GIVE US SOME ANSWERS THIS INSTANCE, WILLIS!

    1. Deathjavu

      This instance? Wow you are mad.

    2. Bagge

      DID DINA GET LAID OR NOT????

      1. Bagge

        THAT’S OBVIOUSLY THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION RIGHT NOW!

        1. vitalProximity

          If she didn’t, she’ll probably comment on Amber’s statement in the next strip: “… Was that statement directed at me, or are you merely processing out loud?”

        2. Needfuldoer

          Depends entirely on Becky. The flesh was willing but the spirit is conflicted.

      2. Meagan

        Thanks for reminding us of other important plotlines. To think that just a few days -weeks?- ago, I could not imagine anything more intriguing in this story than whether Becky and Dina have sex.

  22. Questionor

    I’m so confused. Is this reality?

    1. King Daniel

      Is this just fantasy?

      1. Regalli

        Caught in a landslide,

      2. Victor Riley

        Caught in a landslide.

        1. Norah

          No escape from reality.

        2. King Daniel

          Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see

        3. vitalProximity

          I’m just a poor boy

        4. King Daniel

          Blaine needs no sympathy

        5. Agemegos

          Because I’m “Easy come; easy go.
          “Litle high; little low”

        6. TheFlamingonator

          Anywhere the wind blows, doesn’t really matter

          to meeeee

          to meeee

        7. TemperaryObsessor

          Mama just killed a dad

        8. King Daniel

          Put a ball-peen ‘gainst his head, swung it ’round an’ now he’s dead

  23. Ghastly

    Insert “That can’t be it. Where’s the rest of it?” Zuko gif here.

  24. bryy

    I understand that Willis can’t see the future, but this is the perfect strip to have for today of all days.

    1. Alanari

      I kind of envy you. For me, it’s one of the worst. I had this “waiting to find out whether a person lives” in real life for a few days, with a bad ending two days ago. I’m pretty sick of worrying.

  25. vitalProximity

    Is that the normal dorm building in the first panel? And Amber’s normal bed/pillow?

  26. Kinoko

    AAAAGGGH! >:V

    Okay, time to be patient, I guess.

    1. Kinoko

      Wait, how far in the future did we skip? Amber’s gotta have some serious bruising on the meat vehicle she and AG share if this is just the morning after. I figure it would hurt more to move were that the case.

      1. vitalProximity

        Should be the same morning, chapter title is the same

      2. StClair

        well, that’s one way to fix/avoid the “if someone died, everyone would be sad forever” issue… just jump ahead.

        welcome to sophomore year, everyone.

        1. vitalProximity

          Oh my God, NO

        2. Hugo Bedward

          Nah Willis stated that the comic will never progress past the first year of college.
          That being said, a small time skip of like a month or so isn’t out of the question. Especially since he made that blog post about winter coming, even though that wouldn’t be until like 5 years from now without a skip.

        3. BBCC

          Nah, too many interlocking plot lines for a skip to be feasible.

          As for winter – that’s just called living in Indiana after October. 😛 I mean, fair, we’re not done October yet but still.

      3. Alanari

        She might be used to that. I mean, it’s not exactly the first time AG got a beating.

  27. Mr D

    ….
    She doesn’t look too bad, so she didn’t get beat up after Mike fell.
    She isn’t in Jail or talking with cops, so she likely didn’t kill Blaine.
    She doesn’t look freaked out either so it is unlikely that this is several days later.

    1. vitalProximity

      Re: cops… Unless she booked our before they showed

    2. Zellgato

      Oh I’m pretty sure she would’ve murdered one or both of the dads shortly after. Most likely the one-as the other neckless dad, while horrible, was already kind of wanting to just leave.. and while she probably was rage monologing at her own dad while he died he’d scadaddled for now.

      So yeah.
      Mike and Amber will be written out, assuming anyone actually died

    3. Icalasari

      Well, I wouldn’t count out Blaine and Toedad being killed. Could be that the cops just assumed the two got themselves killed

      It’s not like it’s THAT farfetched to believe

  28. Piotr W

    Oh, for crying out loud!!!!

    1. vitalProximity

      Good summary.

  29. Mr. Random

    …. Still the most unsettling thing about this strip is the slow descent of Amber… and how she’s literally developed such a split that she’s losing time.

    1. vitalProximity

      Honestly, yes. The whole concept is terrifying to contemplate.

    2. Hazel

      Happened/s to a friend of mine with Dissociative Identity Disorder (“multiple personalities”). Before she knew she had it she would lose blocks of time occasionally and just shrug it off.
      Though she deals with it through therapy and not crime fighting.

  30. Zero

    Goddamn you Willis! You will pay for this!

    *Willis plays Trolololo on the Hacked Muzak*

  31. Synnerman

    AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHH!!!!!

    1. Synnerman

      I mean, *snatched the football away from my kicking foot!* AUUUUUUGH!!

      1. vitalProximity

        …*sad trombone*

        1. Icalasari

          This one?

        2. Roborat

          Nope, Tiny Tina from Borderlands 2 DLC.

  32. NinjaNick

    I didn’t expect this. Guess we’ll never know the fate of Mike. Maybe we will.

    I always have these battles every morning and it’s not really time to wake up.

  33. TrueVCU

    WILLIS YOU CLIFFHANGING MOTHERFU-

    1. King Daniel

      (as opposed to Mike, the cliff-falling mother fucker)

      1. vitalProximity

        Damn. Too soon??

        … Nope. Mike would love it. It is in his honor ❤️

        1. TrueVCU

          Mike would only love it if his corpse landed on and penetrated your mom

        2. King Daniel

          As long as a nickel rolled out of his pocket upon landing.

  34. Emperor Norton II

    Inspired by the title of this comic:

    Open Eyes
    Then put on my, glasses
    Do I feel bowel pressure
    Do I have to go
    Do I stay in bed
    Why can’t I be dre-eaming
    Is this struggle my eternal fight

    What the hell
    Did I just fart loudly
    Something died in my colon
    Judging by that smell
    Now there is no doubt
    Going to the ba-athroom
    For what seems like an eternal poop

  35. Nono

    There aren’t any visible bruises on her knuckles, so I guess she didn’t beat Blaine and Toedad to death in a frenzy.

    1. King Daniel

      Unless she used Blaine’s own hammer.

      1. Ray Radlein

        You always say the nicest things

  36. DarkoNeko

    Mike you stupid, self-detructive motherducker.

  37. miri

    *suspicious stare* Hmmm… Could Amber possibly have an identical twin with whom she shares her AG alter (2 bodies, 3 personalities? Is that a thing?

    I can’t see how we could be this far into a comic without that coming to light before at all, so I’m pretty sure not, but…

    I hope Mike’s OK. If she can look this fine, presumably she won and that means no civilian casualties too, or she parkour-leapt off the staircase and caught Mike somehow and Toedad stood up to Blaine and they made an escape…

    1. Sam

      While it could be possible for one person to develop a protective alter and for a second person to introject that alter (basically see a personality, internalise it, and it becomes an alter), they wouldn’t necessarily be the exact same, as it would be based on their perception of the personality and they would have to be around it a lot to do it accurately. It would still ultimately be 2 bodies, 4 alters though, as they still wouldn’t be the same, one would be imitating/copying an alter to be like that alter, but they wouldn’t actually *be* that alter and they’d still act independently. So no, 2 bodies sharing a third personality is not a thing.

      1. miri

        Thanks, that would make sense. I was thinking of some sort of weird DID-psychic twins hybrid situation, but yeah, makes sense that there would still be two AG iterations with many similarities in that set-up…

  38. Stanistani

    *dances into the Time Warp* *needle scratch* Today?

  39. Zellgato

    So.. Amber broke and AG is a full on alternate personality she doesn’t remember now.
    or this is a time skip to the day Mike gets out of the hospital.
    or it was all a dream.

    I’m assuming the first one. Otherwise Amber would have to be written out of the story effectively (given the probably double murder she committed right after Mike’s fall)

    1. vitalProximity

      AG has already been a full on personality she doesn’t remember :/

      1. thejeff

        And we’ve never had a time skip without it being explicitly noted in the strip.

  40. Jean Cabot

    RIP Mike Warner

    Forever In Our Hearts

    1. vitalProximity

      And Forever In Our Moms

      1. King Daniel

        For $0.05

        press F to pay respects

        1. vitalProximity

          F

        2. Opus the Poet

          F

        3. Clif

          I’m pretty sure this entire page is a tribute to Mike’s essential spirit.

        4. Needfuldoer

          F

          o7

  41. JessWitt

    Aaaaahhh!!! Of all the times for a scene change!

  42. Keulen

    DAMN YOU WILLIS! Now we gotta wait till at least the next strip to find out what happened to Mike and Blaine and Ross.

    1. Clif

      Wow, you are an optimist.

  43. TheTJ

    David Willis you give us plot resolution this instant young man!

  44. StClair

    *slow clap*

  45. Hazel

    MOTHER F-

    1. King Daniel

      That was Mike’s job.

      1. Hazel

        He gave it his best ;__;

      2. thejeff

        That was Mike’s job.

        Now we’ll have to pick up the slack.

    2. Hazel

      Also I really like the colouring/shading in panel two

      But my main comment still still stands!

  46. Sporky

    Not again!!

  47. Sol Karas

    I am angry and yet also not even remotely surprised.
    Amber’s looking pretty good tho so I guess Mike’s fine.

    Oh god was it all just a horrible dream sequence?

    1. Mra

      She’s been having blackouts as Amazigirl after she tried repressing that side of her., she might not remember last night.

  48. Icalasari

    I swear if we don’t find out that Mike is at least alive tomorrow, I may need to quit this comic :u

    1. Icalasari

      Or dead. Or now half car half man half being strangled by Carla for getting to live her dream

      1. Chronos

        …you might want to come back in a few months. We might have the answer to that question by then.

      2. vitalProximity

        … Yeah, Mike’d be into it.

        MIKE WARNER: Half Car Half Man Half Being Strangled By Carla For Getting To Live Her Dream… Coming soon to a Slipshine near you!

        1. Icalasari

          The climatic scene where he faces off against the evil smart car:

          “I fucked your motherboard”

  49. pls

    635+++++++op;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;[]’

    1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      Warning! Cat-like typing detected!

    2. King Daniel

      Let me see if I can decode this:

      6 – the sixth letter of the alphabet is the letter F. Clearly a reference to Mike’s preference for fuckin’ moms.
      3 – the third letter of the alphabet is the letter C. Obviously standing in for the word “coin”, or perhaps “cent”.
      5 – this is a number; combine it with the previously-solved word “coin” and you get 5-coin or 5-cent; a nickel or five-cent piece, in other words, which Mike fucked moms for.

      So that’s “635” decoded, you’re all welcome – “[Mike] fucked moms for a nickel”. What next?

      +++++++ – seven plus symbols. Including the current chapter in this count, seven chapters previously we were introduced to Mike Warner’s childhood in the Book 8 finale, “Of Mike and Men”. This surely has some significance.

      op – “op”, or “OP”, is internet parlance for the “original poster”; in our case, David M. Willis, the author of Dumbing of Age. Now, we already knew of course that he wrote and drew “Of Mike and Men”, so what could calling this out signify?

      ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; – seventeen semi-colons. Now bear with me here, but it is my hypothesis that (when you consider that a major part of the human digestive system is referred to as the “colon”) this series of symbols is a cryptic reference to the evisceration of seventeen people: Mike, Blaine, Ross, Ryan, and thirteen unlucky others who have yet to be identified. Thirteen minus one divided by two is also six, which is the week in which Ryan was eviscerated and kicked this sequence off. Coincidence? I think not!

      [] – two brackets. When set together like they are above, they make the shape of a sarcophagus; this signifies that Mike indeed perished during the night, and is now being measured up for a coffin.

      ‘ – an apostrophe. The word rhymes with “catastrophe”, which describes the entire sequence that was this fateful night.

      So there, that’s the entire post – 635+++++++op;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;[]’ – as posted by user pls in the comments of the Dumbing of Age strip “Eternal Battle” at 1:09 AM on 8 January, 2020. Thank you all for attending, and I accept cash or credit. No checks, though.

      1. vitalProximity

        *whistles* Hey listen, do you do séances? I need to ask someone about a secret nickel stash.

        … Er, asking for a friend.

  50. Slartibeast Button, BIA

    So whose body is propped up at the desk underneath her?

    1. vitalProximity

      …*stops breathing*

  51. TheKelliestKelly

    What patreon tier do I have to be for the next week’s worth of comics?

    1. vitalProximity

      See above

      1. vitalProximity

        Whoops. Here

  52. Doom Shepherd

    **Screams in Lemongrab**

  53. Opus the Poet

    This is as bad as the current arc of GGAR. Not in the same way, because we already know what’s going to happen with Roomie and LT, it’s just moving at what used to be called a glacial pace. Here we know something has happened, when it happened, but not what has happened. Damn You Willis strikes again.

  54. Suet

    In a very collegiate-like fashion,

    WHAT‘S SO GOOD IN THE MORNING?!?!

  55. BenRG

    So, Amber, what do you remember about last night? Nothing? Didn’t think so.

    1. Jhon

      Amber remembers going quietly home to bed.
      This is not a memory that Amazi-Girl would want to share. Even if she could.

  56. 1 2 2 50 in Roman numerals

    I think i speak for us all when i say:!?!?!?!?!??!?!

  57. Loki

    Wake up, wake up, good morning!

    (Also available as an audio version in the author’s notes of the strip after that)

  58. Uly

    Amber and Amazigirl need to start leaving notes for each other.

    1. Vulcanodon

      Yes, like Taki and Mitsuha in Your Name

  59. Bicycle Bill

    Ah, yes, the “Newhart” gambit — it was all a dream!

    1. King Daniel

      Not a dream – we wouldn’t have seen pretty much everything prior to Amazi-Girl’s entrance if it had been.

      (There’s also Willis pointing out on Twitter that this was the Chekhov’s Gun of the whole Amber/AG-not-sharing-memories thing firing.)

  60. Clif

    Willis, Mike would have been so proud of you. Awesome!

    Also, damn you.

    (Shakes Fist)

  61. acher4

    O
    M
    G
    !

    *fists towards the sky*
    WILLIIIIIIIIIS!!!!

    1. King Daniel

      OMW

      (oh my willis)

  62. Lars

    Dumbing of Age Book 10: The Eternal Battle between not wanting to get out of bed and needing to poop.

  63. BenRG

    Prediction: It wasn’t a dream. The fact that Amber doesn’t remember that Amazi-Girl spent an hour last night trying to keep Mike breathing and his heart beating before the paramedics arrived is actually part of the problem.

  64. He Who Abides

    Petition to force Willis to change his legal first and middle names to “Damn You”? Anyone else down for that?

    1. Happilychaotic

      Seconded.

    2. Geneseepaws

      I thought he already did that to embarrass his kid(s)?

  65. GUIGUI

    Oh NO! He didn’t!

  66. Booker

    question is….Blaine and Ross. Are they free? in custody? or is their life gone but scent remains?

    1. BenRG

      I’m guessing that they fled under the cover of Amazi-Girl trying to save Mike’s life and are now in hiding for a few days.

  67. GUIGUI

    Willis made the comment about amber and Amazi-gilr having “separate memories” and I am like “WHAT?!??”

    Up to this point, I thought it was just a smudge too hardcore roleplay embroiled with serious sever mental issues dues to her past abuses. I hadn’t figured out it had got to this point for Amber.

    For what I know, in the real world, there is actually no actual certainty Dissociative identity disorder is an actual real thing, but I don’t know how the rules work in the dumbiverse.

    1. thejeff

      They haven’t been sharing memories since the slashing of Ryan, though they’d been splitting further even before that and might have reached that stage a little sooner.
      Our first solid evidence was Amber waking up with bruised knuckles and finding social media posts about AG doing things she didn’t remember. She later commented to Danny about thinking she’d been doing things at night.
      More recently, Amazi-Girl was surprised to find Amber had been making out with Walky.

      1. GUIGUI

        “They haven’t been sharing memories since the slashing of Ryan” I always thought it was a game of pretend. Like a tabletop player taking way too seriously thein and out-of-charaters moment.

        1. thejeff

          I mean, I guess it was theoretically possible, though the surprise in both cases seemed real. But by that standard it still could be.

          I’m really not sure how much more clear Willis could have made it without a formal diagnosis.

        2. GUIGUI

          It completely flew over my head, but mostly because separate memory is just something I never ever considered. I should read the comments more often.

    2. ProfessorAce

      Yo guigui. Don’t write stuff like that without expecting to hurt people. D.I.D is real and I would appreciate you doing some research before giving your worst take about others’ struggles. It’s really rude and they don’t need it.

      1. GUIGUI

        I have been looking into it, because I have always been interested in the matter, to see how well implemented it is in piece of fiction, especially TV and movies, wanting to know if it really is like that.

        I shouldn’t have said “not real”. I apologise for that, but from what I have seen “inconclusive should have been a better word. there is still a debate on whether or not the patients actually started with DID, or if it was induced by the therapists and that’s one of the main critic of I see of the DID.

        Independently of it, DID is associated with a big Trauma being at the source of it. That trauma is real and I never meant to dismiss it.

        1. King Daniel

          We’ve had multiple commenters here in the past who have shared information about their own, personal, life experiences with DID – Cerberus most prominently among those, as she’s even predicted multiple plot points in the Amber/Amazi-Girl storyline well in advance simply based off of her own DID. It’s definitely real.

        2. Council

          Yeah, how people may Describe it may not be accurate, but so many otherwise unrelated people giving accounts of the same experiences indicates Something is going on, well beyond the trauma.

          There is a difference between arguing whether those experiences are reflective of what Really is happening(since they are arguably not in the right frame of mind to make a judgement like that, nor are trained in the ins and outs of what little we know of how the brain actually works, not before the problem gives them a reason to learn anyway), and arguing that Nothing is happening beyond Those Durn Shrinks and their gaslighting shenanigans.

          This is not a defense of modern psychiatric practices, but more observing its pros and cons. The good doctor is much more likely to reject a contentious, debated diagnosis out of hand than to push it onto the patient. That sort of shoehorning tends to occur with common, “trendy” diagnoses that haven’t fully lost their credibility yet from stretching their definition as broadly as they’ll go.

          An example of that on the opposite end is cycloid psychosis(an actual thing but not very common), the diagnosis for which had been so often misused as a replacement for ‘It’s psychosis but fuck knows what kind’ in some countries that people now scoff at it, to the chagrin of the few poor suckers whose mood does get hit by a random button 3-5 times a day.

          DID meanwhile is pretty embarrassing to seriously consider in a lot of circles, so irrelevant of how real the problem is psychs will rather not use it even if the criteria are met.

          You could go digging for the chicken and the egg here(do psychs decide what the popular ones are, or are they following expectations themselves?), but wherever it starts, DID is not something they’ll gladly put their name behind. They are being discouraged to give it, not encouraged. Those who find it a helpful and accurate diagnosis, and charlatans who would profit from it being seen as that, have an ordeal set out for them.

        3. ProfessorAce

          Council, correct me if I am wrong, but this is what I got from your text:

          Modern psychiatrists are bad.
          Mental illness is trendy
          The reason so many suffer from mental illness is because neurotypical people get diagnosed?
          Chickens and eggs, pros and cons, stretching stuff
          DID is fake, made up by people who want money

          Let me tell you that if I analysed your text correctly I do NOT like you or your values. Honestly, regardless I don’t enjoy the fact that you read a text about people suffering and decided ”hey, I should continue with the plausible deniability thing (even though some people who read this comic have DID and read the comments and will surely feel not so great about people debating whether they are liars/brainwashed/whatever or not) because MAYBE it’s all made up, who knows! ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ”

          Respect mental illness, kids.

        4. Council

          I did not in fact, say any of those things and you need to one up your reading comprehension

        5. Council

          I was largely agreeing with you and expanding on your point. Not going off a weird ramble against the system.

        6. ProfessorAce

          Guigui, I really appreciate your response. I hope I didn’t come off too harsh. And ya, it’s really great to see DID being represented in DoA! I wonder what sources Willis gets his knowledge about it from.

  68. Eve

    Welp. The memory loss thing was already bad but this really needs to be something she goes to a doctor for now.

  69. Geneseepaws

    Ha, I figgered it all out! It’s Walky! No, no, no, it’s Dina!
    Aaaahhh, ah-ha-ahhahahahahahahahHHHHHhahahahahahahahahahhhhhh.
    Dangit Willis!

  70. Rabisch

    I’m afraid of what she might find out once out of her room.

  71. Colineo

    A storyline featuring Amber in a violent confrontation cutting away at a dramatic climactic moment and instead jumping ahead to a moment where she is apparently safe? Is it Tuesday?

    1. thejeff

      To be fair, last time we cut away to other characters 3 days later and it was weeks of real time before we learned for sure Amber wasn’t dead or in jail.

  72. Somsphet

    God dammit willis. I’ve spent 15 years reading your stuff. AND YOU STILL GET ME WITH THIS CLIFF HANGER CRAP EVERY GOD DAMN TIME. WHEN WILL I LEARN???

  73. Bill M.

    Depending upon how attached you are to that set of bedsheets/underwear, Amber, those are not mutually exclusive options.

  74. ziggy78eog

    Transcending history, and the world! A tale of sleep, and poop, eternally retold!

  75. Jufreire

    GOD DAMMIT I CALLED IT LAST STRIP WHY DIDNT I BELIEVE IN MYSELF

  76. SonicBlueRanger

    You can’t do that! What about Mike? …Ok I’ll be patient if I really have.

  77. Sirksome

    I really wanna see Mike rolling around in a wheelchair now and nothing about it is ever explained.

  78. KJ

    Amazigirl you gotta actually talk to Amber oh my god

  79. TemperaryObsessor

    Either A girl survived with minimal damage or this is a time skip. Amber is not in jail. After that I guess I’ll have to wait for tonight.

  80. brasca1

    Not surprising. Last time something traumatic happened we go from the last scene where Amber takes on the rapist to the next day.

    1. King Daniel

      It was a few days later, actually – this, by contrast, is just a few hours later, still the same day.

      1. Daibhid C

        We don’t actually know that yet. Maybe it’s next year.

        1. King Daniel

          Timeskips have always been noted in-comic in a little “narrator’s box” in the corner. We may not know yet what went down during the night after the Mike dropped, but we do know that this is still the same morning.

        2. thejeff

          [grasps straw]Maybe that’s the self-imposed rule he talked about breaking, not the no killing one.

  81. Roborat

    This is so not what I expected for today, you think I would know better, having been reading Sir Willis comics for years (decades?). The whiplash, it hurts.

  82. abysswatcher1993

    WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  83. Ray

    As Amber enters the bathroom, she discovered Mike in the shower wearing a Patrick Duffy mask….

  84. kilgaen

    . . . ah
    . . . then

    well . . .

    DAMN YOU, WILLIS!

  85. Buttery Commissar

    I know everyone’s itching to know what happened, but I gotta say I love the morning lighting in this one. It’s on point.

  86. TomHCinMI

    I feel like I’ve missed something.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

*

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.