197

Belong
Posted on June 13, 2021 by David M Willis

197 thoughts on “Belong”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    “ah’m so FINE ah must levy a fee”

    1. King Daniel

      “ah’m so FINE ah have a +8 to Armor Class an’ +16 to mah Hide Modifier”

      1. Rose by Any Other Name

        Noice.

    2. Tan

      Dumbing of Age Book 11: So Incredibly Fine

    3. ktbear

      I should prolly refrain from putting this here but…hell, this is ME we’re talkin about so here goes. I’m FINE. Fucked up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional.

      1. I am Nothing

        Fuinae?

    4. Yet_One_More_Idiot

      Sal is SO incredibly fine.

      For some reason this page makes me want to ship Sal with Ambermazigirl. xD

    5. Needfuldoer

      EVERYTHING IS FINE
      NOTHING IS THE MATTER

  2. OtterBoy1

    Deep

    1. Clif

      Yeah, but Amazigirl isn’t following. Asher is dangerous and if he’s with anybody it should be with someone who can handle danger. Someone like Sal, but not Sal.

      Sal ships Asher and Amazigirl.

      1. ktbear

        Well damn, right now I’m shipping SAL and Amazigirl. This conversation has been just delightful.

        1. Mordecai

          Sal and Asher ship: broke

          Sal and Amazi-Girl ship: woke

        2. Taellosse

          I dunno – I get the impression that Sal is either too straight or too repressed to go lesbian herself.
          That’s definitely true of Amber, too. Amazigirl is harder to judge.

          Also, I feel like while Sal can be accepting of Amber/Amazigirl’s unique situation as a friend, if they were intimate she’d have a lot less patience for it, and be actively pushing them to integrate.

      2. Chris Phoenix

        I’m suddenly wondering if Willis is shipping Sal and Ruth. I forget if Sal is bi.

        Sal probably doesn’t ship AG and Asher – she probably still doesn’t think much of AG’s way of handling danger.

        1. WanderingLynx

          Sal and Ruth, or did you mean AG?

          Anyway, Word of God (so, Willis) says Sal is straight and that sexual/gender orientations don’t vary from Walkyverse to Dumbiverse, but on the other hand, he also said no major characters would die, so. He’s set the caveat “unless I change my mind” before, and oh boy I wish so hard |’DD GIVE US THIS GIFT RIGHT ON TIME FOR PRIDE, MR. AUTHOR PLEASE

        2. eh, whatever

          he also said no major characters would die

          …and then he said Mike never was a major character. Whatever “major” means.

        3. Demoted Oblivious

          It’s just a promotion past captain.

        4. davidbreslin101

          Looking at my bookshelves right now, and what I can see now is hundreds of stories /with no major characters./ Mind blown.

        5. Jhon

          Sal is so straight she could kiss a girl and everybody would be fine with that. So incredibly fine.

  3. Wagstaff

    *plays “Beautiful Dead” by Masafumi Takada on Voxola PR-76*

    1. Stephen Bierce

      “Where’d you plug that thing in, anyway?” “Tucson.”

      1. Wagstaff

        I don’t get it. Was that from a chili commercial or something?

      2. Wagstaff

        Oh wait, I know this one…

        SAUCE!!!

        1. Stephen Bierce

          STEW.

        2. Wagstaff

          “You really like it?”

  4. Kyrik Michalowski

    Something tells me Sal is not ok with the situation, call it a hunch.

    1. NotThatDrew

      I dunno, she says she’s so incredibly fine

      1. King Daniel

        She’s certainly fine, but that has no bearing on whether or not she’s okay with the situation

        1. Kyrik Michalowski

          ^ This person gets it.

        2. Clif

          Agreed.

        3. milu

          -Ah’m alone, and Ah’m fine!
          -Are you…
          -SO INCREDIBLY FINE.
          -…weird flex but ok

    2. Zaxares

      There are people who are most definitely content and happy being on their own. Sal does not strike me as one of them, no.

  5. Doctor_Who

    Sal’s fine! The finest! She’s so fine she blows Toni Basil’s mind!

    1. Jeff K!

      She’d stay around all night, but that’s a little long.

  6. Thag Simmons

    Yeah, figured it’d be something like that.

  7. King Daniel

    …is Sal jelly?

    1. Sirksome

      Probably, although in fairness to her it is also pretty hard to validate legitimate criticism of somebody if you’re also attracted to them. Conflict of interest as it were.

    2. Reltzik

      Sounds like a solid crushing meets sour grapes, so maybe. Though Carla is a more likely scenario for being jelly, what with being the jammer.

      1. Clif

        So we’re agreed, Sal is more crunchy peanut butter.

        1. King Daniel

          If Joyce is right on Sal’s hair being a river of chocolate, she could be Nutella?

        2. Reltzik

          Nah, it’d need to be more of a hazel(nut) coloration for that.

  8. Nono

    I mean, I can almost respect Sal more for spitenaming Jennifer over jealous vagina than being just plain obtuse about people wanting to change their names.

    1. Leorale

      Same here. A crush can cause a generally-reasonable person to say a foolish thing. It is known.

      1. Rycan

        And Sal tends not to be very reasonable, generally.

    2. Zach

      Billie doesn’t get to change how others think of her. If my brother told me his new name were Chadwick Shplaggend, I would ignore this development.

      Everyone acts like it’s a mis-gendearing or something.

      1. King Daniel

        The difference here is that “Jennifer” is her actual legal first name (”Billie” is a shortening of her surname, Billingsworth).

        Or to slightly paraphrase Joyce from a chapter or two ago when Walky asked her to call him “Mr. Fuckshit” or whatever from then on, “Jennifer” is in good faith, “Chadwick Shplaggend” is probably not.

        1. Clif

          Clif, Lord High Pubah of the Asmovian Spaces and All Lesser Orbs therein, is totally in good faith.

          As far as you know.

      2. crow

        If my brother told me his name was Chadwick Shplaggend I would definitely call him that, and have a lot of fun with it. Why can’t people change their names to silly fun names?

        1. Merbrat

          Like good ol’ Bandicoot Cummerbund?

        2. milu

          ooh that’s a good one.
          my own life was changed forever when i learned from the fine nerds in this here comment section about puritan hortatory names.

          now every day i wrestle with the urge to ask everyone to start calling me Notwithstanding. That is such a fine, bizarre first name, and, on so many levels, it fits me just perfectly.

        3. Wagstaff

          Manga artist Hirohiko Araki himself has come up with one of the funnest naming systems ever: naming after rock bands!

          I mean, how can you top names like Green Baby, Magic Man, Fear the Reaper, or Dr. Feelgood?

        4. Anon A Mouse

          Look, if Vanilla Ice wasn’t the most dangerous mofo around I’d agree that it was funny.

        5. Wagstaff

          Well, just to be fair, most of those were songs.

        6. Jhon

          Thanks for the cool link! (I was named after my grandfathers. No fun at all.)

        7. davidbreslin101

          …now I’m thinking of Bestiality Carter from the Discworld books.

        8. Jon

          Or that one constable, Visit-the-Infidel-With-Explanatory-Pamphlets (an Omnian believer, who occasionally goes door-to-door in Ankh-Morpork with his friend Smite-the-Unbeliever-With-Cunning-Arguments).

      3. Minim

        A fair few misgenderings occur because people can’t change what other people think of them, though. Whilst the Billie-to-Jennifer isn’t quite that serious, Jennifer should still be called what she actually wants to be called. It doesn’t really matter why she wants to be called Jennifer now rather than Billie, because she has a right to change her name however she sees fit.

        The name I’ve chosen for myself isn’t actually used as anyone else’s name as far as I’m aware (I wouldn’t be surprised if somebody else used it but it’s very much not a common name). It’s just a word I’ve been drawn to since I first heard it. I expect it could sound silly to some people, but it’s more my name than my legal one. (And Jennifer is her legal name, which plenty of people would say is more valid than other name transformations) (Also plenty of names could end up sounding silly in one culture whilst being perfectly respectable in the culture they came from)

        My point is, using the names people want to be called by is respectful even when those names don’t sound serious to others.

      4. Norah

        It depends. People do change their names/names they want to be called without being trans. Sal herself was named Sally, but presumably when she started school or started being around people other than her family, she told them to call her Sal.

        If your brother told you to call him that, it sounds like it’d be in fun, not a serious name change.

        No, Jennifer doesn’t get to tell people what to think of her. But she can tell people to call her by her given name rather than a childhood nickname. Even if she’s doing it for the wrong reason, the polite thing is to call her what she prefers to be called.

        1. Zach

          If someone says you can’t use an old nickname for them anymore, they are rejecting your shared history. Note how she disregards everyone she ever knew who care for her.

          She’s having an identity crisis, or had one, and her new identity seams based on indulging all her worst flaws. No one who knew her before, especially without explanation, should have to indulge her.

    3. WanderingLynx

      “Jealous Vagina” made me cringe tbh, am I the only one or is this like an idiom I wasn’t aware of?

  9. Sirksome

    This is the first time I think Malaya might be a little right about Sal. She is a tiny bit fakey.

    1. Thag Simmons

      Yeah but in cases like this she’s fairly transparent about things.

      She’s not very good at being fakey, it turns out

    2. MrSmith

      Much as I dislike Malaya (and I really do) Sal is a lot fakey.

      “Ah want to be left alone, thats why ah dress very differently to everybody else, pretend to smoke cigarettes and ride a big, flashy motorbike to school”

      1. King Daniel

        Oh, Sal doesn’t pretend to smoke. She very actually smokes, as we’ve seen (and has been smoking since she was, what, 10? 11? Point is, she’s been smoking for nearly half her life by this point).

        1. Nono

          Yeah Sal does smoke cigarettes, she just doesn’t like weed.

        2. WanderingLynx

          And that might be because she’s faaaar more aware of racial issues than Walky, and both smoking cigarettes and getting someone with a better fake ID to buy the beer don’t risk her a lifetime in prison.

        3. King Daniel

          The only time we’ve seen Sal smoke weed in-comic, she only did it because “it was the done thing” for that particular context per the strip hovertext, and she spat it out in disgust after like 30 seconds. Sal probably just doesn’t like it.

        4. BBCC

          Yeah, Sal smokes. She smokes quite a bit. She’s not a chain smoker but she is a regular smoker.

      2. Jade

        I mean, I kinda want to be left alone, but I also love dressing in an alt style. It makes me happy when I look in the mirror. I don’t think she has to be a shy girl who does “normal” things to want to be left alone. (and on the smoking bit, my mother will sit with one in her mouth because to her the motion of it is soothing).

      3. Sirksome

        I don’t think the cool girl persona Malaya accuses her of is the fakey part. I think that’s actually who Sal is. The “Ah want to be left alone.” is the fakey part. She wants someone to be alone with. That used to be Marcie until she called Sal out on her co-dependency. It’s also probably why she likes hanging out with Danny.

        1. StClair

          Sounds right to me.

        2. MrSmith

          Yeah thats probably more accurate but the cool girl persona is tied up with the “Ah want to be left alone.” persona

        3. Sirksome

          That’s actually a huge trigger point for Sal. She’s commented many times that she never asked for the attention and hates that people superficially judge her based on her appearance. It’s actually a pretty rough spot to be in considering her history. Also it’s been shown that there’s some good old fashioned racism thrown in from when she got in that fight with AG. People either assume she’s looking for attention or a delinquent when she’s just trying to live her life.

        4. Keulen

          That makes sense to me.

      4. Sam

        Sometimes people do things for them and not based on what other people will think about it. Just because those things DRAW attention doesn’t mean that the intended and preferred response is for people to react and engage based on them.

        Like, if you sing in your shower, does that mean you want your family/roommates/anyone you live with or have lived with to come in and critique your singing? Or despite the fact it could catch their attention, would you prefer they ignore it and carry on because it is just something you are doing for you?

        1. MrSmith

          The easiest way to be left alone is to not stand out, Sal wanted to be left alone but also wanted everyone to notice her

        2. BBCC

          People who like motorcycles and dress like they like motorcycles aren’t allowed to want to be left alone?

        3. Clif

          Not if they’re hot.

          Sorry, I don’t make the rules; I just make fun of them.

        4. Chris Phoenix

          Gotta say, that sounds uncomfortably close to “She dressed like she wanted it, so that means she was asking for it.”

          There was even a strip where some creep was following a woman and told her, “You’re hot and I’m horny” when she told him to go away. AmaziGirl intervened.

        5. Dana

          The shitty part is I’m not sure Clif is mistaken. Like hot people don’t get autonomy. I’m going to drop this line of thought now and go back to assuming people are generally acting in good faith. Or take a nap. Or both.

        6. Anon A Mouse

          I’m sorry, but that is a colossally bad take. You may be right about Sal to a degree, she may be sabotaging her own attempts to be alone, but phrasing is important. Not everybody gets a choice about to “not stand out” and sometimes a persons personal style will stand out regardless of their own wishes.

        7. Anastasia

          Thank you for saying that. I’m a 6’3″ ginger girl, and there is nothing I can do to blend in.

        8. Jhon

          Special shoes. Then they’ll go “Just an attention getting device. Ignore her.”

        9. MrSmith

          Tall girls are hot, ginger girls are especially hot, put them together and thats exponentially hotter.

          (I apologise if you don’t want to be considered hot)

        10. Anon A Mouse

          Your attraction to a person has nothing to do with that person’s desire to be noticed or stand out.

        11. Roborat

          Move to Scotland?

        12. MrSmith

          I’m not saying what shes doing is right or wrong.

          I’m saying that if you dress very differently to everyone and drive a big (sweet) as motorbike to school then you’re going to stand out.

          Sal may well want to be left alone but she also likes the attention it gives her.

        13. StClair

          No.
          People do and can and should dress the way they want, that makes them comfortable, for themselves.
          Whether people notice, and how they react, and how the person being noticed feels about that attention, is an entirely different matter.

        14. StClair

          “You can present in a way that you like and are comfortable with, or you can be free from unwanted attention; choose one.”

          Yeah, not just no but hell no.

        15. thejeff

          Maybe you should be able to, but you often can’t. That’s just reality.

        16. Wereg

          That’s some shit I heard in highschool. “If you didn’t want people to bully you for being gay, you shouldn’t have come out as gay.”

    3. WanderingLynx

      I don’t think she’s fakey at all. I do think she’s been lonely for so long she thought that was what she wanted but everything else is real :’) Malaya meanwhile accuses everything she does to be caused by cringey teenage rebellion and I’d rather shoot myself than say she might have a tiny sliver of rightness lmao

  10. RassilonTDavros

    “an alternate version of me who actually cares.”

    So probably not the one who said “see if ah care!” into a tape recorder, then?

    1. RassilonTDavros

      hotness stuff aside, she’s probably right about Asher being dangerous.

      1. Thag Simmons

        I don’t know if the probably is necessary because even if Asher’s intentions are completely pure his family and their associates are extremely dangerous.

    2. King Daniel

      Somewhere in the multiverse, a Head Alien shivers with delight and doesn’t know why.

  11. Opus the Poet

    Dangit I can’t read the alt text on this device that used to be a phone and is now a WiFi only mini-tablet.

    1. Kyrik Michalowski

      The alt text for today is “She’s probably okay”

    2. Jeff K!

      For me, I can see it by tapping below the comic in the empty space to the right of the navigation buttons.

    3. Needfuldoer

      Tap the empty space under the comic and to the right of the navigation buttons.

    4. milu

      Have you tried tapping the empty space below the comic, to the right of the navigation buttons?

  12. Kyrik Michalowski

    Well Sal, Danny is currently single and has expressed interest in you. So you could always go for the Wonder Bread, it’s fairly and non-threatening.

    1. StClair

      This universe’s Danny doesn’t have the inexplicable harem-anime protagonist attraction of the original.

      1. RassilonTDavros

        The absurd levels of fighting-over-Danny is honestly my single biggest issue with the old continuity. Which is part of why Shortpacked! is my favorite comic in that universe, since Danny basically only shows up twice in it and never has a single line of dialogue (not counting the 2009 April Fools’ strip). Hell, the first half of this strip is pretty much dedicated to mocking the shit out of him (though it also demonstrates SP’s biggest shortcoming, namely its frequent use of ableist slurs in the early days). I like Dumbiverse Danny a lot better though.

        1. Thag Simmons

          Dumbiverse Danny is being written by someone who has come to recognize the tragic extent of Danny’s failings, and is so much more endearing as a result of it.

        2. Spencer

          Well, the people fighting over Danny were:

          – Sal, who had zero stability and normalcy in her life as she constantly moved around, whereupon her life went crazy and Danny because the sole remaining part of it that wasn’t about fighting aliens.

          – Billie, who also had no stability and both she and Danny mutually grew up and benefited from being in each others’ lives, and even then Billie would be extremely upset at the sacrifices she made for Danny in the face of his negligence.

          – Joyce, who was a wacko.

          Believe me when I say that when your life is chaotic and you don’t know what you’re going to be feeling at the end of the day, the idea of a romantic partner who is consistent and whose actions you can see coming a mile away becomes the hottest shit in the universe.

        3. RassilonTDavros

          The trouble with that is that Danny is nowhere near as consistent and predictable as the narrrative and the other characters make him out to be. Maybe it’s because I first read Roomies! on the rerun site which put the material relating to a certain retconned-in relationship in its proper timeline placement, but I always found the fact that Billie dated the guy who got her childhood-babysitter-slash-ex-girlfriend killed to be more than a little fucked up. Even without the retcon, that’s not exactly an action you can see coming a mile away.

          …or maybe both Jennifers’ ACTUAL “type” was just “people with a body count” all along, and the real reason for the breakup was that Ruth’s empty threats of femur beatings just weren’t doing it for her anymore.

        4. Wereg

          Good news: We’re gently listing towards everyone fighting over Walky instead.

      2. drs

        Yeah, that’s Walky’s role now.

    2. King Daniel

      …but everyone Danny dates ends up dating Walky afterwards…

      1. RassilonTDavros

        Technically it was Amazi-Girl who dated Danny, and Amber who dated Walky.

        1. King Daniel

          True, but that’s not as easy to make a joke out of. 😛

        2. Clif

          Technically, that was before the split and in any case Amber dated Danny during Parents day. So we’ll just have to hope that Danny never says anything and dates himself.

        3. Norah

          I thought both Amber and Amazi-Girl dated Danny in private. I remember a strip where they were in the elevator and Danny told Amber she was pretty. Amber told him to be careful, because publicly he dated Amazi-Girl, not Amber, and it wasn’t generally known yet that they were the same person.

        4. thejeff

          It was complicated – the two weren’t as distinct then (partly for meta reasons: Willis was originally writing it more as a secret identity thing than actual DID, but that shifted over time.)

          There were definitely cases early on where he was dating both of them, without distinguishing that himself. Later it became more fraught, even in private. Danny never really accepted the distinction and pushed to date both of them or to “break up” with AG and date Amber so he could see her more openly. By the end of their relationship though, AG was pushing back against him showing affection to Amber.

    3. Spencer

      Actually that brings up a good question: Danny has expressed that to Sal that he didn’t want to pursue her because he was into Ethan, but like, is he still into Ethan now or has he given up on that?

      1. RassilonTDavros

        I imagine we’ll find that out when Ethan re-enters the plot. Which I’m guessing will either be in this storyline or the next, since at that point it’ll have been a full book since his last appearance.

  13. StClair

    She’s fine!

    1. Tim

      dab

  14. newlland(Henryvolt)

    So we’re actually going down this road. If she doesn’t belong with Asher I’m sure she’ll find that out on her own and if Sal has any sense she’d commit to what she said in that last panel rather than any chance with her trying to get with Asher…but then again I might be a bit biased since my motto is also becoming “I’m alone and I’m fine.”

  15. Carla's #2 Fan

    While I’d prefer Danny with Ethan, I prefer Sal with Danny. Or just not Asher. No one should be with Asher. If he wants a redemption arc, he needs to finish that before he’s going to be good for a relationship.

    1. newlland(Henryvolt)

      Love redeems all….was that corny enough to earn a cringe from anybody?

      1. newlland(Henryvolt)

        That aside I’m willing to wait and see Asher turn over a new leaf if that’s his real intention but I’m not really all that for a Sal and Asher possible love interests.

        1. Carla's #2 Fan

          Well, the “or just not with Asher” part does include not being with anyone, cause I also support that direction!

    2. Zach

      You mean for him to show you he’s changed since Sal robed a gas station and Amber stabbed her through her hand?

      Dude’s a blank slate with reluctant ties to the mob. I’m eager to see him fleshed out more but I don’t see how he needs to redeem himself.

      1. Clif

        He aready redeemed himself by having Blaine killed.

        1. WanderingLynx

          Getting Blaine Killed: YAY A+++ THANK GOD

          But it’s not a free pass to redemptionhood, lmao. Like, Asher’s supposedly not in contact with the mob and yet he got a mob stooge/pig to do his dirty work >>;;;;

        2. Amara Rezby

          As satisfying as it was, it only makes Asher look worse because he very much so is still the mobster sal’s afraid he is. Even if he is hot and Sal is conflicted because he screwed her over and is dangerous but also she lowkey wants to screw him herself.

        3. Thag Simmons

          In his defense, Blaine used Asher’s family ties to the mob to blackmail him. Asher genuinely wanted out, but Blaine dragged him back in

        4. Chris Phoenix

          I think there’s independent evidence for only half of that. Blaine had real blackmail material, so if Asher had Blaine killed he was defending himself. That doesn’t necessarily mean Asher wanted out. Just means Asher stole money.

        5. BBCC

          Blaine mentioned Asher’s grandpa was still pretty disappointed Asher wanted out. Whatever else Asher lies about, that part was honest.

    3. Spencer

      In most other circumstances I would be shipping Sal/Danny hard, but I think it’s for the best it not happen.

      Here’s how I see it: Danny and Sal as friends would talk to each other in just about the same way as they talk to each other as a couple. They’re already comfortable with each other and relaxed and see each other for who they are, and consequently there isn’t really a lot of drama to plumb in that kind of romance because they already get along so well. Plus there’s a level where I think it’d be kinda like rewarding Danny outgrowing his White Knight sexism views by giving him the coolest, raddest lady around who really gets him, and I think that would devalue his growth if he got a prize at the end of it.

      Danny and Ethan have zero chemistry but, like, at least there are some depths to plump there. At least if they got together they could react to some new circumstances, but Sal and Danny together feels like they’d act around each other exactly as they do now.

      TLDR: DoA has landed on the exact depiction of the two where I don’t ship it and prefer it as a mutually respectful and healthy friendship, and also Sal should introduce Danny to Sayid.

      1. Clif

        Yep. Danny and Ethan have zero chemistry.

        https://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/04-the-whiteboard-dong-bandit/thoughts/

        1. Spencer

          That is definitely an imagine spot of Danny realizing his bisexuality instead of, like, a conversation between the two that isn’t about Amber or them going “you’re the greatest, no you’re the greatest.”

  16. brionl

    Obviously Sal should be with college-aged cartoon me.

  17. Viktoria

    Wait, does Sal fake her accent? It’s not shown at all until it’s suddenly very thick in the last panel.

    1. Clif

      Ah don’t know what you’re talkin about.

    2. BBCC

      It gets thicker when she’s angry (despite Malaya saying the opposite).

    3. Reltzik

      Might be a coincidence. She doesn’t have any leading vowels to drop or any I’s to turn into Ah’s until the last panel.

    4. Thag Simmons

      Don’t think so

    5. Valerie

      Accents are funny things. I was raised by people with more “country” accents, but my normal speaking voice is more standard American. The country accent tends to slip out a bit now and then, but especially if I’m angry.

  18. BBCC

    Asher can be dangerous and untrustworthy AND Sal can protest too much. They can both be a thing.

    1. NotThatDrew

      Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking as well

    2. WanderingLynx

      I missed your comment dlfkjsdkl but basically: THIS. Like, she’s upset at herself for thinking he’s hot! Sometimes hot people do horrible things! I just hope to high heavens that ship does NOT sail.

      Amazigirl, please take him down and kiss the girl

  19. Reltzik

    I want to say “Sal no,” but Sal is already no-ing.

  20. nothri

    “All right Sal, as I acknowledged you are Pure Sex, so by definition are very Fine, but how are you doing?”

  21. Kravis

    It’s like that old saying/David Bowie song says: “Asher to Asher”.

  22. WanderingLynx

    Asher IS dangerous and tbh he shouldn’t be with anyone. Sal can be both sincere in this and be pissed the dude grew up to be hot, and can any of y’all blame her?

    Meanwhile I sincerely doubt Jennifer knows of his involvement in ruining Sal’s life. She can be ride-or-die and do stuff like Sexy Lesbian Suicide Pacts because she’s self destructive af but she’s not that stup– Oh. Oh no. Goddammit. IDK if she knows but if she does I bet she romanticizes the fuck out of it, Lana del Rey style, isn’t it.

    1. WanderingLynx

      [Distant Off To The Races plays over the skating rink’s sound system]

      1. milu

        this is neither here nor there, but there’s an excellent podcast series on the legacy of Nabokov’s Lolita by Jamie Loftus. she speaks at some length of Lana Del Rey’s esthetics.

        It is a lovely song, but boy does it feel creepy to me now…

    2. Thag Simmons

      I want to think Jen knows about some of Asher’s baggage, but she thought Sal was Amazi-Girl for at least a decade’s worth of comics despite a mountain of evidence to the contrary and Amber flat out confessing to her

      She’s probably clueless unless Asher or Sal told her outright

  23. Dara

    kiss her and make it better, amazi-girl

    1. WanderingLynx

      NOW WE’RE TALKING

  24. Qube

    YEAH she’s fine, that was what the last comic was about

  25. carms

    it’s the WEIRDEST THING to see SAL being all schoolgirl crush.
    cos that’s DEFO it.
    He was older and cool n shit and she followed him around and got arrested
    and now he’s older n cool and has finished puberty and she’s Still Into Him

    I DiSaPpRoVe

    1. zee

      I don’t think he’s older

  26. BenRG

    FWIW, I’d long suspected that the whole thing between Sal and Asher was that early-teen Sal had a puppy crush on the ‘bad boy’ which she’s never acknowledged, dealt with and, consequently, got over.

  27. Masumi

    To be fair, if I was crushing on Asher, I’d be reluctant to admit it too XD

    (I’m a scientist. I was once, accidentally, crushing on a flat earther. The crush didn’t immediately stop when I found out. NOPE THAT DEFINITELY NEVER HAPPENED)

    1. carms

      hehehe I have a friend who once got a coffee date with a socialist alternative uni guy (you must have then at other unis right). Turned out the guy was STRAIGHT and it was a MARKETING PITCH dressed up as a gay date.
      It’s still SO funny to me. wattadickhed

  28. pararell spade

    Panel four Sal is here to remind us that she is Walky’s twin and that this could perfectly be him with a wig, and I love it.

  29. brute

    and then sal tries to set up asher and amazi-girl by having amazi-girl compete with jennifer

  30. Keulen

    I really didn’t want to ship Sal with Asher, but she’s giving some major tsundere vibes towards him here.

  31. AGV

    I get what she’s saying and I’m taking her word for it, but she’s putting herself in it way too much for me to not think that she’s at least a little jelly

  32. Lone Duck

    She may be struggling to say this, due to the Sexy Coefficient, but I think Sal is frustrated because she feels that, to her knowledge Asher hasn’t undergone any personal growth. In short Asher doesn’t deserve a relationship, and Billie-Jennifer hasn’t been selective enough, picking the first willing partner after breaking off with Ruth. I think the jealousy is for Asher’s happniess, not Asher himself.

    1. C.T. Phipps

      I dunno, Asher is trying to leave the mob and apologized with the caveat of getting punched. What exactly is the necessary display to show personal growth?

      1. JBento

        Being a protagonist, apparently.

      2. Anon A Mouse

        It’s probably more of a perception thing. He “seems” like the same person she knew. Older, hotter, yes, but he’s still dangerous like she remembers him. This circles back on herself and makes her wonder “Am I still the same?” and makes her question her OWN growth. There is likely a bit of attraction involved too, and she is probably right that he is at least a little dangerous Of course BOTH of them have grown and changed considerably but Sal is obviously wrestling with a number of things.

        1. Alex

          That Sal avatar is perfect for the incredibly piercing analysis.

      3. Jhon

        I will accept that Asher has shown personal growth after he’s been punched a few more times.

      4. BBCC

        Well, for us, we know Asher’s got at least some involvement with the mob he tried to leave. Willingly or not, that DOES make him dangerous. Sal knows he stole his grandfather’s money which, again, makes him dangerous to be around.

        1. thejeff

          He also tried to leave by stealing their money – which while we can argue stealing ill-gotten gains isn’t actually morally wrong, is at best not really a commitment to avoiding crime.

        2. JBento

          OTOH, if you steal money from the MOB, law enforcement is probably reasonably low on the list of “people you don’t want finding out about it”. Whether people find out about it or not, getting jailed for it is not in your future, however short that future may be.

        3. milu

          hm that’s a weird take, going by every gangster movie i’ve ever seen.
          not in that its technically incorrect (maybe idk???), in that apparently when you steal from the mob the cops might not be your main concern (but you do got concerns) (like, Samuel L. Jackson or whatever)

        4. JBento

          Yeah, your concern is that the mob finds out, in which case the only reason anyone will ever find your body is if they want to send a message, in which case your body will definitely be found. Right here. And there. And over there.

        5. thejeff

          Absolutely, but that’s not really the point. Basically I’d say it’s not really a big sign of personal growth, which leaving the mob might be if you didn’t steal on the way out.

  33. James Starkey

    Methinks the lady doth protest too much. Verily.

    1. BenRG

      Yeah, I don’t think that Willis could have lampshaded that more clearly than he has.

      1. JBento

        It’s an entire chandelier. It remains to be seen if it’s going to fall on anyone before the end of the movie.

    2. Deanatay

      AG: So, if I’m hearing you correctly, you’re saying… that I should date him!

      Sal: WHAT?!?!? NO!!!!

      AG: I can HANDLE danger, and he’s kinda cute…

      Sal: Look, ah’m sayin’ that he’s not fit for ANY woman… not until he comes to me on his knees, kisses my feet, and begs me for forgiveness, then MAYBE he can have a woman… if any woman wants him… WHICH THEY WON’T!!

  34. Ziggy78eog

    Sal is in her boat, going up and down denial.

  35. Rabisch

    Sal is saying that Amazi Girl have to become next Asher’s love interest? Interesting….

    1. RassilonTDavros

      Huh… that was an interpretation I hadn’t thought of.

  36. Amos Batista

    The Amazi-girl’s smile at 2nd panel is so precious and still so captious.

  37. Victor Riley

    I hope this isn’t an actual attraction she has to him… he’s the one that pulled the fire alarm in the first place that got everyone kidnapped.

    Call me paranoid, but she’s more right to say that NO ONE should be with him, because he’s dangerous. There should be no one that “can handle the danger”… because relationships shouldn’t be about danger. That’s looking for trauma.

  38. DudeMyDadOwnsaDealership

    It’s his Granddad who’s dangerous, not him. The problem is the possibility of one of his Granddad’s saner men blackmailing him again for aid in another job or such. He’s where he is today by never trying to be a hero when the crap hits the fan.

    Sal should avoid him even more than Billie. She likes to take a stand…

  39. Mr. Random

    Unless it’s the Sears tower.

  40. Well_Played

    Didn’t he get rat on her which got her locked up? I’m surprised she would have a crush on him.

    1. C.T. Phipps

      Well he was a child then and I imagine Sal has mixed feelings about her own role in armed robbery, including threatening Ethan as well as Amber with traumatizing violence.

    2. thejeff

      Crushes aren’t rational.

    3. Eldritchy

      Stockholm Syndrome is a thing so this doesn’t really surprise me.

      1. David M Willis

        It’s not a thing! https://twitter.com/sezmohammed/status/1252500993972948992

        1. Wagstaff

          Between this and Illymation’s testimony on abusive relationships, I’m just about totally lost on whether or not Stockholm Syndrome actually “exists”, let alone what it is.

          Not that I was ever one not to take anything in popular psychology without a whole dump truck of salt, but still….

          Now to get the free prize at the bottom of a Cognac bottle….

  41. darkoneko

    Sal’s gonna burst into flames if she stays single much longer

    1. Alex

      Seriously. How has the hottest cast member been single this entire time?

      1. Needfuldoer

        She detests being put on a pedestal or shoved into a role by others, but isn’t quite sure what she wants to be herself.

        https://www.dumbingofage.com/2018/comic/book-9-comic/01-flyin-to-the-red/misses/

  42. Lumino

    Her justification nonwithstanding, Sal is kinda right.

    Asher IS dangerous, and I worry for Billie.

  43. Orangey

    Ah man does this mean Asher’s going to be more of a main character… Also Sal having a crush on Asher is kinda messed considering their history. Like I know crushes are irrational but I’m really not interested in seeing where this goes. Can we just push Asher back to the side please, I am not interested in his “redemption” arc after he got someone put in jail and potentially got a man killed???

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